The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[The New European Order]

"Alas, sitting at the desk with an ample supply of strong coffee until all of the paperwork has been stamped, signed, and filed properly. As I said, not nearly as fun as the Araraukarian method. I doubt the Diplomatic Corps would much appreciate me taking a flamethrower to the piles of paperwork though, no matter how much I'd enjoy it some days."
Gunther pauses
"Say, Janis, you wouldn't happen to need any help chasing down some rogue paperwork would you?"

"Oh dear." Greene said, looking over at Smith. "That's how we do it, yeah?"

"That's how you do it... I tend to send all of my paperwork too complicated for my tastes to you, Thomas..."

"Is that why- Well..." Greene said, before sighing, and putting his head in his hands.

"Oh, by the way... I sent you this week's tax submissions. Over 143,000,000 forms waiting for your stamp, kid."

Greene sighed, before taking a drink.

[Valorem]

"Do you not have computers to help process the more menial forms like that? Seems like it would be a worthwhile investment, if 143 million forms have to pass over the desk of a single person in a day."

[Araraukar]

"Alas, sitting at the desk with an ample supply of strong coffee until all of the paperwork has been stamped, signed, and filed properly. As I said, not nearly as fun as the Araraukarian method. I doubt the Diplomatic Corps would much appreciate me taking a flamethrower to the piles of paperwork though, no matter how much I'd enjoy it some days."
Gunther pauses
"Say, Janis, you wouldn't happen to need any help chasing down some rogue paperwork would you?"

"Nah, it's not an Araraukarian method," Janis said, receiving a moist rag from one of Neville's assistant bartenders, and started to wipe her face clean with it. She did take the precaution of sniffing it first to make sure it hadn't been moistened in something other than water. You never knew in the Bar. "Back home, my flamethrower would be classified as a military weapon, taken away and destroyed, and I'd be fined. Hard. Probably "half my annual income"-hard. But as long as I don't take it out of this place, I'm fine. There's no law saying what Araraukarians can or can't possess when they're not on Earth. And we don't have self-mobile paperwork back home either. Nor aliens like you. If I took you home, they'd probably have you trussed up and ready for probing before you had learned how to say "good day" in Araraukarian," she explained with a grin.

[Valorem]

"on Earth."
"Nor aliens like you."

Oy, these alternate realities are confusing. Valorem's on Earth too.

"Nor aliens like you. If I took you home, they'd probably have you trussed up and ready for probing before you had learned how to say "good day" in Araraukarian," she explained with a grin.

"So you probe humans from other countries and/or realities just for fun then?"

[Wallenburg]

Gerald, sitting quietly behind the pages of the Daily Prophet, does not notice Ogenbond enter the bar. Mikael, uninterested in Gerald's casual reading, grabs the paper from his hands and tosses it onto the nearest table.

"Gerald, you are aware of my upcoming vacation, are you not?" asks Ogenbond, his tone of voice demanding a prompt answer.

Somewhat surprised, Gerald responds, "Well, yes, of course."

"Good. I need you back at the office immediately to brief the staff on changes in operations while I am gone. That includes any relevant information about my replacement. She's already arrived and is setting up shop in the spare office."

"Certainly, sir. May I ask why you are in such a bad mood?"

Ogenbond manages a frustrated laugh, barely distinguishable from an angry shout. "Why am I in a bad mood? Maybe it's the thousands of CRUs of property that the damned paperwork just destroyed. Maybe it's the thousands more CRUs in property damage that our good friend Janis caused in eliminating that thing. Maybe it's the complete collapse of everything that is good and just in this chamber. Honestly, Gerald, we may as well be dealing with yet another Securi--"

Realizing his error, Ogenbond cuts himself off before he can utter the forbidden words. "If we don't tread carefully, there will be hell to pay back in Independence. I've received telegrams from several legislators already, demanding I do something about these developments. If we lose delegates, we lose funding, and if we lose funding we lose more delegates."

Gerald places his hand on Ogenbond's shoulder. "Shh, calm down, sir. The National Assembly would not dare remove us from this foothold. Besides, I've been here longer than you have. These things come and go. There is a hilltop past whatever valley you may fear."

Still unconvinced, Ogenbond shakes his head. "Well, my replacement will understand that, if that is true. I just wish she had given me the same advice that you offer."

Two figures appear in the entryway to the bar. One man and one woman. The man wears a tan business suit and a gold necklace. Traces of silver line his dark hair. His eyes dart across the bar quickly, curiously, taking in every last detail. "Fascinating, absolutely fascinating! And you say that all the windows open onto the reflecting pool? Even those on opposite sides of the bar?"

"Indeed they do," the woman responds. She wears a tan shirt and green pants. While her skin has tanned considerably since she last entered the bar, Gerald recognizes her instantly.

"Helen?" he says, his expression of surprise melting into one of pure joy. "Helen, it's you!" He stands up quickly and scoops her up in a bear hug. Gerald's immediate reaction startles the man and startles Helen Trevanyika even more.

Helen laughs out of both surprise and mild embarrassment. Hugging Gerald back as best as she can, she looks up to his face. "Gerald, it's good to see you. Could you put me down? I'm here on professional business. I am substituting for Mr. Ogenbond while he is away."

"Indeed she is," affirms Mikael, still somewhat irritated. "Now, if you need me, I'll be in my office. I have to meet with a few colleagues to lay out the details of my vacation. I'm hoping that my companions and I will have a great time. I'll need it to distract myself from the hellstorm I'll have when I come back." Ogenbond bows slightly to Ms. Trevanyika, raising his right fist slightly above his chest. He bows likewise to the man in the tan suit, then leaves the bar.

[Valorem]

"Oh, hello. Didn't realize Ogenbond was leaving for a time. I don't believe we've met. I'm Stacy Gunther, ambassador from the Technocratic Republic of Valorem."

EDIT: In the time since I created this character I managed to forget her first name, despite it being in my signature.

[Araraukar]

"on Earth."
"Nor aliens like you."

Oy, these alternate realities are confusing. Valorem's on Earth too.

OOC: Not the same Earth Araraukar is on, I can assure you - unless you decided to re-do plate tectonics for last 70-80 million years as well, have two moons instead of one and managed to settle things without resorting to World Wars...

"Nor aliens like you. If I took you home, they'd probably have you trussed up and ready for probing before you had learned how to say "good day" in Araraukarian," she explained with a grin.

"So you probe humans from other countries and/or realities just for fun then?"

"You don't?" Janis asked, her grin widening. She wondered how long it would take the other woman to realize she wasn't entirely serious.

[Valorem]

"Araraukar certainly sounds like an... interesting place, then. Isn't such behavior technically illegal, as per WA #9?"

A discussion featuring a person who's essentially Amelia Bedelia and Janis should be interesting...

[Araraukar]

"Araraukar certainly sounds like an... interesting place, then. Isn't such behavior technically illegal, as per WA #9?"

"If Araraukar was in the WA, then maybe, though I think GA #240 would be a better fit for the violation..."

[The New European Order]

"Araraukar certainly sounds like an... interesting place, then. Isn't such behavior technically illegal, as per WA #9?"

"If Araraukar was in the WA, then maybe, though I think GA #240 would be a better fit for the violation..."

Smith scoffs. "I agree. Yes, only Araraukar's hivemind colony, Potted Plants United is obligated to follow the legislature of the World Assembly, if I'm correct?"

[The New European Order]

"Araraukar certainly sounds like an... interesting place, then. Isn't such behavior technically illegal, as per WA #9?"

"If Araraukar was in the WA, then maybe, though I think GA #240 would be a better fit for the violation..."

Smith scoffs. "I agree. Yes, only Araraukar's hivemind colony, Potted Plants United is obligated to follow the legislature of the World Assembly, if I'm correct?"

[Covenstone]

"The time distortion field got out!" Albertine yells, running out of the bar as fast as she can.

[Calladan]

"The time distortion field got out!" Albertine yells, running out of the bar as fast as she can.

"The time distortion field got out!" Albertine yells, running out of the bar as fast as she can.

Tara watches her go, then blinks.

"Well... that was unusual"

[Whovian Tardisia]

"Helen?" he says, his expression of surprise melting into one of pure joy. "Helen, it's you!" He stands up quickly and scoops her up in a bear hug. Gerald's immediate reaction startles the man and startles Helen Trevanyika even more.

Ambassador Pink, spinning on his stool to watch the Wallenburgian drama unfold, drops his glass as he realizes the identitity of the woman who has just entered. He is snapped out of his shock as the glass hits the ground, becoming a pile of sugar in the process. "Blast." He comments, looking down at the mess. "Terribly sorry Neville." He gives the cash register a quick transmission, depositing a few extra Credits to pay for the damage. Before he can as much as begin walking to greet Ms. Trevanyika, he hears and sees Ms. McGill's actions and voice loop.

Tara watches her go, then blinks.

"Well... that was unusual"

Tara watches her go, then blinks.

"Well... that was unusual"

"Oh, here we go. Give me a minute." Pink mumbles, entering the Police Box in the corner of the Bar, only to find himself attempting to exit. "Sod it, it hasn't worked." said the other version of Pink. The original Pink sighed, shoved his duplicate out of the way, and began fiddling with his ship's console. The duplicate walked up to Helen. "Hello, terribly sorry about the circumstances. How have things been?" Before he could get an answer, he vanished from existence. "Got it!" cried the original Pink, slamming the door to the box shut and walking up to Helen. "Hello, terribly sorry about the circumstances. How have things been?"

[Wallenburg]

"Oh, hello. Didn't realize Ogenbond was leaving for a time. I don't believe we've met. I'm Stephanie Gunther, ambassador from the Technocratic Republic of Valorem."

"Ah, hello, Ms. Gunther," responds Trevanyika. "I am Helen Trevanyika, formerly Chief Representative of Wallenburg to the World Assembly. I will be serving as acting chief representative while Mr. Ogenbond is away. It is good to see that new faces have joined our ranks since I was last here."

Ambassador Pink, spinning on his stool to watch the Wallenburgian drama unfold, drops his glass as he realizes the identitity of the woman who has just entered. He is snapped out of his shock as the glass hits the ground, becoming a pile of sugar in the process. "Blast." He comments, looking down at the mess. "Terribly sorry Neville." He gives the cash register a quick transmission, depositing a few extra Credits to pay for the damage. Before he can as much as begin walking to greet Ms. Trevanyika, he hears and sees Ms. McGill's actions and voice loop.

Tara watches her go, then blinks.

"Well... that was unusual"

Tara watches her go, then blinks.

"Well... that was unusual"

"Oh, here we go. Give me a minute." Pink mumbles, entering the Police Box in the corner of the Bar, only to find himself attempting to exit. "Sod it, it hasn't worked." said the other version of Pink. The original Pink sighed, shoved his duplicate out of the way, and began fiddling with his ship's console. The duplicate walked up to Helen. "Hello, terribly sorry about the circumstances. How have things been?" Before he could get an answer, he vanished from existence. "Got it!" cried the original Pink, slamming the door to the box shut and walking up to Helen. "Hello, terribly sorry about the circumstances. How have things been?"

IC: Helen stifles a laugh. "Certainly better than it seems things have been here, if temporal anomalies have become regular in the bar. I have been in Independence, working with the Cabinet of War to eliminate insurrections in West Wallenburg. We've reduced terrorist attacks by over thirty percent over the last four months. It is good to see you again, Ambassador Pink. I've missed some of my colleagues in my absence. How have you been, Rupert? How about you, Janis?"

OOC: Haha! Very clever.

[The New European Order]

Smith clutches his temples, as Greene throws up behind him.

"That was confusing..." Smith started, and then looked at Greene. "Get a hold of yourself, kid!"

[Araraukar]

Smith scoffs. "I agree. Yes, only Araraukar's hivemind colony, Potted Plants United is obligated to follow the legislature of the World Assembly, if I'm correct?"

"The what does what now?" Janis said, completely confused. "Araraukar is officially allied with Potted Plants United, if that's what you mean, and there is a "colony" of the smart plants on Araraukarian soil, where they cultivate orchards of rare, endangered plants, as contracted by my government, but other than that you've lost me."

OOC: In IC Araraukar and PPU and completely separate entities, other than Araraukarian government paying the PPU hivemind to cultivate and multiply endangered plants so that they could be restored to their natural habitats in the places where they had died out before the current pro-environment mentality got to power. Araraukar is a human nation. PPU is a plant hivemind.

"How about you, Janis?"

Back in her normal clothes and now entirely miraculously clean of soot¹, the Araraukarian ambassador grinned and lifted her new mug of cocoa in greeting. "Toying with Ogenbond as usual. Although he did arrange an entertaining diversion from normal. Mind you, I never discovered if we saved or avenged an aide of yours..."

¹OOC: No, she didn't exit and re-enter the bar, nor has she changed clothes while you were watching. This is one of the "WAHQ magic" things; you turn your head for a moment or blink, and reality has readjusted itself. I don't do them often, just when Janis's flamethrower is involved.

[Whovian Tardisia]

"Certainly better than it seems things have been here, if temporal anomalies have become regular in the bar. I have been in Independence, working with the Cabinet of War to eliminate insurrections in West Wallenburg. We've reduced terrorist attacks by over thirty percent over the last four months. It is good to see you again, Ambassador Pink. I've missed some of my colleagues in my absence. How have you been, Rupert?"

"Well, The Snakepit has certainly changed a fair bit in your absence. Thankfully, the anomalies are not exactly normal. Bothersome, but easily fixed with proper equipment." Pink replies, nodding to the box. "Ben's gotten a promotion. He spends a bit more time in the new section now." He continues, nodding to the fancy door to the VIP room. "As for me, I've got a proposal on the go. Stifled a bit at the moment, but you know what Ambassador Nameless can be like sometimes... Do you, actually? I'm not sure if you were around when his delegation came in." He leans on the nearest table pondering this. Leaping up suddenly, he adds; "Oh, and watch out for Fairburn. He can be a bit cumbersome. A very graceful diver, though." He winks, gesturing to a nearby window.

OOC: Haha! Very clever.

Thank you! I would have made it more timey wimey, but I was already having trouble wrapping my head around it.

¹OOC: No, she didn't exit and re-enter the bar, nor has she changed clothes while you were watching. This is one of the "WAHQ magic" things; you turn your head for a moment or blink, and reality has readjusted itself. I don't do them often, just when Janis's flamethrower is involved.

Blame it on the time distortion field going out.

[Araraukar]

Blame it on the time distortion field going out.

OOC: Nah, it's always been the case with the flamethrower. It comes out of nowhere and vanishes into thin air as needed. Interestingly, Janis first got it (don't ask me where) to torch PPU's pre-sapient form after it had eaten one of her aides. Her other aides had by then realized that the plants had achieved sapiency, and prevented her from committing murder.

"So anyway, Helen, what have you been up to besides work? Found a young man to rub noses with yet?"

[Covenstone]

"The time distortion field got out!" Albertine says, then smirks, "just kidding."

She walks over to the bar, orders a lemon and lime milk-shake, then sits down.

"So, my theory about Mr Burke and evil vs good is either that he knew a lot more about entropy than you would've thought, and so was using evil for a metaphor for entropy, or that he was just speaking metaphorically to begin with." She pauses, then takes a drink before carrying on, "that evil will definitely triumph if you sit around drinking milk-shake, but that you have a chance of stopping it if you get up and try to stop it." She pulls a book out of her pocket, and puts it on the bar.

"Of course, there are some people who think he never said it, making this entire debate a tad pointless." She looks at her glass "MILK-SHAKES FOR EVERYONE!"

[Valorem]

She looks at her glass "MILK-SHAKES FOR EVERYONE!"

"That seems like about the fastest way possible to destroy your nation's economy. Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, it's an awfully nice gesture of course."

[Covenstone]

She looks at her glass "MILK-SHAKES FOR EVERYONE!"

"That seems like about the fastest way possible to destroy your nation's economy. Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, it's an awfully nice gesture of course."

"By everyone I meant everyone in the bar at the time, which according to the list of patrons was about four people," Albertine giggles, "and while my nation is on the verge of being bankrupt, I think we can afford four milk-shakes."

[The New European Order]

"That seems like about the fastest way possible to destroy your nation's economy. Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, it's an awfully nice gesture of course."

"By everyone I meant everyone in the bar at the time, which according to the list of patrons was about four people," Albertine giggles, "and while my nation is on the verge of being bankrupt, I think we can afford four milk-shakes."

"Six, counting us, mate!" Smith said, gesturing to Greene, who was still being sick on the floor.

"Five, counting me, mate!"

[Araraukar]

"By everyone I meant everyone in the bar at the time, which according to the list of patrons was about four people,"

OOC: There's also SoG's Harold and Fairburn, the WA cats, Wallenburg's three (or four, depending on if Ogenbond already buggered off), EP's Blackbourne and various others. The "who's here" isn't same as "who's posted here within the last 24 RL hours".

[Skylus]

And will be until my actual delegates come back....