NationStates

a couple things to consider:

1. NS =/= Earth
2. Most every nation here can be considered "extraterrestrial". The WA itself is "extraterrestrial".

Grays Harbor wrote:a couple things to consider:

1. NS =/= Earth
2. Most every nation here can be considered "extraterrestrial". The WA itself is "extraterrestrial".

OOC: Building on that, half the nations I'm aware of are civilizations spanning systems and even galaxies, so you can't really even say 'on your planet' because the WA spans half the known NS multiverse. This may also be in violation of the rule regarding committees. I'd recommend giving the rules page and all prior resolutions a good read-through before proceeding further, if you haven't already.

As in extraterrestial you mean aliens? IM LITERALLY AN ALIEN COMPANY!

Jebslund wrote:

Grays Harbor wrote:a couple things to consider:

1. NS =/= Earth
2. Most every nation here can be considered "extraterrestrial". The WA itself is "extraterrestrial".

OOC: Building on that, half the nations I'm aware of are civilizations spanning systems and even galaxies, so you can't really even say 'on your planet' because the WA spans half the known NS multiverse. This may also be in violation of the rule regarding committees. I'd recommend giving the rules page and all prior resolutions a good read-through before proceeding further, if you haven't already.

In addition to that, past tech nations have no need or means to process this info. This proposal really only affects modern tech nations, not the whole WA.

OOC: Why did you submit this again? It is nowhere near ready...

The New California Republic wrote:OOC: Why did you submit this again? It is nowhere near ready...

Well I updated it. I believe it’s ready now

Hezapotamia wrote:

The New California Republic wrote:OOC: Why did you submit this again? It is nowhere near ready...

Well I updated it. I believe it’s ready now

OOC: That last line needs to be nixed. It puts the proposal in blogposal and possibly sloganeering territory, and may even constitute branding (pronoun). If you really want my advice, though: Withdraw the proposal, post the changes here, and wait for people to help, bumping as allowed by the OSRS. Until people here consider your proposal to be ready, do not submit it. It's actually not all that common for people writing proposals for the first time to get it right the first, second, or even third time. Usually, the drafting process takes weeks, even months, to get all the kinks ironed out.

Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hezapotamia
Noting Nations may not have experienced extraterrestrial life forms.

Understanding the need to be alerted to the presence of Alien life forms.

Also Noting the need to protect each other each other

Understands that some Nations already made contact.

The World Assembly hereby decrees.
i. The creation of the World Assembly Extraterrestrial Establishment. (WAEE), Funded by the WA.
ii. The WAEE will notify all nations in the event of Extraterrestrial contact.
iii. All nations must share any data or information pertaining to Extraterrestrials & UFOs.
iv. The WAEE will have access to space centers & Super telescopes with in the WA.
v. The WAEE cannot withhold any information.
vi. All WAEE data is to be considered, public knowledge for governments only.
vii. WA members have the right to withhold information from their citizens.

This the updated version. I withdrew the proposal.

((OOC: This time around can you answer our concerns as they come up, please, instead of just immediately going 'ok new draft time?' It would also be nice if you could put any new drafts in the opening thread, with old drafts spoilered, so people can see the progression of the proposal without having to dig through the thread.))

"I fail to see why this is necessary," says Ambassador Olsh, a very tall alien with a wiry mane. "If visitors to a planet wish to be known, then they will let themselves be known. My people don't hide our presence. In addition, some nations may be existing in a world with negligible extraterrestrial presence- if the various conditions of their universe make faster than light technology impossible, then there is little to no chance that they will ever come to notice alien life, or that alien life will ever come to notice them. Those nations would gain nothing by this proposal and would lose much in the form of paperwork and having yet another piece of bureaucracy to deal with."

OOC: My notes bolded.

Hezapotamia wrote:Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hezapotamia
Noting Nations may not have experienced extraterrestrial life forms.

Understanding the need to be alerted to the presence of Alien life forms.

Also Noting the need to protect each other each other "Each other" is written twice. "Noting" will suffice. "Also" is not really needed here.

Understands that some Nations already made contact. "Understanding", rather than "Understands" I assume you meant "have already"?

The World Assembly hereby decrees. Replace the period with a colon (:). You're starting a list.
i. The creation of the World Assembly Extraterrestrial Establishment. (WAEE), Funded by the WA.
ii. The WAEE will notify all nations in the event of Extraterrestrial contact.
iii. All nations must share any data or information pertaining to Extraterrestrials & UFOs. With each other, I take it? You may also wish to specify WA nations so as not to seem like this clause affects non-WA nations
iv. The WAEE will have access to space centers & Super telescopes with in the WA. "within" is one word. I'd also add observatories to the list.
v. The WAEE cannot withhold any information. "...from WA governments
vi. All WAEE data is to be considered, public knowledge for governments only. Lose the comma. What you've just made here is a comma splice error. When in doubt, say the sentence out loud. If you do not naturally pause, you do not need a comma except in cases of the last comma of a list. I'd reword the sentence, as well. "public knowledge" implies it is known to the general public, creating a bit of a contradiction in your wording.
vii. WA members have the right to withhold information from their citizens.

This the updated version. I withdrew the proposal.

OOC: Looks decent so far. DO NOT RESUBMIT IT YET. I am but one person, and there are others who have been here longer than I who may spot things I've missed. Wait until more people have given their two cents on this before you even *think* of resubmitting it.

Jebslund wrote:OOC: My notes bolded.

Hezapotamia wrote:Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Hezapotamia
Noting Nations may not have experienced extraterrestrial life forms.

Understanding the need to be alerted to the presence of Alien life forms.

Also Noting the need to protect each other each other "Each other" is written twice. "Noting" will suffice. "Also" is not really needed here.

Understands that some Nations already made contact. "Understanding", rather than "Understands" I assume you meant "have already"?

The World Assembly hereby decrees. Replace the period with a colon (:). You're starting a list.
i. The creation of the World Assembly Extraterrestrial Establishment. (WAEE), Funded by the WA.
ii. The WAEE will notify all nations in the event of Extraterrestrial contact.
iii. All nations must share any data or information pertaining to Extraterrestrials & UFOs. With each other, I take it? You may also wish to specify WA nations so as not to seem like this clause affects non-WA nations
iv. The WAEE will have access to space centers & Super telescopes with in the WA. "within" is one word. I'd also add observatories to the list.
v. The WAEE cannot withhold any information. "...from WA governments
vi. All WAEE data is to be considered, public knowledge for governments only. Lose the comma. What you've just made here is a comma splice error. When in doubt, say the sentence out loud. If you do not naturally pause, you do not need a comma except in cases of the last comma of a list. I'd reword the sentence, as well. "public knowledge" implies it is known to the general public, creating a bit of a contradiction in your wording.
vii. WA members have the right to withhold information from their citizens.

This the updated version. I withdrew the proposal.

OOC: Looks decent so far. DO NOT RESUBMIT IT YET. I am but one person, and there are others who have been here longer than I who may spot things I've missed. Wait until more people have given their two cents on this before you even *think* of resubmitting it.

Thank you so much for your help I’ll make the nessesary changes.

"It is General Assembly convention to put line breaks after each clause.'

Hezapotamia wrote:vi. All WAEE data is to be considered, public knowledge for governments only.

OOC: "For governments only" is the opposite of "public".

Also, "UFO" stands for "Unidentified Flying Object"; if you know it's an alien spacecraft, it's no longer unindentified, and should be classed as IFO (Identified Flying Object) instead.

Furthermore, like people have already pointed out, "extraterrestrial" fits like half the nations around here due to them not being from or on Earth, so I'd rather use the word "alien". And why are you making a WA committee to deal with the WA?

Also, put your latest draft in the first post, because right now I'm not sure what draft I should be commenting on.

I'm confused why is it called the world assembly then? Why not call the interstellar Assembly

Hezapotamia wrote:I'm confused why is it called the world assembly then? Why not call the interstellar Assembly

OOC:
Because that's what Max Barry decided to change it to after he was threatened with legal action by the actual, real life, United Nations.

Previous DRAFT

Noting Nations may not have experienced extraterrestrial life forms.

Understanding the need to be alerted to the presence of Alien life forms.

Also Noting the need to protect each other each other

Understands that some Nations already made contact.

The World Assembly hereby decrees.
i. The creation of the World Assembly Extraterrestrial Establishment. (WAEE), Funded by the WA.
ii. The WAEE will notify all nations in the event of Extraterrestrial contact.
iii. All nations must share any data or information pertaining to Extraterrestrials & UFOs.
iv. The WAEE will have access to space centers & Super telescopes with in the WA.
v. The WAEE cannot withhold any information.
vi. All WAEE data is to be considered, public knowledge for governments only.
vii. WA members have the right to withhold information from their citizens.




NEW DRAFT Alien Intelligence Act


Noting Some nations may not have experienced Alien life forms.

Aliens defined, for the purpose of this proposal; are intelligent life forms that are not Human nor from the world of humans.

Understands the need to protect our worlds if the occasion should arise.

Demands The creation of the World Assembly Alien Establishment

Whose duties are:


a. To create an international database for categorizing hostile & friendly life forms.

b. To inform WA governments of new Alien species that are a threat to the existence of humans and or Animals.

c. To investigate Aliens trespassing on WA planets.

d. To study Alien Life form’s genetics, anatomy.

e. To study Alien planets.

f. To establish constant communication to WA members space centers.

The World Assembly hereby decrees:

I. The creation of the World Assembly Alien Establishment. (WAAE), Funded by the WA.

II. The WAAE will notify all nations in the event of Alien contact.

III. All nations must share any data or information pertaining to Aliens, alien Space Craft, and weaponry with WA nations.

IV. The WAAE will have access to space centers, super telescopes, and observatories within the WA.


V. The WAAE cannot withhold any information from WA governments.

VI. WA members have the right to withhold WAAE information from their citizens.





Please help edit. Let me know any concerns.

Hezapotamia wrote:

Previous DRAFT

Noting Nations may not have experienced extraterrestrial life forms.

Understanding the need to be alerted to the presence of Alien life forms.

Also Noting the need to protect each other each other

Understands that some Nations already made contact.

The World Assembly hereby decrees.
i. The creation of the World Assembly Extraterrestrial Establishment. (WAEE), Funded by the WA.
ii. The WAEE will notify all nations in the event of Extraterrestrial contact.
iii. All nations must share any data or information pertaining to Extraterrestrials & UFOs.
iv. The WAEE will have access to space centers & Super telescopes with in the WA.
v. The WAEE cannot withhold any information.
vi. All WAEE data is to be considered, public knowledge for governments only.
vii. WA members have the right to withhold information from their citizens.




NEW DRAFT Alien Intelligence Act


Noting Some nations may not have experienced Alien life forms.

Aliens defined, for the purpose of this proposal; are intelligent life forms that are not Human nor from the world of humans.

Understands the need to protect our worlds if the occasion should arise.

Demands The creation of the World Assembly Alien Establishment

Whose duties are:


a. To create an international database for categorizing hostile & friendly life forms.

b. To inform WA governments of new Alien species that are a threat to the existence of humans and or Animals.

c. To investigate Aliens trespassing on WA planets.

d. To study Alien Life form’s genetics, anatomy.

e. To study Alien planets.

f. To establish constant communication to WA members space centers.

The World Assembly hereby decrees:

I. The creation of the World Assembly Alien Establishment. (WAAE), Funded by the WA.

II. The WAAE will notify all nations in the event of Alien contact.

III. All nations must share any data or information pertaining to Aliens, alien Space Craft, and weaponry with WA nations.

IV. The WAAE will have access to space centers, super telescopes, and observatories within the WA.


V. The WAAE cannot withhold any information from WA governments.

VI. WA members have the right to withhold WAAE information from their citizens.





Please help edit. Let me know any concerns.

OOC: Please, put this in the original post, don't put new drafts in a new post, as otherwise people have to look all over the thread to find the newest draft...

OOC: My notes underlined.

Hezapotamia wrote:[shnip]
NEW DRAFT Alien Intelligence Act
You may wish to make sure the category on this is correct.

Noting Some nations may not have experienced Alien life forms.

Aliens defined: Aliens, for the purposes of this proposal; are intelligent life forms that are not Human nor from the worlds of humans or other sapient WA member species. Alternately: Defining "aliens", for the purposes of this proposal, as...

Understands"Understanding" the need to protect our worlds if the occasion should arise.

Demands The creation of the World Assembly Alien Establishment

Whose duties are:


a. To create an international database for categorizing hostile & friendly life forms.

b. To inform WA governments of new Alien species that are a threat to the existence of humans sapient species would be better here. Not all WA nations are humans. Jebslund being an example. and or Animals.

c. To investigate Aliens trespassing on WA planets.

d. To study Alien Life form’s genetics, anatomy.

e. To study Alien planets.

f. To establish constant communication to WA members space centers.

The World Assembly hereby decrees:

I. The creation of the World Assembly Alien Establishment. (WAAE), Funded by the WA.

II. The WAAE will notify all nations in the event of Alien contact.

III. All WA nations must share any data or information pertaining to Aliens, alien Space Craft, and weaponry with WA nations. Resolutions CANNOT be written to impose laws on non-WA members. The WA's jurisdiction extends ONLY to WA members.

IV. The WAAE will have access to all space centers, super telescopes, and observatories within the WA.


V. The WAAE cannot withhold any information from WA governments.

VI. WA members have the right to withhold WAAE information from their citizens.





Please help edit. Let me know any concerns.

OOC: Getting there. Wait for more input, but it's getting better. Just remember to put all new drafts in the original post and put the old versions in spoiler tags.

Thanks for everyone's imput!

Will resolution 355 block this proposal?

"This looks like it would cause some... Unnecessary strain on diplomatic relations whether they be friendly or not. Do not think any nation would want to share anything at all if it means that it would get shared through the World Assembly to a possible enemy. Or even just in general, there goes a lot of meaningful trust building right out the window to the void of space.

Hezapotamia wrote:Defining “alien”, for the purpose of this proposal as intelligent life forms that are not human nor from the world of humans or other sapient WA member species

Though seriously, looks like you are just trying to take up space with a definition for this right here. Pretty sure that in this notably human filled existence and then some that not every 'human' (Furettium made sure to put air quotes around that word.) nation is a part of the World Assembly and by saying not from a world of humans, does that mean they get an exemption on having anything they share to a member of this group pretty much exposed to this body."

Ferret Civilization wrote:"This looks like it would cause some... Unnecessary strain on diplomatic relations whether they be friendly or not. Do not think any nation would want to share anything at all if it means that it would get shared through the World Assembly to a possible enemy. Or even just in general, there goes a lot of meaningful trust building right out the window to the void of space.

Hezapotamia wrote:Defining “alien”, for the purpose of this proposal as intelligent life forms that are not human nor from the world of humans or other sapient WA member species

Though seriously, looks like you are just trying to take up space with a definition for this right here. Pretty sure that in this notably human filled existence and then some that not every 'human' (Furettium made sure to put air quotes around that word.) nation is a part of the World Assembly and by saying not from a world of humans, does that mean they get an exemption on having anything they share to a member of this group pretty much exposed to this body."

Comment Withdrawn

Hezapotamia wrote:

Ferret Civilization wrote:

"This looks like it would cause some... Unnecessary strain on diplomatic relations whether they be friendly or not. Do not think any nation would want to share anything at all if it means that it would get shared through the World Assembly to a possible enemy. Or even just in general, there goes a lot of meaningful trust building right out the window to the void of space.

Though seriously, looks like you are just trying to take up space with a definition for this right here. Pretty sure that in this notably human filled existence and then some that not every 'human' (Furettium made sure to put air quotes around that word.) nation is a part of the World Assembly and by saying not from a world of humans, does that mean they get an exemption on having anything they share to a member of this group pretty much exposed to this body."

It will be up to the WA to decide.

OOC: Nope. That argument doesn't really cut it as far as responses go. You may as well have said "I am ignoring your comments" for all the good that it does. I mean you are within your rights to dismiss criticism, but responding in this manner is generally unhelpful, and makes people less likely to help you in the future.

The New California Republic wrote:

Hezapotamia wrote:

It will be up to the WA to decide.

OOC: Nope. That argument doesn't really cut it as far as responses go. You may as well have said "I am ignoring your comments" for all the good that it does. I mean you are within your rights to dismiss criticism, but responding in this manner is generally unhelpful, and makes people less likely to help you in the future.

Okay ill keep that in mind