The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[WA Kitty Kops]

""The portal is not closed. You're in our time, not yours."

The Chief Inshpekshuuner rubbed himself against Ogenbond's shin. "Is yous having trouble with the boring guy, Mikael? I coulds scratch him for you, make him go away from your place."

[New Vragoltinus]

Vernard Brigant pulls out a random santa hat and slaps it on over his helmet he's already wearing, making a few gleeful chuckles to himself and bobbing his head around making the pom-pom part of the hat flop around

[Wallenburg]

""The portal is not closed. You're in our time, not yours."

The Chief Inshpekshuuner rubbed himself against Ogenbond's shin. "Is yous having trouble with the boring guy, Mikael? I coulds scratch him for you, make him go away from your place."

"I don't think that will be necessary, Chief. Thank you, though."

[The New European Order]

Smith and Greene walk into the bar, grimacing. Smith looks around. There are a lot of familiar faces, and quite a few unfamiliar ones. A lot look older... worn down. What's been going on?

Smith: Christ... It's been a while.

Greene: Yes it has, sir.

Smith shakes his head, trying to ward off the screaming headache that was coming.

Smith: Where's Janis? I want to ask her how things have been going around here.

[Imperial Polk County]

Drane, wearing a red puffball hat and a knitted green sweater with white snowflakes, enters the bar. "Greetings, Mister Chamberlain! The holidays are nearly upon us, would you be offering something festive this coming week, like eggnog or perhaps hot buttered rum?" He takes a seat and as he looks around, his cheerful smile dissipates. "Hmm. I suppose they don't have Christmas everywhere, do they?"

Being colorblind, Iksana doesn’t register the clashing holiday colors. It’s all brown to him. “I haven’t a clue what Christmas is, so I’m gonna assume not,” he says, prying open the box and retrieving the first item, a DVD in a rental case. “Some festival or whatever?”

"Yes, one when--" Drane points to Iksana's box "--people give and receive presents. It was established to celebrate the birth of a prophet, in a handful of related religions that are common in my world, but for many people the holiday has lost all of its religious connotations." He looks up and flicks the pom pom on his hat. "Pity, some would say."

[Tzorsland]

Lucifer (a rather interesting android with a strange illuminated miter on his head) walks into the bar and two stocky robots follow behind. When informed that bodyguards are not allowed in the bar he replies, "They are 'off duty.' Actually they wanted to see the shrine." He points to the shrine and the two "guards" head towards it and stare at it for a while. Meanwhile Lucifer heads towards the bar.

"I'm afraid I have a disadvantage here," he tells the bartender. "I don't drink. I can't drink, actually as I lack the hardware." Placing a number of coins on the bar he continues, "But a bartender is worthy of his tip even if the patron can't patronize."

He paused for a moment while looking around the bar and then the room. "You know, I haven't been to a bar since I was a civilian." He paused for a second as if in deep thought. "Yes," he added "we were a civilian."

[WA Kitty Kops]

The Chief Inshpekshuuner rubbed himself against Ogenbond's shin. "Is yous having trouble with the boring guy, Mikael? I coulds scratch him for you, make him go away from your place."

"I don't think that will be necessary, Chief. Thank you, though."

"You's welcome," the half-grown black cat said and went to look for further entertainment.

“I haven’t a clue what Christmas is, so I’m gonna assume not,” he says, prying open the box and retrieving the first item, a DVD in a rental case.

And speaking of entertainment... Pouncing on the bar counter, the cat went to have a look into the box. "When you's done with the stuff in it, cans I have the box?" he asked and then turned to the barkeeper. "Neville, we's gonna have cream; inna bowl for me and inna mug for angry funny-tail guy here." Then he turned to Iksana, watching the silvery butterfly with more than passing interest. "Why's you got one ear wrapped up, and where'd you get the flappy toy sitting on it?"

[Essu Beti]

"Yes, one when--" Drane points to Iksana's box "--people give and receive presents. It was established to celebrate the birth of a prophet, in a handful of related religions that are common in my world, but for many people the holiday has lost all of its religious connotations." He looks up and flicks the pom pom on his hat. "Pity, some would say."

“So it’s a religious holiday that’s become an excuse to give people shit. I can work with that. Now, bearing in mind that I expect you to give something back, you are now the proud owner of-” Iksana cracks open the DVD case and immediately makes a face. “The Adventures of Chickie Tam? Wow, sucks to be you. Catch.” He then lightly tosses the DVD to Drane. “Who wants to claim the next item? Well, the next one that I don’t set aside for Essu Beti- I’m not giving out anything we’ll actually need on the island.”

And speaking of entertainment... Pouncing on the bar counter, the cat went to have a look into the box. "When you's done with the stuff in it, cans I have the box?" he asked and then turned to the barkeeper. "Neville, we's gonna have cream; inna bowl for me and inna mug for angry funny-tail guy here." Then he turned to Iksana, watching the silvery butterfly with more than passing interest. "Why's you got one ear wrapped up, and where'd you get the flappy toy sitting on it?"

And there’s the resident talking cat. But hey, the resident talking cat is buying him cream so sure he’s up for a chat. “Sure, you can have the box. Why not? It’s not like I’ll need it after I get everything sorted out- I imagine the useful shit will be vastly outnumbered by the useless shit.” The next item he pulls out is a large can of tuna, which he set down near the box. “That would have been a great time to pull out something extra-garbagey. Thanks for ruining the moment, box.”

“Anyway, my ear is fine. It just has a bad rash, and I scratched it too much so it had to be bandaged to stop me from doing that ag- wait, what flappy toy?” He reaches up to touch his ear. “That butterfly isn’t back, is it? For fuck’s sake, it’s just not leaving me alone!”

[New Vragoltinus]

Lucifer (a rather interesting android with a strange illuminated miter on his head) walks into the bar and two stocky robots follow behind. When informed that bodyguards are not allowed in the bar he replies, "They are 'off duty.' Actually they wanted to see the shrine." He points to the shrine and the two "guards" head towards it and stare at it for a while. Meanwhile Lucifer heads towards the bar.

Vernard's head turns when he detects the other technologically enhanced man walk into the bar, his gaze shifting between him and the two guards as they walked away. After looking up and down at him he quickly turned back to the bar, sitting there and relaxing.

"I'm afraid I have a disadvantage here," he tells the bartender. "I don't drink. I can't drink, actually as I lack the hardware." Placing a number of coins on the bar he continues, "But a bartender is worthy of his tip even if the patron can't patronize."

He paused for a moment while looking around the bar and then the room. "You know, I haven't been to a bar since I was a civilian." He paused for a second as if in deep thought. "Yes," he added "we were a civilian."

Vernard looks at the tip he put down before chuckling to himself "I see you're embracing the spirit of giving are we my good sir?" He chuckles again at his own remark despite trying to stop himself, "And you were in here once as a civilian? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't know if that's often or not, so I'm guessing it's not... Which is actually rather interesting. But besides inquiries, jokes and other riffraff, Vernard Brigant, pleased to meet another artificially enhanced person."
After his greeting he extends a gloved leather hand forward

[Whovian Tardisia]

... "Um, Mr. Paulson, you forget a very crucial factor," says Ogenbond. "The portal is not closed. You're in our time, not yours. There is no invasion force. Whatever mess Wallenburg got itself into in your time is nowhere near happening now. Ambassador, come with me, the office is the sixth one to the left on the second floor."

Ambassador Pink turns from Brigant back to the Wallenburgians. "Ah, of course. Mr. Paulson should come as well, he may have to be near the portal." Getting up from the bar, he turns to Paulson. "And don't worry about being erased. I'm sure the events you've been embroiled in recently have created at least one fixed point." As he made for the door, he sent K-9 a quick message, in Morse code of all things, with the light of his sonic.

Code: Select all

.-. . .- -.. -.--  -... .-.. ..- .

[Skylus]

And there's more time travel stuff. Great!

Madi looked over to Pink and the other two men.
"You said something about a portal?"
She got up and walked over to them.
"I've had some experience with portals and time travel. Do you mind if I go with you?"

[Imperial Polk County]

“So it’s a religious holiday that’s become an excuse to give people shit. I can work with that. Now, bearing in mind that I expect you to give something back, you are now the proud owner of-” Iksana cracks open the DVD case and immediately makes a face. “The Adventures of Chickie Tam? Wow, sucks to be you. Catch.” He then lightly tosses the DVD to Drane.”

Drane smiles. "Chickie Tam, eh? Sounds like something my granddaughter would like. Wait, hang on." He searches his pockets and comes up with a black dry erase marker. "Now this, this is a very special writing implement. Here, let me show you." He draws a quick doodle of a pair of bulls-eye targets on a nearby water glass. "Now watch." With a quick wipe of his finger, he erases part of the doodle, and now the targets look suspiciously like cartoonish human female breasts. "See? It's called a magic marker." Drane tosses the marker to Iksana. "Merry Christmas."

[Gratissima]

A well dressed, tired-looking man quietly enters the bar, and takes a seat towards the back of the room.
He settles in, and watches the ongoing conversations.

[Wallenburg]

Ambassador Pink turns from Brigant back to the Wallenburgians. "Ah, of course. Mr. Paulson should come as well, he may have to be near the portal." Getting up from the bar, he turns to Paulson. "And don't worry about being erased. I'm sure the events you've been embroiled in recently have created at least one fixed point." As he made for the door, he sent K-9 a quick message, in Morse code of all things, with the light of his sonic.

"Erased?" asks Paulson. "I wasn't worried before, but I think I am now."

Ogenbond shakes his head and forces Paulson out of his seat. "Come now, you'll be fine. Pink--at least, the man formerly known as Pink--did this all the time. Time is his business. And ambassadorial stuff, that's his business too. Come on, we can talk about things on the way to the office."

Reluctantly, Paulson nods and walks along with them.

And there's more time travel stuff. Great!

Madi looked over to Pink and the other two men.
"You said something about a portal?"
She got up and walked over to them.
"I've had some experience with portals and time travel. Do you mind if I go with you?"

"Sounds fine to me. Come with us, Madi, it's a bit of a walk, and you'll need us to get through security. Same goes for you, Pink."

[WA Kitty Kops]

“Anyway, my ear is fine. It just has a bad rash, and I scratched it too much so it had to be bandaged to stop me from doing that ag- wait, what flappy toy?” He reaches up to touch his ear. “That butterfly isn’t back, is it? For fuck’s sake, it’s just not leaving me alone!”

"Maybe you smells nice to it?" the Chief Inshpekshuuner suggested. In his experience butterflies flapped around smelly things like flowers.

Neville brought them the cream ordered, and the cat crouched down on the counter, curling his tail against his side, and set down to lapping. The box had already barfed up tuna, so it was clearly a box worth keeping an eye on.

OOC: I think you may know this cat or one just like it...

And no, it's not the Chief, it's just a picture I found online.

[Tzorsland]

Vernard looks at the tip he put down before chuckling to himself "I see you're embracing the spirit of giving are we my good sir?" He chuckles again at his own remark despite trying to stop himself, "And you were in here once as a civilian? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't know if that's often or not, so I'm guessing it's not... Which is actually rather interesting. But besides inquiries, jokes and other riffraff, Vernard Brigant, pleased to meet another artificially enhanced person."

"I see we might have a terminology problem here," Lucifer replied. "You see, we non organic sentient beings are divided into types and sub-types. There are two sub types of mono-brains. Those bulky guys over there staring at the shrine and those with a simple body type designed to do the the bulk of the work of Tzorsland. We tend to call them civilians. Now the brains of the civilians and the warrior is the same, it's just a different body type and generally a different set of skill sets and memory programs. I, on the other hand, am an ambassador type; I have two brains. Both of those brains were at one time individual single brains, in fact they were both civilians."

"Now there is a third type which has three brains. In order to provide balance it is common to incorporate a organic brain into the combination of two non organic brains, in part because it is seem as an improper promotion to go directly from one brain body to a three brain body and the alternative, finding three two brain bodies that want to recombine into two three brain bodies is a social engineering construct of order n squared. But I see you are an organic brain that doesn't mind giving up your organic infrastructure for non organic components, so, not that I am interested in becoming a leader type, well at least not that I want to publicly admit I am interested in becoming a leader type, but why not tell me a bit about yourself?"

[New Vragoltinus]

Vernard looks at the tip he put down before chuckling to himself "I see you're embracing the spirit of giving are we my good sir?" He chuckles again at his own remark despite trying to stop himself, "And you were in here once as a civilian? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't know if that's often or not, so I'm guessing it's not... Which is actually rather interesting. But besides inquiries, jokes and other riffraff, Vernard Brigant, pleased to meet another artificially enhanced person."

"I see we might have a terminology problem here," Lucifer replied. "You see, we non organic sentient beings are divided into types and sub-types. There are two sub types of mono-brains. Those bulky guys over there staring at the shrine and those with a simple body type designed to do the the bulk of the work of Tzorsland. We tend to call them civilians. Now the brains of the civilians and the warrior is the same, it's just a different body type and generally a different set of skill sets and memory programs. I, on the other hand, am an ambassador type; I have two brains. Both of those brains were at one time individual single brains, in fact they were both civilians."

"Now there is a third type which has three brains. In order to provide balance it is common to incorporate a organic brain into the combination of two non organic brains, in part because it is seem as an improper promotion to go directly from one brain body to a three brain body and the alternative, finding three two brain bodies that want to recombine into two three brain bodies is a social engineering construct of order n squared. But I see you are an organic brain that doesn't mind giving up your organic infrastructure for non organic components, so, not that I am interested in becoming a leader type, well at least not that I want to publicly admit I am interested in becoming a leader type, but why not tell me a bit about yourself?"

"Ah... Now I understand what you meant, but about me? Well I am Vernard Brigant, leader of New Vragoltinus which is placed in the middle of an asteroid field..." After saying that he scratches the back of his head, seemingly a bit embarrassed "While it may not be the ideal place for a country, it was the only place we could go since the rest of the planets in the system aren't habitable, they either freeze my joints or melt my circuits," As he mentions his joints he taps his elbow joint with his finger, and when he mentions his circuits he knocks his chest "which after experiencing both, I'll say is not pleasant." He sounds a bit sour as he says that "But, besides that, I came to power after the leader of Vragoltinus was assassinated by yours truly." He sounds kind of proud as he says that, putting his hand against his chest "Also, before you ask, it was needed since he planned on setting off all his warheads without firing them first, which as expected would kill everyone in the country..."

"I've been in power for a few months now, I'd say I'm doing a good job. I'm also a cyborg, well... I'm more of a robot or android, because nearly all of me is artificial in some way and most of my brain is downloaded and mechanical. I could go on about more things, but I've already turned this into a giant fit of rambling, so yeah, that's me."

[Essu Beti]

Drane smiles. "Chickie Tam, eh? Sounds like something my granddaughter would like. Wait, hang on." He searches his pockets and comes up with a black dry erase marker. "Now this, this is a very special writing implement. Here, let me show you." He draws a quick doodle of a pair of bulls-eye targets on a nearby water glass. "Now watch." With a quick wipe of his finger, he erases part of the doodle, and now the targets look suspiciously like cartoonish human female breasts. "See? It's called a magic marker." Drane tosses the marker to Iksana. "Merry Christmas."

Iksana raises his eyebrows. Not at the magic marker, though he of course accepted it- writing instruments were useful- or at the cartoonish breasts (even if he wasn't asexual, he'd find breasts about as appealing as a human would find a female baboon's butt swelling), but at the idea Chickie Tam, of all things, was appropriate for children. "Does your granddaughter like humor cruder than an oil well, coupled with extremely insulting racial, gender, and species caricatures? Chickie Tam is so infamous that the Honorable Prince banned both the cartoons and merchandise from South Tenahuari. If I had to guess, someone thought they were being funny by giving this away."

"Maybe you smells nice to it?" the Chief Inshpekshuuner suggested. In his experience butterflies flapped around smelly things like flowers.

Neville brought them the cream ordered, and the cat crouched down on the counter, curling his tail against his side, and set down to lapping. The box had already barfed up tuna, so it was clearly a box worth keeping an eye on.

OOC: I think you may know this cat or one just like it...

And no, it's not the Chief, it's just a picture I found online.

"I hope it isn't attracted to the stuff Marsanis gave me for my ear. I'd hate to have to stop using it because of that thing," Iksana says, grumbling. He reached for the next item, a faded pink dress sized for a small child. "Huh, could be useful. Think we can fit that on you, cat?"

As his own mug of cream had arrived at some point during his grousing, he ended his sentence by taking a sip of it. Mmm, that was nice.

((OOC: My cat looks just like that and does that exact thing, so wow, good find! : D ))

[Whovian Tardisia]

... "Sounds fine to me. Come with us, Madi, it's a bit of a walk, and you'll need us to get through security. Same goes for you, Pink."

"I probably could have managed your security on my own," Pink commented, flipping his sonic screwdriver around in his hand. "Redstone circuitry and all... but the gnomes would probably be a bit bothered by that." He held the door for the others, and noticed Madi. "Ah, good to see you again. What do you think of the new face?" he asked, hoping the details would click.

Meanwhile, K-9 had slipped into the Police Box, trying his best not to be seen by the departing party.

[Skylus]

... "Sounds fine to me. Come with us, Madi, it's a bit of a walk, and you'll need us to get through security. Same goes for you, Pink."

"I probably could have managed your security on my own," Pink commented, flipping his sonic screwdriver around in his hand. "Redstone circuitry and all... but the gnomes would probably be a bit bothered by that." He held the door for the others, and noticed Madi. "Ah, good to see you again. What do you think of the new face?" he asked, hoping the details would click.

Meanwhile, K-9 had slipped into the Police Box, trying his best not to be seen by the departing party.

Madi looked up towards Pink.
"...You regenerated? Your new look suits you, I think."
Madi noticed K-9 leaving but didn't say anything, instead focusing on Pink again.
"So, shall we be off, then?"

[Imperial Polk County]

"Does your granddaughter like humor cruder than an oil well, coupled with extremely insulting racial, gender, and species caricatures? Chickie Tam is so infamous that the Honorable Prince banned both the cartoons and merchandise from South Tenahuari. If I had to guess, someone thought they were being funny by giving this away."

Drane nods and smiles. "Ah. So, something more appropriate for my future son-in-law, it's probably his speed. That boy's a few napkins short of a picnic basket if you know what I mean, God only knows what my daughter sees-- Actually, no, I know exactly what my daughter sees in him."

[Tzorsland]

"I've been in power for a few months now, I'd say I'm doing a good job. I'm also a cyborg, well... I'm more of a robot or android, because nearly all of me is artificial in some way and most of my brain is downloaded and mechanical. I could go on about more things, but I've already turned this into a giant fit of rambling, so yeah, that's me."

"I like people who ramble; not all who ramble are lost, or something like that," Lucifer replied. It was hard to tell if he was smiling or not. There was always a half smile on his face, the result of lips that never moved. It was always so easy to tell a tech level from casual conversation and asteroid mining was definitely pre-trans-warp technology. "Congratulations on being in power. Tzorsland has given up all thoughts of planetary habitation a long time ago. We have clusters of hyper cylinders that can can hold a quarter of a billion residents. Twelve of them form one cluster and we have about twelve clusters in total."

"We spend most of our time in the relatively new cluster of the Pleiades, soaking up the gas giants and proto-stars for fuel for our fusion power systems. We maintain a variety of advanced technology industries to specific clients depending on the situation of those clients and who might be looking, if you know what I mean."

[Essu Beti]

Drane nods and smiles. "Ah. So, something more appropriate for my future son-in-law, it's probably his speed. That boy's a few napkins short of a picnic basket if you know what I mean, God only knows what my daughter sees-- Actually, no, I know exactly what my daughter sees in him."

“Eh, sure, show him it and see what he thinks. Maybe if he’s not familiar with all the stuff it makes fun of, he won’t feel so awkward watching it.”

[Wallenburg]

In the winding halls of the World Assembly...

"Thank you, Ambassador," says Mikael, nodding to Pink. He and Erik step out into the hallway and start for the nearest stairway as soon as the other two ambassadors have left the bar.

Mikael and Erik lead Madi and the new Rupert down the stairway and out onto the second floor. A short ways down the hallway, four Wallenburgian soldiers stand at guard around a large wooden door. Ogenbond waves to the officer among them. "Evening, Sergeant. We've got a few guests with us."

"Pleasure," the officer says, smiling. He opens the door to the office. "Have a good day, sir. Ambassadors."

The doors open onto a reception area, which in turn leads directly to the main body of the office. Embedded in the far wall, emitting a low purple glow, the portal waits, active and ready for use.

"Well, I'll be!" exclaims Paulson as he takes in the office space and the people within it. "This really is what it looked like in the '40s. I guess I really am out of my normal time."

"So, Ambassador Pink, what's the plan? If you need any help with the portal, we can get a technician here rather quickly."

[Herby]

Herby enters the bar with a bit of a bounce in her shocks, her body as shiny as ever.

Drivin’ through the snow, in a twelve horsepower car, o’er potholes we go, crap I blew a tire, hmm hmm hmm hmm hey hey HEY there you are Q-Bert! Ehhhh sorry I’m late, just wanted to look nice for our trip. So ehhhh we ready to go?