The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Araraukar]

OK, I hate to be a spoilsport, but as entertaining as I find this nation, it's worth noting that the Universal Translators^TM would translate Groot's dialogue into something more understandable, so unless he is literally saying 'I am Groot' over and over again, this shouldn't be possible.

OOC: Actually, the long-standing RP tradition is that the languages need to be added to the universal translator, and that as it involves bureaucracy, it can lead to languages not getting added very quickly/at all. That's why the Tikrr's language, for example, doesn't get translated by the general universal translators installed around WAHQ, but they're using their own. There have been people using actual translators (persons) before as well. So it's entirely possible, but I agree the joke wore off by the time the movie ended.

[Wallenburg]

OOC: Actually, the long-standing RP tradition is that the languages need to be added to the universal translator, and that as it involves bureaucracy, it can lead to languages not getting added very quickly/at all. That's why the Tikrr's language, for example, doesn't get translated by the general universal translators installed around WAHQ, but they're using their own. There have been people using actual translators (persons) before as well. So it's entirely possible, but I agree the joke wore off by the time the movie ended.

IC: Gerald enters the bar, picks up the newspaper he left behind earlier in the afternoon, and leaves to continue with his day.

OOC: What Ara said.

[Allied Sapients]

Ambassador Drane, carrying a half-gallon mason jar, enters the room and takes a seat at the bar. "Bartender! A screwdriver, please." He peels away and pockets the label from the jar, and extracts a few bills of foreign money. "Hmmm. Any idea how much one of these is worth?"

"No," answers Rirten, peering down at the bills curiously. "It can't be worth much, though. It looks flimsy. And why do you want a screwdriver? Are you fixing something?"

"Translator glitch," explains Ambassador Olsh from just close enough to interfere if Rirten goes overboard with their friendliness. "He's ordering an intoxicating drink."

"Oh," says the crocodilian alien. "Why are you ordering an intoxicating drink?"

[Imperial Polk County]

Ambassador Drane, carrying a half-gallon mason jar, enters the room and takes a seat at the bar. "Bartender! A screwdriver, please." He peels away and pockets the label from the jar, and extracts a few bills of foreign money. "Hmmm. Any idea how much one of these is worth?"

"No," answers Rirten, peering down at the bills curiously. "It can't be worth much, though. It looks flimsy. And why do you want a screwdriver? Are you fixing something?"

"Translator glitch," explains Ambassador Olsh from just close enough to interfere if Rirten goes overboard with their friendliness. "He's ordering an intoxicating drink."

"Oh," says the crocodilian alien. "Why are you ordering an intoxicating drink?"

Drane eyes the reptile momentarily. "Because... I... want a drink? And it's a bar? Where, you know, everyone goes, when they want a drink?" He holds up his drink to the aliens. "Behold, the screwdriver. One part vodka, two parts of pure Polkian sunshine, also known as orange juice. Bottoms up!" After taking a swig, he addresses the aliens again. "So, why are you talking gators here, if not to drink?

[The Great Disparate]

DISPAR can't help but notice the Reptilian Aliens and tries not to stare. He looks down into his drink and thinks 'I need to lay of the LSD'... He Shakes his head and speaks up.

"So Did All Thou hear of that LGBT Draft? Thee one that resides within the Room of Assembly? Crazy is it not? Ruinous of FreeSpeak."

[Allied Sapients]

((OOC: Only one of the aliens, Rirten, is crocodilian. The other, Ambassador Olsh, is more humanoid and is described more thoroughly in the link in my signature.))

"I am here to talk, of course!" says Rirten. "It is a good place to learn how to talk with non-Northerners, because it doesn't matter if I make mistakes here. Even big ones, because this place doesn't matter to the Coalition."

"It's not polite to say that out loud," gently corrects Olsh.

"See? I am learning many things."

[Imperial Polk County]

"I am here to talk, of course!" says Rirten. "It is a good place to learn how to talk with non-Northerners, because it doesn't matter if I make mistakes here. Even big ones, because this place doesn't matter to the Coalition."

"It's not polite to say that out loud," gently corrects Olsh.

"See? I am learning many things."

Drane nods to the humanoid. "That's a pretty good trick. See, back home we don't have too many talking gators, least not anymore, since we put up this wall between us and the rest of the peninsula. We still got quite a few gators around Lake Hancock, but I'm pretty sure none of those gators can talk." The Polkian stands from his barstool and approaches the humanoid, extending a hand. "Ambassador Herbert Drane, Imperial Polk County."

[Allied Sapients]

Drane nods to the humanoid. "That's a pretty good trick. See, back home we don't have too many talking gators, least not anymore, since we put up this wall between us and the rest of the peninsula. We still got quite a few gators around Lake Hancock, but I'm pretty sure none of those gators can talk." The Polkian stands from his barstool and approaches the humanoid, extending a hand. "Ambassador Herbert Drane, Imperial Polk County."

"I am not a-" There's a bizarre sound that might have been the alien's attempt to say 'gator' with a long snout and without the benefit of vocal cords. "I am a Northerner. I do not know what a-" They made that sound again. "-is, but it is not us. There is nothing like us around where you are from."

"He's making a comparison to one of his local animals. It's a very common thing for humans to do," explains Olsh. The jaran takes Drane's hand in her own nearly-skeletal one and gives it a gentle shake. "I am Lirn Jenht Olsh of the Coalition of Allied Sapients. The one you were speaking to is Rirten, Diplomat-in-Training. Their species has very recently joined the Coalition."

[Imperial Polk County]

"He's making a comparison to one of his local animals. It's a very common thing for humans to do," explains Olsh. The jaran takes Drane's hand in her own nearly-skeletal one and gives it a gentle shake. "I am Lirn Jenht Olsh of the Coalition of Allied Sapients. The one you were speaking to is Rirten, Diplomat-in-Training. Their species has very recently joined the Coalition."

"Pleasure to meet you... both," Drane says hesitatingly. "I'm sorry, it's not every day I encounter a talking gat-- umm reptile. I mean. Okay maybe I'll just shut up for a bit and get back to my drink, before I unintentionally cause an international incident between our nations."

[Neo Humanity]

"He's making a comparison to one of his local animals. It's a very common thing for humans to do," explains Olsh. The jaran takes Drane's hand in her own nearly-skeletal one and gives it a gentle shake. "I am Lirn Jenht Olsh of the Coalition of Allied Sapients. The one you were speaking to is Rirten, Diplomat-in-Training. Their species has very recently joined the Coalition."

"Pleasure to meet you... both," Drane says hesitatingly. "I'm sorry, it's not every day I encounter a talking gat-- umm reptile. I mean. Okay maybe I'll just shut up for a bit and get back to my drink, before I unintentionally cause an international incident between our nations."

"I don't think that would be a problem, ambassador." The diplomat from the Neo Humanity said while sat on his seat, "If such a trivial mistake could cause an 'international incident', then none of us would even be remotely free to be in this bar right now."

[Whovian Tardisia]

Groot tilts his head as he hears the words. "I am Groot?" he asks, as he approaches the projection near the phone box. He reaches out a branch, wondering if he could sense the touch of the projection, or if it was a mere projection of light. "I am Groot," he says, introducing himself.

"I am TARDIS.", she replied, passing the projection's hand through the branch to demonstrate. "I am TARDIS." she explained, gesturing to one of the electronic boxes on the ceiling that the translators used to manipulate sound waves. "I am TARDIS. I am TARDIS." she added, gesturing first to Groot, then to the other patrons. "I am TARDIS." she concluded, smiling and pointing to her own projection.

[Allied Sapients]

"He is correct, Ambassador Herbert Drane," explains Olsh. "There are no words that could cause an international incident between your nation and the Coalition, or between your nation and Rirten's nation. Actions, yes, but I have my doubts that, even if you wanted to, you would be able to damage Rirten's environment suit without the use of a tool that would trip the weapon's nullifiers."

"It is why I here," Rirten says. "It is hard talking with a non-Northerner. So many things that are considered rude or too informal for a diplomat to be saying. It seems very hard to be a human. Like what you said just now, you started to say what you wanted, but stopped! Because you thought you were being rude, yes? There's no need to worry about that. If you say something wrong, I will correct you. Very easy, yes?"

[States of Glory WA Office]

I am Groot

I am TARDIS.

Fairburn: I'm Spartacus!

[Groot]

"I am TARDIS.", she replied, passing the projection's hand through the branch to demonstrate. "I am TARDIS." she explained, gesturing to one of the electronic boxes on the ceiling that the translators used to manipulate sound waves. "I am TARDIS. I am TARDIS." she added, gesturing first to Groot, then to the other patrons. "I am TARDIS." she concluded, smiling and pointing to her own projection.

After one too many obscenities and the comment about his parentage, Groot trembles in anger. He has heard enough. "I AM GROOT!" he yells at the hologram, making an obscene gesture with two of his branches. He then leaves the bar.

[Imperial Polk County]

"He is correct, Ambassador Herbert Drane," explains Olsh. "There are no words that could cause an international incident between your nation and the Coalition, or between your nation and Rirten's nation. Actions, yes, but I have my doubts that, even if you wanted to, you would be able to damage Rirten's environment suit without the use of a tool that would trip the weapon's nullifiers."

"It is why I here," Rirten says. "It is hard talking with a non-Northerner. So many things that are considered rude or too informal for a diplomat to be saying. It seems very hard to be a human. Like what you said just now, you started to say what you wanted, but stopped! Because you thought you were being rude, yes? There's no need to worry about that. If you say something wrong, I will correct you. Very easy, yes?"

Drane tries to hide a frown; apparently his little joke about causing an international incident was lost in translation. "Yes. Very easy. Thank you." He quietly takes another sip of his screwdriver, then ponders a moment. "You said that it seems hard to be a human. I would think, for a human, it would be harder to be a... 'Northerner'. Think about it. A palmetto bug probably doesn't think it's very hard being a palmetto bug, because that's all it's been for its short life, is a palmetto bug. From its point of view, it would be much harder to be a flamingo, standing around on one leg, than it would be to be a palmetto bug. The flamingo, on the other hand, knows only what it's like to be a flamingo, and would probably think it much harder to be a palmetto bug, scurrying between the cracks and crevices on all six legs. Doesn't that make sense?"

[Potted Plants United]

"A palmetto bug probably doesn't think it's very hard being a palmetto bug, because that's all it's been for its short life, is a palmetto bug. From its point of view, it would be much harder to be a flamingo, standing around on one leg, than it would be to be a palmetto bug. The flamingo, on the other hand, knows only what it's like to be a flamingo, and would probably think it much harder to be a palmetto bug, scurrying between the cracks and crevices on all six legs. Doesn't that make sense?"

"Whereas I have experience of being a herb, a shrub, a bush and a tree," the hivemind said, pushing its speaker plant, a tall, robust plant growing in a large plant pot, closer to the discussion. "Of course, I also have the experience of being all those and more at the same time."

[Whovian Tardisia]

"I AM GROOT!" he yells at the hologram, making an obscene gesture with two of his branches. He then leaves the bar.

"I don't... But I thought... Oh, sod it." The TARDIS huffed through her projection. "I'm terrible at this. Who am I kidding? I'm a box! A machine with organic components! Not a person, a being. Just a consciousness. Pretending. Pretending..." She laid her projection's head down on the bar, and the lilting voice was replaced by what sounded more like a bubbling cry.

Meanwhile, several buildings away:

K-9 was rather pleased with himself. He was finally negotiating on equal footing with the one whom many would have previously considered his master. ...<I believe that salary will do me nicely. Now our only problem is disconnecting me from your funds.> Ambassador Pink sighed. "As convenient as you are, I suppose I will have to concede. It will require interfacing with the TARDIS. Are you alright with that?" <Whatever needs to be done, Ambassador.> K-9 responded. The two then began their long walk back towards the bar.

[Herby]

"I don't... But I thought... Oh, sod it." The TARDIS huffed through her projection. "I'm terrible at this. Who am I kidding? I'm a box! A machine with organic components! Not a person, a being. Just a consciousness. Pretending. Pretending..." She laid her projection's head down on the bar, and the lilting voice was replaced by what sounded more like a bubbling cry.

Herby, who's been watching from just outside the bar, slowly re-enters and approaches the projection.

Awwwww. Ehhhh. There there. I'm ehhhh I'm really sorry 'bout the ehhhh okay never mind never mind. Look kiddo, no I mean look at me. I'm a "box" with organic components too ya know. Not a person. And I like me jus' the way I am. I mean who wants to be a person anyway, they're so boring and bland and they look super weird when they got no clothes on. 'Specially the tall an' skinny ones. So why you wanna be a person, huh?

[Kyoki Chudoku]

A figure made her way slowly into the building, a pair of Gomon Hito bodyguards behind her. She didn't know exactly what to expect. To be yelled at, probably. Her nation wasn't exactly known for its adherence to international regulations. Nonetheless, she was technically a part of the World Assembly, and therefore decided she may as well take a look at this place. Under armed guards of course.

Upon entry, she saw a wide variety of figures. She didn't know the best way to proceed. Then she decided she should just introduce herself and hope nobody recognised her.

"Greetings, everyone. I am Aozora Chiyumi, Supreme Overlady of All Reality, of Kyoki Chudoku. I'm just here to take a look around I suppose."

[Allied Sapients]

Drane tries to hide a frown; apparently his little joke about causing an international incident was lost in translation. "Yes. Very easy. Thank you." He quietly takes another sip of his screwdriver, then ponders a moment. "You said that it seems hard to be a human. I would think, for a human, it would be harder to be a... 'Northerner'. Think about it. A palmetto bug probably doesn't think it's very hard being a palmetto bug, because that's all it's been for its short life, is a palmetto bug. From its point of view, it would be much harder to be a flamingo, standing around on one leg, than it would be to be a palmetto bug. The flamingo, on the other hand, knows only what it's like to be a flamingo, and would probably think it much harder to be a palmetto bug, scurrying between the cracks and crevices on all six legs. Doesn't that make sense?"

"Not at all," says Rirten, truthfully. "It is very hard to understand something when the translator doesn't have a meaning for more than word in a sentence. There is something standing on one leg, and something else scurrying on six, but more than that I do not know. Maybe if you used more generic words? Those are easier for it to find a translation for, I think."

[This City of Ours]

A figure made her way slowly into the building, a pair of Gomon Hito bodyguards behind her. She didn't know exactly what to expect. To be yelled at, probably. Her nation wasn't exactly known for its adherence to international regulations. Nonetheless, she was technically a part of the World Assembly, and therefore decided she may as well take a look at this place. Under armed guards of course.

Upon entry, she saw a wide variety of figures. She didn't know the best way to proceed. Then she decided she should just introduce herself and hope nobody recognised her.

"Greetings, everyone. I am Aozora Chiyumi, Supreme Overlady of All Reality, of Kyoki Chudoku. I'm just here to take a look around I suppose."

"Supreme Overlady of All Reality? They really do have ostentatious titles in other clusters," comments Kasam, whose nation was not in the World Assembly and thus adhered to approximately zero resolutions. She then calls out, "Hello! I am Kasam the Merchant-Ambassador, representing Khu Cua, Leader by Inheritance of the Laiispot neighborhood of the Old District cluster of the City. Let it be known that our neighborhoods need be no threat to each other and that there is no reason for your bodyguards to spit me like a rat caught out at night."

[Sierra Lyricalia]

"Greetings, everyone. I am Aozora Chiyumi, Supreme Overlady of All Reality, of Kyoki Chudoku. I'm just here to take a look around I suppose."

Steph looks up sharply. "All reality???" she gasps. "Boy, they makin' 'em ambitious these days, huh? Aiight, 'supreme overlady,' pull up a chair, leave your bodyguards in the bullpen, have a nice glass of something, and why don't you tell me all about how the entire swath of sapient nations in all the multiverse is somehow under your control despite literally everyone else in the room swearing allegiance to some other power. This'll be great. So what's your poison?"

[Kyoki Chudoku]

A figure made her way slowly into the building, a pair of Gomon Hito bodyguards behind her. She didn't know exactly what to expect. To be yelled at, probably. Her nation wasn't exactly known for its adherence to international regulations. Nonetheless, she was technically a part of the World Assembly, and therefore decided she may as well take a look at this place. Under armed guards of course.

Upon entry, she saw a wide variety of figures. She didn't know the best way to proceed. Then she decided she should just introduce herself and hope nobody recognised her.

"Greetings, everyone. I am Aozora Chiyumi, Supreme Overlady of All Reality, of Kyoki Chudoku. I'm just here to take a look around I suppose."

"Supreme Overlady of All Reality? They really do have ostentatious titles in other clusters," comments Kasam, whose nation was not in the World Assembly and thus adhered to approximately zero resolutions. She then calls out, "Hello! I am Kasam the Merchant-Ambassador, representing Khu Cua, Leader by Inheritance of the Laiispot neighborhood of the Old District cluster of the City. Let it be known that our neighborhoods need be no threat to each other and that there is no reason for your bodyguards to spit me like a rat caught out at night."

"Ah, greetings. Well, I hope we don't have to have any problems." she said. Given the circumstances, she knew her title would probably be considered rather egotistical, but she had used it for ages and wasn't about to change now.

Steph looks up sharply. "All reality???" she gasps. "Boy, they makin' 'em ambitious these days, huh? Aiight, 'supreme overlady,' pull up a chair, leave your bodyguards in the bullpen, have a nice glass of something, and why don't you tell me all about how the entire swath of sapient nations in all the multiverse is somehow under your control despite literally everyone else in the room swearing allegiance to some other power. This'll be great. So what's your poison?"

"Ethylene glycol, cyanide, and tetrodotoxin." she said, before realising it wasn't actual poison that was being asked of her. "Oh, I mean, I'm fine for now. Wait, you're not meant to have guards? Ugh. I get paranoid. Well, fine. And as for the multiverse, well, the explanation is simple. They're not. Just a fancy title really."

[This City of Ours]

"Ah, greetings. Well, I hope we don't have to have any problems." she said. Given the circumstances, she knew her title would probably be considered rather egotistical, but she had used it for ages and wasn't about to change now.

"You don't have any problems with me unless you plan to invade my "nation,"" Kasam says. "Which is unlikely, considering I've done nothing to your side and have nothing worth invading over. Besides, your forces would have to go through the door one at a time- we'd pick them off like the things in the dark pick off stragglers."

"No, I'm hoping for the exact opposite of a problem. What does your nation export?"

[Kyoki Chudoku]

"I'm not a warmonger. I don't go around invading people unless I have good reason. As for exports...well, we have very limited trade with non-allies for security reasons."