TEAM HAPILOPPER ROSTER, THE TL;DR VERSION:
Typical starters:
#1 - Billy Solomon - GK - Kicks Left
#2 - Lewis Pryor - DEF - Kicks Right
#3 - Ace Boone - DEF - Kicks Right
#4 - Jerold Dickman - DEF - Kicks Left
#5 - Nathan Ellis - DEF/Team Captain - Kicks Right
#6 - Maverick King - MID - Kicks Left
#7 - James Huddleston - MID - Kicks Right
#8 - Parker Mathis - MID - Kicks Left
#9 - Herb Northrop - MID - Kicks Left
#10 - Peter Robson - FWD - Kicks Right
#11 - Toby Bryson - FWD - Kicks Left
Most Likely to:
Score Goals: Bryson, Robson, Northrop
Take Set-Pieces: Robson, Mathis, Huddleston
Get into Card Trouble: Dickman, Ellis, King, Mathis, Pryor
Cheap shot someone: Dickman, Ellis
Cause an International Incident: Ellis
TEAM HAPILOPPERFull Nation Name: The Dominion of Hapilopper
Trigramme: HAP
Nickname: The Haps
Team Colors: Blue, Green and White
Info:Well, they did it. Team Hapilopper, last season, finally qualified for their first World Cup proper, and the attitude amongst Hapiloppians has come back in a big way for the first time in several years. The team, however, bears very little resemblance to those first Hapiloppian teams. Yeah, Dom Probst still leads the HFA. Thom Perkins is the head coach. His assistants, the eccentric Xannerian Myrone Rhule and defenseman Nathan Ellis, the spiritual leader of the team, have helped guide the team from where they were - a lightly-regarded team known more for its personal frustrations, to where they are now, a team that wants nothing more than to make it again in the World Cup, and this time go a little further than they went last year, when they were eliminated in the group stage.
Style Mod: +5My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:Choose my goalscorers: Yes
Godmod scoring events: TG me first, or ping me on the NS Sports Discord, and we'll talk about it
RP injuries to my players: Yes, but TG me if you want to do something serious
Godmod injuries to my players: TG me first, or ping me on the NS Sports Discord, and we'll talk about it
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Yes
Hand out red cards to my players: TG me first, or ping me on the NS Sports Discord, and we'll talk about it
Godmod other events: Yes, but TG me first
RP Coronavirus-related events: No. A RL pandemic does not exist in Hapilopper and Hapiloppians do not have it.
COACHING STAFF:HEAD COACH: Thom Perkins
ASSISTANT COACH: Nathan Ellis
ASSISTANT MANAGER: Myrone Rhule
GOALKEEPING COACH: Willy Stone
TRAINER: Marc James
TECHNICAL DIRECTOR: Jim McNeil
PHYSIO: Russ Oliver
Stadium:Capital Stadium, Hapilopper City, Hapilopper
Built: 1970 | Seating Capacity: 66,025 | Open-Air | Artificial Turf
(Pictured: Capital Stadium in gridiron configuration)Capital Stadium, Hapilopper's de facto national stadium, is the last of Hapilopper's classic cookie-cutter venues, used for a variety of applications, including the Hapilopper City Nationals baseball team, the Hapilopper National Baseball Team and is the home of Team Hapilopper. As is custom with cookie-cutter stadiums, the park is completely symmetrical and is surrounded by multiple decks of stands, typically filled with screaming fans when the home team is doing well. Back in the 1970s, the HC Nationals, and their vaunted "National Machine" dominated Hapiloppian baseball, and brought over four million fans through the turnstiles on six occasions. Hapiloppian fans have vowed to come to Capital Stadium in force for Team Hapilopper games. Typically, Hapiloppian fans, including the members of the "Traveling Thrashers" supporters group are among the wildest fans in sport, and promise to be exactly that for the World Cup. Expect to see fans dancing along to 1970s funk music, slamming drums as loudly as possible, waving their flags, and throwing streamers for every Hapiloppian goal.
Uniforms:On the top row, on left, is Team Hapilopper's normal kit, to be worn at most matches. On the right is Team Hapilopper's alternate jersey, to be worn against opponents TBD.
On the bottom row is the kit to be worn by Team Hapilopper goalkeepers.
THE PLAYERS:STARTING PLAYERS:#1 - BILLY SOLOMON | Goalkeeper | Age: 25 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @billy_solomon | Club: Hap City Highway Patrol
Style of Play: Sweeper Keeper | Speed: Slow | Physicality: Low | Attitude: Intense
The nerves are gone. Billy Solomon has gotten over those nerves of replacing Cooter Harris and has come into his own as one of the premier goalkeepers in Hapiloppian football. At 25 years old, he has a bright future ahead of him, especially given his newfound reputation as "the Hapiloppian goalkeeper that played in the World Cup." In domestic play for Highway Patrol, he's an efficient goalkeeper, averaging one goal per 120 minutes of play. Away from the pitch, he's the guy that shares those adorable cat pictures on social media. After all, he likes making people smile.
#2 - LEWIS PRYOR | Defenseman/Left Wingback | Age: 24 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @pryor60 | Club: The Soldiers of Hap City
Style of Play: Zone Defense | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Heavy | Attitude: Professional
Depending on who you talk to, Lewis Pryor is either a dirty asshole or a wonderful human being. That's because of his defensive play with Soldiers, playing a style of ball that is seen as "physical without going too far," and someone more than willing to get himself into card trouble to stop an offensive effort. Last year, possibly due to his national team play, Pryor gained some confidence, and with that, gained physicality, racking up 15 yellow cards and four red cards - three due to card accumulation and one straight red. Pryor donates $5,000 for each yellow card and $10,000 for each red card to a local children's hospital, in an effort to give back to the community.
#3 - ACE BOONE | Defenseman/Right Wingback | Age: 26 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: (none) | Club: Colonial Sile (Vilita)
Style of Play: Man-To-Man | Speed: Medium-Fast | Physicality: Moderate | Attitude: Antisocial
The insult king of Hapiloppian football, Ace Boone is hated amongst fellow Hapiloppian players for his ability to trash-talk and get under the skin of his opponents. More than a few people have likened him to one of those annoying jerks in high school that liked to get a rise out of people. Ace uses this to his advantage. He tries to get his opponents to do something stupid and get themselves in trouble. It nearly did in Ace's last game in the HFA - when a player for Garvinson threw a punch at him in anger. He got a red card. Ace did not.
#4 - JEROLD DICKMAN | Defenseman/Defensive Sweeper | Age: 22 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @JerryDMan | Club: Hap City Highway Patrol
Style of Play: Zone Defense | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Oh Hell Yes | Attitude: Asshole
Considered a "younger Nathan Ellis," Jerold Dickman has always been known for a bad attitude and an even worse style of play. Whether or not he has cleaned up his act, people still remember that night in Taeshan, during a Sporting World Cup match against Xanneria, when Dickman caused a massive bench-clearing brawl, getting himself kicked off the Under-18 team at the time. But he's these days a crucial part of the Team Hapilopper defense and has proudly spoken of his times "sitting under the learning tree" of Nathan Ellis. He says that has helped him grow into a good ballplayer, first and foremost.
#5 - NATHAN ELLIS | Defenseman/Centerback Stopper/Player-Coach | Age: 35 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @NateEllis | Club: (none)
Style of Play: Homicidal | Speed: Medium-Fast | Physicality: Oh Hell Yes | Attitude: A Father to his Men
The last player left from the legendary Baptism of Fire 70 squad, Nathan Ellis has evolved from being a homicidal maniac for the hell of it to a man that will stick up for his teammates - his kids, people say. Ellis has become a player-coach for the Hapiloppian squad and spends his time teaching them the ways of the game while advocating for each and every one of them. The old Nathan Ellis, who will just as soon kill you as he would go for the ball, is still there, but he's more measured. He's someone that'll take someone down if he feels like it's needed for the sake of the team and for the sake of winning.
#6 - MAVERICK KING | Midfielder | Age: 24 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @MavKing | Club: United Hampton Cities
Style of Play: Defensive | Speed: Medium | Physicality: Heavy | Attitude: Professional
With a name like "Maverick King," you probably have to think he got a lot of attention when he was in school. He probably heard it all the time from his classmates. "You're the Maverick King?" kids would ask. "You look like a fat chump to me!" All the jokes. All the nastiness. And Maverick King wanted to get past it. And then one day he snapped, body-slamming a bully to the ground. A teacher, concerned about what could happen, told Maverick to consider getting into soccer. And so he did, channeling his anger and frustration into soccer, being a better player, and getting in shape. He takes the heckling in stride and channels it to become a better footballer.
#7 - JAMES HUDDLESTON | Midfielder | Age: 25 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: (none) | Club: FC Buckridge
Style of Play: Defensive | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Moderate | Attitude: Determined
James Huddleston, known more as "Jimmy" these days, especially among his teammates, has developed himself into a prominent midfielder within the Hapiloppian system and with FC Buckridge. He can serve as a good dual threat either on offense or defense. But he's strangely known, more than anything else, for what he listens to in his spare time. You see, Huddleston is the son of Greg Huddleston, the long-time chief announcer for the HASCAR Radio Network, and Jimmy loves listening to old radio broadcasts of HASCAR and NSSCRA races. To each their own, I guess.
#8 - PARKER MATHIS | Midfielder | Age: 21 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @HAPFirstDude | Club: Lakiska SC (Banija)
Style of Play: Defensive | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Heavy | Attitude: Intense
Want a good controversy with your morning coffee? How about Parker Mathis, the son of Hapiloppian President William Mathis, called up to a starting role on Team Hapilopper? It's one of the very, very few roster changes that Thom Perkins and his staff have made between the last AOCAF and this World Cup campaign. The move was spearheaded by player-coach Nathan Ellis, who insisted that Parker had shown him some things that other players hadn't, and that Parker had truly earned the spot. However, many wonder if this may have been a way to get William Mathis off their back after the Hapiloppian President protested his son playing elsewhere. We'll see if he truly earned his spot.
#9 - HERB NORTHROP | Midfielder | Age: 24 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @herb_northrop | Club: FC Buckridge
Style of Play: Offensive | Speed: Medium-Fast | Physicality: Normal | Attitude: Professional
Herbert Northrop, one of many, many players from Hapilopper's infamous Sporting World Cup teams, is one of the most spiritual members of a Hapiloppian football team that has existed. A graduate of Southland Christian Academy in Buckridge, Northrop makes sure to say a prayer before he hits the pitch, and when he scores a goal, he drops to one knee and says a prayer to the Good Lord Above for allowing him to score a goal. You won't see Northrop pulling off cheap shots like Jerold Dickman, and you won't see him attempting to end someone's career (or life) like Nathan Ellis. That's not what he does. Instead, he tries to play as professionally as he can, as cleanly as he can, as effectively as he can. And his style is quite effective, leading the Hapiloppian League in midfielder goals last year with 12.
#10 - PETER ROBSON | Forward | Age: 24 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @PeteRobson | Club: FC Surrey
Style of Play: Creative | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Low | Attitude: Professional
You know why coaches like Pete Robson so much? It's because he doesn't really care about the window dressing, the issues plaguing his teams or what's going on in sport in Surrey. He's even said that since it doesn't affect him, he doesn't worry about it. Instead, he goes out there, plays his role as forward very well - last year scoring 34 goals with FC Surrey - and then goes out and does his thing. And while he's a party animal - a member of the infamous Surrey party group "The Asskickers," he's not the kind of person to get in trouble with the law for something egregious. Sure, he was arrested a few weeks ago for vandalism after building a water slide in a hallway of a dormitory at Surrey Perimeter, but coaches don't mind that. He ain't hurting nobody.
#11 - TOBY BRYSON | Forward | Age: 23 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @tobyb90 | Club: The Soldiers of Hapilopper City
Style of Play: Straightforward | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Low | Attitude: Relaxed
The man in the Ernie Stevenson role, Toby Bryson has adapted to the position quite well. He doesn't pull off the "hop-skip-holy shit" goals that his predecessor was able to perform, but that's not what Toby does. He doesn't go for style points, he goes for goals, and that's that. While there had been pressure at the start of the run over concerns that Toby wouldn't be able to match up to Ernie Stevenson, many pitsiders have agreed that Toby is his own man and he'll still get those goals scored, just in his own specific way and in his own style. He doesn't need to be Ernie, he contends. He needs to be himself. Away from the pitch, Toby has gained positive attention for his work helping out in the soup kitchens in the southside of Hapilopper City.
RESERVES:#12 - MORRIS JAMISON | Forward | Age: 23 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @jamisonmo | Club: Hap City Highway Patrol
Style of Play: Scrappy | Speed: Fast | Physicality: High | Attitude: Antisocial
Morris Jamison is getting restless. The top reserve foward in Hapiloppian football, Jamison has grown tired of seeing Bryson and Robson in the starting roles - and in fact, he shows this on his twii.tur account, where he uses the user name "Morris the Benchwarmer". He doesn't like talking to the media, doesn't like signing autographs, and doesn't like doing anything but bettering his game. He prides himself on scrapping for everything he's had. He'll spend all-nighters on the field at Conrad Saylor High School, his alma mater, practicing moves and shots. All he wants to do is become a regular starter on the national team squad.
#13 - ELIAS MOON | Forward | Age: 23 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @eliasmoon | Club: Rammsissil (Vilita)
Style of Play: Creative | Speed: Medium | Physicality: Low | Attitude: Creative
On the other hand, Elias Moon is just happy to be here. Since barely making the SWC squad a few years ago, Moon has made a living on trying out as many trick shots on goal as he can. He wants to be just like Ernie Stevenson, although without the other parts of Ernie Stevenson. In other words, he's a trick-shot artist and that's it. His videos of trick shots have gone viral on social media, like, most recently, a goal scored from the back of a moving minivan circling around the pitch of Capital Stadium, a stunt that impressed both Hapiloppian fans and angered the Hapilopper National Baseball Team after it led to some damage to the artificial turf at the stadium. His skill has led him to be signed by Rammsissil, a Vilitan squad. It'll be interesting to see how Elias does elsewhere.
#20 - KERRY SPALDING | Midfielder | Age: 24 | Mental Age: 6 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @k-spalding | Club: Raceway FC
Style of Play: Offensive | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Rough | Attitude: Moron
Perpetuating the unfortunate stereotype that Hapiloppians in general are fun-loving morons with no ability to see that what they're doing is, well, stupid, Kerry Spalding plays for Team Hapilopper when he's not making headlines for doing really stupid things, like running down a lane of a bowling alley and trying to score a strike from point blank range, or accidentally electrocuting himself after punching a bug zapper. If TJUN-ia's controversial "MemeWatch" was a thing in international football, Kerry Spalding would pepper the list.
#21 - PIERS ADCOCK | Midfielder | Age: 22 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: (none) | Club: Peoria FC
Style of Play: Defensive | Speed: Medium | Physicality: Yeah, it's there alright | Attitude: Asshole
Unfortunately, Piers Adcock is still a raging asshole. He likes to think he's been kept on the bench because the other players are jealous of him. Nathan Ellis says he's been kept on the bench because Piers is so full of his own shit, and he's seriously considered "laying him low" to take care of his attitude. How bad is it? Before a training session leading up to the start of World Cup 89, Piers marched into the locker room and declared "the future of Hapiloppian football has just arrived, and that future is me!" He's lucky Nate Ellis didn't go over and pop him in the mouth. He is not liked among his teammates due to his attitude, and eventually something's got to give.
#22 - RUFUS HARTLEY | Midfielder | Age: 23 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @r-p-hartley | Club: Pinkerton City SC
Style of Play: Offensive | Speed: Fast | Physicality: He's named Rufus, what do you expect | Attitude: Brawler
Just so you know, Rufus Parnell Hartley is a nice guy. He'll be the first donating at church. He tips well at restaurants. He helps at the soup kitchen if needed. But on the field, he's one of those guys that will get into a brawl on the pitch if someone wrongs him. He'll drop a player with the kind of tackle that makes Nathan Ellis wish he had pulled that on Alexis Fotellis. But he'll also score goals if needed, scoring nine last year for Pinkerton. He'll be a dominating presence on the offensive side of the pitch, making other players bend to his will, by force if need be. Away from the pitch, Hartley's family owns dozens of Jane's Diner franchises all around the Pinkerton area, to the point where some have called Hartley "the heir to the all-night diner".
#23 - ORAL ROUNDTREE | Midfielder | Age: 23 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @roundtree25 | Club: Mliona-Lpaka (Turori)
Style of Play: Hybrid | Speed: Medium | Physicality: Moderate | Attitude: Professional
So imagine going through life with the name "Oral." Poor Oral's parents had nine months and they came up with Oral. His classmates had a field day with that name. That was, until he started playing football. There's a story that goes around Michael Bell High in North Hampton about how a student in a physical education class had spent the entire day getting on Oral's case about his name, with all of THOSE jokes. Once they got onto the soccer pitch, that student stopped making those jokes. Oral had nutmegged him and made him look like a complete idiot. And that's what he does. He doesn't let the jokes bother him, he just gets the job done and turns the jokers into the jokes like he's always done. These days, he plays for Mliona-Lpaka, a side in Turori, and there he hopes the Turorians won't put two and two together with his name.
#24 - WILLIAM ALTENBERRY | Midfielder | Age: 24 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @William_Altenberry | Club: Pinkerton City SC
Style of Play: Offensive | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Heavy | Attitude: Friendly
Poor William Altenberry. Last year, Altenberry was a solid starter on Team Hapilopper, being one of the prominent pieces in the team's midfield. But controversially, Altenberry was relegated to a bench role for this World Cup campaign in favor of Parker Mathis, the son of the President of Hapilopper. While Altenberry was understandably disappointed with it, he has taken the move in stride, refusing to badmouth the team or their coaches for the move. Instead, he has vowed to make them change their mind, and do that through his play. Very dedicated to the Pinkerton community, and is heavily involved with his church there.
#30 - FABIAN TRELOAR | Defenseman | Age: 23 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @treloar | Club: Pinkerton City SC
Style of Play: Zone Defense | Speed: Medium | Physicality: Not enough | Attitude: Friendly
So, just for one second, close your eyes and picture in your mind the first thing that comes through your mind when we say "Fabian Treloar." What did he look like? The kind of pretty male that appears on the front of those weird-ass romance novels they sell in supermarkets? That would be incorrect. This guy's got a dingy dark mullet, he's a little chubby, and he's far from the kind of person that ladies dream of. He reads comic books and streams video games. On the pitch, though, Fabian can stop an offensive from the middle, and when he does, he does it very efficently. He's not a cheap bastard about it, he's just efficent. If he gets a card, it's by total accident. Many suggest he has a bright future ahead, but it wouldn't hurt him to get a little more physical, a little dirtier, and quite frankly, there's no shame in getting a card or two. In Hapilopper, it's to be expected.
#31 - QUINTIN MONTAGUE | Defenseman | Age: 23 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @q-mont18 | Club: Garvinson Trojans
Style of Play: Man-To-Man | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Moderate | Attitude: Professional
Here's a reader. Quintin Montague is one of the biggest readers in Hapiloppian sport. He'll read anything. He'll read an offensive effort. He'll read the Garvinson Picayune. He'll read the lips of a fan in the 17th row. He'll read all the latest popular novels released in Hapilopper. He'll try to read a midfielder's mind as they're racing down the pitch. And he'll read the playbooks ad nauseam. That's a good attitude to have, and it's a good trait. But what Montague doesn't have is that killer instinct to be a regular starter, at least, not yet. He's been psyched out by opposing players a little too much for Team Hapilopper's liking. Members of the coaching staff are working on this, though. How they're working on it, well, watch this space. It might involve Nathan Ellis and some drill sergeant tactics, which sounds a little frightening on its face.
#32 - ASHLEY STANFORD | Defenseman | Age: 24 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: @stanford-the-kicker | Club: Border City United
Style of Play: Zone Defense | Speed: Fast | Physicality: Oh Hell Yeah | Attitude: Ruthless
The second woman to make it to a Hapilopper national football team, Ashley Stanford is not here to look pretty, nor is she here to make friends with anyone. She's here to kick some ass, and with Border City United two years ago, she did exactly that, famously breaking the collarbone of UHC striker Shelley Linwood with a cheap shot clothesline as he was on his way to bring a goal into the back of the net. And she didn't give two shits. When asked after the game if she had any remorse for breaking his collarbone, her response was simple: "I'm not paid to think about that. He shouldn't have come up to goal. My job is to stop him." With that kind of attitude, it's wondered if she'll take the Nate Ellis role after he retires from play, whenever that is.
#33 - LEVI BATESON | Defenseman | Age: 22 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @levi_bateson | Club: West Hampton Sports Club
Style of Play: Man-To-Man | Speed: Medium | Physicality: Sufficient | Attitude: Relaxed
Known more for his prowess on the saxophone than his prowess on the pitch, Levi Bateson nevertheless gets by with his play for the West Hampton Sports Club, which, before you get any ideas, is more than enough to stop an offensive effort if need be. Some suggest that Bateson's style of play is a throwback to the pre-World Cup days, when Hapiloppian footballers would play a more relaxed style of football. That's not a compliment. It's removed from the hair-on-fire, balls-to-the-wall style of play that has developed since Hapilopper started playing international football. Either way, he's still good at it, good enough to make the national team. As for his saxophone prowess, it's magnificent. Bateson plays for a band that tours across the Hampton Cities, and his saxophone solos are among the most popular parts of their concerts.
#60 - KENNY SHELLEY | Goalkeeper | Age: 23 | Kicks: Right | twii.tur: (none) | Club: FC Surrey
Style of Play: Roving Keeper | Speed: Medium | Physicality: Low | Attitude: Excitable
Kenny Shelley will be the first to tell you that he's not expecting much in the way of playing time. He's a servicable keeper for FC Surrey, but good enough to get an assignment on the national team. He's averaged around 97 minutes per goal allowed, which is good, but not great. Many suggest that his best days are well ahead of him, as with most of the Hapiloppian team. Could he be another Cooter Harris? It's hard to say. At least he has the persona down pat. Shelley drives a 1986 Major pick-up truck, a truck he's had since high school. He's carried everything from lumber to dirt to his girlfriend in the back of that truck, and it's likely he loves that truck more than life itself.
#90 - DUKE STAMP | Goalkeeper | Age: 22 | Kicks: Left | twii.tur: @stamperHAP | Club: Cednia Beach AFC (Turori)
Style of Play: Traditional | Speed: Slow | Physicality: Low | Attitude: Moron
By now, you've seen the videos by now, or at least, we hope you've seen the videos. Duke Stamp decided one day to try out the concept of automotive buoyancy. So he drove his car as fast as he could into the pool of one of his teammates. The car went right in the pool and proved the theory that automotive buoyancy, for the most part, is total bullshit. Worse, it was a $65,000 Preston Super Skychief that he had just bought off the dealership floor, a car that had 25 miles on it. So Duke Stamp wound up ruining a brand new, very nice car just to try out this idiotic theory that cars can float. On the pitch, Stamp is an efficient goalkeeper, averaging 125 minutes per goal allowed, but he's relegated to keeper no. 3 because of his idiotic behavior.
TYPICAL LINEUP AND SUBS: