The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Araraukar]

ARI: Oh my. I'm terribly sorry, I was aiming for the, erm....

(He points to the incense stick in Ogenbond's pocket.)

Ogenbond looks down, again confused. He pulls the incense from his vest and examines it.

"What's this, and why does it smell funny?"

Janis was suddenly very engrossed with the contents of her binder, even though she knew most of the material in it by heart by now. Her ears were more than slightly pink, though.

[Separatist Peoples]

Bell enters the bar, talking animatedly to a member of the minotaur delegation.

"...and the ghastly thing dropped his severed head right on the bar and demanded the money. I know you're people have plenty of experience with ogres, so I-"

He immediately stops as he comes across a soaking Ogenbond on the floor.

There is a beat, then, "Ogenbond, I didn't know you were open to that kind of party or I'd have prevailed on one of the dignitaries from the Orion Belt the last time they invited me to a shindig on your behalf."

Looking to the minotaur as an aside, he added "Once you get past the green skin and lack of modesty, the dancing is quite diverting, you know."

[Wallenburg]

He immediately stops as he comes across a soaking Ogenbond on the floor.

There is a beat, then, "Ogenbond, I didn't know you were open to that kind of party or I'd have prevailed on one of the dignitaries from the Orion Belt the last time they invited me to a shindig on your behalf."

Ogenbond blinks slowly at Bell. "Who the hell is Orion?"

[Separatist Peoples]

He immediately stops as he comes across a soaking Ogenbond on the floor.

There is a beat, then, "Ogenbond, I didn't know you were open to that kind of party or I'd have prevailed on one of the dignitaries from the Orion Belt the last time they invited me to a shindig on your behalf."

Ogenbond blinks slowly at Bell. "Who the hell is Orion?"

"You know, Orion?? Big human trafficking problem? I was there to help convince my Orion counterpart to accede to the WA's standards on human rights."

Bell looked a little hopelessly at Ogenbond. "Perhaps after a cold shower and some hot tea? Not the Bar's tea, mind you..."

[Wallenburg]

"You know, Orion?? Big human trafficking problem? I was there to help convince my Orion counterpart to accede to the WA's standards on human rights."

Bell looked a little hopelessly at Ogenbond. "Perhaps after a cold shower and some hot tea? Not the Bar's tea, mind you..."

Ogenbond simply gives Bell a perplexed look. "Okay, Ambassador..." he says tiredly, beginning to slur his words.

A Wallenburgian aide walks in, carrying a briefcase in her right hand. She walks toward Ogenbond, but stops when she notices his nose. She looks at the other ambassadors and then back at Ogenbond.

"Don't worry, dear, I'm just a little disorientated..." he mumbles before approaching the aide. Frightened she sets the briefcase on the nearest table and runs out of the bar. Ogenbond then trips over his own feet and falls to the floor, again unconscious.

[Araraukar]

*snip*

More worried than amused now, Janis wasn't sure if she should be further involved or just make a break for it, before someone laid the blame on her. After some agonizing moments, she decided on the latter course of action, throwing a quick "Sorry, I need to go" to Ahume, grabbed her binder and satchel, and quickly exited the bar.

[Louisistan]

This time, it's Max who gets visibly uncomfortable. "There's... There's snakes in this place? Oh... Right. Because of the snakepit. I get it. Phew...." He relaxes again. Wolfgang decides to take a chance and see whether the cat has actually found out anything of interest for him: "Sooo... did you find out anything interesting lately?" He offers the cat another bite of meat.

"Also the actual snakes in the venta- vento- the air pipes, but they won't eat you either," the cat said and accepted Wolfgang's treat. "And yes I has, but does yous really want me to tell yous? Because I's been to your nation's office too, and someone else might ask me about yous."

"Right. Well... I see your point. Max, I feel like we've been sitting here forever. How about we move to the bar and get a drink?" - "Well that would seem like a good idea." Max turns to the cat "I guess we will see you around". He then makes an awkward gesture with his hand, not knowing whether to shake the cats paw or pet it. Max and Wolfgang get up and enter the main bar room, looking for two unoccupied adjacent barstools.

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

"Don't worry, dear, I'm just a little disorientated..." he mumbles before approaching the aide. Frightened she sets the briefcase on the nearest table and runs out of the bar. Ogenbond then trips over his own feet and falls to the floor, again unconscious.

(Ari grabs the seltzer bottle again, aims unsteadily... then hands the bottle to Bell.)

ARI: Here. Go ahead, your aim is so much better than mine.

More worried than amused now, Janis wasn't sure if she should be further involved or just make a break for it, before someone laid the blame on her. After some agonizing moments, she decided on the latter course of action, throwing a quick "Sorry, I need to go" to Ahume, grabbed her binder and satchel, and quickly exited the bar.

(Ahume snickers and shakes his head. He returns his attention to his tablet, frowns for a moment, then begins to compose a personal message to his spouses.)

[Separatist Peoples]

"Don't worry, dear, I'm just a little disorientated..." he mumbles before approaching the aide. Frightened she sets the briefcase on the nearest table and runs out of the bar. Ogenbond then trips over his own feet and falls to the floor, again unconscious.

(Ari grabs the seltzer bottle again, aims unsteadily... then hands the bottle to Bell.)

ARI: Here. Go ahead, your aim is so much better than mine.

"As soon as Steph and I can find a hallway with enough unoccupied offices, we're gonna test that theory," Bell said, taking exaggerated aim and squeezing off short bursts into the Wallenburgian's prone form.

"Anybody else want a shot?"

[WA Kitty Kops]

*snip*

"Thought she would never leave," the Chief Inshpekshuuner muttered to himself. "Hey rumbly car," he called to Herby, "I'll pay the bet now."

Jumping on the bar counter to avoid the water-sprayers who for some reason were using an unconscious ambassador for target practice, the cat made his way to where Ahume sat.

"I knows you is a good singer. I needs your help to set up the music things so I can sing. I has to, cause your female friend only had one humankitten. I had bet for two."

[Taigawa]

Neyla's projection was gone. Though the device allowing her to project her image was on and active, a message displayed that read simply thus:

>Connection Terminated.
>>>>Connection was terminated at 2200 hours by recieving node in sector 1-A in Therma 1 of the Thessian Ecumene.
>Termination request adknowledged by Forerunner ancilia of Armor unit 0987-B2
>>>Termination order relayed by LIA, defense ancilia of the warship Mantle's Judgement.

This meant only that Ambassador Rila was now the only representative the Ecumene had on site.

[Wallenburg]

(Ari grabs the seltzer bottle again, aims unsteadily... then hands the bottle to Bell.)

ARI: Here. Go ahead, your aim is so much better than mine.

"As soon as Steph and I can find a hallway with enough unoccupied offices, we're gonna test that theory," Bell said, taking exaggerated aim and squeezing off short bursts into the Wallenburgian's prone form.

"Anybody else want a shot?"

Gerald sighs and gets up. "Really, ambassadors? You're behaving like schoolchildren. This has gone on long enough."

He walks over to Ogenbond and picks him up carefully. "All right, sir, let's see what Jennifer can do about this." He carries him to the door and exits the bar.

[Whovian Tardisia]

Pink is once again started awake by a bizarre noise. Rather bleary, he lifts his head, looks down at his watch, and almost falls off his stool. "Well, I suppose I should have expected that. Got any Blue Horse, Neville? I have to stop nodding off like that." He then turns to see the soaked Wallenburgian being dragged out of the bar. "Oh dear. Glad that wasn't me." he added, rather quietly.

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

Gerald sighs and gets up. "Really, ambassadors? You're behaving like schoolchildren. This has gone on long enough."

ARI: Hey, I was trying to help, you can blame--

(He points in the direction of Ahume, and notices that Janis is no longer there.)

He walks over to Ogenbond and picks him up carefully. "All right, sir, let's see what Jennifer can do about this." He carries him to the door and exits the bar.

ARI: Spoil sport. So, Benjamin, who's your friend the centaur?

AHUME: (mumbles) Minotaur.

ARI: You mean there's a difference? Erm. Terribly sorry there, truth is I don't get out much nowadays, not since all that bullshit went down in-- OH, oh dear, no offense meant, it's, erm, just an expression.

Jumping on the bar counter to avoid the water-sprayers who for some reason were using an unconscious ambassador for target practice, the cat made his way to where Ahume sat.

AHUME: (startled at first, then relaxes) Oh. Hi, Chief.

"I knows you is a good singer. I needs your help to set up the music things so I can sing. I has to, cause your female friend only had one humankitten. I had bet for two."

AHUME: Well that was a poor bet. Although. Hmmm. I suppose a parthenogene could have twins. Identical twins, of course. But I've never heard of that happening, I'll have to look that up. Anyway, let's set you up before she gets back. (He nimbly hops onto the stage and places a stool in front of a mic, which he lowers to the right height. He turns on the karaoke machine.) Okay, name your tune, Chief.

[Cheyenne and Arapaho Systems]

Ambassador Standing Feather, accompanied by his grandson Black Eagle, returns to the bar after taking a long time to review the recent happenings of the World Assembly.

"This is very bad thing, Wa-toh-konk...if the Tribal Council sees these travesties, they may withdraw our application to the World Assembly. We can only hope these laws are improved quickly, or this will have been for naught," he said in Cheyenne.

Black Eagle scoffed and replied with something rude.

Wa-toh-konk, you do dishonor to your tribe with such disrespect! The South Rope people have worked hard for this recognition by the World Assembly. What it costs us in sovereignty is nothing to what we gain from membership. Mind your tongue, young one, or I shall send you back to the shuttle."

Reaching the bar and switching to Common, Standing Feather ordered a glass of white wine. For the anti-oxidants, of course.

He looked around, "Not much has changed in the intervening weeks, has it, Black Eagle? I think they may have redecorated, but the chaos is still here."

[Herby]

"Thought she would never leave," the Chief Inshpekshuuner muttered to himself. "Hey rumbly car," he called to Herby, "I'll pay the bet now."

Wait wait what? Oh sorry, dozed off a smidge there. Been tryin' this power saver mode, it's been sawwwweeeet, don' need as much time to juice up. Heh heh.

AHUME: Well that was a poor bet. Although. Hmmm. I suppose a parthenogene could have twins. Identical twins, of course. But I've never heard of that happening, I'll have to look that up. Anyway, let's set you up before she gets back. (He nimbly hops onto the stage and places a stool in front of a mic, which he lowers to the right height. He turns on the karaoke machine.) Okay, name your tune, Chief.

Ooh ooh please say Stray Cat Strut, please say Stray Cat Strut. I'm-a feline casanova HEY man that's that ehhhhh sorry I ehhhh I'll shut up and listen now.

He looked around, "Not much has changed in the intervening weeks, has it, Black Eagle? I think they may have redecorated, but the chaos is still here."

Shhh quiet, I won the bet cuz the ex-Wad had one baby and not two so now the cat hasta sing.

[Excidium Planetis]

"That looks like an excellent read, Ambassador. Markhov, I presume? I'll have to make a note to get myself a copy. Now, I don't mean to interrupt, but I'd like to have a word with you..."

Markhov, hearing Blackbourne, nods quickly, and closes his copy of An Excellent Read, which he promptly places in his coat. Rising from his seat, he turns to face Blackbourne, and responds,

"Ah, of course Ambassador, it is of no inconvenience. Of what did you wish to speak- Ah, first, let us perhaps move to a more private area of the Bar, unless this matter is not at risk of being overheard?"

"Ah, thinks always tend to get overheard around here, but let's remove to a quieter location, shall we?" Blackbourne replies.

When the two are in sufficiently discreet location, Blackbourne begins. "Forgive me that our government must go through these channels, but as neither the Imperium of Tinfect nor Excidium Planetis have foreign embassies, my government ordered me to engage with you as our sole means of diplomatic discussion. The universe is a dangerous place, Sir Markhov... some may say too dangerous for a fleet of nomads or a walled off civilization to thrive on their own. I have been instructed to inform you that my government seeks a mutual defense pact with the Imperium. As far as I know, there has been no armed conflict between our nations, and no reason that our nations should not adopt a mutual defense pact."

[WA Kitty Kops]

AHUME: Anyway, let's set you up before she gets back. (He nimbly hops onto the stage and places a stool in front of a mic, which he lowers to the right height. He turns on the karaoke machine.) Okay, name your tune, Chief.

The Chief Inshpekshuuner padded over to the stage and jumped on the stool. "You's unlikely to know the song. Is a ballad from Araraukar. Maybe machine knows? Is called "Norjalainen villapaita", but I has different words for it."

OOC: If anyone's interested in finding the song (which is of course a Finnish song) on Youtube, it's "Norjalainen villapaita" by Juice Leskinen.

[Demonos]

Suddenly the sky blackens and the wind howls
Thunder shakes the Bar and each glass begins to rattle
The din ends and the electricity shorts out.
The entrance bursts open and the air rushing in brings a smell of Death
A figure stands darkly outlined in the entry and all becomes silent
the electricity returns

Give me a classic gin martini with two olives, please. I am Lady Tenebrae the Lady Protector of Demonos. It seems I'll be here a while.

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

AHUME: Anyway, let's set you up before she gets back. (He nimbly hops onto the stage and places a stool in front of a mic, which he lowers to the right height. He turns on the karaoke machine.) Okay, name your tune, Chief.

The Chief Inshpekshuuner padded over to the stage and jumped on the stool. "You's unlikely to know the song. Is a ballad from Araraukar. Maybe machine knows? Is called "Norjalainen villapaita", but I has different words for it."

OOC: If anyone's interested in finding the song (which is of course a Finnish song) on Youtube, it's "Norjalainen villapaita" by Juice Leskinen.

AHUME: Norja... Norja... Hmmmm. Not finding it in the index. Hang on. (He grabs his tablet and taps away exitedly.) Araraukar. Norja... Norjalainen villapaita. Ah, got it! Oh, hang on, I need to strip the vocal tracks... and... upload it, to the karaoke server.... There! Okay, give me a second to reindex... and there you go! Ready when you are!

[Sierra Lyricalia]

(Ari grabs the seltzer bottle again, aims unsteadily... then hands the bottle to Bell.)

ARI: Here. Go ahead, your aim is so much better than mine.

"As soon as Steph and I can find a hallway with enough unoccupied offices, we're gonna test that theory," Bell said, taking exaggerated aim and squeezing off short bursts into the Wallenburgian's prone form.

"Anybody else want a shot?"

Suddenly the sky blackens and the wind howls
Thunder shakes the Bar and each glass begins to rattle
The din ends and the electricity shorts out.
The entrance bursts open and the air rushing in brings a smell of Death
A figure stands darkly outlined in the entry and all becomes silent
the electricity returns

Give me a classic gin martini with two olives, please. I am Lady Tenebrae the Lady Protector of Demonos. It seems I'll be here a while.

Steph squeezes by the dark-clad Lady Protector on her way back into the bar and grunts, "Sure, sure. Hell, put it on my tab if you'll just stop blockin' the damn doorway, huh?" She catches Neville's eye, points at the Demonosian representative and then at herself. "Enjoy."

Steph looks around the bar for a moment, then nods and walks at a brisk pace toward Bell and Ari as soon as she picks them out. As she moves, the strap of her satchel appears to be digging just a little bit harder into her shoulder than usual, padded by the black coat and the fatigues underneath.

"Benjamin!" She claps Bell on the side of the shoulder, and gives Ari a polite nod. "So I got a little tip off, from a source I trust, the 8th Floor Southeast Main Corridor - that's offices 61-90 - is gonna be closed for renovations, and they've moved everyone to temporary space in one of the sub-basements. Power's off except two conduits for lights and tools, and the crews'll be working just the day shift. Should make a perfect range, no?"

One of the bar staff lays down a napkin at Steph's elbow, and on top of it a full martini glass with a zig-zag stem, its two olives still rolling slightly around the glass on the bamboo-splinter sword stabbed through them. She looks up in surprise. "Hey, I didn't ord-" She stops abruptly and snorts a short laugh. "Sure I did. OK, that'll learn me to assume the barkeep's a mind-reader. What the hell." Steph picks up the glass and raises it in the Lady Protector's direction before taking a large gulp.

"Huh. Not bad. Anyway," she resumes, looking again at Bell and giving the satchel a couple of exaggeratedly large pats, "I'm ready whenever you are."

[Separatist Peoples]

"As soon as Steph and I can find a hallway with enough unoccupied offices, we're gonna test that theory," Bell said, taking exaggerated aim and squeezing off short bursts into the Wallenburgian's prone form.

"Anybody else want a shot?"

Suddenly the sky blackens and the wind howls
Thunder shakes the Bar and each glass begins to rattle
The din ends and the electricity shorts out.
The entrance bursts open and the air rushing in brings a smell of Death
A figure stands darkly outlined in the entry and all becomes silent
the electricity returns

Give me a classic gin martini with two olives, please. I am Lady Tenebrae the Lady Protector of Demonos. It seems I'll be here a while.

Steph squeezes by the dark-clad Lady Protector on her way back into the bar and grunts, "Sure, sure. Hell, put it on my tab if you'll just stop blockin' the damn doorway, huh?" She catches Neville's eye, points at the Demonosian representative and then at herself. "Enjoy."

Steph looks around the bar for a moment, then nods and walks at a brisk pace toward Bell and Ari as soon as she picks them out. As she moves, the strap of her satchel appears to be digging just a little bit harder into her shoulder than usual, padded by the black coat and the fatigues underneath.

"Benjamin!" She claps Bell on the side of the shoulder, and gives Ari a polite nod. "So I got a little tip off, from a source I trust, the 8th Floor Southeast Main Corridor - that's offices 61-90 - is gonna be closed for renovations, and they've moved everyone to temporary space in one of the sub-basements. Power's off except two conduits for lights and tools, and the crews'll be working just the day shift. Should make a perfect range, no?"

One of the bar staff lays down a napkin at Steph's elbow, and on top of it a full martini glass with a zig-zag stem, its two olives still rolling slightly around the glass on the bamboo-splinter sword stabbed through them. She looks up in surprise. "Hey, I didn't ord-" She stops abruptly and snorts a short laugh. "Sure I did. OK, that'll learn me to assume the barkeep's a mind-reader. What the hell." Steph picks up the glass and raises it in the Lady Protector's direction before taking a large gulp.

"Huh. Not bad. Anyway," she resumes, looking again at Bell and giving the satchel a couple of exaggeratedly large pats, "I'm ready whenever you are."

Bell's attention is immediately drawn away from the hubbub, soda-water dispenser quite forgotten. "An archery marksmanship contest, you say? And I suppose the terms of our wager?"

He eyes the satchel thoughtfully for a moment- just a short one- before leaping to his feet in anticipation.

"You're on, space cadet! Chuckie!"

The goat appears as if by magic, an expensive pocket silk peaking out of his mouth.

"Guard my spot."

The goat wanders off.

"Goddammit, Chuckie...Fuck it. I think I have a few copies of the Cyber Security Act kicking that I haven't used as tissue paper left over, we can use those as targets."

Stands up to join Steph, his grin barely contained on his face.

[Taigawa]

Le Snip

"And what is the Cyber Security Act? Is it one of those laws the empress thinks you force of primitives or is it one of those that were put in the graveyard and forgotten?"

[Separatist Peoples]

Le Snip

"And what is the Cyber Security Act? Is it one of those laws the empress thinks you force of primitives or is it one of those that were put in the graveyard and forgotten?"

Bell hands over a piece of crumpled paper. "Just a piece of appalling drafting, ambassador. Nothing likely to pass."

[Wallenburg]

Le Snip

"And what is the Cyber Security Act? Is it one of those laws the empress thinks you force of primitives or is it one of those that were put in the graveyard and forgotten?"

"We're looking to the latter. Luckily, existing legislation currently makes it illegal."