Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

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Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Tue May 26, 2009 7:03 pm

NOTICE: overly large pic files (>400x500px) will be spoilered by a moderator; post either a link to the image or use a condensed version of it if you don't want that to happen.

WA publishes secret dossiers on diplomats

WA HEADQUARTERS (Allied Press) --- To the surprise of virtually no one, the New York Times feverishly reported this week that Kennyite National Security Adviser Cdr. Jenny Chiang has been secretly compiling reports on her WA colleagues for the past three years. Seeking to avoid any potential embarrassments should this sensitive information fall into the wrong hands, the Secretariat decided on Tuesday to release it all, arguing, "If anyone is going to leak this stuff, it might as well be us, your eminently unbiased moderators."

Within minutes, the WA's Necessary Security had swarmed upon Kennyite diplomatic offices to collect Chiang's dossiers, and by the end of the business day, short synopses of all diplomats' personal info appeared on the Secretariat's Web site.

Security personnel were shocked by the sheer volume of the information Chiang had collected over the years (much of it doubtlessly obtained over torture). Urgench's file alone was said to occupy an entire row of storage lockers.

Secretariat members expressed their Official Dismay at Chiang's actions. "Oh, I am absolutely shocked the commander would sink to such lows," Ardchoille's Dicey Reilly said dully into her copy of that morning's edition of the Ardrigh Herald. "I don't think any of us thought she'd stoop to spying on anybody," the Wrongfully President for Life insisted unconvincingly as she sighed and turned the page. "Damn, someone's already done the crossword puzzle."

Questioned outside the Kennyite offices about her behavior Tuesday, Chiang lazily pulled a reporter into her interrogation room, strapped him to a table and commenced pouring water on his face. As the reporter screamed into the wet towel covering his face and the stream of water splashing against it, the commander despondently wondered whether the thrill had gone from torturing unwilling informants. But then she discovered that simultaneously delivering electric shocks to the reporter's hindquarters made the experience a bit more exciting.

The summaries of diplomats' info contained brief personal, family and employment histories of all WA representatives and their staff members, as shown in the following summary on the Kennyite ambassador -- the info for which was largely culled from his file in the Kennyite FBI's Most Wanted Terrorists List (he was #3):

Ambassador - Susa Batko-Yovino


Age: 34
Birthplace: Calabasas, Santa Califia
Family: A proud Xt'Tapolopaquetl native, Susa lost his parents at the tender age of 16, when they were recruited for the Xt'Tap liberation movement in San Andreas. That is to say, they were kidnapped, strapped to TNT belts and sent into a Kennyite military checkpoint, where they heroically martyred themselves when their commanders detonated them by remote control. Then his sister Susannah, four years his senior, left him to shack up with some loser in Paradise City who introduced her to the glitz and glamor of Kennyite politics; Susannah is now a former speaker of the Federal Assembly currently serving as ambassador to The Palentine. Susa acquired a bunch of resentful Karmicarian in-laws when he married their Queen Adrienne in 2006, becoming possibly the first member of the royal family to be subsequently banned from the country as a "severe security risk."
Education: MBA, University of Santa Califia at Calabasas
Employment: Susa, who formerly competed as an amateur boxer paid his way through business school, was appointed to President Fernanda's cabinet in 2005 at the behest of his sister (who has very powerful corporate sponsors). The first-ever Kennyite to assume a royal title from a foreign country, "King" Susa was later declared president of Karmicaria when beloved wife Adrienne abdicated in 2007. He disappeared shortly thereafter, but turned up later in an SVS prison, having been captured on a Chechen battlefield by troops who apparently did not recognize him, and had this crazy idea that he was an Islamic militant! Luckily, he escaped treason charges, and was named ambassador to the United Nations, and needless to say he's made quite the impression on his fellow diplomats ever since.
Background: The Kennyite ambassador has always longed to follow in his parents' footsteps and join the pantheon of martyrs who have shed innocent Kennyite blood in the name of Jesus Christ -- only he really sucks at it, and has been foiled in multiple occasions. Otherwise, Susa is just a two-bit sleaze with a thing for hookers, kleptomania and excessive gambling, and seducing rich women so he can rob them blind and continue on with his costly habits. That's partly how he ended up with Queen Adrienne, and now that she's gone and willed him a veritable buttload of Karmicarian stocks, notably Karmicarian Callboys/Callgirls Unlimited™, he's been irritating KCU execs to no end with his constant stock sales to pay off the Mob bosses who control most gaming rackets in OMGTKK. He's sort of been "inherited" by Adrienne's sister Izzy, now the president of her country, but he keeps flaking on their "conjugal visits" together to gamble and man-whore. He is a frequent customer of Karmicarian Ambassador Tana Petrov's, and no one knows why she keeps allowing him to see her: we're pretty sure she's aware of all the petty thefts he's committed in her office and bedroom every time they Rock the Casbah.
Fun facts: Susa and his former deputy, Capt. Jenny Chiang, are the defendants in a massive class-action lawsuit filed by Kennyite Orthodox Puritans For Ending Excessive Libertinism, seeking restitution for all the "torture sessions" the two have freakishly indulged in on the taxpayers' dime.
Politics: All the infidels must die.
Titles: Current: Ambassador to the World Assembly; Former (from most recent): Ambassador to the United Nations (2007-08), President of Karmicaria (2007), King of Karmicaria (2006-07), Secretary of the Treasury (2005-07)
Responsibilities: Very few. He's pretty much an exile and persona non-grata, and only shows up for comic relief. So unless you want to end up in the Vastiva Memorial Reflecting Pool outside, or be kidnapped for one of his sick YouTube videos, don't insult him, or the Xt'Tapolopaquetl.
Interests: Blackjack, slot machines, stretch Hummers, champagne, wailing on his sister's deadbeat boyfriends, manicures and other disturbingly metrosexual habits, kicking fellow diplomats in the nuts.
Once said: "Accusing me and my fellow countrymen of being 'totally mindless and unserious'? How dare you, sir!"

Staff: Susa is assisted by an able new team of Kennyite and international diplomats, about whom more can be learned by reading this post.

[OOC instructions/fine print: OK, so the purpose of this thread should be quite clear -- copy/paste the survey above and replace my answers with your own. A few requests: please do not post prohibitively large images for your ambassador and/or staff members (if the pics are too big, you can image-search for a smaller version, or just post the link). Links to Factbook Dispatches and outside wikis are welcome, but will no longer be added to the directory -- way too many broken links there!]
Last edited by Omigodtheykilledkenny on Mon Aug 04, 2014 4:35 pm, edited 8 times in total.
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Meet the Reps!™ Part V: Directory of Ambassadors

Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Tue May 26, 2009 7:08 pm

Directory of Ambassadors to the World Assembly

Last edited by Omigodtheykilledkenny on Fri Jan 01, 2016 12:45 pm, edited 31 times in total.
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Glen-Rhodes » Wed May 27, 2009 12:45 pm

Dr. Bradford William Castro

Age: 56

Birthplace: Grand Port, Glen-Rhodes

Education: A rather prestigious education. He attended PS 107 during his primary education, and Grand Port Preparatory Academy during his secondary education. He earned his undergraduate degree from Glen-Rhodes National University, and his graduate from Governor University. For his doctorate, he attended Gaines College.

Employment: Former secondary teacher, former university professor, former President of Governor University, former Senator of Glen-Rhodes, former Secretary of Education of Glen-Rhodes, former Ambassador from Glen-Rhodes.

Politics: liberal, democratic socialist; member of the Glen-Rhodes Liberal Party; very partisan, and oftentimes hot-headed.

Titles: Ambassador-at-Large, Permanent Chief of Mission for World Assembly affairs.

Responsibilities: Varying. He heads the entire foreign affairs area for Glen-Rhodes, from the World Assembly to the far-outer-reaches of the international stage.

Interests: law, education, social welfare policy, science, debating over nuances, etc.

Once said: "If there is one thing I have gained from arguing with you, it is a more refined definition of dunce." -- While debating the legality of "Access to Science in Schools".
Last edited by Glen-Rhodes on Mon Jun 07, 2010 4:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Quintessence of Dust
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Quintessence of Dust » Wed May 27, 2009 7:38 pm

Not sure this really works, but given I've replied to every iteration of these threads I was getting a bit bored of the same style of response.

Welcome to Rick's: one of the WAHQ's best kept secrets, this lively bar is housed at the back of the Quintessential Office of WA Affairs, and offers a great selection of cocktails for those seeking out a quieter scene than the Strangers' Bar. A strict entry policy and dress code are enforced, and the management reserves the right to refuse service. Unfortunately, not smoking is prohibited, and customers wishing not to smoke will have to drink elsewhere. Sam knows all the songs and has the uncanny knack of playing tunes totally out of synch with the movements of her fingers - however, telling her to "play it again" will result in being socked in the face. On Tuesdays sassy broads drink for free; Fridays is Annoy The Germans By Singing La Marseillaise Night; Sunday afternoons we round up the usual suspects. Then karaoke.

Drinks Menu

Joyce Merrywether ("The Ambassador"): Tall, cool, mature, and with a kick if you try to justify arguments based on the inviolability of national sovereignty. Four parts experience in government (as National Security Advisor, head of the Central Signals Service, and various Embassy postings) to one part Liberal partisanship, the discerning drinker may note a hint of bitters, especially if her ex-husband, Secretary of State George Madison, is mentioned. As a staunch defender of free trade, any variety of whisky may be used in the mix, so long as it is well aged. How aged? Enough to teach you a trick or two, sonny.

Dr. Luc Monsettier ("The Deputy"): Smooth, sweet, and well-rounded, Luc goes well with any setting: enjoying a late drink with a ladyfriend, toasting success with colleagues, or formerly serving as Head of the Quintessential Red Non-Denominational-Symbol Organization with a particular concern for children's health issues. Considered one of the milder drinks we serve, patrons should still go steady, as they can quickly pile up into a ringing endorsement of the link between environmental protection and infectious disease control.

Samantha Benson ("The Aide"): A classic of Rick's, and the longest standing item on our menu - despite being a relatively new invention of the Green Think Tank (which was closed down after losing its licence). Sam is a perennial favourite of regulars, but can come across as variously too sharp, too bitter, too strong, or too insistent on global arms control, for some newcomers. Recommended only for those able to hold their democratic socialism coupled with a humanistic environmentalism. Always served on the rocks, much like her chances of being taken seriously in the Liberal-dominated foreign policy system.

Júlía Maria Jónsdóttir ("The Economist") - NEW!: We are proud to present the latest addition to our cocktail list. A true drinker's drink, this mature blend is perhaps the most acclaimed economist in the country, but may be relatively new for foreign connosseurs connosoirs connisirs people. Despite its ferocious intellect, grammatical pedantry, fondness for citing obscure thinkers, and citric aftertaste, Júlía Maria (please observe the correct ordering procedures for patronymic cocktails) goes well with most things. Served in unbreakable neoliberal glass, with a cherry on top.

George W. Madison ("The Secretary"): A drink that'll put hairs on your chest. As well as palms, soles of feet, earlobes, and other body parts subject to further testing. The most Liberal drink in Rick's, taken off the menu for a while after the move to the classy State Department joint back in Highmark City but occasionally back by popular demand, Madison is a drink best described as "uncompromising". Those with a good sense may detect notes of bitter regret soaked in rueful hopes of one last chance for redemption; others may simply find the whole thing altogether too sour.

Not ready for a cocktail? We also have a selection of Interns on tap, such as Tiffany, Phil, Billy, and Wendy.
Last edited by Quintessence of Dust on Wed May 27, 2009 7:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark no

Postby Cookesland » Thu May 28, 2009 12:16 pm

Ambassador - Richard York

NS Wikipage:
Age: 31
Birthplace: Born March 27, 1978 in Delray Beach, Pauanui, Cookesland
Family: Benvolio (Father) Nathalie (Mother) the second child of Benvolio and Nathalie York, in Delray Beach. He has two siblings, an brother, Ignotus, older than him by two and a half years and a sister, Maria, his junior by two years. He is very close with his family,
Education: Edifice University, Bexley School of Law
Employment: Cookeslandic Department of State
Background: Coming from one of the country's prominent political families, he Coming from one of the country's prominent political families, he was exposed to politics at a very early age, his father serving as the mayor of Delray Beach twice and then elected to the House of Representatives. He speaks his native English as well as several other languages such as German and Nord-Brutlandese. He graduated from Edifice University.
Not too long after, he had an accident while on a ship, causing him to become an amnesiac. After many odd events he washed up on the shores of Cookesland, where he was nursed back to health. With fortune's blessings he managed to come get his citizenship and came in contact with Cookeslandic Secretary of State, Steven Andolor, at the ceremony. The two became very good friends quickly. Due to his personality, demeanor, and the difficulty of finding ambassadors, he was quickly offered a job in the Nord-Brutlandese Embassy.
For a short while afterward he moved up to Ambassador when the position soon became open. With untimely death of Vier Soluna, he became the Permanent Representative to the United Nations. While at the UN he regained his memory and got back in contact with his family. He currently devotes his time between the World Assembly and his home in Coricas. He currently is dating Ms. Carolina Entelbrucco of the Nord-Brutlandese WA Delegation.
Politics: Moderate
Titles: Representative of the United States of Cookesland to the World Assembly, with the rank and status of Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary
Responsibilities: Head of the Cookeslandic WA Mission, Stranger’s Bar Regular
Interests: Baseball
Once said: “That’s the worst idea ever.”

Deputy Ambassador - Fiore Acquerello

NSwiki page:
Age: 32
Birthplace & Birthdate: May 22nd, 1977, Diadem, Windonesia
Family: Single, older sister, Stefania, parents divorced
Education: M.A. in Italian from the University of Diadem
Employment: U.S. Department of State
Background: Fiore was born to immigrants and raised bilingual from an early age. She had a fairly normal happy childhood, and was devastated by her parents divorce at age 17. She went to and earned her degree at her alma mater, the University of Diadem, and taught Italian and Italian Literature for several years, before becoming involved with the State Department. Fiore had a falling out with her sister, Stefania, and had not spoken to her in five years. The reconciled in early 2010 and are now on good terms. She is frequently captured and worshipped by WA Gnomes.
Politics: Fairly Apathetic
Titles: Deputy Representative of the United States of Cookesland to the World Assembly, with the rank and status of Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary
Responsibilities: Looking after Richard; Gnome Goddess
Interests: Rockclimbing
Once said: “His fault was he tried to please all people, instead of the best people.”
Last edited by Cookesland on Sun Jul 18, 2010 9:02 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Civil Rights Lovefest

Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Philimbesi » Thu May 28, 2009 12:32 pm

Name: Nigel S Youlkin
Age: 45
Birthplace: New Hyperion, Virginna
Family: Wife Hedi Youlkin, Son Njigel Jr.
Education: MBA Political Science University of Hyperion
Politics: Doesn't trust politicians
Titles: Ambassador, Ambassador At Large.
Interests: Lagavulin Scotch, Chess, Getting a better office for himself.


Max is the USoP Translator and is fluent in over 50 different languages, however he simply refuses to learn n00bspeak or lulwut.


Can generally be found when not Assisting Nigel on the WA Floor stalking through the hallways looking for offices left behind by whinny nations who resign from the WA because the last vote didn't go their way.
Last edited by Philimbesi on Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Thu May 28, 2009 12:55 pm

Quintessence of Dust wrote:Not sure this really works, but given I've replied to every iteration of these threads I was getting a bit bored of the same style of response.

No, your post is great. The template, as you know (and you should - I stole it from you), is just a suggested format.

As to everyone else, you've all been added to the list. Scroll up to the second post for a general feel of what it's going to look like. And like I said in the OP, I'm not going to sift thru all the old Jolt threads to add them here. If you want to use an old Jolt post for yours, find the link and TG me. I'll be happy to include it.
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Charlotte Ryberg
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Charlotte Ryberg » Thu May 28, 2009 12:56 pm

The current ambassador to Charlie's is Sarah Harper.


Age: 29
Birthplace: New York, NY, USA
Family: Married to John Harper, now a safety inspector in one of the World Assembly's own power plants.
Education: Graduate with Honours in Law and Social Sciences, at Harvard and Eton respectively.
Employment: As chief delegate this is her second six-figure salary job. Before then she had been leading Charlotte Ryberg's economic growth, which explains why the tala is so expensive to buy with the NationStates dollar before the Mind hired her to the present job.
Titles: Delegate to the World Assembly.
Responsibilities: Already accomplished emigration rights (NOT immigration or migration in general) and will expect the shake up the humanitarian aid resolution soon.
Interests: On-demand movies
Pedigree: WAR #14, WAR #46.
Once said: "I keep telling you there is no perfect resolution to solve the world's problems in a click of a finger. Only if there was that ability I'd use it now but then there would be no need for a World Assembly if that was possible."
Last edited by Charlotte Ryberg on Thu May 28, 2009 1:09 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Urgench » Thu May 28, 2009 1:17 pm

The permanent mission of the Confederated Sublime Khanate of Urgench to the World Assembly

Ambassador- Mongkha Nerghila Ilghacktan, Khan of Kashgar

NSwiki page- ... of_Kashgar

Age- 260

Place of birth- Herat, capital of the province of Bactria

Family- Father~ Jochi Ossai Khan of kashgar, Yarkand, Khotan, Balkh, Bamian, Kabul, Ghazni, and Kandahar.
Mother~ Princess Ilghacktani Sorgasham of Khwarizmia (daughter of His Divine Majesty the Emperor's father, Emperor Qabul-khaghan the 10th by the Imperial concubine, Errahetmen princess of the Tartars)

Education- The Academy of Herat, the University of the Empire at Khodzhent, the honoured Khan left the University of the Empire at Khodzhent with an LLB. he subsequently attained an LL.M. in international law at the university of Tabriz and is currently a member of the Urgenchi Bar.

Employment- The honoured Khan spent 62 years lecturing in Yasaq (The Law) at the University of the Empire at khodzhent and a further 53 years as international legal adviser to the Imperial Household. Where he was instrumental in the negotiation of numerous treaties including, the treaty of Kungchang, the treaty of Hangchow, and the treaty of Songdo among others.

Background- The honoured Khan is the last in an illustrious line (he has no offspring of his own to continue it) of great khans who have ruled the wealthy city states of the Tarim basin and Bactria on behalf of the Emperor. Mongkha's father was killed in the palace coup that ended the life of Emperor Qabul-Khagan, which ushered in the so called "New Era" in which the traditional power of the lesser khans of the CSKU has been ended.
He is part of a new generation of professional khans who seek preferment in the civil service of the Imperial government instead of its army.

Politics- The honoured Khan has studiously avoided being involved with any of Urgench's political parties, but his written works and personal beliefs mark him out as an old fashioned radical. This means he believes in the supremacy of personal freedom and the progressive nature of society. He is an enthusiastic believer in the democratic and reformist policies of his Divine Majesty the Emperor. He is a passionate believer that the state must see to the material and intellectual needs of its people. Mongkha is a partisan of the current Grand Chancellor of the CSKU, his Excellency Tamerlane, khan of Samarkand and Bhukhara, who's election to office Mongkha warmly welcomed. Mongkha is a close personal friend of his cousin, his Divine Majesty, the Emperor of Urgench.

Titles- Khan of Kashgar, Yarkand and Khotan, Cupbearer of the Emperor (honorary) and Ilkhan of Kucha

Responsibilities- Directing the permanent mission of the Confederated Sublime Khanate of Urgench to the World Assembly in accordance with the will of the democratically elected government of the Confederated Sublime Khanate of Urgench.

Interests- The honoured Khan is an authority on the laws, history and traditions of the Mongol empire, he is also an accomplished horseman and bowman and is a proficient harpist and painter of miniatures.

Once said- "The magnanimity of princes and kings is as nought to the kindness of the of the lowliest of paupers"

Other staff- First secretary- Vladimir Nezdyesky of Chernigov
Legal advisor- Nambui, Gongju of Zad
Deputy legal advisor- Kutlugh Boga, Taishi of Dorgot.
Cultural attache- Rustem Bey, Atabeg of Manzikert
Military attache- Dashdurg Iagnazan, Tumetu-iin-Noyan
Personal assitant to the ambassador- Tarmashirin of Herat
Intelligence analyst- Madame Saad
Last edited by Urgench on Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:33 pm, edited 3 times in total.
- Mongkha, Khan of Kashgar, Ambassador in Plenipotentiary to the World Assembly for the Confederated Sublime Khanate of Urgench -

Exchange Embassies with the CSKU here - viewtopic.php?f=5&t=67

Learn more about Urgench here-

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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby The Altan Steppes » Thu May 28, 2009 1:37 pm

The Altani Federation WA Mission

Nikolai Nagashybyuly, Ambassador Plenipotentiary and Representative of the Altani Federation to the World Assembly

Nikolai is the youngest child of the powerful and wealthy Nagashybyuly clan, which controls the NDRGroup, the Federation's largest media corporation. He was born and raised in Nalioka, a city which has always had a reputation of being disorderly and rambunctious. In his youth, Nikolai lived up to that heritage, developing a reputation as a hard-partying child of privilege and having several run-ins with Altani law enforcement. After a particularly notorious incident that sparked a near-riot in downtown Nalioka, however, government officials privately warned the Nagashybyuly family that even their wealth and power would not save Nikolai if he caused any more trouble. The family privately talked to Nikolai in turn, making it clear that he would not be allowed to dishonor the family name any further. Soon after that, he was named as the Federation's new ambassador to the regional legislative body, the Lavinium Senate.

Upon his initial appointment as the Federation's representative to the Senate, his critics claimed that his family used their power to get Nikolai, who had never held a government job before, the position. Once appointed, however, Nikolai confounded the critics by proving to be a capable, if flamboyant, defender of the Federation's interests in the Senate. His signature achievement there was authoring legislation banning private military bases in the region, which his predecessors had tried and failed to do several times.

Nikolai was originally appointed to his position by then-Secretary of State Kerim Sofian, under the Alana Kasimira administration. When Kasimira was defeated in her re-election bid by Jaris Krytellin, himself a former UN/WA ambassador for the Federation, the new President decided to transfer Nikolai to the WA. In the words of current Secretary of State Eranik Zurabian, Nikolai was deemed to have "the blunt and brash nature that is needed to survive the WA and deal with the clods some nations choose to send there". His predecessor, Irina Misheli, was then sent to the Lavinium Senate. Political experts speculated that the move signaled Altani displeasure with the WA, or a changing focus from international to regional politics. Only time will show if either belief is true. The appointment of Nikolai is expected to re-energize the Altani presence in the WA, however, if only because of the ambassador's strong personality. Nikolai continues to show a marked lack of deference or respect for authority, which should make relations with his bosses Krytellin and Zurabian very interesting.


Age: 26
Birthplace: Nalioka municipality, Nalioka county, Altanar, Altani Federation.
Family: youngest of seven children by Taras and Leila Nagashybyuly; unmarried, no children, rumored to have multiple partners (both male and female).
Education: Nalioka 1st Ward Primary and Secondary Schools; Royal University of Altanar at Nalioka (degree in communications and new/emerging media).
Politics: liberal on social issues, conservative on economic ones; claims no specific political party but has been associated with both the Centrists (moderate party) and the Margalites (leftist party).
Responsibilities: representing the Federation at the WA; debating resolutions on the floor; casting the Federation's WA vote.
Interests: art, music, swords and antique weapons, technology, alcohol


Arjel Khazaran, Assistant Federation Representative to the World Assembly, Military Liaison, Chief of Security

In marked contrast to his freewheeling boss, Arjel Khazaran is a paragon of orderly behavior. Arjel is the fifth of eight children of prominent Argali clan leader Avras Khazaran, and had the tenets of honor and discipline drilled into him from an early age. The Argali are the most traditional and conservative people in the Federation, and Arjel's attitude towards life and his politics reflect that.

Like the rest of his clan, Arjel grew up on the sprawling steppe of Argalia, situated on the remote and rugged northern stretches of the Altani homeland. He learned how to ride and fight from the moment he was able to sit atop a horse, which would guide his future career path. As he was too far down on the line of succession to ever become the leader of his clan, Arjel instead entered the armed forces of the Federation's predecessor state of Altanar. He served as an officer in the Royal Altanari Army and the Aranathan Guards, the bodyguards of Altanar's monarchy. When Altanar transitioned from monarchy to democracy with the creating of the Federation, Arjel left the Aranathan Guards to join the newly formed Federation Security and Intelligence Service, which is where he has been ever since.

Arjel was first assigned to the Altani WA mission under the tenure of Jaris Krytellin, and has served as both an assistant ambassador and as security chief for Krytellin, Misheli, and now Nagashybyuly. While he does speak on the floor when needed, he mostly spends his time alternating between keeping Nagashybyuly from harm and harming Nagashybyuly himself when his boss irritates him, usually by defenestrating the unruly Nagashybyuly when he's being particularly obnoxious.


Age: 33
Birthplace: Khazaran clan territory, Argalia, Altani Federation.
Family: fifth son of Khazaran clan leader Avras Khazaran; married to Kaila Akan; one child, Karim.
Education: Khazaran Primary School #1; Khazaran Secondary School #1; Altanari Military Academy (now Federation Military Academy); Federation Security and Intelligence (FSI) agent training.
Politics: staunch conservative; member of the rightist New Altan Party (ruling party).
Responsibilities: ensuring the security of Federation representatives, staff and facilities; representing Argali interests at the WA; assisting Nagashybyuly with legislation and voting when necessary.
Interests: martial arts, firearms, fencing, archery, equestrian sports, history (particularly military history).


Kholmatzhon, First Rank Solar Pantheonic Cleric and Chaplain-Advisor to the Altani WA Mission

A recent (and controversial) addition to the Altani WA staff, Kholmatzhon is a recently ordained priest of the Solar Pantheonic Church, the indigenous Altani religion. He holds First Rank (the lowest rank, just above an unordained acolyte).

Kholmatzhon was raised by the Church in the small town of Ayia-Napa after his parents died in an accident, leaving him in an orphanage. As it often does, the Church took Kholmatzhon from the orphanage as an infant to raise him after he went unadopted. The Church raises an orphan typically until age 17, when the youth is given the option of leaving the Church or becoming an acolyte. If they choose not to pursue a clerical life, they are given enough resources to strike out on their own; if they do choose to become a cleric, they are given the rank of acolyte and begin their studies. Kholmatzhon chose to enter the Church, and rapidly completed his initial clerical studies with a speed that impressed his mentors. He soon achieved his First Rank, and was assigned to the Altani WA Mission as part of the government's plan to include chaplains in its overseas missions. Kholmatzhon has known no life outside the Solar Pantheonic Church, and while he is polite and affable, he is also tenacious when it comes to matters of faith or religion. He is also a touch naive, and Khazaran has taken him under his wing as a mentor. Kholmatzhon speaks on matters of concern to religion on the GA floor, and also when issues arise that could threaten the theocratic constituent state of Altana Hol. He spends much of his time when not working trying to reform the notoriously ungodly Nagashybyuly.


Age: 20.
Birthplace: Ayia-Napa village, Draskatar county, Altanar, Altani Federation.
Family: unknown, parents died when a child. Raised in Ayia-Napa orphanage and in the Ayia-Napa monastery.
Education: Solar Pantheonic religious schools in Ayia-Napa village and Draskatar municipality.
Politics: conservative; member of the Party of Believers (SPC political arm).
Responsibilities: ministering to the religious needs of the Altani at the WA and anyone else interested; speaking on issues of interest to the Church and to theocracies in general.
Interests: reading, theology, meditation, gardening, shrine maintenance


Other staff

In addition to Nagashybyuly, Khazaran and Kholmatzhon, the Altani WA Mission employs 150 additional personnel, including several interns and staff members who run the mission and occasionally speak on the GA floor when Nagashybyuly is too drunk and Khazaran can't be bothered. There is also a sizeable contingent of both FSI agents and elite Federation Guards troops who protect the mission and report to Khazaran.
Last edited by The Altan Steppes on Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:09 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: the Kennyite mission

Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Thu May 28, 2009 7:31 pm

We regret to inform the Assembly that our deputy ambassador to the WA, Jimmy Baca, has resigned in order to devote more energy to his alternate positions as the nation's ambassador at large and trade representative. We are thrilled, however, to announce that Susa Batko-Yovino will stay on as senior ambassador. Er, somehow we doubt that many of you will be as thrilled at the news as we are, but who cares? We have also hired on a new staff to assist Ambassador Batko-Yovino in running the WA mission. The old characters you all have come to know and love will still make appearances from time to time: Sammy (as the mission's supervisor), Cdr. Chiang (to deal with security issues), and Jimmy (because, well, someone has to babysit Susa when he's left alone) -- but frankly, we've already profiled them for this project more times than we care to mention. Day-to-day operations of the Kennyite WA offices will fall to the following new staff members most of the time. We pray you will welcome them as warmly and as eagerly as you have their predecessors. Have a nice day! ~Sammy Faisano, secretary of state

Deputy Ambassador - Ann Coulter


Age: 47
Birthplace: New York City
Family: None in Omigodtheykilledkenny; however, liberal Kennyite columnist Steve Rich has accused her New York relatives of having "successfully completed a plan to breed Adam's apples into the women of the Coulter clan." (Coulter responded by implying that Rich is a homosexual.)
Education: J.D., University of Michigan Law School; B.A., Cornell University
Employment: Since her arrival in Omigodtheykilledkenny (see Background), Coulter has made quite the living on the lecture circuit; she has also published several books exclusive to the NS world, including Final Solution: Why a Million Liberals at the Bottom of the Ocean Can Best Be Described as "a Good Start", and They're Liberals! They're Terrorists! Stop, You're Both Right!
Background: Funny story, actually. Back in 2005, Yeldan scientists seeking to reanimate the corpse of Joe McCarthy came across a woman visiting the late senator's grave one night as their spaceship hovered over the quiet Wisconsin cemetery where he was buried. Convinced that the blonde, pale, Skeletor-esque figure placing flowers on McCarthy's grave must be herself a reanimated corpse, they beamed her aboard in order to discover how Earthlings acquired the technology to reanimate dead bodies. Coulter refused to dignify the Yeldans' outlandish accusations with response, and over the next few days proved such an annoyance to the crew that the captain eventually ordered that she be vaporized. After a series of negotiations with the combative conservative, the captain finally gave in and told her, "Fine, we won't kill you. But we will do the next-best thing! We're sending you to Omigodtheykilledkenny!" Coulter's been making money off gullible Kennyites ever since.
Politics: Coulter has been generally supportive of the Fernanda Administration, and especially his War on Terror, since she came to the Federal Republic. She is one of the few right-wingers not to condemn the president for his embarrassing sexcapades -- some suggest because she secretly would like to do him herself. But given Empress Jhessan's habit of immobilizing rivals for Fernanda's affections, she's never publicly admitted to such an attraction.
Titles: Deputy Ambassador to the World Assembly; right-wing talk-show hosts have also affectionately dubbed her "Darth Vaderess" and "the Princess of Darkness"; and an Xt'Tap chieftan, pronouncing a curse upon her for controversial comments about his people, named her "Malasqatka, Queen of the Damned."
Responsibilities: Delivering lengthy, over-the-top screeds against liberalism during floor debates, accusing anyone who opposes the Kennyites' position on legislation to be part of some dastardly liberal conspiracy.
Interests: She really has a lot of guns. And we mean a lot of them. After showing us her collection, we were far too terrified to ask what her other interests might be.
Once said: "And in the Kennyites we have a brave, fearless leader in this fight against terror: after all, they are the ones who showed the Tiki Takis no mercy, the ones who eviscerated the Kawaiian thugs, and the ones who fought to revoke UN protections for the most sub-human scoundrels who pollute the Earth and disgust all God-fearing people with their callous indecency, their unnatural lusts and their homoerotic exhibitionism! You know who I'm talking about: the dolphins!!"

Intern - Malachi Sadomeyer


Malachi is Ann's lackey, basically. He's on hand to do even the most demeaning chores for the deputy ambassador -- including waxing her chin and picking up her testosterone supplements at the pharmacy -- but he doesn't mind it one bit. Malachi worships Ann, and seems to think she's the hottest thing since Jalapeño burgers. He's also known for a happy-go-lucky demeanor, and a few, slightly depraved sexual habits.

Public relations consultant - Carrie Montenegro


It occurred to the Kennyites that with someone like Ann Coulter speaking for them, they might need someone else on hand to "dial it back" from time to time. And the WA mission has found the perfect spokeswoman -- a former Miss Santa Califia who was the runner-up in the 2008 Miss Omigodtheykilledkenny pageant, having lost the crown over her responses during the interview portion of the pageant, in which she criticized Max Barry Day as an illegal resolution and praised Susa for sponsoring its repeal, despite the fact that the Xt'Tap was "a member of that sub-human race of degenerate filth descended from Satan. No offense to anybody out there -- that's just how I feel!" Montenegro's opposition to Max Barry Day set off a media firestorm, and cost her the title, since her main rival was, in fact, Max Barry, who took the crown for the fourth year in a row. Cleaning up after Ms. Coulter's many verbal assaults will not be an easy task, but one look at the foxalicious Montenegro, and (the Kennyites are betting) the critics will forget that Omigodtheykilledkenny even has an ambassador named Ann Coulter.

Political adviser - Dora Lee


On loan from the Schuttean government, Mrs. Lee -- the former Lavinium senator, and aficionado of all things evil -- is to be Coulter's right-hand woman. Having worked at the WA as Shemp #3's secretary, Mrs. Lee knows where all the bodies are buried (literally). It will be her task to line up the votes among the allies on important legislation, and advise the deputy on which delegations she will have to win over if she wants to prevail on the WA floor. Mrs. Lee, a devoted wife and mother (even if her husband is a worthless deadbeat), quickly rose in the ranks of the SchutteGod regime thanks to a close friendship with national leader Mrs. Schutte. Some suggest that in actuality Mrs. Lee is Mrs. Schutte -- since both have similar personalities and speaking styles, and no one has ever seen Mrs. Schutte in public -- but Mrs. Lee always brushes off such rumors with a wink and a sardonic smile.

Legal adviser - Julian Estrada


It's been a long time coming, but after four years of physical assaults, slanderous outbursts and terrorist attacks against rival delegations, the Kennyite government has finally decided that it might be a good idea to hire a lawyer to smooth out the impending legal difficulties stemming from its diplomats' actions. But with so many fine legal minds in the nation too busy suing President Fernanda to take on other clients, the mission was forced to snap up a pimply-faced kid right out of law school. But don't let his adolescent appearance fool you; Julian is a brilliant legal scholar, and his expertise in international law, and especially criminal defense, are sure to benefit the WA mission many times over.
Last edited by Omigodtheykilledkenny on Sun Jun 07, 2015 3:10 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Allech-Atreus » Thu May 28, 2009 7:49 pm


Age: 169

Birthplace: Tahsoj-Breca, Gandar System, Kazamal Sector

Family: Unmarried.

Education: Inquisitor 12th Grade at Tahsoj-Breca

Employment: As liaison with the Grand Symposium of the Canon Law, she serves as Symposium Subjugant, representing the foreing policy interests of the All-Order, and is an aide to the Supreme Council of the All-Order.

Background: Joining Aatem Nal at the age of 16, she defied the traditional expectations of women in Gandar and advanced to the Planetary University as a 12th-Grade Inquisitor, teaching Central Learning for 20 years before retiring and accepting an appointment as a Subjugant to the Symposium, the All-Order's body of legal interpretation and foreign policy application. She found patronage with Master U'umä, current head of the Supreme Council, who enjoyed her sarcastic wit and ability to outperform her peers, and was appointed to serve as the representative of the All-Order in the Assembly as well as the Council leader's eyes and ears on the international scene.

Politics: Represents the wishes of the Symposium and Council, generally internationalist and liberal.

Titles: Inquisitor 12th Grade, Instructor Emeritus, Syposium Subjugant

Responsibilities: Ambassadoral functions, plenipotentiary powers.

Interests: Reading, writing, arithmetic.

Once said: "That reminds me of the time I don't like you."
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Fri May 29, 2009 7:27 am

You forgot her name; luckily I remembered it. ;)
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The Palentine
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark no

Postby The Palentine » Fri May 29, 2009 9:18 am
Name:Senator Horatio Sulla
Age: 45
Birthplace:The 'Burgh
Family: Divorced
Education: Palentine Naval Academy
Employment: Former Palentine Marine, Action Movie Star, and politician

Background: Horatio attended the Palentine Naval Academy, and excelled, except for a marked dislike of the ocean. Thus during his Third year he opted for the Palentine Marines, figuring that he would have less of a chance being lost at sea, and a better chance to score some tail from the grateful natives of the nations he would stop for R&R(everybody loves Marines, especially with their awesome uniform and sword). He graduated with honors, and was commissioned a 2nd Lieutenant, after surviving the gold plated SOB...err...the Marine Officer Training Course. He served with distinction, and made it to the rank of captain, before his fall from grace. It all happened while serving on the PNS Komoniwannalaya, Apparently there were quite a few regulations that he broke, when he was caught in the Admiral's Pinnace with the Admiral's Wife, twin 18 year old Daughters, several local women of questionable and negotiable morals, and a case of the Admiral's own 15 year old single malt Scotch...the Admiral really loved that Scotch. Horatio was promptly Court Marshalled and cashiered from the service. Needing a job, Lady Luck smiled upon Horatio. A movie producer watched the media coverage and liked what she saw in the young marine(and quite possibly a few things she could not see, but those are scurrilous rumors). She was producing an Action Movie, and needed a leading man. After a meeting (and a weekend in "private consultations") Horatio received the part. The movie, Die,Commie Scum,Die! was a critical failure, but a box office smash(there is just no accounting for the poor taste of Palentine Citizens). This lead to other movies coming Horatio's way, including the trilogy of films where he played Colonel Carnage, commie exterminator extraordinaire. He became rich, but his body was crying out enough(he did his own stunts). Thus he decided to seek a cushier career....he went into politics.

Politics: Right Wing Conservative Gun-Nut
Responsibilities within the UN Office:Pretty much here to piss off fluffies, flex his Barbaric Militant Machismo, and ogle the Thessadorian Ambassador.
Interests:Wild Turkey Rare Breed Whiskey, Women of Questionable and Negotiable Virtue, Catgirls, Guns, and Cigars...pretty much in that order.
Once said: "And people Call me a deviant?"

Name:Zara Blackthorne
Birthplace:Ohiopyle, The Palentine
Family: single
Education: BA in Metaphisical Studies for Palentine Polygnostic University
Emplyment:Stage Magician

Background:Zara is the daughter of the Great Blackthorne, who was one of the most popular Stage Magicians in Palentine history. Like her father she is also a member of the race of Homo Magi, a branch of humanity who can actually use magic. Zara's prefered method of casting spells is by using the backward incantation style(although she is proficient in other, this remains her favorite). Zara is also following in her father's footprints as a performer and wildly popular stage magician in her own right. Her shows are a fusion of classical music, rock and roll, and illusions and magic. She is also the best friend of The Palentine's Empress, whichexplains how she not only became the ambassador to Ohmigodtheykilledkenny, but stuck here in the Snakepit as Senator Sulla's deputy.

Politics: Crown Loyalist
Titles:Mistress of Magic, Amabassador to Ohmigodtheykilledkenny, Palentine Deputy Ambassador to the WA
Responcibilites:Fill in for the good but unwholesome Senator when he's indisposed due to hangover, canoodling with catgirls, or playing ride the kinky pony with the Thessadorian Ambassador.
Interests:Classical music, magic(stage and otherwise), and books.
Once said:"Emfoffosdnahruoyteg!" to President Fernanda when he tried to "get better aquainted "with her. After uttering those words said President suddenly was teleported to another room with a confused look on his face.

Name:Velma Wong
Age: Ask me that question again and you'll be six inches shorter, buster!
Birthplace: Zeleonople, Palentine
Family: Single
Education: Gradute of the Acme Secretary Mail Corespondance Course.
Employment: Former featured entertainer at Minsky's Burlesque House in the 'Burgh, now secretary
Background: Velma was a former featured entertainer and very popular star of Minsky's Burlesque House, in the 'Burgh. However she was bored by the job, the pay was lousy, and she got tired of having to constantly smack around admirers who tried to get too hands on(if you know what I mean...wink wink!). She took a mail corespondance course, and became a secretary. She was hired by the good but unwholesome Senator Sulla because he liked her attitude, and her two other...ummm...."assets" she brought to the job.
Politics: fairly apathetic about politics
Titles: Burlesque Entertainer of the Year 2001. Best Tassel Dancer in The 'Burgh
Responsibilities: Assist the Senator, See that the office runs smoothly, and occasionally fill in when the Senator is too hung over.
Interests: Teasing men, drinking in the Stranger's Bar, and dancing
Once said: "You won't find it down there, Columbus!" (to a man staring at her chest)

Name:Various dolphinic names.
Age: old enough to swear
Birthplace: The ocean off the Palentine, and various Palentine Naval Facilities.
Family:Various pods.
Education: Basic Palentine Naval training followed by "schooling" from various CPO's, Warrent Officers, and Gunny Sergents.
Employment:Palentine Navy, and the Palentine WA office.
Background: back when there was a UN, the Palentine enlisted the services of dolphins to protect then, as a way of getting around the Protection of Dolpins act. Origionally intended to help detect underwater mines, and illegal fishng operations, it was found that dues to being around Chief Petty officers ,and gunny Sergents, the intellegent buggers soon learned to swear.....a lot. Pregnat women, and impressionalble youngsters should stay away from the oceans when these fellows are around. This ability, plus their general helpful and fun loving nature soon made them one of the Palentine's most loyal, and brave defenders. They saw service in Antarcitic Oasis Waters, and helped out regionmates in the invasions of Checnya, Tiki-taki, and The Eternal Kawaii. Eventually the good but unwholesome senator had an aquarium installed in the Palentine delegation, and hired some of the dolphins as assistants, especially when dealing with Sentient Rights Legislation.
Titles and awards: Cute, cuddly, and beloved by children everywhere, and possesssing the foulest mouths known to man. Considered the foul mouthed scourges of the Southern Seas.
Responcibilities: Swim, play, and assist the good but unwholesome senator. Also swaer a great deal.
Intrests:Fish, frolicing in the ocean, and swearing at the WA delgates, especially the young Nuncio from the Eternal Kawaii
Once Said: "What the<censored><dirty word> are you<foul word><bleep><anatomically impossible act> looking at, you<filthy word><<nasty adjective><very gross and foul explitive>?"
Last edited by The Palentine on Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:03 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark no

Postby Meekinos » Fri May 29, 2009 10:18 am

This entry is horribly out of date due to Meekinos having selected a new Ambassador for this position. A biography of Ambassador Vasiliki Antoniou will be drafted in time. For now, the only available information from the ambassador's office is as follows. She's a 60 year old former Senator who served two terms in office.

EDIT -- you can find the new profile of our ambassador here.
Last edited by Meekinos on Tue Jun 29, 2010 11:46 am, edited 3 times in total.
Ambassador Gavriil Floros
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Deputy Treasurer, North Pleides Merchant's Syndicate
CEO & Financial Manager of Delta Energy Ltd.
Madame Elina Nikodemos
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Factbook: Your Friendly Guide to Meekinos
The paranoid, isolationist, xenophobic capitalists.

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Murray the Evil Skull
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Murray the Evil Skull » Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:25 am

Murray the Evil Skull

Age: Immortal

Birthplace: Unknown to history, but thought to be in the Caribean during the age of Piracy.

Employment:Chief Operational Skull(COS) of Murrayland Theme Park(TM). Has worked as greeter/bouncer of the Texas BBQ, and more recently as the regional greeter for the Antarctic Oasis. Unofficial Interm Shrine Caretaker for the Kawaiians. Spends a lot of time just sitting and plotting EVIL. Lead Singer in various bands that perform in the Stranger's Bar.

Personality: Full of heartstopping malice and unrelenting evil. Suffers from delusions of granduer. A bit testy due to the fact that his great capacity for evil is hampered by a lack of a body. Likes Karaoke.

Titles: Evilest Talking Skull in Nationstates.....oh all right, he's the only Evil Talking Skull in nationstates.*SIGH!* Must you ruin everything, Mortal?

Once Said:"I need to be among the lesser beings, Mortal! Oppressing them and causing them pain and misery!"
Last edited by Murray the Evil Skull on Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:34 am, edited 2 times in total.
Murray the Evil Skull for WA Leader!
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Omigodtheykilledkenny » Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:12 am

Eh, why not?

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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Tanaara » Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:09 pm

The UnDelegate from the Domination of Tanaara.

He had a name at one point, but it is rather long forgotten, even by him. One night after rather more than a few too many at the Stranger's Bar he rechristened himself as Alias Smithenjones. He thinks it's a hoot, and he may not be wrong.

But then again he's at the World Assembly since he is the only Tanaaran Citizen who believes there might just be something worthwhile about the 'festering snake pit'. He has always had this alarming tendency to be naïve and perhaps overly optimistic. Many believe that the Archon sent him to the WA for his own safety. They may not be wrong.

Alias has a very average appearance, his looks are not exceptionally anything save exceptionally unmemorable. Nor are the clothes he wears notable save for being decently fitting, and clean. He is very skilled at doing his own laundry in the sinks of the various mens rooms scattered about the World Assembly building, and he has become especially skilled at darning his own socks.

He has recently found an unclaimed, overlooked office and managed to furnish it, though in no distinctive style. For many years he had been reduced to sleeping in whichever janitorial closet was being the least used. He hasn’t advertised his find too loudly, as he knows that any formally recognised Ambassador could come along and claim it at any time. He has no staff, no funds and lives on change found abandoned in various vending machines, dropped by accident, or lost under sofa cushions. He also makes a modest amount by returning bottles for their deposits and recycling soda cans.
Last edited by Tanaara on Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Greenlandic People
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark no

Postby Greenlandic People » Sat Sep 05, 2009 8:56 am

Dr. Sigismund Ibsen

Age: 69
Birthplace: Stedet Godhab, Greenland
Family: Few of Sigismund's relatives remain alive today. Born during the declining years of the First Republic, his father was killed by foreign soldiers during a nationalist riot outside of Visby when Sigismund was only eight. Seven years later, his mother died from a simple flu; the experienced doctors having fled the country because of the Communist regime. Therefore, Sigismund's views were colored from an early age by cynicism and nihilism, and still today those experiences can be seen to influence his debating style. Any other relatives of his remain unknown, aside from his brother Offalsson, who works as a diplomat in the Greenlandic Foreign Corps.
Education: Ph. D in Political Science from the University of Aarhus
Employment: Sigismund was forced to work from a very young age in order to support himself and his brother. Under the Communist regime, he spent a little over a decade working in the steel refineries that covered the country. Later completing studies in politics and diplomacy, he became a senior Greenlandic diplomat responsible for maintaining Greenland's isolationist balance with the outside world. After serving in this capacity for well over three decades, he was appointed as Greenlandic ambassador to the World Assembly in the late '90s. Roughly half a year ago, he was made Lavinium Delegate via a formal ceremony, a position that he currently holds.
Background: Growing up impoverished and in a time of great social turbulence, Sigismund was quickly exposed to the raw reality and cruelty of the world. His parents, both proud patriots, instilled in him the morals of self-sacrifice and the importance of the society over oneself. After many years of manual labor under the Communists, the overseer of his plant eventually discovered Sigismund's great intellectual talent when he found him regaling fellow workers with stories of Greenlandic myth and history. As one of the privileged few to attend a university, he quickly distinguished himself from his peers, and demonstrated a great desire to do what he could to help the state. After graduating a few years later, he became and experienced diplomat and political consultant, and towards the end of the Communist era he began to publish many articles and papers on the need for democratic reform. Today, he remains one of Greenland's brightest and most experienced minds
Fun facts: Dr. Ibsen actually keeps his pet scorpion in a jar on his person at all times in the World Assembly. Attentive ambassadors might notice him feeding it ripe peaches during especially dull drafting sessions
Politics: Left.
Titles: Greenlandic Ambassador to the World Assembly; World Assembly Delegate of Lavinium
Interests: Political theory, Lavinium History, Military theory, Archery, Swimming, Hiking.
Once said: "If this resolution passes, I will personally run naked into the Assembly chamber and destroy it with a blowtorch"

Staff: Sigismund is faithfully served by a diligent staff off several dozen aides, a smattering of guards, and one rather old hobo
Last edited by Greenlandic People on Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now!

Postby Glomeland » Sun Sep 06, 2009 2:58 pm

Name: Eyðvør Eilifsdóttir


Age: 50
Birthplace: Oyndarfjørður, Glomeland
Family: Two daughters, Katrin and Astrid, from her marriage to historian Niels Jónsson. One brother, Magnus Eilifsson. Ambassador Eilifsdóttir is openly bisexual and currently lives with her partner, Helena Anderssen.
Education: Undergraduate degrees in history and cultural anthropology from Árnafjørður College. Juris Doctor from Universitetet i Norra Glomelaand.
Employment: 5 years as a University lecturer, has since held a variety of posts with the Glomelandic Foreign Ministry.
Background: Eyðvør grew up in a working class neighborhood in Oyndarfjørður, Glomeland. Her father worked as a lorry driver for the local brewery and her mother was a civil servant who managed the local senior citizen's lodge. She and her younger brother Magnus both attended nearby Árnafjørður College. She and her sibling were encouraged from an early age to excel in school and take advantage of the educational opportunities offered by the state. Married at age 26 to Niels Jónsson whom she met at Universitetet i Norra Glomelaand, the marriage lasted 14 years and ended in divorce. She has since had a few known partners both male and female, but has spent the last 3 years with her current partner novelist Helena Anderssen.
Fun facts: Eyðvør is a very private person and has tried to keep herself and her children out of the public eye. She is known to have a fondness for beer, cigarettes and nude sunbathing however.
Politics: Leftist, but pragmatic.
Titles: World Assembly Ambassador of the Republic of Glomeland.
Interests: Sailing, hiking, painting, writing
Once said: "The World Assembly? Why on Earth would Glomeland join the World Assembly?"

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Postby Noordeinde » Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:52 pm

August 14th, 2011

The Rt. Honourable Mister John Gallagher, Ambassador Extroardinary & Plenipotenitiary to the World Assembly, has decided to resign from his position and to retire. Mister Gallagher, now aged 70, will be replaced by the Senator from Jonckers State: The Rt. Honourable Stuart van Amstel.

The Office of the President
The Grand Duchy of Noordeinde

Official Press Release


The Ambassador to the World Assembly

Ambassador Stuart van Amstel.


City of Fort-Nassau, Noordeinde.

* Graduated from Highschool when he was 19;
* Went to Fort-Nassau College and Graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in History (1980-1984, Graduated at the age of 23);
* Thereafther went to Fort-Nassau University and Graduated with a PhD in Political Science (1984-1988, Graduated at the age of 27);
* Continued to Nieuw-Amsterdam Law School and Graduated with a J.D. in Law (1988-1992, Graduated at the age of 31).


Private Practise Lawyer & Civil Rights Activist (1992-1996)
As a Lawyer he was not only an Advocate on a Community Level but also on a National Level for both Civil and Human Rights, including but not limited to LGBT and Women Rights.

Member of the House of Representatives (2 Terms - 1996-2004)
He represented his Constituency or 'Electorial District' for two terms as a Democrat in the House of Representatives. Both terms he served on the Committee on the Judiciary and on the Committee on foreign relations. Next to being a member on those Committees he also served on the Foreign Relations Subcommittee on Africa, Global Health & Human Rights.

Member of the Senate (2 Terms - 2004-2012)
Afther a Seat in the Senate became vacant, when a Senator from his homestate decided not to run for office again, the Congressman decided to run instead. Being pretty popular in his homestate he won the election. While in the Senate for two terms he served again on the Committee on the Judiciary, and it's Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Liberties & Human Rights this time as well. And he also served on the Committee on Foreign Relations and it's Subcommittee on International Operations & Organizations, Human Rights, Democracy & Global Women's Issues.

Member of the Democratic Party. Stuart considers himself to be a Social-Liberal/Democrat.

Stuart van Amstel holds the Titles of Permanent Representative to the World Assembly & Ambassador Extroardinary & Plenipotentiary.

Noordeindian Permanent Representative to the World Assembly. He will be responsible for representing our country and it's interests. Furthermore he will also promote Democratic values, human-, civil- and Political Rights.

Comedy, Politics and pretty much 'enjoying life'.

Once said:
'It is the Honor of a Lifetime to be able to represent my country, here at the World Assembly'.
Last edited by Noordeinde on Sun Aug 14, 2011 7:55 am, edited 7 times in total.
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Postby Havensky » Sun Sep 20, 2009 7:56 pm

Minister of International Affairs Alexandria Scarletwing

Age: 36

Birthplace: Port Hope, Havensky

Family: Alexandria lives with her wife Anna in Crystal City.

Education: B.A. in International Affairs at the University of Havensky, Masters in Diplomacy from Xirnium National University

Employment: Prior to being appointed Minister by the Skyan Senate, Mrs. Scarletwing was Ambassador-at-Large to the Great Region of Texas. Scarletwing earned her diplomatic stripes by helping to coordinate international relief efforts as part as Havensky's White Fleet.

Background: Minister Scarletwing is a dedicated public servant who rose up the ranks of the Skyan Diplomatic corp for two reasons. One is her fierce defense of human rights. Minister Scarletwing has no trouble telling high-ranking ministers of other nations exactly what they don't want to hear. The other trait she is famous for is her hard-charing mannerisms. (Which sometimes gets translated as a temper)

Fun facts: Minister Scarletwing's offices are actually on the airship H.R.A. Skyan Emissary

Politics: A fierce feminist, liberal, and defender of political and civil rights.

Titles: Minister of International Affairs, Ambassador-at-Large to the Great Region of Texas

Interests: Classical Music, Rollerderby, Martial Arts

Once said: I have never - in all of my years of international relations seen such barbaric sexist perverted unholy sick inane disrespectful uncivilized behavior from people claiming to be royal! Where is the outrage?! Where is the scandal?! Why the hell havn't we made a damn statement against the kind of utter dog feces?! (Scarletwing's reaction to The Empire of Orbis Romanorum's advertisement for a wife for the King and his three sons)

Staff: Scarletwing is supported by several aides that also work aboard the airship.
Last edited by Havensky on Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Bovidia » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:22 am

    Ambassador - Ulbago Ulbagacalf

    Age: Unknown, but theorized to be somewhere between nine and thirteen
    Birthplace: In a tall patch of grass near the rock outcropping
    Family: Ulbago laid out for nearly three months before rejoining his mother, meaning that the other two calves with her group, both of whom arrived before he did, made no small amount of fun of him. Nonetheless, he was an active and happy calf, soon growing stronger than his herdmates and even leaping over an eight-foot rock to the amazement -- and grave concern! -- of his mother, who barked after him and bounded over the rock herself, glad to find Ulbago in one piece on the other side. However, as Ulbago's horns started to develop, he found himself driven out of the area by his father. As there are no longer any Predators in Bovidia, his resulting scrabble to find a territory was complicated by the relatively large number of competing bulls. But Ulbago's rapidly developing size and large, spiraling horns soon found him a suitable territory, where he fathered six calves. Unfortunately, while marking his territory with his preorbital glands one day, Ulbago's left horn became lodged under a large root. Panicking, he wrenched his head a little too enthusiastically and broke the horn off about six inches from his head. Not long after, another bull arrived and drove Ulbago out of his territory.
    Education: None
    Employment: While he was still at the top of his game, Ulbago competed his way to the position of Representative of the Greater Kudu to the Grand Council of Subfamily Bovinae. Thereafter, he was elected as the Minor Representative of the Subfamily Bovinae to the Supreme Council, an honorary non-voting position charged with petitioning the Gray Bull on behalf on non-eland members of the subfamily. This was a remarkable personal achievement, as Ulbago was the first member of Tribe Strepsicerotini to be elected to the post, traditionally a stronghold of Tribe Bovini and especially the Cape Buffalo, in hundreds of years*. However, following his accident, Ulbago was removed from his post and replaced by Elder Matanacalf, a buffalo. Nonetheless, he had in his short time engendered a good relationship with the Gray Bull, who decided to send his old friend to represent Bovidia in the World Assembly.
    * -- It should be noted that, because most Bovids are incapable of counting, the phrase "hundreds of years" is generally thought to represent a time frame of between ten and infinity years.
    Background: Delegate Ulbagacalf's background is that of a mediator, especially within his subfamily, who is able to balance incredibly desperate points of view and reconcile them. His election as Minor Representative saw him unite the aggressive gaur with the timid bushbuck in an alliance most thought to be impossible. Because of this, however, Ulbago himself does not hold many strong convictions, and arguments one way or the other are often enough to completely change his mind. Other delegations at the World Assembly have noted that Ulbagacalf's opinion is often that of the last person who talked to him before making a decision. He is also completely loyal to the current Gray Bull, Entengo Ebagocalf, although, because of Ebagocalf's advanced age, some think the Gray Bull might soon be replaced.
    Fun facts: Relatively new to the World Assembly, Ulbagacalf has not yet been involved in any crazy capers or notorious hijinks.
    Politics: As explains earlier, most often those of the last person to talk to him. Failing that, those of the Gray Bull.
    Titles: Current: Honorable Ambassador from the Bovid Delegation to the World Assembly.
    Former: Minor Representative of the Subfamily Bovinae to the Supreme Council, Representative of the Greater Kudu to the Grand Council of Subfamily Bovinae, Dominant Male of the Rough Oval-Shaped Territory Next to the River.
    Responsibilities: Bovidia's delegation, because of the lengthy delays communicating between the home country and the headquarters, is relatively independent. Nonetheless, Ulbago does not like to vote until he knows that he is doing the Gray Bull's will.
    Interests: Fruits, fine browse, mating, rumination
    Once said: "I'm most sorry to have left my scat at the podium; I was merely trying to claim it as my territory for the duration of my speech."

    Staff: Staffing is fairly minimal, mostly because Ulbago himself is one of the very few literate and numerate Bovids, and so he does not need anyone to read documents or preform calculations for him. A number of runners are kept for communication with Bovidia; these tend to be members of Subfamily Antilopinae.

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Postby Enn » Sat Sep 26, 2009 12:23 am

Name: Stephanie Fulton
Age: 37
Birthplace: Enn
Family: A direct descendant of Gerard Fulton (first Chair of the People's Assembly of Enn). Her sister was killed during the Second Destabilisation. She is currently unmarried, but is rumoured to be seeing Stephano Faren, heir to the Faren estate (and with it the Lordship of Enn).
Background: A career diplomat, she has spent much of her life in the public service. Was awarded the University Medal in Political Science for her honours thesis on the failure of the Enn-Tul colony.
Politics: She is generally regarded as being left-of-centre, but in her role as Ambassador she is more than able to act purely as spokesperson for the Triumvirate.
Title: World Assembly Ambassador for the Triumvirate of Enn
Interests: Billiards, furthering the market for the Ennish Shandy, staying away from the not-always-entirely-safe city of Enn
Once said: "For crying out loud! Everyone loves the idea of habeas corpus, can't we just vote on it already? Silly delegates."
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Postby Goobergunchia » Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:34 am

Ambassador - [Lord] Michael Evif

Age: 52
Birthplace: Ayala, Goobergunchia
Family: In an open marriage with wife Jeanne (who's claimed that Evif is "married to the United Nations"). Both of them live in the suspiciously spacious Goobergunchian WA embassy on the 16th floor, although they are seldom seen together.
Education: Master of Applied Policy from Besselar University
Employment: Ambassador to the United Nations from the Liberal Unitary Republic. Also, a member of the High Council (ex officio). Evif has won easy re-confirmation for his title for a while, as nobody else particularly wants the job.
Background: Lord Evif grew up in Ayala, the largest city in southern Goobergunchia. After graduating summa cum laude from the prestigious Besselar University, he was elected to the Low Council from the Gonzal constituency at age 28. At age 35, he was placed on the Liberty Party's High Council list and was succesfully elected. At age 43, he was designated UN Ambassador by the Liberty Party convention and has served in that capacity ever since, with increasing freedom to vote however he wants. As a particularly long-serving ambassador to the UN and WA, Evif is rarely surprised by anything anymore -- including the disappearance of his country for a few years (his time) and nearly a century (its time). While he now appears to his countrymen to be a living legend, Evif is secretly pleased that few back at home question his WA votes -- if they knew the truth about WA debates, the proponents for the restoration of Goobergunchian democracy might take a fatal blow.
Politics: Moderately liberal, with a decided anti-sovereigntist bent.
Titles: Plenipotentiary Ambassador of the Liberal Unitary Republic to the United Nations and any successor organizations,
Lord of the Goobergunchian High Council (ex officio)
Responsibilities: Floor debates and votes, as well as approvals should he be a Delegate. Usually, technical quibbles are given to a more junior member of the staff.
Interests: Comity, defeating resolutions that limit United Nations power, and passing those that expand human rights. Oh, and pie.
Once said: "Would all members please maintain proper decorum in debate? Linguistic accuracy in floor statements is also appreciated, as is a lack of random shootings." (during debate on UN Peace Prize)

Staff: Lord Evif relies on a number of deputies and aides to do work that he's either too busy or too lazy to do. Among these include Darren Funkel (officially Deputy UN Ambassador) and Susan Zafkoro (officially Legislative Assistant). Many of his staffers are Goobergunchian political appointies that people wanted to get out of the country, for whatever reason.[/list]
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