The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Tinfect]

[Leafsnake]

Markhov catches the Leafsnake's initial movement, and watches it as it moves to its final position. He is about to continue writing when he notices it start changing color, at which point he returns to his stack of forms, crumples the half-finished one into a ball, throws it away, and begins anew.

[Valorem]

Stephenson: "Well, my communicator is no longer buzzing every 10 seconds about the zombie apocalypse going on back in Valorem, and it seems our scientists have actually discovered a cure for it and deployed it to the region. It's always nice to have at least one advanced research laboratory in every city in your country."

[Whovian Tardisia]

Pink feels a buzz in his pocket. He pulls out a flip phone and answers it. "Hello? Zombies? That's ridiculous. Seriously? And risk getting infected? In Time's name, no! Good day sir!" Pink angrily hangs up and turns to Stephenson. "Looks like you're not alone on the zombie front. They wanted me to go back and help, would you believe. Only a madman would-" He cuts himself off as he looks at the Police Box in the corner. He stands and walks over to it. His hand shaking, he unlocks the door and steps inside. "I won't be a moment." he calls out to the various occupants of the bar. The door shut, and the familiar grinding and wheezing begins as the box slowly disappears.

[Chinevion]

"SHIT, The zombies are coming, Board the windows lock the doors."

[Valorem]

"SHIT, The zombies are coming, Board the windows lock the doors."

Stephenson: "Bah, boarding the windows will just make it harder for Bell to defenestrate the zombies as they come in."

[Araraukar]

"SHIT, The zombies are coming, Board the windows lock the doors."

Stephenson: "Bah, boarding the windows will just make it harder for Bell to defenestrate the zombies as they come in."

"Plus the weapons nullifiers will keep any zombies shambling in from actually being troublesome," Janis pointed out.

[Excidium Planetis]

Stephenson: "Bah, boarding the windows will just make it harder for Bell to defenestrate the zombies as they come in."

"Plus the weapons nullifiers will keep any zombies shambling in from actually being troublesome," Janis pointed out.

"And there aren't any zombies here, anyways." Blackbourne points out.

[Sapient Candy]

"Plus the weapons nullifiers will keep any zombies shambling in from actually being troublesome," Janis pointed out.

"And there aren't any zombies here, anyways." Blackbourne points out.

Cracking sounds begin to come from Peppermint Butler, and a large green fissure breaks open down his back. His eyes widen and turn red. Turning to the ambassadors, he flashes a crooked smile.

"Braaaiiiinsss..."

[Excidium Planetis]

Cracking sounds begin to come from Peppermint Butler, and a large green fissure breaks open down his back. His eyes widen and turn red. Turning to the ambassadors, he flashes a crooked smile.

"Braaaiiiinsss..."

"Are you sapient?" Blackbourne asks the Peppermint, as he rises from his corner booth, setting down his pear soda. "You have only a few seconds to respond."

[Frustrated Franciscans]

Friar Tuck Ferguson enters the bar just as Brother Maynard finished his Guinness. "Brother Maynard," he proclaimed. "We have a problem of epic proportions! The people are going through the streets crying 'Braaaaaaaaaaaaaains.'"

"Oh course, Friar Tuck," Brother Maynard replied in a calm cool manner. "It's the week before the general elections. It's the constant call of the citizenry who object to all the mindless politicians on the ballot. Honestly, I wish one of them had a brain. Even a half a brain would be better."

"But the Zombies!"

"Do they vote?"

"I suppose."

"Well it's all good then. Our jobs are secure for another two years."

[WaRtArIa]

Friar Tuck Ferguson enters the bar just as Brother Maynard finished his Guinness. "Brother Maynard," he proclaimed. "We have a problem of epic proportions! The people are going through the streets crying 'Braaaaaaaaaaaaaains.'"

"Oh course, Friar Tuck," Brother Maynard replied in a calm cool manner. "It's the week before the general elections. It's the constant call of the citizenry who object to all the mindless politicians on the ballot. Honestly, I wish one of them had a brain. Even a half a brain would be better."

"But the Zombies!"

"Do they vote?"

"I suppose."

"Well it's all good then. Our jobs are secure for another two years."

Charles, twitching, stared at the group of strange friars. It seemed one of them was oblivious to the problem of enormous magnitude. "I suggest that you shoot all those zombies to death before you don't have a nation to speak of."

[Frustrated Franciscans]

Charles, twitching, stared at the group of strange friars. It seemed one of them was oblivious to the problem of enormous magnitude. "I suggest that you shoot all those zombies to death before you don't have a nation to speak of."

"Don't worry," Brother Maynard replied. "I have the Holy Hand grenade. Once everyone dies I'll throw it at one of the zombies and they will retroactively vanish from all space and time ... well until next year."

[Valorem]

"It seems the problem has ended across our entire region, with most of the deaths coming from our neighboring dictatorships that we could not convince to help us research a cure. They, instead, decided to execute anyone who looked remotely nonhuman. Really, the only thing that keeps them from attacking us is the orbital defense network as far as we can tell."

[Whovian Tardisia]

The Box reappears in the bar, making its usual noise, and Pink immediately bursts out. "NOPE. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE. NOPE!" He says as he quickly walks to the bar, plonks himself onto his stool, and picks up the scotch he left there, downing it all in one gulp. "We're screwed. Completely. Nothing to do but wait for the madness to end. It will. It always does." Pink does not sound all too sure, however, of what he is saying.

[Sapient Candy]

"Are you sapient?" Blackbourne asks the Peppermint, as he rises from his corner booth, setting down his pear soda. "You have only a few seconds to respond."

"Brrraaarrghh!!!!" shrieks the peppermint. He gets down on all fours and charges Blackbourne. "Brains!!!"

Peppermint Butler jumps, and rams Blackbourne head-first in his stomach. "Awuhgeewuhgeewuhgee!"

[Excidium Planetis]

"Are you sapient?" Blackbourne asks the Peppermint, as he rises from his corner booth, setting down his pear soda. "You have only a few seconds to respond."

"Brrraaarrghh!!!!" shrieks the peppermint. He gets down on all fours and charges Blackbourne. "Brains!!!"

Peppermint Butler jumps, and rams Blackbourne head-first in his stomach. "Awuhgeewuhgeewuhgee!"

Blackbourne staggers back as he doubles over under the blow. "I'll take that as a no..." He gasps as he struggles to reinflate his lungs. Blackbourne unholsters the rocket pistol from his side, and takes aim at the sugar-coated beast. After allowing time for the guidance systems to lock, he unloads all eight rounds in the magazine, intent on killing the creature. After all, the Weapons Nullifiers only protect sapients, or something, right?

[WaRtArIa]

Charles, twitching, stared at the group of strange friars. It seemed one of them was oblivious to the problem of enormous magnitude. "I suggest that you shoot all those zombies to death before you don't have a nation to speak of."

"Don't worry," Brother Maynard replied. "I have the Holy Hand grenade. Once everyone dies I'll throw it at one of the zombies and they will retroactively vanish from all space and time ... well until next year."

Charles looked more easy. "I see. I suppose it should be alright for you."

"Are you sapient?" Blackbourne asks the Peppermint, as he rises from his corner booth, setting down his pear soda. "You have only a few seconds to respond."

"Brrraaarrghh!!!!" shrieks the peppermint. He gets down on all fours and charges Blackbourne. "Brains!!!"

Peppermint Butler jumps, and rams Blackbourne head-first in his stomach. "Awuhgeewuhgeewuhgee!"

Charles looked a bit shocked, and drew his sword in case of attack.

[Araraukar]

Charles looked a bit shocked, and drew his sword in case of attack.

"Put that thing away, unless you want it to turn into paper or plastic foam," Janis adviced. "If something or someone is trying to attack a sapient creature with deadly force, or use a deadly method, the weapons nullifiers will, well, nullify the threat, usually by turning the deadly thing non-deadly. Bullets become confetti or water, edged weaponry becomes non-sharp, blunt instruments... Oooh, not sure I've seen a deadly blunt instrument attack attempt yet. I wonder if trying to bash someone in the head with one of the chairs would count...?"

[Whovian Tardisia]

"Put that thing away, unless you want it to turn into paper or plastic foam," Janis adviced. "If something or someone is trying to attack a sapient creature with deadly force, or use a deadly method, the weapons nullifiers will, well, nullify the threat, usually by turning the deadly thing non-deadly. Bullets become confetti or water, edged weaponry becomes non-sharp, blunt instruments... Oooh, not sure I've seen a deadly blunt instrument attack attempt yet. I wonder if trying to bash someone in the head with one of the chairs would count...?"

"I'm fairly sure it would." Pink replied, eyeing an empty chair not too far away from him. "Would you care to test that theory?"

[Chinevion]

Sure

[Araraukar]

"I'm fairly sure it would." Pink replied, eyeing an empty chair not too far away from him. "Would you care to test that theory?"

Janis showed her teeth in an expression that wasn't quite a grin. "I should warn you that I'm the reigning champion of our annual Office Melee and thus used to fighting dirty," she said. "Only swing a chair at me if you're willing to deal with the consequences."

Sure

"Oh, look, a volunteer to be de-brained."

[Sapient Candy]

Blackbourne staggers back as he doubles over under the blow. "I'll take that as a no..." He gasps as he struggles to reinflate his lungs. Blackbourne unholsters the rocket pistol from his side, and takes aim at the sugar-coated beast. After allowing time for the guidance systems to lock, he unloads all eight rounds in the magazine, intent on killing the creature. After all, the Weapons Nullifiers only protect sapients, or something, right?

Spontaneously, Peppermint Butler's eyes return to normal. The first rocket hits him and explodes in a ball of melted chocolate. The others explode soon after, and as the explosions send the peppermint falling out an open window, the bar is covered with a great mess of chocolate, sprinkles, and strawberry ice cream.

[Excidium Planetis]

Spontaneously, Peppermint Butler's eyes return to normal. The first rocket hits him and explodes in a ball of melted chocolate. The others explode soon after, and as the explosions send the peppermint falling out an open window, the bar is covered with a great mess of chocolate, sprinkles, and strawberry ice cream.

"How odd." Blackbourne comments, looking at the mess. "They don't normally explode."

He looks up at Charles. "You can sheathe your sword, Sir. The threat appears to be nullified." Blackbourne removes the empty magazine and places it next to his pear soda, pulling a fresh magazine from a pocket at his side. He snaps it in, holsters his weapon, and places the spent magazine in the pocket. He takes a seat again, and goes back to nursing his soda.

[Wallenburg]

The assorted sweets from the explosions splatter over Ambassador Paulson, covering half his face and much of his uniform.

"I fucking hate my job," groans Paulson, staying still at the bar counter.

[Skylus]

Terry merely glanced over at Paulson.
"This is somewhat normal is Skylus. Heck, we have free-roaming dinosaurs everywhere. In my eyes, this" He nodded towards the fiasco in the room, "is perfectly normal."