The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

(Ahume touches the leaves of the plant and sighs when he realizes it isn’t real. He then notices the cat at his leg. He raises an eyebrow. One of the Kitty Kops, perhaps? And did it just dart its eyes toward the ceiling? Ahume looks up and... oh yes, that odd looking greenery should not be growing up there. Hopefully that means, message delivered, Ahume thinks. He returns his gaze to the floor, then to the bartender. He raises a finger... but, again, Neville is already on top of things, as a small dish of cream is placed in front of Ahume. He nods in gratitude, and places it on the floor.)

"Ambasador, are you alright? You seem to be talking to an insentient plant."

AHUME: I’m not an ambass—

”...Hi Ahume...."

AHUME: (gives a half-wave to the unfamiliar ambassador) Hi, ummm—

..."Hey, Ahume's back!"....

AHUME: No no, I’m — Johan! Excuse me, folks.

"I wish I could say it was nice to see you here, Ahume," he said somewhat sadly, "but I am about to walk away from everything and everyone I've known so far. Well, almost everyone, if I'm allowed to bring our mutual friend along." He then showed Ahume a large seed that looked like a shiny black walnut. "If not, it doesn't mind."

AHUME: Oh, no, no, it should be fine, if it can exhibit any sentience it’s exempt from our agricultural protocols. In any case, everything we’ve already set up has been put in motion, the Bureau has already received and approved your paperwork. Oh, you’ll need this— (pulls out a small handbook from a trench coat pocket) —you’ll need to study that if you want to become a Wad. A “citizen”. (He pauses.) Oh, I saw Ari on my way here, I told him I was picking you up, and he said to say hi. Actually, he didn’t say “Hi,” he said, “Who?” But I’m reasonably sure he was joking.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

He continues in a much lower voice. "You understand I require a fairly comprehensive accounting before committing to anything. But if you're legit, I am your man."

Leo resumes a normal conversational tone. "Yes, poker is a game of cards - in my country, and certain... close neighbors, it is the card game. I had the devil's own time trying to play it in here the last time I made the attempt, but if you're keen I'll happily try again. Now, let's..."

He trails off as one of the bar staff sets a nice hot ceramic plate in front of him, bearing a large slab of omelet, several pieces of toast, and a small bowl of bright red strawberries and succulent green grapes.

"Apologies, sir - perhaps after breakfast? I am famished!"

“Can I join you in that?” asks Uwet even as he reaches down for his backpack. After rummaging around in it (which involved removing a small sewing kit and a large wrench, to make room for the search), he retrieves a small leather pouch, from which he draws a couple of small, stamped chips of aluminum. “Can I get one of those too?” he calls out to the closest waiter.

He then says in a quiet voice, matching Leo’s own, “I’m not sure what you mean by accounting. I have a small amount of funds-” At this he pats the leather pouch, before slipping it back in his backpack. “-and I can work. I spent the past 20 breaths in the City- and there, if you don’t work, you don’t eat. I can fight, if you need a soldier. I can take a pile of junk and turn it into something moderately useful, if you don’t. And I’m pretty strong for, you know, Cityfolk.”

Leo says loudly, "Yes, I quite recommend the western omelette. The ham herein is very well smoked, and they didn't skimp on the scallions nor the cheese. This is precisely what the doctor called for!" Rather quieter, he continues, "I seek no money from you, sir, only information. Who'll be coming for us if we spirit you away? Whose interests are we poking in the eye, and who's going to worry about you spilling their beans to authorities? Who'd you piss off, and most important, who'll they take it out on when they can't find you? We do enjoy noogie-ing bastards and charlatans, but we prefer to know whose head we're grabbing first. Capisce?"

Leo takes another large bite of eggs, and follows it up by draining the last of his beverage. "Ahhh. That was quite refreshing as well." He glances around to locate a server and orders a black iced coffee, "Enormous, please, the darkest roast you have. And if you've got goods on the right sort of bastard, well... I won't get your hopes up, but you might find yourself a quality of life improvement fairly soon after. But this is hardly the place for it. I'll remain here a while as I'd planned. When the halls fill up near the end of the workday, come find me in Debate Chamber 7-C - it's still listed as reserved for Ms. Chinmusic and there'll be no one else in there. Don't get followed."

He stretches, yawns, and takes a few chugs of the huge glass of coffee that just arrived. "I'll say the fruit is surprisingly fresh as well. I ought to break my fast in here more often. Perhaps biscuits and gravy come the weekend..."

[Araraukar]

"I wish I could say it was nice to see you here, Ahume," he said somewhat sadly, "but I am about to walk away from everything and everyone I've known so far. Well, almost everyone, if I'm allowed to bring our mutual friend along." He then showed Ahume a large seed that looked like a shiny black walnut. "If not, it doesn't mind."

AHUME: Oh, no, no, it should be fine, if it can exhibit any sentience it’s exempt from our agricultural protocols. In any case, everything we’ve already set up has been put in motion, the Bureau has already received and approved your paperwork. Oh, you’ll need this— (pulls out a small handbook from a trench coat pocket) —you’ll need to study that if you want to become a Wad. A “citizen”. (He pauses.) Oh, I saw Ari on my way here, I told him I was picking you up, and he said to say hi. Actually, he didn’t say “Hi,” he said, “Who?” But I’m reasonably sure he was joking.

Johan chuckled as he took the handbook. "Wad Ari's pretend forgetfulness is a legend all on its own. Even if it's hard to top his legendary exit... As for the plant," he went on, pocketing the seed, "it's going to need to grow a couple of leaves before it can communicate, even in writing, but can do that quite soon after sprouting, provided your assesment officials don't mind using a magnifying lense to see the writing." He then looked around the Bar. "Quite a few people seem to want to exchange a few words with you, so if you want to catch up with old friends, I don't mind waiting. I've said my goodbyes to those few who still cared about me being alive, so I can leave whenever. Janis promised that the official announcement about the withdrawal from the WA would get mired with red tape for an additional day or two."

[Ithania]

Amorita pauses just inside the door to gaze around, her rigid head jerks and scanning eyes more reminiscent of a crow than a human.

“Hmmm. Do we know this place? We think we might. Or is it that we will know? Or does another us know of it? No. We don't think so. Or do we?” She continues to quietly babble questions between tongue clicks and light taps of her only-nearly-impossible black heeled boots. Rapidly switching between nods and shakes of her head. Over and over until one wins.

She nods out a victorious grin. “Yes! Most definitely! Yes. We think we do. Or we will. Or mightn't have done. Entirely. Yes.”

Amorita claps giddily, crossing the room to a stool so quickly that her tightly swirling cloud of clothing Glamour leaves a scintillating air trail for a split second. Their attempts to hold the smoky illusion pushed beyond limits.

After a short thought to remember how seats work, she hops up and drapes her arms on the bar. Fingers tapping with excitement and soft lilac tones radiating from the tattoos she chose today.

“Hello. Yes. Neville, isn't it? Yes? Good. Well-done on being you. It can be hard to know, can't it? We would like,” a puzzled frown forms. “We aren't at all sure, not one bit. We think we haven't needed to drink in a long time. Or no time at all. Hmm. But we did enjoy it, didn't we? Using the sense that's part of the talking breathing parts. Taste! Yes. We would like that, please. We would like apricot tea with honey. And our new bowl would like… whatever bowls drink?”

A stereotypical fishbowl pops into existence on the bar next to her. A still serene goldfish slowly opening and closing its mouth.

While waiting for tea, Amorita can't help but examine herself in the bar mirror.

Her body. A body. A vessel with her in it, with boundaries and limits. She’s inside it. She is it.

It was something she was struggling to get used to again, especially with all the encoded and implanted capabilities. She'd thought the transition to having a body again would be smooth. She was used to having technology implanted, wasn't she? Except this was leagues beyond that last experience. A whole new paradigm. Alien. So she'd become certain she kept getting all the social conventions wrong and knows she can't quite remember how categorisation works here. The bowl is helping. Maybe. She knows something is different about the bowl but still can't remember why. Oh! Maybe it’s for drinking from? No… that feels wrong too.

Even with the assistance of her Extended Self (who had suggested the bowl) and Amalgam, she kept forgetting basic things. Organic brains were just so, so frustrating. A bottleneck. She'd forgotten that they don't think what you tell them to think. They’re so full of mess. Right now she's wondering how many times she could wiggle her toes in ten seconds, singing a mental song, wanting to put some kind of green round things in her mouth, and resisting intense laughter. Or tears. She isn't sure of the difference. A sign of just how bad the problem is. Or is it? Along with countless other transient nonsense thoughts. It's a mess.

She knows it will fade with time - very little time in a relative sense. She will remember, she will adapt. She had been this before and she would be again. She's here, now. She's also a hyperextended transcendent being with access to the limitless information of an evolved self that’s utterly alien to her in this form and she can also call upon the incredible resources of Amalgam. She could have dodged this by simply recreating her old self as she had been but that erased and denied so much. She's not that person. She changed and it felt like theft to cheat herself out of it.

An internal heart rate warning icon and notification of automated calming alerts her to building anxiety. Amorita had, annoyingly, missed the quickened breathing and surge within her body, again. Why are bodies so uncooperative?

Body. Her attention moves outwards, automatically dismissing the detailed analysis of the world around her to zoom in on the reflection. Just her in just visible light with her retinas at their most basic functionality. It's her. Her as she had been before causation had become so confused and, arguably, obsolete.

It also isn't her. This body uses her genetic and epigenetic details but has been encoded and implanted with capabilities that her past self couldn't comprehend. Terrifyingly, she now contained antimatter and exotic matter. To anyone else, she should look human. Mostly. The differences were surface layer, really. She could choose to manifest herself as anything… but to be so flamboyant is gauche. Like most that elect to use a body, she just changes her hair, skin tone, skin inclusions, and projected aura to match daily whims. It felt no different than picking out clothes. Cosmetic.

But it still feels ill-fitting. She'll adapt. There's only so much that can be done to smooth instinctive reactions when it's been so long without a body.

Amorita smiles brightly, at the appropriate moment for once, as her tea arrives, eagerly pouring to take a sip. “Thank you greatly. Oh! We do like this! We-I-We enjoy how cleansing it is. We are very grateful. Yes.”

Before she can relax into sipping at her tea, a miniscule glass of a fishy, earthy syrup is placed next to the bowl. “You did have something for it! Yes. We are most gratified. Thank you!”

With a slight hesitation to curiously jostle the contents around she tips the syrup, relaxing into a sigh as it blooms outwards in the water and the fish giddily chomps at the suspension. So it wasn't for the bowl? The bowl isn't consuming it. Or is it? Is the fish also the bowl, not just a decoration? No. The bowl is for the fish. Life support. It's a pet. Pets are a concept. Pets are companions to share with and protect. How could she forget something so essential, so obvious?

But you remember now. You remembered without instruction or intervention from myself or your Extended Self. We've all been away from physicality for so long and changed ourselves so much. Reversing that in an organic body, even for a fragment of yourself, is difficult.

The strong mental voice nearly makes Amorita yelp or loudly rattle the tea cup. Amalgam usually speaks upon being asked. Some part of her feels a sense of violation, despite knowing she requested this active support. Irrational.

She knows it's correct too. She will adjust. She will recover the self that existed before but on new terms. She will connect with herself and others. She must.

A slow, contented smile creeps on to her lips, only broken to take relaxed sips of tea. One hand absently stroking the fishbowl. “We-I-We-I are… am glad to have agreed to this return. It's worth it. So much to remember. And so much to cherish.”

[Sorry for the length, wouldn't usually but exploration of the mental state and tech just kinda slipped out. It's helped as a primer for me and I hope it maybe gives a little insight in Ithania/Amorita for anyone that perhaps cares for some silly reason hehe]

[Tinfect]

[Sorry for the length, wouldn't usually but exploration of the mental state and tech just kinda slipped out. It's helped as a primer for me and I hope it maybe gives a little insight in Ithania/Amorita for anyone that perhaps cares for some silly reason hehe]

OOC:
Don't worry about it, as far as character introductions go, that's a hell of a fine one.

[Marxist Germany]

Ambassador Connor looks at the stack of papers next to his drink and remembers all the paperwork he has to do "Sorry Nev, gotta go get this stack of papers done, I'll be back soon however.." The door slowly closes behind him as he runs out dropping papers everywhere.

[Free China]

Rescind.

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

Johan chuckled as he took the handbook. "Wad Ari's pretend forgetfulness is a legend all on its own. Even if it's hard to top his legendary exit... As for the plant," he went on, pocketing the seed, "it's going to need to grow a couple of leaves before it can communicate, even in writing, but can do that quite soon after sprouting, provided your assesment officials don't mind using a magnifying lense to see the writing."

AHUME: Won't be necessary. Our point of entry is via The Nox homeworld, they are plant empaths and can detect sentience without explicit communication. From what I'm told, what they do is quite similar to a human doctor detecting a fetal heartbeat, but instead of ultrasonic waves they use a technology that, frankly, I don't understand.

He then looked around the Bar. "Quite a few people seem to want to exchange a few words with you, so if you want to catch up with old friends, I don't mind waiting. I've said my goodbyes to those few who still cared about me being alive, so I can leave whenever. Janis promised that the official announcement about the withdrawal from the WA would get mired with red tape for an additional day or two."

AHUME: Won't be necessary. I've already said my farewells here. Twice. Although.... (He eyes the karaoke stage.) If you'll indulge me, I know just the song, it's from a Tau'ri musical about one of their founding fathers.

(Ahume takes the stage, grabs a microphone, and sings a capella).

Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Let's have another round tonight
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Let's have another round tonight....

[Bears Armed]

(Ahume takes the stage, grabs a microphone, and sings a capella).

Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Let's have another round tonight
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Let's have another round tonight....

Several of the Bears are present, sitting together at a table near the bar. When Ahume finishes singing this they raise their tankards in a salute to him (and to the message in that song).
"Urrarh!"

[Valentine Z]

Jolyn walked up to the bartender and ordered a glass of wine. She would go for a hard liquor, or something stronger but she figured that this would not be a good time to be too drunk, not especially when she is alone in this bar full of strangers.

She was startled by the chants and shouts of the nearby table, so she figured that perhaps she could talk to them. After all, talking to them would be as good as many other, so why not start with them?

While waiting for her wine, she slowly approached the table and tried to start a conversation with them. She got herself some lavender-scent as of tonight, but not too strong of a perfume, lest it became too empowering for everyone involved.

Several of the Bears are present, sitting together at a table near the bar. When Ahume finishes singing this they raise their tankards in a salute to him (and to the message in that song).
"Urrarh!"

Ah, hello there! My name's Jolyn, and I was wondering if I can join you guys for tonight? I mean, last I checked, it's night. I'm new around here.
- Vice Foresittend Jolyn Maxine Caulfield Moira Marlene Wendy Lucille Lapis Jill “Неуловимый” Nvt. Zolina łnt. Natasha Vasilisa Helen Ceeta

[This City of Ours]

Leo says loudly, "Yes, I quite recommend the western omelette. The ham herein is very well smoked, and they didn't skimp on the scallions nor the cheese. This is precisely what the doctor called for!" Rather quieter, he continues, "I seek no money from you, sir, only information. Who'll be coming for us if we spirit you away? Whose interests are we poking in the eye, and who's going to worry about you spilling their beans to authorities? Who'd you piss off, and most important, who'll they take it out on when they can't find you? We do enjoy noogie-ing bastards and charlatans, but we prefer to know whose head we're grabbing first. Capisce?"

Leo takes another large bite of eggs, and follows it up by draining the last of his beverage. "Ahhh. That was quite refreshing as well." He glances around to locate a server and orders a black iced coffee, "Enormous, please, the darkest roast you have. And if you've got goods on the right sort of bastard, well... I won't get your hopes up, but you might find yourself a quality of life improvement fairly soon after. But this is hardly the place for it. I'll remain here a while as I'd planned. When the halls fill up near the end of the workday, come find me in Debate Chamber 7-C - it's still listed as reserved for Ms. Chinmusic and there'll be no one else in there. Don't get followed."

He stretches, yawns, and takes a few chugs of the huge glass of coffee that just arrived. "I'll say the fruit is surprisingly fresh as well. I ought to break my fast in here more often. Perhaps biscuits and gravy come the weekend..."

A waiter comes around and sets a plate down in front of Uwet. He was only vaguely familiar with most of the food on it; outlets in the City only occasionally deigned to work, and when they did were generally used for devices with more uses than toasters had, the fruits found in the Markets were usually either dried and packaged or immediately resold for far more than he could afford, but eggs? There were only so many ways to cook eggs.

“This is a treat,” he says in a normal voice, as he pops a grape in his mouth. “The food in the City is... well, it’s edible. But that’s all you can say for it.”

Quieter and between bites of omelette, he adds, “I spent 20 breaths as a soldier for the Morza, and he won’t be happy about losing a valuable employee. He might put the rest of his men on a shorter leash, and he’ll probably send someone to retrieve me, but a good neighborhood leader doesn’t lash out at his own people. I’m more worried about Khu Cua, to be honest- the Underground entrance I came through is in her neighborhood, and I broke into it to get here. She will be very unhappy, and so will the entire Sel family- they’re the ones who own the entrance. Especially Icumar, since he’s the one I locked in the storage room.”

Another waiter appears to collect Uwet’s already empty plate and leaves a mug of coffee in its place. Uwet gives it a sip, winces at the bitter taste, and starts choking it down anyway. “I have a few hours before they come after me. They’ll have to wait for streetdark to end, realize the Wheelhouse isn’t opening, get Icumar’s story, and gather a posse first. How long is it until the workday ends? And where is Debate Chamber 7-C?”

((OOC: Can it be safely assumed that the universal translators also translate writing?))

[Democratic Republic of Eiria]

William Lancaster walks in the door and over to the bar.
"Vodka. Three shots. Rough day". He said, sighing. "Husband got shot, gets sent to emergency surgery, and I pull a muscle from helping lift him. Ah, thank you". He says, drinking one of his shots.

[Wallenburg]

William Lancaster walks in the door and over to the bar.
"Vodka. Three shots. Rough day". He said, sighing. "Husband got shot, gets sent to emergency surgery, and I pull a muscle from helping lift him. Ah, thank you". He says, drinking one of his shots.

Jennifer raises her eyebrow. Turning to the newcomer, she inquires, "Awful! My hopes for his health. I wonder, how does someone manage to get shot on this campus? I know the gnomes can be slow to get around to such things, but haven't you installed weapons nullifiers in your office?"

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

A D-shaped robotic vacuum slips in the door behind another patron, deftly zig-zaging though a forest of feet, until it finds a relatively clear area of floor. It slowly turns around in place, using its top-mounted laser rangefinding sensor to generate a quick layout of the place. "Hmm, when was the last time anyone vacuumed in here?" it thinks to itself, quickly calculating the most efficient path through the sea of raytraced obstacles. "Wonder if they're hiring."

The appliance revs its deluxe corner combo brush to full power, and begins making its way across the floor and back, picking up any debris it might find, or any interesting conversation it might happen to overhear...

[Bears Armed]

Jolyn walked up to the bartender and ordered a glass of wine. She would go for a hard liquor, or something stronger but she figured that this would not be a good time to be too drunk, not especially when she is alone in this bar full of strangers.

She was startled by the chants and shouts of the nearby table, so she figured that perhaps she could talk to them. After all, talking to them would be as good as many other, so why not start with them?

While waiting for her wine, she slowly approached the table and tried to start a conversation with them. She got herself some lavender-scent as of tonight, but not too strong of a perfume, lest it became too empowering for everyone involved.

Several of the Bears are present, sitting together at a table near the bar. When Ahume finishes singing this they raise their tankards in a salute to him (and to the message in that song).
"Urrarh!"

Ah, hello there! My name's Jolyn, and I was wondering if I can join you guys for tonight? I mean, last I checked, it's night. I'm new around here.
- Vice Foresittend Jolyn Maxine Caulfield Moira Marlene Wendy Lucille Lapis Jill “Неуловимый” Nvt. Zolina łnt. Natasha Vasilisa Helen Ceeta

“Sure, of course, pull up a chair and be welcome… Ur’rmm, but not that chair, at the other end of this table, though: It might look empty, but in fact our friend Mary McWabbit from the Invisible Wabbits is taking a nap there…” says one of the Bears, a brown-furred female who’s wearing a smart-looking [sky-blue] jacket & skirt. “I’m Ursiosina RedRose — from the Free Sept of that Name, not from the ‘RedRoses’ who are a sept within Clan Redwood — and I’m here at the W-A as Commercial Attaché for Bears Armed Mission. These two_” (She waves a hand in the direction of the other bears sitting there, both of them male, one black-furred and the other with a reddish-brown pelt, and both of them casually dressed) “_ are two of our Apprentice Voices — Your people’s term might maybeso be something like ‘Diplomatic Cadets’? Petrurr Pettrursoriffh is from Clan Ostobora, and only arrived here a few days ago himself, having been assigned to help me with a project, but Hrrafe Redsmith — who’s from the ‘Redsmith’ Free Sept, of course — has been here for almost a year by now and is showing Pettrurr around.”

[Araraukar]

Johan chuckled as he took the handbook. "Wad Ari's pretend forgetfulness is a legend all on its own. Even if it's hard to top his legendary exit... As for the plant," he went on, pocketing the seed, "it's going to need to grow a couple of leaves before it can communicate, even in writing, but can do that quite soon after sprouting, provided your assesment officials don't mind using a magnifying lense to see the writing."

AHUME: Won't be necessary. Our point of entry is via The Nox homeworld, they are plant empaths and can detect sentience without explicit communication. From what I'm told, what they do is quite similar to a human doctor detecting a fetal heartbeat, but instead of ultrasonic waves they use a technology that, frankly, I don't understand.

He then looked around the Bar. "Quite a few people seem to want to exchange a few words with you, so if you want to catch up with old friends, I don't mind waiting. I've said my goodbyes to those few who still cared about me being alive, so I can leave whenever. Janis promised that the official announcement about the withdrawal from the WA would get mired with red tape for an additional day or two."

AHUME: Won't be necessary. I've already said my farewells here. Twice. Although.... (He eyes the karaoke stage.) If you'll indulge me, I know just the song, it's from a Tau'ri musical about one of their founding fathers.

(Ahume takes the stage, grabs a microphone, and sings a capella).

Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Let's have another round tonight
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Let's have another round tonight....

When Ahume came down from the stage, Johan said, "A rousing song. And perhaps appropriate. But to get back to our green friend, I don't think seeds even have metabolic functions, nevermind anything equivalent to a heartbeat. Do you think I should get a sprouted seedling instead?"

OOC: Also, I've always treated the hivemind as being entirely unreachable by any kind of telepathic/empathic/magical means. Not sure if that's what you meant.

[Marxist Germany]

A tall man with light brown hair and blue eyes enters the bar, he is wearing a grey suit on top of his white shirt and the blue tie.

"Hey, hello, I'm Klaus Schmidt, Connor... well... he got ran over last Thursday... So I'm his replacement."

He takes a seat on one of the stools next to the bartender table.

"I was told that some man named Neville runs this bar... I'd like half a litre of beer please, if you serve it.."

He pauses for a second and turns around to look at a group group of bears sitting at a table.

"Uhh.. is this normal here?"

[WA Kitty Kops]

He pauses for a second and turns around to look at a group group of bears sitting at a table.

"Uhh.. is this normal here?"

A black, half-grown cat pads past. "Yup. Growly-bears is nice and not growly. Unless you tries to take naps on them. They's not furry pillows."

[Marxist Germany]

He pauses for a second and turns around to look at a group group of bears sitting at a table.

"Uhh.. is this normal here?"

A black, half-grown cat pads past. "Yup. Growly-bears is nice and not growly. Unless you tries to take naps on them. They's not furry pillows."

"Alright then, I'll check any pillow before sitting on it."

[Maowi]

A black, half-grown cat pads past. "Yup. Growly-bears is nice and not growly. Unless you tries to take naps on them. They's not furry pillows."

"Alright then, I'll check any pillow before sitting on it."

Phil glances at Schmidt in confusion. 'I think you may need to visit an optician if you're confusing bears and pillows. But ... I'm more concerned about Connor ... is he - er - all right?'

The door swings open and a large woman with straight brown hair follows her belly through the doorway, her hand deep into a bag of salted pistachio nuts. 'A Pilsner. Make it a pint,' she asks the barman, parking herself near Phil on a stool.

'Cass!' he exclaims. 'I was expecting you last Friday. What happened?' Cass hands him the beer lid and drinks a mouthful of beer.

'Oh, the usual chaos. Jangle kept me at the Council longer, we had a bit of a mess with a rogue slumber of sloths vandalising Bradypus City and he needed all hands on deck to round them up. Naturally, I wasn't any use, but you know how he gets when he's stressed.' She sighs and crunches a pistachio nut. 'Oh look, a cat! And some bears! OK, I like this place.'

[Marxist Germany]

"Alright then, I'll check any pillow before sitting on it."

Phil glances at Schmidt in confusion. 'I think you may need to visit an optician if you're confusing bears and pillows. But ... I'm more concerned about Connor ... is he - er - all right?'

"Eh, well.. no, he's currently in the emergency room because he fractured his ribs, arms and probably his left leg, I hope he doesn't die, but all we can do currently is hope."

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

AHUME: Won't be necessary. Our point of entry is via The Nox homeworld, they are plant empaths and can detect sentience without explicit communication. From what I'm told, what they do is quite similar to a human doctor detecting a fetal heartbeat, but instead of ultrasonic waves they use a technology that, frankly, I don't understand.


AHUME: Won't be necessary. I've already said my farewells here. Twice. Although.... (He eyes the karaoke stage.) If you'll indulge me, I know just the song, it's from a Tau'ri musical about one of their founding fathers.

(Ahume takes the stage, grabs a microphone, and sings a capella).

Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Let's have another round tonight
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Let's have another round tonight....

When Ahume came down from the stage, Johan said, "A rousing song. And perhaps appropriate. But to get back to our green friend, I don't think seeds even have metabolic functions, nevermind anything equivalent to a heartbeat. Do you think I should get a sprouted seedling instead?"

AHUME: (looks at Johan, then at the seed, then at Johan) Do you not have any particular attachment to this one— erm. I’m very sorry, “attachment” is precisely the wrong word, no offense meant. What I mean is.... Yes, bring any plant you want.

(He rolls up his sleeve and presents Neville a shiny new tablet, embedded in his forearm, to be scanned to pay the bar bill.)

AHUME: Our transportation is waiting on the roof. My apologies, but we’ll have to walk, I could not get a ship equipped with Asgard beaming technology on such short notice. (looks around) Can I... help you with... your things?

[Potted Plants United]

AHUME: (looks at Johan, then at the seed, then at Johan) Do you not have any particular attachment to this one— erm. I’m very sorry, “attachment” is precisely the wrong word, no offense meant. What I mean is.... Yes, bring any plant you want.

(He rolls up his sleeve and presents Neville a shiny new tablet, embedded in his forearm, to be scanned to pay the bar bill.)

AHUME: Our transportation is waiting on the roof. My apologies, but we’ll have to walk, I could not get a ship equipped with Asgard beaming technology on such short notice. (looks around) Can I... help you with... your things?

Something fairly big but low on the ground, with many, many legs under its segmented body, scampered into the Bar, aiming for the two men. On its back was a small green snake. When the multilegged monstrosity, which the hivemind had dubbed "arthrosylvan", stopped next to Johan's barstool, he bowed down to pick up the snake. As he set it on the bar counter, it turned its head to look at Ahume, and very dark green writing appeared on its scale-like leaves: WOULD THIS WORK?

[Kardashev III Civilization]

A silver robot wheels its way into the bar, a rotating mast jutting out of its short, squat chassis. Without stopping, it turns toward Johan and stops mere inches from him. Lights flash on top of the still-turning mast, but otherwise the machine does not move or make any sound.

[Living Corporations]

Something fairly big but low on the ground, with many, many legs under its segmented body, scampered into the Bar, aiming for the two men. On its back was a small green snake. When the multilegged monstrosity, which the hivemind had dubbed "arthrosylvan", stopped next to Johan's barstool, he bowed down to pick up the snake. As he set it on the bar counter, it turned its head to look at Ahume, and very dark green writing appeared on its scale-like leaves: WOULD THIS WORK?

LaPointe peers over at the multilegged monstrosity, then reaches across her table to take the magazine out of her fellow corporation’s hand. When the man protests, she points over at the pair of plant-based lifeforms.

“That is just bizarre,” says the man, after a moment.