NATION

PASSWORD

[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

Where WA members debate how to improve the world, one resolution at a time.
User avatar
Kryozerkia
Retired Moderator
 
Posts: 11096
Founded: Antiquity
Ex-Nation

[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

Postby Kryozerkia » Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:09 pm

It would be unfair to place a moratorium on joke proposals, however, the threads are cluttering the first page. As a compromise, we have a mega-thread. Not to be confused with Silly and/or Illegal GA Proposals. zOMG!, this is reserved for ambassadors to let off steam in the form of parody proposals.

Joke proposals such as:
[JOKE]A Ban on Bad Things
[JOKE] Apocalypse Preparation Act
[Joke] On Crimethink

can all be posted here. :)

Have fun! 8)

ADDENDUM -- This thread is strictly for General Assembly joke proposals. If you've got a Security Council joke proposal, it can be posted over in the SC forum in its own thread. This mega-thread is strictly for the General Assembly joke proposals.
Last edited by Kryozerkia on Fri Apr 08, 2016 4:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Problem to Report?
Game-side: Getting Help
Forum-side: Moderation
Technical issue/suggestion: Technical
A-well-a, don't you know about the bird
♦ Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word ♦
♦ A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

Get the cheese to Sickbay

"Ok folks, show's over... Nothing to see here... Show's OH MY GOD! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around, don't be shy, crowd around!" -- Chief Wiggum

User avatar
Slafstopia
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1711
Founded: Jun 02, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Slafstopia » Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:10 pm

Should I ask to have my joke OP merged into this thread?
Economic Left/Right: -7.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.50
Foreign Policy Non-Interventionist/Neo-Conservative: -9.48
Cultural Liberal/Conservative: -8.09
Socio-economic Quiz: Anarchism 100%, Marxism 92%, Democratic Socialism 92%
Economic Quiz: Ghandian 100%
Alignment: Chaotic Evil


Slavyukriy, by Ceni.
Officially, Slafstopia is Lyapzem.

User avatar
Kryozerkia
Retired Moderator
 
Posts: 11096
Founded: Antiquity
Ex-Nation

Postby Kryozerkia » Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:10 pm

Slafstopia wrote:Should I ask to have my joke OP merged into this thread?

Sure. I'll see what I can do. :)
Problem to Report?
Game-side: Getting Help
Forum-side: Moderation
Technical issue/suggestion: Technical
A-well-a, don't you know about the bird
♦ Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word ♦
♦ A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

Get the cheese to Sickbay

"Ok folks, show's over... Nothing to see here... Show's OH MY GOD! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around, don't be shy, crowd around!" -- Chief Wiggum

User avatar
Araraukar
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 12351
Founded: May 14, 2007
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Araraukar » Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:12 pm

Thank you, Kryo.

EDIT: Now the first post of thread isn't your explanatory post.
2nd EDIT: And now it is. :blink: You're intentionally trying to confuse my tired brain, own up.
Last edited by Araraukar on Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"I've come to appreciate boring bureaucracy much more after my official execution..." - Johan Milkus, acting ambassador in the absence of miss Leveret
Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.

User avatar
Kryozerkia
Retired Moderator
 
Posts: 11096
Founded: Antiquity
Ex-Nation

Postby Kryozerkia » Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:14 pm

Araraukar wrote:Thank you, Kryo.

EDIT: Now the first post of thread isn't your explanatory post.

I realized that. I fixed it. To fulfill the prior request, I sent a copy of the text to Slafstopia so they can post the content of their locked thread.
Problem to Report?
Game-side: Getting Help
Forum-side: Moderation
Technical issue/suggestion: Technical
A-well-a, don't you know about the bird
♦ Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word ♦
♦ A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

Get the cheese to Sickbay

"Ok folks, show's over... Nothing to see here... Show's OH MY GOD! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around, don't be shy, crowd around!" -- Chief Wiggum

User avatar
Slafstopia
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1711
Founded: Jun 02, 2013
Ex-Nation

The Apocalypse Preparation Act

Postby Slafstopia » Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:15 pm

Greetings, ambassadors. This is my first attempt at writing a GA proposal, so it seems fitting it would be a joke. I have nothing valuable to contribute.
After the International Peacekeeping draft, I felt the need to make fun of it. Then it evolved into this.
Category: International Security
Strength: Strong
Description: The World Assembly,
NOTICING that as space programs become ever more ambitious, humanity makes itself more and more obvious to extraterrestrial sentient life,
CONCERNED that, as more and more nationstates legalise immoral practices such as gay marriage and abortion, we may anger a higher power,
DISTRESSED that these practices will undeniably lead to armageddon at the hands of the almighty,
URGING nations to please think of the children,
IGNORING the rule against creating a WA military,
CREATES the World Assembly Defense Force to fend off threats to the nations of the World Assembly,
DEFINES:
i. An apocalypse as any event leading to the extinction of the human race,
ii. Planet X as the planet that is, without question, causing the irregularities in Mercury's orbit and the 2:3 resonance of Neptune's orbit to Pluto's orbit, inhabited by the chosen lizardpeople of Spode,
iii. Spode as the almighty being at the centre of the galaxy, nestling the planets and stars in his arms,
MANDATES:
i. That all nations breed giant hawks to scare away the lizardpeople of Planet X,
ii. That all nations build temples to praise the almighty Spode so as to not invoke his wrath from the alien space zealots,
iii. That all nations teach Scientology and Raëlism in their religious education classes,
iv. That all nations ritually sacrifice one deformed sheep every lunar or solar eclipse so as to please Spode,
v. That all nations halt their space programs so as to not enrage Spode.

Category: International Security
Strength: Strong
Description: The World Assembly,
NOTICING that as space programs become ever more ambitious, humanity makes itself more and more obvious to extraterrestrial sentient life,
CONCERNED that, as more and more nationstates legalise immoral practices such as gay marriage and abortion, we may anger a higher power,
DISTRESSED that these practices will undeniably lead to armageddon at the hands of the almighty,
WORRIED that the malicious intent of Big Pharma will lead to the destruction of the human personality,
UNNERVED that eventually, Big Pharma will undeniably deem death a disorder of the mind, inciting mass zombification,
URGING nations to please think of the children,
IGNORING the rule against creating a WA military,
CREATES the World Assembly Defense Force to fend off threats to the nations of the World Assembly,
DEFINES:
i. An apocalypse as any event leading to the extinction of the human race,
ii. Planet X as the planet that is, without question, causing the irregularities in Mercury's orbit and the 2:3 resonance of Neptune's orbit to Pluto's orbit, inhabited by the chosen lizardpeople of Spode,
iii. Spode as the almighty being at the centre of the galaxy, nestling the planets and stars in his arms,
iv. Big Pharma as the collective pharmaceutical industry,
v. Death as a sacred bond between a man and a coffin,
MANDATES:
i. That all nations breed giant hawks to scare away the lizardpeople of Planet X,
ii. That all nations build temples to praise the almighty Spode so as to not invoke his wrath from the alien space zealots,
iii. That all nations teach Scientology and Raëlism in their religious education classes,
iv. That all nations ritually sacrifice one deformed sheep every lunar or solar eclipse so as to please Spode,
v. That all nations halt their space programs so as to not enrage Spode,
vi. That all nations ban psychiatric drugs to prevent the inevitable creation of the zombie hoarde.

Category: International Security
Strength: Strong
Description: The World Assembly,
NOTICING that as space programs become ever more ambitious, humanity makes itself more and more obvious to extraterrestrial sentient life,
CONCERNED that, as more and more nationstates legalise immoral practices such as gay marriage and abortion, we may anger a higher power,
DISTRESSED that these practices will undeniably lead to armageddon at the hands of the almighty,
WORRIED that the malicious intent of Big Pharma will lead to the destruction of the human personality,
UNNERVED that eventually, Big Pharma will undeniably deem death a disorder of the mind, inciting mass zombification,
SCARED that advances in physics are leading to atomic bombs becoming all the more common,
DETERMINED that nuclear fallout is icky, and the resulting nuclear winter would hurt the Hawaiian shirt industry massively,
URGING nations to please think of the children,
IGNORING the rule against creating a WA military,
CREATES the World Assembly Defense Force to fend off threats to the nations of the World Assembly,
DEFINES:
i. An apocalypse as any event leading to the extinction of the human race,
ii. Planet X as the planet that is, without question, causing the irregularities in Mercury's orbit and the 2:3 resonance of Neptune's orbit to Pluto's orbit, inhabited by the chosen lizardpeople of Spode,
iii. Spode as the almighty being at the centre of the galaxy, nestling the planets and stars in his arms,
iv. Big Pharma as the collective pharmaceutical industry,
v. Death as a sacred bond between a man and a coffin,
v. A nuclear bomb as a bomb drawing its power from the ungodly power of nuclear reactions,
MANDATES:
i. That all nations breed giant hawks to scare away the lizardpeople of Planet X,
ii. That all nations build temples to praise the almighty Spode so as to not invoke his wrath from the alien space zealots,
iii. That all nations teach Scientology and Raëlism in their religious education classes,
iv. That all nations ritually sacrifice one deformed sheep every lunar or solar eclipse so as to please Spode,
v. That all nations halt their space programs so as to not enrage Spode,
vi. That all nations ban psychiatric drugs to prevent the inevitable creation of the zombie hoarde,
vii. That all soldiers of the WADF must, upon discovering that a nationstate is in possession of a nuclear bomb, strip naked and throw cheese at it,
CLARIFIES that this resolution does not explicitly ban nuclear bombs, it merely serves to deter them via the use of coagulated milk slices.

Category: International Security
Strength: Strong
Description: The World Assembly,
NOTICING that as space programs become ever more ambitious, humanity makes itself more and more obvious to extraterrestrial sentient life,
CONCERNED that, as more and more nationstates legalise immoral practices such as gay marriage and abortion, we may anger a higher power,
DISTRESSED that these practices will undeniably lead to armageddon at the hands of the almighty,
WORRIED that the malicious intent of Big Pharma will lead to the destruction of the human personality,
UNNERVED that eventually, Big Pharma will undeniably deem death a disorder of the mind, inciting mass zombification,
SCARED that advances in physics are leading to atomic bombs becoming all the more common,
DETERMINED that nuclear fallout is icky, and the resulting nuclear winter would hurt the Hawaiian shirt industry massively,
AFRAID that a disease of any kind may ravage the world,
NERVOUS that the amount of resources on the world is finite, and rapidly decreasing,
PERTURBED that the population of the world is rapidly increasing by no less than 17,584,700,000,000 people per day,
DISGUSTED at the anthropocentric attitude of the evil capitalizt corporations, who pump dangerous chemicals into the air,
URGING nations to please think of the children,
IGNORING the rule against creating a WA military,
CREATES the World Assembly Defense Force to fend off threats to the nations of the World Assembly,
DEFINES:
i. An apocalypse as any event leading to the extinction of the human race,
ii. Planet X as the planet that is, without question, causing the irregularities in Mercury's orbit and the 2:3 resonance of Neptune's orbit to Pluto's orbit, inhabited by the chosen lizardpeople of Spode,
iii. Spode as the almighty being at the centre of the galaxy, nestling the planets and stars in his arms,
iv. Big Pharma as the collective pharmaceutical industry,
v. Death as a sacred bond between a man and a coffin,
vi. A nuclear bomb as a bomb drawing its power from the ungodly power of nuclear reactions,
vii. A pandemic as a widespread disease covering 70% of world nationstates,
viii. Overpopulation as circumstances under which there are so many people, it is a physical impossibility to swing a cat about its tail,
ix. Global warming as the warming of the globe,
x. Recursion as a recursive definition (see DEFINES-§ix),
MANDATES:
i. That all nations breed giant hawks to scare away the lizardpeople of Planet X,
ii. That all nations build temples to praise the almighty Spode so as to not invoke his wrath from the alien space zealots,
iii. That all nations teach Scientology and Raëlism in their religious education classes,
iv. That all nations ritually sacrifice one deformed sheep every lunar or solar eclipse so as to please Spode,
v. That all nations halt their space programs so as to not enrage Spode,
vi. That all nations ban psychiatric drugs to prevent the inevitable creation of the zombie hoarde,
vii. That all soldiers of the WADF must, upon discovering that a nationstate is in possession of a nuclear bomb, strip naked and throw cheese at it,
viii. That all nations hand out metal chastity suits so as to prevent all methods of pandemic transmission,
ix. That all nations give generous grants to scientific institutes studying the long-lost art of alchemy,
x. That all nations impartially kill 10,000,000 of their citizens per day so as to decrease the world's population,
xi. That all nations boil their top businessmen alive,
xii. That all nations construct giant fans, powered by solar energy, in order to cool the planet,
CLARIFIES that this resolution does not explicitly ban nuclear bombs, it merely serves to deter them via the use of coagulated milk slices.

Category: International Security
Strength: Strong

Description: The World Assembly,

NOTICING that as space programs become ever more ambitious, humanity makes itself more and more obvious to extraterrestrial sentient life,

CONCERNED that, as more and more nationstates legalise immoral practices such as gay marriage and abortion, we may anger a higher power,

DISTRESSED that these practices will undeniably lead to armageddon at the hands of the almighty,

WORRIED that the malicious intent of Big Pharma will lead to the destruction of the human personality,

UNNERVED that eventually, Big Pharma will undeniably deem death a disorder of the mind, inciting mass zombification,

SCARED that advances in physics are leading to atomic bombs becoming all the more common,

DETERMINED that nuclear fallout is icky, and the resulting nuclear winter would hurt the Hawaiian shirt industry massively,

AFRAID that a disease of any kind may ravage the world,

NERVOUS that the amount of resources on the world is finite, and rapidly decreasing,

PERTURBED that the population of the world is rapidly increasing by no less than 17,584,700,000,000 people per day,

DISGUSTED at the anthropocentric attitude of the evil capitalizt corporations, who pump dangerous chemicals into the air,

HORRIFIED that humanity continues to exist, ignoring the obvious genetic superiority of anthropomorphs,

AGHAST that so many nations allow the witchcraft practicing ponyist menace to continue,

URGING nations to please think of the children,

IGNORING the rule against creating a WA military,

CREATES the World Assembly Defense Force to fend off threats to the nations of the World Assembly,

DEFINES:
i. An apocalypse as any event leading to the extinction of the human race,
ii. Planet X as the planet that is, without question, causing the irregularities in Mercury's orbit and the 2:3 resonance of Neptune's orbit to Pluto's orbit, inhabited by the chosen lizardpeople of Spode,
iii. Spode as the almighty being at the centre of the galaxy, nestling the planets and stars in his arms,
iv. Big Pharma as the collective pharmaceutical industry,
v. Death as a sacred bond between a man and a coffin,
vi. A nuclear bomb as a bomb drawing its power from the ungodly power of nuclear reactions,
vii. A pandemic as a widespread disease covering 70% of world nationstates,
viii. Overpopulation as circumstances under which there are so many people, it is a physical impossibility to swing a cat about its tail,
ix. Global warming as the warming of the globe,
x. Recursion as a recursive definition (see DEFINES-§ix),
xi. An anthropomorph as a humanoid mammal with the characteristics of an animal, e.g. a cat,
xii. A ponyist as a sentient member of the genus Equus, or another member of a sentient species who shows great approval of sentient equids, be they earth pony, unicorn, pegasus or alicorn,

MANDATES:
i. That all nations breed giant hawks to scare away the lizardpeople of Planet X,
ii. That all nations build temples to praise the almighty Spode so as to not invoke his wrath from the alien space zealots,
iii. That all nations teach Scientology and Raëlism in their religious education classes,
iv. That all nations ritually sacrifice one deformed sheep every lunar or solar eclipse so as to please Spode,
v. That all nations halt their space programs so as to not enrage Spode,
vi. That all nations ban psychiatric drugs to prevent the inevitable creation of the zombie hoarde,
vii. That all soldiers of the WADF must, upon discovering that a nationstate is in possession of a nuclear bomb, strip naked and throw cheese at it,
viii. That all nations hand out metal chastity suits so as to prevent all methods of pandemic transmission,
ix. That all nations give generous grants to scientific institutes studying the long-lost art of alchemy,
x. That all nations impartially kill 10,000,000 of their citizens per day so as to decrease the world's population,
xi. That all nations boil their top businessmen alive,
xii. That all nations construct giant fans, powered by solar energy, in order to cool the planet,
xiii. That non-anthropomorphs be barred from positions of political, societal or economic power,
xiv. That all ponyists be burned at the stake for practicing witchcraft,

CLARIFIES that this resolution does not explicitly ban nuclear bombs, it merely serves to deter them via the use of coagulated milk slices.
Last edited by Slafstopia on Mon Aug 12, 2013 1:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
Economic Left/Right: -7.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.50
Foreign Policy Non-Interventionist/Neo-Conservative: -9.48
Cultural Liberal/Conservative: -8.09
Socio-economic Quiz: Anarchism 100%, Marxism 92%, Democratic Socialism 92%
Economic Quiz: Ghandian 100%
Alignment: Chaotic Evil


Slavyukriy, by Ceni.
Officially, Slafstopia is Lyapzem.

User avatar
Albrook
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 397
Founded: Jun 03, 2012
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Albrook » Sat Aug 03, 2013 7:10 pm

Should this be stickied so it stays at the top of the page to ensure no other joke proposal threads pop up?
WOMAN ♥ Call me Sara!~ ♥ Hail Lady Purple Heart! ♥ LOVEWHOYOUARE~

Gender and sex aren't the same thing!
I am a girl!Very confused on my political stance, Eagle Scout, some type of Protestant, obviously trans MtF (you see this sig?), and a big freaking nerd!

User avatar
The Akashic Records
Diplomat
 
Posts: 803
Founded: May 21, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby The Akashic Records » Sat Aug 03, 2013 8:09 pm

Albrook wrote:Should this be stickied so it stays at the top of the page to ensure no other joke proposal threads pop up?
I second that motion!
About my posts:
Unless otherwise stated, everything I say is in character.
Coleman T. Harrison,
WA Ambassador for The Akashic Records
On Sanity - Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
No, the idea behind it (free will) is that one has the option to be Good (tm) and the option to be Bad (tm). God is rather pro-choice. - The Alma Mater -


User avatar
Oneracon
Senator
 
Posts: 4735
Founded: Jul 18, 2012
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

[JOKE] Ban Opposite-Sex "Marriage"

Postby Oneracon » Mon Aug 05, 2013 6:10 pm

Image Image
Ban Opposite-Sex "Marriage"
A resolution to restrict civil rights in the interest of moral decency
Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Medium | Proposed by: Oneracon

The Nations of the World Assembled,

NOTING the recently renewed controversy over the definition of marriage in international law that occurs around this time every year;

WISHING to settle this contentious debate once and for all;

RECOGNIZING relationships between couples of the same sex as being of higher quality due to being based solely on love and not instinct to reproduce;

NONETHELESS EXPECTING member states to assure appropriate rights for opposite-sex couples to ensure optimal breeding and population maintenance;

HEREBY enact the following:

  1. Marriage, for the purposes of international law and the law of World Assembly member states, shall be defined as the union of two persons of the same sex to the exclusion of all others.
    • No member state shall give identical or greater rights than marriage, or equivalent domestic relationship between same-sex couples, to a couple consisting of two persons of the opposite sex.
      1. For greater clarification: the right to refer to a union as a marriage shall not be given to any other form of union besides that which is described in this resolution.
    • No member state shall allow opposite-sex couples to enter into marriage and all such marriages currently existing within World Assembly jurisdiction are hereby annulled.
      • No member state shall recognize a marriage of an opposite-sex couple that was performed outside of World Assembly jurisdiction.
        • Nothing in this resolution shall prevent member states or their sub-national jurisdictions from offering a marriage-like alternative to opposite-sex couples such as "civil union" or "domestic partnership" within their laws if they so choose, provided they do not counteract Section 2.


        Delegate Phillip Webber of Oneracon rose to address the chamber.

        "My fellow delegates, people of the world, and our honoured shadowy puppet-masters... I stand here today to present the early stages of a replacement for the Freedom of Marriage Act in the event it is repealed." He paused.

        "We all understand that while the intent of FOMA was good, the point was made during a repeal debate that same-sex couples can't have children. This got us thinking over at the secret gay propaganda and child recruitment cabal (which meet in Room 35043A a few floors up, for those of you who aren't aware) and we realized something. Why should this most hallowed assembly be encouraging unions between man and woman? Why should we be encouraging a relationship that is based entirely on the urge to reproduce?"

        "As a family man myself, I can tell you that I am indeed concerned about the children of the world. What sort of lessons must a child be learning in a family based solely on its founders' biological urge for sex? This resolution will show that the World Assembly wants children to be raised in families based on love and not primal urges, and I urge the nations of the world to support the Kingdom of Oneracon in this endeavour!"

        Checking his notes, he added "We already know of several nations who are planning to support repeals of FOMA, and we thank them for their support."

        Yes, this is just a joke proposal. Blah blah blah heterophobia blah blah, etc.
        Compass
        Economic Left/Right: -8.13
        Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.72
        Oneracon IC Links
        Factbook
        Embassies

        "The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power"
        Pro:LGBTQ+ rights, basic income, secularism, gun control, internet freedom, civic nationalism, non-military national service, independent Scotland, antifa
        Anti: Social conservatism, laissez-faire capitalism, NuAtheism, PETA, capital punishment, Putin, SWERF, TERF, GamerGate, "Alt-right" & neo-Nazism, Drumpf, ethnic nationalism, "anti-PC", pineapple on pizza

        Your resident Canadian neutral good socdem graduate student.

        *Here, queer, and not a prop for your right-wing nonsense.*

        User avatar
        Dellin
        Chargé d'Affaires
         
        Posts: 410
        Founded: Jul 01, 2013
        Ex-Nation

        Postby Dellin » Mon Aug 05, 2013 6:26 pm

        Oneracon wrote:
        (Image) (Image)
        Ban Opposite-Sex "Marriage"
        A resolution to restrict civil rights in the interest of moral decency
        Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Medium | Proposed by: Oneracon

        The Nations of the World Assembled,

        NOTING the recently renewed controversy over the definition of marriage in international law that occurs around this time every year;

        WISHING to settle this contentious debate once and for all;

        RECOGNIZING relationships between couples of the same sex as being of higher quality due to being based solely on love and not instinct to reproduce;

        NONETHELESS EXPECTING member states to assure appropriate rights for opposite-sex couples to ensure optimal breeding and population maintenance;

        HEREBY enact the following:

        1. Marriage, for the purposes of international law and the law of World Assembly member states, shall be defined as the union of two persons of the same sex to the exclusion of all others.
          • No member state shall give identical or greater rights than marriage, or equivalent domestic relationship between same-sex couples, to a couple consisting of two persons of the opposite sex.
            1. For greater clarification: the right to refer to a union as a marriage shall not be given to any other form of union besides that which is described in this resolution.
          • No member state shall allow opposite-sex couples to enter into marriage and all such marriages currently existing within World Assembly jurisdiction are hereby annulled.
            • No member state shall recognize a marriage of an opposite-sex couple that was performed outside of World Assembly jurisdiction.
              • Nothing in this resolution shall prevent member states or their sub-national jurisdictions from offering a marriage-like alternative to opposite-sex couples such as "civil union" or "domestic partnership" within their laws if they so choose, provided they do not counteract Section 2.


              Delegate Phillip Webber of Oneracon rose to address the chamber.

              "My fellow delegates, people of the world, and our honoured shadowy puppet-masters... I stand here today to present the early stages of a replacement for the Freedom of Marriage Act in the event it is repealed." He paused.

              "We all understand that while the intent of FOMA was good, the point was made during a repeal debate that same-sex couples can't have children. This got us thinking over at the secret gay propaganda and child recruitment cabal (which meet in Room 35043A a few floors up, for those of you who aren't aware) and we realized something. Why should this most hallowed assembly be encouraging unions between man and woman? Why should we be encouraging a relationship that is based entirely on the urge to reproduce?"

              "As a family man myself, I can tell you that I am indeed concerned about the children of the world. What sort of lessons must a child be learning in a family based solely on its founders' biological urge for sex? This resolution will show that the World Assembly wants children to be raised in families based on love and not primal urges, and I urge the nations of the world to support the Kingdom of Oneracon in this endeavour!"

              Checking his notes, he added "We already know of several nations who are planning to support repeals of FOMA, and we thank them for their support."

              Yes, this is just a joke proposal. Blah blah blah heterophobia blah blah, etc.


              Haha, you beat me to it. I had mentioned a ban on opposite-sex marriage in the current FoMA repeal debate since people seem to assume such a ban already exists. Might as well make it a reality!
              Interim WA Ambassador: Sarith Judea, Protector of Dellin

              User avatar
              Oneracon
              Senator
               
              Posts: 4735
              Founded: Jul 18, 2012
              Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

              Postby Oneracon » Mon Aug 05, 2013 6:45 pm

              Dellin wrote:Haha, you beat me to it. I had mentioned a ban on opposite-sex marriage in the current FoMA repeal debate since people seem to assume such a ban already exists. Might as well make it a reality!


              I actually had this kicking around since about 2 repeal attempts ago :lol:
              Compass
              Economic Left/Right: -8.13
              Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.72
              Oneracon IC Links
              Factbook
              Embassies

              "The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power"
              Pro:LGBTQ+ rights, basic income, secularism, gun control, internet freedom, civic nationalism, non-military national service, independent Scotland, antifa
              Anti: Social conservatism, laissez-faire capitalism, NuAtheism, PETA, capital punishment, Putin, SWERF, TERF, GamerGate, "Alt-right" & neo-Nazism, Drumpf, ethnic nationalism, "anti-PC", pineapple on pizza

              Your resident Canadian neutral good socdem graduate student.

              *Here, queer, and not a prop for your right-wing nonsense.*

              User avatar
              Discoveria
              Diplomat
               
              Posts: 689
              Founded: Jan 16, 2006
              New York Times Democracy

              Postby Discoveria » Tue Aug 06, 2013 12:34 pm

              Oneracon wrote:*snip*


              Very nice. Heh. :twisted:

              May the art of using Joke proposals for ridicule and satire long continue!

              Edit: While I'm here, might as well provide links to my previous joke proposals.
              Convention Against Death
              Abolish God
              Last edited by Discoveria on Tue Aug 06, 2013 12:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
              "...to be the most effective form of human government."
              Professor Simon Goldacre, former Administrator of the Utopia Foundation
              WA Ambassador: Matthew Turing

              The Utopian Commonwealth of Discoveria
              Founder of LGBT University

              A member of | The Stonewall Alliance | UN Old Guard
              Nation | OOC description | IC Factbook | Timeline

              User avatar
              Zeganas
              Ambassador
               
              Posts: 1020
              Founded: Jul 26, 2011
              Civil Rights Lovefest

              [JOKE]Repeal a ban on bad things

              Postby Zeganas » Thu Aug 08, 2013 2:46 pm

              Category: Moral Decency, Strength: significant


              NOTING that people have become very spoiled.

              APPALLED that spoiled people can become lazy.

              ALSO NOTING that if there are more lazy people, you get less $.

              SHOWS that bad things are needed to keep people from eating too much bugers.

              ALLOWS the occurrence of bad things to start back up.

              BELIEVES people would and should get off their butts in their living rooms to get rid of the bad things.
              My main IC factbook

              INTP-T, gay, furry, ohioan, fiscally centrist socially liberal, worldbuilder


              Nation: United Republics of Zeganas
              Tier: 8
              Level: 0
              Type: 6
              Power Comparator: 10.5

              User avatar
              Auralia
              Senator
               
              Posts: 4907
              Founded: Dec 15, 2011
              New York Times Democracy

              Postby Auralia » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:19 am

              Legalize Fourth-Trimester Abortions
              Category: Human Rights | Strength: Significant

              CONVINCED that attempts to assign personhood to non-sapient infants are ridiculous,

              BELIEVING that women should not be burdened by an unwanted post-pregnancy,

              CONCERNED that fourth-trimester abortions are currently illegal in the vast majority of member nations,

              The General Assembly,

              DECLARES that infanticide shall be legal in all member nations for a minimum of three months after birth.
              Catholic Commonwealth of Auralia
              Also known as Railana

              "Amor sequitur cognitionem."

              User avatar
              The Akashic Records
              Diplomat
               
              Posts: 803
              Founded: May 21, 2013
              Ex-Nation

              Postby The Akashic Records » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:23 am

              Auralia wrote:
              Legalize Fourth-Trimester Abortions
              Category: Human Rights | Strength: Significant

              CONVINCED that attempts to assign personhood to non-sapient infants are ridiculous,

              BELIEVING that women should not be burdened by an unwanted post-pregnancy,

              CONCERNED that fourth-trimester abortions are currently illegal in the vast majority of member nations,

              The General Assembly,

              DECLARES that infanticide shall be legal in all member nations for a minimum of three months after birth.

              If this wasn't a joke, I'd probably flip a few tables. Heck, I'm already flipping a few tables right now.
              About my posts:
              Unless otherwise stated, everything I say is in character.
              Coleman T. Harrison,
              WA Ambassador for The Akashic Records
              On Sanity - Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
              No, the idea behind it (free will) is that one has the option to be Good (tm) and the option to be Bad (tm). God is rather pro-choice. - The Alma Mater -

              User avatar
              Auralia
              Senator
               
              Posts: 4907
              Founded: Dec 15, 2011
              New York Times Democracy

              Postby Auralia » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:32 am

              The Akashic Records wrote:
              Auralia wrote:
              Legalize Fourth-Trimester Abortions
              Category: Human Rights | Strength: Significant

              If this wasn't a joke, I'd probably flip a few tables. Heck, I'm already flipping a few tables right now.


              The scary thing is that there are a number of prominent bioethicists who are suggesting just that.
              Catholic Commonwealth of Auralia
              Also known as Railana

              "Amor sequitur cognitionem."

              User avatar
              Hirota
              Negotiator
               
              Posts: 5049
              Founded: Jan 22, 2004
              Civil Rights Lovefest

              Postby Hirota » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:44 am

              Old school, since these are the standards all proper joke proposals should aspire to.
              HIPPOS ARE BIG
              A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.
              Category: Human Rights | Strength: Strong | Proposed By: Architeuthis

              Description: WHEREAS the participants of the NationStates forum, while quite noisy, do not accurately represent the vast majority of the NationStates players, and;

              WHEREAS said vast majority of players unequivocably support the Freedom of Humor for all, and;

              WHEREAS hippos are indeed quite large,

              I hold this truth to be self-evident...

              HIPPOS ARE BIG.


              Inflatable Gandalf Act
              A resolution to improve world security by boosting police and military budgets.
              Category: International Security | Strength: Strong | Proposed By: Royston--Vasey

              Description: The Government of Royston--Vasey has noted a rise in the number of road deaths in all nations in the past 10 years. This is due to the reckless driving of some people who do not stop at crossings. To encourage drivers to stop and so reduce road deaths, the Inflatable Gandalf Act would install 4 inflatable Gandalfs on all road crossings which shout "You shall not pass" at speeding vehicles which refuse to stop at crossings where pedestrians are waiting to cross. Where there are no road crossings, the act would provide the local residents with their very own Inflatable Gandalf to aid safe passage.
              When a wise man points at the moon the imbecile examines the finger

              It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
              Known to trigger Grammar Nazis, Spelling Nazis, Actual Nazis, the emotionally stunted, pedants and koi carp.
              Those affected by the views, opinions or general demeanour of this poster should review this puppy picture. Those affected by puppy pictures should consider investing in an isolation tank.
              Economic Left/Right: -3.25, Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.03
              Isn't it curious how people will claim they are against tribalism, then pigeonhole themselves into tribes?

              User avatar
              The Akashic Records
              Diplomat
               
              Posts: 803
              Founded: May 21, 2013
              Ex-Nation

              Postby The Akashic Records » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:14 am

              This is pretty good too.
              Mad Sheep Railgun Proposal
              A resolution to improve world security by boosting police and military budgets.
              Category: International Security | Strength: Strong | Proposed By: Craigkennyland


              Baaaaaaaaaa!!!
              Description: By coating rams with steel wool and injecting them with rabies, they can be fired from a large railgun mounted on the backs of enslaved people who look like Hitler. Hurrah!
              Furthermore, a man was walking down the street the other week, and had he been wearing a hat, he would still be alive today.......
              Oh, I see he is. How are you feeling, Mr. Jenkins? I understood you had died of crabs. Never mind. For my next point, just consider: do you have crabs, how do you know and were your genitals the same shape they were when you got up in the morning?
              .............
              Not anymore, bucko! *snip*!
              I rest my case. Nurse! My medication!
              About my posts:
              Unless otherwise stated, everything I say is in character.
              Coleman T. Harrison,
              WA Ambassador for The Akashic Records
              On Sanity - Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
              No, the idea behind it (free will) is that one has the option to be Good (tm) and the option to be Bad (tm). God is rather pro-choice. - The Alma Mater -

              User avatar
              Araraukar
              Postmaster-General
               
              Posts: 12351
              Founded: May 14, 2007
              Corrupt Dictatorship

              Postby Araraukar » Fri Aug 09, 2013 7:30 am

              Auralia wrote:DECLARES that infanticide shall be legal in all member nations for a minimum of three months after birth.[/box]

              PPU would vote for that, but then a hivemind isn't probably the best judge of an individual's worth. :P
              "I've come to appreciate boring bureaucracy much more after my official execution..." - Johan Milkus, acting ambassador in the absence of miss Leveret
              Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.

              User avatar
              Helltank
              Diplomat
               
              Posts: 838
              Founded: Jun 23, 2011
              Ex-Nation

              Postby Helltank » Mon Aug 12, 2013 5:12 am

              An old one I had lying around.
              The World Assembly hereby:

              RECOGNISES the need to lower crime rates in many nations.

              FURTHER RECOGNISES that the most effective way of doing so is to scare potential criminals into not committing crimes at all.

              DEFINES "serious crime" as the act of committing a crime that physically injures another, living, human being.

              FURTHER DEFINES "very serious crime" as the act of mentally injuring or taking the life of another, living, human being

              REQUIRES the passing of a law that any human being who is found guilty of having committed a serious or very serious crime to undergo a punishment, known as "Severe Punishment".

              REQUIRES "Severe Punishment" to be split into two categories:"Serious", and "Very Serious". Criminals committing Serious and Very Serious crimes shall be sorted into these two categories, respectively.

              REQUIRES countries to execute criminals undergoing Severe Punishment, which includes other punishment. This punishment is defined as below:

              (i)For criminals in the "Serious" category, children will be allowed and encouraged to use government-provided permanent markers to mark, in any way, shape or form, the criminal, before execution by guillotine.

              (i)For criminals in the "Very Serious" category, citizens of all ages will be allowed and encouraged to use government-provided wooden paddles to beat the criminal to death.

              ESTABLISHES a "Severe Punishment World Assembly Council", whose role will be to oversee the Severe Punishment, including sorting, pardons by the president of any nation, funding, purchase and distribution of permanent markers and wooden paddles, inspecting the quality of wooden paddles etc. etc.

              ENCOURAGES governments to give out prizes related to Severe Punishment, such as "Most Creative Marking" and "Hardest Single Handed Wooden Paddle Hit".

              BELIEVES that public display of Severe Punishment will discourage future criminals from crimes, especially Serious or Very Serious crimes.

              I like it because it's so deadpan.
              Fear the wrath of:
              Supreme Overlord Helltank (International Incidents)
              Ivy Beliazrael, WA-Demon-Delegate (General Assembly)
              The Conniver, Shady Salesman Extraordinaire (GE&T)
              Lord Sage, High Scholar (Factbooks and National Information)

              User avatar
              Sensorland
              Ambassador
               
              Posts: 1748
              Founded: Jun 30, 2013
              Ex-Nation

              (JOKE) On Stuff

              Postby Sensorland » Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:24 pm

              Hey guys, I decided to make my second joke proposal. This one's VERY funny.

              Image





              On Stuff
              A resolution to restrict civil freedoms in the interest of moral decency

              Category: Moral Decency | Strength: Strong | Proposed By: Sensorland

              Description: The World Assembly,

              OVERLOOKING the fact that some stuff is good;

              NOTICING stuff that is bad

              REALIZING something must be done about bad stuff;

              Hereby:

              DEFINES:
              Stuff as things,

              Things as stuff,

              Bad as not good,

              and Good as not bad;

              FURTHER DEFINES:
              Oompa-Loompas as cocoa-loving creatures who work at Willy Wonka's factory,

              This proposal as being redundant;

              MANDATES

              (i). That member NationStates ban all stuff.
              (ii). That member NationStates impose a death penalty on anyone caught in possession of, using, or owning stuff,
              (iii). That member NationStates break into Willy Wonka's factory and free all the Oompa-Loompas;

              CREATES

              The International Oompa-Loompa Stuff Destroying Organization (IOSDO);

              REQUIRES The IOSDO to:

              (i). Only hire Oompa-Loompas.
              (ii). Pay the Oompa-Loompas in Cacao Beans.
              (iii). Build lots of Bombs and Nukes to destroy stuff.
              (iv). Also use these bombs and nukes to destroy things;

              DECLARES that stuff is now illegal within all WA NationStates.


              Hope you liked it! ;)
              Last edited by Sensorland on Thu Aug 22, 2013 8:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.
              ---I N T P---
              Pro:
              Bernie Sanders
              Universal Welfare
              Education For All
              Abortion (legally)
              Religious Freedom
              LGBTQ+ Rights
              Gun Control
              Anti:
              Donald Trump
              Ted Cruz
              Political Apathy
              Abortion (morally)
              Ground Troops in Syria
              Extremism
              Flat Tax
              Have a free cookie!
              Telegram me if you want to talk politics!
              - -

              User avatar
              Araraukar
              Postmaster-General
               
              Posts: 12351
              Founded: May 14, 2007
              Corrupt Dictatorship

              Postby Araraukar » Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:32 pm

              Sensorland wrote:My Joke proposals:

              On Stuff:
              viewtopic.php?f=9&t=257165

              Condemn And Commend All Good People (Security Council):
              viewtopic.php?f=24&t=253905

              I meant, post the proposals here. Don't link to them.

              EDIT: And don't post the SC one, this is for GA joke proposals only.

              MODEDIT: Left this post in as a summary of events before that thread was merged with this. Also to confirm Araraukar's no-SC-proposals comment.
              Last edited by Ardchoille on Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.
              "I've come to appreciate boring bureaucracy much more after my official execution..." - Johan Milkus, acting ambassador in the absence of miss Leveret
              Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.

              User avatar
              Bodobol
              Negotiator
               
              Posts: 6942
              Founded: Jan 12, 2010
              Left-wing Utopia

              Postby Bodobol » Fri Aug 16, 2013 11:45 pm

              Image Image
              Repeal 'Freedom of Marriage Act'
              A resolution to restrict basic human rights because my religion says so
              Category: Moral Decency || Strength: Moderate || Proposed by: Bodobol


              RECOGNIZING the purpose of GAR #15- 'Freedom of Marriage Act', to allow two consenting adults the right to marry and be happy together, regardless of their sex,

              HOWEVER CONCERNED that, unfortunately, this act also allows icky gay people to get married,

              CITING Bobby 6:66 from the Big Book of Bobism, which says that homosexuality is wrong and icky,

              CONCERNED that allowing homosexuals to marry will ruin the religious institution of marriage (despite the fact that marriage outdates Bobism),

              REALIZING that there is a separation of church and state in the World Assembly,

              FURTHER REALIZING that I don't care about that silly old rule,

              OVERLOOKING the fact that I may or may not be a closeted homosexual myself,

              HEREBY REPEALS GAR #15- 'Freedom of Marriage Act', on the grounds that it offends my religion and I refuse to acknowledge that not everybody follows my religion and I shouldn't force my religion upon them.
              Last.fm - Founder of Nesapo, est. 2013
              Impaled Nazarene wrote:Just learn to accept Bod like i did

              Impaled Nazarene wrote:I take your cold hard facts and shove them up Scott Ian's receding asshair. I make up shit as I go which is why i established a protestant church because that's what they do.
              Trever wrote:Bodo, even if you are a fenda, your hatred of anime makes me like you.

              User avatar
              Saveyou Island
              Minister
               
              Posts: 2746
              Founded: Jul 05, 2013
              Ex-Nation

              Postby Saveyou Island » Thu Aug 22, 2013 8:18 pm

              Think About The Children Act
              The World Assembly,
              ACKNOWLEDGING children

              NOTING that thinking about the children important

              BELIEVING that we should think about the children

              CONVINCED that we need to mandate thinking about the children

              SHOCKED that we don't think about the children so often

              URGING nations to think about the children

              HEREBY MANDATES that we think about the children

              EDIT: Crap, was this dead?
              Last edited by Saveyou Island on Thu Aug 22, 2013 8:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
              Ambassador Jack Fort, author of GA#264
              Anything I posted before 2016 is stupid and should be ignored. That partially includes GA 264.

              Next

              Advertisement

              Remove ads

              Return to General Assembly

              Who is online

              Users browsing this forum: ChoenStan, Sierra Lyricalia, Tinhampton

              Advertisement

              Remove ads