Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2019 4:13 pm
Can we stop with the abortion 'jokes'. None of you people are remotely funny.
Because sometimes even national leaders just want to hang out
https://forum.nationstates.net/
Hatzisland wrote:OCC: Too bad there is a political party in the USA that actually supports this.
RECOGNIZING Separatists Peoples as an evil moderator who abuses his power,
HORRIFIED that he bullies other nations that don't hold his view,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that he has initiated a war on religion,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that GenSec has elected to keep this country in power,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Security Council overweeningly voted to commend Separatists Peoples,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the resolutions he passed are still in place,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that Ambassador Bell has lived this long(you would think Mr. Bell would have wanted to retire by now, right?)
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Ambassador can hear a profit in the wind(what else can he hear?),
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Ambassador has pressured nations into having more drinks at the strangers bar,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED with the language used by both the nation and its Ambassador,
AND LASTLY, MOST HORRIFIED that Separatists People's have opposed almost all of my proposals.
The World Assembly hereby condemns Separatist Peoples.
Hatzisland wrote:RECOGNIZING Separatists Peoples as an evil moderator who abuses his power,
HORRIFIED that he bullies other nations that don't hold his view,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that he has initiated a war on religion,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that GenSec has elected to keep this country in power,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Security Council overweeningly voted to commend Separatists Peoples,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the resolutions he passed are still in place,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that Ambassador Bell has lived this long(you would think Mr. Bell would have wanted to retire by now, right?)
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Ambassador can hear a profit in the wind(what else can he hear?),
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Ambassador has pressured nations into having more drinks at the strangers bar,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED with the language used by both the nation and its Ambassador,
AND LASTLY, MOST HORRIFIED that Separatists People's have opposed almost all of my proposals.
The World Assembly hereby condemns Separatist Peoples.
Just to clarify: This is a joke proposal, the first I have ever authored. How do you think it went?
Falcania wrote:Hatzisland wrote:RECOGNIZING Separatists Peoples as an evil moderator who abuses his power,
HORRIFIED that he bullies other nations that don't hold his view,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that he has initiated a war on religion,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that GenSec has elected to keep this country in power,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Security Council overweeningly voted to commend Separatists Peoples,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the resolutions he passed are still in place,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that Ambassador Bell has lived this long(you would think Mr. Bell would have wanted to retire by now, right?)
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Ambassador can hear a profit in the wind(what else can he hear?),
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED that the Ambassador has pressured nations into having more drinks at the strangers bar,
EVEN MORE HORRIFIED with the language used by both the nation and its Ambassador,
AND LASTLY, MOST HORRIFIED that Separatists People's have opposed almost all of my proposals.
The World Assembly hereby condemns Separatist Peoples.
Just to clarify: This is a joke proposal, the first I have ever authored. How do you think it went?
It pains me to say it, because of my wholehearted love of slamming the grumbly old men of the GA, but it's just not funny enough.
Affirming that Separatist Peoples is a corrupt nation, where profit is valued more than basic decency;
Horrified that Separatist Peoples cheerfully swings the pittance of influence it has like a proverbial manhood;
Observing that said proverbial manhood is considerably less than Separatist Peoples would like the world to believe, excessive swinging notwithstanding;
Ashamed that the resolutions Separatist Peoples has put forth do little more than prolong military conflicts with misguided concerns for the well-being of civilians;
Concerned that the legal begats of its representative, Benjamin Bell, would not entitle him to a janitorial position in a legal office, let alone a position to weigh international law;
Skeptical that an ambassador with such a long, unpaid bar tab could be entrusted with plenipotentiary power;
Questioning the political wisdom of any nation that puts an impulsive, sodden drunkard in the position of guiding international law;
Firmly convinced that Ambassador Bell’s mouth could use a firm scrubbing with arsenic-laden soap;
Insisting that Ambassador Bell, to the extent that he can validly claim the title since he was banished to the World Assembly as punishment, should be banished to the wastebin of history, where the only thing he will sully is the memory of other patent failures;
Offended that the nation of Separatist Peoples has taken an obnoxious, immoral, and unprincipled position against certain proposals, which clearly have no flaws, political or grammatical, and therefore objectively warrant their unwavering support;
Hereby Condemns Separatist Peoples
Valentine Z wrote:The Right to Procrastinate
Category: Misc.
Strength: Strong
(... I will write more later)HEREBY DECLARES that we make Procrastination legal.
Gamzium wrote:Resolution to develop the improbability drive
Category: Science
Strength: Infinitely improbably strong
Determined to save civilian lives.
Horrified by previous death counts of civilians during war
Observing that sci-fi becomes science
Hereby everyone's main focus will be on the joint collaboration to create the improbability drive
An Infinitely Improbable Resolution
"Health" | Research
The World Assembly,
HAVING SUCCEEDED in harnessing the Brownian motion of a piping hot cup of tea to cause adjacent underwear molecules to all leap simultaneously three feet to the left, at a high but finite improbability level;
HOPEFUL that the esteemed General Secretary of the World Assembly will show up to christen the prototype; and
EAGER to check out any script for Hamlet that an infinite number of monkeys behind a mysterious door may someday work out;
therefore
1. Requires the research and development of a device that will tell space how to curve, that it may then tell matter how to move;
2. Requires that said device shall harness the power of improbability to cause very specific extremely unlikely things to happen, chiefly the spontaneous, instantaneous transit of an attached space vessel to its intended destination;
3. Specifies that the drive in question must have the ability to harness infinite levels of improbability;
4. Disclaims responsibility (and requires member states' indemnification of liability) for the spontaneous creation of seagoing mammals, domestic plants, or any other lifeform in hostile or otherwise unsuitable environments;
5. Pauses for a moment to attempt to teach a hideously unqualified artificial intelligence how to make tea, rather than its typical standard liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea;
6. Inches up the hallway over there as though it would rather be yarding its way down it;
7. Strongly urges clinically depressed robots to have lengthy existential conversations with pursuing police ship computers;
8. Reminds itself that a man must walk down 42 roads before you can call him a man; and
9. Reminds all sapient life NOT TO PANIC.
Valentine Z wrote:The Right to Procrastinate
Category: Misc.
Strength: Strong
(... I will write more later)
The Guardians of the Rhine wrote:Ban on Dark Chocolate
Proposed by: The Guardians of the Rhine
Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong
The World Assembly,
KNOWING that dark chocolate is indeed hated by right-minded people,
ACKNOWLEDGING that dark chocolate can kill people allergic to it,
AFFIRMING that dark chocolate is downright disgusting,
Hereby bans dark chocolate.
Third Asopia wrote:Ban Earthly Languages
Category: Non-Human Rights
Strength: Not very
CONCERNED that Nationstates is becoming to hard for aliens and multi universal beings to understand
APPALLED no consideration is shown towards these creatures
NOTING by doing this an apocalypse to end this horrifying world has become closer
HENCE, FROM NOW ON: Doodkdmrn iejene woiejeen iwjee ioowiw dafjjf wideeke owjeene kkdnene.
Paine de mkn: Dijne Hbenejw
Translation: No other nation will ever use human languages again.
Proposed by: You-Know-Who
Oxidane Contamination Prevention ActArea of effect: Safety | Strength: Significant | Proposed by: Maowi
Aware that oxidane, also known as dihydrogen monoxide, is a dangerous chemical to certain species that can cause serious injury or death when uptaken in large quantities;
Explaining that the dangers of oxidane can include swelling of brain cells, leading to dizziness, confusion, and ultimately death, and that symptoms of unhealthy oxidane uptake may include sweating, vomiting and dilute urine;
Regretful that many people are unaware or uneducated about the dangers of oxidane to their species, and seeking to remedy this situation;
Aghast that oxidane innocuously enters many people's homes through their plumbing systems, or an equivalent system;
Determined to save people from oxidane contamination by enforcing stringent legislation and punishing governments negligent to the well-being of their nations' citizens;
The World Assembly hereby:
Mandates that member nations must conduct valid scientific research into the effects of oxidane uptake on their citizens' species;
Requires member nations to fund informational campaigns educating their citizens on the dangers of oxidane, should the above scientific research conclude that excessive oxidane uptake can cause harmful effects on their species;
Commands member nations whose citizens are of a species upon which excessive oxidane uptake can cause harmful effects to ensure that no oxidane enters their plumbing, or equivalent, systems;
Advises member nations to take further action to prevent their citizens from detrimentally uptaking oxidane.
Maowi wrote:Oxidane Contamination Prevention ActArea of effect: Safety | Strength: Significant | Proposed by: Maowi
Aware that oxidane, also known as dihydrogen monoxide, is a dangerous chemical to certain species that can cause serious injury or death when uptaken in large quantities;
Explaining that the dangers of oxidane can include swelling of brain cells, leading to dizziness, confusion, and ultimately death, and that symptoms of unhealthy oxidane uptake may include sweating, vomiting and dilute urine;
Regretful that many people are unaware or uneducated about the dangers of oxidane to their species, and seeking to remedy this situation;
Aghast that oxidane innocuously enters many people's homes through their plumbing systems, or an equivalent system;
Determined to save people from oxidane contamination by enforcing stringent legislation and punishing governments negligent to the well-being of their nations' citizens;
The World Assembly hereby:
Mandates that member nations must conduct valid scientific research into the effects of oxidane uptake on their citizens' species;
Requires member nations to fund informational campaigns educating their citizens on the dangers of oxidane, should the above scientific research conclude that excessive oxidane uptake can cause harmful effects on their species;
Commands member nations whose citizens are of a species upon which excessive oxidane uptake can cause harmful effects to ensure that no oxidane enters their plumbing, or equivalent, systems;
Advises member nations to take further action to prevent their citizens from detrimentally uptaking oxidane.
Ausinia wrote:Not very funny