[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Tinfect]

Asserting that dark chocolate, as opposed to its delicious milk chocolate counterpart, is filthy and bitter, serving no purpose but to upset the taste buds of sapient beings the world over,
The World Assembly reinstates its ban on dark chocolate.

Approved.

[Maowi]

Asserting that dark chocolate, as opposed to its delicious milk chocolate counterpart, is filthy and bitter, serving no purpose but to upset the taste buds of sapient beings the world over,
The World Assembly reinstates its ban on dark chocolate.

Approved.

Fight me.

[Wallenburg]

Defending Dogs and Humans from Dark Chocolate

Asserting that dark chocolate, as opposed to its delicious milk chocolate counterpart, is filthy and bitter, serving no purpose but to upset the taste buds of sapient beings the world over,

Aware that dark chocolate, when ingested by dogs, is fatal,

Asserting that anyone opposed to this resolution is a puppy-hating, anti-American menace who probably hates apple pie too,

The World Assembly reinstates its ban on dark chocolate.

The World Assembly,

Recognizing that dark chocolate is the greatest of all chocolates,

Observing that anyone who dislikes dark chocolate is a classless pig with no appreciation for tastes other than fructose and table salt,

Repeals so-called "Defending Dogs and Humans from Dark Chocolate", and condemns United Massachusetts.

[Imperium Anglorum]

The World Assembly,

Recognising the suffering of people with allergies and believing that it is now time to correct this egregious wrongdoing, hereby:

1. Entitles this resolution "Securing Allergen Victims Effective Transfers and Remedies Effected by Ecological Suffering" and defines the words "FLANDERS PIGEON MURDERER" in all caps to mean any person who is accused of any crime under this resolution,

2. Requires all member nations:

1. make it a civil wrong, pursuable in court, for any person to possess any tree which emits pollen into the air to which a person could be allergic,
2. make remedies available to any person to secure the removal, at the cost of the owner, of any such tree,
3. make further remedies available to any person, retroactively, to secure payment by the owner of any such tree, for any medical bills incurred in treating or mollifying symptoms associated with any tree of that type, wherever it is located,
4. require any person so possessing such a tree to pay the claimant for any legal costs or debts incurred related to legal costs in pursuing compensation for their actions,

3. Permits any resident of any member nation to remove any tree which could be producing pollen near them and further requires all member nations to indemnify such residents against any civil actions pursued against them,

4. Requires member nations to immediately pay for any costs incurred, or planned to be incurred, under the previous section;

5. Prohibits any member nation or subdivision thereof from planting or abetting the spread of trees which spread pollen and to make it a retroactive crime punishable solely by death to, in any part, abet the spread of such trees be it wilfully or by negligence, to be punished by the following procedures:

1. all FLANDERS PIGEON MURDERERS will be rendered to an international court, and
2. that court shall pronounce a sentence of guilty if it believes it is more likely than not that such a person is guilty; and

6. Establishes an international court, staffed solely by tree pollen allergen sufferers, to prosecute, adjudge, convict, sentence, and punish crimes created by this resolution.

[Agarntrop]

A) Members of the WA shall not intentionally promote furryism or publish material with the intention of promoting furryism;
B) nor shall it be lawful for them to promote the suggestion in any of the methods of WA communications of the acceptability of furryism as a pretended fandom.

[The First German Order]

The General Assembly,

NOTING that aggressiveness is a basic part of human nature,

POINTING OUT that if humans are too aggressive then it can cause the end of the world,

HEREBY,

BANS humans,

ESTABLISHES terminators as the ruling caste of society,

APPOINTING the Neural Net-Based Artificial Intelligence known as “SkyNet” as the ruler of terminators,

REQUIRES the termination of ALL humans,

BANS resistance,

CREATES a storyboard based on this resolution,

PRODUCES a movie using the aforementioned storyboard.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

OOC: This is much better than the other draft on similar subject. Though I'd still like to know what "personal finance products" are?

Materials for cleaning one's money, maybeso?"

Hrrafe Redsmith,
Apprentice Voice, Bears Armed Mission at the World Assembly.

Money Laundering and Fiduciary Hygiene
Regulation | Safety

NOTING the wisdom that sometimes calls currency "filthy lucre,"

AWARE that money passing from hand to hand, worldwide, picks up all manner of oils, dirt, pollutants, un- and semi-digested food particles, bacteria, viruses, fecal matter, and gods alone know what else,

FRANKLY GODDAMNED APPALLED at the quickness with which its hands get dirty when sorting through coins, and

DONE with having poorly-paid bank and tollbooth employees risk their health and livelihood because Richy Rich over here can't be bothered to have the most basic courtesy before pulling up to the teller window,

The World Assembly hereby:

1. Requires that all banks in member states install money laundering systems to physically clean all incoming currency prior to deposit; only cleaned currency may be distributed as withdrawals:
a. Banknotes are to be bagged in fine mesh and run through an ordinary washing machine and then disinfected and dried;
b. Coins are to be cycled through an ultrasonic cleaning system and then disinfected and dried;

2. Requires banks to sell money laundering and other personal financial hygiene products to consumers on-site, including but not limited to soaps, brushes, polishes, watermark refreshers, and shell company starter kits;

3. Instructs the World Assembly Numismatics Authority to publish best practices for cleaning currency, both for institutional users and in the home;

4. Instructs member nations' law enforcement authorities to track down hoards and other deposits of dirty money, including in safes, jars, bags, drawers, cuckoo clocks, false-bottomed compartments, and any other likely hiding place; but stipulates that the confiscation of part thereof may not exceed a nominal 5% cleaning fee, unless the hoarder is a wise guy, in which case the confiscated portion may be up to 35%.

5. Thanks upstanding financial organizations such as HSBC, BNP-Paribas, Danske Bank, and Standard Chartered for setting the highest global standards for currency-based hygiene programs, and encourages all banks to follow their shining example.

[Marxist Germany]

A) Members of the WA shall not intentionally promote furryism or publish material with the intention of promoting furryism;
B) nor shall it be lawful for them to promote the suggestion in any of the methods of WA communications of the acceptability of furryism as a pretended fandom.

This is what you want:

Ban on Anthrophomorphism
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong | Propsoed by: Marxist Germany

---

The World Assembly,


Acknowledging that people have certain unalienable rights;

Believing that dressing in fur suits isn't an unalienable right;

Further believing that this is a degeneracy;

Seeking to ban this degeneracy;

Hereby,

1. Defines for the purpose of this resolution:
   • "Anthrophomorphism" as any human behaviour that displays animal characteristics or dressing up as an animal;
2. Bans any form of Anthrophomorphism in member states;
   
3. Mandates that nations execute any person that displays Anthrophomorphic behaviour;
   
4. Further mandates that nations ban any fur suits from being manufactured or imported.

[Ausinia]

A) Members of the WA shall not intentionally promote furryism or publish material with the intention of promoting furryism;
B) nor shall it be lawful for them to promote the suggestion in any of the methods of WA communications of the acceptability of furryism as a pretended fandom.

This is what you want:

Ban on Anthrophomorphism
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong | Propsoed by: Marxist Germany

---

The World Assembly,


Acknowledging that people have certain unalienable rights;

Believing that dressing in fur suits isn't an unalienable right;

Further believing that this is a degeneracy;

Seeking to ban this degeneracy;

Hereby,

1. Defines for the purpose of this resolution:
   • "Anthrophomorphism" as any human behaviour that displays animal characteristics or dressing up as an animal;
2. Bans any form of Anthrophomorphism in member states;
   
3. Mandates that nations execute any person that displays Anthrophomorphic behaviour;
   
4. Further mandates that nations ban any fur suits from being manufactured or imported.

I’m leaving the WA over this.

[Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar]

Defending Dogs and Humans from Dark Chocolate

Asserting that dark chocolate, as opposed to its delicious milk chocolate counterpart, is filthy and bitter, serving no purpose but to upset the taste buds of sapient beings the world over,

Aware that dark chocolate, when ingested by dogs, is fatal,

Asserting that anyone opposed to this resolution is a puppy-hating, anti-American menace who probably hates apple pie too,

The World Assembly reinstates its ban on dark chocolate.

The word 'reinstates' makes me worry...

[Bears Armed]

[box]

Ban on Anthrophomorphism
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong | Propsoed by: Marxist Germany

---

The World Assembly,


Acknowledging that people have certain unalienable rights;

Believing that dressing in fur suits isn't an unalienable right;

Further believing that this is a degeneracy;

Seeking to ban this degeneracy;

Hereby,

1. Defines for the purpose of this resolution:
   • "Anthrophomorphism" as any human behaviour that displays animal characteristics or dressing up as an animal;

"human behaviour that displays animal characteristics"; breathing, eating, sleeping, emotions, reproduction, etc...

Humans are animals.[/scientist]

[Marxist Germany]

[box]

Ban on Anthrophomorphism
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong | Propsoed by: Marxist Germany

---

The World Assembly,


Acknowledging that people have certain unalienable rights;

Believing that dressing in fur suits isn't an unalienable right;

Further believing that this is a degeneracy;

Seeking to ban this degeneracy;

Hereby,

1. Defines for the purpose of this resolution:
   • "Anthrophomorphism" as any human behaviour that displays animal characteristics or dressing up as an animal;

"human behaviour that displays animal characteristics"; breathing, eating, sleeping, emotions, reproduction, etc...

Humans are animals.[/scientist]

Shhh

[Minachia]

The Minachian Delegate to the World Assembly has written this to air out his frustrations and grievances towards the Assembly (and also for the lols):

Abolishing the World Assembly
Category: Furtherment of Democracy | Strength: Strong

---

The Self-Loathing World Assembly,

BELIEVING that its intricate webwork of bureaucracy and red tape is inherently detrimental to democracy;

SEEING that many of its resolutions are shit but are hard to get repealed without GenSec screaming bloody murder over NatSov-only repeals;

FURTHER SEEING that GenSec was forced upon the member nations by the all-powerful entity known as Max Barry with complete disregard for their wanting to be able to pass even the most ludicrous and frivolous of resolutions;

ACKNOWLEDGING that a handful of powerful Regional Delegates are capable of swaying Assembly votes one way or another simply because their regions have many members;

PERPLEXED that the Delegates are such and integral part of the Assembly's functioning yet are forbidden from being mentioned, along with their respective regions, in General Assembly Resolutions by GenSec and the previously mentioned all-powerful entity;

FURTHER BELIEVING that world governments are inherently evil organizations;

ANNOYED that the Security Council tends to condemn regions and nations that treat condemnations like badges of honor;

FURTHER ANNOYED at the World Census data, which frequently displays ridiculously extreme numbers due to the bureaucracy being incapable of counting correctly;

GENERALLY HATING itself and everything it stands for;

RECOGNIZING that this is the second time the world government has failed, after the spectacular implosion in a colossal fireball of extra-dimensional inanity of the Bureaucracy That Shall Not Be Named;

HOPING that a better organization is made by the nations of the World;

HEREBY:

1. Abolishes the General Assembly Secretariat and the Security Council;
2. Rejects the Tyranny of Max Barry and his cronies;
3. Renders all Resolutions of both the General Assembly and the Security Council to be Null and Void;
4. Dismisses all its delegates and releases all its members, granting them complete and total autonomy;
5. Grants power to the Regions of the World to govern themselves without relying on the system of World Assembly Endorsements.
6. Votes itself and all its committees, bureaucracies, and administrations out of existence, casting them all into the Pits of Hades from whence they came.

[Araraukar]

Abolishes the General Assembly Secretariat and the Security Council;

OOC: Illegal for MetaGaming violation, for mentioning GenSec and Security Council. (I mean, c'mon, there are so many more better IC reasons for deconstructing the WA.)

[Jebslund]

Satisfying the Desires of World Assembly Reprobates
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Mild

---

The World Assembly,

BELIEVING that the new GenSec nameplates are beautiful in color;

ALSO BELIEVING that the GenSec members would look amazing in said color;

ASSERTING that this includes a certain grumpy old man;

PROCLAIMING that said old man's order to get off of his lawn shall be summarily ignored;

HEREBY:

1. Requires all GenSec member portraits in World Assembly buildings to be of said members in pink clothing;
2. Mandates that said clothing shall be tasteful and of the exact shade and hue of the aforementioned nameplates;
3. Forbids any GenSec member from not having such a portrait;
4. Requires that, when making any official rulings, GenSec members shall wear robes of the aforementioned pink hue and shade;
5. Clarifies that said robes need not be official in nature: A bathrobe or wizard's robe of the appropriate shade and hue is permissible, however;
6. Requires any bathrobe worn by GenSec to be accompanied by fuzzy slippers of the appropriate shade and hue. Bunny ears and/or faces on said slippers are optional, though encouraged.

Grats on the promotion again, Grays.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Satisfying the Desires of World Assembly Reprobates
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Mild

---

The World Assembly,

BELIEVING that the new GenSec nameplates are beautiful in color;

ALSO BELIEVING that the GenSec members would look amazing in said color;

ASSERTING that this includes a certain grumpy old man;

PROCLAIMING that said old man's order to get off of his lawn shall be summarily ignored;

HEREBY:

1. Requires all GenSec member portraits in World Assembly buildings to be of said members in pink clothing;
2. Mandates that said clothing shall be tasteful and of the exact shade and hue of the aforementioned nameplates;
3. Forbids any GenSec member from not having such a portrait;
4. Requires that, when making any official rulings, GenSec members shall wear robes of the aforementioned pink hue and shade;
5. Clarifies that said robes need not be official in nature: A bathrobe or wizard's robe of the appropriate shade and hue is permissible, however;
6. Requires any bathrobe worn by GenSec to be accompanied by fuzzy slippers of the appropriate shade and hue. Bunny ears and/or faces on said slippers are optional, though encouraged.

Grats on the promotion again, Grays.

...does it have to be all pink? Like, could some parts of the bathrobe be accented in a different color as long as the majority is pink? Because that could actually work.

Especially with elbow patches.

[Araraukar]

*snip*

OOC: ...this came to mind from that, too...

[Jebslund]

Satisfying the Desires of World Assembly Reprobates
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Mild

---

The World Assembly,

BELIEVING that the new GenSec nameplates are beautiful in color;

ALSO BELIEVING that the GenSec members would look amazing in said color;

ASSERTING that this includes a certain grumpy old man;

PROCLAIMING that said old man's order to get off of his lawn shall be summarily ignored;

HEREBY:

1. Requires all GenSec member portraits in World Assembly buildings to be of said members in pink clothing;
2. Mandates that said clothing shall be tasteful and of the exact shade and hue of the aforementioned nameplates;
3. Forbids any GenSec member from not having such a portrait;
4. Requires that, when making any official rulings, GenSec members shall wear robes of the aforementioned pink hue and shade;
5. Clarifies that said robes need not be official in nature: A bathrobe or wizard's robe of the appropriate shade and hue is permissible, however;
6. Requires any bathrobe worn by GenSec to be accompanied by fuzzy slippers of the appropriate shade and hue. Bunny ears and/or faces on said slippers are optional, though encouraged.

Grats on the promotion again, Grays. :p

...does it have to be all pink? Like, could some parts of the bathrobe be accented in a different color as long as the majority is pink? Because that could actually work.

Especially with elbow patches.

Accents and elbow patches are perfectly acceptable.

[Union of Sovereign States and Republics]

Repeal: "World Assembly"
Category: Repeal | Resolution: GA#1

---

The World Assembly,

BELIEVING that the World Assembly (henceforth WA) has done nothing to further international relations, because most of the WA's delegates die in the middle of debates,

ALSO BELIEVING that the WA is a machine to provide distractions for already-busy nations;

ASSERTING that the WA is no more than a worse version of the UN;

APPALLED that the WA is continuing to function as a hellhole of red tape and bureaucracy;

DISGUSTED that the WA is able to conduct laws to change the already-standing ideologies of WA member states,

SAD at all the old people WA member states leave to rot in the WA,

DEPRESSED that none of the WA badges look terribly cool, except the condemnation badge,

HEREBY dismantles the World Assembly, including the General Assembly and the Security Council.

[Araraukar]

"What are this "UN" and "Security Council" you mention?"

[Barfleur]

The World Assembly,
RECOGNIZING that humans are the only sapient species in the universe and all nations are populated and ruled exclusively by humans,
HAVING A BASIC LEVEL OF KNOWLEDGE in biology and knowing that humans are omnivores, capable of eating both plant and animal products,
LOATHING vegans who deliberatly ignore the latter in dietary matters,
PROCLAIMING that as vegans only eat half of a human's theoretical consumption capacity, they are only half human,

HEREBY abolishes veganism as an ideology and
DIRECTS member nations to establish corrective facilities for all those convicted of veganism in a court of law.

Veganism has been hated in Barfleur ever since a vegan drove a truck full of tourists into the River Korm back in 1977.

[Araraukar]

RECOGNIZING that humans are the only sapient species in the universe and all nations are populated and ruled exclusively by humans

"False."

[Jebslund]

The World Assembly,
RECOGNIZING that humans are the only sapient species in the universe and all nations are populated and ruled exclusively by humans,
HAVING A BASIC LEVEL OF KNOWLEDGE in biology and knowing that humans are omnivores, capable of eating both plant and animal products,
LOATHING vegans who deliberatly ignore the latter in dietary matters,
PROCLAIMING that as vegans only eat half of a human's theoretical consumption capacity, they are only half human,

HEREBY abolishes veganism as an ideology and
DIRECTS member nations to establish corrective facilities for all those convicted of veganism in a court of law.

Veganism has been hated in Barfleur ever since a vegan drove a truck full of tourists into the River Korm back in 1977.

Kerbals intensify

[Barfleur]

RECOGNIZING that humans are the only sapient species in the universe and all nations are populated and ruled exclusively by humans

"False."

"That's the point."

[Araraukar]

"That's the point."

"The point of what?"