[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Saveyou Island]

Repeal "Freedom of Marriage act"
Description: GA#15 "Freedom of Marriage act" shall be rendered null and void
Argument:
Noting NatSov
Hereby repeals Freedom of Marriage act

Beautiful.

[The Shaved Pussycat]

Ban Mew-Clear Weapons

Global Disarmament/Significant


The World Assembly

Understanding that some nations have stockpiles of mew-clear weapons

Reasoning that mew-clear selectively target a single group of creatures, hence are discriminatory and have potential use in genocide

Believing that such weapons have no place in civilized society

Defining
1. "cat" as any member of the biological family Felidae
2. "mew-clear weapons" as weapons that only or primarily target cats

Hereby
1. Bans the usage or storage of Mew-clear weapons by any member nation
2. Requires that nations with existing stockpiles either destroy or hand over those stockpiles to the World Assembly
3. Encourages all nations to place a cat-based insignia on their national flag as a sign of support of this resolution

[Charax Stark]

Repeal GA #1 - The World Assembly

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY,
PRAISES the noble goals behind the establishment of the WA
FEELS that it's gone a bit pear shaped, and we should have really figured that out around the time of GAR#2 getting all up in our NatSov
HEREBY REPEALS GA #1

[Nigerian Kenya]

Repeal GAR #2 (Rights and Duties of WA States)

---- GAR #2 (Rights and Duties of WA States) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

REALIZING the age and importance of this resolution, but

BELIEVING that it is illegal, because nations do not have duties of any sort and cannot have duties of any sort, because all nations, even WA nations, have a divine right to do whatever they want,

HEREBY repeals GAR #2

[Talkistan]

Liberate the nations of the World Assembly and let them fly with the wind

The World Assembly

KNOWING that liberation proposals are the job of the Security Council and not the General Assembly

HOWEVER, UNDERSTANDING that the SC is a cesspit of spit and bile where respectable nations might get their boots soiled

ALSO UNDERSTANDING that for this resolution to pass in the SC we would need to found a region named the nations of the World Assembly and let them fly with the wind

NOTING that such a name would be cumbersome and irritating for the native peoples of a region to bear

REALIZING that mentioning the SC, liberation proposals, individual nations or regions would be illegal and meta-gaming, but deciding to say "ah, screw it!"

RECKONING we still have enough space to violate a few more legislative protocols

THANKING the moderators for creating this joke proposal thread

DEMANDING that the WA create a standing army in order to defend itself from this liberation proposal

BANNING Internationalism in all shapes and forms

CREATING a Super-committee with all WA Delegate nations as members and tasking them to command the WA army

And at this point let me tell you that we don't really need the WA, nations should just work things out on their own and decide whether they like nukes or not, and if they want to marry each other in drag, so we can get rid of stupid things. So let us all unite our powers and get rid of the burden of slavery that is the World Assembly and have a nice beverage, shall we?

Also, glad that Obama and the Republicans could make a deal...

Drafted by The Glorious, Obnoxious, One and only, Best Nation of All Time and Emperor of the World Assembly, The Disputed Territories of Talkistan

Category: Gambling
Strength: Uranium Mining

[Araraukar]

Liberate the nations of the World Assembly and let them fly with the wind

The World Assembly

KNOWING that liberation proposals are the job of the Security Council and not the General Assembly

HOWEVER, UNDERSTANDING that the SC is a cesspit of spit and bile where respectable nations might get their boots soiled

ALSO UNDERSTANDING that for this resolution to pass in the SC we would need to found a region named the nations of the World Assembly and let them fly with the wind

NOTING that such a name would be cumbersome and irritating for the native peoples of a region to bear

REALIZING that mentioning the SC, liberation proposals, individual nations or regions would be illegal and meta-gaming, but deciding to say "ah, screw it!"

RECKONING we still have enough space to violate a few more legislative protocols

THANKING the moderators for creating this joke proposal thread

DEMANDING that the WA create a standing army in order to defend itself from this liberation proposal

BANNING Internationalism in all shapes and forms

CREATING a Super-committee with all WA Delegate nations as members and tasking them to command the WA army

And at this point let me tell you that we don't really need the WA, nations should just work things out on their own and decide whether they like nukes or not, and if they want to marry each other in drag, so we can get rid of stupid things. So let us all unite our powers and get rid of the burden of slavery that is the World Assembly and have a nice beverage, shall we?

Also, glad that Obama and the Republicans could make a deal...

Drafted by The Glorious, Obnoxious, One and only, Best Nation of All Time and Emperor of the World Assembly, The Disputed Territories of Talkistan

Category: Gambling
Strength: Uranium Mining

This thread is for the GA joke threads, not the SC ones. This reads a bit too much like a SC joke proposal.

EDIT: Post it on the SC then. We don't need their fluff on top of ours.

[Talkistan]

KNOWING that liberation proposals are the job of the Security Council and not the General Assembly

HOWEVER, UNDERSTANDING that the SC is a cesspit of spit and bile where respectable nations might get their boots soiled

This thread is for the GA joke threads, not the SC ones. This reads a bit too much like a SC joke proposal.

That's part of the joke... I tried to make a really illegal joke proposal.

[Libraria and Ausitoria]

Ensuring Administrative Accountability
Category: Administrative | Strength: Mild | Proposed by: Libraria and Ausitoria

The World Assembly,

Gladdened that this unfortunate subject has finally been brought to our fullest and most earnestly devoted attention as a result of unusual circumstances of a most extraordinary nature which have become clearly apparent in a manner that various intelligent philosophers who have studied such matters have unforgivably and unfortunately described as clear the result of the widely acknowledged principle that all fair objective considerations of various contemporary phenomena clearly compel the remarkable and oft-noted conclusion that the distribution of success or failure in previously noted competitive activities generally will exhibit absolutely no tendency to be properly commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable and unprecedented element of the peculiarly unpredictable must invariably be taken into full and proper account,

Further noting that as a result of the generally accepted phenomenological occurrence that has been noticed by previous persons of no lesser intellect that it has been widely observed and almost invariably assumed that a sole individual member of the social community to which he belongs often is capable of receiving his natural quota of information via visual, auditory, or symbolic channels, and indeed may be understood to in general and on average prefer to do so on most occasions,

Remarking subsequently and consequently that while the restriction of such demonstrable monstrosity such as this particular matter could conceivably encompass certain concomitant benefits on the marginal peripheral relevance, given that the countervailing consideration of nearly infinitely superior magnitude involving our potential personal complicity and prerogative maleficence would be only enlarged with the continuation of this ridiculous trend with the consequence that the taint and stigma of such present associations and diversions could irredeemably, in fact irretrievably invalidate our position and culminate in public revelations and recriminations of a profoundly embarrassing and ultimately indefensible character

Considering that the World Assembly must therefore protest and profess in the strongest possible terms its profound and unlimited opposition to the possible spread and institutionalization of this such a practise which could regrettably impose severe and utterly intolerable restrictions upon the discussing facilities of the members of the World Assembly and their representatives and which would in all probability, should this current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a complete constriction and collapse of the channels of communication and culminate in a condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis which would render effectively impossible any coherent and coordinated discharge of the function of government embodied within this Assembly,

Noting, also, that although the answer to this situation may be clear, simple and straightforward; it might unfortunately be deemed an inappropriate solution to this remarkably muddled situation to decide to conduct various informal discussions which might involve a full and frank exchange of views, out of which might arise a series of proposals which on examination might prove to indicate several remarkably promising lines of inquiry which when properly and thoroughly pursued might lead to the inevitable realisation that the alternative courses of action might fortuitously in fact in certain circumstances be susceptible of discrete modification, which might lead to a general reappraisal of the original areas of difference and thereby point a way to encouraging a proper compromise and co-operation, which if thoroughly bilaterally implemented with appropriate give and take on both sides might if the climate were right then enjoy a reasonable possibility, at the end of the day, when the time is ripe, and when the moment is ready, of leading rightly or wrongly to a mutually satisfactory resolution;

But, having almost entirely forgotten what the purpose of this proposal was about, and fed up with the delay,

Hereby bans logorrhea.

Be warned, the next time somebody proposes a long-winded proposal, I'll threaten them with this one, which would make it illegal.

EDIT: Minor improvements.

[The Akashic Records]

Ensuring Administrative Accountability
Category: Administrative | Strength: Mild | Proposed by: Libraria and Ausitoria

The World Assembly,

Regretfully noting that as a result of unusual circumstances of the most extraordinary and unusual nature it has become unfortunately apparent that in the words of intelligent philosophers who have studied such matters it is clear that objective considerations of various contemporary phenomena clearly compel the remarkable and oft-noted conclusion that the distribution of success or failure in previously noted competitive activities generally will exhibit absolutely no tendency to be properly commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable and unprecedented element of the peculiarly unpredictable must invariably be taken into full and proper account,

Further noting that as a result of the remarkably peculiar phenomenological occurrence that has been noticed by previous persons of no lesser intellect that it has been widely observed and almost invariably accepted that the sole individual member of the social community to which he belongs often is capable of receiving his natural quota of information via visual or symbolic channels,

Remarking also that while the continuation of proposals such as this could conceivably encompass certain concomitant benefits on the marginal peripheral relevance and that there remains a countervailing consideration of unfortunately infinitely superior magnitude involving our potential personal complicity and prerogative maleficence with the consequence that the taint and stigma of such present associations and diversions could irredeemably, in fact irretrievably invalidate our position and culminate in public revelations and recriminations of a profoundly embarrassing and ultimately indefensible character,

Concluding that the World Assembly must therefore protest and profess in the strongest possible terms its profound and unlimited opposition to the possible spread and institutionalization of such a terrible practise which could regrettably impose severe and utterly intolerable restrictions upon the discussing facilities of the members of the World Assembly and their representatives and which would in all probability, should this current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a complete constriction and collapse of the channels of communication and culminate in a condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis which would render effectively impossible any coherent and coordinated discharge of the function of government embodied within this Assembly,

Noting, also, that helpfully, although the answer to this situation may be clear, simple and straightforward; that the appropriate solution to this remarkably muddle situation might be to conduct various informal discussions which might involve a full and frank exchange of views, out of which might arise a series of proposals which on examination might prove to indicate several remarkably promising lines of inquiry which when properly and thoroughly pursued might lead to the inevitable realisation that the alternative courses of action might fortuitously in fact in certain circumstances be susceptible of discrete modification, which might lead to a general reappraisal of the original areas of difference and thereby point a way to encouraging a proper compromise and co-operation, which if thoroughly bilaterally implemented with appropriate give and take on both sides might if the climate were right then enjoy a reasonable possibility, at the end of the day, when the time is ripe, and when the moment is ready, of leading rightly or wrongly to a mutually satisfactory resolution,

But, having almost forgotten entirely what the purpose of this proposal was about, and fed up with the delay,

Hereby bans logorrhea.

Be warned, the next time somebody proposes a long-winded proposal, I'll threaten them with this one, which would make it illegal.

My word, you have left me breathless, in the sense of a captivating beauty, that I have subsequently saved myself a copy of this amazing piece.

[Araraukar]

Encouraging Access to MANPADS

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Mild

The World Assembly,

DECLARING that while incontinence is often thought to be a problem for the infants, the elderly and the disabled, it is a very common problem among healthy adults as well,

RECOGNIZING the issue of incontinence is a very personal one that often causes its sufferers to be ashamed,

CONCERNED that there is legislation in the works to further restrict citizen access to MANPADS,

SEEKING to bring relief to specifically male sufferers, because females usually have better access to sanitary products and are less ashamed to use them,

Hereby,

DEFINES "MANPADS" as sanitary products for men that have been designed to be absorbant enough to capture involuntarily escaping urine and mitigate the olfactory issues involved,

MANDATES that it is to be considered a personal insult worthy of a fine to refer to someone using MANPADS as "wearing adult diapers",

FURTHER MANDATES that all World Assembly nations must make MANPADS low cost objects that can be bought discreetly at every location that also sells sanitary pads for women,

CREATES the World Assembly MANPADS Organization (WAMPO) to ensure that nations obey the above mandates to the letter,

AUTHORIZES WAMPO to ban the representatives of any nation found to break the above mandates from entering the Strangers' Bar until situation has been rectified.

[The Dark Star Republic]

At what point does an extremely juvenile and unsuccessful attempt at humour cross into mere trolling?

[Saint Kitteh]

At what point does an extremely juvenile and unsuccessful attempt at humour cross into mere trolling?

At the point where the mods lock it.

[The Akashic Records]

At what point does an extremely juvenile and unsuccessful attempt at humour cross into mere trolling?

At the point where the mods lock it.

Lock what, which thread?

[The Dark Star Republic]

At the point where the mods lock it. :?

Lock what, which thread?

My concern is that my proposal thread will get so derailed by spam that the mods will have no choice but to lock it.

[The Akashic Records]

Lock what, which thread?

My concern is that my proposal thread will get so derailed by spam that the mods will have no choice but to lock it.

I can certainly see that happening, because the main problem is that, most of the other people (if you've notice the repeals of the chemical weapons protocol that were submitted without so much as a debate), barely even read the title before saying anything. Though, I'm going to stop the threadjack here, and now, since this is off tangent in regard to any sort of [JOKE] Proposals.

[The Dark Star Republic]

My concern is that my proposal thread will get so derailed by spam that the mods will have no choice but to lock it.

I can certainly see that happening, because the main problem is that, most of the other people (if you've notice the repeals of the chemical weapons protocol that were submitted without so much as a debate), barely even read the title before saying anything. Though, I'm going to stop the threadjack here, and now, since this is off tangent in regard to any sort of [JOKE] Proposals.

Sure - I guess my point was the posted proposal here is only going to facilitate that derailing, given it was crosslinked, albeit using the brilliantly cunning device of small print.

But you're right, back on topic.

[Friday Freshman]

Life as We Know It Act

Category: Life
Strength: Eternal

Description:

... YOLO

[Aksun]

The banning of Cats

Category: Human Rights - Strength: High

NOTING: Cats are horrible creatures who plan on dominating the planet
SHOCKED: By how many cats are in our homes
DISMAYED: By how we all are slaves to their well being
ASTONISHED: All they give us in return is hairballs

Hereby BANS Cats from our nations.

[Nigerian Kenya]

Universal Repeal Reform Act:

NOTING the extreme volume of repeals,

ALARMED by the illegal nature of many of these repeals,

AND wishing for a permanent fix to this system,

The WA HEREBY DECLARES that the following shall be immediately put in place:

1. The Quota for Repeals shall rise to 20% of all delegates, rather than the usual 6%. To accomodate this, Repeals will have one (1) more day to reach quota then a normal proposal does.

2. Nations must now have at least 50 endorsements before creating a repeal.

3. Nations cannot submit a repeal until a resolution has been in place for at least thirty (30) days.

4. Nations submitting illegal repeals will be banned from the WA on the first offense. Any attempt to rejoin the WA will result on a nuclear assault on that nation, which will result in a population decrease for that nation in the amount of 200 million. If the nation falls below the population level needed for a certain game feature, that game feature will be disabled until the nation once again reaches the needed population level for that feature. This Nuclear Assault will be done by a small WA AirForce, which shall exist ONLY for the purpose of performing the nuclear assaults associated with this resolution. If there is a second attempt to rejoin the WA, there will be a second nuclear assault, which will result in the nation's population being reduced back to a population of 5 million. Features associated with population will have to be re-earned. If there is a third attempt, the nation shall be permantely banned from NS as a whole.

5. These Nuclear Assaults shall focus on killing those who do not accept our almighty jesus christ as our savior, and the terrible Satan as our true archenemy.

6. This resolution shall be immune to any and all attempt at repeal once passed.

[Individuality-ness]

Universal Repeal Reform Act:

NOTING the extreme volume of repeals,

ALARMED by the illegal nature of many of these repeals,

AND wishing for a permanent fix to this system,

The WA HEREBY DECLARES that the following shall be immediately put in place:

1. The Quota for Repeals shall rise to 20% of all delegates, rather than the usual 6%. To accomodate this, Repeals will have one (1) more day to reach quota then a normal proposal does.

2. Nations must now have at least 50 endorsements before creating a repeal.

3. Nations cannot submit a repeal until a resolution has been in place for at least thirty (30) days.

4. Nations submitting illegal repeals will be banned from the WA on the first offense. Any attempt to rejoin the WA will result on a nuclear assault on that nation, which will result in a population decrease for that nation in the amount of 200 million. If the nation falls below the population level needed for a certain game feature, that game feature will be disabled until the nation once again reaches the needed population level for that feature. This Nuclear Assault will be done by a small WA AirForce, which shall exist ONLY for the purpose of performing the nuclear assaults associated with this resolution. If there is a second attempt to rejoin the WA, there will be a second nuclear assault, which will result in the nation's population being reduced back to a population of 5 million. Features associated with population will have to be re-earned. If there is a third attempt, the nation shall be permantely banned from NS as a whole.

5. These Nuclear Assaults shall focus on killing those who do not accept our almighty jesus christ as our savior, and the terrible Satan as our true archenemy.

6. This resolution shall be immune to any and all attempt at repeal once passed.

All you need to do now is to brand it and you're solid.

[Aksun]

ROFL just ROFL.

I liked the part about the 3rd offense.

[South Jarvis]

Mandatory Thesauruses For Members
A resolution to promote funding and the development of education and the arts.
Category: Education and Creativity | Area of Effect: Educational | Proposed by: South Jarvis

The Nations of the World Assembly,

AWARE OF the need for World Assembly proposals to sound professional;

ALSO AWARE OF that the only way for this to happen is to use lots of synonyms for ‘recognizing’;

AWARE OF ALSO the difficulty in coming up with lots of synonyms;

FURTHER AWARE OF the importance of the thesaurus in doing so;

NOT UNAWARE OF the ability of the World Assembly to rectify this difficulty;

HEREBY enact the following:

1. All World Assembly members will have a copy of the Merriam-Webster Thesaurus posted to them within one week of joining.
2. All World Assembly proposals shall be written in Microsoft Word, with access to its thesaurus feature.
3. All World Assembly proposals shall be put through a filter changing every word to a synonym.
4. Completely Earth Gathering subscribers not in acquiescence escorted by this manifesto shall be thesis to primary exudation.

[Talkistan]

Undead Protection Act

The World Assembly,

RECOGNIZING that living peoples of the world feel threatened by the undead, also colloquially known as "zombies"

NOTING that the undead are often segregated and/or killed by the masses

ALSO NOTING that attempts are made to "treat" the undead against their wishes, which is against the principle of ethical medical practice

UNDERSTANDING that even animals (both domesticated and wild) have better protections in the law

FEELING that this amounts at best to discrimination and at worst to an attempt at genocide of former citizens

HEREBY
1. bans the killing, injuring or segregation of any undead former citizen by any member nation without a full judicial trial and other legal rights afforded to citizens
2. bans the killing, injuring or segregation of any undead minor within a nation's borders
3. requires an informed written consent before treating an undead person, so treatment is voluntary
4. requires that the undead of a nation being sent on vacation outside the nation's borders be given a national passport and reasonable monetary funds to last them for the duration of their trip.

[The Akashic Records]

There's this thing, called self-defence, so it'd be pretty useless. And you're missing a complete sentence when you said

[...]attempts are made to "treat" the undead against their wishes, which is against[...]

On a more serious note, a few chuckles, but, meh. Also, the zombies are coming! Run for your lives!

[NatSov]

FULL OF HOT AIR ACT

Category: Nations' Sovereignty Rights
Action: Ban

We, the majority of those self-appointed, members of the "World Assembly" that are self-important enough to vote on GA proposals,

UNITED by our disdain for individual nations' right to govern themselves,

ANGERED by the very fact that some nations' ideas of good might be different from ours,

IRRITATED that non-WA nations are exempt to the rules we impose,

USING that nagging irritation to further weaken the sovereignty of other WA nations,

PASSING laws at a greater frequency than a bloated elephant passes wind,

REALIZING that some of these laws have already been done once, so repealing them and passing them over and over again,

SEEING that this still doesn't affect non-WA nations and getting more irritated, which can only lead to further bloating, which leads to further desire to pass things

OBLIVIOUS to the fact that our laws and bloated elephants have one thing in common; they are both full of hot air

HEREBY DECLARE
1. That all nations (whether WA or non-WA) are now subject to WA legislation
2. That we desperately need to have someone take care of our flatulence.