World Cup 53 RP Thread

[Loonaterian]

Today Jon Forrestero returned to the field after injury and received a hero's welcome. And what a game ensued as Loonaterian took on Eastfield Lodge at the Citadel. It started badly for Loonaterian as it looked like they were in store for another defeat. Eastfield Lodge were all over Loonaterian in the first half, and Korali Kromina was required to call upon his best form so far this competition to keep them safe from conceding a goal.

The second half was a lot better. Loonaterian were playing very well. Dani Ormondo was frustrated by a disallowed goal. With five minutes left on the clock Jorge Catalunja scored another disallowed goal. But then 1 minute into stoppage time Eastfiel Lodge launched a full on offensive. Korali Kromina twarted the attack against all odds. He then got it clear to Jani'é Boréca who dribbled it a bit, dummied a defender, ran the length of the pitch and scored. When the celebrations were over the final whistle blew with a final score of Loonaterian 1 Eastfield Lodge 0.

[The Archregimancy]

REPORT OF THE PANORTHODOX COMMISSION ON THE HISTORICITY OF THE CODEX VEGANICUS

Metropolitan Alexander of Solovetsky took part in the PanOrthodox Commission on the Historicity of the Codex Veganicus, which was held at the Holy Monastery of St John of New Patmos, the centre of the Archregimancy's Institute for Ordinary Reality Historical Studies. The Commission operates in accordance with the decision reached at the 4th Pre-conciliar Panorthodox Conference Meeting at in the Imperial City.

11 other hierarchs were present from both the Archregimancy and the Holy Empire. Following recent positive statements from the government of the Draggonnii Socialist Empire regarding the Vegan Orthodox Church, observers from the Socialist Empire were also invited to the discussions.

The commission noted the importance of the meeting, which is the first Panorthodox Commission to meet since the Vegan government recognised the existence of the Vegan Orthodox Church. The hierarchs discussed the organisation of the further research work necessary on the Codex, and set up an Executive Committee, with Metropolitan Alexander as President, Metropolitan Youhanna and Archbishop Elisey as Vice-presidents, Bishop Dositej as Treasurer, and Archbishop Iossif as General Secretary. Bishop Zenon, Archbishop Mark and Metropolitan Kallistos were also appointed Members of the Executive Committee. The Secretariat of the Committee is made up of Archimandrite Vassilios and Protopresbyter Samir.

Three Commissions were set up:

1 - Historical Commission, with Metropolitan Kallistos as Chairman, will for the time-being deal with liturgical, canonical and ecumenical questions arising out of the Vegan Orthodox Church's recent isolation, and with the preparation of an agreed list of Saints of the Draggonnii Socialist Empire.
2 - Pastoral and Inter-Orthodox Commission with Archbishop Elisey as Chairman will deal with Inter-Orthodox relations between the Orthodox Church of the Holy Empire and the Vegan Orthodox Church, and with the organisation of inter-Orthodox events with the Vegan Church.
3 - Educational Commission with Metropolitan Alexander as Chairman will be concerned, among other things, with the education and ordination of new Vegan priests, catechetical work, and publications.

In the course of the meeting, the hierarchs of the Orthodox Church mentioned in particular the need to attract young people to the Vegan Church. They also touched pastoral problems arising in connection with marriage with non-Orthodox in the Socialist Empire, and canonical issues involving the transfer of clergy from one diocese to another.

It was decided that a further Commission meeting would be held prior to the conclusion of World Cup qualification.

At the end of the meeting, Metropolitan Alexander invited the members of the Commission to a festal meal within the Monastery. The Vegan delegates were invited to join the festal meal, and Metropolitan Alexander asked them to convey his thanks to Estrianii Raelea Vega for recognising the Vegan Orthodox Church. Metropolitan Alexander assured the Vegans that now that the campaign for recognition of the Vegan Orthodox had been won, the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy was prepared to work constructively with the DSE to ensure the survival of the Vegan Orthodox. Metropolitan Alexander also thanked the DSE for their support regarding further archaeological research on the previously unidentified Orthodox village. Metropolitan Alexander closed by assuring the DSE representatives that the Vegan Orthodox would no doubt prove law-abiding and constructive citizens of the Socialist Empire, in accordance with the rules and regulations regarding existing religious beliefs in the DSE.

Afterwards, both delegations discussed the 2-2 draw between the Archregimancy and the Iglesian Archipelago. Both sides agreed that the result was a 'travesty', brought about by poor refereeing, particularly on the inexplicable refusal of the referee to recognise that the Iglesian forwards were both 3 metres offside for the final equaliser. Metropolitan Alexander expressed his delight that, despite important religious differences between the two nations, football seemed to offer common ground for discussion and agreement.

[Total n Utter Inanity]

"Great news!"

"Have they installed a vending machine that you can get meat products out of?"

"No."

"Have they made a chicken that lays chocolate eggs?"

"No."

"Is it raining colourless cherryade, so as to satisfy the tastebuds but not stain clothing?"

"No."

"Is it a monkey monk?"

"No."

"Has someone made a soup out of forest fruits?"

"No."

"Are Melmond back?"

"No."

"Have people learnt that we're not the actual TnUI?"

"They might have."

"Is that a "yes"?"

"No, it's a "nobody asked people"."

"Oh. Is it a psychadelic zebra?"

"No."

"Is it a donut tree?"

"No."

"Has someone created a creature that is half cat half ladder, so that when it gets stuck up a tree it can walk down itself?"

"No."

"Is it a custard pie?"

"They're already invented."

"But how, when the custard is so sloppy?"

"They make it harder!"

"Oh. So what is it, then?"

"TnUI won."

"Us or the original?"

"The original ones aren't in this cup."

"So... us?"

"Yeah."

"Oh......... So where can I get one of these custard pies?"

[Mytannion]

Point Up.
INTERNATIONAL|2nd NOVEMBER|SPORTS|by Vladimir Hyralov

Well. We have done brilliantly well in our last five games, and in our game today. We did even better, getting another point - well - scraping another point. It was against Jesselton, the team who we famously had our team receive several yellow cards and a red or two against. With one of our players having to be stretchered off the pitch. This time, it couldn't of been different. With it being a slow game, with no one seemingly willing to commit themselves. This could of been because of the heated confrontations last time around. But this time, it was a calm game. Until the ball went into the back of the net of course...then it all kicked off.

The first goal of the game, came in the fifty-seventh minute. From the Jesseltonians, courtesy of a lovely strike via. Zulfikri Shari's left foot. Which curled into the top corner of the net, from the edge of the box. It was a good strike, but not for our boys. Whose heads promptly went down, and the didn't play extremely well at all for the next twenty minutes. But our fans kept chanting, and it roused the players into a great game. They piled the pressure onto the Jesselton defence, and mistakes started to occur. The biggest one, when they allowed our captain to run through them. He wasn't going to stop for anyone, he was a man on a mission. And one that he completed successfully. Joep Bang sprinted onto a low pass by Hjik, and then dribbled the ball past two defenders. Who weren't able to keep up with the thirty-eight year old.

He ran past another defender. And blasted the ball into the net, almost cutting a hole in the netting. He wanted the goal, and he got it. The fans went wild. With us holding one of the best sides in the group to a one-all draw. Home advantage could of been a huge part of the performance, but we didn't play all that well. Until the goal of course, and after that we pushed on for another goal. Missing narrowly a few times, our shooting needs to be brought upto scratch though - well from what I have seen - with a couple of good chances missed badly. We could of won the game, but it doesn't matter - a point, and I am probably starting to sound like a broken record, but it was a great performance. And with us playing so well, going six unbeaten now - it could position us in a place, where we are around the big boys in our group.

We are still in sixth, but after our one-one result versus Jesselton. Our points total, becomes steadily higher - now on seventeen points, only one behind fifth-placed Greater Cotswalds, who, with a bit of luck. We may even end up catching them up. Even fourth placed, Palatazze who sit happily on twenty points. So if we win our next game (versus Greater Cotswalds), and Palatazze don't win. We will be on equal points with them, Tarrentum in third - are only on twenty-one points. So with a bit of luck, we could even catch them. Even Jesselton, on twenty-two points in second. But I really doubt that we will catch them. But come on Wolves, we can beat Greater Cotswalds, and if we do, we will be in a great situation.

With our recent form, Greater Cotswalds don't seem to of gotten anywhere after the turn of the qualifying...We hope that this continues for them, a slight bit longer. So we can beat them, and continue onto seven straight unbeaten games.

Come on the Wolves (This time with some happiness in my voice...)!

[Swartaz]

The Insight

The game against Glan Seiont was typical of our qualifying campaign. We dominated the match against a lesser ranked opponent, we passed the ball around well, we had good movement and pace, but the ability to put away multiple goals when we should be is still affecting us. We should have scored 4 or 5 goals easily, but we only managed to grab one all because of our failings in front of goal. Vaemullen and Brita cant be faulted, they played with unbounded enthusiasm, they were just missing that killer touch.

We stepped out into a cold winters night at the Mikael Dasra memorial stadium in good spirits. We knew this was an easy three points if we played to our potential. We got the win, but we could have won by a lot more. We were in almost total control of the ball for long periods of the game, dictating the game excellently. Our dominance meant we could carve the Glan Seiont defence wide open, and Brita struck the ball sweetly into the top corner of the net for one-nil.

The tempo of the game was set a relaxed tempo, and we continued with that after the break, effortlessly shifting the ball between each other. The crowd were loving the exhibition-type football, and so weren't too bothered about the lack of goals, or even goal scoring oppourtunities. The away stand was like a ghost town by the end of the game, with the Glan Seiont faithful opting for a earlier flight home rather than watch their team play out the last 10 minutes.

The win means that we have leapfrogged Western Cuba into second place, and a qualifying position. If we can pull off wins in the majority of our remaining matches, we should be able to see ourselves into our first ever World Cup finals, in our 8th attempt.

Konstantin Brita had to rush back after the match to be with his partner to witness the birth of his baby daughter. I wish the newborn baby and all the family the best of luck. He will luckily be back for our next game, a must win game against Carpathia and Ruthenia. Make sure you catch my next blog after tomorrow's game!

---

Swartaz 1-0 Glan Seiont

[Starblaydia]

"Okay... Step One: Finding your followers."

He carefully typed the letters into his word processor. E-V-E-R-y-[backspace]-Y-B-O-D-Y. It didn't look quite right. Perhaps it was a bit too ambitious. He went back to it, and added some more letters: S-T-A-R-B-L-A-Y-D-I. There, perfectly simple. There are nearly fifteen billion of them, after all, and there was no need to read up on the advantages and disadvantages of whatever particular group you aimed for.

He went back to the pamphlet.

"Step Two:" he said aloud, as he incorrectly believed it would help him concentrate, "Creating your main character."

He read through the advice, but struggled to come up with a fictional character. Ace McCloud. Boondog McAwesome. Ace Cloud McAwesomeDude. Colin. Colinonius. L-Ron-ron-ron, you L-ron-ron. It was hopeless, nothing was coming to mind at all.

Maybe it was that stupid TV that was on in the background, taking all his brilliant ideas before he even thought of them. It had his attention now, for a three hour long update and full rundown of World Cup 53's Qualifying Groups so far.

"How about a Bear?", he said out loud, "no, that'd just be silly."

He was quiet, however, when the TV told him that Holy Empire Coach Juan Tzimices was unavailable for comment after the 1-0 defeat to Great Lenin, and the post-game interview was handled by Assistant Coach Simeone Di Bradini. Various facts flashed up on the screen in the caption at the bottom of the screen as Di Bradini talked - known in the TV trade as a 'strapline', dontcha know - and they must have made the guy at least 200 years old.

He'd be perfect!

"Now, Step Three," he said out loud again, not realising that it was better than internal monologue for breaking up a single-post forum-based roleplay, "Writing a backstory."

He cracked his knuckles, now he was on a roll!
RP Bonus attribution thingy: Bits from here

[Unitopolis]

Aleksandr Zukov slumped against the wall of his kitchen as the bottle of vodka jumped from his hand onto the floor and shattered into a hundred pieces. He was too tired to even bother climbing out of the pool of glass and vodka he found himself in. He was all alone in the house, and all alone in the world. Who else was going to be blamed for the losses against Khytenna or Andossa Se Mitrin Vega? It certainly wouldn't be "Captain Fantastic" Kenil Hutsa or that fat waste of space Vladimir Denzostropok. Did he think for a second that his assistant manager Jack Clancers would share the blame.

Would he hell, Aleksandr was going to be pushed out of the job, and that would undo all the great work he'd done since arriving.

His wife had left for the week, taking the kids with her. She said she couldn't bear to see him like this, and who could blame her? What could she see in him anyway? Nothing, apart from the size of his wallet and the camera flashes that greeted his every move. Everywhere he looked, he was treated to some kind of symbol of failure.

The Ventspil Bluewings shirt on his wall? A symbol of the job he'd left before coming here, leaving his beloved Bluewings in 9th place in the Somewhereistonian League.

The picture of him, his wife and their twin boys? A symbol of how broken his family had become.

He was tired, and now he was sobbing. He climbed out of the pool of glass, and slowly and carefully took the picture off the wall, cradling it in his arms. A teardrop fell on his wife's face, obscuring his view. Another fell in between the smiling faces of his daughters, and their faces were covered. More tears were falling now, and they were falling everywhere. He couldn't see clearly, and nor could he think clearly.

He picked up the picture, and hurled it through the screen of the 50-inch plasma screen TV his wife had bought him for Christmas. Why should he have pleasure from his wife's presents when he'd given her nothing but pain.

Slowly, unable to comprehend what he was doing, he sat back down in the broken glass all over his floor. He didn't see the blood on his hands, and if he had of, he wouldn't have cared.

[Pasarga]

Results

[Rejistania]

From the blog of Maritil Hitaril:

'ika no more

There are terms, which the English language just lacks. 'ika is one of these. The English language has no real equivalent, nothing to quite convey the idea of getting something done badly, as a stopgap, in bad quality, sloppily. This idea of succeeding, no matter how shoddily has been the inofficial motto of the Orange-Blue games so far. Even the match against Free Swiss States had lots of it, despite it being the best match of the lasane'het so far. This match however had large areas of it not being 'ika and karelan like the last ones since the re-establishment of the national team (and not even the good sort of Karela). Even the result was more like it and had two goals, one by Yen Randu and one by Karela Divensi. Maybe this can be considered a good thing. Maybe, the team has eventually found the form we see in the leagues. Maybe, just maybe, even your level-headed writer Maritil is infected by the Orange-Blue fascination.

[Pretty Awesome Persons]

PAP Sports
Huge Victory over Habsburg Yugoslavia proves the power of Starting 2XI

Pretty Awesome Persons 4 (Ashley '31, '54; Zizi '71, '83)
Habsburg Yugoslavia 0

Score of PAP vs West Zirconia-
West Zirconia 2 ('35, '57)
PAP 1 (Ashley '71)

Jacob Ashley scored his 3rd goal in 3 games, proving his great abilities as a striker. Zizi scored his 3rd goal of the qualifications, now taking the role of main striker since Fransisco Gonzalez is on the bench.
The 4-0 victory at home is amazing, since PAPMNT Starting XI tied nil-nil away. This improves PAP's record to 8-2-3 and it's pretty obvious that PAP's stay at second place is permanent. This game was full of amazing goals, Ashley scoring from nearly 20 yards and again at 10 yards. Zizi scored both goals due to headers, and closed the game for PAP. Steven Sanchez said that he is very proud of his team and hopes this winning steak continues. Steven Sanchez also said his confidence in the 2XI team has increased.
Qualification for the World Cup is only 6 games away, and next match will be the last played by Starting 2XI, since Starting XI will play matches 15-19, but Sanchez said that some starters such as Louis Zizi will be benched some games and Starting 2XI players might play as well.
It's everyone's hope in PAP that we qualify for the World Cup, since it will a historic moment.

Roster for next match: (AWAY)

Formation: 4-3-1-2
Style Modifier: +2
GK- Antonio Alvarez
RB- Andrew Stone
CB- Rick Martin
CB- Rafael Herrera
LB- Micheal Rent
RM- Gerard Mann
CM- Hugo Mendoza
LM- Javier Zepeda
CAM- Wayne Titan
ST- Jacob Ashley
ST- Fransisco Gonzalez

On the bench:
CAM- Robert Figo
RB- Carlos Ramos
LB- Jeffery Smith
M- Oliver Beck
ST- Louis Zizi
ST- Paul Roberts

[Jeruselem]

Sam Sallad of Naked News Jeruselem and Sharnee "Peppers" Bellpepper

Sam: I'm Sam Sallad! We're at Dazza Dallas Stadium where Jeruselem won over the Macabees ... that's the nation, no relation to them Jews. I'm talking to one of the team, Peppers.
Peppers: Hi!
Sam: No Princess Helena today due to her knee. How did the team go?
Peppers: Well, we played for the Princess who was stuck in a wheelchair with her broken knee.
Sam: We seem to have a great record at home this cup
Peppers: Yes, it's good because our away record isn't great.
Sam: You're always out there working hard
Peppers: Yes, I always do my best on the day even if I get in the way of others sometimes.
Sam: The Macabees were a big threat to us but we've done well again to counter their threat.
Peppers: We're still under threat, with two teams who could take our spot.
Sam: Yes, we must be awake to and not drop any more points.
Peppers: I think we can do better.
Sam: How is the Princess taking all this?
Peppers: She's a bit frustrated. Can't do any exercise and she's got an active baby. You can't really do a lot of mothering in a wheelchair.
Sam: What happened in the last away game, where we got a draw.
Peppers: Well ... it was like playing football in sandpit.
Sam: Now, we have another away game. A must-win game really.
Peppers: Yes, we don't have a luxury of a buffer like them Jeru FC boys.
Sam: It seems you have a fan club of your own
Peppers: Really?
Sam: You seem to inspire young women for a poor background to do better things for themselves.
Peppers: I'm a humble person. I might have rich friends but I'm still just another girl from da poor suburbs.
Sam: There's a lot of ordinary folk in this team.
Peppers: Yes, lot of us come of humble places. But then once Dazza Dallas herself was simply another girl like me too.
Sam: I hear you're planning to be a coach?
Peppers: Yes
Sam: I don't see your type into coaching?
Peppers: I heard the money is good
Sam: It's a high stress job, not for the weak.
Peppers: I'm too stupid to be stressed.
Sam: Err, right ...

[Aguazul]

La Verdad

Well, this is sort of the Group of Life...

The national football team beat Jesselton to avenge their only loss so far these qualifiers. They remain in first place in Group 13, with five matches remaining. 38 teams have been eliminated from qualification contention to date; none of them are in Group 13 (or 12). "So does that mean we're one of the Groups of Life? I mean, I would've said four or something," slurred Beto, mulling the designation as he finished off his second beer for the price of one.

While Jesselton scored a pair of goals once again, Aguazul would be more than comfortable with five of their own. Vincente Aspe began the surge in the sixteenth minute, receiving a pass from Gerardo Riquelme and shooting into the top corner. Riquelme would get a series of assists, as it were, on the second goal, after a long series of passes to and from Bruno Dorantes. Dorantes eventually got around the visiting left defender, who my editor claims is named Seth, to extend the lead.

Effmawaie Ismail did set up Zulfikri Shari to get the visitors on the scoreboard, but Aguazul quickly tried to attack once again. The midfield eventually fell into a groove, setting Juan Esteban Oraglio up for a long run down the side of the field. He eventually pivoted and shot out of Sanizam Andu's reach.

In the second half, a foul by Misnandi Marco on Aspe let Sergio Bustamante take a free kick. Although Vennard Hadi deflected it, José Manuel Poblano eventually came up with the ball and scored. A pair of substitute midfielders scored the final goals; Inzerillo Zapatero, on a pass from Inzana Zapatero, in minute 78, and Claudio Albornos four minutes later.

Jesselton, who were in second, fall to third with Tarrentum's victory. "So yeah," said Beto, "I guess we're all still in this.

Not that I wouldn't mind if Aguazul clinched, soon," he rushed to amend. It's not out of the question; should Aguazul win and Jesselton lose, we'd be ten points clear of them. They've got the Landau Institute next, while we host Greater Cotswalds...

[Qazox]

Qazox_World Cup_53_qualifying/QSPN.com

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Qazox now trails Valladares by 9 points, with 5 games left in the qualifying campaign. While the H2H record between the two nations heavily favors Valladares 2-0-0 (8-0 GD); Qazox still is alive for at least a couple more weeks. A domination of Vijay, 6-0 behind a hat trick from Tanya Calvin (14th, 22nd and 38th) and goals from Nate Calvin (43rd), Greg Johnson (68th) and Ryanne Halpberg (83rd); improves Qazox back to .500 with a 6-1-6 record.

While the early losses to Vijay and Melki that put Qazox at 0-1-3 probably were the backbreaking losses if Qazox does not make the World Cup. If they had won those two matches, Qazox would be 8-1-4, in 4th place one point behind Kazzoria.

Up next for Qazox is a trip to Dutch Africa. The last 5 games favor Qazox a bit as 3 of the final 4 games are at home, with the last tough road test beign a trip to Kazzoria. The best news for Qazox is that the 4 teams above them play each other over the next month. If Qazox can beat the 2 teams immediately above them in the standings on the final 2 matchdays (Kazzoria and Kagdazka and Pazhujebu), and if those 2 teams can beat Sarzonia and Valladares; perhaps Qazox can sneak in.

[Al-Mumtaz]

PHOENIX POST
The Holy Phoenix On Fire!!

On this 13rd matchday, The Holy Phoenix slain Samos Islands 5-1 at Hall of Agility.

WorldCup 53 Qualifying

Perhaps it was no coincidence that showdown between Al-Mumtaz and Samos Islands took place on Dragon Day, because Al-Mumtaz played like dragon slayers compared to the dragon-like Samos Islands.

From the whistle ,Al-Mumtaz made it clear they were out for blood and after 26 minutes opened the scoring with a superb goal from Al-Mumtaz captain and midfielder, Fauzan Kamil, the first of his great hat trick.

The Holy Phoenix never looked back, keeping a disturbingly lack-luster Samos Islands on their back foot. Fauza added Al-Mumtaz's second to the board, while a deadly penalty from striker Sanazza Al-Mumtaz made it 3-0.

Despite a presumably heated 'pep-talk' from Samos Islands manager at half time, his team fared little better in the second half.

But to the credit of the Samos Islands, they managed to keep Al-Mumtaz at bay until 20 minutes from the final whistle, when Sanazza volleyed in his second goal of the match.

As grim-faced Samos Islands fans watched their side being gutted by the Holy Phoenix, Happines had come for Al-Mumtaz fans, who were watching one of their team's greatest performances in recent years.

And their final gift of the match came in the form of a third goal from Fauzan to put Al-Mumtaz 5-0 up. It was only due to a cracking injury time effort from Samos Islands striker, that the final score was 5-1.

With this match, Al-Mumtaz still at third position with 24 points, because Kulverint also got a 1-3 victory against saxony Silvia. The next match for the Holy Phoenix will be an away match against Sargossa, who beat us 1-0 at 5th matchday. The lose in this match can't be tolerated, because every match is crucial.

[Sungai Pusat]

Joanne's Sports Radio Show

We are screwed..... mathematically.....

Ms Joanne: "Title says it all. We fought against Novikov and we lost. Two to nil. We have been the best team in the group that mathematically, would be eliminated. Half of our group may most possibly be gone. Note I mean Group 8 in the WC. I think it is 3rd November this year, right? Yeah, I think so. Oh, we're getting a call now. I got a new feature installed. Hello?"

Caller: "You bastard! How could you! Report this! Insolent Act! By our Team!"

*call drops*

Ms Joanne: "OK, then. Any other calls?"

Producer: "All the other calls were almost the same thing. Oh, here's one from a guy saying something else."

Ms Joanne: "Hello?"

Caller 2: "Hi there. Name's James."

Ms Joanne: "Ok, then. Anything you wanna say to our listeners?"

James: "Yes. Why did we lose?"

Ms Joanne: "No answer for that, unfortunately....."

James: "OK, that's all."

Ms Joanne: "Really? OK then.Goodbye now."

James: "Goodbye."

Ms Joanne: "Well, that is all folks."

[Khytenna]

World Cup result: Firestone Hat trick seals the 3 points

Osea-Tablya 0

Khytenna: 3
Firestone 6th 25th 68th

Khytenna got there second win of the Qualifications last night, away in Osea-Tablya, thanks to 3 goals from Fergal Firestone.

The game started exceptionally well for khytenna, a very vocal crowd was behind the home side so khytenna had a lot to work against, but the travelling Khytennan fan’s get something to cheer about in the 6th minute as khytenna opened the scores. The goal came from a corner, the defence was all over the place due to khytenna’s quick attacks, the ball was crossed in by Carmichael and then was headed in the goal thanks to Firestones running header, 1-0 was the score, the home crowd falling silent. That goal set the mood for the game, Khytenna continued to dominate for the rest of the game. Firestone got his, and khytenna’s, second of the game as he made a run into box chipping the keeper in the 25th minute of the game, he was a constant problem to the defence of Osea-Tablya. The first half ended 2-0, khytenna had some chances to make it 3 but failed to convert them.

The Second half picked up where the first left of, with khytenna in the driving seat looking like the winning team, they were moving the ball all around the field, Osea-Tablya was just no longer part of the game, the home fans had started to leave, and most of the followed after Khytenna got there third. A through ball by Keogh-Green found the feet of firestone who powered the ball past the keeper with his first touch, 3-0 the score stood, no one could doubt that khytenna where gonna win this. The game ended 3-0, khytenna failing to get another goal, not that realy mattered, khytenna now have 2 wins next to their name and still able to qualify (even though this is unlikely)

Next Game!

Ringwood makes his return to the side and replaces Carmichael on the Left wing. Khytenna will play Cotdelapoms in there next game at home.

GK 1. Tim Gatton (28 Central FC)
RB 15. Oliver Testerman ( 22 Blue Bay)
LB 2. Shad Vancil (23 Keltyme Foresters)
DC 17. Nelson Bohannan(20 Kings’s District)
DC 14. Max Showman(25 Central FC)
RM 7. Casey Thorne (capt) (26 Central FC)
LM 11. Neil Ringwood (30 Blue bay)
CM 6. James Keogh –Green (20 Memorial City Eagles)
CAM12. Malik Deshazior (21 Percepi Sharks)
FW 9. Fergal Firestone (20 blue bay)
FW 10. Allan Syd (33 Xepthic reds)

Gatton

Vancil          Bohannan        Showman       Testerman

Ringwood               Keogh-Green            Thorne (capt)

  Deshazior

     Syd               Firestone

[Tynelia]

What’s gone on in the past 30 years in Tynelia part 12

President Allensby’s second term of office was considered by most accounts to be a successful one. The economy had gotten back on it’s feet as profession sports teams managed to make it the entire term without any more contractions and talk had begun about re-expanding back to some regions forced to shut their teams down in the past dozen years. The new gold mining operations was running at full capacity bringing in needed specie into the economy. Trade had picked up again and the Tynelian people began spending more as jobs began to reopen up with unemployment down to only 4.1% at the end of his term from a near record 12.3% when Allensby first took office.

Socially, people were rallying in surprising numbers to the New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy after the President continued to give it and the Lord of Scores credit for both returning the country to prosperity, revealing the greed and corruption of the by then all but wiped out Catholic church including increased taxing on the smaller cults still around (Judaism, Eastern orthodox, Anglicanism and a rapidly dwindling Islamic group) to ensure those radical groups did not attain troublesome numbers. And by being the root of the ending of the terrorist ‘Holy Crusader’. For the first time the NOCCRO actually reached majority status in Tynelia as they outnumbered the atheists 48% to 47% in polls released right before President Allensby’s term ended.

Having served his constitutionally limited two six year terms of office, the country on a positive bent for the first time in over twenty years eagerly looked towards the upcoming election. Would the People’s Party continue to stand as a major party from this time forward in Tynelian politics? Or would the Socialists and Dominionists, out of the top office for the past twelve years reassert themselves as the Big Two as they had for most of Tynelia’s history and President Allensby would go down as a historical footnote as a freak occurrence never to be repeated again in TYnelian politics?




Everybody Wins

Tynelia won it’s match at the Frozen Palace against Mangolana by a comfortable 2-0 score. Jay Masterson IV and Mia Watson tallied the two goals after a scoreless first half which had the home crowd nervous. However in the end it just allowed the team to keep pace with the two leaders as Kelssek won 4-1 over Estnorden as THEY at least sent their actual world cup squad to the match. Delaclava also kept pace with a 3-0 shutout over Sibirsky. This means Tynelia is still 5 behind Kelssek and 4 behind Delaclava.
With an 8 point gap between Tynelia and fourth place Toyer this is now realistically a three team race with a qualifying deciding pair of matches up next. In Kelssek where Tynelia tries to avenge their home loss in the first half of qualifiers. Then at Michael McPhee Memorial Stadium, Tynelia hopes for a series sweep as they take on Delaclava trying to repeat their 3-1 first half win. Realsitically a sweep is probably required for Tynelia to leapfrog one of these teams and get into the World Cup proper.

[Kulverint]

Kulverint beat Saxony Silvia!

Kulverint made another step towards the world cup today, with an away win in Saxony Silvia. Kulverintians are excited all over the country about the next few steps. Group 14, the group Kulverint is in, is the most closed group, with only half of the teams able to qualify.

The game began with a bang, known as Saxony Silvia. 1-0 in minute 2 left Kulverintian fans worried to say the least! The 32nd minute, however, changed everything, with Xixi Milverki scoring an amazing goal from the halfway line. It kept us from a loss, but we still wanted more. It took a while to get going again, though, and the half intervened before a goal could be scored.

The second half started calmly, with little play at either end, and most of the ball in the middle. However, in the 53rd minute, Janni Milverki got the ball on the edge of the pitch. He ran up the touchline, got to the end, and skipped around the midfielder. He then had a small altercation with a defender in the box, before shooting and scoring. 2-1. All that was left was to run the game down to a close, but this was not on Zindrana Milliana. Making the most of the situation, the defending midfielder made a lunge at goal, and got it. His first ever goal internationally was the cause of huge celebration. 3-1 to Kulverint. Game over.

Kulverint's next game is a home game to Free Soccer, a new team and one we beat first time round.

---

Saxony Silvia 1-3 Kulverint

[The Archregimancy]

OOC - adapted from http://dioceseofsourozh.squarespace.com/maineng/2010/10/17/archbishop-elisey-of-sourozh-made-an-archpastoral-visit-to-i.html

Monastic Press Release

Metropolitan Mark Makes Pastoral Visit to the Vegan Orthodox Church

On the 13th matchday of the 53rd World Cup, Metropolitan Mark of the Greatest Lavra celebrated the first hierarchal Divine Liturgy in over a century at the Holy Monastery of The Apostle Philip of the Seventy in the Draggonnii Socialist Empire (DSE). In his archpastoral address Metropolitan Mark called on the Vegan compatriots to develop the church life in the Western part of the Socialist Empire.

On the first afternoon, a meeting of the representatives of the Vegan monasteries with the Metropolitan took place at the the Holy Monastery of St Theophanes the Confessor and Hymnographer. It was decided to establish two new parishes in the DSE in the hope that this would lead to a revival of Orthodox life in previously-abandoned villages of the Vegan Orthodox faithful. It was also decided to establish deaneries corresponding to the boundaries of the provinces of the DSE, in the hope of future expansion across the Socialist Empire, though doing so fully in keeping with the laws of that state.

On Saturday evening, Metropolitan Mark celebrated the Vigil at the last remaining Orthodox village. During the service he tonsured two of the Vegan faithful as readers.

After the service, the Metropolitan met the Parish Council of the village. Issues concerning the administration of the Vegan Orthodox Church were discussed at the meeting. Much discussion also took place regarding the Archregimancy's 2-1 home victory over the Weegies. The Vegan faithful offered their congratulations regarding a well-deserved victory that places the monastic footballers in the driving seat as regards qualifying in second place. All present agreed that the Weegies had been thoroughly outplayed.

The next day, Metropolitan Mark celebrated a Divine Liturgy of leavetaking at the Holy Monastery of The Apostle Philip of the Seventy. He greeted the clergy and faithful and conveyed to them the blessing of His Holiness the Patriarch of the Imperial City in the Holy Empire.

[Cotdelapoms]

Carbonnier To Retire After This Campaign

After a disappointing defeat to Starblaydia that involved much less controversy involving the Raiigar, Cotdelapoms' 35 year old national captain Michel Carbonnier announced he would be retiring from international football after this World Cup campaign draws to a close. The Sparta central midfielder has frequently found himself losing his spot in the team to upstarts like Cap Nordique's Jonathan Watson or Montréal's Alexandre Faille, proving that despite being captain he is not an automatic selection. His precise and booming free kicks are still useful to the team, but he has been a step slower recently and a strong younger generation of Cotdelapomais footballers are knocking at his door.

"We unfortunately sit precariously close to being eliminated from qualification for World Cup 53, and it is disappointing that I have never gotten to play in the World Cup and it is looking less and less likely that I will. However, I would like to prolong playing this wonderful sport for a career as long as possible and the merciless grind of traveling the world for international competition is becoming far too much for me at my age. I would like to be able to help my club Sparta regain as much glory as possible before I am retired from professional football in all capacities." Carbonnier told the congregated media after the 2-0 defeat. He added "I want to thank everyone whom I've ever played with or for at the national team level for making it such a great experience to represent my country, and I'd like to thank the people of this great nation for making it a place I am proud to represent overseas."

Michel Carbonnier and the White Apples will be facing off with Khytenna next.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

And so, a home match against Tyrrin.

For once the current Imperial squad looked like they'd come to play. Two winless games in a row might not be much of a wobble, but it looks bad enough for a team supposedly ranked in the top ten.

So Tzimisces stood there raging on the sidelines, as Di Bradini paced up and down across the home bench.

My Lady Charlotina and Mistress Christia seemed more interested in actually playing up the wings rather than merely playing up (on engaging in 'adult' play).

Captain Barstable and Werther were rocks in the heart of defence, and even Lord Mongrove was actually attempting to stop opposition shots.

The communication and interplay between the Iron Orchid and Lord Jagged seemed almost telepathic at times.

And leading the front line, Jherek and Amelia rained shot after shot on the visitor's goal. Why, Amelia seemed to have almost totally set aside some of her inhibitions, and had discarded her skirt in favour of shorts. It was probably the most leg she'd shown in public in her entire life.

But still the home side couldn't score. The goalkeeper from Tyrrin - to the immense frustration of a passionate home crowd - was having the match of his life. World class save after world class save (not to mention a little help from crossbars and posts that seemed to have been specially charmed for the occasion) kept the match goalless.

A half-time special from Tzimisces - not to mention an exquisite fortifying snack from Argonheart Po specially themed (for no real apparent reason) around Sarzonia's one and only past World Cup victory - made no difference. Again they came out, again there was only one team in it - and again the goalkeeper from Tyrrin stopped everything - and it was a quite considerable everything - that the Holy Empire could throw at him.

And then, in the 80th minute, something ... new; something different.

In only their second attack of the game, one of the Tyrrin forwards was inadvertently tripped in the Imperial box by Werther, who immediately committed suicide in remorse (and was almost immediately restored for his pains; at which point he committed suicide again; and was restored a second time - at which point he gave up).

Tyrrin's captain stepped up to take the penalty that would virtually guarantee that his team won the group.

Lord Jagged took what seemed to be a pocketwatch out of his shirt, he pushed a button, and....

Everything melted at the seams, twisted around itself, went grey and polychrome and dead and sparkly and - well, it's a bit difficult to describe in words, but it was most definitely new and different.

The official WCC match summary states "match abandoned at 80 minutes due to fog; 0-0 result allowed to stand."

But it would say that, wouldn't it? Mundies lack the vocabulary to explain what just happened.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere deep in SBIS HQ

"Right, that's it. How much longer are we going to let him test that thing unsupervised?"

"But you can't complain about the result, boss."

"Yes I can. Since the beginning of our participation in the World Cup, it's been understood that we won't use oneirology to tamper with results. And that's twice now his experiments have had an impact on results. First the Ursine Northlands, and now this - and this is far more direct a case."

"But we would have lost if he hadn't..."

"And it would have been a travesty of a result - but we would have lost fairly. I know you haven't been here long, Basil, but in Ordinary Reality, you can't always get what you want."

"Well, in theory, I suppose, but..."

"Not in theory, Basil - in fact. And if it looks like we're tampering with results, they might kick us out."

"Except, it's not us, boss - it's Lord Jagged."

"And you think the mundies will know the difference? Get me ISPI - and don't let them fob me off on anyone below the level of Third Undersecretary!"

[Eastfield Lodge]

The Sporting Gazette

Vladimir to get the sack if Eastfield Lodge do not make it to at least semi-finals of Cup of Harmony.

The ELFA have finally lost their patience today with Vladimir O'Shea, the national team manager, after the team were beaten 1-0 at home by Mantwenic, along with 5 wins, 2 draws and 2 other losses since our last match reports. They issued the following public announcement:

The ELFA have decided that the manager of the national team, Mr. Vladimir O'Shea, will be fired with immediate effect if he does not turn around the team's performance before the end of the World Cup cycle. We realise that it may be impossible for the team to qualify this time round, but Mr. O'Shea will be forgiven if he can get the team to the World Cup itself. In the more likely circumstance that the team doesn't qualify, then we demand of him at least a 4th place finish in the Cup of Harmony, should we get in. And if we don't get into it, he will be forced to resign with immediate effect.

The reaction to this was mixed, with results of our online poll stating that 34% would like to see the back of him, 27% stating that Mr. O'Shea needs to given a better chance at succeeding, 32% saying they don't really care, and 7% putting forward other suggestions.
Given that we have ten matches to report on, we'll just skim through the scorelines and focus on the wins.
Eastfield Lodge 4-0 Habsburg Yugoslavia: A good win, and one that gave the team some morale and momentum. Shabeen Ahmad III (23', 45'+2' [penalty], 63') then turned provider for Sameer Ahmad to score with 2 minutes left of normal time.
Hanox 1-0 EL: Paul Romadrius (13')
EL 5-2 Zirakul: A very high-scoring match in which both teams went all out attack, and a total of 43 shots were fired. Zirakul went 2-0 up inside 23 minutes, Piuelu getting both goals from free kicks. Sameer Ahmad then replied three minutes before first half stoppage time, beating the offside trap to head in Ben Madison's cross. Thomas O'Henly equalised three minutes into first half stoppage time, catching the Zirakul defence on the counter-attack and firing high past the goalie. That left two defenders having an argument, and this came back to haunt Zirakul; when Shabeen Ahmad III gave the team the lead after 47 minutes of play, the two defenders in question (Alu Alu and Mekekepoia) started a fight, which was cheered on by EL spectators, before the referee and his assistants broke it up and sent off the two defenders. Which left two defenders defending the goal (if you include the subsequent substitution), all of the EL players tried to get a goal, but it was only the acrobatics of I'iokumaiu, the Zirakul goalie, that prevented the scoreline from being 10+-2. But he was beaten twice after that incident, the first time being on the hour mark, when Alex Gallagher cut inside Heho’lehei and beat the keeper from 25 yards, and the second came just three minutes later, when Jack Gallagher not wanting to be outdone by his twin brother, scored from 26 yards after a scintillating 40-yard run. Final score: 5-2.
EL 1-1 Swartaz: Shabeen Ahmad III (39'); Joan Vaemullen (56')
Bears Armed 2-2 EL: Irrarla SunDaughter (21', 90'+2'); Thomas O'Henly (54'), Shabeen Ahmad III (90')
EL 4-1 Khytenna: The only win in the mid-qualifying friendlies, and a complete show of domination by the Eastfield Lodge team, and especially by captain Shabeen Ahmad III, who scored all four of the EL goals in the first half (12', 16', 34' and 43'). The consolation came from a header by Oliver Testerman, with 5 minutes of normal time time.
PAP 3-5 EL: Too much to write about. Robert Figo (34', 56', 75'); Shabeen Ahmad III (23', 41', 65'), Sameer Ahmad (84', 89')
EL 2-1 Aalnorhavn: A goal within 60 seconds from an unknown player put EL on the back foot, but the team bounced back with two goals from Ben Madison.
Loonaterian 1-0 EL: Jani'é Boréca (90'+1')
EL 0-1 Mantwenic: Unknown person (36')

Oh well, things can't get any worse can they.

---

Team to play West Zirconia: Starting XI

Goal Tally WC53Q:
Shabeen Ahmad III: 13
Sameer Ahmad: 5
Thomas O'Henly: 2
Ben Madison: 2
Jack Gallagher: 1
Alex Gallagher: 1
Robert Andrews: 1

[Loonaterian]

Loonaterian lost at the Citadel 4-1 against West Zirconia. Jorge Catalunja scored Loonaterian's only goal, but Loonaterian didn't receive much more.

[Mytannion]

Breaking the Line.
INTERNATIONAL|3rd NOVEMBER|SPORTS|by Vladimir Hyralov

Well. Our streak has finally been broken. By Greater Cotswalds, a team who we expected to be an easier challenge. But turned out to be the complete and utter opposite. Giving us a sound beating, which we seemed to thoroughly deserve and took - almost gratefully. The players ran out, almost playing in a stupor. They really didn't perform to the best of their abilities. This proved to be the main problem, as we fell to the Greater Cotswalds sword ; heavily..if this had been a 'duel' - we would of been ran through about four or five times. The end result on the big scoreboard showed this: Greater Cotswalds 3-1 Mytannion. Meaning we were thoroughly and well beaten. This almost completely turns our position around, from one where we could of actually qualified - to one where we would struggle to even get to our - hopeful - position of fifth or fourth. The positions we did predict, taken up by stronger sides.

In our current situation, we could still mathematically qualify. But we actually know, it is obvious that we won't manage to qualify - what with some of the quality that is a part of our group. But if we can win three of our remaining five games. We could almost - struggle - to what Theo Wekkler wished to be the teams final position in the group. He said, "A good tournament for us, would be to finish around fifth, halfway up the table. Would be great."

So that from the team manager, must mean a lot to the team - and certainly it should push them, to try and finish higher...no? Well, that hasn't happened at all, with our big loss against Greater Cotswalds - has dropped us right back down to seventh. With Landau Institute overtaking us after they beat Robsonien two-nil. We still have five games left, but that could all change in a moment. Especially with tough games against both Aguazul and Landau still to come, not to mention the Tarrentum team, that ripped us apart last time they played us - if they replicate that again, we could be in huge trouble. But again, there are always other games.

Our single goal, came from Radoslaw Famoc. Who seemed to be causing a few problems for the Greater Cotswalds defence. But they seemed to weather the storm from him...the single-handed storm. No one else seemed to want to win the game, and going from playing some of the best football of their lives..to playing like this. Was a complete shocker to me. And to most of the other members of my team here at the MG. His goal, was a great finish however. And it was almost all his doing. It started off with a cross into the box from Jukka Ritaile, he brought it down with his foot. Let it bounce, and then turned and shot into the top corner. The ball flying past the goalkeeper's outstretched hands. This goal was scored on the twenty-sixth minute...

The reply, however. Was our big problem. Lars Verhaar, really pulled his performance out of the bag. Scoring three goals in the space of fifteen minutes. A hattrick that turned the game around, a hattrick that destroyed the defence. And won the game for them, the first, was a team goal. With almost four minutes of passing by their boys before it. Before it was finally crossed into the box, when he rose above everyone else. And darted a header into the bottom corner of the net, Juri Juric unable to save it. The second, was a great long-range strike. He dribbled past three players before rifling the ball into the top corner from around twenty-three yards. The ball curling around Juric's outstretched palm, but not reaching the ball..the goal standing for them.

This put them back ahead, we had a couple of chances. The best being one for Laze v Tuhinju, where from a corner. The ball bounced off the back of one of their defenders, to his feet. Where all he had to do, was put his foot through the ball. And it most probably of gone into the net, hitting the back of the net. Probably drawing the game for us, they may of not been able to pull ahead again. The big surprising thing, was all of the goals came in the first half. Meaning that we could of had a huge chance to get another point, and continue our unbeaten campaign, continuing our crusade on our group. The third goal, was one that most definitely won the game for them. It was a great goal, and it proved to be one that made our lads' heads fall. And they didn't want to play out a game where they were getting soundly beaten by a better side on the day.

Lars Verhaar, dribbled past Jlo Sita, then around Carlo Dirarno - who was left for dead. Speic Fyfat, went in on the slide. Verhaar simply chipped the ball over the sliding legs of Fyfat, and jumped over them. Then Njulae came across to challenge, but was left sat on his backside. Failing to challenge the man, Verhaar then noticed Juric off his line. Juric was coming forward to charge the 'keeper. And stop the shot, Verhaar remained calm. He chipped the ball over Juric's head. The ball bounced once inside the six-yard box, and then over the line...then hitting the back of the net. Three-one, game over. That was what it was all about.

Next up we have to play Palatazze, who beat us last time out. A win, would shoot us back up the table. Which would be great, especially if Landau don't manage to win their game. They are a good team, and currently sit in fifth. This could be their chance to get something higher, and something even better. This is their chance to get their position bettered, and secured. This is our chance to have what would be a great tournament, a tournament which we believe that we deserved to achieve and managed to get through some good performances. Which we currently believe we have done - have good performances, I mean - but, we don't sit in the right place in the table. Well, most Mytanars believe that..but that doesn't matter.

Come on Mytannion!

[Pasarga]

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