[DRAFT]Coral Reef Protection Act

[Grays Harbor]

It refers to a female who professionally assembles Lego blocks for display.

The Riser delegate tilts its head. "... What is a 'Lego'..?"

Invest in a cultural encyclopedia. Your delegation will be less lost then.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Guys, I miss Liagolas too, but this should probably be taken to TG.

[Araraukar]

Guys, I miss Liagolas too, but this should probably be taken to TG.

OOC: This has nothing to do with missing Liagolas (even though I do); referring to nations that were around in the past, when talking about how other nations' representatives act, is entirely IC-allowable. A few posts don't yet a threadjack make. But we're really just stuck waiting for the author to make the 2nd draft.

[The Kings Rangers]

"Thank you all for your input. I have taken it into consideration and made a redraft of the original proposal".

[Araraukar]

*pulls out the Proposal Scalpel^TM* Let's see what this beastie had for breakfast.

Area of Effect: Environmental

Your category is Environmental. You'll have to think which area of effect within Environmental would be best for this. You touch on mining and fishing both, but the overall scope looks to be on fishing (OOC: that's "trout fishing" as AoE).

NOTING that the activities of sapient beings has caused many coral reefs to die.

I'd change that to "ALARMED that coral reefs, which are delicate ecosystems, can so easily be irreparably damaged by sapient activities".

AWARE that these reefs can take as much as ten thousand years to grow, and that they are the habitat for many other species of aquatic creatures, meaning that their destruction destroys their entire ecosystem.

You may want to break this down a little, and in your definitions specify that you mean stone coral reefs.

REALIZING that various activities can damage and kill coral reefs including, but not limited to:
coral mining, which completely destroys and removes reefs
blast fishing, which is the use of explosives to stun fish to make fishing easier, but the concussive blast damages and destroys the reeds
canals, which can be dug through reefs, destroying these fragile habitats.

OOC: You'll want to use the list code for this. If you don't know how, let me know. Alternatively, move this from the preamble to the ban clauses in the active clause section.

HERBY bans the following for the preservation of coral reefs:

Herby doesn't ban anything, you're looking for the word "hereby". Also, you'll want to separate "hereby" from the banning clause. Additionally, define you mean stone coral reefs, then either define the things you want to ban or move the "realizing" clause here under the "ban" banner.

Coral Mining
Blast Fishing near coral reefs
Digging Canals near coral reefs, with the exception of nations entirely surrounded by reefs, as this could lead to a blockade of said nations.

OOC: Use list code, don't indent.

ALSO LIMITS fishing in the vicinity of coral reefs, to ensure the creatures needed to sustain life on the reef are not killed by overfishing.

To make that more scientific, you might actually want to call "the creatures" with the proper term keystone species and include a short definition what such a species is and does. Additionally, you may want to make this a "REQUIRES member nations to limit".

You may also want to add an "encourages" clause to suggest that nations should consider additional protections for reefs.

[The Kings Rangers]

--snip snip--

OOC:thanks, that's a great breakdown. I know how to do lists, but I'm not quite sure how i would work the realizing into the banning section. like, say "bans this, which does this, and that, which does that?

[Araraukar]

OOC:thanks, that's a great breakdown.

OOC: I call them proposal vivisections, hence the Proposal Scalpel^TM.

I'm not quite sure how i would work the realizing into the banning section. like, say "bans this, which does this, and that, which does that?

OOC: I suggest that you remove the "realizing" thing entirely and instead make a "defines" thing after the Hereby, in which you actually define the actions you want to ban. Then you write a "bans" clause in which you do the "including but not limited to" thing and list the ones you defined.

You could just rename the realizing into bans, but the definitions are fairly feeble and you'll probably run into trouble over them.

For example, Real Life "coral mining" is actually "coral sand mining" and often has little to do with coral reefs other than usually happening near them. (Yes, it can be an environmental hazard for reefs, but does not involve actually cutting into the reefs.) If you're looking for the wording in which coral reefs are cut apart, you probably want "coral collecting" and "coral harvesting". Also you've neglected to include bottom trawling (big issue with reefs on seamounts) entirely.

[Bears Armed]

You'll need to make sure that you don't contradict the Sustainable Fishing Act, but that avoidance should be fairly easy.