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The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

Where WA members debate how to improve the world, one resolution at a time.

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Separatist Peoples
GA Secretariat
 
Posts: 15188
Founded: Feb 17, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Separatist Peoples » Sat Jan 30, 2016 6:53 pm

Astrolinium wrote:
"I mean, I'm sure I saw worse in prison, I've just blocked it out."


"Ah, yes. Prison. I hear that tends to be pretty unpleasant...well, I suppose you have seen it all, then."

His Worshipfulness Lord GA Secretariat, Authority on All Existence, Arbiter of Right, Toxic Globalist Dog, Dark Psychic Vampire, and Chief Populist Elitist!
Separatist Peoples should RESIGN!

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Astrolinium
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Posts: 36603
Founded: Mar 05, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Astrolinium » Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:00 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:
Astrolinium wrote:
"I mean, I'm sure I saw worse in prison, I've just blocked it out."


"Ah, yes. Prison. I hear that tends to be pretty unpleasant...well, I suppose you have seen it all, then."


"I suppose. I dunno. I drink a lot, helps me forget most of it. Of course, being held hostage is no walk in the park during the Feast of Flora, either."

The ambassador from Astrolinium took another sip of his beverage.
The Sublime Island Kingdom of Astrolinium
Ilia Franchisco Attore, King Attorio Maldive III
North Carolina | NSIndex Page | Embassies
Pop: 3,082 | Tech: MT | DEFCON: 5-4-3-2-1
SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...
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"Don't you forget about me."

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Wallenburg
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20689
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Wallenburg » Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:03 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:"Oh, good lord, you, too? We apologized to the manager of the hotel and the wedding party in the ballroom below us. If they didn't want the chandelier to come loose, they should have used more than six screws. I don't know who called the fire department, but there was no reason to notify the press, too."

"Yes, well...well I didn't know about that, Ben. I guess that's stuck in my mind now."

She is silent for a moment. "Were you aware that Kay had feelings for me, Ben? I was quite surprised, but it seems that many people here had noticed beforehand. Well, she had kept it a secret from me for some time, until after we rescued you. Well, the thing is, I've been keeping secrets from you as well."
THERE IS NO WAR IN BA SING SE
grestin went through the MKULTRA program and he has more of a free will than wallenburg does - Imperial Idaho
Minister of World Assembly Affairs for The East Pacific

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Wrapper
Retired Moderator
 
Posts: 5910
Founded: Antiquity
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Wrapper » Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:05 pm

Wallenburg wrote:She is silent for a moment. "Were you aware that Kay had feelings for me, Ben? I was quite surprised, but it seems that many people here had noticed beforehand. Well, she had kept it a secret from me for some time, until after we rescued you. Well, the thing is, I've been keeping secrets from you as well."

(Ari winces. Oh, why did you have to mention Arya to Benjamin....)

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Separatist Peoples
GA Secretariat
 
Posts: 15188
Founded: Feb 17, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Separatist Peoples » Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:12 pm

Astrolinium wrote:
Separatist Peoples wrote:
"Ah, yes. Prison. I hear that tends to be pretty unpleasant...well, I suppose you have seen it all, then."


"I suppose. I dunno. I drink a lot, helps me forget most of it. Of course, being held hostage is no walk in the park during the Feast of Flora, either."

The ambassador from Astrolinium took another sip of his beverage.

Bell raises his glass, which had been swapped out with a glass of Wood Alcohol when he wasn't looking.

"Drinking to forget seems to be the local sporting event of choice, after defenestration. Good job with that dolt Washington, by the way."

Wallenburg wrote:"Yes, well...well I didn't know about that, Ben. I guess that's stuck in my mind now."

"Try having it stuck in your wallet. Crystal chandeliers are bloody expensive. Why? For all anybody knows, its could be fucking glass. Who'd be any the wiser?!"

She is silent for a moment. "Were you aware that Kay had feelings for me, Ben? I was quite surprised, but it seems that many people here had noticed beforehand. Well, she had kept it a secret from me for some time, until after we rescued you.

His eyes go hard for a moment. "Helen, if I had any idea for a moment that Kay was holding out on anything, I'd have told ONI to take a hike."

Well, the thing is, I've been keeping secrets from you as well."

Bell holds up a hand. "I'm not sure I can withstand learning any more secrets, Helen. The last batch got me arrested, kidnapped, and beaten."
Last edited by Separatist Peoples on Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

His Worshipfulness Lord GA Secretariat, Authority on All Existence, Arbiter of Right, Toxic Globalist Dog, Dark Psychic Vampire, and Chief Populist Elitist!
Separatist Peoples should RESIGN!

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Astrolinium
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Posts: 36603
Founded: Mar 05, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Astrolinium » Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:23 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:
Astrolinium wrote:
"I suppose. I dunno. I drink a lot, helps me forget most of it. Of course, being held hostage is no walk in the park during the Feast of Flora, either."

The ambassador from Astrolinium took another sip of his beverage.

Bell raises his glass, which had been swapped out with a glass of Wood Alcohol when he wasn't looking.

"Drinking to forget seems to be the local sporting event of choice, after defenestration. Good job with that dolt Washington, by the way."


Romero raised his glass in response and clinked it against Bell's.

"Thank you. As I said, I'm a bit rusty. It had been a long time since I pushed anyone out a window, not since before Koopman got replaced."

He smiled in wonder at the ability for one person to hold two simultaneous and non-overlapping conversations in the Strangers' Bar, which always amazed and delighted him.
The Sublime Island Kingdom of Astrolinium
Ilia Franchisco Attore, King Attorio Maldive III
North Carolina | NSIndex Page | Embassies
Pop: 3,082 | Tech: MT | DEFCON: 5-4-3-2-1
SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...
About Me: Ravenclaw, Gay, Cis Male, 5’4”.
"Don't you forget about me."

Ex-Delegate of Ankh Mauta | NSG Sodomy Club
Minor Acolyte of the Vast Jewlluminati Conspiracy™

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Wallenburg
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20689
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Wallenburg » Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:39 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:Bell holds up a hand. "I'm not sure I can withstand learning any more secrets, Helen. The last batch got me arrested, kidnapped, and beaten."

Helen's expression darkens, and a tone of subtle anger enters her voice. "Ben, I really don't care whether you want to hear this or not. I helped to save your life, and you will listen to what I have to say. You see, Ben, I love you. That's the secret. I love you and I imagine that I will always love you. I tried to help you to understand. Damn, I even told you before Donnaugh dragged you away. I tried to be slow about telling you, but I guess I was too slow, because now I have no chance to even try for a future with you. I wasted my career to save you, and I wasted my love. I flew too close to the sun, I suppose, and now everything is a long fall to the bottom."

Helen feels tears building and wipes at her eyes. Her voice quivers but she continues. "I can't blame you, really, but how could you not understand that I wanted to be with you? I can barely look at you, Bell. All I can do now is be happy that you are happy. You get to be a distinguished ambassador with a lovely wife. And I? Well, I guess I'll have Gerald to comfort me in my final moments, but my career is over, and I fear that age will ruin me before I can find another person to love as I have loved you."

She stops speaking and looks down, sighing. Then she looks up at Bell, as if she has said nothing.
THERE IS NO WAR IN BA SING SE
grestin went through the MKULTRA program and he has more of a free will than wallenburg does - Imperial Idaho
Minister of World Assembly Affairs for The East Pacific

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Astrolinium
Post Czar
 
Posts: 36603
Founded: Mar 05, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Astrolinium » Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:54 pm

Giovanni intoned a shocked, "Daaaaaang," and then poured the rest of his drink into Bell's glass.
The Sublime Island Kingdom of Astrolinium
Ilia Franchisco Attore, King Attorio Maldive III
North Carolina | NSIndex Page | Embassies
Pop: 3,082 | Tech: MT | DEFCON: 5-4-3-2-1
SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...
About Me: Ravenclaw, Gay, Cis Male, 5’4”.
"Don't you forget about me."

Ex-Delegate of Ankh Mauta | NSG Sodomy Club
Minor Acolyte of the Vast Jewlluminati Conspiracy™

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Sierra Lyricalia
GA Secretariat
 
Posts: 3642
Founded: Nov 29, 2008
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Sierra Lyricalia » Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:17 pm

Araraukar wrote:
Herby wrote:Why, you need your system flushed or somethin'?

"No, I'm just curious. Humanoids are usually treated by doctors who themselves are humanoids, but I'm having a hard time visualizing a car treating a car."


Steph, nursing her beer nearby, turns toward Herby and Leveret at this.

"Well, we've all heard how their august automotive nation threw off the terrible lead foot of the dreaded Drivers lo these many years ago; they could hardly entrust their very lives to the same sort of people, could they? I sometimes picture a really complicated telepresence-robotics setup, where the car who's your mechanic gets on a special platform with huge ball bearings under each wheel, and those control the actions of a really sophisticated remote probe. Four-wheel-drive vehicles, and cars with all-wheel steering, would have an advantage just like ambidextrous humanoids do. Yeah, go on, Fifty-Three, laugh it up. I know y'all've got some other system, but it's not a totally bizarre picture."

She finishes the last of her beverage.

"I understand it's kinda personal. Be lyin' out my ass if I said I wasn't curious, though."
Last edited by Sierra Lyricalia on Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Herby
Diplomat
 
Posts: 856
Founded: Jul 13, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Herby » Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:31 pm

Araraukar wrote:"No, I'm just curious. Humanoids are usually treated by doctors who themselves are humanoids, but I'm having a hard time visualizing a car treating a car."

You think you got a tough time visualizing that, lemme tell you 'bout the sex life of Herbies. Heh heh. Eh. Or not.

Sierra Lyricalia wrote:"Well, we've all heard how their august automotive nation threw off the terrible lead foot of the dreaded Drivers lo these many years ago; they could hardly entrust their very lives to the same sort of people, could they? I sometimes picture a really complicated telepresence-robotics setup, where the car who's your mechanic gets on a special platform with huge ball bearings under each wheel, and those control the actions of a really sophisticated remote probe. Four-wheel-drive vehicles, and cars with all-wheel steering, would have an advantage just like ambidextrous humanoids do. Yeah, go on, Fifty-Three, laugh it up. I know y'all've got some other system, but it's not a totally bizarre picture."

She finishes the last of her beverage.

"I understand it's kinda personal. Be lyin' out my ass if I said I wasn't curious, though."

Hahaha! Heh heh. I ain't laughin' 'cause it's ridiculous, Stephie, I'm laughin' 'cause you ain't far off! Lotta robotics, lotta sensors, lotta probes at home. It's different here though. I got a guy down the road, he does great work. He does a lot of stuff on a lot of different vehicles for WA ambassadors, definitely the best 'round here at tinkerin'. And, he really gets me. He genuinely cares 'bout the machinery, he ain't nothin' like a Slaver-Driver. Know what I'm sayin'?
-- Ambassador #53. From the nation of Herby. But you can call me Herby.

Herby's doors and windows are ALWAYS locked when she's in the Strangers' Bar (unless she unlocks them for you). And, she has no accelerator, a mock steering wheel, and no gear shifter. So, no joyrides.

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Herby
Diplomat
 
Posts: 856
Founded: Jul 13, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Herby » Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:36 pm

Wallenburg wrote:
Separatist Peoples wrote:Bell holds up a hand. "I'm not sure I can withstand learning any more secrets, Helen. The last batch got me arrested, kidnapped, and beaten."

Helen's expression darkens, and a tone of subtle anger enters her voice. "Ben, I really don't care whether you want to hear this or not. I helped to save your life, and you will listen to what I have to say. You see, Ben, I love you. That's the secret. I love you and I imagine that I will always love you. I tried to help you to understand. Damn, I even told you before Donnaugh dragged you away. I tried to be slow about telling you, but I guess I was too slow, because now I have no chance to even try for a future with you. I wasted my career to save you, and I wasted my love. I flew too close to the sun, I suppose, and now everything is a long fall to the bottom."

Helen feels tears building and wipes at her eyes. Her voice quivers but she continues. "I can't blame you, really, but how could you not understand that I wanted to be with you? I can barely look at you, Bell. All I can do now is be happy that you are happy. You get to be a distinguished ambassador with a lovely wife. And I? Well, I guess I'll have Gerald to comfort me in my final moments, but my career is over, and I fear that age will ruin me before I can find another person to love as I have loved you."

She stops speaking and looks down, sighing. Then she looks up at Bell, as if she has said nothing.

Herby whispers to Steph.

Oh. Damn. I thought she was handlin' this stuff okay. Guess not.
-- Ambassador #53. From the nation of Herby. But you can call me Herby.

Herby's doors and windows are ALWAYS locked when she's in the Strangers' Bar (unless she unlocks them for you). And, she has no accelerator, a mock steering wheel, and no gear shifter. So, no joyrides.

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Kernen
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6449
Founded: Mar 02, 2011
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Kernen » Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:53 pm

Stooping to enter, the ten foot form of an ogre walks into the bar. His odor preceded him by several feet, the smell of rotting meat and an unwashed body. The ogre was typical for its kind. It had a body nearly three times as broad as a person, and two yellowed tusks protruded from it's bottom jaw. Beady, bloodshot eyes peered from a thick brow, and his yellowed skin was covered in a wiry hair.

The ogre's clothing was also fairly typical for it's race. He was swathed in a dirty vest and a grenade bandoleer. An AK-variant rifle dangled from his belt, chambered in the high-caliber ogres can handle, and with the wooden stock hacked off to create a bolter-style machine pistol, and a wickedly sharp war axe sat in a loop. The axe was probably the cleanest item on it's person, fastidiously kept shining and with a razor's edge.

"Nyos khe amaloki Bell. I'ska brashka i'fhan isarak'i!"

He pulls out a piece of ratty paper with the picture of his contact and approaches him at the bar. "Nyos khe amaloki Benjmin Bell."

The ogre tosses a sticky sack with something heavy inside onto the table.
From the throne of Khan Juk i'Behemoti, Juk Who-Is-The-Strength-of-the-Behemoth, Supreme Khan of the Ogres of Kernen. May the Khan ever drink the blood of his enemies!

Lawful Evil

Get abortions, do drugs, own guns, but never misstate legal procedure.

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Wallenburg
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20689
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Wallenburg » Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:59 pm

OOC: wut

IC: Gerald sizes up the ogre and decides that while he still stands taller than the creature, it could pound him to a bloody pulp if it wanted to. Meanwhile, Helen sits still, near-paralyzed by fear.
THERE IS NO WAR IN BA SING SE
grestin went through the MKULTRA program and he has more of a free will than wallenburg does - Imperial Idaho
Minister of World Assembly Affairs for The East Pacific

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Separatist Peoples
GA Secretariat
 
Posts: 15188
Founded: Feb 17, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Separatist Peoples » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:03 pm

Wallenburg wrote:Helen's expression darkens, and a tone of subtle anger enters her voice. "Ben, I really don't care whether you want to hear this or not. I helped to save your life, and you will listen to what I have to say. You see, Ben, I love you. That's the secret. I love you and I imagine that I will always love you. I tried to help you to understand. Damn, I even told you before Donnaugh dragged you away. I tried to be slow about telling you, but I guess I was too slow, because now I have no chance to even try for a future with you. I wasted my career to save you, and I wasted my love. I flew too close to the sun, I suppose, and now everything is a long fall to the bottom."

Helen feels tears building and wipes at her eyes. Her voice quivers but she continues. "I can't blame you, really, but how could you not understand that I wanted to be with you? I can barely look at you, Bell. All I can do now is be happy that you are happy. You get to be a distinguished ambassador with a lovely wife. And I? Well, I guess I'll have Gerald to comfort me in my final moments, but my career is over, and I fear that age will ruin me before I can find another person to love as I have loved you."

She stops speaking and looks down, sighing. Then she looks up at Bell, as if she has said nothing.


Bell gulps down his glass, which tasted funny now that Giovanni had added his drink to it. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out of it.

He cleared his throat. "Helen, I-"

Kernen wrote:Stooping to enter, the ten foot form of an ogre walks into the bar. His odor preceded him by several feet, the smell of rotting meat and an unwashed body. The ogre was typical for its kind. It had a body nearly three times as broad as a person, and two yellowed tusks protruded from it's bottom jaw. Beady, bloodshot eyes peered from a thick brow, and his yellowed skin was covered in a wiry hair.

The ogre's clothing was also fairly typical for it's race. He was swathed in a dirty vest and a grenade bandoleer. An AK-variant rifle dangled from his belt, chambered in the high-caliber ogres can handle, and with the wooden stock hacked off to create a bolter-style machine pistol, and a wickedly sharp war axe sat in a loop. The axe was probably the cleanest item on it's person, fastidiously kept shining and with a razor's edge.

"Nyos khe amaloki Bell. I'ska brashka i'fhan isarak'i!"

He pulls out a piece of ratty paper with the picture of his contact and approaches him at the bar. "Nyos khe amaloki Benjmin Bell."

The ogre tosses a sticky sack with something heavy inside onto the table.


"Oh, goddammit. What can I do for you now? I happen to know the ogres aren't members."

His Worshipfulness Lord GA Secretariat, Authority on All Existence, Arbiter of Right, Toxic Globalist Dog, Dark Psychic Vampire, and Chief Populist Elitist!
Separatist Peoples should RESIGN!

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Herby
Diplomat
 
Posts: 856
Founded: Jul 13, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Herby » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:04 pm

What? No no no no no no, Benny, I swear on a stack of owner's manuals, if you dare look in that goddamn sack or even talk to that ogre before answering Helen... Dawww who am I kiddin'. Helen, wanna go for a ride or you wanna watch Benny do somethin' stupid just to avoid talkin' to you?
-- Ambassador #53. From the nation of Herby. But you can call me Herby.

Herby's doors and windows are ALWAYS locked when she's in the Strangers' Bar (unless she unlocks them for you). And, she has no accelerator, a mock steering wheel, and no gear shifter. So, no joyrides.

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Wallenburg
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20689
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Wallenburg » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:07 pm

Herby wrote:What? No no no no no no, Benny, I swear on a stack of owner's manuals, if you dare look in that goddamn sack or even talk to that ogre before answering Helen... Dawww who am I kiddin'. Helen, wanna go for a ride or you wanna watch Benny do somethin' stupid just to avoid talkin' to you?

"I, well...oh, that smell is repulsive..." Helen retches, clutching the table.
Last edited by Wallenburg on Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
THERE IS NO WAR IN BA SING SE
grestin went through the MKULTRA program and he has more of a free will than wallenburg does - Imperial Idaho
Minister of World Assembly Affairs for The East Pacific

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Herby
Diplomat
 
Posts: 856
Founded: Jul 13, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Herby » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:10 pm

Wallenburg wrote:
Herby wrote:What? No no no no no no, Benny, I swear on a stack of owner's manuals, if you dare look in that goddamn sack or even talk to that ogre before answering Helen... Dawww who am I kiddin'. Helen, wanna go for a ride or you wanna watch Benny do somethin' stupid just to avoid talkin' to you?

"I, well...oh, that smell is repulsive..." Helen retches, clutching the table.

Come on, kiddo, I got a new air freshener. See? A nice little pine tree. That smells like cherries. Ehhh. Just like pine trees should. In Candyland I guess.
Last edited by Herby on Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-- Ambassador #53. From the nation of Herby. But you can call me Herby.

Herby's doors and windows are ALWAYS locked when she's in the Strangers' Bar (unless she unlocks them for you). And, she has no accelerator, a mock steering wheel, and no gear shifter. So, no joyrides.

User avatar
Kernen
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6449
Founded: Mar 02, 2011
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Kernen » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:10 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:
"Oh, goddammit. What can I do for you now? I happen to know the ogres aren't members."


The ogre thrust the ratty paper at Bell and pushed the filthy sack towards him.

"i'Fhan'i jahar lok i'h, ke? i'drach arak i fhan, i'drach lok jahar. I bring, you pay!"

The fetid breath emanating from the tusked mouth was enough to make anybody's eyes water. Ogre diet consisted of meat from a wide variety of sources, and the superior stomachs were far less picky as to the quality of the meat than human stomachs might have been. This ogre was no exception.
From the throne of Khan Juk i'Behemoti, Juk Who-Is-The-Strength-of-the-Behemoth, Supreme Khan of the Ogres of Kernen. May the Khan ever drink the blood of his enemies!

Lawful Evil

Get abortions, do drugs, own guns, but never misstate legal procedure.

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Astrolinium
Post Czar
 
Posts: 36603
Founded: Mar 05, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Astrolinium » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:15 pm

Giovanni tried and failed to hold his breath, so he pulled a convenient surgical mask (don't ask) out of his pocket, stuck a pine-scented air freshener (also, don't ask) in it, and strapped it happily to his face.

His voice muffled by the fabric, he said, "Is this thing literally so dumb that even the translators can't pick up what it's saying? Given that I've understood everything everyone else has ever said here, that must be an advanced level of stupidity, maybe even pre-language levels."
The Sublime Island Kingdom of Astrolinium
Ilia Franchisco Attore, King Attorio Maldive III
North Carolina | NSIndex Page | Embassies
Pop: 3,082 | Tech: MT | DEFCON: 5-4-3-2-1
SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...
About Me: Ravenclaw, Gay, Cis Male, 5’4”.
"Don't you forget about me."

Ex-Delegate of Ankh Mauta | NSG Sodomy Club
Minor Acolyte of the Vast Jewlluminati Conspiracy™

User avatar
Wallenburg
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20689
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Wallenburg » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:19 pm

Herby wrote:
Wallenburg wrote:"I, well...oh, that smell is repulsive..." Helen retches, clutching the table.

Come on, kiddo, I got a new air freshener. See? A nice little pine tree. That smells like cherries. Ehhh. Just like pine trees should. In Candyland I guess.

"Ackh, it smells worse than the Independence sewers, and I should know!" Helen looks around the bar, spots a wastebin, and runs over to it. As she kneels down next to it, she vomits a thick, green mixture, shuddering and writhing as the smell lingers.
THERE IS NO WAR IN BA SING SE
grestin went through the MKULTRA program and he has more of a free will than wallenburg does - Imperial Idaho
Minister of World Assembly Affairs for The East Pacific

User avatar
Separatist Peoples
GA Secretariat
 
Posts: 15188
Founded: Feb 17, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Separatist Peoples » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:19 pm

Herby wrote:What? No no no no no no, Benny, I swear on a stack of owner's manuals, if you dare look in that goddamn sack or even talk to that ogre before answering Helen... Dawww who am I kiddin'. Helen, wanna go for a ride or you wanna watch Benny do somethin' stupid just to avoid talkin' to you?

"Herby," Bell says through very clenched teeth, "the ogres are a violent, incredibly mercurial, slave-taking society that quite literally glorifies in killing non-ogres. Shut. Up. Unless you really think I'd survive ignoring him."

Kernen wrote:
Separatist Peoples wrote:
"Oh, goddammit. What can I do for you now? I happen to know the ogres aren't members."


The ogre thrust the ratty paper at Bell and pushed the filthy sack towards him.

"i'Fhan'i jahar lok i'h, ke? i'drach arak i fhan, i'drach lok jahar. I bring, you pay!"

The fetid breath emanating from the tusked mouth was enough to make anybody's eyes water. Ogre diet consisted of meat from a wide variety of sources, and the superior stomachs were far less picky as to the quality of the meat than human stomachs might have been. This ogre was no exception.


Bell very carefully accepts the piece of paper. "Hold on, hold on. Let me see what this even says. Could you take a step back, you're in the light."

He reads the document and, prompted by the low snarl of the ogre, looks into the sack.

"Yeah. No, that's definitely Lupinski. Um, that's definitely some of Lupinski, at least. Look, I'm really sorry, but I'm not the one who pays out on bounties. I'm only mentioned in case you found me with him. Wait, did you cut off his ears?"

Astrolinium wrote:Giovanni tried and failed to hold his breath, so he pulled a convenient surgical mask (don't ask) out of his pocket, stuck a pine-scented air freshener (also, don't ask) in it, and strapped it happily to his face.

His voice muffled by the fabric, he said, "Is this thing literally so dumb that even the translators can't pick up what it's saying? Given that I've understood everything everyone else has ever said here, that must be an advanced level of stupidity, maybe even pre-language levels."


"Mercurial. Slaver. Violent for fun. Stop making this worse!"

His Worshipfulness Lord GA Secretariat, Authority on All Existence, Arbiter of Right, Toxic Globalist Dog, Dark Psychic Vampire, and Chief Populist Elitist!
Separatist Peoples should RESIGN!

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Herby
Diplomat
 
Posts: 856
Founded: Jul 13, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Herby » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:24 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:"Herby," Bell says through very clenched teeth, "the ogres are a violent, incredibly mercurial, slave-taking society that quite literally glorifies in killing non-ogres. Shut. Up. Unless you really think I'd survive ignoring him."

Huh. Gee I dunno, looks kind o' like a teddy bear to me. Yo. Shrek. Buy you a drink? Neville makes a mean mudslide if that's your thing.
-- Ambassador #53. From the nation of Herby. But you can call me Herby.

Herby's doors and windows are ALWAYS locked when she's in the Strangers' Bar (unless she unlocks them for you). And, she has no accelerator, a mock steering wheel, and no gear shifter. So, no joyrides.

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Wrapper
Retired Moderator
 
Posts: 5910
Founded: Antiquity
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Wrapper » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:34 pm

Herby wrote:
Separatist Peoples wrote:"Herby," Bell says through very clenched teeth, "the ogres are a violent, incredibly mercurial, slave-taking society that quite literally glorifies in killing non-ogres. Shut. Up. Unless you really think I'd survive ignoring him."

Huh. Gee I dunno, looks kind o' like a teddy bear to me. Yo. Shrek. Buy you a drink? Neville makes a mean mudslide if that's your thing.

ARI: Erm, hang on, Benjamin, Herby has a point. One really shouldn't jump to conclusions about one's intentions based solely on their race or skin tone or odor. Right, Wad Ahu-- oh, where did Ahume go? He was here just a moment ago....

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Astrolinium
Post Czar
 
Posts: 36603
Founded: Mar 05, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Astrolinium » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:36 pm

Separatist Peoples wrote:
Astrolinium wrote:Giovanni tried and failed to hold his breath, so he pulled a convenient surgical mask (don't ask) out of his pocket, stuck a pine-scented air freshener (also, don't ask) in it, and strapped it happily to his face.

His voice muffled by the fabric, he said, "Is this thing literally so dumb that even the translators can't pick up what it's saying? Given that I've understood everything everyone else has ever said here, that must be an advanced level of stupidity, maybe even pre-language levels."


"Mercurial. Slaver. Violent for fun. Stop making this worse!"


"Bell, we have an unprecedented opportunity here to make great strides forward in linguistics and all you care about is not being enslaved? Where's your spirit of curiosity, man?"
The Sublime Island Kingdom of Astrolinium
Ilia Franchisco Attore, King Attorio Maldive III
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SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...
About Me: Ravenclaw, Gay, Cis Male, 5’4”.
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Kernen
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6449
Founded: Mar 02, 2011
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Kernen » Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:46 pm

The ogre grabbed Bell by the collar and lifted him to eye level. An eye level made ever more apparent by the decorative scars under the ogre's eyes, indicating his completion of very painful and dangerous rituals, and marking him as a very strong warrior in his own right. During this, the sack falls to the floor, spilling the grisly contents of the former Sergeant Lupinski's head, sans the ears.

"I kill, you pay! i'Fhan'i ny drach'ki, ke? i'fhan'i isrusk juj kavam shok'gran. Maybe kill you instead, yes?"
From the throne of Khan Juk i'Behemoti, Juk Who-Is-The-Strength-of-the-Behemoth, Supreme Khan of the Ogres of Kernen. May the Khan ever drink the blood of his enemies!

Lawful Evil

Get abortions, do drugs, own guns, but never misstate legal procedure.

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