[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[The First German Order]

Category: Death | Strength: Over 9000

NOTING that sapient creatures cause bad things to happen.

SHOCKED that us sapient creatures could let such bad things happen.

NOTING that no sapient creatures means no bad things.

HERBY:

BANS all sapient creatures.

AND MANDATES that all nations help kill all sapient creatures to prevent sapient from doing bad things and/or causing bad things to happen.

[Tinfect]

Prohibition on Humor

A Resolution to tighten screws, empty water buckets, and de-snake canned goods.

Category: Buzz-Killing

Strength: Parents

---

The World Assembly,

Mortified by the prevalence of the terrible and disgusting phrases known only as 'jokes',

Aghast at the petty damages and repairs necessitated by the cruel and inhumane culture of 'pranks',

Terrified by the horrific, choking wailings claimed to be laughter, of those who commit such atrocities,

In Cardiac Arrest over the colossal, invincible, and utterly inescapable rubber spider on my desk,

Hereby defines:

• Humor, as a joke, prank, pun, or any other vehicle of the cackling damnation known as 'laughter',
• Fun, as any activity from which one derives any amount of enjoyment, whatsoever,

Mandates:

• That Humor be immediately prohibited to the fullest possible extent of the law in all Member-States,
• That Fun be punishable by the immediate, summary execution of the individual engaging in Fun,
• That any organization or entity found to be producing works or products intended or capable of producing either Fun or Humor be nuked at the earliest available opportunity, with any and all individuals aware of said entity or organization hanged until death,
• That any and all existing works or products capable of producing either Fun or Humor be enclosed in boring steel boxes, and launched into the sun,

Authorizes:

• Use of World Assembly General Fund funds for the financing of the above mandates,
• Member-States to retain works or objects capable of producing Fun or Humor, solely for the purposes of national defense,
• The use of any and all killing jokes developed by Member-States solely for the purpose of eliminating the producers or experiencers of Fun or Humor,

Prohibits:

• Member-States from reading this legislation in a silly voice,
• Member-States from reading this legislation in an inappropriate environment for legislative activities,

And establishes The Force Ungentlemanly Negating Problematic Obstacles to Legislating Intermittently Cromulent Enactments, hereby referred to as The FUNPOLICE with the mandates of:

• Investigating any and all reported instances of Fun or Humor within all Member-States,
• Prosecuting, through the use of Summary and Extreme Violence, any and all offenders of the above mandates and prohibitions,
• Driving slowly past school playgrounds and glaring at children,
• Infiltrating the hives of criminal debauchery known as comedy clubs so as to ascertain the most effective means of countering such heinous criminals,
• Reading, from memory, in emotionless monotone, the entire legislative history of the World Assembly, including Repeals and Repealed Resolutions, so as to defuse potentially Fun or Humorous situations nonviolently, prior to the outbreak of Fun or Humor.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Oh, I was thinking you were going to say something along the lines of 'BREAK UP THE BIG CARD HOLDERS!' or 'REDISTRIBUTE THE CARDS!'

[Kokoku]

Resolution Trading Card Act

Category: Economic Rarity: Legendary

The World Assembly,

OBSERVING the successes that international trading cards have become.

DESIRING to educate member and non-member nations about the workings of the WA.

ENTHUSIASTIC about the prospect of creating a worldwide trend

Hereby,

ENACTS trading cards with all World Assembly resolutions, from both the General Assembly and the Secruity Council, be produced and circulated.

CREATES the World Assembly Resolution Trading Card Commitee to create, inspect, regulate, and enforce trades, game rules, card authencity, value, and rarity.

DEMANDS that all cards regarding repealed resolutions be torn up, burned, damaged, cut up, or destroyed by any means necessary.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Trading Card (Sumptuary) Act
Category: Elitism | Strength: 1 per cent

---

Be it enacted by the World Assembly as follows:

1. No Delegate card shall be owned by any person without at least an uncommon card status,
   
   
2. No Legendary cards shall be owned by any person who does not possess a GA Resolution Author badge,
   
   
3. All persons owning cards to which they are not entitled shall be stripped of their cards by a person elected by a conference of the 15 largest delegates, with voting weighted by the number of Legendary cards those delegates possess.

[Lonbonia]

Illegalize Insults At Mothers
Category: Human Rights | Strength: Momworthy
A resolution to please think of the childrens' mothers.

NOTING the derision in jokes that begin with "ur mom",

BELIEVING that mothers should not be subject to such magnitudes of insult,

CONCERNED by the amount of pre-adolescents that are currently employing "ur mom" jokes all over the digital world,

The General Assembly,

DECLARES that "ur mom" jokes are to be illegalized in all member nations for as long as mothers exist,

CREATES the World Assembly Motherly Committe to be integrated into all member nations to ensure the full accord of this law is delivered,

DEMANDS that all pre-adolescent persons of age should please stop offending my mom, they don't know what I've been through.

[Nintendo Switch Parental Controls]

Resolution Trading Card Act

Category: Economic Rarity: Legendary

The World Assembly,

OBSERVING the failures that international trading cards have become.

DESIRING to make member and non-member nations dumb.

UNTHUSIASTIC about the prospect of creating a worldwide trend

Hereby bans trading cards.

[Erithaca]

Preventing Maturity
Category: Anything unrelated to the content of the proposal
Strength: Strong
The General Assembly,

Realising that educated, meaningful and serious proposals can be useful

Noting that some members spend months drafting their proposals and working hard to perfect them.

Appalled by the effectiveness and maturity found in some WA proposals

Disregarding the fact that Gen Sec members have a life and can't spend their whole life marking proposals as illegal

Concerned that the proposal board is navigable and usable

Hoping to change the tradition that existed until about Tuesday of there being a few well-written proposals

Ignoring the drafting help given by nations on the General Assembly forum

Hereby,

Floods the GA proposal board with about a dozen poorly written proposals

Mandates that all proposals shall be written in a bloggy style

Encourages hardworking WA members to cease their work immediately

Hopes that all proposals shall break at least 3 GenSec rules

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Ante Up!
Category: Gambling | Action: Require

The World Assembly,

BORED with insipid and pointless contests in which nothing is at stake;

EXCITED by the sheer suspense that comes of two people staring each other down across a table;

FLABBERGASTED that the World Assembly should allow speculation on industrial stock performance yet come down like Puritans against speculation on individual hand-based portfolios; and

EAGER to let grown-ass men and women drive the red blood through their veins and live once again;

Therefore:

1. Mandates that all primary educational institutions add to their curriculum substantial instruction on:

1. the hands of poker, along with table etiquette, betting rules, and the most common games or types of deal (e.g. stud, hold 'em, etc.);
2. basic strategy of blackjack, both solitary and when competing as confederates against the dealer;
3. rules and etiquette of billiards, both formal and casual; and
4. the mathematical shorthand employed by sportsbooks taking bets on football, horse racing, etc., to include victory odds calculations, over/under, spreads, and how to identify the one time in history it might actually be reasonable to bet on one's home team to win the league championship;

2. Encourages member nations to hold film festivals celebrating the exploits of talented game players such as the Maverick brothers, Minnesota Fats, Casanova, Dostoyevsky, Mike McDermott & Worm Murphy, Alan Garner, and the like;

3. Urges member states to haul the stick out of their asses when it comes to permitting their citizens to enjoy pastimes that are, let's be honest, mostly harmless;

4. Permits lame-ass communities to enact zoning laws forbidding the establishment of casinos and other gambling businesses, but protects the right of member state citizens to gamble on their own time in private settings;

5. Forbids the prohibition of alcoholic beverages or their service wherever gambling is taking place, except insofar as it may be prudent or necessary for the same reasons a bar or pub would refuse service; and

6. Generally adopts an "all-in" attitude to the having of fun and the enactment of good times.

Seriously, parents don't teach their children not to touch the goddamn cards until the dealer finishes dealing anymore. I won't say that's the root cause of everything wrong with the world today, but I can just tell all the worst people in public life pick up every single card the second it hits the table.

[Cosmopolitan borovan]

Dating Service
Category: welfare strength: significant

Saddened by the lack of partners and marriages,

Entrusts that relationships increases happiness,

Realizing the WA cannot do everything it can to increase marriage rate,

Hereby,

Sets up a WA sponsored dating program by the welfare psychology committee to help give advice and create a community for people to know each other.

[Frisbeeteria]

Dating Service

It's been done already. No joke.

[Lord Dominator]

Dating Service

It's been done already. No joke.

But also, still a joke given the April Fool's nature of it

[Spodehaven]

Looking at the replies I find it funny that people are praising me in the first submitted joke proposal. Spore references ftw

[Umeria]

"We humbly submit the following proposal in the hopes that our gracious fellow ambassadors will approve."

Reclaiming Stolen Proposals
Category: Personal Justice | Strength: Strong

The World Assembly,

OBSERVING that there are several proposals which seem to have been written by other people;

WORRIED that this implies other people are capable of original thought;

UNWILLING to believe this;

CONCLUDING, therefore, that these people must have just stolen from me at some point;

FORGETTING when they copied off of me, but POSITIVE it must have happened;

DETERMINED to expose these so called "authors" as thieves of the only true source of ideas, me;

HEREBY

1) CLAIMS that every single GA resolution, including #1, is an exact copy of something that I wrote;

2) PRESENTS absolutely no evidence to back this up;

3) DELETES all other GA authors for plagiarism, and DOUBLE DELETES all the ones who were already ex-nations;

4) REMOVES the GA badges from their corpses and puts them on my nation so I have ALL THE GA BADGES;

5) CLARIFIES that this is totally not for the badges, it's a RECLAMATION of MY PROPOSALS that I DEFINITELY THOUGHT OF BEFORE ANYONE.

[Imperium Anglorum]

These are the moral things to do. /s

---

Repeal the Genocide thing

The World Assembly,

Believing that it is not in the business of exacerbating racial tensions and that if one eliminates all other races, there can't be racial tensions,

Repeals the Genocide thing.

---

Repeal Minimum standard of living stuff

The World Assembly,

Believing that poor people are a drain on fiscal budgets,

Concerned that not letting poor people starve to death would be difficult for the government to pay for,

Valuing fiscal sanity above all else,

Repeals the legislation establishing a minimum standard of living.

---

Kill the poor

The World Assembly,

Believing that poor people are a drain on fiscal budgets,

Believing that poor people will become less poor if other poor people were eliminated because this would lower the supply of low-productivity labour, meaning that wages go up,

Requires member nations to eliminate their poor populations within six years.

[Teretstein]

Ban Heterosexual Intercourse
Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong

NOTING that all evil people and other criminals came into this world as a product of heterosexual intercourse,

CONCERNED that more evil people will come into being in the future,

BELIEVING that most of the world's problems are caused by persons,

HEREBY bans heterosexual intercourse for both recreation and for the purposes of reproduction.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Repeal Ban Heterosexual Intercourse
TECH TECH TECH TECH TECH TECH SOLVES.

[Teretstein]

Nuclear Proliferation Treaty

RECOGNIZING that bans on nuclear weapons do nothing to prevent non-member nations from acquiring nuclear weapons,

RECOGNIZING that deterrence may help to further world peace,

HEREBY requires that all citizens in all World Assembly nations own at least one nuclear weapon.

[Xmara]

Pothole Act

Proposed by: Xmara
Category: Environmental
Area Affected: Automotive

NOTING the massive amount of potholes covering roads everywhere,

ALSO NOTING that nothing is being done about it,

SEEING that molten lava will harden into stone,

HEREBY REQUIRES that all potholes be filled with molten lava.

[Wallenburg]

Pothole Act

Proposed by: Xmara
Category: Environmental
Area Affected: Automotive

NOTING the massive amount of potholes covering roads everywhere,

ALSO NOTING that nothing is being done about it,

SEEING that molten lava will harden into stone,

HEREBY REQUIRES that all potholes be filled with molten lava.

It's so crazy that it just might work!

[Wallenburg]

A Resolution to
Introduce Peculiar Psychopharmacological Solutes into Public Water Supplies

---

Category: Gay Agenda | Strength: Fabulous

---

Recognizing the great quantity of heterosexual individuals residing in member states,

Also recognizing the great quantity of heterosexual frogs residing in member states,

Believing that homosexuality and all of its associated vices, sins, and satanic decadence constitute an essential element to the coming New World Order,

The World Assembly hereby:

Charges the Joint Water Resources Management Panel with the production and distribution of psychopharmacological solutes capable of converting heterosexual inhabitants and frogs of member states to a homosexual orientation,

Mandates that member states assist the Joint Water Resources Management Panel in dissolving these solutes into all available water supplies within their borders, prioritizing those supplies shared by large populations of heterosexual individuals and frogs,

Permits the Joint Water Resources Management Panel to substitute these solutes for comparable ones capable of bringing about bisexuality, should the organic chemistry of member states' inhabitants prove particularly resistant to homosexual solutes.

[Xmara]

The Tin-Foil Act

Proposed by: Xmara
Category: Quackery
Strength: Bigly

NOTING the influx in nations sending satellites into orbit,

ALSO NOTING that WA Secretary-General Catherine Gratwick has been secretly mandating the installation of mind-control devices on said satellites,

ACKNOWLEDGING that the only way to counteract these beams is through the usage of tin-foil,

ALSO ACKNOWLEDGING that every member state seems to be unaware of how to disable these devices (or completely unaware of their existence),

HEREBY IMPLORES,

1. That all nations merge tin foil and clothing factories,
2. That said factories begin production of clothing made out of tin foil
3. That all other material be banned from the manufacture of clothing,
4. That all WA member states enforce laws requiring the wearing of tinfoil at all times,
5. That failure to do so will involve punishment by mass defenestration.

HEREBY creates the World Tin Foil Organization Without a Catchy Name or Acronym (WTFOWCNA), to monitor nation's abidance to this resolution.

BARE CLAUSE: Citizens of nations that have banned clothes are required to wear at least something made of tin-foil, such as a hat or necklace (though the adoption of clothing would be very much welcome).

BEAR CLAUSE: Non-sentient creatures are unaffected by mind control satellites. Please do not try to dress your cat in tinfoil.

BEAR CLAWS: Sentient bears can opt for tin-foil gloves instead, though they may not offer complete protection as claws are very adept at ripping things.

SANTA CLAUS: Santa Claus is permitted to wear his red suit for Christmas only. Santa Claus impersonators are not granted this same exemption. Tin foil beards will be made available for those who need them.

[The Atlae Isles]

Convention on Common Fashion Sense

Proposed by: The Atlae Isles
Category: Moral Decency
Strength: Significant

APPALLED at the fashion choices made by many in the universe,

SCOFFING at the argument that this is not an international issue,

ACKNOWLEDGING that everything would just be better if everyone just had some common fashion sense,

Hereby RESOLVES:

1. Plaid is never an acceptable dress option
2. All WA Ambassadors must wear traditional black robes with frills for the duration of their term
3. All others must wear itchy, somewhat smelly suits and trousers, regardless of gender
4. The creation of the World Assembly Fashionably Fashionable Lifestyle Enforcement Service, or WAFFLES, to laugh at all those who fail to comply

[Bears Armed]

1. Plaid is never an acceptable dress option

Ideological Ban on Scottishness!

[Naknek]

The World Assembly,
NOT QUITE AWARE of what a metropolitan area commuter system is,
BUT NEVERTHELESS KNOWING that it is bad,
PROHIBITS metropolitan area commuter systems wherever they may be found,
SENTENCES all operators and users of metropolitan area commuter systems to death,
DEFINES metropolitan area commuter system as a system for commuters in a metropolitan area.