World Cup 53 RP Thread

[Jesselton]

News deleted. No news is getting out of the Jesselton's border. Hail the new regime.

[Qazox]

Qazox_World Cup_53_qualifying/QSPN.com

Pheonix get 1st road victory with shutout.

Maybe changing coaches was what Qazox needed to do. They've won back-to-back matches now, after a 28th minute goal off the foot of Iona Laughlin; who was starting for Carla Johnson. Carla Johnson did not specifically explain why she sat out the match, but rumors from within the locker room claim she is pregnant. According to the same source, Ms. Johnson was in a relationship with former coach Ryan Percy and Brandine Dove was let go for attempting to blackmail both Carla Johnson and Ryan Percy about their affair. While nietehr Ryan Percy nor Carla Johnson have confirmed nor denied the affair, it could explain some of the strange decisions made over the past few months by Percy.

Up next Qazox travells to Haginonia, who are coming off a 3-1 loss to Valladares.

[Jesselton]

News deleted. No news is getting out of the Jesselton's border. Hail the new regime.

[Aguazul]

It should have been a good day.

Aguazul had won, after all. Cisneros had been benched, and Naike Leiva had scored a goal! There'd been plenty more; Dorantes' header, Aspe's long strike, and even a shot from Farfán's early in the second half, all elegant in their own ways. Oh, Palatazze had scored around half an hour in, but that was no matter; too ridiculous of scorelines were untoward, after all, and a single goal wasn't going to ruin anything.

Simply put, the Always Right Bautista Texidor should not have had to try so hard to refrain from yelling "You supernal idiot!" at a shameless Brother Manny, and not just because the conversation was in Spanish.

Manny had been so unwavering at first. Yes, he would be able to handle himself in the Dreamed Realm. Yes, he knew how to read. Yes, he knew what he was doing.

He'd claimed.

He didn't have anything with him when Bautista saw him, later, which Bautista had considered as a warning sign. "Did you get to the Codex?"

"Oh yes! Well, not all of it, bits and pieces, just enough."

"Oh? Well, tell me about it, what did you find?"

"I got to see some early pages, recording the ministry of Saint Theophanes the Faster of the Vegan Near Caves."

"Saint Theophanes?"

"Yes. Yes, he was named after Saint Theophanes the Confessor and Hymnographer, in whose honor he constructed one of the few surviving Vegan monasteries."

"Oh? Did he deliberately try and imitate the first St. Theophanes?"

"Why, yes! Just as the first Theophanes had meticulously recorded a chronicle of history, so too did Theophanes the Faster compile a chronicle of Vegan history."

"Excellent!" Texidor beamed. "So you checked Theophanes' chronicle against other, reputable records of Vegan history, in order to establish that the Codex was an accurate record of events?"

"Um...no."

"No?" Texidor's face fell. "...what did you do?"

The highly accurate and insightful conclusions of Brother Manny, who is totally neutral and therefore someone you can trust

From what I have examined of the Codex Veganicus, I am afraid to report that it is altogether far too true in its claims of an Orthodox community in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. In particular, I note that Saint Theophanes the Faster of the Vegan Near Caves and Apostle to the Vegans faithfully incorporated the Words of Institution into the liturgy observed by the Vegan church.

This is, obviously, a great cause for concern.

Among all the "va"s and "hath"s in the translation, it appears that Theophanes faithfully rendered the "this is my body" part. And, once the theological significance of the rite was made plain, nobody raised an eyebrow! It appears that these purported "Vegans" do not comprehend that they are consuming more than mere bread and wine. For surely if they were truly vegan, they would be greatly concerned about the act of eating flesh.

Thus, I respectfully submit that the Vegan Orthodox, who clearly exist, step aside from these quibbling notions of anathema and actually decide, straightaway, whether they shall be loyal to the Sacrament or their nation's backward dietary policy. I highly recommend the former.

[Jeruselem]

Sam Sallad speaking to Jeruselem coach Oksana "Pups" Ferris

Sam: Hi, this is Sam Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem. I'm talking to Pups here, the Jeruselem coach.
Pups: Hello everyone.
Sam: I'm not talking about our win or our crappy away form but about the turmoil in the Qazian world cup team with the sacking of coach Ryan Percy.
Pups: Well, it's not my place to judge what our Qazian friends do.
Sam: The coach Ryan Percy and player Carla Johnson were having an affair, something not unusual for a Jeruselemite.
Pups: Look, I'm the product of an affair between my mother Scarlett Ferris and the coach at the time. I can't say it's evil or good.
Sam: Well, our own Princess Helena is the same ... the then player Princess Marie and coach Ryan Greenly.
Pups: It might have had a bad effect on the Qazian team but in Jeruselem, it's a bit too normal.
Sam: And players sleeping with other players.
Pups: Yes, but the Dallas girls are like that.
Sam: Well, I'm a result of my mother sleeping around with a Jeru FC player.
Pups: Culturally maybe, in Jeruselem it's OK but maybe in Qazox ... being like Dazza Dallas isn't a good idea in some circumstances.
Pups: I think the affair was secret in the Qazian case. In Jeruselem, we're more honest about these things.
Sam: Maybe we're a bad influence on the Qazians?
Pups: Nah, these things happen. In Jeruselem, we're a bit more relaxed.
Sam: But sometimes secrecy is needed.
Pups: Yes but the truth will come out, one way or another.
Sam: We certainly can't lecture the Qazians about inappropiate relationships.
Pups: I know. But it's good to see the Qazians back winning games.
Sam: It is too late for them to fight back in a hard group
Pups: No, all they need is a few wins to get into the winning mentality.
Sam: Maybe this will make them stronger.
Pups: Well, maybe. There's always pain with gain.
Sam: Like childbirth.
Pups: You could say that.

[Al-Mumtaz]

PHOENIX POST
The Holy Phoenix Back on the Winning Track
Achtervolging 2 - 3 Al-Mumtaz

Mahmud managed to produce a rare smile in the few minutes after the sensational match against Achtervolging . In a game where Achtervolging was defending a 1-0 lead, The Holy Phoenix came storming back.

In the 82nd minute, Black Phoenix FC forward Sanazza Al-Mumtaz tied the game at 1-1 with a superb goal but only for Achtervolging to restore the lead with a 85th minute penalty. With the home supporter believing, they were home and dry, Al-Mumtaz struck back and in incredible fashion.

First, Izhar Syall tied the game at 2-2 in the 89th minute before another Black Phoenix FC player, Senezza stunned the Home Spectator faithful with a 90th minute winner! Holy Phoenix's coach Darko Mahmud was understandably over-joyed with the result.

"This was a dream scenario. I didn't think we had it in us physically to come back from 1-0 and then 2-1, but everybody delivered a fantastic performance.” "We had a funny feeling in our stomachs when they scored their penalty.

They obviously had their own chances to score more goals and they will undoubtedly feel they should have won the game, but we had our chances too and the players showed immense strength both mentally and physically.”

"They were frustrated at half time. I felt we stood our ground well and focused on our own game rather than worry about what they would do. They expectedly saw more of the ball but we didn't let it get to us. We played a fantastic game.”

" Very impressive performance from the Al-Mumtaz,” was the response from the Achtervolging's coach.

"According to the first reports we were getting, the score was 2-0 to the Achtervolging but that was quickly rectified. When we were told a few minutes later that Al-Mumtaz had pulled off a 3-2 win in away match, none of us believed it", said the Mark Mallway, one of Al-Mumtaz's football legend.

everybody then proceeded to get on their mobile phones to check and double-check the result. "Totally crazy. We were very surprised but impressed at the way the Holy Phoenix won it", Mark continued. The chairman of the Al-Mumtaz FA Lars Ahmad Laggers was woken from his sleep by a Phoenix Post journalist to let him know the result.

The chairman wasn't disappointed to be disturbed in his sleep when he heard the result.
"What did you say? Al-Mumtaz won? When I went to sleep, Achtervolging were winning", was his response to the news. "Its all good, I will always accept good news", was the response to the journalist's apology for disturbing his sleep.

With this win, Al-Mumtaz still at second place at group 14. The Next Match will be against Kulverint at Hall of Agility. Kulverint is placed 3rd, this will be a difficult match....

LET THE HOLY PHOENIX FLY AS HIGH AS HE CAN!!! BURN YOUR ENEMY TO ASHES!!!

[Sungai Pusat]

Sungai Pusat once again Defeated!

26 Oct, Yr 100

Sungai Pusat 0-3 Kryosis

Today, another unfortunate incident happened. The nation was once again defeated by another sports team, which is from Kryosis. Some of the comments from people here were like: "Boo!" and "U suck!" Unfortunately, a lot of sport critics say that right now. Another sad day is guranteed for the nation.

"We're screwed, everyone!" Comented Oliver Taliu. "WE'RE SCREWED!!!!!" He then passed out, before being sent to the medical tent located in the section for our team. "We needa get through this." says 31 year old Luika Tembe. "It is going to be day 7 soon and by then, if we do not get a considerably high rise in score, we'll be dead!"

"I am very, very sure that we may not be able to get in." Announced Mr Trotsky in his briefing to the team. "But what I want you all to remember is that no matter whether we're in the very last of the last or the very first of the first, we must always do our best. Lets go again! North, South, East, West, Sungai Pusat may be the Best!" Of course, the last part did not appeal so well to the team.

Well, that is all from the Sports News. Now, I will be gone to cry my heart out.

[Kulverint]

Kulverint get big win from Sargossa!

Kulverint were back at home for world cup qualifying action yesterday. The Stadia de la Kulverint in Derastüun was packed to the brim, fans excited by what could, potentially, be a very big game for Kulverint's qualifying campaign.

As the teams filed out, the fans went absolutely wild, cheering for their favourite men. Soon before the game, a massive chant began reverberating around the massive, concrete stadium. "Mil-ver-ki! Mil-ver-ki!"

As the game kicked off the noise at the Stadia was almost unbearable. Over 80,000 fans packed into the stadium, almost all of them in support of Kulverint, braving the harsh, early Autumn snow that had hit the city. The pitch was frosty, so any falls would hurt.

The game itself had begun quite quietly, and it took Kulverint much longer than usual to get going. Sargossa made a wonderful attempt at goal in the 5th minute, but it Junao Minniana was there to push it wide. The next action came from the crowd favourite, Janni Milverki. After Farné Dré@na made a stunning pass into him, he skipped through a couple of defenders, shot from just inside the box, and got a neat strike into the top right corner. 1-0. The Stadia de la Kulverint erupted in delight! The noise could probably have been heard throughout Derastüun! The 33rd minute had yealded a goal, and Kulverint finally looked like the team that had topped the group for the first couple of weeks! Indeed, just 8 minutes later, Janni Milverki struck again, scoring a lovely header from a corner. So into half time Kulverint were leading 2-0. A crowd who had desperately needed a win over a respectable team looked like getting it today. The record attendance figure was announced during half time, as 85,452 fans listened in.

Kulverint now went into the second half looking much more confident, and it took only a few minutes for another goal to be scored. Milverki got his hat trick through a beautiful chip over the keeper. 3-0. Tommi Jakinen was now thinking about games ahead, and decided to start bringing players off. Janni Milverki was taken off in the 78th minute, after a, quite frankly, stunning performance at this, his home stadium.

In the end there wasn't much action to be left with, and Kulverint came away with one of their best wins, and best performances in quite a long time. They should go into their next game, an away fixture to Al-Mumtaz, brimming with confidence.

---

Kulverint 3-0 Sargossa

[Kagdazka and Pazhujebu]

<jarring static sound>

"...and after falling as far back in the field as 29th in the sixth leg, Buzurbayev's dogsled team have reached the finish line first here in Gvardeysk. He will collect the enormous prize for victory in the Eastern Invitational..."

<generic three-toned jingle>

"This... is UIB 103."

“...yeah, you can leave that box there, but that you'll have to move the large one over there, the cords box has to go there. What? Oh, we're live? Oh, crap. Uh... hello, listeners, my name is Aghi Šigha’uthughu, this is the Peculiar Punter, thanks for listening, only national English-language sports radio, blah blah, you know the deal. If I'm a little distracted today, I apologize, we're in the process of... rearranging our studio... with a truck. Well, I suppose you'll want to hear about the recent action in World Cup qualifying, so let's get started right away.

“I'm not gonna lie, I don't the patience to go through the preamble today, Siddarth needs my help in the van in like five minutes. Just... don't gamble, ever.

“Okay, let’s get started!”

<quick (and tacky) whooshing sound effect>

“Who wants mail? Mail mail mail! Lots of letters... more than I had hoped for, actually. I'm pretty sure these have been sorted. But then we've all been busy packing all day... I mean... uh... packing for a... sports... convention. Anyway, I guess I'll just grab one randomly and see what happens.

"Okay, here we go! Suv Jarishkaši, who is from Mahathu, writes, 'Aghi, you've been all over the news lately because the Ministry of Justice recently subpoenaed you. Would you care to defend yourself against the allegations that it's connected to the Pkethat Hevnaje illegal gambling ring?'

<pause>

"Siddarth!! SIDDARTH!! Where are you, you son of a bitch; I told you specifically to sort through this mail! Siddarth you are gonna get it!! Oh, that's right, he's putting sound equipment in the moving tru- uh... I mean, maintenance van. Anyway... no, I don't care to comment, Suv! You jerk! Moving on...

“Next up is a letter from Oktyabrsk. Pyotr Kasheyev wants to know: ‘There’s been an obvious decline in form for the Urchins over the last two games. We made a mess of the Matchday 5 game at Haginonia; after Vazavorski got sent off we always looked like we would have to commit too many men forward to create goals. Then the last match, against Kazzoria, was even more of a shambles. We all knew that Ghur was going to look mortal at some point, and boy did he ever.'

“Pyotr, I think I can tell you who's to blame for the two losses, and I may get baked to death and eaten for saying this, but: Baba Yaga. It's Baba Yaga's fault. It was clear very early on that Vazavorski kept getting pinned back trying to mark his man, and he's not a natural defender, so he was throwing in irresponsible tackles the whole first half, and after he got booked once, he should have been pulled. But Babushka left him there. No surprise when he earned the red. Then, immediately after the dismissal, she makes two REALLY offensive substitutions. I mean, I know we needed the goal, and I know we got it, but... good lord, it was a massacre for the last twenty minutes. Just tactically not well executed.

"Then it became clear that against Kazzoria Ghur wouldn't be a suitable replacement for Vazavorski, I mean, why Semenov didn't play baffles me, but I digress. I agree with you as far as the Kazzoria game goes, I hate to say it, but Ghur just couldn't cut the mustard. The midfield in general looked very tired and lethargic, and I wouldn't say any of the three starters played well. I mean, where the hell is Zbruyev? He's in great form, we saw just a few games ago...

"So, moving on, here is one from Ghepiama Ka'atjat in Pkethat Šede. She says, ‘Nice job on the Silver Beach prediction, Aghi. They seem to be doing quite well over in Group 9. But I still don’t think they’ll qualify for the World Cup. I’ll call your bet. How does a friendly fifty rubliyal wager sound?’

<pause>

“Uh… yes, well. That was one of my… uh… best recommendations, there, as you can see. But… uh… I uh… I can’t accept that bet for… personal reasons. Which are good reasons. Anyway, we’re in a rush here, so I’d better just get right to my Matchday 7 predictions. Here they are.

Sarzonia v Kagdazka and Pazhujebu: Draw
Vjiay v Dutch Africa: Vjiay win
Kazzoria v Valladares: Draw
Melki v Slazenagara: Draw
Haginonia v Qazox: Draw

"You can’t go wrong putting some cash down on that draw versus Sarzonia. I mean, you think we’re out of form? Just check out the Stars! Buy that draw and then buy an art museum! You'll have the cash for it!

"Well, that's the end of the show, and not a moment too soon, I need to clean out my desk... uh... I mean... never mind. Anyway, I called UIB Legal right before the show and they told me I can't get out of reading you the following statement, so... just listen up I guess.

"UIB 103 does not condone the practice of gambling in any forms. It has been banned according to several edicts issued by the government, including Executive Orders 45 and 47. Punishments range from anywhere between 100,000 rubliyal fines to rehabilitation sentences upwards of thirty years for gross offenders. Gambling is an amoral act within and outside the Federation. Even persons who make major benefits from bets placed on offshore pirate casino boats in international waters may be prosecuted if their gains are determined to have afforded them unfair financial advantages over law-abiding citizens of the Federation.

"All right, I know my analysis was a little sketchy this week, and maybe you were hoping for more in depth predictions, but that'll have to wait for next week, I have to return all my past-due books to the library before I leave town... wait, I shouldn't have said that. Okay, gotta go! Peculiar Punter, signing off, yada yada, goodbye!

<generic three-toned jingle>

"This... is UIB 103."

3-1

KAGDAZKA AND PAZHUJEBU
3 DF Vaskaryev
4 ST Vuhumkara
5 DF Timriz
7 MF Nikolic
8 MF Qiva
9 ST Guvidhipa
12 ST Shcherbina
18 DF Mizirov
21 MF Vazavorski
22 DF Hu
23 GK Ichuvihaja

SUBSTITUTIONS
56’ MF #11 Semenov enters for DF #5 Timriz
56’ ST #19 Chadi enters for MF #8 Qiva
80’ ST #20 Omelchenko enters for MF #7 Nikolic

GOALS
Wilkshire (HGN) 9’
Shcherbina (KPZ) 64’
Sarcharga (HGN) 77’
Richter (HGN) 81’

CAUTIONS
Vazavorski (KPZ) 33’
Timriz (KPZ) 34’
al Haliti (HGN) 34’
van Kohmel (HGN) 40’
Nikolic (KPZ) 44’
Vazavorski (KPZ) 54’
Torres (HGN) 65’

EXPULSIONS
Vazavorski (KPZ) 54’

1-4

KAGDAZKA AND PAZHUJEBU
3 DF Vaskaryev
4 ST Vuhumkara
5 DF Timriz
7 MF Nikolic
8 MF Qiva
9 ST Guvidhipa
10 MF Ghur
12 ST Shcherbina
18 DF Mizirov
22 DF Hu
23 GK Ichuvihaja

SUBSTITUTIONS
57’ ST #20 Omelchenko enters for DF #5 Timriz
67’ ST #19 Chadi enters for ST #9 Guvidhipa
83’ ST #15 Khorkuleva enters for ST #12 Shcherbina

GOALS
Darrens (KAZ) 3’
Short (KAZ) 32’
Guvidhipa (KPZ) 38’
Tash (KAZ) 40’
Miller (KAZ) 55’

CAUTIONS
Linster (KAZ) 1’
Ghur (KPZ) 36’
Qiva (KPZ) 44’

EXPULSIONS

[The Archregimancy]

OOC - the quotes in this RP, unlike the previous one, are original material rather than recycled RP from the DI


"Another loss?"

"Yes."

"Against another team of barely ranked nobodies who seem to have no active participation in the tournament beyond signing up a team?"

"Yes."

"Truly, the Lord has seen fit to test us to the limits of our endurance this cup."

"I know, quite wonderful, isn't it?"

"Oh, absolutely. I spent five hours in a prayer of Thanksgiving last night."

"And the little issue with the Vegans?"

"A couple of advances there, Fr. Matthew. First of all, a 'Brother Manny' from Aguazul has independently authenticated the veracity of the Codex Veganicus."

"And thus the Vegans shall be revealed as the liars they are. God is merciful."

"Well, Brother Manny's methods are somewhat... unorthodox.... in a purely non-theological sense. So I'm not sure how convincing his evidence will be to the Vegans. But, on the other hand, we do have this....."

MONASTIC ARCHAEOLOGY
The Journal of Orthodox (and Orthodox) Archaeology

Volume 567 (2)

Some Notes on the Authenticity of the Codex Veganicus

Fr. Alexander the Archaeologist
Holy Monastery of The Patriarchal River Ford

Abstract

A series of tests were undertaken in order to establish whether or not the Codex Veganicus is an authentically Vegan record. The goal of the research was not to authenticate the veracity of the historical events recorded within the Codex, but rather to establish its age, and whether it was indeed made and written within what is currently the Draggonnii Socialist Empire. In addition to testing samples taken from the Codex itself, a pilot archaeological survey of the known surviving Orthodox settlements was undertaken in order to test the extent of the local archaeological record, and its relevance to the Vegan Orthodox Church.

"Fascinating, Fr. Simeon. And what does the paper tell us?"

"It's quite detailed - and perhaps a little dry for the layman, Fr. Matthew. But I shall skip straight to the conclusion, which you may find enlightening."

Conclusion

From these various programmes of analysis, we can reach the following conclusions:

The Codex is clearly an authentically old document. It has been written over the course of at least 250 years. This conclusion derives from:
A) Palaeographic evidence. The manuscript transitions from the Vegan uncial majuscule script of 350 years ago to - when it abruptly ends during the description of an attack against the community - the Vegan miniscule script common in the western territories of the Socialist Empire approximately 100 years ago. The dialect used is consistent throughout with the mountainous west of the Empire. Furthermore, the signature of Saint Theophanes the Faster of the Vegan Near Caves, present in the earliest pages of the Codex, is independently verified by documents in his home church prior to his missionary activity.
B) Pollen evidence. Pollen embedded in the earliest pages of the Codex are appropriate to the slightly wetter climate prevalent in the mountainous west of the Socialist Empire some 350 years ago.
C) Material evidence. The cloth cover of the Codex is woven in the uniquely Vegan 'star goddess' pattern common in the Vegan folk tradition some 350-300 years ago. This weaving pattern was wholly unique to the Vegan territories, and its use further suggests that the cover was woven by either a recent convert to Orthodox Christianity, or by a pagan Vegan interacting with the new Orthodox community.

The Codex is clearly an authentically Vegan document. This conclusion derives from:
A) Material evidence. The earliest pages of the Codex are comprised of the pulp of the Vegan Mountain Reed; this uniquely Vegan species is no longer found in the mountainous west, but was - as independently verified by Vegan biologists - was present in the region where the Orthodox monasteries are located in the wetter climate of 350 years ago. We have also previously noted the 'star goddess' pattern of the cover, a weaving technique unique to Vegan territory.

Furthermore, our pilot programme of archaeological survey has clearly demonstrated that Orthodox Christianity was known in the relevant region at the appropriate time, as demonstrated by the presence of one metal icon of the Theotokos and two Orthodox crucifixes found in a midden with a terminus post quem of 350 years before present, and a terminus ante quem of 300 before present - as demonstrated by the presence of Vegan iron oxide slipglazed refined redware, but the total absence of Vegan white saltglazed stoneware.

Our study cannot make any definitive statement about the veracity of the historical events described in the Codex - but there can be no doubt that the Codex is both authentically old, and authentically Vegan, and that the Vegan Orthodox Church is similarly authentically Vegan and of the appropriate antiquity.

[Kazzoria]

Kagdazka and Pazhujebu 1-4 Kazzoria

The result was a pleasant one, Kagdazka and Pazhujebu seem to be a good team and were sitting pretty until now. It was an exciting games and many people think that the first team will be on a great run of form inspired by the managers team talks. The game puts us now in second and with a very good chance of making it through to the world cup proper.

The school was now seriously worried. It was usual for kids to go missing, but Ben and Harry? They were always so down to earth and no one would have expected anything like this from them. They didn't look like they would be coming back now, it looked like some poor soul had been thrown out of his truck by them and their were reports of them in a small town in the middle of nowhere.

After what felt like years of travelling Ben and Harry had reached the sea. Now they had no idea of what they were going to do, but they were pretty sure that it would come to them soon enough. After lots of travelling they found themselves with a problem. One that they probably should have figured, fuel. They were out of fuel, they only had another 10 miles left and the GPS was saying around about another 80 miles to the big coastal city of Indiargash. It was home of the big football team Indiargash Athletic and Hedgehogs, maybe they could form a new football team or join one of those ones. They had no idea what to do, they didn't think it would be likely that there would be a petrol station close by. And they weren't going to go flat out to the coast wasting all their petrol. They had few options and they both knew they could spend hours arguing what to do, so in the end they flipped for it. And because of that flip a plan was made, they would dump the tangerines to save space and fuel and drive for as far as they could then they would hike the rest.

Jane Barracks landed in Indiargash ready for a hero's welcome. Instead they city looked a little bit more than dead. It was quite and all the "Independence through football" flags were gone. The football stadium was still their, but it no longer bore the bright Indiargan colours. Instead it was the hedgehogs colours hanging outside of it. She had no idea what was going on, but she intended to find out.

[Mossulia]

Louis Blog

1-0 win against Sibirsky. Rumours over the location of Margaret

Well the game wasn't expected. We managed, by some freak of nature to win. And if that wasn't impressive enough it was against a decent team; Sibirsky. Well Margaret must be on our side now, and Sibirsky must be cursing her guts. Oh well Margaret can be a little bit fickle, so lets just pray she stays with us 'till they end.

The first half was exceptionally dull. It was the usual ball stuck in midfield play that we're used too and play with. The fact is playing it like that means neither team scores and your heading for a dull, but useful draw. In they end Sibirsky was bored and that meant that we managed somehow to put on a 10 minute display of okay attacking football.

This carried on in the second half and in the end a lapse in their goalkeeping made Carshi score his first international goal. It was a great celebration for him and now he was ready for a draw. In the end though Sibirsky didn't score, tight and dull defensive game of football from us made that happen and in they end things weren't too bad for us.

Now for gossip. For once gossip is on the low, so the press as they do in low gossip times wiped some up. The latest in gossip is that Margaret is hiding in Gitsi's wardrobe giving her good luck by sacrificing rubber chickens to the random number gods. Of course it's a load of rubbish, but as usual I just had to tell you about it as it is my job.

Next we have Estnorden. For once we have glimmer of hope, but we shall see what happens. I can't promise you anything, because I can't that's just life live with it. I'm looking forward to playing them though.

[Eastfield Lodge]

The Sporting Gazette

OK. Hands up; who here bribed Margaret?

Six games in, and if you're a Eastfield Lodge fan, stop reading now. Throwing in the MSMT match against Sarzonia, the team so far have won one, drawn one and lost a grand total of 5. Yes, 5. And most of those losses came against teams ranked lower than us! Firstly, we must talk about the anything-but-heroic loss against Sarzonia (well, we didn't want to, but we'd lose our jobs then). They won 2-0, Matt Lynch getting both goals from headers from corners from parried shots by Aidan Jagger from Matt Lynch. Savvy?
The first qualifying match was a home fixture against Pretty Awesome Persons, World Cup newcomers and seen to be pushovers. They were anything but; as everyone who's been keeping track knows, we lost 2-0. Francisco Gonzalez played an instrumental part in both goals, scoring the first himself, and setting up Robert Figo for the second. The first half was dull and uneventful, with the decibel count rising due to the increasing number of boos ringing out from the EL crowd. The decibel-o-meter registered a high of 103 dB by half time, so one can imagine the disappointment and anger. By the end of the match, the count registered only slightly higher, at 106.5 dB, as people started chucking whatever they held at the players, one fan actually managing to get a needle to tear right through Shabeen Ahmad's leg. As for the goals, Gonzalez was set up by Louis Zizi, who managed to attract three players to is run, passed to Gonzalez who was in open space before he found the back of the open goal. Gonzalez crossed to Figo, who volleyed it into the roof of the net for the second. Shabeen Ahmad's leg now had a needle stuck in it, and this forced him out for the next 5 matches (coincidence?).
Next two matches were an away match against Aalnordhavn (a 1-1 draw) and an embarrassing 1-0 loss at home to Loonaterian. Both of whom decided not to give us a roster to work from. The only thing of note is that Sameer Ahmad scored a penalty in the 30th minute in the Aalnordhavn game. By this point, we were surprisingly not bottom of the table, as Hanox had lost all three games so far. Then we played Mantwenic away, and lost 1-0. And looking at the table, we were now bottom, as Hanox beat Zirakul. The fifth match was a lot better, as we beat West Zirconia 1-0 at home; Robert Andrews getting the goal late into second half stoppage time. Final game to report on was, you guessed it, a loss. But this time, a loss we can actually be proud of; 2-0 away to Sorthern Northland. A sign of things to come, maybe. Well, the recovery should start as Shabeen Amad III is fit to play again. We hope. In that match, the defence were very miserly, but at the cost that two free kicks were given away, and both were hammered home by Eulàlia Marxuach.
Anyways, the debacle of the opening six matches of qualifying will hopefully never return, but we now have a match against Habsburg Yugoslavia (oh joy!) at home, so we should win this (get ready for a loss of 5+ - 0).

It's not all bad, well actually it is, as the top three in our group are: Loonaterian (14pts), PAP (12 pts) and SN (11pts). And looking at the other groups, a similar story shall be told: Great Lenin (11pts) 2nd in Group 2, Osea-Tablya (10pts) 4th in Group 4, Western Cuba (13 pts) 3rd in Group 5, Kazzoria (13 pts) 2nd in Group 7, Kagdazka and Pazhujebu (12 pts) 3rd in Group 7, Silver Beac (15 pts) 2nd in Group 9, Tretskivucia (12 pts) 2nd in Group 12, Churchma (10 pts) 3rd in Group 12, Tarrentum (14 pts) 3rd in Group 13, Greater Cotswalds (10 pts) 4th in Group 13, Al-Mumtaz (15 pts) 2nd in Group 14, Sargossa (7 pts) 6th in Group 14, and finally our own colony, Westmeadow Tavern (10 pts) 3rd in Group 15 (heck they even beat Cassadaigua).

---

Team to play Habsburg Yugoslavia: Starting XI

Goal Tally WC53:
Sameer Ahmad:1
Robert Andrews: 1

[Akbarabad]

Tiger Eaters still languish in fourth place despite another home win.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): A routine 5-2 victory over visiting Realm of Light was not enough to wipe out the bad taste from our terrible 2-2 draw in Glynorhan, and still sees us stuck in fourth place in Group 9. Unbeaten Yafor II dropped points with a draw in bottom placed Waterlords but both Capitalizt SLANI and Silver Beach won their respective matches to maintain their two point lead over us. This state of affairs is even more galling considering that we had earlier thrashed 64th ranked Silver Beach 3-0 and they have no business being in the top two. They probably will be unable to maintain their position there however, as they have yet to face either Capitalizt SLANI or Yafor II

A trip to seventh placed Total n Utter Inanity is up next for the Tiger Eaters and an opportunity to belatedly register our first away win of the campaign. Considering that we have to play 6 away games in the second half of qualifying, it is of the utmost priority to demonstrate that we can play away from home from now on.


Akbarabad 5-2 Realm of Light
(Zahid Mohammed 4", 87" , Zohaib Khan 28", Samin Akbar 39", Rashid Hossain 65" ) (Unknown 17", Unknown 68")

[Cassadaigua]

Steffie’s Space

Well, we played to a nice victory last night over an ol’ thorn in our side. 6-2 in Iglesian Archipelago is certainly a result in which we are very happy with. Then we look at the other scores in the group and see that The Archregimancy lost again?! Is this group that competitive, or is there something seriously wrong with our Orthodox friends? They’ll work it out, as there are not many nations participating in this competition that would be on the good side of the heavenly powers of above. But, is The Archregimancy being punished by those very powers, and these losses are a message from the Lord that something needs to be corrected, perhaps something much deeper then actual tactics out there on the pitch? That’s a whole lot of deep thought that we don’t usually have in our team blogs, but you can’t help but think about those things. Hey, our football (gridiron) team is doing pretty good out there in Andossa se Mitrin Vega, too. Coach Alexander Pappas was very happy about that and seemed pretty happy about our gridiron team there doing well. Some people had wondered about his religion when I blogged about it before. Don’t really know why and I haven’t really asked, but when I went into his office to go over a tactic for the game with Iglesian Archipelago he had some kind of button in his room that said, “E. T. O. O.T. O. T. C.; R. T. T. V. O. C. E. A. G. T. T. F. T. I. W. O. O. J. I. K. W. T. C. O. T. S. E. C., T. A. T. A. O. N. P!” Don’t really know what that meant, just a very long acronym. I asked and he just said it was a long story.

So what to make of this game against The Archipelago? We got off to a great start, once again, and they soon found out that the chances of us going in their and sleepwalking through the game would actually be less then a group of Cassadagan supporters being welcomed into The Archregimancy. 6-2 the final, as we set the tone well. Rachel Thomas set the tone with two early goals, and we responded to their late first half goal in the 39th minute with a 42nd minute strike off the foot of Meghan Deforest. That had to be the back-breaker. Goals early in the second half by Cassie Dayton and Brianna Schaefer gave such a comfortable lead that their second goal was not going to have any impact on the game. Late in the match, substitute Shannon O’Hara got her name on the scoresheet as well. Time to go back home now, where a defensively-focused Aniporo awaits.

[Tarrentum]

Tarrentum Falcons Sporting News

The Tarrentum Falcons rediscovered their winning ways against Mytannion (yes they finally played them, despite all of the misinformation from this news source) last night at ESP Borgia Memorial Stadium in Napoliroma. The team played a gritty match against the Wolves of Mytannion. It was a match of defense. Made all the more hard with the injury to starting Mytannion goalkeeper Juri Juric in the 16th minute of play. Juric was diving for a blast from Henry Qund when he smacked into the goal post. It was an amateur mistake, one of those flukes of the sport, but Juric was down but conscious as the paramedics came to him. While the severity of Juric's injury is still not known at press time, the Wolves replacement - Jepg Imago - was just as stellar as the starter.

Imago's skill in the net was matched, and surpassed, by that of Raspu Tucadi. Tucadi, who has been one of the key players for Tarrentum this World Cup, shined once again by getting his fourth clean sheet of the tournament. Tucadi's play was spectacular but most Falcons players point to Tucadi's on-the-field strategy as being his best attribute. "Tucadi is an expert at setting up set pieces to defend against free kicks and the like," Stefano Nastromani told TFSN in an interview recently. Daestwegen Dlartanina espoused the same view as her young Midfielder. "Tucadi is a masterful strategist while out on the field. He is akin to the moon directing the tides: precise, methodical, reliable." Yet one cannot wonder why she didn't include 'never-failing' in that statement also?

Still, last night, Tucadi was never-failing. The rest of the Starting 11 were ramped up and ready to play as well. In a healthy scratch, Garto Nicolli started in Sadroni's stead with the captain band being give to Henry Qund for the night. Head Coach Delphine Italiana said in a post-game press conference that it was "all about rest" for Sadroni. This was evident throughout the night as, after a wonderful goal by Henry Qund in the 51st minute, Italiana made her three substitutions in rapid succession. First it was Rubinu Warti in for Qund (assuming Captain duties also). Then, five minutes later, Italiana substituted in "You Wish You Were that Cool" star Sarudi Julian for starting back Justinian Tremani. A mere three minutes after that, young Walri Castanella was put in for Judasi Kypa. The moves were all made for rest for tonight's game against Aguazul.

The win and three points kept Tarrentum as masters of their own destiny. It is still very early in the World Cup and there is a lot of football left to be played. But with the continued lackluster play by Landau Institute and the continued separation of the top three from the rest of the group, Tarrentum is poised to swoop into the true Group Stage (as it's been called by other national news outlets). Let's hope they can keep the pressure on the defense.

---

Profiles of Tarrentian Football
Henry Qund

Henry Qund (Pronounced 'Cooned') has led a magnificent life. He himself well tell you that. First, he was born into an impoverished area of Stroudsville, in the now defunct nation of Tarburr. Qund never knew his parents but remembers the matrons who ran the orphanage where he spent his early years. "I was only three or four when I left the orphanage, but I have vivid memories of some people." He was adopted by a well-off couple from Florentine and Qund excelled at school and sports. "My parents immediately saw some potential in me for football," Qund says with a huge smile. "I was the best thing for them, a beautiful boy who was going to let them live the easy life in their retirement!"

Qund began drawing attention at the age of 13 while playing on a traveling team. He caught the eye of Gregori Burindi when the 40th Armed Forces Brigade held a youth tournament at their military base. For those unfamiliar, up until several years ago, the Armed Forces of Tarrentum had their own separate football league apart from the civilian league in existence. The barriers were eventually removed so that the TPFL was formed. Burindi offered a commission to Qund right there as a Cadet so that Burindi could beging to groom the young star for the Napoliroma Legion. Yet Qund and his parents balked at Burindi's insistence on "paving the way," as Qund remembers his former Manager's exact words. They took their chances and kept Qund in traveling teams.

The young footballer eventually made it onto the top domestic travelling team where he put on a show for TPFL club scouts. At the age of 17 Qund signed with the Krozuy Academics. The rookie so enthralled the fans that he drew more and more media attention to football. Soon, the TSC recognized football as a Tier 1 sport (joining baseball and ice hockey) and the Supreme President and his family began to attend a lot of games in the state capitals (Napoliroma, Napole, Krozuy and Yui). The Supreme President was so impressed by Qund's skills that he bestowed full citizenship and birthright on the Tarburrite on Henry Qund's 21st birthday. Qund laughs now. "It was amazing. I mean, I already thought of myself as a Tarrentian, but now it was legal. I mean, who else other than Italiana's or the cabinet gets to have their 21st birthday at the National Palace?"

From there Qund's story only grows. He has been the key player for the National Team in all of its tournament appearances and this World Cup is no different. When you talk of Tarrentian football, you no longer talk about Burindi, but of Qund.

[Total n Utter Inanity]

"Didn't we just have this conversation?"

"Yeah, but the idiot who submits it to the WCC pressed the wrong button."

"Idiot."

"Yeah. So we have to have it again."

"Can we not save it for another time. Only then it means that we don't have to think of something original next time."

"When have we ever thought of something original?"

"Fair point."

"We lost to Capitalizt SLANI, by the way."

"Good. I like them. Hooray for them. Woop."

"Wow, I've never seen you so enthusistic."

"It doesn't happen very often."

"To be fair, I have never seen you before in my life."

"Who are you again?"

[Tynelia]

“Hello everyone and welcome to ‘Scorelogy Today’s’ post game recap and what a shocker for the home team. I’m Mal Waltman and with me is Sally Long. Incredible.

“That’s right Mal, the Tynelian home cooking that failed us against Kelssek took a trip to Delaclava as we finished with a furious rally late to blow past the undoubtedly shell shocked top seeds in the group Delaclava 3-1. A good bounce back game for the Ferrets after a disappointing one goal loss at home to the now group leading Kelssek squad the previous matchday.”

“It didn’t look so good early on as the home team attacked quickly and only 7 minutes into the match took a 1-0 lead on a Simon De Braden goal to get the crowd fired up. However both defenses stiffened up and the score stayed that way until minute 70 when Jay Masterson IV got the equalizer for the Ferrets. That goal woke up the team as they surprising didn’t play for the tie against the higher seed but went for the win despite being on the road.”

“It’s how the Lord of Scores would prefer it Mal.”

“Well naturally Sally but this was a bit of a change from Coach Malloy. It paid dividends when a miscommunication by the defenders left a gap in the line which Eric Daniels shot though and put the go ahead goal in only five minutes later. The home team tried to push back for the equalizer of their own and had the positional edge for the next ten minutes until a pass sent back to the center line to reset the attack got past the defender and an alert Bradley Canyon won the footrace to the ball and managed to just get it past the fingertips of the keeper who couldn’t quite deflect it far enough for the insurance goal at minute 86. This took the air out of the stadium and we held on for the big win.”

“That we did Mal, getting three points out of back to back matches with the top two seeds is always a plus. And after today’s results this group appears to be turning into a four team race now. Kelssek, as a result of our win takes over the top spot with 15 points, two ahead of Delaclava at 13 and three ahead of us with 12. The big surprise that no one would have guessed is not that the Kreig Empire is in fourth with ten points but that they are the last unbeaten team in the group. Someone could have won a lot of vinlis with that bet I’m thinking Mal.”

“Another shocker is the Toyer squad that bedeviled us so much last cup who we both expected to be among the qualifiers sits a distant 5th with 6 points, in a four way tie with far lower ranked teams. Now Tynelia returns home for back to back matches hoping this gets their home field advantage up and running again and we can get a few more wins to keep pace with the top seeds who I doubt will miss many more points as the group progresses given Toyer’s disappointing efforts to date.”

“With that in mind Mal I’m going with a 2-1 Tynelian win against Vescia.”

“I think it’ll be a 0-0 draw Sally. The team’s due for a letdown after this big upset. The biggest road win since we’ve returned to the cup in fact. But either way viewers you’ll hear about it here on ‘Scorelogy Today’ right after the game. So until then good night.”

[Bears Armed]

Marra’s Tale continues…


“The stream whose course we had been following ran through somewhat rough terrain, and we actually didn’t get a good sight of the ruins until after we’d rounded the last of the low ridges that lay across what would have been the most direct approach route… at which point we saw that the stream flowed out from a lake, set in bare rock, that formed a moat (naturally? Or maybe by the builders’ design?) along the side of the site that was now exposed to us. The ground around that pool’s rim bore a sparse covering of low vegetation, but there were no other signs of life. Set on a rocky outcrop beyond its dark waters loomed the walls of what we could now see had been maybe not a full ‘city’ but certainly more than a mere village or a castle, now broken down in many places not only by erosion over the passage of time but also — if we were interpreting the appearance of certain sections correctly — by outright attacks that had involved the application both of considerable force and of fire hot enough to melt the hard stone from which they had been built!
“We could see the tips of quite a few towers and spires protruding above the level of the wall’s top, some of them looking intact (at least at that distance…) but others obviously broken-off short, but no sign of any way across the lake. Errmintra o RedSun, who was still with us then — although, of course, she’s now gone back north to manage and play for the ‘NorthBears’ instead — pointed out the existence of several cracks in the rock on which the walls stood, that might even perhaps have the mouths of narrow tunnels, but rather than try to pass through the water -- something about the sight of which seemed eerily un-nerving to a number of our younger companions -- we decided to try going further around that dead town’s perimeter in the hope of finding a better entrance-point through its defences elsewhere.”



_______________________________________________

OOC: I acknowledge that various details within [one episode or another of] this story were inspired by, or even borrowed from, the works of H.P. Lovecraft, Robert E. Howard, Arthur C. Clarke (one line, that I expect you recognised anyway…), J.R.R. Tolkien, and Marvel Comics…

[Cotdelapoms]

Work Productivity Down Since World Cup Qualifying Began

ALBIONPOOL- Cotdelapomais employers are frustrated over the decline in productivity for their employees since the beginning of World Cup qualifying. Employees from coast to coast to land-border have been frustrated at following their team at all hours of the day and now dealing with some disappointing results.

The process began with a captivating 1-0 victory over the highly regarded Unitopolitans, who have struggled mightily in this tournament. The high point came at the home opener when they defeated the Islands of Qutar 4-2. A loss to Osea-Tablya, a close defeat to 5-time World Champs Starblaydia, a drab nil-nil draw with Khytenna and now a 2-1 loss to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega has been leaving people frustrated and heartbroken- leading to an uptick in time off requests and limited productivity whilst at work.

Sales data firm Stoke, Stoke, Stoke & D'Aoust reports that the already flimsy Cotdelapomais economy has lost out on about C$117 million in economic output thusfar in the rapid-fire qualifying process, between watching Cotdelapoms matches on TV and now with the addition of multiple sports programming television networks, other nations. In fact, television ratings show that fellow Rushmori nations Queer Poco el Mono Ara, Mytannion, Greater Cotswalds and also Valladares have been booms to networks.

The television networks do not make up a particularly large portion of our economy however, so our growth is slowing. "The average Cotdelapomais worker will spend 45-70 minutes of their work day discussing or reading about football during the coming weeks. That is somewhere in the ballpark of 15% of the day. Depending on how much time they already devote to other activities and how they devote their work day, that's a significant chunk of time to be losing out on. With so few jobs to go around to begin with, this is very frustrating for our GDP." said economist and Le Montréalais contributor Pierre-Marc St-Yves.

Humourist Axel Picard sees this as a positive, however. "Unemployment has gotten better, but it's still at about 14%. Think about how many jobs can be added covering for these people who need time off? Of course, I'm sure these people have so much free time that they're already very involved with the World Cup, but I bet they'd love an opportunity to bring a few dollars home through sitting in an office discussing the match rather than sitting at home discussing it on the phone, no?"

Perhaps thankfully for employers, Cotdelapoms' next match is on home soil against Nova Mercia. It will be broadcast on TV17 and Radio-Cotdelapoms tonight from 7:17 pm. Expect another loss to lead to further decreased productivity.

[Osarius]

AcademyDropout.osr | Blog

Been a while, huh? I did actually write a lot of stuff over the past few months, actually. Just never got around to posting it up, been busy with the academy side, preparing them for the start of the season and stuff. We entered the junior phoenix cup this year - the OFA never really publicise it, though - and got some great results, including a 3-1 win over the academy league all-stars. Speaking of good results... Hoooo boy. I kinda feel bad for Sierra Apathia. It was kinda bound to happen though, after that heart-breaking loss to Albundania. I mean, that late penalty... *sigh*

I really enjoyed watching the Sierra Apathia game though. Had to watch from home this time, but it was good football. Gabriel Russell is looking like Jermain Lewis mark two, for real! He absolutely dominated the middle of the park. I was happy to see Robin Deckford get some time on the pitch too, as well as Marvin Poulsen. Great Turic boys coming through at last! I was a little disappointed that guys like Suarez, Decker and Gremio arent likely to feature in the manager's plans, though. Gremio has been outstanding lately, while the other two have really done well for the under 21s.

Something that has surprised me during this qualifying campaign is that Calvin Harris has barely featured. I haven't heard anything about what's happening in the Commander's League over in Tyrrin, so I'm not sure how well he's been doing, but he can't have dropped off so much that he's barely getting a look in. Hasn't mattered much though, has it? I mean, Rene is playing brilliantly, and Keon Tinto is pushing him every step of the way. I'm also really impressed with the way the midfield is chipping in with more goals than they used to. That looks like something that's going to stay a part of Osarian teams for a while now. If we look at the attacking midfield talent in the country, and the way the team lines up these days, its so easy for them to arrive late and smash in goals, or to creep through and support the leading man. We're not even using wingers really anymore, but some kind of wide attacking midfield system. I'll probably blog about that another time though, when I have more time to properly analyse it. I don't really have time to blog as much as I used to.

Anyway, next up is TailsPrower at home, I know absolutely nothing about these guys, and while the media will definitely expect us to win, I'm not so sure. We've seen some shocking upsets in qualifying so far, and I'm the last guy to take anything for granted. Trust me. I'll be in the press box for that one, though, at Mount Crown Stadium, and I have a few extra tickets - the missus can't make it, she's off to Callistea for some modelling shoot (I can feel your jealous glares!), and my brother is out of the country with his other half - so, I'll have a competition. The tickets will actually get you access to the VIP area in the Aurumia Segment, and if you're lucky you might run into some of the OSN team and some celebs. So... How do you win? Shoot an email over to robycormega@academydropout.osr with the name of the all-time top scorer for Grasshoppers Turic F.C. Nice and easy, right? I'll draw three names who sent the right answer from a hat, and contact them. Then you just have to get to Burningham and you can pick your tickets up at the game!

Till next time, people!

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Amelia was pleased at the 3-0 victory over Jalanat. Finally, the team seemed to be returning to some semblance of quality (though she still didn't quite understand Una's explanation of just how they had managed to lose their last game without even taking the field; 'reifying potential realities after a pantochronometer glitch''? Just what did that mean?).

She had decided to reward herself on her post-match day off by browsing through the Imperial Library's unrivalled collection of inter-reality literature. She sometimes missed the Victorian poetry of her youth, and now had a rare opportunity to indulge a lost passion. She had once been quite fond of Christina Rossetti. She turned the page to one of her particular favourites, A Better Resurrection.

I have no wit, no words, no tears;
My heart within me like a stone
Is numb'd too much for hopes or fears;
Look right, look left, I play alone;
I lift mine eyes, but dimm'd with grief
No far opponent's goal I see;
My life is in the falling leaf:
O Tzimisces, quicken me.

This game is like a faded leaf,
My harvest dwindled to a husk:
Truly this game is void and brief
And tedious in the barren dusk;
This game is like a frozen thing,
No bud nor greenness can I see:
Yet rise it shall--the sap of Spring;
O Tzimsces, inspire me.

This is like a broken bowl,
A broken bowl that cannot hold
One drop of water for my soul
2-0 down now in the searching cold;
Cast in the goal the perish'd ball;
Melt and remould it, till it be
A royal cup for Him, my coach:
O Tzimisces, drink with me.

Somehow, Amelia thought, that didn't seem quite right. Perhaps some Matthew Arnold, then? She had always found his Growing Old most perceptive. She picked up the relevant book, and found the correct page.

What is it to grow old?
Is it to lose the glory of the form,
The lustre of the eye?
Is it for beauty to forego her wreath?
Yes, but we shall never know.

Is it to feel our strength -
Not our bloom only, but our strength -decay?
Is it to feel each limb
Grow stiffer, every function less exact,
Each nerve more weakly strung?

I am Tzimisces and would not know!
Ah, this eternal youth is what we dreamed 'twould be!
'Tis to never have our life
Mellowed and softened as with sunset-glow,
A golden day's decline!

'Tis to always see the world
As from a height, with rapt prophetic eyes,
And heart profoundly stirred;
And never weep, and feel the fulness of the past,
For years that are no more!

It is to never spend long days
Where we once feel that we were ever young.
It is not to add, immured
In the hot prison of the present, month
To month with weary pain.

It is to never suffer this,
And never feel but half, of what we feel:
Deep in our hidden heart
Festers the dull remembrance of a change,
But no emotion -none.

And so the mundies -last stage of all -
When they are frozen up within, and quite
The phantom of themselves,
They feel the Dreamed Realm like a hollow ghost
Which came from the immortal man.

No - that wasn't quite right either. In fact, the entire meaning seemed to have changed. But Tennyson.. Surely the Dreamed Realm couldn't have changed Tennyson? She flipped through the Poet Laureate's collected works, and alighted on the Charge of the Light Brigade.

Tzimisces to right of them,
Tzimisces to left of them,
Tzimisces in front of them
Volleyed and thundered
The ball with shot and shell.
Boldly he ran and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Leading the Dreamed Realm team.

Oh dear, she thought. She really wasn't in Bromley any more, was she?

[Rejistania]

From the blog of Maritil Hitaril:

Nil-Nil in Novikov

The match was a Karelan match if you have ever seen one. If you have not seen it, imagine Karela Lines playing Shetemai Divensi and if that means nothing to you, imagine the most defensive teams you know and then imagine them playing each other (if you are from Somewhereistonia and never saw Karela Lines play, imagine teams ten times more defensive than the most defensive ones you know). However, in this case, this was not a bad thing since it meant that fewer goals would be conceded. That in the end, the Orange-Blues secured one point from this match was the icing on the cake. The Novikovi are ranked higher than the Orange-Blues and that did show. However, Margaret or Lady Luck or Sekhikakansa or the Scorinator favored the away team. There were some close calls and at least once, Intika Kansu was very lucky that the ball did not go in.

For the next match, we need a big helping of uck as well, since the match is against the Babbage Islands. Let us just say that nominally, they are even better than Bears Armed and we conceded against them 3 goals already. I propose a glass of jeduni'het jeneseve (for all foreigners: whatever strong booze is available) for every conceded goal. It might not improve the match result, but you will be too drunk to care!

The result:
Novikov 0 - Rejistania 0

[Mytannion]

Another Loss, Starting to get worried..
INTERNATIONAL|26th OCTOBER|SPORTS|by Vladimir Hyralov

Well, we went into our game against Tarrentum. Not expecting much, half because we haven't won since match day one. Half because they are an extremely good football team. But we knew, that after a goal for the Tarrentians. We were going to be tied to our place at the bottom of our group. Tarrentum's stalwart, Henry Qund, scored a delightful goal for their side on the fifty-first minute. Delightful for the Tarrentian fans, not so delightful for our own people. Who paid good money to watch the game. We only have three more teams to play, before the halfway stage of qualifying. And it isn't looking all that rosy for us. With us being bottom of the group, with only three points. And our next three games, are against tough opposition. We still have to play Aguazul, the team top of our group, well, joint-top with Jesselton - who we know all about - and then play Landau Insitute, a team with a brilliant team. But are languishing in fifth in our group, somehow. Many newspapers and reporters are blaming 'Margaret'. Who is known to be a priestess, who wears all blue - and seems to like sacrificing big teams, and changing scorelines magically. They are blaming this 'Margaret', after many big nations seem to be lower in their groups - than they really should be.

Then, we have to play Western Caspia. A team I actually think we can beat, and we should they are eighth - but only thanks to a good start. They only have two points more than are own team. And that isn't a huge gap, which we should be able to breach pretty quickly. And if we look at it rationally, there are three teams in this group that we can possibly beat, Western Caspia, Palatazze and Bergnovinaia. That means nine points, and I also think that we could secure draws against Greater Cotswalds and Robsonien, if we have good games against them. That means eleven more points, which would stretch our total points to fourteen. Which at the moment - if we double everyone elses score (i.e the ones we lose against), we would end up around fifth or sixth. We couldn't be bothered working it out properly, so we guessed. This would stand us in good stead for the next few World Cups.

If we make better progress in the next few games, and the second half of qualifying. Then we will be a force to be reckoned with in the next World Cup. And a good showing in that one, would put us in contention for a possible qualification spot in World Cup 55. Well, we can dream. But it could be around four more World Cups before we actually qualify for our first World Cup proper. But if we can move upto sixth in this current World Cup qualification, and maybe even beat one of the big boys in our group. Would mean our co-efficient/ranking would skyrocket. And that would mean we do well in our next world cup, hopefully improving our position to around fifth, and move up a place every world cup...or something similiar.

Anyway, hopefully Mr. Theo Wekkler, can rouse the players into playing well for the next - does calculations - twelve games. And if we do well in these games, then we have had a good tournament. The target surely is to beat all the teams we think we can, Palatazze, Bergnovinaia and Western Caspia, being our main target. If we beat them, we have had a good tournament. If we don't, people may be calling for Wekkler's head...

Anyway, in an even worse occurence. Juri Juric, our first-choice goalkeeper. Has had a terrible injury - clashing against the post in the match versus Tarrentum. He collapsed on the pitch, and was just-about, conscious, by the time our physios got to him. He has sustained a mild concussion, through the night. And this means he will not play in our next three games, meaning Jepg Imago, will take the mantle of first choice goalkeeper. If he puts in some good performances, then he may even tie down the first choice position permanently. It is lucky, that he didn't receive an even worse injury, which could of been possible, with hitting his head on the goalpost. Luckily, this time, the referee blew the whistle, unlike in our last game, where the whistle wasn't blown. When he was injured, this time - he was far worse injured. And we had a whole lot better referee. Who blew this whistle.

I am belatedly, going to say - Come on the Wolves..

[Pretty Awesome Persons]

PAP Sports

Back on top!
After nations like Eastfield Lodge doubted PAP, PAP stuns Group 1 (and quite possibly the world) by being on the top of Group 1 most of the time.
Pretty Awesome Persons 1 (Gonzalez '41)
Aalnordhavn 0
Gonzalez scored his 7th goal in 6 games, officially making the mark on PAP football that Sanchez hoped for. Gonzalez has played a key role in PAP's qualification. Which is why we are going to dedicate this whole article to him. Of course, we can't continue without talking about the whole Inright-Brockovich scandal. Doctors have announced that (luckily,) Inright will be able to play in the World Cup. (Luckily,) Steven Sanchez realized that John Brockovich is a total klutz and is useless when it comes to competitive football. I mean honestly, whenever someone passed the ball to him, he would automatically lose it and he'd just smile. WHAT WAS SANCHEZ THINKING? Speculation is arising that Brockovich will be out of the roster and will be replaced by Hugo Mendoza, a very talented midfielder.
How Gonzalez scored:
28 yard goal
Now, time to talk about the star, Fransisco Gonzalez-

FRANSISCO GONZALEZ- #18
Age:23
Position:ST
Goals:7

Gonzalez during training with PAP
A combination of speed and ability, Steven Sanchez knew he was going to be a star when he saw him. Ever since he joined the PAP Youth Program at age 16, he received positive reports. After the disappointment of World Cup 51, Gonzalez reportedly told his parents, he was "...going to give Pretty Awesome Persons the glory they deserve."
His agility alone was enough to give him the advantage of being able to dribble out his opponents, and leave them eating their dust. Now, as a starter in the PAP national team, he has proven to be an excellent striker, along with Louis Zizi. Hopefully he can use his talent and leadership skills to bring PAP into the World Cup and maybe past the Second Round and beyond.