The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Merni]

The Mernian ambassador, Theodosius Wells (he's an immigrant) enters the bar and flops down on a stool.
"Neville, gin and tonic for me please."
Then, to the room at large, "For God's sake, if anyone creates a redundant committee again I'll kill you. I don't know what the hell Foreign Affairs were playing at when they told us to make a list of committees, but it almost killed me, what with no assistants."
He becomes refreshed after downing his drink, and stares at the man next to him, who is finishing his rant.
"Have a cup of tea, mate!"

[Naqil]

After finishing the gigantic rant he sighs

"So yeah, long story short, I screwed myself and I probably shouldn't drink..."

"I'll take back my offer then," says Ixhua. "Maybe you should just stay in headquarters until things calm down back home."

"Good afternoon," She said, not actually quite sure what time of day it was. "How are you today?"

She slams a 10 on the counter. "Beer me."

Universal currency exchange. Cool. she thinks.

She then turns to the person next to her. "I'm doing badly, thank you for asking. A performance review came up, and they decided I can continue on in my punitive assignment- that is, I'm still stuck here- instead of moving up into a role I can actually be of use in. Sometimes I think I should have just stuck with the family business instead of moving into politics..."

[Industrial West Virginia]

-snip-

She then turns to the person next to her. "I'm doing badly, thank you for asking. A performance review came up, and they decided I can continue on in my punitive assignment- that is, I'm still stuck here- instead of moving up into a role I can actually be of use in. Sometimes I think I should have just stuck with the family business instead of moving into politics..."

"Being an ambassador isn't the worst thing ever," She replies, a bit overwhelmed by the exposition dump. "I mean, you get to travel everywhere and meet new people. Then again, it probably would have been less pressure going in to the family business."

She took another sip. "What type of business does your family run?"

[Naqil]

"Being an ambassador isn't the worst thing ever," She replies, a bit overwhelmed by the exposition dump. "I mean, you get to travel everywhere and meet new people. Then again, it probably would have been less pressure going in to the family business."

She took another sip. "What type of business does your family run?"

Oh, if you thought that was an exposition dump... "Well, I say 'business' but that's just because it's part of the phrase. I'm from House Yavuas, and we're a priest House," explains Ixhua. "We used to be a major name, too. Back before the coup of '93, it was almost guaranteed that the Councilor of Culture would be a Yavuas. After the coup, though..." She shook her head. "I figured that going into politics could get some of our old respect back. Instead I ended up here. We're not even WA members- literally my only job is to give prior warning if the WA were to start interfering with non-members. This isn't what I wanted at all."

[Industrial West Virginia]

"Being an ambassador isn't the worst thing ever," She replies, a bit overwhelmed by the exposition dump. "I mean, you get to travel everywhere and meet new people. Then again, it probably would have been less pressure going in to the family business."

She took another sip. "What type of business does your family run?"

Oh, if you thought that was an exposition dump... "Well, I say 'business' but that's just because it's part of the phrase. I'm from House Yavuas, and we're a priest House," explains Ixhua. "We used to be a major name, too. Back before the coup of '93, it was almost guaranteed that the Councilor of Culture would be a Yavuas. After the coup, though..." She shook her head. "I figured that going into politics could get some of our old respect back. Instead I ended up here. We're not even WA members- literally my only job is to give prior warning if the WA were to start interfering with non-members. This isn't what I wanted at all."

"Well that certainly doesn't sound optimal," she replied. "Did you try going for an actual elected position? Ambassador may get you some popularity if you're running, but there wouldn't be any harm to start running whenever first starting your career in politics."

[New Vragoltinus]

Vernard finally gets his water

"Ah, thank yo-...Wait a minute, I'm a cyborg why the hell would I drink water? Wouldn't that be counterproductive and cause me to rust? Eh, questions for later."

A pipe that looks like the end of a vacuum cleaner comes out from his mask, going into the glass and starting to drain out the water in it

[Naqil]

"Well that certainly doesn't sound optimal," she replied. "Did you try going for an actual elected position? Ambassador may get you some popularity if you're running, but there wouldn't be any harm to start running whenever first starting your career in politics."

Ixhua shook her head. "I went into the political track and started my training when His Most Glorious Dictator was in power. Elections didn't exist- the only political positions at all were either as cronies or as ambassadors. Even now that he's been overthrown, options are limited. The only elected positions are the Council itself, and I just do not have the sway for one of those."

[Wallenburg]

Vernard finally gets his water

"Ah, thank yo-...Wait a minute, I'm a cyborg why the hell would I drink water? Wouldn't that be counterproductive and cause me to rust? Eh, questions for later."

A pipe that looks like the end of a vacuum cleaner comes out from his mask, going into the glass and starting to drain out the water in it

"Why do we drink alcohol?" asks Ogenbond. "It's quite counterproductive and causes liver damage. But it feels good. So if drinking that water feels good to you, have at it."

[Merni]

Vernard finally gets his water

"Ah, thank yo-...Wait a minute, I'm a cyborg why the hell would I drink water? Wouldn't that be counterproductive and cause me to rust? Eh, questions for later."

A pipe that looks like the end of a vacuum cleaner comes out from his mask, going into the glass and starting to drain out the water in it

"Why do we drink alcohol?" asks Ogenbond. "It's quite counterproductive and causes liver damage. But it feels good. So if drinking that water feels good to you, have at it."

"Well said!" says Theodosius. "Neville, another gin and tonic please. In fact, make it two more."

[New Vragoltinus]

Vernard finally gets his water

"Ah, thank yo-...Wait a minute, I'm a cyborg why the hell would I drink water? Wouldn't that be counterproductive and cause me to rust? Eh, questions for later."

A pipe that looks like the end of a vacuum cleaner comes out from his mask, going into the glass and starting to drain out the water in it

"Why do we drink alcohol?" asks Ogenbond. "It's quite counterproductive and causes liver damage. But it feels good. So if drinking that water feels good to you, have at it."

He stops for a second after hearing him, proceeding to calmly state "Guess that makes sense." He then finally drains the glass, the vacuum-like extension going back into his mask

[Imperium Anglorum]

Is Discord broken for anyone right now?

[Living Corporations]

A woman wearing a sharp suit and an air of quiet indignation walks into the room and takes a seat by the bar. “I’ll have a credit card application, heavy on the typos,” she says to Neville. “On the cheapest paper you have. In Comic Sans, if possible. If it looks in any way professional, it’s not strong enough.”

[Imperial Polk County]

Ambassador Drane enters the bar. He stops when he notices a very quiet Herby near the doorway. He looks around; no one appears to be paying him any mind. He removes an exacto knife from his pocket, extends the blade, and walks up to Herby's driver side... no no, of course, that won't work, he thinks. He sighs, puts the "weapon" back in his pocket, and takes a seat at the bar. "Neville," he greets the bartender quietly, "tequilla, straight up."

[Wallenburg]

A woman wearing a sharp suit and an air of quiet indignation walks into the room and takes a seat by the bar. “I’ll have a credit card application, heavy on the typos,” she says to Neville. “On the cheapest paper you have. In Comic Sans, if possible. If it looks in any way professional, it’s not strong enough.”

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" asks Trevanyika. "This establishment serves alcohol and cheap food. Neville, please tell me you don't keep the refrigerator stocked with old newspapers and leftover bureaucracy."

[Whovian Tardisia]

Pink simply shrugged at the newcomer's request. It was by no means the strangest thing he had seen someone order here. The coffee had arrived at the table by this point, and he was about to take a sip when the door flew open and hit the wall with a rather loud bang.

"I love the smell of whisky in the morning." said Captain Wilson, strolling over to Pink's table. Jack Dawson rolled his eyes as he followed her.
"Ambassador." She continued, extending her hand.
"Captain." came Pink's reply. "I trust the flight in was alright?"
"We had some issues on vortex exit." Wilson answered, taking a seat. "There's some temporal instability here. You wouldn't -"
"No. It's always been like that. Just try not to fall asleep." His gaze returned to the door. "Where's Anna?"
"Fainted." Dawson interjected. "Sarah's taken her to the zero room, she'll come round eventually. Left her a note and a form, no worries." He took a seat of his own and picked up his coffee. "Now, about this Overseer..."

[Living Corporations]

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" asks Trevanyika. "This establishment serves alcohol and cheap food. Neville, please tell me you don't keep the refrigerator stocked with old newspapers and leftover bureaucracy."

"I'm a corporation, not a human," says the woman. "Alcohol doesn't affect me, and cheap food doesn't interest me. I can't even properly digest it."

[Wallenburg]

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" asks Trevanyika. "This establishment serves alcohol and cheap food. Neville, please tell me you don't keep the refrigerator stocked with old newspapers and leftover bureaucracy."

"I'm a corporation, not a human," says the woman. "Alcohol doesn't affect me, and cheap food doesn't interest me. I can't even properly digest it."

Trevanyika looks down at her drink, and then back at the woman. "I swear I'm not that drunk. Did you say you are a corporation? As in a business with boards and stockholders and everything?"

[Living Corporations]

Trevanyika looks down at her drink, and then back at the woman. "I swear I'm not that drunk. Did you say you are a corporation? As in a business with boards and stockholders and everything?"

"I did, in fact." The woman held out her hand to shake. "LaPointe Law Firm, P.C. I employ over a dozen attorneys and have been existing for just over forty years now."

[Wallenburg]

Trevanyika looks down at her drink, and then back at the woman. "I swear I'm not that drunk. Did you say you are a corporation? As in a business with boards and stockholders and everything?"

"I did, in fact." The woman held out her hand to shake. "LaPointe Law Firm, P.C. I employ over a dozen attorneys and have been existing for just over forty years now."

Trevanyika tentatively shakes her hand. "Ms. LaPointe, then. I am Helen Trevanyika, from the Republic of East Wallenburg. Corporations are not recognized in Wallenburg, not least because they aren't living people back home. Fascinating. So are you the property of other people, or do you share my right to self-ownership?"

[Living Corporations]

Trevanyika tentatively shakes her hand. "Ms. LaPointe, then. I am Helen Trevanyika, from the Republic of East Wallenburg. Corporations are not recognized in Wallenburg, not least because they aren't living people back home. Fascinating. So are you the property of other people, or do you share my right to self-ownership?"

LaPointe's handshake is firm, professional, and well-practiced. "It's complicated. I own myself, but corporations in general are heavily influenced by their shareholders and their board of directors. I am a professional corporation, however, so my attorneys are the only humans involved, and therefore are the only ones that can influence me."

"Or, were. Now that I'm here this... unusual pocket dimension, things are different. The me that is this body can act independently of the me that is the rest of the corporation. And good thing, too."

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Steph looks extremely startled. She glances back and forth several times between Helen and the bar-back mirror, squinting occasionally. "Save yourself!" she whispers, as loudly as she dare (not very). Then, with a frightened scowl, Steph raises her hands in front of her. She makes the sign of the hammer-and-sickle with her fingers, keeping it at shoulder level like a shield or ward, and backs slowly out of the bar. The door shuts behind her and heavily-booted footsteps can be heard sprinting down the hall for a few moments afterward.

Leo shrugs. "I didn't imagine she believed in vampires. Hmm." He gestures at Drane, then looks over at the nearest bartender. "Did I hear a request for tequila? Fetch me one too, if you please."

[Herby]

Ambassador Drane enters the bar. He stops when he notices a very quiet Herby near the doorway. He looks around; no one appears to be paying him any mind. He removes an exacto knife from his pocket, extends the blade, and walks up to Herby's driver side... no no, of course, that won't work, he thinks. He sighs, puts the "weapon" back in his pocket, and takes a seat at the bar. "Neville," he greets the bartender quietly, "tequilla, straight up."

Herby responds to Q-Bert’s shenanigans with only a computerized beep. Much like the way a computer beeps when turned on. Nothing happens for five minutes. Then, another beep. Then nothing for five minutes. Then another beep. Ad infinitum. Uh oh. This can’t be good.

[Living Corporations]

A girl in strikingly '90s American fashion walks in, spots LaPointe and Trevanyika talking to each other, and rubs her hands together gleefully before making her way over.

[Imperial Polk County]

Leo shrugs. "I didn't imagine she believed in vampires. Hmm." He gestures at Drane, then looks over at the nearest bartender. "Did I hear a request for tequila? Fetch me one too, if you please."

Drane, without looking up, morosely waves his glass in the air in Leo's general direction. "Cheers." He downs it and briefly makes a face. "Damn. Neville, let's try a different one, something from Mexico. Like a Patrón. And with a wedge of lime on the side."

Herby responds to Q-Bert’s shenanigans with only a computerized beep. Much like the way a computer beeps when turned on. Nothing happens for five minutes. Then, another beep. Then nothing for five minutes. Then another beep. Ad infinitum. Uh oh. This can’t be good.

After a few iterations, Drane finally notices the beeping. He briefly looks in the direction of the now inanimate car, and shakes his head. He salts his hand, licks it, downs the second tequila shot, and sucks on the lime. "Mmm. Much better."

[Wallenburg]

Trevanyika tentatively shakes her hand. "Ms. LaPointe, then. I am Helen Trevanyika, from the Republic of East Wallenburg. Corporations are not recognized in Wallenburg, not least because they aren't living people back home. Fascinating. So are you the property of other people, or do you share my right to self-ownership?"

LaPointe's handshake is firm, professional, and well-practiced. "It's complicated. I own myself, but corporations in general are heavily influenced by their shareholders and their board of directors. I am a professional corporation, however, so my attorneys are the only humans involved, and therefore are the only ones that can influence me."

"Or, were. Now that I'm here this... unusual pocket dimension, things are different. The me that is this body can act independently of the me that is the rest of the corporation. And good thing, too."

Trevanyika nods. "Good. I'll drink to your freedom then. And, if you ever wish to reconsider alcohol, there will be a drink waiting for you on the Wallenburgian tab."

"Hey! You aren't even an employee!" shouts Representative Ogenbond from several stools away.

"My tab," Trevanyika corrects herself. "So, what is a living embodiment of a corporation doing in the World Assembly?"