The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Wrapper]

Hmmm. So how do they break ties?

Ogenbond sighs. "They vote again. And again. And again."

ARI: Well, that's the silliest thing I've heard today. And I've been conversing with a methanoholic, a talking car, and a man who can't stop whipping out his vibrator or whatever the hell Pink's little toy is, so that really does say something, doesn't it?

[Wallenburg]

Ogenbond sighs. "They vote again. And again. And again."

ARI: Well, that's the silliest thing I've heard today. And I've been conversing with a methanoholic, a talking car, and a man who can't stop whipping out his vibrator or whatever the hell Pink's little toy is, so that really does say something, doesn't it?

Foudman shrugs. "That's democracy for ya."

"Well, not quite democracy, as the Council is not popularly elected," interjects Ogenbond.

"Bah, you know what I mean."

[Separatist Peoples]

"I'm usually still buzzed by then, so I can't really feel any pain if there is any. It's potent stuff."

Ehhh. I'd try some but ehhhh wellll alright, what could possibly go wrong? Neville, one of Benny's drinks, man.

So... which one stays? My chewing gum is on the rather goofy fellow in green. He's much more entertaining than the rather drab fellow in brown.

Eh I'll bet you five sticks of the green sticky stuff 'gainst a pint of 20W-50 that the dude in brown wins.

"Shit, I bet you'll like it. It'll clear out any water in your gastank."

Ogenbond sighs. "They vote again. And again. And again."

ARI: Well, that's the silliest thing I've heard today. And I've been conversing with a methanoholic, a talking car, and a man who can't stop whipping out his vibrator or whatever the hell Pink's little toy is, so that really does say something, doesn't it?

"Hey, I can quit anytime I want! Tomorrow, even! I just...y'know...don't want to."

[Herby]

"Shit, I bet you'll like it. It'll clear out any water in your gastank."

Ehhh let's find out. Bottoms up! Heh heh.

Herby opens a compartment next to his gas cap. Neville places the drink in the compartment, which closes. A gurgling noise is heard, then a very subdued belch. When Herby speaks, his voice is a little deeper, and has a trace of a fake British accent.

Oh my, what a glorious libation. A moment, a moment, a moment, I beg your pardon?

[Wrapper]

Oh my, what a glorious libation. A moment, a moment, a moment, I beg your pardon?

Ummm. Well now. I take it back, sirs, hearing Herby talk like this is far more silly. Herby, try saying, "Old lady! Old lady! Run for your lives!" No, seriously.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

"Shit, I bet you'll like it. It'll clear out any water in your gastank."

Ehhh let's find out. Bottoms up! Heh heh.

Herby opens a compartment next to his gas cap. Neville places the drink in the compartment, which closes. A gurgling noise is heard, then a very subdued belch. When Herby speaks, his voice is a little deeper, and has a trace of a fake British accent.

Oh my, what a glorious libation. A moment, a moment, a moment, I beg your pardon?

Ummm. Well now. I take it back, sirs, hearing Herby talk like this is far more silly. Herby, try saying, "Old lady! Old lady! Run for your lives!" No, seriously.

Steph raises an eyebrow and looks thoughtful.

"Hmm. Benjamin, you got any o' that moonshine in a precursor? Like, before they burn off the fusel oils and all the other crap that's toxic to humans? I wonder if he'd get a country twang!"

[Herby]

Oh my, what a glorious libation. A moment, a moment, a moment, I beg your pardon?

Ummm. Well now. I take it back, sirs, hearing Herby talk like this is far more silly. Herby, try saying, "Old lady! Old lady! Run for your lives!" No, seriously.

Pardon? Pardon? A moment. Oh dear, this is quite the absurdity. Very well. "Crone! Crone! Flee!" Oh, balderdash! Pardon? My dear sir, I do not feel very well at the moment.

"Hmm. Benjamin, you got any o' that moonshine in a precursor? Like, before they burn off the fusel oils and all the other crap that's toxic to humans? I wonder if he'd get a country twang!"

Silence, temptress! A moment, a moment, pardon? Jiminy Crickets, what has happened to me?

[Separatist Peoples]

"Hmm. Benjamin, you got any o' that moonshine in a precursor? Like, before they burn off the fusel oils and all the other crap that's toxic to humans? I wonder if he'd get a country twang!"

"Gravediggers? I think that might send Herby over the edge and then some...




"Lets do it."

[Herby]

"Hmm. Benjamin, you got any o' that moonshine in a precursor? Like, before they burn off the fusel oils and all the other crap that's toxic to humans? I wonder if he'd get a country twang!"

"Gravediggers? I think that might send Herby over the edge and then some...




"Lets do it."

Sir, do not play the imbecile with me or I shall be forced to pummel you. Oh mother of pearl! Who speaks in this manner? Very well, very well, very well. Neville, sir, let us try the aforementioned alternative.

[Ferret Civilization]

After a long while of doing positively nothing with his time, the WA was so dreadfully the same still. With a different topic filling its hall every time he seemed to check in on the different halls of the place. With the Bar supposedly refurbished, that was always a great place to blow time away. So he decided to once again and go see what the crazy situation this time was going on this time, not much, but it oddly brought about a lot to look forward too.

Instantly greeted by the odd odor of the place, one thing that they seemed not to be able to get rid of with all the different things that pass through and happen in this bar. Was it too much to expect that of a bar, probably, so he didn't let it bother him. Though he was surprised to see a lot of familiar individuals already in the bar, well they certainly get here quick.

"Well forget your troubles c'mon get happy
Ya better chase all your cares away."

He happily whispered to himself as he found an empty spot at the bar to see if he could catch up on what was taking place in the old setting of the newly remade bar. Ordering himself another glass of milk, something that he rather seemingly enjoyed a lot of the rather similar yet foreign stuff, He took took in the scene.

[Whovian Tardisia]

Hello, Herby. I see you've got a British accent now. I like British accents...
Pink almost jumps out of his skin. He's never heard a TARDIS talk before. He knew they had a conciseness, but this was absurd.
"Umm, sorry, um, miss? Are you all girls? May I ask... how you are-"
You disguised me as a sapient being, what did you expect, Rupert?
And for the second time this year, Pink fainted.

[Herby]

Hello, Herby. I see you've got a British accent now. I like British accents...
Pink almost jumps out of his skin. He's never heard a TARDIS talk before. He knew they had a conciseness, but this was absurd.
"Umm, sorry, um, miss? Are you all girls? May I ask... how you are-"
You disguised me as a sapient being, what did you expect, Rupert?
And for the second time this year, Pink fainted.

Pardon? That is. Excuse me. Neville, please, cancel my order, thank you sir. I beg your pardon, madam. Ambassador Number 53, from the nation of Herby. And whom am I addressing?

[Whovian Tardisia]

I am a Type 10 TARDIS. I have taken a form similar to yours. Only for Rupert there to prove a point. But I think, if I concentrate...
The Beetle/TARDIS rolled forwards about two feet. Well, the wheels certainly work. Ambassador 53, is it? Well, I am certainly glad to make your acquaintance, Ambassador. The TARDIS's headlights flickered. If K-9 could barf, he would have.

[Herby]

I am a Type 10 TARDIS. I have taken a form similar to yours. Only for Rupert there to prove a point. But I think, if I concentrate...
The Beetle/TARDIS rolled forwards about two feet. Well, the wheels certainly work. Ambassador 53, is it? Well, I am certainly glad to make your acquaintance, Ambassador. The TARDIS's headlights flickered. If K-9 could barf, he would have.

Very pleased to meet you as well. A moment. Pardon? Am I to understand you are in reality Ambassador Pink's blue police box?

[Imperium Anglorum]

Parsons enters the Bar, wearing a naval uniform¹. He asks Neville, 'I gave you a bottle of champagne for safekeeping some time ago. I need it'.

¹: Watched this again with one of my cousins. Seriously underrated film.

[Whovian Tardisia]

I am a Type 10 TARDIS. I have taken a form similar to yours. Only for Rupert there to prove a point. But I think, if I concentrate...
The Beetle/TARDIS rolled forwards about two feet. Well, the wheels certainly work. Ambassador 53, is it? Well, I am certainly glad to make your acquaintance, Ambassador. The TARDIS's headlights flickered. If K-9 could barf, he would have.

Very pleased to meet you as well. A moment. Pardon? Am I to understand you are in reality Ambassador Pink's blue police box?

Well, yes. But I have a chameleon circuit. I can change form to blend in with my surroundings. Rupert doesn't like to blend in though. Always wants to make a show of himself. So yes, I'm usually a police box. But I can be whatever you want.
K-9 casually rolled out of the bar. He did not want to witness this.

[Herby]

Very pleased to meet you as well. A moment. Pardon? Am I to understand you are in reality Ambassador Pink's blue police box?

Well, yes. But I have a chameleon circuit. I can change form to blend in with my surroundings. Rupert doesn't like to blend in though. Always wants to make a show of himself. So yes, I'm usually a police box. But I can be whatever you want.
K-9 casually rolled out of the bar. He did not want to witness this.

Well then. Pardon me for asking, and this is but a theoretical question, of course, but are you, if you were so desiring, capable of taking the form of a homo sapiens, perhaps that of a female, wearing a flattering Bavarian dirndl?

[Wrapper]

(Ahume, as if on cue, reenters the bar, and does a double-take as he hears Herby speak.)

Well, yes. But I have a chameleon circuit. I can change form to blend in with my surroundings. Rupert doesn't like to blend in though. Always wants to make a show of himself. So yes, I'm usually a police box. But I can be whatever you want.
K-9 casually rolled out of the bar. He did not want to witness this.

Well then. Pardon me for asking, and this is but a theoretical question, of course, but are you, if you were so desiring, capable of taking the form of a homo sapiens, perhaps that of a female, wearing a flattering Bavarian dirndl?

(Ahume, with no prompting from Ari, enters a search on his tablet.)

ARI: Oh don't bother, I've seen German beer bottles, I know what a dirndl is. What I am curious about is, if she can take a female form, will she still be larger on the inside than the outside?

AHUME: Oh really, Ari? You had to go there? Really?

ARI: What? .... Oh for cryin' out loud, Ahume, I wasn't thinking about her reproductive organs! Although, I must confess, I am now.

[Wallenburg]

Well then. Pardon me for asking, and this is but a theoretical question, of course, but are you, if you were so desiring, capable of taking the form of a homo sapiens, perhaps that of a female, wearing a flattering Bavarian dirndl?

The Wallenburgians hear this, with Foudman turning around and smiling excitedly at the Volkswagen. "Eh, Eastie? You might want to see this. I like where this is going."

"I'm not all that interested in facsimiles of homo sapiens females, Foudman. Their noses are too small and stubby."

Foudman shrugs. "I think they're kinda cute in that way. Makes 'em look all innocent."

[Separatist Peoples]

Parsons enters the Bar, wearing a naval uniform¹. He asks Neville, 'I gave you a bottle of champagne for safekeeping some time ago. I need it'.

¹: Watched this again with one of my cousins. Seriously underrated film.

"Parsons, weren't you an Army officer? A cavalry man? Colonel isn't a naval rank. What are you doing in naval duds?"

[Wrapper]

Well then. Pardon me for asking, and this is but a theoretical question, of course, but are you, if you were so desiring, capable of taking the form of a homo sapiens, perhaps that of a female, wearing a flattering Bavarian dirndl?

The Wallenburgians hear this, with Foudman turning around and smiling excitedly at the Volkswagen. "Eh, Eastie? You might want to see this. I like where this is going."

"I'm not all that interested in facsimiles of homo sapiens females, Foudman. Their noses are too small and stubby."

Foudman shrugs. "I think they're kinda cute in that way. Makes 'em look all innocent."

(Ari approaches the Wallenburgians.)

ARI: No no, you gentlemen are looking at it from the wrong perspective. See, Herby is known to us as a bit of a lout. Gruff exterior, speaking his mind, stuttering his waits wnd whats and ehhhhs. And then, one dose of methanol, and poof! Instant transformation of character! Like Doctor Jekyll, or The Nutty Professor. Oh, erm, you don't get such Tau'ri films in your nation, do you?

[Imperium Anglorum]

Parsons enters the Bar, wearing a naval uniform¹. He asks Neville, 'I gave you a bottle of champagne for safekeeping some time ago. I need it'.

¹: Watched this again with one of my cousins. Seriously underrated film.

"Parsons, weren't you an Army officer? A cavalry man? Colonel isn't a naval rank. What are you doing in naval duds?"

Parsons answers, 'Yes. But I was recalled home to appear at the dedication ceremony of one of our newest exploratory submarines. And since I'm part of the Cabinet, it also means I am technically a Lord of the Admiralty. Why? It's something to do with the fact that when it was put into commission, the Crown put it into the commission of the cabinet as a whole, so I get a free uniform'. He takes a drink out of his glass, expresses great confusion and continues, 'I have to say, the blues do look quite nice. Kakhis probably beat them at the margin though. Also, I was recently offered my post as Lord High Chancellor back if we win the next elections. I'm not entirely sure whether I should take it'.

[Wallenburg]

Foudman looks at Wad Ari with a blank expression of curiosity. "What is a film?"

Ogenbond exchanges an embarrassed look with Ari, limiting his response to, "No. We don't."

[Wrapper]

Foudman looks at Wad Ari with a blank expression of curiosity. "What is a film?"

ARI: Umm. So you have live television broadcasts in your nation... but not film? How strange.

[Wallenburg]

Foudman looks at Wad Ari with a blank expression of curiosity. "What is a film?"

ARI: Umm. So you have live television broadcasts in your nation... but not film? How strange.

Ogenbond chuckles. "Oh, no, this isn't our own nation's broadcast. This is a Neoswedish broadcast. I'd go into detail about the technological superiority of New Sweden and its capital in particular, but I'm far too--oh look, another vote for me!"