WA Heart Disease Research Coalition

[Solomons Land]

https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... mission=ok WA Heart Disease Research Coalition is a new bill that I proposed, I posted this to get some more attention and see what you guys think.

[Essu Beti]

OOC: Illegal. Committee-only violation, several spelling errors, and mandating taxes.

It's really a lot better if people post the draft here in the forum first before submitting, so it can be edited and adjusted as needed. I mean it's good that you posted here at all, but it would have been better if you had posted here first.

Proposal quoted for ease of access and record-keeping purposes:

WA Heart Disease Research Coalition

A resolution to modify universal standards of healthcare.

Category: Health

Area of Effect: Research

Proposed by: Solomons Land

This resolution believes that all good things come from good health. This resolution also believes that heart disease is one of the biggest endangerments of good health. This resolution finally believes that there is not nearly enough being done to prevent heart disease.

This resolution defines heart disease as any mortal ailment in the heart or arteries. This resolution defines medical research as scientific studies that are studding a physical ailment. This resolution defines a coalition as a group of organized people with a cause. This resolution defines substantial as an amount of resources that compares with the nations respective GPD (this is not to say a fraction, but that it shall be tailored to.) This resolution defines a tax as a prise a government instals that its people must pay.

This resolution orders the construction of the WA Heart Disease Research Coalition (WAHRC,) and mandates that each WA nation must chose to provide:
a: A substantial coalition of scientists to work for the WAHRC; or
b: A substantial amount of monetary funds, this can be provided by:
I: The government pays the WAHRC directly; or
II: The government instates a tax that pays the WAHRC.
In addition, this resolution mandates that:
c: The WAHRC is entirely devoted to medical research on heart disease and resources are not to be elsewhere distributed, except for other types of medical research and then only under the supervision of other resolutions.

IC: "No," says Iksana, flicking his tail. "My nation doesn't have what you well-off nations would consider scientists so we can't provide that, and we also don't have a substantial amount of funds to give. We're definitely not taxing our impoverished citizens so that you affluents can feel better about yourself."

[Bananaistan]

OOC: That's good advice from Essu Beti. I'd also add that I wouldn't use the queue as a drafting tool which can be treated as spamming the queue if overdone. Rather, you should post your draft here before submission. The community will point you in the right direction.

Otherwise, welcome to the GA.

You should have a quick look at the rules here before any further submissions. The passed resolutions thread is searchable to check to see if your idea has already been done.

[Solomons Land]

https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1503858666 I resubmitted the proposal and I think I fixed all the errors.

[Solomons Land]

https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... mission=ok Actually, this is the link.

[Essu Beti]

OOC: Please, please, please post your drafts here in this thread, by editing them into your OP. Like Bananaistan said, using the queue as a drafting tool is not a good idea.

EDIT: You added two lines; that fixed jack-all. Seriously, drafting is what the forum here is for. Use it for its purpose.

EDIT PART 2: Also you just made it a criminal action to have a family history of heart disease, drink coffee (raises blood pressure, which is associated with heart disease), or eat unhealthy foods (unhealthy eating is also associated with heart disease)

[Grays Harbor]

The new-ish version, for record keeping. Since the author can't be bothered, apparently.

WA Heart Disease Research Coalition

A resolution to modify universal standards of healthcare.

Category: Health

Area of Effect: Research

Proposed by: Solomons Land

This resolution believes that all good things come from good health. This resolution also believes that heart disease is one of the biggest endangerments of good health. This resolution finally believes that there is not nearly enough being done to prevent heart disease.

This resolution defines heart disease as any mortal ailment in the heart or arteries. This resolution defines medical research as scientific studies that are studding a physical ailment. This resolution defines a coalition as a group of organized people with a cause. This resolution defines a criminal action as an action that has been deemed illegal. This resolution defines substantial as an amount of resources that compares with the nations respective GPD (this is not to say a fraction, but that it shall be tailored to.) This resolution defines a tax as a prise a government instals that its people must pay.

This resolution mandates the construction of the WA Heart Disease Research Coalition (WAHRC,) and mandates that each WA nation must chose to provide:
a: A substantial coalition of scientists to work for the WAHRC; or
b: A substantial amount of monetary funds, this can be provided by:
I: The government pays the WAHRC directly; or
II: The government instates a tax that pays the WAHRC.
In addition, this resolution mandates that:
c: The WAHRC is entirely devoted to medical research on heart disease and resources are not to be elsewhere distributed, except for other types of medical research and then only under the supervision of other resolutions.
d: It is a criminal action to do anything that the WAHRC has proven causes heart disease.

It is a criminal action to do anything that the WAHRC has proven causes heart disease

This in itself is sufficient for us to vigorously oppose this, and to make snarly faces while doing so.

The remainder of the draft is just annoyingly simplistic.

[Bears Armed]

OOC: Illegal. Committee-only violation, several spelling errors, and mandating taxes.

OOC: The current version gives nations the choice of a direct payment by their government or the introduction of a tax for this purpose.
I therefore wouldn't consider it to be "mandating" taxes, and so have only marked it as illegal for the Committee-only violation rather than on that basis as well.

[The Sheika]

https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_view_proposal/id=solomons_land_1503859048?submission=ok Actually, this is the link.

Please stop submitting your proposal and post a draft here where it can be reviewed, critiqued, and edited prior to submission. If this is something that you really care about, it helps to take the time to make sure it is as good as it can be prior to submission.