The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[The New European Order]

"So," McNally says, as a smirk descends across his face. "I ask every incoming ambassador a question, and you, my good sir, are no exception. What is your position on abortion?"

Smith throws his hands up, before losing balance and falling off his barstool.

[New Vragoltinus]

Having no-one to talk to Vernard picks up his drink, sipping from it before a person that looks near identical to him, helmet, gas mask and suit bursts into the bar making muffled yells and staggering towards Vernard

"Oh bloody hell can I not get a moment of peace?! Yes what is it?"

The person makes a collection of muffled yells again and making wild hand gestures

"...Wait really...?"

They frantically nod

"WELL MOBILISE EVERYTHING THEN! HIGH ALERT! BLACK VOID MODE!"

Vernard pulls out something that looks like a detonator and presses the button before shoving the man who came in the bar back out while switching to yelling muffled noises at him, after the commotion dies down he slowly walks back and collapses back into his stool, sighing

[The New European Order]

Having no-one to talk to Vernard picks up his drink, sipping from it before a person that looks near identical to him, helmet, gas mask and suit bursts into the bar making muffled yells and staggering towards Vernard

"Oh bloody hell can I not get a moment of peace?! Yes what is it?"

The person makes a collection of muffled yells again and making wild hand gestures

"...Wait really...?"

They frantically nod

"WELL MOBILISE EVERYTHING THEN! HIGH ALERT! BLACK VOID MODE!"

Vernard pulls out something that looks like a detonator and presses the button before shoving the man who came in the bar back out while switching to yelling muffled noises at him, after the commotion dies down he slowly walks back and collapses back into his stool, sighing

Smith, bemused, raises his eyebrows.

Smith: Care to explain?

[Wallenburg]

"An impressive piece of natural engineering here. Using heat to activate the properties of the rock, creating a dimensional link back to an identical assembly on your home planet, very clever." the Ambassador mused, examining the portal closely.

Paulson tentatively responds, "Well, actually--"

"But it shouldn't have anything to do with the time jump, that would be down to the temporal dissonance here, at WAHQ." He pondered this, examining the rest of the office. "And you said you closed the portal from this side, so it must have been your office at the..." Ambassador Pink retrieved his sonic device as he trailed off. "If you could hold still, Mr. Paulson..." He instructed, scanning the future ambassador. When complete, with a flick of the screwdriver, the room around them changed.

The walls darken immediately to a deep forest green, with dark wooden beams running throughout the structure of the office. Soldiers mill about, tending to injured Wallenburgians and moving the dead into an empty room. Cries of pain and shouts between soldiers and medics drown out everything else. In the chaos, the newcomers are hardly noticed.

"Dear Lord," gasps Ogenbond. "What the hell did you do, Pink?"

Paulson answers for him. "This is my time. The last order I gave to our troops was to return to the office to clear out any enemies and gather survivors. I knew it would be this bad but...I was hoping, somehow, that I was wrong."

He looked to the portal. The frame remained intact, although sprayed with blood. Soldiers had removed a panel from the left side of the portal frame and set it down. Tumbling out from the frame came rubber cables and a pair of metal control units. His officers had done as instructed. They had deactivated it entirely, and removed the power cells.

"Ambassador," Paulson asks Rupert, "what do you plan to do here? I'm afraid our resources are far more stretched here than back in Ambassador Ogenbond's time. And for previously explained reasons, I cannot activate that portal again. At least not until everyone is safe, stable, and removed from the office."

[New Vragoltinus]

Having no-one to talk to Vernard picks up his drink, sipping from it before a person that looks near identical to him, helmet, gas mask and suit bursts into the bar making muffled yells and staggering towards Vernard

"Oh bloody hell can I not get a moment of peace?! Yes what is it?"

The person makes a collection of muffled yells again and making wild hand gestures

"...Wait really...?"

They frantically nod

"WELL MOBILISE EVERYTHING THEN! HIGH ALERT! BLACK VOID MODE!"

Vernard pulls out something that looks like a detonator and presses the button before shoving the man who came in the bar back out while switching to yelling muffled noises at him, after the commotion dies down he slowly walks back and collapses back into his stool, sighing

Smith, bemused, raises his eyebrows.

Smith: Care to explain?

"O-oh, uh... Well recently there's been a group of "Terrorists" that follow the previous leader of my country who was a maniac... They haven't been much of a problem if I'm being honest, just I'm now freaking out because they got their hands on one of our ships, normally I wouldn't panic because they have no clue how to operate the weapons systems, but apparently the guy who stole it got the sparkling idea of starting to ram it into my shit! And I seriously don't want them wrecking my house I just got a 20 inch plasma screen TV put in and I swear if they break it I am going to string them up!"

"So yeah. In short, terrorists. Shit sucks man. Plus I'm not going to help because I want to finish my drink first."

Right after he says that he pulls an extendible pipe from his gas mask and puts it into the glass, drinking a strange brown and red, goopy, bubbling liquid

[The New European Order]

Smith, bemused, raises his eyebrows.

Smith: Care to explain?

"O-oh, uh... Well recently there's been a group of "Terrorists" that follow the previous leader of my country who was a maniac... They haven't been much of a problem if I'm being honest, just I'm now freaking out because they got their hands on one of our ships, normally I wouldn't panic because they have no clue how to operate the weapons systems, but apparently the guy who stole it got the sparkling idea of starting to ram it into my shit! And I seriously don't want them wrecking my house I just got a 20 inch plasma screen TV put in and I swear if they break it I am going to string them up!"

"So yeah. In short, terrorists. Shit sucks man. Plus I'm not going to help because I want to finish my drink first."

Right after he says that he pulls an extendible pipe from his gas mask and puts it into the glass, drinking a strange brown and red, goopy, bubbling liquid

Smith points his pen at Vernard, rubs his bleary, sleep-deprived eyes, and smiles.

Smith: Sounds right. I've heard the story a couple times. Your 20 inch plasma screen is the deciding factor in this matter? I've only heard that one a few times.

Smith extends his hand to shake.

Smith: I'm ambassador Jack Smith of the New European Order. Perhaps you've read any of my hilariously long strand of failed legislation?

He points over to Greene, who is asleep under a pile of proposals.

Smith: Oi! Greene! Get up! That's my assistant, Thomas Greene.

Greene lifts his head up slowly, smiles, and drops his head back on the stack of papers.

[United Massachusetts]

"Well, come on now, abortion?"

[Separatist Peoples]

"Well, come on now, abortion?"

"What's it matter to you?" Bell growls into his drink from the Bar. "Thats a piss-poor thing upon which to base an alliance."

[The New European Order]

"Well, come on now, abortion?"

"What's it matter to you?" Bell growls into his drink from the Bar. "Thats a piss-poor thing upon which to base an alliance."

Greene lifts his head up, and frowns

Greene: Tell that to modern politics... then maybe we could actually get something done.

[New Vragoltinus]

"O-oh, uh... Well recently there's been a group of "Terrorists" that follow the previous leader of my country who was a maniac... They haven't been much of a problem if I'm being honest, just I'm now freaking out because they got their hands on one of our ships, normally I wouldn't panic because they have no clue how to operate the weapons systems, but apparently the guy who stole it got the sparkling idea of starting to ram it into my shit! And I seriously don't want them wrecking my house I just got a 20 inch plasma screen TV put in and I swear if they break it I am going to string them up!"

"So yeah. In short, terrorists. Shit sucks man. Plus I'm not going to help because I want to finish my drink first."

Right after he says that he pulls an extendible pipe from his gas mask and puts it into the glass, drinking a strange brown and red, goopy, bubbling liquid

Smith points his pen at Vernard, rubs his bleary, sleep-deprived eyes, and smiles.

Smith: Sounds right. I've heard the story a couple times. Your 20 inch plasma screen is the deciding factor in this matter? I've only heard that one a few times.

Smith extends his hand to shake.

Smith: I'm ambassador Jack Smith of the New European Order. Perhaps you've read any of my hilariously long strand of failed legislation?

He points over to Greene, who is asleep under a pile of proposals.

Smith: Oi! Greene! Get up! That's my assistant, Thomas Greene.

Greene lifts his head up slowly, smiles, and drops his head back on the stack of papers.

"Well yes, also my drink storage, and a few other things. Also it's good to meet ya Mr Smith."

He shaked his hand, notably Vernard's hand was strangely extremely cold, and very thin like a skeleton's.

"I might've heard of you before, my memory isn't that great, good to meet you too Mr Greene."

[The New European Order]

Smith points his pen at Vernard, rubs his bleary, sleep-deprived eyes, and smiles.

Smith: Sounds right. I've heard the story a couple times. Your 20 inch plasma screen is the deciding factor in this matter? I've only heard that one a few times.

Smith extends his hand to shake.

Smith: I'm ambassador Jack Smith of the New European Order. Perhaps you've read any of my hilariously long strand of failed legislation?

He points over to Greene, who is asleep under a pile of proposals.

Smith: Oi! Greene! Get up! That's my assistant, Thomas Greene.

Greene lifts his head up slowly, smiles, and drops his head back on the stack of papers.

"Well yes, also my drink storage, and a few other things. Also it's good to meet ya Mr Smith."

He shaked his hand, notably Vernard's hand was strangely extremely cold, and very thin like a skeleton's.

"I might've heard of you before, my memory isn't that great, good to meet you too Mr Greene."

Smith: Probably not. What brings you here, anyway?

[Whovian Tardisia]

..."Ambassador," Paulson asks Rupert, "what do you plan to do here? I'm afraid our resources are far more stretched here than back in Ambassador Ogenbond's time. And for previously explained reasons, I cannot activate that portal again. At least not until everyone is safe, stable, and removed from the office."

Ambassador Pink stood amidst the screaming and the wounded, realizing that he was almost powerless to help. He thought, maybe, that he could do something, but he could feel it. The events that had caused this misery were fixed. There was nothing he could do. Absentmindedly, he scanned Ogenbond and flicked them back to the older office. As the screams of the future ceased, he turned to Paulson. "I'm afraid, Erik, that there isn't much that I can do to help your people. I'm sorry about that." He kicked over Ogenbond's waste paper basket in frustration, then continued. "But the least I can do is get you back to them. If I return you to the correct point in time, I can cancel out the temporal dissonance. Your time will stop overlapping ours, and the World Assembly of the future can help you recover. By then they might be able to find you a new place to settle, and keep Wallenburg going." He sighed, knowing that that this was the most likely scenario. But he straightened himself up, knowing at least that it should work. "Come back to the bar." Ambassador Pink said, holding open the office door. "This might cheer you up a little."

[The New European Order]

Smith: It is with a heavy heart, but a proud one, to announce that Thomas Greene, as of noon today, will no longer be my active assistant. He has been promoted by the NEO Senate, and commended by the NEOFREI Assembly. He will now take his place as the head of NEO-WA Interest Department as a lobbyist. He will go from proposal to proposal, attempting to sway superdelegates to his side, and to the side of his consituents. God bless him.

Smith steps off the soapbox that he had conveniently placed in the middle of the room, and sat back down on his barstool. Greene was still asleep on the pile of proposals.

Smith: GREENE! WAKE UP!

Greene lifts his head up

Greene: What?

Smith: I just made a rousing speech about your promotion-

Greene: Promotion!?

Smith: Ah, never mind.

[Dirty Americans]

John Henry pauses a moment form his beer as his tablet seems to buzz annoyingly (what's wrong, can't coal miners have tablets). He glances at the tablet to see he has email.
"dear John," the tablet began to speak in Mike Rowe's voice because it was set to use the voice recordings of the person who sent the email whenever possible, "I have good news and bad news."
John sighed.
"The good news," the tablet proclaimed in Mike's voice, adjusted "automatic reading of text, "is that the government has decided to invest fully in this world assembly thing."
John smiled.
"The bad news, for you at least, is that I have decided to invoke the 'Golgafrinchan Option.' I have sent the best and brightest of all our nation's talking head bureaucrats to help you navigate and manipulate the World Assembly for the betterment of whatever. Why just as they were packing their bags I managed to federalize the government to the local level. Our gain is ... well your loss."
John Sighed
"The delegation should be arriving any time now, fortunately it takes a while to get through airport security. It will be led by Bill Nye, the so called Science Guy. Trust me, the list gets worse from there. Remember your loss is our gain."
"Sincerely, sorry, Mike Rowe, President of Dirty Americans."

[New Vragoltinus]

"Well yes, also my drink storage, and a few other things. Also it's good to meet ya Mr Smith."

He shaked his hand, notably Vernard's hand was strangely extremely cold, and very thin like a skeleton's.

"I might've heard of you before, my memory isn't that great, good to meet you too Mr Greene."

Smith: Probably not. What brings you here, anyway?

"Well I came here to relax mostly I haven't been in my actual government buildings or my office in a few days, I don't really need to be at my government buildings or anywhere to do with my government to manage the country anyway, all potential issues or anything of note or bother are sent directly to my mind through wireless messaging networks." As he says this he taps the side of his head with a finger, each tap making a metalic clank

"Or as previously seen through a physical messenger, for more... urgent manners."

"But going back to wireless messages, I have a nice little interface where I just select little option buttons to solve issues as I wish. Then they're solved. I've actually been overlooking how progress goes on dealing with the terrorists I mentioned earlier through most of this conversation."

[The New European Order]

John Henry pauses a moment form his beer as his tablet seems to buzz annoyingly (what's wrong, can't coal miners have tablets). He glances at the tablet to see he has email.
"dear John," the tablet began to speak in Mike Rowe's voice because it was set to use the voice recordings of the person who sent the email whenever possible, "I have good news and bad news."
John sighed.
"The good news," the tablet proclaimed in Mike's voice, adjusted "automatic reading of text, "is that the government has decided to invest fully in this world assembly thing."
John smiled.
"The bad news, for you at least, is that I have decided to invoke the 'Golgafrinchan Option.' I have sent the best and brightest of all our nation's talking head bureaucrats to help you navigate and manipulate the World Assembly for the betterment of whatever. Why just as they were packing their bags I managed to federalize the government to the local level. Our gain is ... well your loss."
John Sighed
"The delegation should be arriving any time now, fortunately it takes a while to get through airport security. It will be led by Bill Nye, the so called Science Guy. Trust me, the list gets worse from there. Remember your loss is our gain."
"Sincerely, sorry, Mike Rowe, President of Dirty Americans."

Smith claps John on the shoulders

Smith: Outmatched by the science guy. Sorry, bud.

[Dirty Americans]

Smith: Outmatched by the science guy. Sorry, bud.

"Outmatched," John replies, "The idiot believes in global warming. He has no clue that plants need carbon dioxide in order to grow and that algae which can be a viable source of bio diesel is a plant. He keeps handing out Coca Cola bottles to polar bears and wonders why they are all dying out. The only thing worse would be ..."

SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING (old expression when I used to DM a lot of D&D games) a skinny man, a fat woman and a muscular woman enter the bar. After a moment of despair John puts on his best poker face.

"Bill, Rosie, Michelle," John proclaims, "fancy meeting you here."

"We have been officially assigned by President Mike Rowe to you in order to advise you on potential resolutions," Bill replied. "And perhaps we could write a nice global warming resolution or two."

"What an awful flight," Rosie replied. "Anyway, I'm here to write up some pro abortion resolutions and ..."

"The WA has the most lenient abortions requirements ever," John replied. "I don't think you can add to them."

"Well, perhaps we can write something about multiple genders ..."

"To hell with multiple genders," Michelle insisted. "We need to make sure all children everywhere eat a proper healthy diet. Think of the children!"

"In addition, where is the place where we condemn nations," Rosie asked. "That new leader of Retired Werepenguins constantly twits insults about me. We have to condemn them."

"I'm pretty sure it's against the rules for us to condemn another member of the Tzorsland Puppet Federation," John replied.

"We're puppets," Rosie replied in shock.

John sighed. Dirty American's gain was clearly going to be his and the entire World Assembly's loss.

[The New European Order]

Smith: Outmatched by the science guy. Sorry, bud.

"Outmatched," John replies, "The idiot believes in global warming. He has no clue that plants need carbon dioxide in order to grow and that algae which can be a viable source of bio diesel is a plant. He keeps handing out Coca Cola bottles to polar bears and wonders why they are all dying out. The only thing worse would be ..."

SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING (old expression when I used to DM a lot of D&D games) a skinny man, a fat woman and a muscular woman enter the bar. After a moment of despair John puts on his best poker face.

"Bill, Rosie, Michelle," John proclaims, "fancy meeting you here."

"We have been officially assigned by President Mike Rowe to you in order to advise you on potential resolutions," Bill replied. "And perhaps we could write a nice global warming resolution or two."

"What an awful flight," Rosie replied. "Anyway, I'm here to write up some pro abortion resolutions and ..."

"The WA has the most lenient abortions requirements ever," John replied. "I don't think you can add to them."

"Well, perhaps we can write something about multiple genders ..."

"To hell with multiple genders," Michelle insisted. "We need to make sure all children everywhere eat a proper healthy diet. Think of the children!"

"In addition, where is the place where we condemn nations," Rosie asked. "That new leader of Retired Werepenguins constantly twits insults about me. We have to condemn them."

"I'm pretty sure it's against the rules for us to condemn another member of the Tzorsland Puppet Federation," John replied.

"We're puppets," Rosie replied in shock.

John sighed. Dirty American's gain was clearly going to be his and the entire World Assembly's loss.

Smith winces at the mention of global warming.

Smith: I'll put your views on global warming behind me for now. Shouldn't stop our friendship, but I am morally obligated to disagree, John.

He turns to the "puppets"

Smith: You'll find that a lot here has been done already... A lot. It'll be a challenge to make a difference here. I suggest you stick around to learn the ropes... Just for a little while. Good to meet you all, though. Mr. Nye? Big fan!

[Dirty Americans]

He turns to the "puppets"

Smith: You'll find that a lot here has been done already... A lot. It'll be a challenge to make a difference here. I suggest you stick around to learn the ropes... Just for a little while. Good to meet you all, though. Mr. Nye? Big fan!

Bill: Well thank you. I ...
Rosie: Well isn't that typical of the male misogynist. A fan of the old white guy?
Michelle: I think we need to consider race here as well considering that I was recently considered the most admired woman in the galaxy.
Rosie: SECOND; Hillary came in first.
Michelle:That looser?

Seeing that they had completely turned their attention to each other and away John turns to Smith:

John: Disagree with me as much as you like. I prefer my friends to disagree with me; to challenge my assumptions. The last thing I want are yes men. Ironic, isn't it. I actually got what I wished for.

[Interest Offices of the NEO]

Greene springs up, and hurls his papers across the room, loosely aiming for Ambassador Smith

Greene: Eat it, Smith! I'm free! I'm out! I'm the head of my own department now!

He pauses, and then runs to pick up the papers, his face turning beet red.

Greene: I'm sorry... That was immature. You've been amazing, Jack. I must bid you farewell as your assistant, even though our offices are only a couple rooms apart... I'll be here often though, with my assistant Dean Winters! Where is Winters anyway?

Winters, a scrawny kid barely eighteen, stumbled through the door with a stack of papers.

Winters: Here is a buncha' papers for you to sign, straight from President Gonzalez, sir!

Greene gives off an agonized sigh.

Greene: It doesn't stop... It just doesn't stop...

Greene takes the papers from Winters, throws them down on the table, and collapses onto the barstool. He falls asleep instantly, and his head sags into his paperwork.

[The New European Order]

He turns to the "puppets"

Smith: You'll find that a lot here has been done already... A lot. It'll be a challenge to make a difference here. I suggest you stick around to learn the ropes... Just for a little while. Good to meet you all, though. Mr. Nye? Big fan!

Bill: Well thank you. I ...
Rosie: Well isn't that typical of the male misogynist. A fan of the old white guy?
Michelle: I think we need to consider race here as well considering that I was recently considered the most admired woman in the galaxy.
Rosie: SECOND; Hillary came in first.
Michelle:That looser?

Seeing that they had completely turned their attention to each other and away John turns to Smith:

John: Disagree with me as much as you like. I prefer my friends to disagree with me; to challenge my assumptions. The last thing I want are yes men. Ironic, isn't it. I actually got what I wished for.

Smith: Well... I mean... It's good to see all of you, but considering Mr. Nye was the better part of my childhood... Never mind. John, I'm glad you understand. I think we're going to be friends.

*snip*

Smith looks over at Greene, and then down at the papers and nods. He waves, and sits back down, turning towards the bartender.

Smith: What's the strongest thing you got?

He turns to the open bar.

Smith: ANYONE GOT AN ASSISTANT THEY DON'T NEED?

[Herby]

Herby slowly rolls into the bar.

Yo Neville. Need a pick me up, badly. Fill me up with some E85 and ehhhh some nitrogen in the front left. And wipe that jolly smile off your face, the holidays are fucking over ya know.

[Dirty Americans]

Yo Neville. Need a pick me up, badly. Fill me up with some E85 and ehhhh some nitrogen in the front left. And wipe that jolly smile off your face, the holidays are fucking over ya know.

"Holidays can be a exhausting time," John Henry says nursing his beer. "If you are feeling sluggish lately, might I suggest an engine flush? I know it's somewhat a dirty topic, but I'm from Dirty Americans and we don't mind getting a little dirty."

[The New European Order]

Herby slowly rolls into the bar.

Yo Neville. Need a pick me up, badly. Fill me up with some E85 and ehhhh some nitrogen in the front left. And wipe that jolly smile off your face, the holidays are fucking over ya know.

Smith: Talking car. Yep.

[WA Kitty Kops]

Herby slowly rolls into the bar.

Yo Neville. Need a pick me up, badly. Fill me up with some E85 and ehhhh some nitrogen in the front left. And wipe that jolly smile off your face, the holidays are fucking over ya know.

A half-grown black cat hopped up onto the car's hood. "Hey Rumbly Car! How's you been?"