[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Bears Armed]

The Resolution that Breaks All the Rules
Hereby violates every GA proposal rule.

In order to make it perfect, you need to misspell Hereby as Herby.

And to translate it into another language -- or even several other languages -- instead of just posting it in English...

^_^

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Actually, a resolution that violates all of the rules may only violate one.

Legal Paradox, Or Not... Act
Illustration | Weak

Recognizing that breaking certain pairs of rules simultaneously is a logical impossibility;

Aware that one cannot mandate the breaking of a rule while at the same time permitting it not to be broken,

The World Assembly herby:

1. Breaks by declaration every single proposal rule; and

2. Stipulates that it may refrain from breaking any rules it may happen to wish upheld; therefore

3. Either breaks all rules except one, or breaks but one single solitary rule.

[Umeria]

In order to make it perfect, you need to misspell Hereby as Herby.

And to translate it into another language -- or even several other languages -- instead of just posting it in English...

^_^

But if it says it violates all the rules, then it violates that one also, so it's already not in English. Even if it looks like it is. It's also a branding violation because it mentions a nation's name. Everything's just there.

[Frustrated Franciscans]

Well, so far this is MY resolution ...

The Procrastinator's Resolution
TBA | TBA

UNDERSTANDING that all the great nations have made brilliant proposals which have been passed as resolutions;

KNOWING that you can't get a resolution passed unless you actually write one;

NOT KNOWING what might be a good subject to write about that nations would actually approve;

NOT REALLY having the time anyway;

RESOLVES to write a prosal when our nation geta "A ROUND TUIT."

[States of Glory WA Office]

Well, so far this is MY resolution ...

The Procrastinator's Resolution
TBA | TBA

-snip-

I've already beaten you to it.

[World Dissembly]

Secretariat's Council Act

The World Dissembly,

Hearing talk in the streets of some new outfit called the Secretariat's Council that would debate the legality of GA proposals and remove them if they deemed it necessary,

Understanding that such a task would bring a lot of controversy,

Foreseeing that a lot of people are going to get very angry indeed,

Hereby
Reserves the right to use colorful words such as "%^*@", "#$^&", "$#%^&", "#%^&*(&^", "$^8%%^", ">&^^&#*" and most importantly, "bunch of %$^&^%$less $%^&%^%^ers" against any such council or members thereof.

[Kryozerkia]

Secretariat's Council Act

The World Dissembly,

Hearing talk in the streets of some new outfit called the Secretariat's Council that would debate the legality of GA proposals and remove them if they deemed it necessary,

Understanding that such a task would bring a lot of controversy,

Foreseeing that a lot of people are going to get very angry indeed,

Hereby
Reserves the right to use colorful words such as "%^*@", "#$^&", "$#%^&", "#%^&*(&^", "$^8%%^", ">&^^&#*" and most importantly, "bunch of %$^&^%$less $%^&%^%^ers" against any such council or members thereof.

There is sometimes truth in a joke.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Secretariat's Council Act

There is sometimes truth in a joke.

Are you trying to lose your position?

[Tretrid]

Repeal "The World Assembly"
Category: Repeal | Resolution: GA#1

Description: WA General Assembly Resolution #1: The World Assembly shall be struck out and rendered null and void.
Argument: The General Assembly,
APPLAUDING the cooperative efforts of nations to push international law,
NOTING the use of a forum for discussing matters,
SURPRISED that there is a joke resolution thread,
DREADING what would occur if some of the joke proposals actually got passed,
SEEING that some perfectly good resolutions were repealed,
NOTING that although multiple accounts in the WA are banned, some might be clever enough to bypass the means of detection,
APPALLED that some false alarms may occur,
WISHING for a slightly more efficient way to instill order,
The General Assembly hereby repeals GA #1 "The World Assembly."

Of course, this is impossible.

[Tinhampton]

Infringement of Every Rule For Proposals Act

No category. No effect. No strength. No optionality. No proposer. Just straight-forward proposal rule-breaking.

---

DESCRIPTION: Tinhamptonian Ambassador and Delegate to the World Assembly Alexander Smith,

Pointing out that Kryozerkia has compiled a list of Stuff Not To Do In General Assembly Proposals (a registered trademark of Max Barry) all by herself, which includes not exceeding 3,500 characters as well as everything listed above;
Stunned that Sierra Lyricalia and Umeria have created proposals in similar categories to this one which barely infringe any of the rules at all,
Understanding that all proposals must follow the general OSRS guides, which are being nonundisregardmentated as GA proposal rules for the purposes of this act, in addition to those about plagiarism and much of what is written about forien langages;
Currently considering an amendment bill which will enforce what is stated in the above paragraph, but which shall keep them in the NationStates Game statute book;
Assamblee võib hääletada see seaduseelnõu, mis ei ole resolutsiooni punkti:

1. Breaches every General Assembly rule;
2. Creates the third resolution since 3rd October 2016, A.D., dedicated to breaching every General Assembly rule;
3. Banishes the Greek language, communitarianism, and Anglicanism from the world;
4. Enforces the presence of at least one branch of McDonalds in every member nation;
5. Breaches every General Assembly rule;
6. Complies with every General Assembly rule;
7. Mandates that all future General Assembly proposals break at least five rules for General Assembly proposals;
8. Sets up a Committee for Enforcing Infringement, which will be manned by Sedgistan and at least 752 other members to serve two-week terms;
9. Strongly encourages nations to use the forums and Regional Message-Boards whenever possible;
10. Breaches every General Assembly rule;
11. Commends Donald Bradman for his services to cricket;
12. Points out that this resolution would not have been possible without GA#82;
13. Noting that the "Hereby" line is written in Estonian with the help of Bing Translator, and makes no sense when putting it before most of these bullet points;
14. Breaches every General Assembly rule;
15. Forces the five Pacific regions to merge into one so-called "Super-Pacific" region;
16. Protects this act from repeal in any circumstances whatsoever;
17. Repeals both previous bills on the subject matter by Sierra Lyricalia and Umeria;
18. Strikeswhay Issueway 473#ay, A-B-C"ay, Easyway Asway on'tDay Useway eMay" omfray ethay ecordray ofway issuesway assedpay;
19. Touiwp iudfhgijfodh albgjoidhb fjopfknvj, pfkbjohet ibhitjetou;
20. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch;
21. Encourages all nations to disregard this act;
22. Noting that this bill has only been about 2,600 characters long up to now and has disregarded all rules that Alexander Smith considers as rules but those listed in the "Understanding" element of his description, and the rule that bans links to other websites, so let us do so now: If you want to find out more about cricket, click here. Now onto our next point;
23. UNITED NATIONS!!!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!!!NINETEENEIGHTYFOUR!!!!!!! It's illegal to talk about the United Nations in resolutions, amirite?;
24. Mandates that all nations, and not just those in the WA, breahc dcent Enlis Gramma Roolz bah makin shah tha' too punkflucatation mahks be placened nexta each ovva, an' tha' words tha' an't wrods be consderied wrods;
25. Encourages the Lancashire Accent to be the accent of choice for nations across the universe, hoping that one day it shall become THE standard English Accent;
26. Crosses the sacred cow that is the 3,500-character limit that no proposal may exceed in this particular bullet point - I cannot overstate to you how much I have broke the rules, so check out how many characters this proposal is if you click here and paste the text of this resolution into the box, then clicking "Count Characters" to check this proposal's length, and I'm going to stop dragging on about character limits from now;
27. Commends Yumyumsuppertime, USS Monitor and Old Tyrannia for doing excellent jobs as moderators, and the same for Kyrusia in his role as Game Moderator;
28. Concludes on a high note by saying: "Mission accomplished. I've finally managed to break all the proposal rules I think are proposal rules without having to get cast into Modly Hellfire - and that is quite a lot of laws - and all in just 4,413 characters and twenty-eight bullet points!".

[States of Glory WA Office]

Ban on Tea
Category: Beverages | Strength: Two lumps

The World Assembly,

BELIEVING tea to be a ghastly drink,

HEREBY:

1) BANS tea,

2) RECOMMENDS that as an alternative, inhabitants of member states should instead drink Orange Juliuses.

[Cyanbeard]

Ban on Tea
Category: Beverages | Strength: Two lumps

The World Assembly,

BELIEVING tea to be a ghastly drink,

HEREBY:

1) BANS tea,

2) RECOMMENDS that as an alternative, inhabitants of member states should instead drink Orange Juliuses.

Mightiest apologies, landlubber...we be verily partial to imbibing rum.

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

Ban on Tea
Category: Beverages | Strength: Two lumps

The World Assembly,

BELIEVING tea to be a ghastly drink,

HEREBY:

1) BANS tea,

2) RECOMMENDS that as an alternative, inhabitants of member states should instead drink Orange Juliuses.

Mightiest apologies, landlubber...we be verily partial to imbibing rum.

This is blasphemy!

[Imperium Anglorum]

Ridiculous.

[Calladan]

Ban on Tea
Category: Beverages | Strength: Two lumps

The World Assembly,

BELIEVING tea to be a ghastly drink,

HEREBY:

1) BANS tea,

2) RECOMMENDS that as an alternative, inhabitants of member states should instead drink Orange Juliuses.

It is a glorious day throughout the known universe! The forces of decency, light and sense are coming together to liberate humanity from the forces of darkness and evil!! Hallelujah!!!

[Umeria]

Orderly Infringement of Every Rule for Proposals Act

Category: Every Category | Strength: Extremely Strong! It can lift a whole paperweight! | Proposed by: the Coalition of every non-member nation in NS

Description: The United Nations,

Recognizing that I've already made a resolution that explicitly violates every GA rule,

Acknowledging that many people here are objecting that just declaring that you're violating every rule isn't enough,

Wishing to make a better, proper version of the mess of illegalities that Tinhampton proposed,

this september world assembly Herby,

Section I

Article I

Clause I

Part I: Bans the participation of minors in armed conflict.
Part II: Allows minors to participate in armed conflict.

Clause II

Part I: Creates the Committee that Does Nothing.
Part II: Declares that the CDN is the sole purpose of this resolution.
Part III: Staffs the CDN with beavers elected by the Beaver Council.
Part IV: Declares that CDN members have a maximum term length of 42 seconds.
Part V: If this resolution is repealed, the CDN shall be permanently disbanded.
Part VI: If a future resolution uses this committee prior to said repeal, the CDN will be disbanded anyway.

Clause III

Part I: Bans judaism.
Part II: Bans liberalism.
Part III: Bans capitalism.

Clause IV

Part I: When reporting an outbreak to the EPARC as per GAR#53, you also have to include the license plate number of all possible infected persons.
Part II: When reporting a nuclear disaster to the NDRO as per GAR#60, the report must be at least 9 pages long.

Clause V

Part I: Declares that this is all just a game.
Part II: Declares that we all live on the Real World of Planet Earth.
Part III: Declares that Vladimir Putin is the current president of Russia.
Part IV: Declares that Douglas Adams was an excellent writer.
Part V: Declares that Japan has 4 main islands.
Part VI: Declares that the United Nations sued Max Barry a few years ago for some weird patent thing.
Part VII: Declares that 9/11 happened about 15 years ago.

Article II

Clause I

Part I: Writes this resolution in stone.
Part II: Amends the header of the 5th clause in GAR#202 to say "ALLOWS" instead of "PROHIBITS".

Clause II

Part I: Argues that National Sovereignty.
Part II: Argues that GAR#1 is unjust because it bans the color indigo.
Part III: Repeals GAR#1.
Part IV: Clarifies that there is no reason to repeal GAR#1 besides National Sovereignty.
Part V: Bans the color indigo.

Article III

Clause I

Part I: Forces the Security Council to bring back DEN and quarantine all of its former members there.
Part II: Mandates that Europeia shall merge with The East Pacific.
Part III: Forces all non-member nations to bow down to Violet 11 times per day.

Clause II

Part I: Ejects all member nations who refuse to comply with this resolution and forces such nations to have bright orange flags.

Article IV

Clause I

Part I: Declares that this resolution has no category.
Part II: Bans the whole "category & strength" thing from ever mattering again.

Clause II

Part I: Declares that this resolution has no strength or area of effect.

Clause III

Part I: You don't actually have to comply with this resolution.

Article V

Clause I

Part I: Erases every operative clause from this resolution.

Clause II

Part I: 生存還是毀滅，這是個問題：無論這是一件在心中崇高的受苦 吊索離譜財富箭，或採取挺身反抗人世的海洋，通過鬥爭結束它們：死，睡覺 不再;和睡眠，說我們結束 心疼痛，以及其他無數震盪 血肉是繼承人？'提斯一個圓滿 虔誠地將希望 死，睡覺，睡覺，也許還會做夢;贊成，還有擦，對於死亡的睡眠，可能會發生的夢想，當我們拖著關閉此塵世，必須給我們暫停。還有的尊重 這使得生活如此長的災難：誰願意忍受時間的鞭子和蔑視，壓迫者的錯誤，驕傲男人的傲慢，鄙視愛情的痛苦，法律的延遲，辦公室的傲慢和摒棄 卑微的那名患者接受的優點，當但他自己做的清欠收據 隨著裸錐子？誰也不甘心，呻吟，呻吟，疲累的生命出汗，但是，這東西後死亡的恐懼，未來之城，從其境界 沒有回報旅客，拼圖的意志，而且使我們寧願忍受目前的弊病，比飛到別人是我們不知道的。顧慮就使我們都變成了懦夫，因而分辨率的原生色彩 正在生病，把你與思想的蒼白投，和偉大的間距和力矩的企業，隨著這方面，也會逆流而退，失去了行動的名稱。現在你軟，公平綠萍？若蟲，在你的視野 是我所有的罪銘記。
Part II: Yes, I did use Google Translate for that. But, is it really that much of an issue? Google Translate, while it may be inaccurate in many ways, has brought the world together with the languages it supports. I think we should all look up to that app and build off of it when making other language rules.

Clause III

Part I: My name is Anthony Lockwood and I am proud to represent Umeria! Or U, for short.

Clause IV

Part I: Mandates that this proposal is completely un-repealable.
Part II: Prohibits any further legislation regarding religion.

Clause IV

Part I: It's just a joke, man. Can't you take a joke?

Section II

Article I

Clause I

Part I: Come to my new website: thesiteijustmadeup.com! (hopefully that's not a real website)
Part II: No, please, everyone come to my totally unrelated website! You'll love it!

Clause II

Part I: Creates a puppet nation with an ex-nation flag.
Part II: Creates a puppet nation with every obscenity imaginable on it.
Part III: Creates 5 puppet nations, and makes them all WA members.

Article II

Clause I

Part I: Oh yeah? Well you're stupid.
Part II: #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal

Clause II

Part I: Bush did 9/11.
Part II: Not another one who thinks Bush did 9/11.

Co-authored by Unibot, Wrapper, Sapient Hammers United, Evil Wolf, and [violet].

I think I covered everything.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

(also, it's fun to run it back through the other way: "Survival or destruction, this is a question: whether this is a noble sorrow in the heart of the siege wealth spectrum of arrows, or take to stand up to the world of the sea, through the struggle to end them...")

[States of Glory WA Office]

Proper Writing Etiquette
Category: Literacy | Strength: Pedantic

The Assembly of Worlds,


CONCERNED about the lack of stylistic unity in resolutions;


BELIEVING firmly that this travesty can't be allowed to stand;


WISHING to force its standards upon all the delegations;


HEREBY:


1) MANDATES that all resolutions must begin with 'The Assembly of Worlds',


2) MANDATES that all clauses must be separated by a double space,


2) MANDATES that all clause openers must be bolded, italicized, underlined and capitalised,


3) MANDATES that all preambulatory clauses must end in a semicolon,


4) MANDATES that all active clauses, except for the final one, must end in a comma,


5) FORBIDS the final active clause from ending in a full stop

OK, this proposal is clearly meant to mock, but to be fair to IA, this does look pretty ugly.

Wait, can something even be 'pretty ugly'?

[Calladan]

Proper Writing Etiquette
Category: Literacy | Strength: Pedantic

The Assembly of Worlds,


CONCERNED about the lack of stylistic unity in resolutions;


BELIEVING firmly that this travesty can't be allowed to stand;


WISHING to force its standards upon all the delegations;


HEREBY:


1) MANDATES that all resolutions must begin with 'The Assembly of Worlds',


2) MANDATES that all clauses must be separated by a double space,


2) MANDATES that all clause openers must be bolded, italicized, underlined and capitalised,


3) MANDATES that all preambulatory clauses must end in a semicolon,


4) MANDATES that all active clauses, except for the final one, must end in a comma,


5) FORBIDS the final active clause from ending in a full stop

OK, this proposal is clearly meant to mock, but to be fair to IA, this does look pretty ugly.

Wait, can something even be 'pretty ugly'?

Gosh darn it - I was going to write a proposal that did exactly the opposite to this : essentially write one that said "The WA demands you can write proposals however the hell you want because as long as the meaning is clear who gives a buggering damn what it looks like"

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Abolishing Formatting Fascism
Category: Literacy | Strength: Iconoclastic

The Global Assemblage,

Perturbed by the insistence of some members on rigid formatting norms;

Puzzled that anyone would let themselves be taken in by such prissy posturing;

COGNIZANT that a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds;

Determined not to shrivel and snivel and cringe in the face of the Format Stasi;

HeReBy:

1. Reserves for member states in perpetuity the power to unilaterally make all formatting decisions on documents they submit to the World Assembly, including resolution proposals;

B. Forbids any interference by any member state in another member state's formatting decisions;

and

Γ. CELEBRATES with full jamboree powers every conceivable variation in sentence structures, font and embellishment decisions, and every other possible formatting choice.

[States of Glory WA Office]

Gosh darn it - I was going to write a proposal that did exactly the opposite to this : essentially write one that said "The WA demands you can write proposals however the hell you want because as long as the meaning is clear who gives a buggering damn what it looks like"

I've only just realised that I've got two second clauses. That wasn't intentional.

Abolishing Formatting Fascism

Don't you start!

[Imperium Anglorum]

^ I repealed that!

[Leppikania]

Repeal Everything

---

Category: Repeal | Resolution: All of Them | Proposed by: Leppikania

---

Description: The World Assembly,

NOTING the restrictions on national laws that resolutions place,

INSISTING that they shouldn't be there, and that nations should have more freedom to dictate their policies,

HEREBY repeals every resolution ever passed.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Code: Select all

StackOverflowError. Cannot repeal self object.

[Tinhampton]

Orderly Infringement of Every Rule for Proposals Act

Category: Every Category | Strength: Extremely Strong! It can lift a whole paperweight! | Proposed by: the Coalition of every non-member nation in NS

Description: The United Nations,

Recognizing that I've already made a resolution that explicitly violates every GA rule,

Acknowledging that many people here are objecting that just declaring that you're violating every rule isn't enough,

Wishing to make a better, proper version of the mess of illegalities that Tinhampton proposed,

this september world assembly Herby,

Section I

Article I

Clause I

Part I: Bans the participation of minors in armed conflict.
Part II: Allows minors to participate in armed conflict.

Clause II

Part I: Creates the Committee that Does Nothing.
Part II: Declares that the CDN is the sole purpose of this resolution.
Part III: Staffs the CDN with beavers elected by the Beaver Council.
Part IV: Declares that CDN members have a maximum term length of 42 seconds.
Part V: If this resolution is repealed, the CDN shall be permanently disbanded.
Part VI: If a future resolution uses this committee prior to said repeal, the CDN will be disbanded anyway.

Clause III

Part I: Bans judaism.
Part II: Bans liberalism.
Part III: Bans capitalism.

Clause IV

Part I: When reporting an outbreak to the EPARC as per GAR#53, you also have to include the license plate number of all possible infected persons.
Part II: When reporting a nuclear disaster to the NDRO as per GAR#60, the report must be at least 9 pages long.

Clause V

Part I: Declares that this is all just a game.
Part II: Declares that we all live on the Real World of Planet Earth.
Part III: Declares that Vladimir Putin is the current president of Russia.
Part IV: Declares that Douglas Adams was an excellent writer.
Part V: Declares that Japan has 4 main islands.
Part VI: Declares that the United Nations sued Max Barry a few years ago for some weird patent thing.
Part VII: Declares that 9/11 happened about 15 years ago.

Article II

Clause I

Part I: Writes this resolution in stone.
Part II: Amends the header of the 5th clause in GAR#202 to say "ALLOWS" instead of "PROHIBITS".

Clause II

Part I: Argues that National Sovereignty.
Part II: Argues that GAR#1 is unjust because it bans the color indigo.
Part III: Repeals GAR#1.
Part IV: Clarifies that there is no reason to repeal GAR#1 besides National Sovereignty.
Part V: Bans the color indigo.

Article III

Clause I

Part I: Forces the Security Council to bring back DEN and quarantine all of its former members there.
Part II: Mandates that Europeia shall merge with The East Pacific.
Part III: Forces all non-member nations to bow down to Violet 11 times per day.

Clause II

Part I: Ejects all member nations who refuse to comply with this resolution and forces such nations to have bright orange flags.

Article IV

Clause I

Part I: Declares that this resolution has no category.
Part II: Bans the whole "category & strength" thing from ever mattering again.

Clause II

Part I: Declares that this resolution has no strength or area of effect.

Clause III

Part I: You don't actually have to comply with this resolution.

Article V

Clause I

Part I: Erases every operative clause from this resolution.

Clause II

Part I: 生存還是毀滅，這是個問題：無論這是一件在心中崇高的受苦 吊索離譜財富箭，或採取挺身反抗人世的海洋，通過鬥爭結束它們：死，睡覺 不再;和睡眠，說我們結束 心疼痛，以及其他無數震盪 血肉是繼承人？'提斯一個圓滿 虔誠地將希望 死，睡覺，睡覺，也許還會做夢;贊成，還有擦，對於死亡的睡眠，可能會發生的夢想，當我們拖著關閉此塵世，必須給我們暫停。還有的尊重 這使得生活如此長的災難：誰願意忍受時間的鞭子和蔑視，壓迫者的錯誤，驕傲男人的傲慢，鄙視愛情的痛苦，法律的延遲，辦公室的傲慢和摒棄 卑微的那名患者接受的優點，當但他自己做的清欠收據 隨著裸錐子？誰也不甘心，呻吟，呻吟，疲累的生命出汗，但是，這東西後死亡的恐懼，未來之城，從其境界 沒有回報旅客，拼圖的意志，而且使我們寧願忍受目前的弊病，比飛到別人是我們不知道的。顧慮就使我們都變成了懦夫，因而分辨率的原生色彩 正在生病，把你與思想的蒼白投，和偉大的間距和力矩的企業，隨著這方面，也會逆流而退，失去了行動的名稱。現在你軟，公平綠萍？若蟲，在你的視野 是我所有的罪銘記。
Part II: Yes, I did use Google Translate for that. But, is it really that much of an issue? Google Translate, while it may be inaccurate in many ways, has brought the world together with the languages it supports. I think we should all look up to that app and build off of it when making other language rules.

Clause III

Part I: My name is Anthony Lockwood and I am proud to represent Umeria! Or U, for short.

Clause IV

Part I: Mandates that this proposal is completely un-repealable.
Part II: Prohibits any further legislation regarding religion.

Clause IV

Part I: It's just a joke, man. Can't you take a joke?

Section II

Article I

Clause I

Part I: Come to my new website: thesiteijustmadeup.com! (hopefully that's not a real website)
Part II: No, please, everyone come to my totally unrelated website! You'll love it!

Clause II

Part I: Creates a puppet nation with an ex-nation flag.
Part II: Creates a puppet nation with every obscenity imaginable on it.
Part III: Creates 5 puppet nations, and makes them all WA members.

Article II

Clause I

Part I: Oh yeah? Well you're stupid.
Part II: #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal #illegal proposal

Clause II

Part I: Bush did 9/11.
Part II: Not another one who thinks Bush did 9/11.

Co-authored by Unibot, Wrapper, Sapient Hammers United, Evil Wolf, and [violet].

I think I covered everything.

You made it much funnier than I ever could have. It's a pity that there isn't a SC Joke Proposals Megathread...