[SCRATCHED/CLOSED] Radiology Research Act

[Gingeyland]

My improved Radiology Research Act Proposal, please have a look and comment your opinions. PLEASEEEEE tell me what can be better

Draft 1:

The Radiotherapy Research Act

Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research | Proposed by: Gingeyland

The General Assembly,

DEFINITION/OVERVIEW:
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current local diseases are destroying countries populace health, as well as morale.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research in forms of astounding new medical treatments and antibiotics to cure normally-fatal illnesses as well as developing more preventative vaccines for recently uncovered diseases.

BEING AWARE of the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and to comprehend the idea of faster, more reliable diagnoses of patients; whether it be a simple common cold to a heart disease.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

Hereby:

(i) Allows the WA to give the respective regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to preform on the populace, as long as such use is granted under the WA-approved medical restrictions and liabilities.

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by WA health officials.

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Nuclear Research Facilities from one government's possession.

(iv) Allows any and all scientists to share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.

ESTABLISHING: the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment. Requires facility workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA.


In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, we MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place.

Draft 2:

The Radiotherapy Research Act

Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research | Proposed by: Gingeyland

The General Assembly,

DEFINITION/OVERVIEW:
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research.

REALIZING the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and medical practice.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

Hereby:

(i) Allows the WA to give the respective regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace.

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by WA health officials.

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.

(iv) Allows any and all scientists to share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.

(v) Establishes the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment.

(vi) Requires workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA.


In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, we MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place.

Draft 3:



The Radiotherapy Research Act

Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research | Proposed by: Gingeyland

The WA General Assembly,

PREAMBLE:

OVERVIEW:
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research, such as cures for diseases localized to different regions.

REALIZING the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and medical practice.

GIVING CHOICEallocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

SECTION I:

Hereby:

(i) Allows the WA to give the reserve the right to give regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace.

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by Radiological Research Society Officials.

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.

(iv) Allows any and all scientists to share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.

SECTION II:

ESTABLISHING: the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment. Requires facility workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA GA.

FINAL STATEMENT:

In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, the World Assembly MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place. Localized diseases are starting to take a toll on he population, and we must start early in taking effective measures to stop these pathogens from undermining our nations' health.

[Communist republic of altorus]

Looks good but I cannot vote as I am not a WA ember

[Gingeyland]

Looks good but I cannot vote as I am not a WA ember

OOC: No problem just glad to have my fellow region members' approval

[Korena]

I don't see how this would affect anyone. I mean, isn't it basically stating a nation's RIGHT to decide whether or not they want to do this?

[Gingeyland]

I don't see how this would affect anyone. I mean, isn't it basically stating a nation's RIGHT to decide whether or not they want to do this?

Please read sections iv and v of the mandating statements I can see why you are confused, and hopefully that will clear this up

[Potted Plants United]

OOC: Leave the proposal visible on the first post. Spoilering old drafts in first post is fine, but make the current one visible.

[Gingeyland]

OOC: Leave the proposal visible on the first post. Spoilering old drafts in first post is fine, but make the current one visible.

OOC: Alright any other comments or concerns on the draft so far?

[Ceni]

Red is changes, Green is comments

The Radiotherapy Research Act

Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research | Proposed by: Gingeyland

The General Assembly,

DEFINITION/OVERVIEW:
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer. What is this supposed to be?

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases. Okay.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps. Wouldn't this go in the body?

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research in forms of astounding new medical treatments and antibiotics to cure normally-fatal illnesses as well as developing more preventative vaccines for recently uncovered diseases.

BEING AWARE of REALIZINGthe potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society,and to comprehend the idea of faster, more reliable diagnoses of patients; whether it be a simple common cold to a heart disease.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

Hereby:

(i) Allows the WA to give the respective regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to preform on the populace, as long as such use is granted under the WA-approved medical restrictions and liabilities. Can't they do that already, without this proposal?

I'll have the rest later.

[Potted Plants United]

OOC: Not all nations are on the same technological level. What you're suggesting may be ancient history for some and far future science fiction for others. Ceni's strike-out suggestions are good.

I'm reserving judgement on what I think about this act, once it's been refined at least once.

[Gingeyland]

Thank you Ceni and Potted Plants for voicing your opinion and concerns I will be sure to revise this

[Gingeyland]

Red is changes, Green is comments

The Radiotherapy Research Act

Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research | Proposed by: Gingeyland

The General Assembly,

DEFINITION/OVERVIEW:
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer. What is this supposed to be?

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases. Okay.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps. Wouldn't this go in the body?

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research in forms of astounding new medical treatments and antibiotics to cure normally-fatal illnesses as well as developing more preventative vaccines for recently uncovered diseases.

BEING AWARE of REALIZINGthe potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society,and to comprehend the idea of faster, more reliable diagnoses of patients; whether it be a simple common cold to a heart disease.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

Hereby:

(i) Allows the WA to give the respective regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to preform on the populace, as long as such use is granted under the WA-approved medical restrictions and liabilities. Can't they do that already, without this proposal?

I'll have the rest later.

OOC: Not all nations are on the same technological level. What you're suggesting may be ancient history for some and far future science fiction for others. Ceni's strike-out suggestions are good.

I'm reserving judgement on what I think about this act, once it's been refined at least once.

Draft 2 is up, please tell me what you think

[Araraukar]

Draft 2 is up, please tell me what you think

Leave. The. Current. Draft. Visible.

Only spoiler the draft that's no longer under scrutiny.

[Gingeyland]

Draft 2 is up, please tell me what you think

Leave. The. Current. Draft. Visible.

Only spoiler the draft that's no longer under scrutiny.

Okay, chill out ._.

[Araraukar]

Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research

This isn't a real category. Look here for categories that actually exist.

DEFINITION/OVERVIEW:

The word you're looking for, is preamble.

(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.

Unfounded assumption. RL=/= NS.

(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.

Humancentric doesn't fly far here, for the most part. And this sounds just like wistful thinking.

(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

...WHAT? Do you even know what concussion is? Also, most cancer cure research these days is concentrated on biochemical solutions to induce cell death in cancer cells, NOT radiation therapy. If you have sources that say otherwise, please telegram me, I'm interested in this.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.
ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

Whatabout the nations that are going for biochemical solutions? Who cares, yes?

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

I would rather say they lack, or don't want to have, the correct level of technology, rather than the equipment.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research.

Exactly what do you mean by this?

REALIZING the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

Radiation is not a chemical. Nor is it "stored in the body".

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and medical practice.

Exploring how?

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

...so this makes it all optional and thus illegal?

(i) Allows the WA to give the respective regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace.

Any mention of regions = illegal proposal. Also, wouldn't the nations already have that power? Not to mention that is an incredibly clumsy sentence, try breaking it up into two.

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by WA health officials.

WA-approved training/education? Seriously? Talk about micromanaging. Also, if you're making WA oversee something, you need to either refer to an existing committee or create one. Additionally, you'd better read previous resolutions to make sure you're not contradicting/duplicating them.

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.

Please tell me you have the faintest idea of how the WA works.

(iv) Allows any and all scientists to share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.

This needs to go AFTER the next bit to make any sense.

(v) Establishes the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment.

Drop the "sponsored", since all committees are "sponsored" by WA. Also, nations do not sit in committees, and an international union like that would still count as a committee. (Also there might be previous legislation out on unions, check for that.)

(vi) Requires workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA.

My head hurts from the illogic of this sentence.

In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, we MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place.

I don't think you've given enough valid reasons why that should happen. And even if it was a good idea, the proposal is currently illegal for reasons I mentioned.

[Suevo-Prussia]

Ambassador Nils Becker: Well, I've seen worse proposals... And I've got some time on my hands, so here goes:

The Radiotherapy Research Act
Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research | Proposed by: Gingeyland
That's not a thing. The area of effect doesn't exist and a look at the areas of effect available should prove that you are also in the wrong category.
In the future, please choose a category first and then write the proposal, you avoid falling in the wrong category or covering several categories (both of which would be grounds for having your proposal shot down by the Secretariat. I'll admit that it's hard to find a category for this topic, but there have been other resolutions on medical research and you could look them up and check what category they belong to.

The WA General Assembly,
It's not the Eisenach Elementary School Student's General Assembly, it's the WA GA!

DEFINITION/OVERVIEW: This section contains no definition whatsoever.
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research.
Which are?

REALIZING the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and medical practice.
Really? The WA General Assembly is exploring this? Please bear in mind that you are constructing complete sentences here. THe subject of your sentence is The WA General Assembly. As a member of that assembly I don't believe that this assembly is exploring anything.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

Hereby:

(i) Allows the WA to give the respective regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace.
First of all:
This resolution allows the WA to give power to the nations to do [blah blah]? Sooo... to actually give that power we would have to make another resolution, because this one would only reserve the WA's right to give that power in the future.
Secondly: Since this facilities are not forbidden by the WA, they are already allowed. You're giving nations the power to do what they can already do? Yay!

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by WA health officials.
We have to approve a health code for this? Seriously? Please refer that to a commitee. Also, what is a WA health official?

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.
Again: The WA is a busy body. Please refer such things to a commitee

(iv) Allows any and all scientists to share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.
Well no you're just contradicting yourself. First you say that all scientists may publish and collaborate as they see fit and next you say they must obtain several permissions? Who is this RRS? Isn't the ministry of Public Health part of the government? Also, what about nations that don't have a ministry of public health?

(v) Establishes the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment.
Nope. Gnomes.

(vi) Requires workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA.
If I can't seem to write a proper WA resolution, how on earth is a worker supposed to write a law?

In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, we MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place.
Who is 'we'? Also, Why?

[Gingeyland]

Ambassador Nils Becker: Well, I've seen worse proposals... And I've got some time on my hands, so here goes:

The Radiotherapy Research Act
Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research | Proposed by: Gingeyland
That's not a thing. The area of effect doesn't exist and a look at the areas of effect available should prove that you are also in the wrong category.
In the future, please choose a category first and then write the proposal, you avoid falling in the wrong category or covering several categories (both of which would be grounds for having your proposal shot down by the Secretariat. I'll admit that it's hard to find a category for this topic, but there have been other resolutions on medical research and you could look them up and check what category they belong to.

The WA General Assembly,
It's not the Eisenach Elementary School Student's General Assembly, it's the WA GA!

DEFINITION/OVERVIEW: This section contains no definition whatsoever.
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research.
Which are?

REALIZING the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and medical practice.
Really? The WA General Assembly is exploring this? Please bear in mind that you are constructing complete sentences here. THe subject of your sentence is The WA General Assembly. As a member of that assembly I don't believe that this assembly is exploring anything.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

Hereby:

(i) Allows the WA to give the respective regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace.
First of all:
This resolution allows the WA to give power to the nations to do [blah blah]? Sooo... to actually give that power we would have to make another resolution, because this one would only reserve the WA's right to give that power in the future.
Secondly: Since this facilities are not forbidden by the WA, they are already allowed. You're giving nations the power to do what they can already do? Yay!

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by WA health officials.
We have to approve a health code for this? Seriously? Please refer that to a commitee. Also, what is a WA health official?

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.
Again: The WA is a busy body. Please refer such things to a commitee

(iv) Allows any and all scientists to share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.
Well no you're just contradicting yourself. First you say that all scientists may publish and collaborate as they see fit and next you say they must obtain several permissions? Who is this RRS? Isn't the ministry of Public Health part of the government? Also, what about nations that don't have a ministry of public health?

(v) Establishes the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment.
Nope. Gnomes.

(vi) Requires workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA.
If I can't seem to write a proper WA resolution, how on earth is a worker supposed to write a law?

In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, we MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place.
Who is 'we'? Also, Why?

OOC: Draft 3 is up, please check it out

[Gingeyland]

OOC: I also will be changing the Category and Area of Affect later

[Kidlantis]

Ambassador-general Nickelson takes out his ballpoint pen and starts writing

OVERVIEW:
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.

Why? The vaccine for Kidlantian Malaria seems fine. Also, some nations are either (a) Not advancing or (b) advanced so much that all diseases are wiped out.

(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.

Humans aren't the only sentient creatures on in the world, as I've learned the hard way. (Looks at ivy in corner.)

(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

So? Some nations already have a cure for cancer or have an idea of what concussions look like.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research, such as cures for diseases localized to different regions.

Yes, preamble.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

Seems like an opt-out clause to me. Resolutions need to be binding to all member states.

(i) Allows the WA to give the reserve the right to give regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace.

So your're allowing governments to conduct forced research on the populace. In other words, they can conduct experiments on a person without their consent? Also, the WA doesn't have a right to do that. Read what I said above as well.

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by Radiological Research Society Officials.

Tell me what is this health code, and who are these Radiological Research Society Officials?

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.

It seems the WA has all the power in this resolution...

iv) Allows any and all scientists to share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.

These people again? Who are they? Also, why should they have to receive approval?

ESTABLISHING: the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment. Requires facility workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA GA.

Oh, that's who they are. In areas deemed fit for research? That seems like individual nations and I believe, an opt-out clause.

In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, the World Assembly MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place. Localized diseases are starting to take a toll on he population, and we must start early in taking effective measures to stop these pathogens from undermining our nations' health.

These laws are what?

Nickelson then walked to the GA chamber and addressed the following points. He then returned to his private office to play Sudoku.

[Ceni]

Edits in red, comments in green

The WA General Assembly,

OVERVIEW:
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING PERCEIVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research,such as cures for diseases localized to different regions.

REALIZING the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and medical practice.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.Belongs in the body

Hereby:

(i)Allows the WA to give the reserve the right to give regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace. GIVES regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace.

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by Radiological Research Society Officials.

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.

(iv)Allows any and all scientists MANDATES that scientists share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. [color=#FF0000]Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.

ESTABLISHING: the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment. Requires facility workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA GA. ESTABLISHES the Radiological Research Society

REQUIRES facility workers facility workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society

In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, the World Assembly MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place. Localized diseases are starting to take a toll on he population, and we must start early in taking effective measures to stop these pathogens from undermining our nations' health.

OOC: This is my 300th post

[Gingeyland]

Edits in red, comments in green

The WA General Assembly,

OVERVIEW:
(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.
(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases thought, if I may, to be unstoppable.
(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

APPLAUDING nations already taking action to develop Radiological cures for diseases.

ENCOURAGING other nations to follow in their footsteps.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

PERCIEVING PERCEIVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research,such as cures for diseases localized to different regions.

REALIZING the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and medical practice.

GIVING CHOICE allocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.Belongs in the body

Hereby:

(i)Allows the WA to give the reserve the right to give regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace. GIVES regions and governments the power to create facilities to operate Radiotherapy equipment with the ability to perform research and based on that research preform Radiological related processes on the populace.

(ii) Allows the governments to then operate such facilities as long as maintained by a standard WA-approved health code, with adequate operating staff having gone through WA-approved training/education. Such facilities can, and will be shut down if deemed unfit or poorly operated by Radiological Research Society Officials.

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.

(iv)Allows any and all scientists MANDATES that scientists share and collaborate with each other on such studies and findings, as well as allowing such studies and findings to be published. [color=#FF0000]Any scientists testing and/or practicing said studies must receive further permission from their government, the Radiological Research Society, and their governmental ministry of Public Health.

ESTABLISHING: the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research. The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment. Requires facility workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA GA. ESTABLISHES the Radiological Research Society

REQUIRES facility workers facility workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society

In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, the World Assembly MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place. Localized diseases are starting to take a toll on he population, and we must start early in taking effective measures to stop these pathogens from undermining our nations' health.

OOC: This is my 300th post

OOC: Thanks man and nice job on 300. I've put up my Draft v3.5ish, it has some of your changes but not all.

bump (sorry!)

[Potted Plants United]

OOC post.

Since you seem to be ignoring more subtle comments, I've decided to make the main issues a bit more visible.

Draft 3:
The Radiotherapy Research Act

Category: Advancement of Industry | Area of Effect: Medical Research | Proposed by: Gingeyland

This does not exist. You need to use one of the existing categories, which have been linked for you several times.

(A)As our knowledge and the field of science begins to advance, current medical practices are no longer able to treat or cure new diseases.

Real life is not same as NationStates. You have no proof of this, other than possibly your own nation, which means it's probably not true internationally.

(B) With "nurturing" our ability to comprehend the human anatomy, we can begin to find ways to cure diseases

Not all nations are populated by humans, drop the "human" from there.

thought if I may, to be unstoppable.

Drop this entirely, it has nothing to do with anything else, plus putting I/we/you in a proposal text probably bounces it onto the illegal side anyway. (Additionally, I think you mean "though".)

(C) With the development of Radiological Research we can learn the main components of Concussions, or even advance our current development for the cure to cancer.

Noun
concussion (plural concussions)

* a violent collision or shock
* an injury to part of the body, most especially the brain, caused by a violent blow, followed by loss of function

Now, what the hell does "concussion" do in your text? It makes zero sense. Additionally, how is radiological research doing anything for cancer cure? Radiation therapy is used in cancer treatment in a sort of "kill 'em all" function.

UNDERSTANDING that many nations lack sufficient equipment to fathom the development of Nuclear Research, and the effect it can have on the modern and future medical field.

Nuclear Reseach is not same as radiological research. Please research your terminology.

PERCIEVING the positive effects of advanced Radiotherapy Research, such as cures for diseases localized to different regions.

It's STILL written as "perceiving", and this part makes no sense whatsoever.

REALIZING the potential health hazards associated with radiation research and treatment, and the potential for unhealthy amounts of radiation and other chemicals being stored in the body.

Radiation is not a chemical, nor is it stored in the body. Radiation does its damage on cells pretty much instantly. Also, what the heck are these "other chemicals"?

EXPLORING the numerous possibilities of effect that this research will have on society, and medical practice.

Exactly why would it have an effect on society at all?

GIVING CHOICEallocated to the governments as to whether or not implement Radiotherapy Research within their countries own hospitals and medical practices.

If you make a resolution optional, it makes it ILLEGAL.

(i) Allows the WA to give the reserve the right to give regions and governments

ILLEGAL for mentioning regions. Also, the governments of singular nations already have the power.

(iii) Gives the WA respective power to determine if any such facilities has been deemed uncared for, or not properly maintained by multiple sources, as well as WA leaders being able to shut down and remove Radiological Research Facilities from one government's possession.

The WA does not have leaders. It is a collective of nations governed by mutually agreed-on laws, where each nation is just as (little) important as the next. The only exception is regional delegates, as their approvals are needed for proposals to reach quorum.

ESTABLISHING: the WA-sponsored Radiological Research Society, as well as workers' Radiological Workers Union in places that are deemed fit for allowance of research.

Did you check previous resolutions for laws about unions? Because I have a feeling you didn't.

The Radiological Workers Union will contain delegates within each nation, yet regional WA representatives must approve such appointment.

ILLEGAL for mentioning regions.

Requires facility workers to complete education laws and regulations as set by the Radiological Research Society and the WA GA.

How can workers complete any kind of laws? "Comply" is a completely different word and meaning.

In ORDER to further develop our understanding of illnesses and diseases, the World Assembly MUST pass WA laws and ordinances to allow Radiological Research to take place.

NO IT DOES NOT. You just want it to.

Localized diseases are starting to take a toll on he population, and we must start early in taking effective measures to stop these pathogens from undermining our nations' health.

Unfounded assumption which may be true in your own nation, not in every nation.

Additionally, you haven't demonstrated why do you think this is an international issue?

[Abacathea]

Having read all the comments thus far, plus PPU's comments, I find your reluctance to listen to forum regulars very concerning.

There's no point in me commenting on the draft itself as PPU has pointed out quite extensively the issues with this draft including several points that make it illegal.

Shape this up or abandon it.

[Philimbesi]

The USP will withhold any further analysis of this draft until the illegal Category is addressed. It is pointless to comment on a resolution that has no chance of making it to the floor

Nigel S Youlkin
USP Ambassador.

[Nation of cool guys]

Looks good to me

[Potted Plants United]

Looks good to me

OOC: Aside from the glaring errors and illegality, you mean?