[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Wrapper]

Pffft. Truth is, I was a school spelling bee champion when I was 11, and I still spelled "discreet" wrong in GAR#300. Yes, that still haunts me.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Amends the previous proposal to mandate the use of English in proposals.

[Trotterdam]

Repeal General Assembly Resolution #400

Category: Repeal

Resolution: GA#400

Description: WA General Assembly Resolution #400 shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

Argument: The World Assembly,

ACKNOWLEDGING that there are currently only 377 General Assembly resolutions, and that therefore there is no resolution #400,

OBSERVING that of the most recent 19 resolutions, 14 were either repeals or were themselves repealed,

RECOGNIZING that many resolutions in a row have been repealed over glaring problems almost immediately after being passed, for example:
#359 was repealed by #362 (3 resolutions later)
#360 was repealed by #364 (4 resolutions later)
#363 was repealed by #367 (4 resolutions later)
#365 was repealed by #368 (3 resolutions later)
#372 was repealed by #377 (5 resolutions later)

CONCLUDING that the World Assembly is incapable of ever doing anything right,

EXPECTING this trend to continue,

WISHING to save some time,

HEREBY RESOLVES to preemptively repeal whichever resolution turns out to be #400.

[Leppikania]

Wait, but what if it's a repeal? Then you would have set the GA back by a whole four days!

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

An attempt to break as many rules in the WA proposal guidelines as possible in one proposal (joke proposal)
Category: Repeal (wrong category - you'll see why later)
Strength: ALL CONSUMING! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (strength violation)
Description:

Blogging that I have yet to see something like this and that I feel that it is morally wrong to let the absence of such a proposal go unrectified, (blog)

Outraged at the lack of citrus beverages at public meetings of many of the nations the multiverse over, whether this is due to lack of citrus, lack of technology to create citrus-based beverages, or other impediments which surely exist somewhere, (plagiarism - [DRAFT] Promotion of Citrus Beverages)

Assuming that the World Assembly is only called that because the UN sued them for calling themselves the United Nations, (real world reference)

Appalled that repealing resolution #400 repeals resolution #400, (honest mistake)

Noting that [DRAFT] Promotion of Citrus Beverages excludes people with allergies or other intolerances to citrus fruit from being mandated to consume an Orange Julius, (house of cards)

Arguing that "Repeal General Assembly Resolution #400" violates national sovereignty, (would be NatSov if it was the only argument)

Hereby:

Repeals "Repeal General Assembly Resolution #400", (technically not a rule violation, but can you even repeal a repeal?)

(everything below: legislating in an appeal)

Amends GA#1 "The World Assembly" to include the following line:

5. Mandating that this fifth clause do nothing

(amendment)

Recommends that every nation make their national bird the African Wildcat, (would be optionality if this was all this proposal did)

Mandates that this proposal cannot be repealed, (blocker)

Further mandates that technocratic and meritocratic policies be adopted by all WA nations, (ideology ban)

Even further mandates that the author of this proposal, The Greater Siriusian Domain, be given a special shiny badge for their profile, (game mechanics, may count as branding?)

AND FINALLY:

日本人は世界のアセンブリの新しい言語であるマンデート、(language violation - translation: "Mandates that Japanese be the new official language of the world assembly,")

Anything else to add?

[Imperium Anglorum]

NatSov isn't on here. NatSov is only a problem if it is the only argument.

Committees isn't on here, simply because it isn't. Furthermore, it is only a violation if it is the only thing the resolution does.

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

NatSov isn't on here. NatSov is only a problem if it is the only argument.

Committees isn't on here, simply because it isn't. Furthermore, it is only a violation if it is the only thing the resolution does.

Tag for NatSov example has been edited. As for Committees, I didn't put a committees violation attempt in here anyway.

[The Second Moon Rising]

Military Organic Resource Recycling
Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Significant
Description:

Understanding that armed conflict is often unavoidable,

Realizing that participation in an armed conflict is not always the first choice for involved societies,

Dismayed that some societies treat armed conflict as a source of entertainment,

Believing that many armed conflicts can be avoided by making the idea of engaging in armed combat repugnant to most species,

The World Assembly hereby:

Defines:

--armed conflict as a contested incompatibility between two governments and/or territories, to be called Parties, leading to the intervention of armed forces between the two Parties, even if one the Parties denies the existence of a state of war, and results in at least twenty battle-related deaths per incompatibility,

--victory as a political condition in which strategic outcome is in favor one of the Parties, regardless of tactical and operational outcomes,

--hostile war casualties as as any individual who is lost to a military unit by having died of wound or disease while in action or any civilian, paramilitary, terrorist, or military force that may or may not represent the involved Parties or other involving nation or state,

Mandates whichever Party engaged in armed conflict that is currently leading in strategic outcome if the incompatibility is ongoing and/or victory if the incompatibility has concluded; consume, assimilate, absorb, internalize, or whatever metabolic equivalent is applicable, all hostile war casualties,

Further mandates that this practice be extended to all levels of military command and all government offices, branches, and committees that are involved in management and oversight in the armed conflict,

Prohibits those who fall under the purview of the above mandates from claiming religious or dietary restrictions to avoid participating,

Offers limited exemption when the natural state of a species of one involved Party is independently and scientifically proven and documented to be fatally toxic to a species of the other involved Party,

Offers full exemption to non-combatant civilians and any in-field medical personnel with no combat training,

Negates the above mandates when a Party instigates armed combat on another Party for the purpose of providing food for their population in the form of hostile war casualties,

Condemns any Party that instigates armed combat on another Party for the purpose of providing food for their population in the form of hostile war casualties.

... Have no idea how to title something like this...

Edit: Thanks to The Greater Siriusian Domain for the title.

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Significant
Description:

Understanding that armed conflict is often unavoidable,

Realizing that participation in an armed conflict is not always the first choice for involved societies,

Dismayed that some societies treat armed conflict as a source of entertainment,

Believing that many armed conflicts can be avoided by making the idea of engaging in armed combat repugnant to most species,

The World Assembly hereby:

Defines:

--armed conflict as a contested incompatibility between two governments and/or territories, to be called Parties, leading to the intervention of armed forces between the two Parties, even if one the Parties denies the existence of a state of war, and results in at least twenty battle-related deaths per incompatibility,

--victory as a political condition in which strategic outcome is in favor one of the Parties, regardless of tactical and operational outcomes,

--hostile war casualties as as any individual who is lost to a military unit by having died of wound or disease while in action or any civilian, paramilitary, terrorist, or military force that may or may not represent the involved Parties or other involving nation or state,

Mandates whichever Party engaged in armed conflict that is currently leading in strategic outcome if the incompatibility is ongoing and/or victory if the incompatibility has concluded; consume, assimilate, absorb, internalize, or whatever metabolic equivalent is applicable, all hostile war casualties,

Further mandates that this practice be extended to all levels of military command and all government offices, branches, and committees that are involved in management and oversight in the armed conflict,

Prohibits those who fall under the purview of the above mandates from claiming religious or dietary restrictions to avoid participating,

Offers limited exemption when the natural state of a species of one involved Party is independently and scientifically proven and documented to be fatally toxic to a species of the other involved Party,

Offers full exemption to non-combatant civilians and any in-field medical personnel with no combat training,

Negates the above mandates when a Party instigates armed combat on another Party for the purpose of providing food for their population in the form of hostile war casualties,

Condemns any Party that instigates armed combat on another Party for the purpose of providing food for their population in the form of hostile war casualties.

... Have no idea how to title something like this...

"Military Organic Resource Recycling" would make a good "joke that doesn't initially look like a joke" title.

[The Second Moon Rising]

"Military Organic Resource Recycling" would make a good "joke that doesn't initially look like a joke" title.

Oh, that works. Thank you.

[Wallenburg]

Armored Vehicles Proliferation Act

Recognizing armored vehicles as inherently superior in all cases as a mode of terrestrial travel;

Praising the development of advanced armored vehicles of the quality expected by militaries of many modern nations;

Lamenting the asinine failure of many member nations to produce and deploy armored vehicles more frequently;

The World Assembly hereby:

Demands that member nations provide quality armored vehicles to every inhabitant capable of operating one under standard travel conditions;

Highly encourages member nations to offer several models of armored vehicles, including those mounted with automatic guns, armor-piercing cannons, or high-energy lazers;

Mandates that member nations guarantee that all adult citizens are sufficiently trained to operate an armored vehicle;

Requires all non-armored vehicles to be either converted to armored vehicles, or impounded and destroyed as quickly as possible;

Creates the Committee on Armored Personnel Carriers, and tasks it with assisting member nations in fulfilling the mandates of this resolution, and with upgrading all armored vehicles to battle-ready condition.

[Imperium Anglorum]

Committee on Requisitions for Armoured Personnel is better.

[Bears Armed Mission]

Requiring that those armoured vehicles be mecha would be even better...

[Wallenburg]

Committee on Requisitions for Armoured Personnel is better.

Requiring that those armoured vehicles be mecha would be even better...

The voice of the people has been heard!

Amending "Armored Vehicles Proliferation Act"

Concerned that the target currently does not sufficiently ensure the proper proliferation of armored vehicles throughout civilian life;

The World Assembly hereby amends "Armored Vehicles Proliferation Act" to:

Rename the Committee on Armored Personnel Carriers to Committee on Requisitions for Armoured Personnel, as there is no reason not to, and it properly conveys the seriousness of this august body;

Mandate that all armored vehicles in member nations be upgraded as soon as physically possible so that they are in all ways mecha.

[Atomic Utopia]

On the Minimization of Linguistic Pomposity

Preamble:
Perturbed that the immoderate expansion of the linguistic sophistication of the various writs vis a vis the World Assembly may motivate sub optimal comprehension of said documents;

Arguments:
Hereby executes the implementation of a pre-meditated orchestration to extinguish the sources of magniloquent linguistic declarations in World Assembly statutes as detailed in the penultimate argument:

Thus demands that the body politic of the World Assembly abjure the use of esoteric lexical statements or be abducent from the World Assemblt;

Generates the Centralized Committee for the Systematic Extermination of Complex Lexical Terminology

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

Committee on Requisitions for Armoured Personnel is better.

Requiring that those armoured vehicles be mecha would be even better...

The voice of the people has been heard!

Amending "Armored Vehicles Proliferation Act"

Concerned that the target currently does not sufficiently ensure the proper proliferation of armored vehicles throughout civilian life;

The World Assembly hereby amends "Armored Vehicles Proliferation Act" to:

Rename the Committee on Armored Personnel Carriers to Committee on Requisitions for Armoured Personnel, as there is no reason not to, and it properly conveys the seriousness of this august body;

Mandate that all armored vehicles in member nations be upgraded as soon as physically possible so that they are in all ways mecha.

Those mechs have to be at least 75 tons in weight, too.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

Giveaway free kigurumis to WA member states
A resolution intended upon making everyone dress up in animal costumes.
Category: Silly | Area of Effect: Ummm...culture I guess IDK |Proposed by: The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp

The Nations of the World Assembly,


AWARE OF the lack of ambassadors/people in member states critical lack of animal costumes

KNOWING that kigurumis are very comfy and cuddly

HEREBY enact the following:

1. All legal citizens that are able to where a kigurumi to be distributed one kigurumi of there choosing
2. All ambassadors that have received there kigurumi must wear it in the WA at least 72 hours after receiving there kigurumi of choice
3. By law, whoever gets there kigurumi must have fun while wearing it

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

Giveaway free kigurumis to WA member states
A resolution intended upon making everyone dress up in animal costumes.
Category: Silly | Area of Effect: Ummm...culture I guess IDK |Proposed by: The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp

The Nations of the World Assembly,


AWARE OF the lack of ambassadors/people in member states critical lack of animal costumes

KNOWING that kigurumis are very comfy and cuddly

HEREBY enact the following:

1. All legal citizens that are able to where a kigurumi to be distributed one kigurumi of there choosing
2. All ambassadors that have received there kigurumi must wear it in the WA at least 72 hours after receiving there kigurumi of choice
3. By law, whoever gets there kigurumi must have fun while wearing it

OOC: Now I can't get the image of a Siriusian wearing a Siriusian Kigurumi out of my head... Siriusianception!

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

Giveaway free kigurumis to WA member states
A resolution intended upon making everyone dress up in animal costumes.
Category: Silly | Area of Effect: Ummm...culture I guess IDK |Proposed by: The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp

The Nations of the World Assembly,


AWARE OF the lack of ambassadors/people in member states critical lack of animal costumes

KNOWING that kigurumis are very comfy and cuddly

HEREBY enact the following:

1. All legal citizens that are able to where a kigurumi to be distributed one kigurumi of there choosing
2. All ambassadors that have received there kigurumi must wear it in the WA at least 72 hours after receiving there kigurumi of choice
3. By law, whoever gets there kigurumi must have fun while wearing it

OOC: Now I can't get the image of a Siriusian wearing a Siriusian Kigurumi out of my head... Siriusianception!

OOC: You should totally make that canon in your nation.

[Calladan]

(I believe that this should be the next proposal submitted to and passed by The WA, and that every right minded member should be honoured to cast a vote in support of it. And that if you can not find it within yourself to cast a vote in support of it, you should resign your membership and turn over rule of your country to a more enlightened leader. Such as me).

The Proposal For The Protection of Children

NOTING that most accidents involving children (between the age of 0 and 13) occur in the home,

NOTING that accidents are generally caused by neglect (whether on purpose or by accident),

NOTING that parents and other family members are often too emotionally involved to see what is right for their children,

NOTING that parents and other family members frequently impose their own warped, twisted moral, ethical or religious beliefs on children who have no way of knowing just how screwed up their parents actually are,

THIS PROPOSAL recommends the following :-

1) Children (under the age of thirteen) be taken from their families and raised in orphanages run by Social Services (in whatever form that takes in a given country)

2) Children are exposed to all major religious beliefs in their country of birth in equal measures, as well as the major non-religious beliefs of that country

3) Parents are permitted to visit their children once a week, provided all visits are supervised and children are not left alone with their parents

4) Any child found to be abusing, mistreating or otherwise bullying any other child will be put in a giant catapult and launched into the sun.

5) Once a child turns thirteen, they can be returned to their family, provided they are armed with a low-yield nuclear device that they can set off if they feel threatened (as a deterrent to parental abuse)

6) This law will not be applied retroactively - any child under the age of thirteen who is already alive will not be covered by this legislation.

---xxx----

I believe if you examine this, it will ensure the safety and protection of our children - ALL our children - and make the world a better place for everyone.

[The of Japan]

(I believe that this should be the next proposal submitted to and passed by The WA, and that every right minded member should be honoured to cast a vote in support of it. And that if you can not find it within yourself to cast a vote in support of it, you should resign your membership and turn over rule of your country to a more enlightened leader. Such as me).

The Proposal For The Protection of Children

NOTING that most accidents involving children (between the age of 0 and 13) occur in the home,

NOTING that accidents are generally caused by neglect (whether on purpose or by accident),

NOTING that parents and other family members are often too emotionally involved to see what is right for their children,

NOTING that parents and other family members frequently impose their own warped, twisted moral, ethical or religious beliefs on children who have no way of knowing just how screwed up their parents actually are,

THIS PROPOSAL recommends the following :-

1) Children (under the age of thirteen) be taken from their families and raised in orphanages run by Social Services (in whatever form that takes in a given country)

2) Children are exposed to all major religious beliefs in their country of birth in equal measures, as well as the major non-religious beliefs of that country

3) Parents are permitted to visit their children once a week, provided all visits are supervised and children are not left alone with their parents

4) Any child found to be abusing, mistreating or otherwise bullying any other child will be put in a giant catapult and launched into the sun.

5) Once a child turns thirteen, they can be returned to their family, provided they are armed with a low-yield nuclear device that they can set off if they feel threatened (as a deterrent to parental abuse)

6) This law will not be applied retroactively - any child under the age of thirteen who is already alive will not be covered by this legislation.

---xxx----

I believe if you examine this, it will ensure the safety and protection of our children - ALL our children - and make the world a better place for everyone.

I am appalled by this violation of national sovereignty!

[The Greater Siriusian Domain]

(I believe that this should be the next proposal submitted to and passed by The WA, and that every right minded member should be honoured to cast a vote in support of it. And that if you can not find it within yourself to cast a vote in support of it, you should resign your membership and turn over rule of your country to a more enlightened leader. Such as me).

The Proposal For The Protection of Children

NOTING that most accidents involving children (between the age of 0 and 13) occur in the home,

NOTING that accidents are generally caused by neglect (whether on purpose or by accident),

NOTING that parents and other family members are often too emotionally involved to see what is right for their children,

NOTING that parents and other family members frequently impose their own warped, twisted moral, ethical or religious beliefs on children who have no way of knowing just how screwed up their parents actually are,

THIS PROPOSAL recommends the following :-

1) Children (under the age of thirteen) be taken from their families and raised in orphanages run by Social Services (in whatever form that takes in a given country)

2) Children are exposed to all major religious beliefs in their country of birth in equal measures, as well as the major non-religious beliefs of that country

3) Parents are permitted to visit their children once a week, provided all visits are supervised and children are not left alone with their parents

4) Any child found to be abusing, mistreating or otherwise bullying any other child will be put in a giant catapult and launched into the sun.

5) Once a child turns thirteen, they can be returned to their family, provided they are armed with a low-yield nuclear device that they can set off if they feel threatened (as a deterrent to parental abuse)

6) This law will not be applied retroactively - any child under the age of thirteen who is already alive will not be covered by this legislation.

---xxx----

I believe if you examine this, it will ensure the safety and protection of our children - ALL our children - and make the world a better place for everyone.

That's not really a joke, just a proposal that would never actually be voted in.

[Calladan]

Prevention of Terrorism Act

NOTING that terrorists seem to want high value targets,

NOTING that a lot of time and effort is spent in protecting high value targets,

NOTING that if a high value target is kidnapped, governments are paralysed,

NOTING that an orderly line of succession is helpful in running a government,

the following is proposed :-

1) The moment someone is elected to a position that falls within "the line of succession" they have a 5g C4 chip implanted at the base of their skull,

2) If that someone (no matter how high up the line of succession they are) is kidnapped or otherwise taken hostage by a hostile force, the most highly placed member of government within the line of succession who is currently free must then trigger the C4 to explode, thereby denying the hostile force whatever advantage they had

3) This action must be taken as soon as is practical, to avoid the temptation of "giving in to terrorists"

4) If someone is removed from the line of succession, the C4 chip should remain because that person might be beloved by the general citizenry to still prove a tempting target and therefore could be a risk to the future of the country's political stability.

5) If someone, once elected, refuses to have a chip implanted, it will be grounds for impeachment and imprisonment.

----xxx----

(ooc - after sitting through the melodramatic crapfest that was Olympus Has Fallen, I started to wonder why they didn't just let the bad guys shoot the president in the head. That way, he would lose all his executive power and the office would fall onto the next person in the Line of Succession. And once the president was dead, the terrorists would have nothing to bargain with, so the entire might of the US army could attack them without risking The Chief Executive, since he would already be dead).

[Calladan]

GATE Moratorium Proposal

NOTING that a lot of papers (and other media types) recognise that 'Watergate' was one of the defining scandals of recent history,

NOTING that 'Watergate' was not, in fact, a scandal relating to water (in any way, shape or form) but instead a scandal relating to the 'Watergate' hotel in the nation of America,

NOTING that the first instinct of every reporter when confronted by a scandal seems to be to stick '-gate' on the end of it, either through ignorance, incompetence or laziness,

The WA hereby mandates the following :-

1) Unless a scandal actually relates to some form of gate (whether it be of the garden variety, the security variety or the logic variety), all reporters throughout The WA are prohibited from using the word "gate" as a suffix, prefix or any other type of fix when describing the said scandal.

2) If the scandal does actually relate to a gate of some type, then the word gate must be used in its literal form - to describe the gate in question - and not as a metaphor.

3) The only exception permissible under this legislation is if a reporter learns something new about the Watergate scandal (which, while unlikely, is not impossible).

4) Punishments will be closure of the any newspaper found violating this rule.

----xxxx----

(ooc - I can't be the only person this bugs, right?)

[States of Glory WA Office]

GATE Moratorium Proposal

NOTING that a lot of papers (and other media types) recognise that 'Watergate' was one of the defining scandals of recent history,

NOTING that 'Watergate' was not, in fact, a scandal relating to water (in any way, shape or form) but instead a scandal relating to the 'Watergate' hotel in the nation of America,

NOTING that the first instinct of every reporter when confronted by a scandal seems to be to stick '-gate' on the end of it, either through ignorance, incompetence or laziness,

The WA hereby mandates the following :-

1) Unless a scandal actually relates to some form of gate (whether it be of the garden variety, the security variety or the logic variety), all reporters throughout The WA are prohibited from using the word "gate" as a suffix, prefix or any other type of fix when describing the said scandal.

2) If the scandal does actually relate to a gate of some type, then the word gate must be used in its literal form - to describe the gate in question - and not as a metaphor.

3) The only exception permissible under this legislation is if a reporter learns something new about the Watergate scandal (which, while unlikely, is not impossible).

4) Punishments will be closure of the any newspaper found violating this rule.

----xxxx----

(ooc - I can't be the only person this bugs, right?)

Neville opens up a newspaper with the headline 'GATEgate: Major Newspaper Shuts Down Over Controversial WA Legislation'.