The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Wallenburg]

Dimitri looks at the little child strangely, " What is a little child like you doing in a den of chaos like this? Your fake mustache can't fool someone like me." He rips the mustache off while stroking his thick beard.

His voice is squeaky as he responds. "With all due respect sir, I am the head ambassador of my World Assembly delegation, and I know how to navigate this den of chaos. And, I may not look it, but I'm definitely of age to drink. So, as I said, I'd like one alcohol, please, and perhaps a cocaine on the side. Thank you."

"Best I can do for you is licorice, my miniature friend," says Gerald, producing a hard black candy shell. Already small enough for a child, the candy almost vanishes in Gerald's enormous hand. "I have seen a good few species in my time working for the Wallenburgian office, and you cannot fool me. Helen, you have no substances on you, correct?"

"I've got jeda seed extract. Don't look at me like that, it's medical. It is! I highly doubt it would have any attractive properties to other species, Gerald, it doesn't work for you, after all."

"It is toxic to my species, Helen."

"Yeah, and so is my makeup. The kid is just as likely to try to eat that as my medicine. If you're so concerned go and find where his custodian is. He has no business being in here alone to begin with."

[Ainocra]

The one eyed man watches in amusement. "Some species age differently than others." Alcon proffers the half empty bottle of scotch to the diminutive ambassador. "Here, have a drink with me."

[Simone Republic]

The one eyed man watches in amusement. "Some species age differently than others." Alcon proffers the half empty bottle of scotch to the diminutive ambassador. "Here, have a drink with me."

The Bear takes a glance at the diminutive ambassador. To a hungry Bear, most species are small.

"Neville, another bottle of the finest whiskey please", the Bear says, again billing the bottle to the long suffering taxpayers of Simone Republic.

As it's approaching Christmas, the Bear starts to sing karaoke - loud enough that the Security Council can hear it.

[Imperium Anglorum]

C Marcius Blythe. It's strange to see closure of an international organisation just for Saturnalia. Fortunately it seems the bar staff has not been furloughed.

[Ainocra]

Alcon chuckles "This is what they get for trying to repeal GA2. I warned them!"

[Zhuangze]

A small man with a long, grey beard approaches the bar. He takes out a piece of writing silk and begins to form a poem. When he is approached he smiles and says, in a slow but strong voice,

"I would like one glass of rice wine please, and some hot water in a cup. I brought my own tea."

[Simone Republic]

The one eyed man watches in amusement. "Some species age differently than others." Alcon proffers the half empty bottle of scotch to the diminutive ambassador. "Here, have a drink with me."

The Bear takes a glance at the diminutive ambassador. To a hungry Bear, most species are small.

"Neville, another bottle of the finest whiskey please", the Bear says, again billing the bottle to taxpayers.

As it's approaching Christmas, the Bear starts to sing karaoke - loud enough that the Security Council can hear it.

The Bear goes over to the Three Walled Bar to sing karaoke, just to make sure that the Security Council has heard it, while much of the entire World Assembly Headquarters suddenly went dark.

The Bear remembers that the Office of Building Management posted a message outside about repairs, but looking out of the windows of the Strangers' Bar, was surprised to find a huge swarm of repair crews sweating and looking quite busy, running in and out, while some ambassadors seem to be in a state of complete panic, not realizing that a closure was scheduled. The Bear suspects that it's more serious than whatever the Office of Building Management said about a quick outage.

C Marcius Blythe. It's strange to see closure of an international organisation just for Saturnalia. Fortunately it seems the bar staff has not been furloughed.

The Bear waves to C Marcius Blythe on its way out of the Strangers' Bar, and asks Neville to send the esteemed ambassador some mulsum. Since the Bear has a sweet tooth, it orders one bottle of mulsum for itself, ready for when it comes back from the SC side.

Alcon chuckles "This is what they get for trying to repeal GA2. I warned them!"

The Bear, having overheard Ambassador Alcon's comments, gives the esteemed ambassador a thumbs up before it leaves.

[Princess Rainbow Sparkles]

Deputy Ambassador Roweina takes a seat at a table near the door, uncertain of how long she will stay. “Bartender, a double shot of your second-least-expensive Ginger Ale, please. I feel the need for a strong drink in these dark and semi-apocalyptic times.”

[American Pere Housh]

Deputy Ambassador Roweina takes a seat at a table near the door, uncertain of how long she will stay. “Bartender, a double shot of your second-least-expensive Ginger Ale, please. I feel the need for a strong drink in these dark and semi-apocalyptic times.”

While APH isn't apart of the WA, Vanny decided to stick around for the glorious chaos. She leans over towards Roweina, "Ma'am if you want something strong then you are gonna need some whiskey. One shot of your most expensive whiskey please." The bartender filled a shot with whiskey and handed to Vanny who knocked it back.

[Unibot III]

Alcon chuckles "This is what they get for trying to repeal GA2. I warned them!"

Ms. Montebello shook her head and sipped a cocktail, “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“It’s the end of times….” says a shadowy figure in the corner.

“The rapture,” he says in a slow, disturbed voice.

“The time to shut the hell up!” Ms. Montebello yells back, before returning to her cocktail, shaking her head. “That’s enough of that nonsense. Whose idea was it to repeal the Institutional Psychiatry Act anyhow?”

[Wallenburg]

Gerald pushes open the doors to the bar, letting in a small gaggle of Wallenburgians. Two split off in the direction of the Wallenburgian "office" in one of the bar's more neglected corners while the others cram the bar itself. The surge ejects several protesting patrons from their seats in order to make room for a continuous line of Wallenburgians.

"Neville, the Election Day package please," shouts Helen from between two chatty interns. "Put everyone on the office tab. Ah, Nurymi, thanks for bringing over the radio."

A scrawny woman heaves the office radio receiver onto the bartop next to the telephone. A companion staffer tows its power supply along. He slides over the counter and gets the radio plugged back into the bar's electricity.

"The signal has been on the fritz for several days, Comrade Trevanyika. Our compatriots in the office proper must have done something to the portal on their way out for holiday."

Helen waves away the issue. "To be expected. Wallenburgian nationals aren't supposed to be here at all during the election. Ogenbond probably had the portal locked down against translocation. Whatever solution the engineers found to get a signal through that lockdown must have deficiencies. We're still getting a decent signal on the public channels, right?"

"I'd rather not answer that, Comrade Trevanyika. I'll keep at it, but it really would be easier if we could go into the office and work on that portal ourselves."

[Wallenburg]

"I have a signal," reports the radio operator. He disconnects his headset and throws the switch to an amplifier. The nearest Wallenburgians raise their hands to their ears as noise washes out the nearest in their party. "Sorry! Just a second." The operator makes more adjustments, cleaning out the noise until a voice can be heard on the other end.

...running on a platform of austerity and autarky in response to the trade sanctions. Majority Leader Keegan reasserted Wallenburgian sovereignty over provinces liberated from the Jhorgian monarchy...

Noise creeps back into the signal, garbling the news read. "Comrade Neer, can you not keep the transmission clear? This is what you were brought onto this team for."

In a few seconds, the broadcast returns, a statelier voice replacing the newsperson's. The capitalist monstrosity will not yield to anything less than the greatest possible application of force. Our history bears solemn witness to this truth: from the Grey Mountains to the Arabian Sea, from the lakes of Jhorgia to the Floren steppe, every acre of land now in the hands of the people was seized back by sword and spear, never by appeal to the good. The opposition would deceive you that our elections and forums are the most essential defenses to our freedom from capitalism. No sane mind could truly believe this...

Trevanyika interjects, "Wretched witch, could you not have found us a station that isn't broadcasting her as if she drank from the fountain of Truth itself? You know burning clear how much I hate that woman. Besides, she'll be nothing more than former Majority Leader in a couple weeks. As much violence as they put out, the nationalists know they won't hold against the Democratic Front. Her party is hemorrhaging popularity far too drastically with all these sanctions. People aren't so stupid as not to know who is to blame, or for that matter who has the will to actually fix her mistakes."

"My apologies, Comrade Trevanyika, but this is the one channel that comes through worth anything. I fear the others are covering the urban mobilizations more than the elections themselves. Nothing that illuminates the situation, either, it's all speculation, on account of the clandestine temperament of such developments."

[Princess Rainbow Sparkles]

Deputy Ambassador Roweina takes a seat at a table near the door, uncertain of how long she will stay. “Bartender, a double shot of your second-least-expensive Ginger Ale, please. I feel the need for a strong drink in these dark and semi-apocalyptic times.”

While APH isn't apart of the WA, Vanny decided to stick around for the glorious chaos. She leans over towards Roweina, "Ma'am if you want something strong then you are gonna need some whiskey. One shot of your most expensive whiskey please." The bartender filled a shot with whiskey and handed to Vanny who knocked it back.

Roweina smiles. "I made quite a few poor decisions in my youth while under the influence of the really strong stuff. I'm told it relaxes some people. For me, it just made me reckless and deviant. But then again, maybe it was the amount I was drinking back then. Bartender, a whiskey and cola! But, um, two parts cola, please."

[Simone Republic]

While APH isn't apart of the WA, Vanny decided to stick around for the glorious chaos. She leans over towards Roweina, "Ma'am if you want something strong then you are gonna need some whiskey. One shot of your most expensive whiskey please." The bartender filled a shot with whiskey and handed to Vanny who knocked it back.

Roweina smiles. "I made quite a few poor decisions in my youth while under the influence of the really strong stuff. I'm told it relaxes some people. For me, it just made me reckless and deviant. But then again, maybe it was the amount I was drinking back then. Bartender, a whiskey and cola! But, um, two parts cola, please."

The Bear returns from the SC Three Walled Bar, having just submitted another resolution and looks at the unicorn ambassador, shaking its head.

"Neville!" The Bear says. "A case of cask strength whiskey pls, Scottish or Irish. No bourbons please. Charge it to Simone Republic's account, and please get all the other ambassadors in the Bar a shot."

[Wallenburg]

The Wallenburgian radio has since moved on to another broadcast.

To the surprise of many, the Brier District Consortium reports the conclusion of its local elections. Historically, the UIZ Bloc finishes two or three hours before them, resulting in earlier reports on over twenty names to the National Assembly elect. However, recent political violence in the capital city has delayed UIZ election procedures as the districts therein must accomodate for mobilized paramilitaries and local militia to have their own votes counted while they protect the peace.

The mobilization itself sparked fierce debate on the freedom of franchise in those districts where officals are elected by open ballot. The National Federalist Association, which threatened nationwide election boycotts over the mobilization for weeks, found unlikely allies in the Progressive Victory Caucus. Opposition Leader Meinga Nurellis expressed sympathy for the Federalists, churning up clouds of doubt whether the opposition coalition can survive to form a controlling majority in the National Assembly. Several opposition-dominated districts held special sessions of local councillors to order revision of election procedure, rendering most or all ballots secret. Red leaders agitated against these changes. Leader Keegan has not yet echoed their accusations of election fraud, but Chairman of Justice Nate Urban has ties to several UIZ militias known to have threatened an armed response to these rule changes.

I...thank you. We have a wire of the results for the Brier District Consortium. In the city of Brier, Comrade Elena Biryanan is elected to the office of Chief Judge of Briar with 77% of the vote. Comrade Ketta Consata follows her to fill Judge Bash's vacancy with the Brier Tribunal. He received 62% of the vote preference by two rounds...

The Wallenburgians go quiet during the reading of the results. Gerald gets up. "Forgive my rudeness, Helen, but I've never lived in Brier and certainly won't in the future. I can read the summary in the weekend paper. Mister Ogenbond's silence, however, has rather captured my interest. Delay or no, the office always has its votes recorded early. I would not expect him back until late in the day tomorrow, but he promised to tell me as soon as he could which train the office would come back on. I'm going to find a phone that connects back to Wallenburg and won't charge me the price of a new ship for it."

[Simone Republic]

"Wow, it's certainly been pretty quiet here for awhile. Do humans really observe that "dry January" idea? That's deft."

The Bear murmurs to itself as it orders another drink from Neville.

"Oh by the way, Neville, it's been seven years already since the new bar came along? Wow."

[G l o g]

Glog thirsty. Need water. Water GOOD!

[Russia18]

Glog thirsty. Need water. Water GOOD!

Dimitri looked at the Neanderthal strangely, " I thought neanderthals were extinct but I guess I was wrong." Dimitri sets a big jug of water in front of Glog and steps away cautiously.

[Gluetownland]

A strangely tall man wearing a long trench coat enters the bar. He trips over a stool and falls over, revealing to be three thousand ants.

[Russia18]

A strangely tall man wearing a long trench coat enters the bar. He trips over a stool and falls over, revealing to be three thousand ants.

"Can someone get some ant spray as we seem to have an infestation."

[Simone Republic]

A strangely tall man wearing a long trench coat enters the bar. He trips over a stool and falls over, revealing to be three thousand ants.

"Can someone get some ant spray as we seem to have an infestation."

The Bear pours some mulsum in an attempt to feed the ants, just to see what happens.

C Marcius Blythe. It's strange to see closure of an international organisation just for Saturnalia. Fortunately it seems the bar staff has not been furloughed.

The Bear toasts C Marcius Blythe from a distance, not sure if the esteemed ambassador saw it, having just co-authored a resolution with the Roman ambassador that passed the GA despite loud opposition. The Bear asks Neville for another bottle of mulsum.

[Simone Republic]

The Bear dons a pirate hat with a parrot in hand , in a different seat now that the Bar has several ant colonies.

"Ahoy! We are sending all our private ships out to the seven seas and start plundering ships from non member states across the multiverse! Now that piracy is no longer illegal for at least a couple of Earth months!

The Bear returns to its whisky.

[Maowi]

OOC: this is supposed to be a fun kinda in-character backstory for my lack of posting here in a while, except that I posted IC on proposals yesterday already, so for that I'll have to rely on the explanation that time works weirdly at the WAHQ ...

The moment his head had stopped spinning and his eyes grown accustomed to the dim lighting of the Strangers’ Bar, Feargal knew it had been a mistake to step through the glowing blue door. In his defence, glowing blue doors were not something he regularly encountered in his daily life, but he did have the suspicion that exercising some common sense might have allowed him to reach the conclusion that proceeding was less than advisable. Thankfully he seemed to be intact with no loss of limbs, pipe, or signature red beret; he also now knew where he was, which was an improvement on his situation prior to opening the door. After using an unfamiliar exit from a debate hall and getting hopelessly lost in this Kafka-esque nightmare of a building, Feargal’s desperation had wrested control from his rational mind and the light emanating from the door had seemed like a beacon of salvation – anything to escape this labyrinth! But a glance at his wristwatch told him there were at least a few hours of time his memory could not account for, possibly even days or weeks or … best not to let his brain go there. All he remembered upon stepping over the threshold was an exceptionally disconcerting sense of weightlessness and an overwhelming brightness, followed moments later by his mind going entirely blank.

Feargal hoisted himself upright, feeling his joints creak in protest, and peered through the gloom. The Strangers’ Bar was in its usual state of lethargy punctuated by occasional chaos, though none of its patrons seemed to have noticed the spontaneous appearance of a thoroughly frazzled sloth in a dark corner. Just as the thought crossed his mind, he made eye contact with Neville the barman, who was hurrying around with a tray and clearing up empty shot glasses.

“A drink, sir? The Simonian ambassador’s choice of whisky appears to have gone down well with the delegations present.” Feargal assented.

The Bear dons a pirate hat with a parrot in hand , in a different seat now that the Bar has several ant colonies.

"Ahoy! We are sending all our private ships out to the seven seas and start plundering ships from non member states across the multiverse! Now that piracy is no longer illegal for at least a couple of Earth months!

The Bear returns to its whisky.

As Neville took off towards the bar, returned with the drink, and resumed his tidying, Feargal looked towards The Bear and raised his glass – “Cheers to that!” – before gulping the whiskey down. The burn as it hit his throat made him wince; he very rarely drank, but if ever there was a time for a strong pick-me-up, this was it, Feargal reasoned. He could feel his rattled nerves starting to settle already and his internal organs returning to their proper positions. He supposed he should try and work out how much time he had missed floating in some interdimensional limbo, but he also really did not want to do that, and it was much easier simply to sit for a while.

[Simone Republic]

The Bear grabs its whisky and flees the Strangers' Bar before another brawl over the "ISDS ban" thingy, which the Bear opposed strongly but was not involved in the alleged operation to oust delegates from WA to deny quorum. The Bear is highly flammable and is not interested in nuclear warheads hitting the Bar.

[Unibot III]

“What will you be having?” said Jimmy.
“Just an espresso, please,” said Ard Van Haldron.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow - a teetotaler from Unibot? Yikes. Maybe a recession is coming after all, Jimmy thought.

From the bar, Ard watched idly by as one ambassador snorted a small mountain of cocaine off the table.

“It’s 8 AM…,” Ard said under his breath with a nervous smile.

“Repeal “Drug Decriminalization Act”” was only hours away and its imminent passage had diplomats scrambling all day to use their stashes up. Another ambassador by the name of Rodney or Roly (Ard wasn’t sure which) had consumed so many psychoactives at this morning’s assembly that he proclaimed to the entire international community that he was being eaten by giant, trilingual spiders made entirely from candy floss and human remains.

How truly remarkable it is, Ard thought, that more had been said in the World Assembly on massive, pink death spiders than the impacts of climate change on patterns of migration and human rights…