The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Potted Plants United]

Smith: Talking car. Yep.

"I think you will find that a talking car is a much better choice of an alien encounter than you'd think," a speaker plant said, stopping its wheeled plantpot next to him.

[Essu Beti]

A half-grown black cat hopped up onto the car's hood. "Hey Rumbly Car! How's you been?"

And away goes kitty. Oh well, the company was interesting while it lasted.

"I think you will find that a talking car is a much better choice of an alien encounter than you'd think," a speaker plant said, stopping its wheeled plantpot next to him.

“Tell me about it,” interrupts Iksana. “There’s all sorts of talking things here, and I know for a fact that at least one of them is total jerk. Not that you’re likely to just run into her in the corridor or whatnot. The car? The car’s weird, but fine. So is the plant. And the cat. The bat’s a little scary at first, I admit.”

“Also congrats, I’m naming you the recipient of this bottle of aspirin. Catch! Make sure to gimme something back for it.”

[Herby]

"Holidays can be a exhausting time," John Henry says nursing his beer. "If you are feeling sluggish lately, might I suggest an engine flush? I know it's somewhat a dirty topic, but I'm from Dirty Americans and we don't mind getting a little dirty."

Ehhh maybe I could use a good flushin’ and wait wait wait you’re an American? D’ohhhhh ehhhh sorry bub but I’ve had enough o’ your kind this past week. No offense.

A half-grown black cat hopped up onto the car's hood. "Hey Rumbly Car! How's you been?"

Urrrrrgh. That’s how I been. Urrrrrrrrrgh. Hey Neville, a dish of cream for ehhhhhhh yeah yeah I know, sorry Neville, shouldn’t a taken it out on you, very disrespectful of me, never happen again I swear. Anyway Chief, I had nuttin’ to do for the holiday break so Q-Bert, you know, Ambassador Drane? He invited me to spend Christmas with his family. Hoo boy, talk about awkward. Couldn’t wait to get outta there.

[WA Kitty Kops]

And away goes kitty. Oh well, the company was interesting while it lasted.

The box had been promised to him, when the funny-tailed ambassador was through with it, and the Chief Inshpekshuuner wasn't interested in being dressed up in anything but his own fur, so there was little reason to hang around.

Urrrrrgh. That’s how I been. Urrrrrrrrrgh. Hey Neville, a dish of cream for ehhhhhhh yeah yeah I know, sorry Neville, shouldn’t a taken it out on you, very disrespectful of me, never happen again I swear. Anyway Chief, I had nuttin’ to do for the holiday break so Q-Bert, you know, Ambassador Drane? He invited me to spend Christmas with his family. Hoo boy, talk about awkward. Couldn’t wait to get outta there.

Two bowls of cream in one day was a jackpot! "Was it because you's so talky?" he asked.

[Liagolas]

Long time, no speak, all! First, I want to apologize for the complete disappearance of Liagolas. It was really pretty lousy of me. All I can say is that I was busy with college, which is no excuse to not at least make mention that I'd have an absence, and to make a long story short then left on a religious mission from which I am home on a temporary medical release (presently I am quite healthy, so no worries). Like I said, though, that's no excuse for going off the radar so abruptly, and I'm sorry for that. I'm only here very temporarily, but I wanted to pop in, say hello, and participate a bit while I'm here. It might be days, might be week; only time will tell. And this time I'll give some advance notice before I leave again!

"HELLO, STRANGER'S BAR!" The doors were suddenly flung open as two oddly-cloaked figures strode in, one after another, each figure completely enveloped in the robes, their faces and bodies unseeable. The first was covered head to toe with a dark gray cloak, its face obscured. But far more strangely was that over the cloak it wore a psychedelic blue unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and propped on top of its head, over its hood, was a pair of sunglasses. In one hand it held a narrow leather suitcase and in the other a plastic bottle of orange juice. This one strode with its head held high, a strut in its step, and a chortle in its voice.

Behind it was another hooded figure, this one stooped, as if curled in on itself as it walked. Its cloak, however, was a deep green, and in place of a shirt it wore a lei and held a pair of sunglasses in its hands. Where the other was confident, this one seemed on the brink of a nervous collapse, notwithstanding expressions unseen.

Each quickly took a seat at the bar, and the gray-cloaked one spoke, "Orange Juliuses, if you would, Neville!" As the order was responded to, gray-cloak sighed. "Ah, it is good to be back. Illness has been cured, vacation time has been had, and while membership has been renounced, the ambassadorship has been retained! All in all, it is a good day to be a Mouth for the Dominion!"

The Mouth sees many a new face, but also many an old. How weirdly wonderful it felt to be back!

[The New European Order]

Smith: Talking car. Yep.

"I think you will find that a talking car is a much better choice of an alien encounter than you'd think," a speaker plant said, stopping its wheeled plantpot next to him.

Smith warily looks at the plant, and nods.

Smith: Thats understandable. I suppose I just haven’t gotten my sea legs yet... or bar legs more specifically. By the way, anybody got a recommendation for a decent region? The president asked because mine is dying.

[Araraukar]

[about regions]

OOC: Please don't do that in IC here, as it amounts to regional advertizing on the wrong forum by anyone who takes the bait.

[Dirty Americans]

Ehhh maybe I could use a good flushin’ and wait wait wait you’re an American? D’ohhhhh ehhhh sorry bub but I’ve had enough o’ your kind this past week. No offense.

"I understand. You see that guy over there who looks like the Muppet's Beaker, and those two women next to him? I have enough of them every time they pass by me. It's enough to make a former middle class, hard working, African American cry."

John pauses.

"But after that Native American cried in the commercial, it's just isn't done anymore."

[Wallenburg]

Ambassador Pink stood amidst the screaming and the wounded, realizing that he was almost powerless to help. He thought, maybe, that he could do something, but he could feel it. The events that had caused this misery were fixed. There was nothing he could do. Absentmindedly, he scanned Ogenbond and flicked them back to the older office. As the screams of the future ceased, he turned to Paulson. "I'm afraid, Erik, that there isn't much that I can do to help your people. I'm sorry about that." He kicked over Ogenbond's waste paper basket in frustration, then continued. "But the least I do is get you back to them. If I return you to the correct point in time, I can cancel out the temporal dissonance. Your time will stop overlapping ours, and the World Assembly of the future can help you recover. By then they might be able to find you a new place to settle, and keep Wallenburg going." He sighed, knowing that that this was the most likely scenario. But he straightened himself up, knowing at least that it should work. "Come back to the bar." Ambassador Pink said, holding open the office door. "This might cheer you up a little."

Ogenbond follows Ambassador Pink back into the bar. A few moments behind them enters Paulson. "Well, I could use a drink," says the grim Wallenburgian. Ogenbond orders him a drink and then looks to Pink. "Well, Ambassador, that was certainly a unique experience. Perhaps I'll have to ask to tag along on a less depressing adventure with you into the future. Or the past."

"Mr. Ogenbond, you are going to have a lot on your hands in the next few years. You will hardly have time to go running off into alternate timelines. You have no idea."

Ogenbond nods dismissively. "I know, representing two semi-unified republics certainly is not a walk in the park, but--"

"Oh, that?" interrupts Paulson. "No, that's just the beginning. Your office calendars say that it is 1941, yes? Watch the elections, closely. You can't do anything about them by now, but they will change Wallenburg permanently. Ah, there's my drink."

Long time, no speak, all! First, I want to apologize for the complete disappearance of Liagolas. It was really pretty lousy of me. All I can say is that I was busy with college, which is no excuse to not at least make mention that I'd have an absence, and to make a long story short then left on a religious mission from which I am home on a temporary medical release (presently I am quite healthy, so no worries). Like I said, though, that's no excuse for going off the radar so abruptly, and I'm sorry for that. I'm only here very temporarily, but I wanted to pop in, say hello, and participate a bit while I'm here. It might be days, might be week; only time will tell. And this time I'll give some advance notice before I leave again!

OOC: You're not dead! That's good. Don't worry about taking a break from NS, real life takes precedence.

[Liagolas]

OOC: You're not dead! That's good. Don't worry about taking a break from NS, real life takes precedence.

OOC: Feels good to not be dead; I recommend it. And thanks.

---

IC:

The Mouth of the Dominion, now happily guzzling at its drink with a swirly straw, turns about in its stool as it notices a trio of figures enter.

"Mr. Ogenbond!" it says, waving a hand as it recognizes the Wallenburgian. As its gaze falls upon Ambassadors Pink and Paulson, it adds, "And two strangers the Dominion doesn't recognize! A good day to each of you." Suddenly, however, it notices the slightly grim mood surrounding them. "Ah... it is the query of the Dominion to ask what is troubling the three of you. It is the observation of the Dominion that you all look as if you'd seen a ghost."

"It is the observation of the Dominion that you all look as if you'd seen the bad future ending of a visual novel."

---

John

"Ah, it is the note of the Dominion that yours is a face it does not recognize," the Mouth says, addressing the soot-faced ambassador. Gesturing to itself it says, "The Hive Dominion of Liagolas, former member, present observer, at service. Yourself?"

---

Smith warily looks at the plant, and nods.

"Ah, the plants are quite harmless," the Mouth says, its tone something between a dismissive smirk and a well-meaning laugh. "The worst it'll ever do is give Mr. Bell a bad scare." Pausing only to take another gulp of its drink, the Mouth adds, "The Dominion posits that if you can engage with the Potted Plants with anything less than a scream, there's nothing that will be too much of a shock to your sense from hereon out."

The Mouth's compatriot, another figure cloaked from head to toe, although in green, sits on the next nearest stool and crosses its arms, its posture huffy. The Mouth shrugs and adds, "Then again... perhaps it is underestimating the multiverse..."

[The New European Order]

[about regions]

OOC: Please don't do that in IC here, as it amounts to regional advertizing on the wrong forum by anyone who takes the bait.

OOC: alright, sorry.

[Imperial Polk County]

Ambassador Drane wearily enters the bar, his head hung a little low, his gait slow and deliberate. He stops when he sees Herby, and walks to the other side of the bar, somewhere near Iksana and away from Herby. He quietly gives the bartender his order, a rum and diet coke. He then nods in the direction of Iksana.

"Thanks for the DVD. It was, umm, interesting. And by interesting, I mean revolting."

[Herby]

Urrrrrgh. That’s how I been. Urrrrrrrrrgh. Hey Neville, a dish of cream for ehhhhhhh yeah yeah I know, sorry Neville, shouldn’t a taken it out on you, very disrespectful of me, never happen again I swear. Anyway Chief, I had nuttin’ to do for the holiday break so Q-Bert, you know, Ambassador Drane? He invited me to spend Christmas with his family. Hoo boy, talk about awkward. Couldn’t wait to get outta there.

Two bowls of cream in one day was a jackpot! "Was it because you's so talky?" he asked.

Ehhh what? Okay yeah I know I can get chatty but naw, it was more ehhhh I dunno, just bein’ stuck there with his family, his wife, his rugrat grandkid, it was nuts, just nuts.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Elsie walks in and orders a hazelnut chocolate gelato.

[Liagolas]

Ambassador Drane wearily enters the bar, his head hung a little low, his gait slow and deliberate. He stops when he sees Herby, and walks to the other side of the bar, somewhere near Iksana and away from Herby. He quietly gives the bartender his order, a rum and diet coke. He then nods in the direction of Iksana.

"Thanks for the DVD. It was, umm, interesting. And by interesting, I mean revolting."

Noticing Drane's cheerless mood, the Mouth of the Dominion waves to the barkeep. "It is the request of the Dominion that Ambassador Drane's drinks be billed to the Dominion's tab." As it sips its own drink, it suddenly adds, "Er, the Hive Dominion's tab, not the Confederate Dominion's tab!" The Mouth sincerely hoped that no one would ever notice that mix-up from a long time hence...

To Drane, it continues, "Are you alright, Ambassador? Need a being to talk at?"

---

Elsie walks in and orders a hazelnut chocolate gelato.

The Mouth doesn't recognize ambassador, and so waves in greeting. "Good day to you, Ambassador. It is the observation of the Dominion that you have been representing Imperium Anglorum; is that correct? The Dominion of Liagolas is pleased to make acquaintance."

[Essu Beti]

Ambassador Drane wearily enters the bar, his head hung a little low, his gait slow and deliberate. He stops when he sees Herby, and walks to the other side of the bar, somewhere near Iksana and away from Herby. He quietly gives the bartender his order, a rum and diet coke. He then nods in the direction of Iksana.

"Thanks for the DVD. It was, umm, interesting. And by interesting, I mean revolting."

Iksana pulls a water bottle out of the box and sets it in the ‘keep’ pile. “You’re welcome. Some people try to defend it as a ‘product of its time’ but really, you’d have to try really hard to convince me that some of that shit was considered appropriate back then. Was it that season I gave you that made fun of the modernization of Sonari, or was that a different one?”

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

For several long moments Johan simply sat there and stared at Ahume, his mouth partially open as though he would have wanted to say something but simply had too many thoughts clamoring for attention at the same time. Then he blinked and earned himself a papercut in his haste to get the envelope open and the documents contained within out on the table.

"I... don't understand," he said finally, after quickly scanning the documents.

(Ahume, who had fallen asleep while waiting for Johan's reply, awakens with a bit of a jolt.)

"How did...? Why would...? Janis can't have known for that long that I would get in trouble with the Central Office or she would have warned me..."

AHUME: Well. We started down this path almost a couple years ago now. I don't know if she knew anything, or if she had the foresight to be that prepared. If she knew anything, she didn't say anything to me. And she certainly wouldn't have confided in Ari. Listen, Johan, you don't need to answer now, you don't even need to answer in the next six months. Just take the papers, and if you should want to use them, fill in the date and have Janis sign it. Or any other sponsor, doesn't have to be Janis, could be the plant hivemind for all we care. The bar is set pretty low when it comes to immigration, provided you swear to uphold the ideals of a Wad. Which won't be a problem for a pacifist like you. (He looks at his tablet on his forearm.) I'm sorry but I really need to go, I never intended to stay this long. I'm sure my associates have finished cleaning out the office by now, so unless you have any pressing questions that can't wait....

[New Vragoltinus]

Vernard after sitting at the bar, taking shot after shot through the pipe/straw coming out of his mask for well over 2 hours seems to have gotten completely smashed to the point his language software has begun to incorrectly execute, causing him to start speaking random languages and malfunction to the point of occasionally not even speaking them correctly.

He swayed around in his seat laughing to himself before yelling out between giggles:

"ICH BIN SO VERDAMMT BETRUNKEN!"

He kept howling with laughter before yelling again:

"¡Dame otra copa!"

[Whovian Tardisia]

Ogenbond follows Ambassador Pink back into the bar. A few moments behind them enters Paulson. "Well, I could use a drink," says the grim Wallenburgian. Ogenbond orders him a drink and then looks to Pink. "Well, Ambassador, that was certainly a unique experience. Perhaps I'll have to ask to tag along on a less depressing adventure with you into the future. Or the past."

"We shall see. Although I'm not sure the High Council would approve of showing foreign diplomats our secrets just for kicks..."

"Mr. Ogenbond, you are going to have a lot on your hands in the next few years. You will hardly have time to go running off into alternate timelines. You have no idea."

Ogenbond nods dismissively. "I know, representing two semi-unified republics certainly is not a walk in the park, but--"

"Oh, that?" interrupts Paulson. "No, that's just the beginning. Your office calendars say that it is 1941, yes? Watch the elections, closely. You can't do anything about them by now, but they will change Wallenburg permanently. Ah, there's my drink."

Ambassador Pink coughs disapprovingly. "Can't help yourselves, can you..." He mutters, before hearing a voice that had not yet graced these ears.

The Mouth of the Dominion, now happily guzzling at its drink with a swirly straw, turns about in its stool as it notices a trio of figures enter.

"Mr. Ogenbond!" it says, waving a hand as it recognizes the Wallenburgian. As its gaze falls upon Ambassadors Pink and Paulson, it adds, "And two strangers the Dominion doesn't recognize! A good day to each of you." Suddenly, however, it notices the slightly grim mood surrounding them. "Ah... it is the query of the Dominion to ask what is troubling the three of you. It is the observation of the Dominion that you all look as if you'd seen a ghost."

"By some accounts it would appear I have!" Ambassador Pink exclaimed, extending his hand to the Mouth. "The Dominion may find this hard to believe, but this is indeed Ambassador Rupert Pink to which it speaks. I share the Dominion's pleasure in the return of it's most sociable Mouth, but it would appear that it's Hand over there is not so keen... No matter. Please, join us!" He encourages, gesturing to a nearby empty booth. "The Dominion should be caught up on recent events, I feel."

[Liagolas]

"By some accounts it would appear I have!" Ambassador Pink exclaimed, extending his hand to the Mouth. It is perhaps almost too trusting, taking the matter in stride, but the Mouth has seen far stranger than a beyond-extreme makeover, and it now recognizes the ambassador's word choice and gestures. "The Dominion may find this hard to believe, but this is indeed Ambassador Rupert Pink to which it speaks. I share the Dominion's pleasure in the return of it's most sociable Mouth, but it would appear that it's Hand over there is not so keen... No matter. Please, join us!" He encourages, gesturing to a nearby empty booth. "The Dominion should be caught up on recent events, I feel."

"Ambassador Pink? Why, it is the confession of the Dominion that it would never have known!" the Mouth says as it eagerly returns the handshake. "Ah, you have the Dominion's gratitude for the invitation, and its Mouth shall gladly join." And with that, both the Mouth and the calmer-but-still-nervous-green-clad hand take a seat at the booth.

"You speak of recent events," the Mouth says. "What has been happening?" In the middle of continuing to sip its drink, it gently starts, seeming to remember something. "Ah! But if it may, it is the will of the Dominion to share some interesting news!" The Mouth's grin is literally audible, and its colleague's head hangs even lower. "Now, go on," it says, in address to said colleague. "It is not this Mouth's news to tell."

The other pauses before finally lifting up its head - though not losing its slouch - and, almost surprisingly, speaking. The eagle-eared would not that this was most certainly the same voice as belonged to the First Hand of the Mouth, called "Sam" within some circles behind the Dominion's back. "It is the announcement of the Dominion that the body referred to previously as the First Hand for the Mouth has and shall henceforth commence ambassadorial training under the counsel of the Mouth to the World Assembly." It halts, as abruptly as it started.

The Mouth chuckles and adds, "What a turn of events, is it not?" It sounds somewhat amused; there is even some surprise in its tone, despite presumably having already known for some time. "But forgive the Dominion's interruption. What is new?"

[Whovian Tardisia]

..."Now, go on," it says, in address to said colleague. "It is not this Mouth's news to tell."

Ambassador Pink leaned forward in interest. He remembered this Hand's previous psychological crisis, and found it fascinating, so news concerning the Hand was intriguing.

The other pauses before finally lifting up its head - though not losing its slouch - and, almost surprisingly, speaking. The eagle-eared would not that this was most certainly the same voice as belonged to the First Hand of the Mouth, called "Sam" within some circles behind the Dominion's back. "It is the announcement of the Dominion that the body referred to previously as the First Hand for the Mouth has and shall henceforth commence ambassadorial training under the counsel of the Mouth to the World Assembly." It halts, as abruptly as it started.

The Mouth chuckles and adds, "What a turn of events, is it not?" It sounds somewhat amused; there is even some surprise in its tone, despite presumably having already known for some time. "But forgive the Dominion's interruption. What is new?"

"I congratulate this Hand, and expect great things of it." Ambassador Pink responded, deciding not to use the moniker created seemingly in jest all that time ago, as he worried that 'Sam' would react harshly to it after having been away so long. "I suppose the most obvious development as of late would be my literal change of face." He began. "Natural biological mechanism of my species, triggered by an attack of creatures most foul that would have killed most living things. There is also my recent drafting work, although that will likely come up soon enough by other means. But the WA as a whole has experienced the usual ups and downs, proposals and repeals, including an enormous malarkey regarding marriage. I doubt the Dominion is even concerned with such things." It suddenly occurred to Pink that he himself was a bit unaware of general proceedings; he had mainly been focused on his own affairs as of late. "At any rate, it is a pleasure to speak with this Mouth again. To good health!" He concluded, raising his glass.

[Liagolas]

"I congratulate this Hand, and expect great things of it." Ambassador Pink responded, deciding not to use the moniker created seemingly in jest all that time ago, as he worried that 'Sam' would react harshly to it after having been away so long. "I suppose the most obvious development as of late would be my literal change of face." He began. "Natural biological mechanism of my species, triggered by an attack of creatures most foul that would have killed most living things. There is also my recent drafting work, although that will likely come up soon enough by other means. But the WA as a whole has experienced the usual ups and downs, proposals and repeals, including an enormous malarkey regarding marriage. I doubt the Dominion is even concerned with such things." It suddenly occurred to Pink that he himself was a bit unaware of general proceedings; he had mainly been focused on his own affairs as of late. "At any rate, it is a pleasure to speak with this Mouth again. To good health!" He concluded, raising his glass.

"Indeed, to good health!" the Mouth says, raising its glass as well. The Hand mimics the gesture with its own glass of water, though with slightly less enthusiasm. "And, if it may say, it is the opinion of the Dominion that it is a good face that you have been granted. And it is certainly glad to see you have survived your harrowing experience." It takes a long swirly-straw sip before continuing, "And perhaps non-membership has its benefits in that the Dominion is spared the roller coaster of Assembly legislation except when it wishes to observe and comment upon debates."

[Imperium Anglorum]

Elsie walks in and orders a hazelnut chocolate gelato.

The Mouth doesn't recognize ambassador, and so waves in greeting. "Good day to you, Ambassador. It is the observation of the Dominion that you have been representing Imperium Anglorum; is that correct? The Dominion of Liagolas is pleased to make acquaintance."

E. MW: Why, yes, I do. You mean to say you are this Dominion?

[Liagolas]

E. MW: Why, yes, I do. You mean to say you are this Dominion?

The Mouth shrugs a bit and answers, "Only technically. Presently speaking is the Mouth of the Dominion to the World Assembly, no real name. Liagolas assumes identity into the state, and all flesh within is merely a constituent part of the whole; thus is why this Mouth speaks in its somewhat convoluted fashion, making reference to the Dominion, and so forth. It is the suppostion of the Dominion that it is your good fortune to not have to make such linguistic gymnastics!" The Mouth chuckles, pausing to drink. "Though, perhaps it is more accurate to say it is only the Dominion's misfortune? Bah, no matter. Enjoying this 'august body'? You certainly seem to have a strong sense of what you're doing, which is arguably most of the battle!"

[Imperial Polk County]

Ambassador Drane wearily enters the bar, his head hung a little low, his gait slow and deliberate. He stops when he sees Herby, and walks to the other side of the bar, somewhere near Iksana and away from Herby. He quietly gives the bartender his order, a rum and diet coke. He then nods in the direction of Iksana.

"Thanks for the DVD. It was, umm, interesting. And by interesting, I mean revolting."

Iksana pulls a water bottle out of the box and sets it in the ‘keep’ pile. “You’re welcome. Some people try to defend it as a ‘product of its time’ but really, you’d have to try really hard to convince me that some of that shit was considered appropriate back then. Was it that season I gave you that made fun of the modernization of Sonari, or was that a different one?”

"I don't know, I had some trouble trying to follow, I could barely understand it. And what I could grasp was a mishmash of satire and gore with excessive misogynistic and racist overtones. Like, a sad and demented version of South Park devoid of any redeeming qualities. My wife was appalled. And that was just the beginning of our horrid holiday."