The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Skylus]

Lauren shook her head.
"No. and No. All of you have been wrong so far. I'll give you some hints. Triwizard Tournament. Battle of Hogwarts. Dumbledore's death.
Who's the Wizard that went through all that and lived? I'll give you another hint- the scar."

[Eriaroon Eugenic Republic]

A quadrapedal vehicle, slightly taller than the average tall human and about as wide in all directions as it was tall, lumbered its way into the building. Its black-coated plating was, in places, interrupted by vibrant cyan lights that appeared to serve no purpose other than make the thing look advanced and futuristic, but which actually collected valuable sensory information. In four equidistant places, roughly in the centre of each "side" of the spherical construction, were transparent eye-like structures. Between each of its large, three-pronged legs were two highly flexible artificial tentacles.

Inside the globe resided an unusual creature by human standards, although frequent visitors of this establishment would barely bat an eye at the thing. The Eriaroon was encased inside the sphere, surrounded by water as it manipulated holographic controls. The creature's twelve tentacles constantly moved from one area to the next, keeping the experimental vehicle on course. Beneath it in the vehicle was a joint-mind, a biological computer best described as a genetically engineered giant brain. Filters on the top of the craft changed air into water, and trickled a supply of nutrient paste to the craft's pilot.

This individual was Erialgos Rezalam Shurotoga Shumtuncha-Zelim, better known as Diviner of the Great Beyond. As supreme Eriaroon authority on all matters to do with the cosmos, she had been selected to go on a venture to examine an organisation known as the "World Assembly". And what better way to examine an organisation than to study its members in person? She wondered what wide variety of demons awaited her in times ahead. Due to peculiarities of the destination, she experienced unusual feelings of being in more than one location at the same time.

What a peculiar sensation. I can only hope the demons here are even more interesting.

The Eriaroon found herself staring ahead, at what appeared to be some kind of alcoholic beverage dispensary.

Posion. Maybe it's not toxic to demons? Or maybe they are degenerates? These are queries I shall answer by the time I depart this strange place.

Uncertain of exactly what to do, the creature somewhat awkwardly looked around, trying to remain inconspicuous- difficult in her ground travel casing, but if it would work in any location, it would be here. Erialgos' four eyes scanned the room for demons, although it was audio and tactile input that mattered most to her kind. Getting no closer to a decision on what action to take, the Diviner of the Great Beyond remained still, taking the passive approach to diplomacy.

Eriaroons tend to refer to alien lifeforms (to them) as "demons" due to their religion. It's not an insult and doesn't imply malevolence to them.

[Covenstone]

Lauren shook her head.
"No. and No. All of you have been wrong so far. I'll give you some hints. Triwizard Tournament. Battle of Hogwarts. Dumbledore's death.
Who's the Wizard that went through all that and lived? I'll give you another hint- the scar."

"Scar? But he was an awful lion! He killed Mufasa!!" Albertine pauses, then screws up her eyes, "Hold on. Why would a lion be fighting wizards? Was he an animagus?"

[Skylus]

Lauren shook her head.
"No. and No. All of you have been wrong so far. I'll give you some hints. Triwizard Tournament. Battle of Hogwarts. Dumbledore's death.
Who's the Wizard that went through all that and lived? I'll give you another hint- the scar."

"Scar? But he was an awful lion! He killed Mufasa!!" Albertine pauses, then screws up her eyes, "Hold on. Why would a lion be fighting wizards? Was he an animagus?"

I love this.

"No. But his father was."
Lauren then thought about it.
"I actually met Scar once. Tried to kill me, too. Actually, I met everyone. Literally. Everyone. Why?
I travel through time and to many, many worlds. I've been pretty much everywhere. But as to who I helped, it was the one and only Harry Potter himself."

[Covenstone]

"Scar? But he was an awful lion! He killed Mufasa!!" Albertine pauses, then screws up her eyes, "Hold on. Why would a lion be fighting wizards? Was he an animagus?"

I love this.

"No. But his father was."
Lauren then thought about it.
"I actually met Scar once. Tried to kill me, too. Actually, I met everyone. Literally. Everyone. Why?
I travel through time and to many, many worlds. I've been pretty much everywhere. But as to who I helped, it was the one and only Harry Potter himself."

Albertine shrugs.

"He wouldn't have got half as far without Hermione and Luna," she says, "now *there* was a cute couple. The party they threw when I was crowned Queen......" She trails off, lost in a memory, then blushes wildly as the memory reaches a certain point. "Lets just say her surname was definitely most appropriate."

She walks over to the bar, then turns round and walks back.

"SCAR'S FATHER WAS AN ANIMAGUS????"

[Glaeschland]

Jonathan looks at Thomas suspiciously but doesn't say anything.

Smith walks over, and studies Jonathan's face, and then turns to Greene. After blinking a few times, he turned to Jonathan.

"Jonathan, what was your mother's name?"

"Is this necessary?" Greene protested.

"Yes. Hush up, Tommy."

"That's not my name..."

"Thomas." Smith corrects. "Sorry."

"Elizabeth...why do you want to know?"

*snip*

Jonathan's ARP sees the new arrival and lets out an alarmed chirp, bewildered at the technology seemingly incomprehensibly more advanced than its own tech.

[Skylus]

I am now confused. Albertine must be very drunk, huh?

"....Nooooo? I don't even know who he was. You know what? You're drunk. Go home."

[Covenstone]

I am now confused. Albertine must be very drunk, huh?

"....Nooooo? I don't even know who he was. You know what? You're drunk. Go home."

Albertine giggles, then shakes her head.

"I don't drink, apart from milk-shakes, but I do enjoy playing with dangling modifiers," she says with a laugh. "So you've met The Boy Who Lived And Died And Lived Again And If His Best Friend Is Right Has A Very Cute Bum And A Nice Smile? What's he like?"

<ooc>I asked if Scar was an animagus. And you said "No but his father was." So I kind of ran with it from there. Sorry for the confusion.</ooc>

[Skylus]

"...Well...I first began to help him during his fourth year...you know, the Tournament and all of that...and I got to witness HIM come back...so...Yeah...helped him and the others live through the Battle of Hogwarts, you know...I actually "died" too. Near the end. Saw Dumbledore, we talked for a bit...then the two of us came back and dealt with Voldemort...and...then I went back to my time. He works as an Auror now, has three kids. Feel kinda weird, seeing him like that you, know, but that's time travel for you..."
Lauren then pulls out her wand and waves it in the air.
Several things fall out of seemingly nowhere onto the table.
Some of these items are:
A certain coin
A piece of broken glass
A certain Ring
a very old, dusty huge tome
a pamphlet talking about "The Quidditch World Cup of '94"
An issue of the Daily Prophet dated May 8th, 1996

[Wallenburg]

Gerald sits silently, entirely lost with regard to the several cultural references exchanged between the bar's patrons. "Unfortunately, your discussion has me confused. Are these individuals involved in the history of both of your nations?"

"...Well...I first began to help him during his fourth year...you know, the Tournament and all of that...and I got to witness HIM come back...so...Yeah...helped him and the others live through the Battle of Hogwarts, you know...I actually "died" too. Near the end. Saw Dumbledore, we talked for a bit...then the two of us came back and dealt with Voldemort...and...then I went back to my time. He works as an Auror now, has three kids. Feel kinda weird, seeing him like that you, know, but that's time travel for you..."
Lauren then pulls out her wand and waves it in the air.
Several things fall out of seemingly nowhere onto the table.
Some of these items are:
A certain coin
A piece of broken glass
A certain Ring
a very old, dusty huge tome
a pamphlet talking about "The Quidditch World Cup of '94"
An issue of the Daily Prophet dated May 8th, 1996

Gerald flinches a bit as the items materialize, but quickly becomes interested. "Well, what is this? Ah, is that newsprint? I always find that the best way to assess a nation's culture is by reading its news media. May I?"

[Skylus]

Gerald sits silently, entirely lost with regard to the several cultural references exchanged between the bar's patrons. "Unfortunately, your discussion has me confused. Are these individuals involved in the history of both of your nations?"

Snip

Gerald flinches a bit as the items materialize, but quickly becomes interested. "Well, what is this? Ah, is that newsprint? I always find that the best way to assess a nation's culture is by reading its news media. May I?"

"Oh, me? I'm from Earth. I'm just here cause I know people. As to that issue....sure. Go ahead."

[Whovian Tardisia]

snip

"Ahh, 94', that was it. Again, confusing." Pink muttered. He was slightly bemused at the sight of the Ring again, but it's continued existence no longer concerned him. He examines the article more closely, and chuckles a bit. "Ireland won without the snitch. I was astounded by that. Doesn't happen often, does it?"

[Eriaroon Eugenic Republic]

Erialgos noticed the reaction of one particular individual, who seemed startled at her presence. She couldn't blame him, considering she was in advanced ground traversal casing and this person appeared to be from an area with less technological advancement.

Deciding alarm was a good enough reaction to attempt a greeting, the Eriaroon forced her vehicle to stride slightly closer, trying hard to not look ominous but likely failing miserably.

"My condolences."

Wait, is that going to translate well? If they don't understand the truth of this world that might not sound like what it's supposed to.

"Also, my greetings."

The Diviner of the Great Beyond hoped desperately within her machine that this additional speech would add clarity rather than confusion.

[The New European Order]

"Tremendous!" Smith said, leaning back in his chair. "Which one?"

"Must've been Rincewind," Janis said, as she had just re-entered the Bar in time to hear part of the discussion. "He's the only wizard to ever have actually changed history. Neville, prepare two cocoas for me and pour them in the same tall glass, I'm really thirsty!"

Then she sat down on a bar stool. She was still wearing the fire-resistant clothing and goggles from before, though she'd pushed the latter up onto her forehead. Her clothes and face were sooty, but she appeared to be in good mood.

OOC: No, Araraukar isn't in the Discworld reality, it's just that Janis views time travel backwards about as probable as fairy tales. The book series does exist on the planet she's from, however, and she quite enjoyed reading them.

"Sorry, I must have forgotten... What's with the goggles, suit, and soot? Not your usual getup, I don't think." Smith said, leaning back in his chair, while Thomas approached quickly, sitting down as well.

[Wallenburg]

"Oh, me? I'm from Earth. I'm just here cause I know people. As to that issue....sure. Go ahead."

"Thank you, ma'am." Gerald reaches over and takes the newspaper in his large hands. Unfolding the front page, he raises his eyebrows in surprise at the magical print. "Moving pictures! On paper! Now, that's not something you see very often."

[Araraukar]

"Sorry, I must have forgotten... What's with the goggles, suit, and soot? Not your usual getup, I don't think." Smith said, leaning back in his chair, while Thomas approached quickly, sitting down as well.

"Oh, I was just sorting out an issue that Ogenbond had," she replied airily and drank deep from her tall glass of cocoa when Neville delivered it. "One should always be helpful when the opportunity knocks, right? Besides, I was trained by the ABC, I know how to handle errant paperwork."

[Covenstone]

"Sorry, I must have forgotten... What's with the goggles, suit, and soot? Not your usual getup, I don't think." Smith said, leaning back in his chair, while Thomas approached quickly, sitting down as well.

"Oh, I was just sorting out an issue that Ogenbond had," she replied airily and drank deep from her tall glass of cocoa when Neville delivered it. "One should always be helpful when the opportunity knocks, right? Besides, I was trained by the ABC, I know how to handle errant paperwork."

"You trained with the Alliance of Blind Clerics as well?" Albertine asks, "small world!"

[The New European Order]

"Elizabeth...why do you want to know?"

"Ah, It's fine then. Never mind." Smith said, grinning. "Sorry for the disturbance."
Smith looks at the ARP, as does Greene.
"It looks a bit cute, they way it stares at things, you know..." Greene said.

[The New European Order]

"Sorry, I must have forgotten... What's with the goggles, suit, and soot? Not your usual getup, I don't think." Smith said, leaning back in his chair, while Thomas approached quickly, sitting down as well.

"Oh, I was just sorting out an issue that Ogenbond had," she replied airily and drank deep from her tall glass of cocoa when Neville delivered it. "One should always be helpful when the opportunity knocks, right? Besides, I was trained by the ABC, I know how to handle errant paperwork."

"Oh dear..." Greene said. "There wasn't too much fire, was there?"

"Oh dear..." Smith said. "There wasn't enough fire, was there?"

[Excidium Planetis]

The striped cat narrowed his eyes almost to a point of closing his eyelids - the cat body language equivalent of a smile - before opening his eyes properly again. "So if I has a paper saying you's my pet, then you's my pet?" He sounded amused.

"Provided it was a legal document, then yes." Blackbourne whispers, noticing that Janis has entered the bar. "I could dispute it, of course, and it would be taken to court, so if I wasn't in the jurisdiction of whoever issued the paper, then it may not apply, but if Araraukar had issued a document saying that you were Miss Leveret's pet, and you were in Araraukar, potentially an Araraukarian court could rule that you were legally her pet."

[Araraukar]

"You trained with the Alliance of Blind Clerics as well?" Albertine asks, "small world!"

"Having visually disabled clerics sounds like a bad idea," Janis said, mentally rolling her eyes at the weirdness of alien societies and at the thought of having clerics at all. "I'm the end product of Araraukarian Bureaucratic Corps¹, which is the vast governmental department of everything to do with bureaucracy. The diplomatic department is just a tiny sliver of it."

¹OOC: Since Araraukarian is essentially Finnish, it would be "Araraukarin Byrokraattijoukot", so just "AB", or possibly "ABJ". But I find the English shortening "ABC" to be much funnier.

All Araraukarian civil servants are expected to memorize the core statements of the Araraukarian bureaucracy and to be able to recite them at any moment. At current count there are 5483 of them, but fortunately nobody ever remembers to ask anyone to recite them.

[Covenstone]

"You trained with the Alliance of Blind Clerics as well?" Albertine asks, "small world!"

"Having visually disabled clerics sounds like a bad idea," Janis said, mentally rolling her eyes at the weirdness of alien societies and at the thought of having clerics at all. "I'm the end product of Araraukarian Bureaucratic Corps¹, which is the vast governmental department of everything to do with bureaucracy. The diplomatic department is just a tiny sliver of it."

¹OOC: Since Araraukarian is essentially Finnish, it would be "Araraukarin Byrokraattijoukot", so just "AB", or possibly "ABJ". But I find the English shortening "ABC" to be much funnier.

All Araraukarian civil servants are expected to memorize the core statements of the Araraukarian bureaucracy and to be able to recite them at any moment. At current count there are 5483 of them, but fortunately nobody ever remembers to ask anyone to recite them.

"That does make more sense, now that I think about it," Albertine admits with a smile, "because the Covenstone ABC tends to deal more with learning magical rituals than bureaucracy and paperwork. Although there is a lot of setting paper on fire in some of the rituals, and I suppose that could count as paperwork, could it not?"

[Valorem]

"That does seem to be the preferred Araraukarian method for dealing with paperwork, at least. Certainly more fun than the Valorian method."

[The New European Order]

"That does seem to be the preferred Araraukarian method for dealing with paperwork, at least. Certainly more fun than the Valorian method."

"And what would that be?" Smith asked, bemused.

[Valorem]

"Alas, sitting at the desk with an ample supply of strong coffee until all of the paperwork has been stamped, signed, and filed properly. As I said, not nearly as fun as the Araraukarian method. I doubt the Diplomatic Corps would much appreciate me taking a flamethrower to the piles of paperwork though, no matter how much I'd enjoy it some days."
Gunther pauses
"Say, Janis, you wouldn't happen to need any help chasing down some rogue paperwork would you?"