World Cup 53 RP Thread

[Mytannion]

Good run of form continues..
INTERNATIONAL|31st OCTOBER|SPORTS|by Vladimir Hyralov

Our form continues to be good. With a run of four games with out a loss. In that time, we have managed three wins, one draw, zero losses. Meaning our performances definitely seem to be taking an upturn. One thing that could worry coach, Theo Wekkler - is the fact we haven't scored more than one goal in any single game. But this is okay, seen as we seem to be playing well enough to scrape some wins and draws together. And the fact that we are playing well - but having some good chances that fall foul to good goalkeeping. Some are also unlucky - due to a couple of bad refereeing decisions.. However, that doesn't really matter now. As the three points are the most important thing to our players, our manager, and our team. We continue to surprise quite a few teams in this tournament too. With us being sixth in the group overall - and three points behind Palatazze in fifth. This is good, as Theo Wekkler said anywhere around mid-table in our group would be a great tournament for us. Which it has been, and it looks like we will keep our position now. Especially if we have a couple more wins, as I predicted that we should.

Onto the action, in the game now. We won, which I suppose has been obvious from the above paragraph. But, it was a lucky win. I know, I am supposed to be Mytanar - supposed to support my team to the ends of the Earth. But if it wasn't for a half-blind linesman - well, not really, but with the terrible decision he made he actually could of been - we wouldn't of won. This is because in our sole goal of the game, Radoslaw Famoc was offside. Or he was at first, when the ball was kicked out by the Bergnovinaian goalkeeper. He was in an offside position... But Robin Hjik passed it out to Jukka Ritaile on the left, who took it past two defenders who were floundering - and didn't manage to tackle him, he left them in his wake, and ran past Famoc, who now was apparently back onside - a defender walked inbetween the two of them, so Ritaile stroked the ball through to Famoc who slyly slid the ball into the net. This wasn't offside - apparently - because of the fact that he had got himself back onside. But he had been a mile ahead of all the defenders in the first place, and ran back onside as the play came past him.

We are not complaining at all though.

No, we are more than happy with the result. And tomorrow, we head back to Mytannion, and The General Jarko Arena. To play Robsonien, the team we got beaten one-nil by when we played at their place. This shouldn't be repeated, we should win the game - easily. Especially with the sort of form that we are in, with going four games unbeaten (no, it isn't the best record ever, but is a good record for a team just coming out of the Baptism of Fire). Our form has gotten gradually better. If our defenders keep shutting out teams, we should be fine. If our midfielders keep doing well - everywhere - we should be fine. If our strikers score a few more goals - we could do extremely well. In sixth, if we win three more games - we could actually end up fifth or even fourth (although that is quite unlikely). But fifth is a definite opportunity, and this would improve our World Football Ranking hugely. And would give us a good opportunity to qualify for the World Cup proper - in one of the next three qualifying campaigns. But even that is unlikely.

Anyway, come on the Wolves!

[Akbarabad]

Tiger Eaters gear up for crucial game against Yafor II with first away win of the campaign.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): Akbarabad began the second half of qualifying with a nervy 1-0 win in minnows Lycrabon despite some blatant favourtism shown towards the home team. The Lycrabon players were allowed to foul us with impunity as the Tiger Eaters were denied two clear penalties and astonishingly, none of the home team players were sent of for any of their quite viscous fouls. With the establishment lined up against us and Yafor II and the SLANI instead, this game showed just how difficult it will be for us to qualify from here. The organizers have clearly decided for whatever reasons, that they don't want us in the Finals.

In such circumstances, it's hard to see how the a Tiger Eaters can pull of a win against heavily favoured Yafor II. They earlier confounded us in their own home turf with generous referring help and this time even with home advantage on our side, we can't be sure that the refereeing won't favour them again, let alone be halfway fair. Memories of World Cup 48 Qualifying, where we defeated home and away despite being ranked lower seem so far away.

Our main hope is that after taking stock of the damage that they have done to the game, the organizers back of and let us play the remaining games at an even level.


Lycrabon 0-1 Akbarabad
(Samin Akbar 29" )

[Tarrentum]

Tarrentum Falcons Sporting News

With the start of the second-half underway, Tarrentum showed that they had made good use of their off days in practice. The Falcons faced off against Robsonien once more and this time came away big winners. From this reporters perspective, the Falcons were well-rested, well-fed and, above all, well-coached and managed. You could tell that the Orange and Blue were focused on attaining Daestegwen Dlaratanina's vision for her squad. Her formations and philosophy of football is being translated beautifully on the field by Delphine Gabriella Italiana. Yet one must look forward and wonder if this can continue. The fast-paced play of the Tarrentians may be tempered by the age of most starters.

Ms. Italiana will have to start using her substitutes in meaningless or out of reach games even more as the World Cup progresses. Not just for the starters, not just to play "gentlemanly", but to keep the team level-headed. The Falcons have just 9 more matches to advance and right now Group 13 is wide open. With their win the Falcons were pushed to the front of the 2nd place teams, all with 18 points but with Tarrentum holding the most Goal Differential. The Falcons can afford one, maybe two losses, but definately need more wins than draws for the remainder of the games in order to advance to their first Qualifying Stage.

In the game itself there was not much contest from the Robsonien Squad. You can tell that the gruelling schedule has been especially tough of the young team. Henry Qund and Noel Gennesse were the two goal scorers for the National Team with Qund netting his 8th and 9th goals of the tournament.

Keep you fingers crossed and pray to the Lord Above for some continued goodwill for our Falcons.

[Swartaz]

The Insight

That is what we like. Beating a higher seed. Thta's what we need to do to qualify. It's as simple as that. If we play at our full potential, we can destroy most teams in a world cup qualifying group, especially the one's ranked 150+. We have had the forces against us so far this tournament, but today really could be a turning point. A good performance, dominating a 'better' team that us, and getting the goal to give us the three points. You cant say fairer than that playing Bostopia.

In regards to the game. We had several boosts coming into the game, namely the return of Vaarger (Handorlink) from suspension, and Konstantin (Brita) from injury. Konstantin however started the game from the bench, to be phased in later in the match.

The game kicked off and right from the start Bostopia were pressuring us. Giving no-one time on the ball, no-one a chance to create something. We responded with the extra effort to get past them. Their defence seemed sturdy, and weren't fazed after we gave them a few challenging tests early on. They cracked mid-way through the half however, Gösta being denied by a superb save from David Brightwell. This would set the tone for his performance. The tempo didn't slow at all in the run up to half time, and left us all shattered by the time the whistle for the break was blown.

The second half was a more scrappy affair. Some mad tackles flew in, and Asbjörn was brought down by a horrendous two footed tackle courtesy of Dave Proctor, who was sent off as a consequence. 20 meters out, this is Gösta territory. He stuck the ball with his usaul deadly accuracy, and the ball lashed into the top right hand corner of the net. 1-0 and we couldn't believe it! Bostopia came at us even harder in response to the goal, and another shocking challenge, this time aimed at Jasin, provoked us into a brawl with the Bostopians near the halfway line. Lee Rofeld was caught by a flying Swartazian fist and was taken off to A&E with a broken nose. I would like to apologize to him for the team. This calmed things down a little, but the atmosphere was tremendous until the final whistle, with the right mix of the home fans ecstaticness, and the away fans resentment and agression.

Asbjörn looks like being out for a couple of games through the injury he sustained today, which is a big blow for the team. However, this win will give us great confidence when we fly out tomorrow to face Garimidia in a 3rd vs 8th clash.

---

Swartaz 1-0 Bostopia

[The Archregimancy]

Monastic Press Release

Concerning the Historical Events Described in the Codex Veganicus


As representatives from the Holy Synod Archregimancy are currently in Ordinary Reality due to last night's 1-0 victory over Ganjapolis, the Holy Synod and Monastic Football Association would like to take this opportunity to further discuss the historical events discussed in the Codex Veganicus as part of our ongoing human rights campaign End the Oppression of the One True Church; Recognise that the Vegan Orthodox Church Exists and Grant Them the Freedom to Interact With Other Orthodox Jurisdictions in Keeping with the Canons of the Seven Ecumenical Councils, Thereby Allowing the Appointment of New Priests, better known to some as E. T. O. O.T. O. T. C.; R. T. T. V. O. C. E. A. G. T. T. F. T. I. W. O. O. J. I. K. W. T. C. O. T. S. E. C., T. A. T. A. O. N. P!

It may be worth, at this juncture, to reiterate the main points of the Codex.

It describes the arrival of Saint Theophanes the Faster of the Vegan Near Caves and Apostle to the Vegans in what are now the Western mountain territories of the Draggonnii Socialist Empire some 350 years ago.

It then goes on to describe the miracles that Saint Theophanes wrought in converting the locals - then little more than primitive pagan tribespeople living in mountain caves - to Holy Orthodoxy. Particularly impressive is the miracle of the two mountains, whereby Saint Theophanes caused a single mountain to part in two so that the new Orthodox faithful could find their way to the isolated fertile mountain valley which remains the centre of their community.

Much of the rest of the Codex describes technical details of the conversion of neighbouring valleys to Orthodoxy, the growth of the community to the extent to which it could form a self-sustaining autonomous Orthodox episcopate across four bishoprics (though even the Codex concedes that the 'cities' of the community were little more than villages), the foundation of 40-50 monasteries (the precise number is hard to ascertain due to the Vegan Orthodox habit of naming some 60% of their monastic foundations after various Saints Theophanes), and the struggles of the community as the local climate slowly became dryer. The latter is indeed reflected in the physical fabric of the Codex, as revealed in recent research by Fr. Alexander the Archaeologist, which strongly suggests that the Codex cannot be wholly dismissed by the Vegan authorities as a mere fabrication.

The final entries of the Codex remain the most controversial.

These last pages describe an attack on the Orthodox communities some 150 years ago by a race of what are described as "short, swarthy, axe-wielding bearded demons" who "descend from the mountains, from whence the entrance to their hell-spawned home must lie". Most of the community that survived the first two attacks (except for two monasteries, one bishop, and one small village) were massacred after seeking protection in the very same Near Caves where Saint Theophanes once based himself. The final, deeply moving, sentences in the Codex read:

"We have barred the gates, but can not hold them for long. We can not get out. They have taken the Bridge and the Second Hall. Fr. Cyril and Fr. Eusebius and Fr. Irenaeus fell there. We cannot get out. The end comes. Drums, drums in the deep. They are coming."

We prayerfully suggest setting up a panel of international inquiry featuring representatives of the Holy Synod, Vegan scholarly institutions, and neutral international scholars to study these issues in more detail. While we firmly reject the statements of the Vegan authorities that the whole existence of the Vegan Orthodox Church is a fabrication (though we acknowledge and thank them for recognising the authenticity of the Codex itself), we note that the territories in question were not part of the Socialist Empire at the time, and that even though we call on the Empire's rulers to end the oppression of the Orthodox by acknowledging their continued existence to the present, they cannot in any way be held responsible for a massacre that did not occur within their territory at the time.

[Tynelia]

“Welcome back to ‘Scorelogy Today’ where Tynelia completed the series sweep of the 4th seed in the group Sibirsky severely damaging their hopes to qualify while being an important win for us to keep pace.”

“I agree totally Mal. This was a must win, especially given how all the other top 4 teams had matches against lower seeds and were expected to win. Also Toyer seems to have found its form moving into 5th place with a win today though they still trail us by 6 points. Basically tynelia can’t afford to give up any points to anyone from here on out if they want to qualify.”

“Which is a tough road to haul Sally. Trailing both Kelssek and Delaclava by 5 and 4 points we’re almost forced to win both matches in the second half against them in order to catch back up barring any unexpected slip ups on their end.”

“And speaking of slipping up, Tynelia next has to face the plucky Krieg Empire next, a team that beat us on their home field, but now has to come to the Heliodome here in the second half. With their penchant for low scoring matches we need to get on the board early in order to not drop any more points to the 255th ranked team in the world.”

“And the Imperials have continued to play well trailing us by only a couple points. I think the ferrets may have taken the team far too lightly the first time around expecting to cruise past them and concentrating on the teams ranked ahead of them, and it cost us in the first matchup.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen again Mal. The team has apparently finally gotten past their win-loss-win-loss rut of the first half going 2-1-0 in their last three including a draw with Toyer.”

“Though if they are keeping that routine going this match would fall on the loss end of things Sally.”

“Well I for one think the team has finally gotten its act together. I think we’re going to sneak away in another low scoring affair 1-0.”

“I’m not that confident sally. I think Krieg is going to a thorn in our side again and we manage a scoreless draw.”

“May the Lord of Scores forbid such a horrible result Mal.”

“I hope so too but like everyone else, we here at ‘Scorelogy Today’ is just going to have to wait and find out for ourselves. But before we go I’d like to leave everyone with a quote from the Book of Scores. ‘A man once asked. Is it better to score and lose than to never score at all? While the other replied, If the Lord of Scores deems your scores sufficiently pious then you shall not lose in the end, so always try to score and worry not about the present result.’ “

[Rejistania]

From the blog of Maritil Hitaril:

Orange-Blues concede, win

Stop the presses. The Orange-Blues played a rearkable match against the Free Swiss States and won 2:1. It was remarkable not only due to that scoreline. It was remarkable due to the tactic. The Orange-Blues did not play like a group of Karelans, they did fight, attack and win and for once, Sinkit I Landaxa appeared to be content. He expressed in his post-match interview that he for once saw the tactical orders implemented by the team instead of
gracefully interpreting them in the most hyperdefensive way possible. Maybe the fact that the substitute defenders got match time. It was an acceptable move against an opponent which had a mediocre-at-best attack. It was however good enough to 'ika a goal from a defensive messsup.

It was a good match. The team played attackingly, had many chances and were able to score two beautiful goals from it. The team did not show Hetaki Tekne (world class attack), it however did not seemingly exclusive thrive on counter-attack and standard situations. As a Takilan, I can only hope that this trend will persist further.

The Orange-Blues now reach a neutral goal balance, but of course, the next match against Sungai Pusat has the possibility to change that again. I can imagine a loss to happen since the 1:1 in the first leg was flattering.

[Milchama]

"Well we're not going to qualify again"

"Really why?"

"We're 9 points back, we suck and we haven't had a good performance in ages"

"So we still have half a campaign to make it up right?"

"Yeah but we just lost to Nanwe"

"Who's that?"

"1. Exactly 2. the last place team in the group"

"Oh"

"Yeah you see why we're not going to qualify"

"Yes"

"We're a mid table team with a glorious history"

"Oh great"

"Yep"

"It's just wonderful isn't it?"

"100%"

"Well can we at least win the CoH?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because we're not a top team anymore"

"Well we should be able to break at the CoH correct?"

"Oh absolutely"

"Good"

"We are going to be in the CoH right? Unlike last time"

"Yes because we care this time, unlike last time"

"Good"

"Yeah"

"Let's keep saying one word things"

"Ok"

"Great"

"Wonderful"

"Yep"

"Sure"

"Sweet"

"I can't do this any longer"

"Me neither"

"Margaret?"

"How about we just go with Come on you Warriors!"

"Sure"

"Come on you Warriors!"

"Come on you Warriors!"

[Mantwenic]

WC 53 News & Updates

A quick overview of the qualifying matches Mantwenic has played so far.

Mantwenic 1-0 Habsburg Yugoslavia
First match of WC 53 went as expected for the Mantwenic squad.
Mantwenic Goals: '44 Kurt Harrison

Mantwenic 1-0 Zirakul
Another expected performance from the Bobcats.
Mantwenic Goals: '31 Nathan Jenkins

Mantwenic 1-1 Aalnordhavn
A well fought battle to the end for both squads in this one.
Mantwenic Goals: '79 Patrick Hardy

Mantwenic 1-0 Eastfield Lodge
A exciting win for the Bobcats that put them high in the standings.
Mantwenic Goals: '45 Nathan Jenkins

Mantwenic 1-1 Sorthern Northland
A struggle for both squads, ends in a deadlock.
Mantwenic Goals: '57 Cedric Harriot

Mantwenic 0-2 Hanox
Not much to say about this one, Hanox outplayed the Bobcats.

Mantwenic 0-1 Pretty Awesome Persons
The Bobcats were outplayed for a second consecutive time finding themselves in fourth in the standings.

Mantwenic 3-1 Loonatarian
Mantwenic bested Loonatarian to pick up a much needed win.
Mantwenic Goals: '25, '78 Elliot Frenswich, '55 Peter Kramer

Mantwenic 1-0 West Zirconia
The Bobcats sustain and keep a solid third place in the standings with this win.
Mantwenic Goals: '30 John Sereb

Mantwenic 1-1 Habsburg Yugoslavia
The Bobcats remain in third in the standings with a draw with Habsburg.
Mantwenic Goals: '50 Stephan Greenwood

[Sarzonia]

The flight back from Sarzonia's latest match was silent.

The team didn't play well in a 1-0 victory over Slazenagara. The Stars offence was called offside eight times, including negating a brilliant Matt Lynch strike in the 43rd minute that otherwise would have been on highlight broadcasts the world over. Lynch would later tally the only goal of the match, but it was off a goalmouth scramble in the 68th minute.

Not only that, but a team known for classy play was whistled for 26 fouls and saw defender Ben Davis sent off in the 78th minute after a hard tackle. He argued the call to no avail, and the elderly Franz Braddock jumped off the bench to argue as well.

Davis's suspension for the next match would hurt, since the Stars are facing their highest ranked opponents at Dave Wilson Stadium. However, it wasn't Davis's ejection or the team's poor play that led to the silent stares in the direction of the cockpit. It was the match against the Pheonix.

"We know the stakes," Lynch said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. "We know Kazzoria are breathing down our necks. We know Valladares are only four points behind. It's going to be a tough match, and it's going to be doubly tough without Ben."

Braddock declined to comment about Davis's ejection after the match, saying "I don't want to get fined for saying what I think." He knew what the match would mean: Sarzonia's largest stadium packed to the gills with supporters of the Navy and Silver, and they would be deprived of watching the man known as their heart and soul playing an important qualifying match.

It wasn't how the Stars wanted the match to go, but they knew the next match would be vital.

[Pretty Awesome Persons]

News Studio of XNYN (Channel 1 News)
Daniel Stewart: Alright, apparently there is some breaking news, PAPMNT Head Coach Steven Sanchez has decided to do a surprise roster change. Fransisco Gonzalez has decided to join Jacob Ashley on bench against Loonaterian. He might play, but Gonzalez voluntarily told Sanchez he wants to be at least on the bench.

[Pasarga]

Results

[Jeruselem]

Lucy Sallad and her cousin Sam Sallad ...

Sam: We were lucky today.
Lucy: Nah, just wasteful.
Sam: How come we needed to win off a goal from Peppers.
Lucy: Got to tell her to use her head not her face.
Sam: She tries her hardest even if things she does aren't normal.
Lucy: I don't think she was expecting the ball, she's not the fastest thinker in the team.
Sam: Looked like a good goal even if it was rather accidental.
Lucy: It did go in the right direction.
Sam: Well, she works hard for her efforts even if she is a bit counterproductive at times.
Lucy: Yes, her backpassing needs work.
Sam: She also falls over a lot.
Lucy: Maybe she's used to being on her back more than normal.
Sam: God knows.
Lucy: How are the kids?
Sam: They are fine, although I wish my Henry would drink less while babysitting.
Lucy: Does he work?
Sam: He's a Jeru FC guy, he doesn't work even he supposed to be working.
Lucy: Oh yes.
Sam: He's alright, at least you can push him around without complaining.
Lucy: I guess he's conditioned to obey from the army.
Sam: I think he wants others to think for him.
Lucy: No brain, no pain.
Sam: Why are talking about dumb people today?
Lucy: Dunno.
Sam: Jeru FC are doing rather well, better than us.
Lucy: Maybe running out to play football drunk is a good idea.
Sam: If you want to halve your IQ by 30.
Lucy: I think they have a good coach.
Sam: Someone good with kids?
Lucy: I guess they are just big kids.
Sam: Too stupid to be trusted with real weapons?
Lucy: I guess the army need their trash to do something useful
Sam: Like annoy women and get them pregnant?
Lucy: Speak for yourself cuz, not me.
Sam: I suppose ...

(Late by ... nevermind)

[Aguazul]

La Verdad

Domestic coaches say honestly predictable things about the match

When asked for their opinion about the national football team's victory over Bergnovinaia, coaches of club sides said what, under the circumstances, you'd pretty much expect them to. "It was...good?" said Julio Becerril in a suitably patriotic way. "We won! And none of my players have been hurt. I mean, none of Aguazul's team was really hurt at all, which is good for their future chances, of course."

Sancho Alonso Noseda, of Alianza Ciruelas, the only club at all with a vested interest in the matter, also applauded the behavior of the visiting fans in the return to the site of their team's competitive debut. "I was glad to see them celebrate Andrew Roberts' goal in a respectful way, and grateful that they respected the structural integrity of Estadio Cinilago even after losing the game," he said, before grudgingly complimented both goals scored by Gunsedal Cisneros while still managing to derogate the attacker's style. Again. "I mean, yes, that was...quite an impressive display," he sighed, "but it's defense that wins championships, keep in mind, and I think we saw that on display with Marroquín and the back line. Those are the intangibles that Aguazul have got to take with them going forward. I have every confidence they can do this, of course."

The Pumas' Mariano Vasquez described the game as "fine, yeah, they're doing well, that's...great," and had the grace not even to dwell on the fact that Javier Cortez, from across San Pablo, played quite well in his start, scoring a goal. As anybody would do in his cleats, an irritated Vasquez began questioning again whether his side have actually been relegated from the first division or not, and when the situation would be resolved. No answers were immediately forthcoming.

Pelayo Sortani, for his part, praised Chago Villalobos, which happens all the time anyway; when you're a good defender but don't really score a lot, you need pundits to explain that you're doing well. Granted, Villalobos actually did score today. Sortani also announced that Tomás Ceballos and Claudio Albornos would start against Robsonien, with Gerardo Riquelme scooting to the left side of the midfield.

At press time, a couple outside pundits have been hauled in to give their opinions on the matter, and have instead praised Delaclava's record margin of victory for demonstrating to the world football community that wins by twelve are actually possible. No one is really surprised.

[Sarzonia]

Unlike the listless 1-0 victory that turned Stars players grim just before their return home to face Qazox, the 1-0 victory over the Pheonix showcased a completely different Stars side.

This time, Sarzonia dominated every facet of the match, holding possession 56 minutes to 34, firing 21 shots to Qazox's nine with eight shots on target to Qazox's two. Like the previous match, Matt Lynch's goal was the only one of this tilt in front of a sold out crowd of 105,900 at Dave Wilson Stadium. Unlike the last one, Lynch's breathtaking strike from just outside the box was the goal that counted.

"This match definitely feels a lot better than the last one did," Lynch said. "To have this dominant a performance without [defender Ben Davis] in the starting 11 was vital." Davis missed the match after drawing two yellow cards against Slazenagara.

The result marked the first time the Stars defeated the Pheonix in a match that counted. The two teams played to draws in each previous encounter, but this time, it was the Stars (8-2-1, 17 points, first place Group 7) who showcased a greater sense of urgency despite Qazox coming in nine points behind surprising Kazzoria for the second and final qualifying position in the group. The Pheonix dropped to 4-1-6, 13 points, good for seventh in the group.

Speaking of Kazzoria, unfancied Dutch Africa held the upstarts 1-1 in a home match to allow the Stars to move three points clear of Kazzoria for the group lead. Valladares kept pace with the Stars and cut Kazzoria's lead on the second spot to one point with a 3-0 win over Melki.

Sarzonia face Haginonia next. As for Qazox, their next opponent is Melki, which defeated the Pheonix in Qazox.

None of that mattered to the Stars as they finally broke out a celebration they'd kept under wraps the entire qualifying campaign: Matt Lynch's Guitar Hero set. It was time for the Blue Fox Ale and the rock music to flow in the spacious dressing room. Party time had finally arrived.

[Qazox]

QOXSports.com

SPONSORED BY: Burger Barn

Burger Barn: home of the Whipper, a half pound of Elk with Cream Cheese and Watercress with our special Elderberry Wine Sauce, now on sale for only Z7.98 ($3.99) for a limited time!

For one night only, QOX Sports has taken over the World Cup coverage, as QSPN is permabanned from Sarzonia thanks to the Ray Cyst gay-bashing fiasco a number of years ago.

It was not a good time for Qazox, as they were shut-out for the 2nd straight match; something that hasn't happened in over 50 years; on a goal from Matt Lynch was his name, we think; but trust us it was a nice shot from about 17 yards out.

Qazox is 10 points out of 2nd place now with only 7 more games left. Unless Kazzoria, Valladares or Kagdazka and Pazhujebu really stink over the next month or so, Qazox will be looking at back-to-back Cup of Harmony appearances for the first time since 1891 and 1895. A trip to Melki is next and perhaps a win there could spark the team back on track; but don't expect a trip to Parsaga or Somewhereistonia next year.

For continuing coverage of the remainder of Qazox' qualifying schedule, and match times please go to: Qazox_World Cup_53_qualifying/QSPN.com

[Jeru FC]

Mango: Hey guys, we got a visitor!
Willy: Girls? Sexy Bostopian girls?
Mango: Calm down Willy
Willy: So? Hey, she's underaged.
Mango: Yes she is. Don't you know who that is?
Willy: Not really!
Mango: That's our future leader.
Willy: Umm, I can't remember.
Mango: Princess Claire Isabella Dallas!
Willy: OH YES
Isabella: What's up with dumbass here?
Mango: Don't worry about him, he's got brain damage. More than usual.
Willy: Sorry Princess, I'm got bad memory.
Mango: Sorry about losing to Bostopia. Err, you've half-Qazian right?
Isabella: Yeah, fancy losing your first game to Bostopia when I'm around.
Mango: We're sorry, I guess they were the better team!
Isabella: You guys drunk already?
Willy: We started before the game started actually.
Isabella: Well, you did quite well for a team who started drinking before the game.
Willy: I think we had too much this time.
Mango: It's hard to know anyway.
Isabella: Come on fellas, Jeruselem won big today. I don't you slacking now.
Willy: We put in 190% ... if we can stand.
Mango: We handicap ourselves to be fair to the opposition.
Isabella: You just want to drink beer all day.
Willy: That too Princess. Want to join us?
Isabella: I'm under 16, I'm not allowed.
Mango: We started young too, we won't tell.
Willy: Yeah
Isabella: I don't want to end up like you lot ...
Mango: Good point there. Not that we're bad people.
Willy: We're alright
Isabella: Thanks for the offer but I'm Dallas. We don't behave well when we drink.
Mango: You're a lot smarter than us anyway

[Al-Mumtaz]

PHOENIX POST
The Holy Phoenix Strike Once Again!
Al-Mumtaz 4 - 1 Hockey Canada

Fauzan Kamil scored a pair of penalty kicks as Al-Mumtaz sink it's rival Hockey Canada with a 4-1 victory.

Hockey Canada substitute had canceled out Sanazza's first Al-Mumtaz goal to tie the game, but the home side crumbled within 30 seconds after the break.

After being fouled by defender, Fauzan converted from the penalty spot and the midfielder beat Hockey Canada goalkeeper again five minutes later when the goalkeeper brought down Senezza.

"He had a superstition to think that when a penalty is made on you not to take it," Al-Mumtaz coach Darko said. "But I tried to prove to him that that's solely based on fear. He realizes now that it was a bad superstition."

Sanazza ended any hopes of a Hockey Canada comeback by firing low past the goalkeeper in the 75th minute.

Al-Mumtaz went in front after 15 minutes when a flowing move down the left flank was completed by Kamil's cross being prodded into the net by Senezza - one of only two teenagers in the Arsenal team.

Darko saw his players overwhelm a Hockey Canada side struggling to get hold of the ball.

Hockey Canada rang in the changes came at half time, It took four minutes for them to make an impact, with through ball and a low shot, which went under Ahmed Jallal's arms.

But Ahmed kept Al-Mumtaz in the game to take the game. Before Fauzan scored 2 penalties and Sanazza scored the last goal.

In front 25,210 fans at home, Al-Mumtaz was owned the match even without the Central Midfielder, Qasim Amrullah, who got a red card at the previous match. Qasim Amrullah was replaced by Akheel Zauja, who shown a great performance.

The Next Match will be an away match again Free Soccer that we beat 1-0 on a home match.

[Khytenna]

World Cup result: The six Islands are back! 3-0

Unitopolis: 0

Khytenna: 3
Syd 44th
Firestone 65th, 78th

Khytenna’s win drought ended yesterday in style as the khytennan front two gave Khytenna the goals needed to gain the six islands first win in qualification against Unitopolis! The travelling fans couldn’t hid there delight at the end of the game as the celebrations started at the end whistle.

The game wasn’t as clear cut as the score line may suggest in the first half, khytenna’s defence was put under considerable pressure in the first half, and the home side was ruthless in their attack. There first realy chance at goal came from Niall Hunt, a pass from Hutsa found an unmarked Hunt, he made a shot but it was put wide by the keeper, Hunt Struck again in the following corner but the ball went over the cross bar. Unitopolis made some attempts at range in the 25 minute, Joliano saw an opertunity for a shot and took it, Gatton did well to get to ball for a great save, Unitopolis was looking for an easy win against a struggling side. Unitopolis best Change of the half came from another corner, the ball was crossed in by Loiano and was volleyed in by Corenhinho it hit the cross bar and bounced down before the line violently, Van Mur went in for a simple tap into goal but Gatton made an amazing dive to push to ball away, Testerman then cleared the ball away, Replays show that the ball was just saved before going over, of the line! A fantastic save by Gatton, who was having a great match. The tide was turned just before half time, a free kick about 39 yards away was crossed in by Thorne, a charging Syd got to end of it to rise above for a header the keeper made a charge also and was caught of his line the ball floated in to the back of the net for Khytenna’s first goal of the match. Syd knew it was a goal before it went in, and turned to Celebrate with his traditional raised fist in the air! The Khytennans were going wild! The first half ended 1-0 but khytenna now had the momentum going into second half.

Khytenna had that determined look in their eyes coming on to the feild for the second half, victory was in there sight for the first time in these qualifications and they wanted to take it. Unitopolis’ Nial Hunt made a good effort again to stop khytenna’s momentum, just outside the box Hunt had the ball, he made a sharpe turn to create a gap, he made a shot put it was just wide! Unitopolis still was in this game. Firestone would be Khytenna’s hero of the game, a quick free kick was taken for a Unitopolis offside, the ball went to Keogh-green who found firestone, he had pace with ball and got past Morrison in defence, he had thorne in support but he wasn’t needed, Firestone driving shot went across the goal mouth and just inside the left post for an awesome goal! Firestone couldn’t hide his delight, 2-0 the game now stood, with khytenna looking like nothing like the sorry side that played against Krytenia. Khytenna’s Deshazior nearly got a goal himself, a long shot was just pushed over in the 71st minute! Khytenna was pushing home for a goal to seal this game. It came again from the young blue bay striker, a corner was taken by Carmichael was given to Keogh-Green waiting outside the Box he then chipped the ball in where Firstone met the keeper in the air, Firestone’s header was all was needed to place the ball past Jason Paul and it went to the back of the net for khytenna’s 3rd!

When the whistle went, khytennan players where ecstatic! This was their first win in what has been a dreadful campaign so far! Head Coach Proctor made this statement at the end of the game “this is a important a great victory for us! We have been worked hard and it has finally paid off!! We did it!!”

Next Game!

Khytenna make no changes for there next game at home against the Islands of Qutar, can Khytenna get another win?

GK 1. Tim Gatton (28 Central FC)
RB 3. james Ursua (vice captain) (23 Blue bay)
LB 15. Oliver Testerman ( 22 Blue Bay)
DC 17. Nelson Bohannan(20 Kings’s District)
DC 23. Brian Bowman (19 Blue bay)
RM 7. Casey Thorne (capt) (26 Central FC)
LM 4. John Carmichael (21 Central FC)
CM 6. James Keogh –Green (20 Memorial City Eagles)
CAM12. Malik Deshazior (21 Percepi Sharks)
FW 9. Fergal Firestone (20 blue bay)
FW 10. Allan Syd (33 Xepthic reds)

Gatton

Testerman         Bohannan        Bowman        Ursua 

 Carmichael         Keogh-Green      Thorne (capt)

      Deshazior

     Syd               Firestone

[Khytenna]

sorry double post

[Sungai Pusat]

Joanne's Sports Radio Show

Topic: We are perhaps screwed..... At least for this round!

Ms Joanne: "Hi everyone! Today's radio episode has been brought to you by The Creative Industries Inc. If you got any product you think will work, present it to the Creative Industries Inc. Of course, if you can afford it yourself or you have one that does not need any money, just do it on the internet then!

Anyways, I said that today we will get three exclusive interviews, right? Also, I said that yesterday was the 1 November, Yr 100. Wrong info, at least for us. Today is still the 1 November, Yr 100. If you heard, latest news shows that due to a missing satellite, on those days, the time is extended by double. In the end, we have this. But according to a later report, it showed that it was just an artifical satellite to fit into the Earth calender.

Anyways, our radio show three exclusive interviewing will start with the scores: Rejistania today beat Sungai Pusat one to nil.

Next up right now is Eli Gerea, a socceer veteran, and she'll be telling us about the game on the field today."

Eli Gerea: "Well, I guess this should be expected. we have almost no experience on the field right now. So, yeah."

Ms Joanne: "Got anymore comments?"

Eli Gerea: "Nope! I am gonna say goodbye then."

Ms Joanne: 'OK, then. See ya soon!

Well, I guess I have to apologize because instead of the three here, we'll have to hve the other two in another two pisodes. Goodbye to you all!"

[Tynelia]

Oops. Scabs Survive

In what turned out to be a fiasco of epic proportions Tynelia's soccer team, so fired up to face and get revenge on the Kreig Empire at the Heliodome, forgot the minor detail that they were supposed to be in Estnorden to play that match instead. As the gametime neared and the Tynelian team had not arrived yet, Tynelian Soccer Federation official Guy Grant, called Coach Malloy to find out what was going on and to their mutual horror realized that the team was waiting at a still empty Heliodome wondering where everyone else was. Being over ten hours away from Estnorden, Grant knew he needed to do something to avoid a potentially qualifying attempt ending forfeit.

Fortunately Tynelian soccer fans travelled well and so Grant went into the crowd looking for the ever visible Tynelian towel and in a half hour managed to find fifteen people (including the legendary Al Bondy who once scored four goals in a single game back in high school) that, as a TSF official, he made official members of the Tynelian World Cup squad so that at least the team would lose on the playing field.

Taking over the role of Coach for the game Grant led this hodgepodge team onto the pitch and hoped for the best. To Grant's relief, he also had the good fortune to find high school senior phenom Brad Hollster, who was expected to have a good chance of making the team as a reserve keeper in WC 54, was at the game with his family, and managed to keep the team in the match with an adrenaline fueled insanely good match allowing only an early 12 minutes in goal for the home team before settling in. With the defense in tatters, it was only poor shooting by Estnorden that kept the made up Ferrets in the match. In the end, somehow, at minute 84 with the score still 1-0, a priest of the New Othydoxic Christian Church of Reborn Othydoxy named Harry Smith in his own words "I saw the ball heading my way when suddenly a great light appeared before me and the Lord of Scores spoke saying, 'If you kick this, you will score.' and so i did and the shot hit the post, but bounced off the back of the prone keeper after he dove and missed my shot and bounced into the net. All Praise the Lord of Scores!"

As time rn out, Tynelia had somehow managed to eek out a single point in a match they had been all but certain to lose. Now an extremely well rested team awaits The Kreig Empire at the Heliodome and several members of the TSF have been fired for their inability to read a schedule properly.

[Mytannion]

That is Five unbeaten!
INTERNATIONAL|1st NOVEMBER|SPORTS|by Vladimir Hyralov

Today, we came home to Mytannion. And got our biggest win of the campaign so far, with a two-nil victory over Robsonien. This means we have managed to get ourselves to a record, with five games unbeaten. Our overall record being five wins, one draw and five losses. So it is all perfectly symmetrical. Apart from the fact we remain in sixth, and on sixteen points. Two points behind our Rushmori rivals, Greater Cotswalds. But this doesn't matter now, we just need to continue doing what we are doing, and it should be a good tournament for us. Up next, we play Jesselton - who we lost to one-nil last time out - but we shall go into more detail about that later. And what the pro's and cons are from our last performance against them.

Our two goals, shows that our strikers finally seem to be coming together. With one each from Radoslaw Famoc and Laze v Tuhinju. The two of them working very well together against the Robsonien defence. The first goal, came courtesy of really well-worked free-kick. Which Robin Hjik took, he whipped it in from the wide-left. With a bit of pace, it curled over the wall, and past a few defenders. Where Joep Bang rose higher than the rest, and flicked it over the defenders. Right to the feet of Radoslaw Famoc, who happily tapped the ball into the bottom corner. He wheeled away in celebration, into a crowd of the Mytanar fans. Who were going wild, giving great praise to the players. Including a couple of great, witty chants.

The second goal, took a moment of pure brilliance from Laze v Tuhinju. The move started out with full-back, Jlo Sita. Laze v Tuhinju hovering out on the far-left at this time. Sita ran down the right wing, and the passed it forward to Hjik, who flicked it over the defence to Famoc. Who was outside the box, near the corner flag. Laze v Tuhinju, ran across the defence. The ball crossed into him, where v Tuhinju, chipped it up. And then volleyed it into the top corner. It was probably, one of the best goals - he has ever scored in his career - and he knew that himself. Running to the North Stand, where the Ultras sit (well...they don't sit, but stand throughout the whole game...but that is another story..). He slid on his knees and got greeted with a couple of fans running onto the pitch and mobbing him. Giving him great, big...hugs. Thankful for the joy he had brought to them.

With this win, we have gone five games unbeaten. And have to be one of the form sides in our group. Not that this will get us anywhere. But our position in our group - for a team that has just entered the Baptism of Fire a short time ago. And came out of that being knocked out early...to an unlucky goal. Now, we stand in sixth in our group. And only two points behind fifth and fourth (Greater Cotswalds and Tarrentum), and only three points behind third (Palatazze). So at the moment, we could even be in contention for qualifying for the World Cup. Although, this is doubtful - and it won't happen - Yes, I am saying, it will not happen, not this time anyway. Maybe in the next few attempts, but not the first time. But we have a chance for making a name for ourselves, and even position ourselves in fifth and fourth. Which would be brilliant for ourselves, and would be a great first attempt at the World Cup.

Anyway, enough dreaming. We next have Jesselton - an extremely good, skillful side. And everybody remembers what happened last time we played them.. What with the huge brawl, the eight yellow cards and two red cards. Donny Andri being punched, and then injuring one of our best players. And promptly being chucked out of the Jesselton squad. That might just be a media misconstrument. But if it is true. It isn't a good thing for his career. If he has managed to keep himself in his team, he will certainly get a warm welcome from the seventy-five thousand five hundred Mytanar fans packing into the General Jarko Arena. Of course, by 'warm' we mean hostile. And if he does play, he can certainly expect a few things being thrown at him. And it is even a wonder if any of the stewards will actually do anything to the people they see - if they do throw anything at him...

They are a good side, but we have a good chance to win. With our current form and the whole team firing, Jesselton could come croppers to our style of play. And the fact they are probably playing in one of the most hostile stadiums around the world. The atmosphere will certainly be heated, but good. So I say get yourself down to the Jarko. And try and get some tickets, if you haven't already gotten one.

Wolves, Wolves, Wolves!

[Kazzoria]

Dutch Africa 1-1 Kazzoria

The game was pretty crap for Kazzoria and by pretty we mean very. It was humiliating for us to draw to such a minor team. The fact is it should have been a comfortable win for us, end of story. In all honest it was an out and out disappointment, one that we haven't had in a long, long time. Maybe we can bounce back, in fact we will.

Ben, Harry and Jane went out to lunch. They were all very hungry after many late nights answering phone calls and watching out for the police. In they end the all had very little sleep and were completely out of energy and strength through and through. They all ordered a pizza and after 20 minutes of silent eating they realised they were full already after only half a pizza each.

Jarki had a plan. And a good one at that. Finn was also awake now and they agreed that they needed to escape at the next opportunity. They knew that the government would eventually have to clean up this place. When they did come the last place they would look was the shower. Then they would run and take the lift up. Then they would run further back to Indiargash and start a new life as Bob and Bill the gardeners. That way the government wouldn't track them down and kill them, because if they did they would have destroyed every last drop of that Indiargan pride. When the government nuclear clean-up team arrived, with pistols it must be note, they were ready for it. Finn got up and ran over to them bitch-slapping them and then they ran out towards the lift. They took it up to the ground with loads of people shouting "What the hells going on?" over they intercom. Soon enough though they were running away from Kazzoria towards the fabled city of Indiargash, where people don't ask too many questions of you.

Ben and Harry had heard the news, and they were excited. The first thing Jarki had done was text Jane to see if she had kept her number and was still alive. And she now realised he was. She was very excited about this and it was defiantly obvious to Harry "the relationships expert" that she was crushing on him very hard. Of course they were happy for her and excited about the two new members.

[Melkor Unchained]

Arda defeats Samos Islands 1-0, Wins 2^nd Straight

Arda continued their mastery over Samos Islands this afternoon, grinding out the exact kind of win coach Saadari says he's been looking for from this team. With the victory, Arda has now won back-to-back games for the first time in its qualifying run. "I've said it before, you won't get anywhere in a tournament without momentum," remarked Saadauri. "Winning games is not enough unless you can do it consistently. If your wins are always bracketed by draws or losses, it can bog you down in the middle of the group like we've been seeing with our team."

Both Saadauri and his players frequently reference the differences between playing the game in their home country and playing it not only at, but in the custom of other nations. From a strategic standpoint, this has required some juggling from Saadauri. "At first we thought we were going to have to go out there and outscore opponents. In the Baptism of Fire, we thought an emphasis on our forwards and attacking midfield was called for, as every indicator was that offense would be the focus of our game."

That's not the case anymore, as this qualifying campaign has shown. Even when losing to vastly higher-ranked opponents, the Ardans tend to give up few goals. Standout defender Anton Zwygart said he can't explain it. "It's just one of those things. Maybe because of how we play the game at home, our defenders are used to people taking more shots or driving to the box more often than they do in international play. Before we went into the Baptism of Fire, all we had to go off of was film. I guess it's just one of those things you don't really know for sure until you get out and actually play."

Next for Arda is a rematch against Achtervolging, which was a 1-1 draw the first time around. "I said after matchday nine that these next few games would be a big indicator for us. We really ran the gauntlet on matchdays eight and nine. Despite the losses I don't think we were especially awful, so I figured there was a good chance our team came out of those matches playing better football. For now, it seems they have."

When asked if he had any changes planned to his lineup, Saadauri was unusually quiet. Saadauri has quickly gained a reputation for being a straight shooter with the media, so signals seem to be mixed. "I'm not sure, maybe. I don't usually mess with success but I've seen a couple things in our games and in drilling that we might be able to work with. Since we're now into the 'rematch' phase of qualifying, I can see some benefits to a new look."

Whatever changes do or don't take place, Saadauri sounded confident about the next match. "We took care of [Hockey] Canada in a home rematch so I see no reason why we can't go two-for-two when Achtervolging comes knocking. We hope to give the fans plenty to cheer about."