[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Herby]

Awwww c’mon you guys! “HERBY SENDS to its true love”? Really? No wonder I’m freakin’ broke this year!

[The Atlae Isles]

Awwww c’mon you guys! “HERBY SENDS to its true love”? Really? No wonder I’m freakin’ broke this year!

Your New Year’s Resolution is to not be sold for parts

[Pax Nerdvana]

Awwww c’mon you guys! “HERBY SENDS to its true love”? Really? No wonder I’m freakin’ broke this year!

Your New Year’s Resolution is to not be sold for parts

[The Candy Of Bottles]

Awwww c’mon you guys! “HERBY SENDS to its true love”? Really? No wonder I’m freakin’ broke this year!

Heh. You did it to yourself you know. Compare days eight and nine.

[Herby]

Awwww c’mon you guys! “HERBY SENDS to its true love”? Really? No wonder I’m freakin’ broke this year!

Heh. You did it to yourself you know. Compare days eight and nine.

Wait wait wait what? How did that get there?

[Tretrid]

Marriage Act Act

Category: Political Stability
Strength: Strong

The World Assembly,
TIRED of users submitting bad resolutions pertaining to marriage,
REGOGNIZING bad resolutions already written on the subject like GA#410 "Marriage Equality",
IRRITATED that poorly written proposals concerning marriage still plague the General Assembly to this day,
HEREBY:

DEFINES "marriage act" as any proposal that concerns the social bond known as "marriage",
BANS the writing of marriage acts,
PERMITS the World Assembly Compliance Commission (WACC) to enforce the ban on marriage acts upon pain of defenestration,
ALLOWS repeat offenders to be lobbed out the window of the hallowed halls of this World Assembly by the representatives of compliant nations,
REASSURES member nations that this is all for the best.

[Stoskavanya]

Government can ACT

Category: Political Stability
Strength: Mild

This Assembly,

Appalled by the idiocy of member nations,

Assured that the World Assembly can do everything better,

Reminding everyone that Committees are perfect and infallible,

Hereby,

Mandates that all member states dismantle their constitutions and legal systems;

Creates the "World Assembly Nation Builder Committee" who is henceforth task with
a. Creating the perfect government for every nation and applying it
b. Micromanaging every affair of said member government
c. Encouraging collaboration or whatever

Prohibits diverge governments from forming outside the Commissions guidelines.

[Imperium Anglorum]

I remember telling a debate friend about this idea that committees are assumed to be infallible. His conclusion was the above: why not have then WA take direct control over the territories?

[He Qixin 2]

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong

The World Assembly:

Defining "human rights" as "moral principles or norms that describe certain standards of human behaviour";

Shocked by the fact that many humans are treated unequally in member nations;

Thinking that there is a need to save these humans in those nations;

Therefore, the World Assembly hereby:

Mandates that member nations stop giving no rights to humans.

[Araraukar]

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong

The World Assembly:

Defining "human rights" as "moral principles or norms that describe certain standards of human behaviour";

Shocked by the fact that many humans are treated unequally in member nations;

Thinking that there is a need to save these humans in those nations;

Therefore, the World Assembly hereby:

Mandates that member nations stop giving no rights to humans.

OOC: Where's the joke in this? In the double negative action? Considering the existence of CoCR and other anti-discrimination resolutions, even the premise is weak. I mean, I know the proposals here aren't serious, but at the very least they should make some sense. (Or is this a language issue again?)

[Grays Harbor]

Make Cryptozoology Great Again!

Category: Free Lunch
Strength: Can bench about 350

Giving a definition of Cryptozoology and Cryptid: The Search and discovery of any living creature that "legitimate" science refuses to acknowledge.

Acknowledging the discovery of rare and interesting cryptids that has happened within the last decade and is still growing.

Knowing that virtually all Cryptids are extremely popular in the tourist industry and has created numerous amounts of jobs.

Recognizing that the research of cryptozoology is very very super expensive but, still necessary, and must be funded to the fullest.

Knowing that cryptids can grow a nation's economy, because they can.

The WA declares:

i. All member-nations recognize that cryptids are real creatures that can be exploited.

ii. Allow the trading of cryptids between member-nations.

iii. Allow the creation of fully funded cryptozoological institutes.

iiii. Allow member-nations to regulate any cryptids in their jurisdiction.

[Araraukar]

Make Cryptozoology Great Again!

Category: Free Lunch
Strength: Can bench about 350

Giving a definition of Cryptozoology and Cryptid: The Search and discovery of any living creature that "legitimate" science refuses to acknowledge.

Acknowledging the discovery of rare and interesting cryptids that has happened within the last decade and is still growing.

Knowing that virtually all Cryptids are extremely popular in the tourist industry and has created numerous amounts of jobs.

Recognizing that the research of cryptozoology is very very super expensive but, still necessary, and must be funded to the fullest.

Knowing that cryptids can grow a nation's economy, because they can.

The WA declares:

i. All member-nations recognize that cryptids are real creatures that can be exploited.

ii. Allow the trading of cryptids between member-nations.

iii. Allow the creation of fully funded cryptozoological institutes.

iiii. Allow member-nations to regulate any cryptids in their jurisdiction.

"Illegal for breaking a great number of resolutions, due to forgetting to specify non-sapient creatures."

OOC: Quite a few ambassadors around here would fit that definition. And not just 3/4 of mine.

[Wrapper]

The skunk ape next door says that this is a bad idea. I'm inclined to believe him.

[He Qixin 2]

Category: Environmental
Industry Affected: All Businesses

The World Assembly:

Defining "putridity" as "a decaying or rotting and emitting of a fetid smell";

Noting that in many nations, things like litter, durian and some people are producing a very strange smell;

Thinking that people will not be able to stand those smells;

Further knowing that putridity is one of the causes of air pollution;

Therefore thinking that action should be taken to address putridity;

Therefore, the World Assembly hereby:

Declares the new law of outlawing putridity by:

(a) Mandating that all putrid people be arrested when they're spotted; and

(b) Further mandating that all litter be thrown away and all durians be banned.

[The First German Order]

Category: Environmental
Industry Affected: All Businesses

The World Assembly:

Defining "putridity" as "a decaying or rotting and emitting of a fetid smell";

Noting that in many nations, things like litter, durian and some people are producing a very strange smell;

Thinking that people will not be able to stand those smells;

Further knowing that putridity is one of the causes of air pollution;

Therefore thinking that action should be taken to address putridity;

Therefore, the World Assembly hereby:

Declares the new law of outlawing putridity by:

(a) Mandating that all putrid people be arrested when they're spotted; and

(b) Further mandating that all litter be thrown away and all durians be banned.

I don't get how this is funny.

[Indera Kayangan]

Category: Environmental
Industry Affected: All Businesses

The World Assembly:

Defining "putridity" as "a decaying or rotting and emitting of a fetid smell";

Noting that in many nations, things like litter, durian and some people are producing a very strange smell;

Thinking that people will not be able to stand those smells;

Further knowing that putridity is one of the causes of air pollution;

Therefore thinking that action should be taken to address putridity;

Therefore, the World Assembly hereby:

Declares the new law of outlawing putridity by:

(a) Mandating that all putrid people be arrested when they're spotted; and

(b) Further mandating that all litter be thrown away and all durians be banned.

You cannot ban durian lad. There is a reason why durian is called the King of Fruits.

[He Qixin 2]

Category: Environmental

Industry Affected: All businesses

The World Assembly:

Defining...
(a) "environment" as "the place where organisms live in;
(b) "organisms" as "living things";
(c) "living things" as "things which have a life";

Noting that the environment receives little to no funding in many nations;

Worried that the damage done has caused:
(a) Many organisms to die;
(b) Air pollution which is choking everyone;
(c) The weather to be warmer and uncomfortable;
(d) The ground to be dirty;

Therefore thinking that this is an international problem and should be addressed immediately;

Hereby,

1) Mandates that member nations start putting animals in better environments;

2) Requires industries to be more Eco-friendly;

3) Further requires member nations to burn less fossil fuels; and

4) Strongly advises citizens of member nations to throw litter into trash bins whenever possible.

[Araraukar]

Category: Environmental

Industry Affected: All businesses

The World Assembly:

Defining...
(a) "environment" as "the place where organisms live in;
(b) "organisms" as "living things";
(c) "living things" as "things which have a life";

Noting that the environment receives little to no funding in many nations;

Worried that the damage done has caused:
(a) Many organisms to die;
(b) Air pollution which is choking everyone;
(c) The weather to be warmer and uncomfortable;
(d) The ground to be dirty;

Therefore thinking that this is an international problem and should be addressed immediately;

Hereby,

1) Mandates that member nations start putting animals in better environments;

2) Requires industries to be more Eco-friendly;

3) Further requires member nations to burn less fossil fuels; and

4) Strongly advises citizens of member nations to throw litter into trash bins whenever possible.

OOC: And where's the joke in that?

[Frisbeeteria]

He Qixin 2, you appear to be misunderstanding the purpose of this thread. It's for making fun and writing silly proposals. It's not for trial runs of bad proposals. Continue to create threads for those, and we'll continue to tear them apart in hopes that you'll eventually get better at proposal writing.

In the meantime, stop posting in this thread.

[He Qixin 2]

Category: Environmental

Industry Affected: All businesses

The World Assembly:

Defining...
(a) "environment" as "the place where organisms live in;
(b) "organisms" as "living things";
(c) "living things" as "things which have a life";

Noting that the environment receives little to no funding in many nations;

Worried that the damage done has caused:
(a) Many organisms to die;
(b) Air pollution which is choking everyone;
(c) The weather to be warmer and uncomfortable;
(d) The ground to be dirty;

Therefore thinking that this is an international problem and should be addressed immediately;

Hereby,

1) Mandates that member nations start putting animals in better environments;

2) Requires industries to be more Eco-friendly;

3) Further requires member nations to burn less fossil fuels; and

4) Strongly advises citizens of member nations to throw litter into trash bins whenever possible.

OOC: And where's the joke in that?

the "definition" part. further more, the clauses of this proposal uses very basic action rather than serious.

[Tinfect]

OOC: And where's the joke in that?

the "definition" part. further more, the clauses of this proposal uses very basic action rather than serious.

OOC:
Just because a proposal is bad doesn't make it a joke.

[Tinfect]

Tank Driving Permits on Freeways

A Resolution to solve literally all violence problems in Member-States

Category: Thinking

Of: THE CHILDREN

---

The World Assembly,

Aghast at the incidence of vehicular homicide on the freeways of Member-States, specifically Freeways and no other roadways,

Understanding that many Member-States may want to protect their citizens from such horrific deaths,

Disregarding the fact that Tanks are designed exclusively for warfare and therefore have limited utility to civilians,

Hereby defines:

• A Freeway as a paved transit path for vehicles civilian or otherwise, that connects areas over long distances,
• A Tank Driving Permit as a legal document granting a Citizen of a Member-State the right to drive a Tank on Freeways,

Mandates:

• That, in times of high risk of vehicular death, Member-States issue emergency Tank Driving Permits to Citizens travelling on Freeways,
• That Member-States make no restrictions on the rights of Citizens carrying a Tank Driving Permit to drive Tanks on Freeways,

And reminds Member-States that allowing Civilians to drive Tanks on Freeways will dramatically improve the safety of Civilians on Freeways, both those in, and out, of Tanks.

Edit: Apparently Sancti Imperii Catholico dropped their draft, and now this joke comes across as rather... mean. If you're reading this, this isn't a dig at you, I just thought this idea was funny.

[Imperium Anglorum]

The thing that makes this proposal is the image. If it weren't there, it'd be far less funny. A good chuckle!

[Copperward]

Reestablish Max Barry Day
A resolution to promote the development of education on our lord and savior, Max Barry.
Category: Education | Strength: very | Proposed by: Copperward

The Nation Assembly,

Recognizing Max Barry as the sexy bastard who made this hellhole we all know and loathe, Nationstates, in 2002;

Acknowledging Max Barry as a God amongst men;

Believing the repeal of Historical Resolution #223, the resolution that established the original Max Barry Day, to be a crime against humanity;

Hereby:

Restablishes Max Barry on the eighteenth of March.

Requires that every use must dedicate this sacred day to praying to Max Barry or face the penalty of a lifetime ban and death.

[Xanderstralia]

Category: Joke | Strength: Too Much

Believing that the World Assembly has been used in ways it was never intended for

Knowing that the destruction of the World Assembly would enrage countless nations

However believing that dis-world-assembly would actually create more peace

Hereby repeals General Assembly Resolution #1: "The World Assembly".