[DRAFT] Contraceptive Rights

[Araraukar]

Pointless, non-topical clauses are not inherently funny. You may want to consider what actually makes for good humor. Orange Julius is not funny because haha it's a drink, it is funny because we established a playful understanding that any repeal of "Law Enforcement Education" would pass, regardless of what was in the text, because of how bad the target was.

OOC: He's been told this about 17 times by now, I don't think he's going to listen now either.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Pointless, non-topical clauses are not inherently funny. You may want to consider what actually makes for good humor. Orange Julius is not funny because haha it's a drink, it is funny because we established a playful understanding that any repeal of "Law Enforcement Education" would pass, regardless of what was in the text, because of how bad the target was.

OOC: He's been told this about 17 times by now, I don't think he's going to listen now either.

Now that's just unfair. Firstly, seventeen times is a blatant exaggeration; I've been told this two times at most. Secondly, the idea that I don't modify jokes if people don't find them funny is incorrect, as can be seen in this thread where I went ahead and overhauled the entire proposal based on feedback (only for my second draft to be ignored completely for whatever reason). Thirdly, this isn't supposed to be funny just because 'ha ha random preamble'; I even went ahead and made it clear what the point behind the joke was:

BELIEVING that no-one reads preambles anyway,

Look, if you don't find the joke funny then fine. You can't please everyone. What I take issue with is the suggestion that I added in random preambulatory clauses for no reason when the reason is clearly set out in advance, or the idea that I'm somehow too stubborn to take even the slightest bit of feedback. Criticism is one thing; underhanded character attacks is another.

[Owelian Free States]

Can we acknowledge that tomatoes are botanical fruits, and culinary are vegetables? I mean, whole peanuts are botanical fruit, too. And if botanical definitions trump culinary ones, then vegetables wouldn't exist.

[The Egyptian Pharocracial Suzerainty]

CONCERNED about kittens that shoot lasers from their eyes,

We will jealously guard our laser eyed kittens. You shall not infringe upon them.

ACKNOWLEDGING the benefits of unsliced bread,

We are quite happy to note that someone acknowledges those benefits. We had thought that we were screaming voicelessly into the dark all these years in our extolation of the virtues of the unslicener.

NOTING that 'to be or not to be' is the question,

Simply "be" is the answer.

DECLARING once and for all that tomatoes are fruits, not vegetables,

You may declare this, but your declaration will not change the fact that the humble tomato is both, and also a sauce.

WISHING to ban abortion, nuclear weapons and rainbows,

All right now, that's just going too too far.

You will take our nuclear weapons when you pry them from our cold, dead, and faintly glowing clenched fingers. And no one takes rainbows from our leprechauns.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Neville: Any other comments?

[States of Glory WA Office]

OOC: The preamble has been overhauled to resemble something a little more serious.

[Constitutional Technocracy of Minecraft]

WORRIED that such unwanted pregnancies can lead to poverty, physical and psychological hardship and, in extreme cases, to abortion,

Um... I'm pretty sure a sizeable (I mean, like over 50% possibly) percentage of unwanted pregnancies lead to abortion - it's not an extreme case. At least in Western nations

[States of Glory WA Office]

WORRIED that such unwanted pregnancies can lead to poverty, physical and psychological hardship and, in extreme cases, to abortion,

Um... I'm pretty sure a sizeable (I mean, like over 50% possibly) percentage of unwanted pregnancies lead to abortion - it's not an extreme case. At least in Western nations

Neville: What's a 'western nation'?

Fairburn: In any case, numbers aren't too much of an issue. Even one preventable abortion ought to be enough to get the extremely pro-life nations on my side.

[Araraukar]

OOC: He's been told this about 17 times by now, I don't think he's going to listen now either.

Now that's just unfair. Firstly, seventeen times is a blatant exaggeration; I've been told this two times at most.
*snip*
Look, if you don't find the joke funny then fine. You can't please everyone. What I take issue with is the suggestion that I added in random preambulatory clauses for no reason when the reason is clearly set out in advance, or the idea that I'm somehow too stubborn to take even the slightest bit of feedback. Criticism is one thing; underhanded character attacks is another.

OOC: I meant accross your various proposals with similar unfunny jokes. Your current one At Vote is partially in trouble because of said jokes, and you've used such things on many more.

But I'll concede you being able to put stubborness aside under constant pressure, as evidenced in this thread's draft. I'll give it a proper look-over once I'm slightly less sleep-deprived. Ok, a lot less sleep-deprived, but anyway...

It's going to be one of the RP accounts... PPU should be just right?

[WACP]

The World Assembly Conservative Party Will support this if it gets submitted to the Assembly.

[Separatist Peoples]

"This thing reads like a bloody trainwreck. Lemme get in there and cut away the excess..."

[box]

Contraceptive Rights
Category: Human Rights | Strength: Significant

The World Assembly,

ACKNOWLEDGING that there existare various ethical and religious views regarding contraception,

"Are is sufficient."

"Exists and are mean the same thing. One is less pompous."
CONCERNED that an inability to utilise use contraceptive methods or devices can potentiallyresult in unwanted pregnancies,

"Utilize means the same thing as use and is less pretentious, which is a problem among legislators in general. I, myself, am guilty. Potentially isn't necessary, either. The word "can" already connotes uncertainty of result."

WORRIED that suchunwanted pregnancies can lead to poverty, physical and psychological hardship and, in extreme cases, to abortion,

"Such provides nothing to this sentence."

BELIEVING, therefore, that the decision on whether or notsurrounding contraceptioncontraceptive useis to be utilised must rest with the individual, not with the state,

"Therefore is unnecessary and offers nothing but pomp. You've manged to make contraceptive use passive. That is bad in law."

HEREBY:

1. DEFINES contraception, for the purposes of this resolution, as an act undertakento prevent fertilisation as a result of sexual intercourse,

"Undertaken isn't necessary."

DEFINES a contraceptive device, for the purposes of this resolution, as a device, item or pharmaceutical that is designed to facilitate the process of contraception,

"A device is an item. You don't need to define a device as a device."

REQUIRES member states to legalise the act of contraception within their borders,

"You've already defined contraception as an act. You needn't include it."

PROHIBITS member states from criminalising the production, transfer, sale,importation, exportation, possession or use of medicaldevices, items and pharmaceuticals that otherwise meet national and international regulations on the basis that such devices,items or pharmaceuticals are contraceptive devices,

"Lacking evidence that you're legislating for member states, you probably needn't clarify. A sale is a transfer, albeit for consideration. So is importation and exportation. You've covered production, possession, use, or transfer. That should be more than enough."

PROHIBITS member states from placing more stringent restrictions on the production, transfer,sale, importation, exportation, possession or use of contraceptive devices than are placed on non-contraceptive medical devices, items and pharmaceuticals of similar risk to sapient individuals,

"I've made the points already here. Also, I would seriously consider changing "sapient individuals" to some variation on 'those who use such items or pharmaceuticals.' To avoid manipulation, you likely want this to be patient-oriented."

MANDATES that member states take effective action to ensure that no individual is forced either to utilise use or not to utiliserefrain from using contraceptive methods and devices,

"You use define "contraceptive" and "contraceptive device" but never "contraceptive method." There is an axiom in statutory interpretation that one should not change the wording of a phrase without intending to change the meaning. You should separate this reflect that axiom."

CLARIFIES that nothing in this resolution prevents member states, acting either individually or collectively, from passing further legislation promoting access to and research of contraceptive methods and devices.

"See above.




"Oh, this has our support."

[States of Glory WA Office]

"This thing reads like a bloody trainwreck.

OOC: I agree. You need to fix your BBCode.

Alright, alright, I'll change it. Give me a moment.

Edit: And done.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Neville: Would anyone like to comment on this proposal?

[Deropia]

Jason reads over the proposal before giving an approving nod.

"We most certainly approve, Mr. Robert, as I can't really see a downside to mandating that contraceptives be allowed. I mean the reduced strain on child welfare agencies and a reduction in the medical costs associated with performing abortions alone are enough to make the officers in the Finance Department back home giddy; and believe me, having them off my case even a little is spectacular. When this is submitted, you can expect full support from us."

[Bananaistan]

"This all looks acceptable. We will vote in favour should we have the opportunity."

[States of Glory WA Office]

Neville: Are we to assume that this proposal is ready for submission?

[Fauxia]

Neville: Are we to assume that this proposal is ready for submission?

"It may be, but we probably don't support and never will."

[Deropia]

"It looks good to me, personally. Full support when it's submitted."

[Fauxia]

"Afraid this will probably pass."

[States of Glory WA Office]

"Afraid this will probably pass."

Fairburn: I wouldn't bet on it.

[Fauxia]

"Afraid this will probably pass."

Fairburn: I wouldn't bet on it.

"I hope you're right."

[Communist Manlyfesto]

Can we add something mandating the ability to have an abortion on the same Draft Resolution?

[Fauxia]

Can we add something mandating the ability to have an abortion on the same Draft Resolution?

Perhaps SoG would, except that it would make this less popular and also, mainly, it's covered under possibly the worst resolution in history here.

[States of Glory WA Office]

OOC: Unless there are any further objections, I'll be submitting this for a test run in three days.

[The Great Boom]

Supported, and in addition, this resolution would be a fantastic opportunity to define nonconsensual removal of contraception (mid coitus) as sexual assault.