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The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:30 pm
by Mallorea and Riva
NEVILLE NotThatOne Chamberlain tripped over the ladder and cursed. It had almost become a morning routine: trip over ladder, curse; trip over paint-tin, curse; stub toe on large lump of plaster, curse. It was a wonder he didn't run out of curspiration.

Ever since the World Assembly had managed to squeeze into its collective drug-crazed, alcohol-sodden, ever-scheming consciousness the welcome information that there was Stimulus coming their way, they'd been arguing about what way that was.

The faction-ridden Snakepit had divided and divided again, amending repeals, cloturing proposals and generally having a high old time involving custard pies, assorted weaponry and a significant number of unexplained disappearances. But still they couldn't come to a decision on how to spend the windfall.

At last the sole delegate left standing (strength, vanished; category, unsocial injustice) had croaked out "Infrastructure!" before collapsing in an illegally branded, metagamed-out heap. And so it had been decided: the WA's infrastructure would be refurbished.

At first it had seemed like fun: offices for all, delegations happily employed choosing paint colours, the installation of a light rail line around the lake, an outbreak of fountains and commemorative statuary, tree-planting frenzies as the Green nations became locked in vicious evolutionary competition to make sure that their particular national (bloodsucking parasite) floral emblem was the one at the top of the ecological tree.

But it had begun to pall. The constant mess, the noise, the disorder, reminded the delegates too strongly of debates. Even the Strangers Bar, that very present help in time of trouble, had seemed at times to be under siege by folk with fluorescent jackets and hard hats.

Today, though, the Bar staff would have a respite. Today they would halt their labours and go outside to watch the Official Switching On of the new illuminated sign that proclaimed their calling. Violet had donned her nametag for the occasion ("Ms Brackett lowercase bold violet endbold close Brackett") and Neville had worn one of his famous black velvet suits. Now they stood, hand clutching anxious hand, Jimmy the part-time barman and Dazza the Australian-fusion chef quietly squabbling behind them, as the LEDs warmed to their task.

"Welcome" shone out, and Violet smiled.

"to the" clicked on, and Neville felt a surge of anticipatory pride.

"World Assembly Strangers' Bar!"

And then the lawyers parachuted in. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day.




OOC: NEWCOMERS: These remain the "rules" of the Bar: The BarLordian Conventions. They're RP conventions, not mod-enforced site rules, but if you break them Neville will do Evil Things to your poor ambassador. First edition.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:32 pm
by Separatist Peoples
Bell kicks in the door. "Bourbon, the whole bottle! It's been way, way too long since I had a real drink here!"

He looks around a bit. "Sure got quiet around here."

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:49 pm
by Wallenburg
The man in green, after getting his clothes dried in the boiler room, enters the Bar.

"Damn idgits! All I wanted to know was what the Unified Nations were!"

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:51 pm
by Separatist Peoples
Wallenburg wrote:The man in green, after getting his clothes dried in the boiler room, enters the Bar.

"Damn idgits! All I wanted to know was what the Unified Nations were!"


"Hush! Don't say that word!" Bell hisses, slumping down into his barstool and glancing upwards into the rafters.

"The last man that said the UNmentionable name was nearly defenestrated! Don't you have any idea how things work around here?"

Chuckie, from his nest in the corner and under a bar, sticks his head out and bleats in agreement.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:53 pm
by Wrapper
(Ari and Ahume, after a good night's rest, enter the bar.)

Separatist Peoples wrote:Bell kicks in the door. "Bourbon, the whole bottle! It's been way, way too long since I had a real drink here!"

He looks around a bit. "Sure got quiet around here."

ARI: Oh, it's YOU! Well, there goes the neighborhood, right, Wad Ahume?

AHUME: Who let you out of bed?

ARI: And dare I ask why you aren't in Agent Dressler's custody? Hmmm?

AHUME: Perhaps because she needed a shower.

ARI: (stares at Ahume) Ummm. Okay, I have no idea what that means.

AHUME: That's because you don't have three wives.

ARI: Ah. True. And I still don't know what that means.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:59 pm
by Wallenburg
Separatist Peoples wrote:
Wallenburg wrote:The man in green, after getting his clothes dried in the boiler room, enters the Bar.

"Damn idgits! All I wanted to know was what the Unified Nations were!"


"Hush! Don't say that word!" Bell hisses, slumping down into his barstool and glancing upwards into the rafters.

"The last man that said the UNmentionable name was nearly defenestrated! Don't you have any idea how things work around here?"

Chuckie, from his nest in the corner and under a bar, sticks his head out and bleats in agreement.

The man in green stares at the goat. "I'm not sure I want to know how things work here. Why is there a farm animal in this room? Would you like me to dispatch it for you?"

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:01 pm
by Separatist Peoples
Wrapper wrote:(Ari and Ahume, after a good night's rest, enter the bar.)

Separatist Peoples wrote:Bell kicks in the door. "Bourbon, the whole bottle! It's been way, way too long since I had a real drink here!"

He looks around a bit. "Sure got quiet around here."

ARI: Oh, it's YOU! Well, there goes the neighborhood, right, Wad Ahume?

AHUME: Who let you out of bed?

ARI: And dare I ask why you aren't in Agent Dressler's custody? Hmmm?

AHUME: Perhaps because she needed a shower.

ARI: (stares at Ahume) Ummm. Okay, I have no idea what that means.


"In her custody? That was weeks ago. At least two. I was cleared of all wrongdoing, and even managed to increase my stipend. Now I only have to rob my interns when I feel like it!"

Bell looks at the Wad's confused faces. "Oh, right. For whatever reason, traveling between the C.D.S.P. and the WAHQ tends to distort time a bit. Honestly, I think it has something to do with the whole Portal to the Multiverse thing that this place has going on for it. Whole offices phasing in and out, that's going to make travel a little wonky.

"At any rate, I was cleared and, by surrendering the right to sue the government for being falsely charged in absentia, I was given my post. Fair trade, I figured. I guess...I mean, I probably could have sued for damages in the millions...and my government salary isn't nearly that good...but...um...Dammit, I should have quit and sued!"

Wallenburg wrote:The man in green stares at the goat. "I'm not sure I want to know how things work here. Why is there a farm animal in this room? Would you like me to dispatch it for you?"


Without looking away from the Wads, Bell responded. "Touch my goat, and I will experiment on you to see what the Nullifier turns my pistol into when I shove it where the sun don't shine and squeeze the trigger."

He turns to face the Wallenburgian and extends his hand. "Ambassador Bell. Nice to meet you."

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:05 pm
by Wallenburg
Separatist Peoples wrote:Without looking away from the Wads, Bell responded. "Touch my goat, and I will experiment on you to see what the Nullifier turns my pistol into when I shove it where the sun don't shine and squeeze the trigger."

He turns to face the Wallenburgian and extends his hand. "Ambassador Bell. Nice to meet you."

The man in green squints his eyes at Bell. "Hmm...yer a military man, aren't you? I can tell. That fake little shit from the East doesn't have the balls to speak to me like that, and I've already insulted his mother more times than I can count. I'm Gregiry Foudman. Nice to meet you, Mr. Bell."

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:15 pm
by Wrapper
Separatist Peoples wrote:"In her custody? That was weeks ago. At least two. I was cleared of all wrongdoing, and even managed to increase my stipend. Now I only have to rob my interns when I feel like it!"

Bell looks at the Wad's confused faces. "Oh, right. For whatever reason, traveling between the C.D.S.P. and the WAHQ tends to distort time a bit. Honestly, I think it has something to do with the whole Portal to the Multiverse thing that this place has going on for it. Whole offices phasing in and out, that's going to make travel a little wonky.

"At any rate, I was cleared and, by surrendering the right to sue the government for being falsely charged in absentia, I was given my post. Fair trade, I figured. I guess...I mean, I probably could have sued for damages in the millions...and my government salary isn't nearly that good...but...um...Dammit, I should have quit and sued!"

(Ahume and Ari look at each other, puzzled for a moment, then shrug.)

AHUME: Actually we were trying to imply that you and Dressler--

ARI: Neville! One of anything to shove in Wad Ahume's mouth to shut him up, please, whatever's handy. So. Bourbon. Haven't given up the toxic stuff, have you? (whispers) You ought to have some fun with the man in green, he's a pisser all right.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:21 pm
by Separatist Peoples
Wrapper wrote:(Ahume and Ari look at each other, puzzled for a moment, then shrug.)

AHUME: Actually we were trying to imply that you and Dressler--

ARI: Neville! One of anything to shove in Wad Ahume's mouth to shut him up, please, whatever's handy. So. Bourbon. Haven't given up the toxic stuff, have you? (whispers) You ought to have some fun with the man in green, he's a pisser all right.


"You know I'd never kiss and tell...much. But...uh, Kate and I have started seeing each other. My stipend includes money for an assistant, which means I'll actually have the time and inclination to make regular visits back to the Confederate Dominion. Which makes me a whole lot more likely to actually see her."

Bell suppresses a grin. "Its good news. Hey, where's Helen? She wanted to say something before I left, but I managed to get hauled off. Again."

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:32 pm
by Sierra Lyricalia
Steph enters the bar, her ordinarily regulation-black spacer's mohawk streaked here and there with small threads of green and purple. Finding a spot at the empty bar, she tosses a single peanut into her mouth and chews it up. As Neville approaches, she finishes it and makes her order.

"Ah, my friend, it's good to see you! I see everything went well with the refit. I like the new booth lights - good choice on the brushed stainless after all those years of brass. Ah, lemme get a Gorgeous Items Jackie del Oro. Goddamn shame they're goin' outta business. Just glad you nabbed one o' the last few kegs."

Steph sips her golden ale and looks around the new iteration of what has become one of her favorite watering holes. "Hey, what...?"

She stalks toward the window, an extremely puzzled expression on her face. Upon reaching it, she closes one eye and tilts her head left and right jerkily, a second or two between each shift. She looks back into the bar; back out the window; back in the bar, and raises her arm straight out to sight on something across the room with her thumb; and back out again. She walks back to Neville.

"Dude, they twisted your whole floor a few degrees left! Uh, counterclockwise! Djyou know they were gonna do that?!?"

Neville says nothing the corners of his mouth twitching up just a tiny bit. Steph snorts quietly.

"Hah. Alright, be that way. Cheers," she says as she raises her glass toward him slightly. She takes a sip, turns, and walks toward where Bell, the Wads, and the new Wallenburgian are conversing.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:34 pm
by Wallenburg
Separatist Peoples wrote:Bell suppresses a grin. "Its good news. Hey, where's Helen? She wanted to say something before I left, but I managed to get hauled off. Again."

Gerald answers, having never left the bar. "I could contact her for you and get the portal in our office ready to receive her, if you want."

Then he notices Foudman. "Hey, aren't you that Westie going for Helen's old office? She'd like a word with you, I bet. You know what, Bell? I'll get her down here. She can talk with both of you."

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:41 pm
by Wrapper
Separatist Peoples wrote:"You know I'd never kiss and tell...much. But...uh, Kate and I have started seeing each other. My stipend includes money for an assistant, which means I'll actually have the time and inclination to make regular visits back to the Confederate Dominion. Which makes me a whole lot more likely to actually see her."

Bell suppresses a grin. "Its good news. Hey, where's Helen? She wanted to say something before I left, but I managed to get hauled off. Again."

(Ahume opens his mouth but Ari shoves a lime into it.)

Wallenburg wrote:Gerald answers, having never left the bar. "I could contact her for you and get the portal in our office ready to receive her, if you want."

ARI: You have a portal too, Gerald? That's not too, erm, techno-geeky for the Wallenburgian office?

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:44 pm
by Wallenburg
Wrapper wrote:
Wallenburg wrote:Gerald answers, having never left the bar. "I could contact her for you and get the portal in our office ready to receive her, if you want."

ARI: You have a portal too, Gerald? That's not too, erm, techno-geeky for the Wallenburgian office?

OOC: Geeky, yes. Techno, no.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:50 pm
by Wrapper
Wallenburg wrote:
Wrapper wrote:ARI: You have a portal too, Gerald? That's not too, erm, techno-geeky for the Wallenburgian office?

OOC: Geeky, yes. Techno, no.

So give Ari an IC answer, he'd love to hear it. And, I thought the guy in green was named Lotusk. Or is that a slur of some sort?

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:59 pm
by Wallenburg
Wrapper wrote:

So give Ari an IC answer, he'd love to hear it. And, I thought the guy in green was named Lotusk. Or is that a slur of some sort?

OOC: That was an accident, but now it is backstory. Lotusk is now a common West Wallenburgian name, like Nguyen is for the Vietnamese. It is a mild derogative when used to refer to someone without that surname.

IC: "Well, I'm not sure how they work, but the Neoswedes lended us the portal when we joined the World Assembly. It's done a great job, and has reduced travel time to and from Wallenburg by weeks."

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 2:32 pm
by Imperium Anglorum
Parsons enters and says, 'I don't see a difference at all'.

Wallenburg wrote:The man in brown extends his hand. "My name is Ogenbond. Mikael Alex-Oliva Ogenbond. I am here as a nominee for the office of chief representative of Wallenburg. That man who just got hammered out of the bar is my opponent. And you are?"

Parsons hands over a business card, entirely filled with text, and says, 'I had new ones printed after my last return home. It was New Year's Honours'.

OOC: ORIGINAL BAR THREAD

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 4:12 pm
by Astrolinium
Dr. Romero poked his head into the bar.

"Bah!" he loudly declared. "I heard there were renovations, but it all looks the same as ever."

Sighing, he entered the bar fully and headed over to his customary seat, blowing construction dust off the leather. "I'll have just a light beer for now, Neville. Now, what's this about portals?"

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 7:07 pm
by Araraukar
Separatist Peoples wrote:Dammit, I should have quit and sued!"

"I'm fairly sure the general sentiment of the Bar regulars is that we're glad you didn't quit. C.D.S.P. might've been in an awful lot of trouble - perhaps not officially, but you know how much reputation can count for - around here, if they hadn't let you back in," Janis said with a grin, lifting her cup of cocoa in greeting. "Oh, and uh, if you find a potted plant in your office, it might be best to let it stay there. If for no other reason than to give the greenery a good reason to rough up whoever next messes with you. I hope you saw the video file of their encounter with Donnaugh!"

Wrapper wrote:AHUME: That's because you don't have three wives.
Wrapper wrote:(Ahume opens his mouth but Ari shoves a lime into it.)

"Oh hey, Ahume, when you're done with that lime, I've been meaning to ask you how marriage works on your world? If it's not a taboo to ask about it, I mean."

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 7:14 pm
by Wallenburg
Imperium Anglorum wrote:
Wallenburg wrote:The man in brown extends his hand. "My name is Ogenbond. Mikael Alex-Oliva Ogenbond. I am here as a nominee for the office of chief representative of Wallenburg. That man who just got hammered out of the bar is my opponent. And you are?"

Parsons hands over a business card, entirely filled with text, and says, 'I had new ones printed after my last return home. It was New Year's Honours'.

Foudman takes the card and tries to read it, failing to comprehend the alphabet it uses. "What the devil..."

Meanwhile, Gerald is at the bar phone, relaying instructions to the office.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 7:28 pm
by Whovian Tardisia
A small blue speck is seen in the distance. It gets bigger rather quickly, and is soon identifiable as a Police box. It his the ground, narrowly missing the fountain, and skids right into the bar, leaning to one side as it scoots into the corner underneath the TV. A thunk is heard from behind it as the door hits the wall. "S**T!" says a familiar voice, as the box disappears, making a dreadful noise, and reappears with the door facing towards the bar. Ambassador Rupert Pink exits the box, his robot dog, K-9, following. "Hello Neville. Sorry about the dramatic entrance, Dalek fighter ships, dimensional jump, can be a bit crazy. Scotch please." K-9 takes one look at Chuckie and bleats. "What the hell is wrong with you?" thought Pink.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:11 pm
by Astrolinium
Giovanni took one look at the TARDIS and said, "Neville, better make it something stronger. I've officially seen goddamn everything."

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:27 pm
by Wrapper
Araraukar wrote:"Oh hey, Ahume, when you're done with that lime, I've been meaning to ask you how marriage works on your world? If it's not a taboo to ask about it, I mean."

(Ahume playfully mumbles through the lime for a minute or two.)

ARI: Did you get all that, Jane? (Ahume mumbles.) Joyce? (Ahume mumbles louder.) Janet?

AHUME: (pulls lime out of his mouth and tosses it in Ari's direction.) Don't believe him for a second, he damn well knows your name.

(The bartender places a couple drinks in front of the Wads. Ahume takes his and walks over, sitting next to Janis.)

AHUME: You have to understand, given how Wrapper is a union of vast cultures, there are many different types of marriages. I was born in a former lunar colony where, for lack of a better word, polygamy is the norm, though we refer to it as a line marriage. It works a little differently than, say, a sultan or prophet taking seven wives; it's a genuine group marriage.

ARI: Perhaps you should explain how line marriages evolved.

AHUME: Yes. Well, in order for colonists to survive long-term in harsh lunar conditions -- there's a saying among us "loonies", that the moon is a harsh mistress -- a different kind of family dynamic would be more beneficial than a monogamous marriage. So, line marriages evolved. You have multiple husbands and multiple wives, usually in equal numbers. A new spouse can marry into the group, but all must approve -- one can say they are all parties to the marriage contract -- and any spouse can "opt out" of a marriage at any time.

ARI: Like a divorce but without all the legal hassles.

AHUME: Exactly. One aspect of this system is that the marriage can last in perpetuity, as younger spouses are added to the marriage. Which means, more financial security, and fewer social services required with virtually no orphans and no zero-income or single parent families, all of which are more draining on a lunar community than on a terrestrial one, where resources are more plentiful and the economy more stable. And, the death of a spouse, while tragic, would not be as devastating as it could be, with multiple spouses picking up the slack in terms of financial, parental and emotional needs.

ARI: What you should realize, Janis, is that lunar-style line marriages are, erm, relatively uncommon throughout Wrapper; they don't make up a large percentage of marriages except among lunar-based cultures. It's really just a different way of doing things. Now I myself have an entirely different view of what a marriage should be. (He raises his glass.) Outlawed. Here's to the perpetuity of bachelorhood.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:39 pm
by Normlpeople
Clover snuck into the bar, taking a quiet seat in the back. "The manifestation is still here" she thought, partially hidden by it. A quick moment passed, then her usual drink arrived.
"Take one to Bell too, on me Neville" she said quietly, then turned her attention to the paperwork in front of her.

"Just a quick one" she thought as she set to work.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:47 pm
by Araraukar
Wrapper wrote:*snip*

"That sounds like a very practical solution - are the spouse choices based just on just getting along well, or do you marry for love, or both? And if I ask anything too personal, just tell me so; different cultures consider different things taboos, and I don't want to offend just to sate my curiosity."

OOC: Yeay, finally got to this topic in IC, been waiting for the opportunity since Bell's arrest. :P