[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Araraukar]

*throws rocks of an increasing size at the proposal*

That won't do any good. Everyone knows that paper covers rock.

*throws red-hot rocks of an increasing size at the proposal* Fire conquers all!

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

That won't do any good. Everyone knows that paper covers rock.

*throws red-hot rocks of an increasing size at the proposal* Fire conquers all!

Nah... the power of ROCK conquers all. But rock and metal bands do use plenty of pyrotechnics these days.

[Oerstland]

All this talk about rocks has inspired me to write another GA proposal!

General Assembly Resolution

Resolution Beats Rock Act

A resolution to establish the rules of rock-paper-scissors internationally.

Category: Rock, Paper, Scissors | Strength: Paper | Proposed by: Oerstland

RULES:

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY,

Aware of that "rock, paper scissors" is one of the WA's most popular activities.

Concerned that no GA resolution has been written to settle on the rules of this activity.

Also concerned that no alternative exists, should someone not know the rules.

Convinced that by establishing and teaching the rules of "rock, paper, scissors" worldwide, we can with 100% certainty challenge another to it.

This resolution hereby defines:
i. "Rock, Paper, Scissors" as the WA's most popular pass time activity.

ii. "Rock, Paper, Scissors" as a sport.

iii. "Rock, Paper, Scissors" as highly unrealistic, and demands "Paper" be changed to "Plastic Bag".

This resolution also mandates:

i. The establishing of the World Assembly Rock, Paper, Scissors Commitee (WARPSC) to monitor and organize matches of "Rock, Paper, Scissors".

ii. Tasks the WARPSC with establishing the General Assembly Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament.

iii. The establishment of the Rock, Paper, Scissors Fund (RPSF), which all member nations of the WA are required to contribute to.

iv. That the RPSF be used for rewarding the winners of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" matches.

[Unnamedland]

[total amount of days in your nation's official calendar]/(27683-27681+2+77/11-7)+[leap days, if applicable]*1,

To simplify this: [total amount of days in your nation's official calendar]/4+[leap days, if applicable].

Oh, I messed that up. I wanted to make that so that every day is kitten petting day.

[States of Glory WA Office]

To simplify this: [total amount of days in your nation's official calendar]/4+[leap days, if applicable].

Oh, I messed that up. I wanted to make that so that every day is kitten petting day.

Well, now you've divided by zero, so there no longer exists a universe upon which the resolution may act.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Yellow Shirt Wearing Act
Category: Social Justice | Strength: Strong

The yellow World Assembly,

HEREBY:

1. REQUIRES everyone in WA member nations to wear a yellow shirt,
   
   
2. DECLARES that this will make the world uniform colour.

[Potted Plants United]

*snip*

OOC: I use it as an example to GA newbies. And as part of the "how to tell IC from OOC" in my 10 Steps Into GA.

[Umeria]

The Unfinished Clause Ac
Category: Political | Strength:

The World

Noting that

Realizing that the WA can fix

Hereb

Mandates

Requires that all resolutions must be written in this

[States of Glory WA Office]

The Unfinished Clause Ac
Category: Political | Strength:

The World

Noting that

Realizing that the WA can fix

Hereb

Mandates

Requires that all resolutions must be written in this

Fairburn: Ambassador Lockwood, I am left in no doubt that this proposal is most

[States of Glory WA Office]

A Promotion of Automobile Manufacturing
Category: Education and Creativity | Area of Effect: Cultural Heritage

NOTING that automobiles were the first modes of transport of society in a time where sea travel was dangerous and horse-drawn carriages few and far between,

REVVING to the complexity of social ritual and development that sprang from the importance of automobiles, including revving, the ritual offering of free rides to hitchhikers, and the ever-popular social act of chatting with taxi drivers rather than going home,

AMAZED by all of the innovation that stemmed from this early science of automobile manufacturing, including the creation of limousines, racecars, and culturally unique vehicles,

PRAISING the diligent motor oil that transforms delectable pistons and gears balanced by stretchy, safe seatbelts into a machine worth celebrating, and

BLASTING some nitromethane mixed with methanol in anticipation,

The World Assembly HEREBY:

1. ESTABLISHES the International Automobile Manufacturing Appreciation and Promotion Program (IAMAPP) as a subcommittee of the World Assembly Trust for Cultural Heritage (WATCH) to promote knowledge and appreciation of the world's diverse automobile, van, and lorry styles, and tasks it with:
   
   
   1. Developing standardized tools, methods, and processes for the structured evaluation, ranking and feedback of automobiles, vans, and lorries by establishing a repository of known manufacturing styles, including a guide for colour, smell, aerodynamics, octane rating, and parts,
      
      
   2. Organizing and coordinating with member states to promote automobile manufacturing competitions and test drives at cultural events, both international and domestic,
      
      
   3. Funding research into historical impact of automobiles and automobile manufacturing on societies, and preserving techniques that may otherwise be lost to time,
   
   
2. IMPLORES nations to make automobile manufacturing equipment and parts for the small-scale manufacturer available for personal production and use,
   
   
3. URGES nations to encourage local communities to establish automobile manufacturing and test driving events representative of their local automobile manufacturing heritage to create an appreciation for both local and international automobiles,
   
   
4. STRONGLY ENCOURAGES nations that have banned the driving of automobiles to lift or adjust those restrictions to accommodate use of manufactured vehicles, that their citizens might enjoy the factory-produced goods of civilization.

Fairburn: Truly a masterclass in proposal writing! Truly a pressing international issue for the World Assembly!

Barbera: Hey, at least cars are safe so long as they are not driven by people who have recently consumed alcohol. Don't drink and drive, kids!

[Araraukar]

A Promotion of Automobile Manufacturing
Category: Education and Creativity | Area of Effect: Cultural Heritage

NOTING that automobiles were the first modes of transport of society in a time where sea travel was dangerous and horse-drawn carriages few and far between,

REVVING to the complexity of social ritual and development that sprang from the importance of automobiles, including revving, the ritual offering of free rides to hitchhikers, and the ever-popular social act of chatting with taxi drivers rather than going home,

AMAZED by all of the innovation that stemmed from this early science of automobile manufacturing, including the creation of limousines, racecars, and culturally unique vehicles,

PRAISING the diligent motor oil that transforms delectable pistons and gears balanced by stretchy, safe seatbelts into a machine worth celebrating, and

BLASTING some nitromethane mixed with methanol in anticipation,

The World Assembly HEREBY:

1. ESTABLISHES the International Automobile Manufacturing Appreciation and Promotion Program (IAMAPP) as a subcommittee of the World Assembly Trust for Cultural Heritage (WATCH) to promote knowledge and appreciation of the world's diverse automobile, van, and lorry styles, and tasks it with:
   
   
   1. Developing standardized tools, methods, and processes for the structured evaluation, ranking and feedback of automobiles, vans, and lorries by establishing a repository of known manufacturing styles, including a guide for colour, smell, aerodynamics, octane rating, and parts,
      
      
   2. Organizing and coordinating with member states to promote automobile manufacturing competitions and test drives at cultural events, both international and domestic,
      
      
   3. Funding research into historical impact of automobiles and automobile manufacturing on societies, and preserving techniques that may otherwise be lost to time,
   
   
2. IMPLORES nations to make automobile manufacturing equipment and parts for the small-scale manufacturer available for personal production and use,
   
   
3. URGES nations to encourage local communities to establish automobile manufacturing and test driving events representative of their local automobile manufacturing heritage to create an appreciation for both local and international automobiles,
   
   
4. STRONGLY ENCOURAGES nations that have banned the driving of automobiles to lift or adjust those restrictions to accommodate use of manufactured vehicles, that their citizens might enjoy the factory-produced goods of civilization.

Fairburn: Truly a masterclass in proposal writing! Truly a pressing international issue for the World Assembly!

Barbera: Hey, at least cars are safe so long as they are not driven by people who have recently consumed alcohol. Don't drink and drive, kids!

OOC: I originally wrote "knowing SoG" in that post, but thought to change it to a more general "people", in case someone beat you to it.
EDIT: I'm totally not online at 7 am because I hadn't managed to get enough sleep again... *shifty eyes* ...I'll just go and try to get some more sleep...
After correcting all the typos. *sigh*

[Bears Armed]

A Promotion of Automobile Manufacturing
Category: Education and Creativity | Area of Effect: Cultural Heritage

NOTING that automobiles were the first modes of transport of society in a time where sea travel was dangerous and horse-drawn carriages few and far between,

REVVING to the complexity of social ritual and development that sprang from the importance of automobiles, including revving, the ritual offering of free rides to hitchhikers, and the ever-popular social act of chatting with taxi drivers rather than going home,

AMAZED by all of the innovation that stemmed from this early science of automobile manufacturing, including the creation of limousines, racecars, and culturally unique vehicles,

PRAISING the diligent motor oil that transforms delectable pistons and gears balanced by stretchy, safe seatbelts into a machine worth celebrating, and

BLASTING some nitromethane mixed with methanol in anticipation,

The World Assembly HEREBY:

1. ESTABLISHES the International Automobile Manufacturing Appreciation and Promotion Program (IAMAPP) as a subcommittee of the World Assembly Trust for Cultural Heritage (WATCH) to promote knowledge and appreciation of the world's diverse automobile, van, and lorry styles, and tasks it with:
   
   
   1. Developing standardized tools, methods, and processes for the structured evaluation, ranking and feedback of automobiles, vans, and lorries by establishing a repository of known manufacturing styles, including a guide for colour, smell, aerodynamics, octane rating, and parts,
      
      
   2. Organizing and coordinating with member states to promote automobile manufacturing competitions and test drives at cultural events, both international and domestic,
      
      
   3. Funding research into historical impact of automobiles and automobile manufacturing on societies, and preserving techniques that may otherwise be lost to time,
   
   
2. IMPLORES nations to make automobile manufacturing equipment and parts for the small-scale manufacturer available for personal production and use,
   
   
3. URGES nations to encourage local communities to establish automobile manufacturing and test driving events representative of their local automobile manufacturing heritage to create an appreciation for both local and international automobiles,
   
   
4. STRONGLY ENCOURAGES nations that have banned the driving of automobiles to lift or adjust those restrictions to accommodate use of manufactured vehicles, that their citizens might enjoy the factory-produced goods of civilization.

Label that as 'Free Trade (Mild)' instead and I'd be tempted to consider it legal...

[Araraukar]

Label that as 'Free Trade (Mild)' instead and I'd be tempted to consider it legal...

OOC: SP might claim plagiarism against SoG, though, as that's a direct parody of his beer proposal.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Label that as 'Free Trade (Mild)' instead and I'd be tempted to consider it legal...

OOC: SP might claim plagiarism against SoG, though, as that's a direct parody of his beer proposal.

OOC: Aye, that and the fact that this has been confirmed to be a joke proposal.

Semi-serious suggestion: Exclude parody from the plagiarism rule and replace the 'Joke Proposal' test with the 'Bloody Stupid' test.

[Calladan]

Title : A Treatise On Repeals
Category : Common Sense
Strength : Like The Hand Of God

Noting that repeals are becoming more common place,

Noting that sometimes you can see something repealed before it is passed,

Wondering if this is good for The WA,

Reflecting that democracy really should be more democratic than this,

The WA hereby :-

1. Mandates that a resolution can only be repealed if the number of nations voting to repeal is 105% of the number of nations that voted to pass it.

2. Mandates that the exception to this rule is if the person who proposed the original resolution also proposes the repeal.

Title:A Blocker To End All Blockers
Category: All Categories
Strength: There are no words to do this justice.

Noting that there are boat load of resolutions on file already,

Realising it is harder to find subjects to write new laws about,

Understanding that some nations just dislike The WA and yet still joined (for reasons passing understanding),

The WA hereby :-

1. Mandates that any subject of international law that has not already been ruled on will now remain the purview of member nations, preventing future WA resolutions on the given subject.

2. Should existing resolutions be repealed, the subject of said resolutions will become the purview of member nations, preventing future WA resolutions on the said subject.

[Umeria]

No Switching Sides Act
Category: Political Stability | Strength: Strong

The World Assembly,

Noting that loyalty is good;

Recognizing that being a fickle, valueless traitor is bad;

Hereby

1) Requires that everyone who voted for a resolution must vote against its repeal;

2) Mandates that everyone who voted against a resolution must vote for its repeal; and

3) Blocks any further meta-repeal legislation.

[Draconae]

Here's my first one. Because WHY NOT!

Ban Net Neutrality Acts

---

Category: Advancement of Industry | Strength: Weaker than strong

The World Assembly,

NOTING the recent spate of proposals and repeals relating to Net Neutrality;

CONVINCED that the proliferation of repeal-and-replace is bad for society and the World Assembly;

BELIEVING that ISPs should be regulated by somebody;

HEREBY:

1. REPEALS GAR #398 'Internet Neutrality Act',
2. BANS Net Neutrality from ever being the subject of legislation again,
3. DEFINES Net Neutrality as anything to do with the Internet,
4. DECLARES that ISPs should do whatever they want, and
5. GIVES all CEOs, lawyers, and support workers of ISPs a free Orange Julius to make up for all the trouble we've caused.

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

Here's my first one. Because WHY NOT!

Ban Net Neutrality Acts

---

Category: Advancement of Industry | Strength: Weaker than strong

The World Assembly,

NOTING the recent spate of proposals and repeals relating to Net Neutrality;

CONVINCED that the proliferation of repeal-and-replace is bad for society and the World Assembly;

BELIEVING that ISPs should be regulated by somebody;

HEREBY:

1. REPEALS GAR #398 'Internet Neutrality Act',
2. BANS Net Neutrality from ever being the subject of legislation again,
3. DEFINES Net Neutrality as anything to do with the Internet,
4. DECLARES that ISPs should do whatever they want, and
5. GIVES all CEOs, lawyers, and support workers of ISPs a free Orange Julius to make up for all the trouble we've caused.

As someone who advocates for net neutrality in real life on the grounds that it's a protection of free speech, and as someone who believes that free speech and open discourse are the foundations of democracy, I'm really glad that's a joke proposal and nothing more.

[Draconae]

As someone who advocates for net neutrality in real life on the grounds that it's a protection of free speech, and as someone who believes that free speech and open discourse are the foundations of democracy, I'm really glad that's a joke proposal and nothing more.

Well, yeah. Agreed.

[Araraukar]

No Switching Sides Act
Category: Political Stability | Strength: Strong

The World Assembly,

Noting that loyalty is good;

Recognizing that being a fickle, valueless traitor is bad;

Hereby

1) Requires that everyone who voted for a resolution must vote against its repeal;

2) Mandates that everyone who voted against a resolution must vote for its repeal; and

3) Blocks any further meta-repeal legislation.

Lacks definitions of "fickle" and "traitor"...

[Mount Kadath]

Nyarlathotep the Crawling Chaos rises (Solidifies?) to address (Insanify?) the (Suddenly non-Eucledian) Chamber:

"For far too long have problematic proposals with numerous trade-offs and heavy legalese taken up our time. No more, we say! With this proposal, we solve all problems, forever!"

Repeal GAR#1, "The World Assembly"
Category: Bookkeeping. Strength: Sweeping.

REALISING that many people with opinions and disagreements are writing GA proposals,

IDENTIFYING the subject of disagreement as 'reality',

DEFINING 'reality' as that which can be independently verified to exist,

FURTHER REALISING that ever since reality came into being, some people have either not existed or been angry,

COMMITTED to removing anger worldwide,

FURTHER IDENTIFYING the World Assembly as a source for stabilising reality,

DISGUSTED by the amount of reality-affirming legislation,

DEDICATED to removing legislation that creates anger by supporting reality,

OPINING that the easiest way to get rid of a problem is to tackle it at its root,

FURTHER OPINING that sanity is vastly overrated, and that abandoning reality, on a whole, is good for you,

NOTING that the root of the World Assembly, and thus sanity, reality and anger, is General Assembly Resolution #1,

STILL DANCING THROUGH THE SWEET MEADOWS OF ETERNAL BLISS,

HEREBY REPEALS GAR#1, "The World Assembly".

"There, now we can go back to sleep and no longer have to vote on silly repeals of net neutrality, discuss bans on ideology, torment various delegates with defenestration or accuse each other of planning to set off fire alarms. Oh, and have anyone seen my silver key?"

[Covenstone]

Title : Resolutions In Poetical Form.
Area : Gameplay
Strength : Poetic

Noting that it is long past time that resolutions should be made to rhyme,

Saddened that no one contemplates the poetic skills of our member states,

Hoping that with this cunning plan that this line will not go badly wrong and break out of the established scan,

The World Assembly does here say that from now on until its final day :-

Proposals must be in poetic form,

They must rhyme and have internal meter,

This will be now required as the norm,

For we find it to be so much neater,

Those that do not meet these rules now set down,

Whatever the reasons, many or few,

Will be set on fire and run out of town,

Then summarily kicked out of the queue.

(There is a chance I can't sleep and my brain is going loopy.)

[New Serrland]

Convention on The Grave and Present Danger Posed By Falling Up Stairs
Category: Walking/Climbing Safety | Strength: Pressing

NOTING WITH HORROR that too little attention is paid to the dangers associated with climbing up stairs,

APPALLED that concern with stair based safety protocols mostly revolve around descending,

AMAZED that there have been no serious efforts to combat the menace of ambulatory ascension,

RECALLING that just this morning the author was carrying a moderately heavy box and fell while traversing the stairs in an upwards direction,

REGRETFULLY REMEMBERING that said author had seen his roommate do the same thing not one week prior,

SHAMEFULLY ADMITTING that said author was climbing with far too much vigor and energy,

The General Assembly hereby:

DEMANDS that stair users take more care in their climbs,

ADMONISHES those who snicker, chuckle, chortle, guffaw, or otherwise express amusement at stair-faller-uppers,

IMPLORES nations to provide padded outfits for those who must ascend stairs at a faster-than-safe speed

WISHES luck to those who have to carry heavy, oddly shaped, poorly distributed, or otherwise cumbersome items up stairs.

[Grays Harbor]

Convention on The Grave and Present Danger Posed By Falling Up Stairs
Category: Walking/Climbing Safety | Strength: Pressing

NOTING WITH HORROR that too little attention is paid to the dangers associated with climbing up stairs,

APPALLED that concern with stair based safety protocols mostly revolve around descending,

AMAZED that there have been no serious efforts to combat the menace of ambulatory ascension,

RECALLING that just this morning the author was carrying a moderately heavy box and fell while traversing the stairs in an upwards direction,

REGRETFULLY REMEMBERING that said author had seen his roommate do the same thing not one week prior,

SHAMEFULLY ADMITTING that said author was climbing with far too much vigor and energy,

The General Assembly hereby:

DEMANDS that stair users take more care in their climbs,

ADMONISHES those who snicker, chuckle, chortle, guffaw, or otherwise express amusement at stair-faller-uppers,

IMPLORES nations to provide padded outfits for those who must ascend stairs at a faster-than-safe speed

WISHES luck to those who have to carry heavy, oddly shaped, poorly distributed, or otherwise cumbersome items up stairs.

Padded outfits alone will not solve this heartbreaking problem. There must be government enforced safety protocols, monitored 24/7 by surveillance equipment, and with rapid response teams teams to detain violators of the mandated safety procedures.

[New Serrland]

Convention on The Grave and Present Danger Posed By Falling Up Stairs
Category: Walking/Climbing Safety | Strength: Pressing

NOTING WITH HORROR that too little attention is paid to the dangers associated with climbing up stairs,

APPALLED that concern with stair based safety protocols mostly revolve around descending,

AMAZED that there have been no serious efforts to combat the menace of ambulatory ascension,

RECALLING that just this morning the author was carrying a moderately heavy box and fell while traversing the stairs in an upwards direction,

REGRETFULLY REMEMBERING that said author had seen his roommate do the same thing not one week prior,

SHAMEFULLY ADMITTING that said author was climbing with far too much vigor and energy,

The General Assembly hereby:

DEMANDS that stair users take more care in their climbs,

ADMONISHES those who snicker, chuckle, chortle, guffaw, or otherwise express amusement at stair-faller-uppers,

IMPLORES nations to provide padded outfits for those who must ascend stairs at a faster-than-safe speed

WISHES luck to those who have to carry heavy, oddly shaped, poorly distributed, or otherwise cumbersome items up stairs.

Padded outfits alone will not solve this heartbreaking problem. There must be government enforced safety protocols, monitored 24/7 by surveillance equipment, and with rapid response teams teams to detain violators of the mandated safety procedures.

I would also suggest requiring at least 15 minutes a day of televised warnings about this menace (preferably narrated by the soon-to-be-retired Kenny Rogers). After all - who can resist the stair safety wisdom imparted by reworking songs to include such lines as "you picked a fine time to safely ascend the staircase, Lucille" and "Know when to walk upstairs, know when not to run"