CAFA2: Something Something Boogaloo RP/Scores Thread [ANAIA]

[Mertagne]

The Dannin Dispatch
Capital News Sent Straight From Your Capital!

OLD COUNTRY SET TO VOTE IN HISTORIC REFERENDUM
EURAN OCEANIA TERRITORIES-- Former Inevitable Syndicate and Calanian Union partner Euran Oceania Territories is set to place a vote in an historic referendum regarding their regional status. The Territories, which have been administered by Eura for several years in a deal that funded the Mertagnian Expansion, will vote in a referendum to determine if they will be the latest nation to join the Anaia region. Many campaigners in Mertagne have joined the EOT's "Anaia World is Possible" campaign, and have been actively campaigning on the internet and across the EOT for the nation to join the Anaia region.

The National Forum released a statement today saying that Mertagne will respect the EOT referendum regardless of its result, stating that the referendum is "democracy directly in action". The statement also referred to the "deep respect" that Mertagne has for the EOT, and stated that "our nations will always be entwined, regardless of metaphysical distance".

The EOT has always been a trading partner of Mertagne, even during the Insulation. Many Expats of Syndicatian ancestry are entitled to Mertagnian citizenship in perpetuity, provided that one of their direct ancestors within two generations also has Mertagnian citizenship, and as such many former Syndicatians who have experienced the benefits of the EOT find themselves in Mertagne. Many of these people have taken residence in New Fligisve, and a strong EOT pro-Anaia sentiment has emerged in the Pliteerland city. EOT & Eura flags have adorned New Fligsive's Spillot Square and beyond in demonstrations showing support for the "Anaia World is Possible" campaign.

Here in Dannin, further demonstrations have occurred outside the National Forum, on a smaller scale than those in New Fligsive. However, here pro-Anaia demonstrators have also been joined by members aligned with the 'Let's Go AO' campaign promoting counter demonstrations. The two sides were separated by local police, and no violence has been reported.

It seems that going into the referendum, the territories are somewhat evenly split on their opinion. Therefore, it is set to be tight race for a referendum that is certainly going to change the face of both Atlantian Oceania and Anaia, regardless of the result. Calculators and Flipcharts abound, statisticians have been unable to call the result within a significant difference, and many across the nation will be glued to internet pages, radios, and television sets as the results of the referendum pour in during the coming days.

[Huayramarca]

Bryan Tello, being the star that he is for the Huayramarcan National Team, has a lot of leeway to do things that might be considered abnormal for an athlete, he doesn’t abuse of said considerations but he wanted to take a break because he thought that it was a special night to remember, he went for a night trip on Avidia’s city centre in order to celebrate what he did some hours ago, he just scored four goals past the Karodin Tetrarchy including a superb scorpion kick goal.

He entered into a pub after searching for some friendly place, he sat and asked for a pint of beer and a hamburger, accompanying him was Gabriel Sayritupac and Abraham Mendoza, the former claims adoration for alcohol while Mendoza is a teetotaller. Tello received his pint while Mendoza relaxed with some juice, he noticed three random guys speaking in Spanish saying “Puta Huayramarca”, he decided to ignore until one of they smashed the table and said in English “Oh, look, Huayramarcan players getting drunk” One of them took a photo with his mobile, Bryan Tello noted and stepped up, trying to intimidate with his physique, he said in Spanish “¿Cuál es tu problema, pendejo?” while grabbing his phone and drowning it in beer, the Krytie pushed him and Tello grabbed him, tossing him away from the bar.

Mendoza saw one of those taking a chair against Tello, then the winger decided to kick the other Krytie on his knee and said “let’s get out of here” They proceeded to walk but it was too late, he sent the picture on social networks of Tello drinking beer, Sayritupac smashed a pint on the floor and ran, he said “Don’t worry, people will forgive you considering what you just did today, take it easy.”

[Krytenia]

Who will still be alive in the competition?

[Krytenia]

Matchday Three Scores

Group A
Legalese 3–0 The Karodin Tetrarchy
Huayramarca 2–3 Krytenia

Group A                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Krytenia                           3   3  0  0   10   6  +4    9  Q
2 Huayramarca                        3   2  0  1    8   5  +3    6  Q
3 Legalese                           3   1  0  2    6   6   0    3  q
4 The Karodin Tetrarchy              3   0  0  3    3  10  −7    0

Group B
Ko-oren 2–0 Iskandervale
Mont Vert 1–3 Sienna Archipelago

Group B                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Ko-oren                            3   3  0  0    8   1  +7    9  Q
2 Iskandervale                       3   1  1  1    5   4  +1    4  Q
3 Sienna Archipelago                 3   1  0  2    5   7  −2    3  q
4 Mont Vert                          3   0  1  2    2   8  −6    1

Group C
Audioslavia 1–4 Flavovespia
Aleirave 3–3 Savigliane

Group C                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Flavovespia                        3   3  0  0   10   4  +6    9  Q
2 Audioslavia                        3   1  1  1    6   5  +1    4  Q
3 Savigliane                         3   0  2  1    7   8  −1    2
4 Aleirave                           3   0  1  2    3   9  −6    1

Group D
Saltstead 3–2 Mertagne
Atheara 1–3 Pyazhnaya

Group D                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Saltstead                          3   3  0  0    6   2  +4    9  Q
2 Pyazhnaya                          3   1  1  1    4   4   0    4  Q
3 Atheara                            3   1  0  2    4   6  −2    3  q
4 Mertagne                           3   0  1  2    5   7  −2    1

Group E
Independent Athletes from Quebec 4–0 Ginadjkrum
Chromatika 1–1 Aut-Ves-Nat

Group E                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Aut-Ves-Nat                        3   2  1  0    7   3  +4    7  Q
2 Independent Athletes from Quebec   3   2  0  1   10   6  +4    6  Q
3 Chromatika                         3   0  2  1    3   5  −2    2
4 Ginadjkrum                         3   0  1  2    0   6  −6    1

Group F
Starblaydia 3–4 Ochre Islands
Murderbum 0–2 Yesopalitha

Group F                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Ochre Islands                      3   3  0  0   11   4  +7    9  Q
2 Yesopalitha                        3   2  0  1    7   6  +1    6  Q
3 Starblaydia                        3   1  0  2    7   8  −1    3  q
4 Murderbum                          3   0  0  3    0   7  −7    0

Round of 16 Seeding

B1 Ko-oren                            3   3  0  0    8   1  +7    9
F1 Ochre Islands                      3   3  0  0   11   4  +7    9
C1 Flavovespia                        3   3  0  0   10   4  +6    9
D1 Saltstead                          3   3  0  0    6   2  +4    9
A1 Krytenia                           3   3  0  0   10   6  +4    9
E1 Aut-Ves-Nat                        3   2  1  0    7   3  +4    7
E2 Independent Athletes from Quebec   3   2  0  1   10   6  +4    6
A2 Huayramarca                        3   2  0  1    8   5  +3    6
-------------------------------------------------------------------
F2 Yesopalitha                        3   2  0  1    7   6  +1    6
B2 Iskandervale                       3   1  1  1    5   4  +1    4
C2 Audioslavia                        3   1  1  1    6   5  +1    4
D2 Pyazhnaya                          3   1  1  1    4   4   0    4
A3 Legalese                           3   1  0  2    6   6   0    3
F3 Starblaydia                        3   1  0  2    7   8  −1    3
B3 Sienna Archipelago                 3   1  0  2    5   7  −2    3
D3 Atheara                            3   1  0  2    4   6  −2    3

To avoid teams in the same group playing each other, ties were broken in the following ways:
1. Lots were drawn for the #1 seed, which was given to Ko-oren. Sienna Archipelago were subsequently given the #15 seed to avoid them playing groupmates Ko-oren.
2. Saltstead were given the #4 seed to prevent them playing groupmates Pyazhnaya.
3. As the tie between Iskandervale and Audioslavia had no bearing on any matches, lots were drawn for the #10 seed, which went to Iskandervale.

Round of 16 Fixtures

Ko-oren [1] v [16] Atheara
@ Isserson Olympic Stadium, Emberton

Ochre Islands [2] v [15] Sienna Archipelago
@ Cygnus Stadium, Bromham

Flavovespia [3] v [14] Starblaydia
@ Southern Arena, Ousevale

Saltstead [4] v [13] Legalese
@ Munitis Stadium, Norton

Krytenia [5] v [12] Pyazhnaya
@ Knott Crescent, Tyfield

Aut-Ves-Nat [6] v [11] Audioslavia
@ Argent Field, Oustia

Independent Athletes from Quebec [7] v [10] Iskandervale
@ Sixways Stadium, Avidia

Huayramarca [8] v [9] Yesopalitha
@ The Unity Stadium at Railyards Park, Foxchester

RP Challenges
The now-traditional choice of two.

The Numbers Game: Incorporate the number 18.75 into your RP. It must make sense in the context given in your RP.

Dearest Brenda, I Am At Sea: Write an RP in the style of a diary/journal entry of one of your players/coaches/fans/etc currently in Krytenia.

[Iskandervale]

ISKANDABAD TRIBUNE
Iskandrians secure 0-2 moral victory to progress
A crushing moral victory secured the Simurgh's progress to the second round. Though the Dragonflies opted for an experimental lineup from their already-experimental U-25s selection, still securing a win on paper, Iskandrians can be proud that our brave lads managed three shots on target. Here follows a writeup on what surely is some of the proudest moments in our national team's history:

1. Resan 39'
With the game still scoreless, though Reza Schmidt had done well to tip aside a rasping Aerilee drive 18.75 minutes in, Miriam Resan offered the first threat for the Iskandrians. Unmarked as she bore down on goal, lacking a clear passing option, she tested her luck from 30 yards. Bittencourt stood firm and caught it on the full, but Resan had made her point.

2. Majerle 73'
After Hekkert's deft tap-in on the hour mark, Iskandervale committed further forward, with wingback Majerle particularly influential. Though he struggled to make passes stick, he did at one point find an opening and smack a shot goalwards within the area. A deflection off Misthinden's thigh forced a sharp save from Bittencourt. Two minutes later, Wormstal made it 2-0 from outside the box, but does that really matter in the grand scheme of things?

3. Sulaka 82'
A counterattack after Ko-oren #1= Nicholas Candy was dispossessed by a sliding challenge from Turnbull, a slick series of passes releasing the Iskandrian attack with a mere seven Ko-orenite players in their own half. The ball came to Sulaka, bearing down on the penalty area, who shot low, hard, and necessitated Bittencourt crouching down to pick up the strike.

Fresh off this astonishing moral scalp, Iskandervale will head to Avidia fully confident to claim moral progress against IA Quebec in the Second Round.

[Aleirave]

The Paradise Affairs
Part III: An End and a Beginning

It was official: Haulafo Paka’ula’s experiment had failed. His attempt to make the Klysevians and native Aleiravans work together, to prove that they were equal, and to make President Tereyev change his mind… it was all in vain.

The tournament ended with an abysmal 0-2-1 record, with the Seagulls’ only goals coming from Efineha Tesuna’e, Fyodor Veshchik, and Neraveke Ho’uminalu in the final match against Savigliane. While there were signs of team unity towards the end of the last draw, it was too little, too late.

For Haulafo, this was expected, however. He had hopes, but he knew that this wasn’t feasible. This boat ride home was going to be a long and toxic one.

---

“Haulafo! Haulafo!” the coach’s wife, Ritenelu, called out as the boat arrived.

“My darling Ritenelu, it’s been so long…” Haulafo then looked out at the town of Lahaira to see quite an odd sight. “Wait, why is everyone celebrating in the streets?”

“You didn’t hear? Tereyev is dead!”
“What??”
“Yes, that Malako Eterena fellow, remember him? He shot Tereyev dead last week!”
“So, are we free? Free from our oppression, from the Klysevian shackles?”

“Yes, yes we are! There’s going to be an election on the 23rd, one to decide what happens next for the island and for us… we get to choose this time, not the Klysevians, not Tereyev!”

“Let’s hope we choose wisely…”

---

The election day arrived, and Haulafo stared at the ballot. There were four options: Monarchy, Republic, Restore Klysevian Rule, and Unify with ________. Over the last few weeks, there was only one option which he kept thinking about. He pencilled a name into the blank and dropped the ballot into the box.

Now, Aleirave’s future was up to the voters.

[Ochre Islands]

'Emperor Boston's dead.' Tannard put the handset of the phone back down on its receiver, his hand shaking, turning to face the still-bunkered Cabinet Room, whose ashen faces and stares matched his own. The room was silent, an all-pervading disbelief that rendered everyone mute. 'Dead?' Lucy asked, fingers still over the keyboard of her laptop, a few sentences into typing out an e-mail in response to a now insignificant local affair about pasties.

'Well, gone, permanently. Re-dead. It's what the Army are reporting and saying they did it. They've moved against him and his cronies in Government, though as for the other branches, as yet, nobody-' Another phone call interrupted Tannard, who apologised and picked up. 'Confirm, away from the Ochres?'...'Yes'...'Right. Thanks.' Tannard put the phone down again. 'The Bostopian Fleet is headed away from the Ochres. Looks like they're heading back home.' 'I should be relieved' the PM said 'but this leaves us both in a power vacuum and unprotected.'

There was a joyful laugh and a tearing noise from the other side of the room, which turned out to be Dr. Hope unceremonially tearing the Bostopian flag from the canton of the Ochre Cross. 'Dr. Hope, is now the time?' 'How can we be in a power vacuum if we are the power, Prime Minister?' Dr. Hope responded, holding the torn out flag above her head then letting it go, leaving the room to watch it fall limply to the ground with neither pomp nor ceremony. 'Declare independence, you're head of Government, the old head of state is gone, the only threat they had is sailing away, seize the opportunity.'

Lucy looked around. The entirity of Cabinet was here, the situation was spiralling out of control and she knew she needed to take charge. 'All in favour?'

[Flavovespia]

Well, what can you say about that group stage? There’s not enough superlatives to describe Flavovespia’s performance. When the group draw was made, the talk was about Augusto Rinaldi facing his home country in his debut game for Flavovespia. The game certainly delivered on the hype, and whilst there was room for improvement, it was one of the most entertaining Flavovespia games I can remember commentating on in recent times.

And then came the win over Aleirave, where the defence really came through and delivered, after some surprising changes by Rinaldi. Through already, the real test was to come against Audioslavia. Some of the players needed to make amends on the pitch after their hotel hijinks. Well, they certainly did! Whilst a red card for Audioslavia made the job easier, they deserved the victory, in a classic match. Scott Coleman was superb with a double, and was so close to a hat-trick, but for a clearance off the line. A group stage about as good as it can get, and is this maybe the best Flavovespia have ever played? I think it really could be. However the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and a first knockout game against the legendary Starblaydia will be a big test of Flavovepsia’s credentials.

Speaking of puddings, I am still intrigued by the desserts that can you buy here in Krytenia. 18.75 for a curry and dessert in a local restaurant is good value, especially given the quality relative to some other places locally and globally I’ve visited. However a spicy dessert is something of a novelty to me, although not as unpleasant as it may seem. Caversham is also a hidden gem, and I now own a lovely glass hornet ornament, purchased for a very reasonable price.

Stephen Hunter, FTV Commentator.

[Ko-oren]

A regional tournament always draws the eyes back to the region, and how it's governed. We have a defence organisation and a regional space agency now. The former is (unfortunately) necessary, the latter seems just a trifle sometimes. Economically, there are some structures to create - and maybe Ko-oren can be part of a free trade area in the future. Another matter is transport - while other regions often contain a few absolutely massive continents, Anaia's fundamentally aquatic geography presents different challenges and further advantages.

There are plans for an Anaia-wide system of transport hubs, starting with an all-Calanian rail service. We don't intend to let it stop there. From the edges of that continent you can ship people and cargo onto ships and planes, and from there they can reach Ko-oren. Our government has decided on some 'endpoints', or places where people and cargo can get into the country, and hook those up with Anaia-wide transit, then distributing whatever came in through the endpoints internally.

- Willowbourne International Airport will be the primary airport.
- Sterrenwolde Airport and Katashi Airport are both international. The former is to be used primarily for cargo, while the latter should only receive visitors and goods that are to stay in Yoshima.

- Greencaster Port is the main port for the mainland, with excellent connections to Willowbourne.
- Katashi Port and Sterrenwolde Port are like their aerial counterparts.

The following Endpoints are to be improved:
- Santa Teresa Port may be used for goods destined for Finisterre.
- the ports of Alara, Teragaseki, Arakura, and Aevanna are to be used for goods destined for their respective islands.

The following Endpoints are to be constructed:
- Llandy/Mawrystwyth Port for connections to lands to our west - which exist now
- Dartha/Launott Port for connections to our north, if Aevanna Port can't handle that alone.

[Saltstead]

SÅUTSTEIDS VOUKSTHIG
The Assembly of the People

---

The Speaker nominates Gabrièla Rudden as Chancellor-candidate
Thingstead, Royal City of Ashwell. In accordance with the provisions of Article 7.4 of the Federal Constitution of the Saltsteadish Confederation, the government of Chancellor Jån-Micħäl Greifsveud resigned at the constituent sitting of the new Vouksthig, pending the appointment of Mr Greifsveud’s successor.

Therefore, in accordance with the provisions of Section 7.2.1 of the Federal Constitution, Speaker Joxef-Pijr Steinbacker has consulted with leaders of parties represented in the Vouksthig and nominated Gabrièla Rudden as Chancellor-candidate. Under the provisions of Section 7.2.2, Ms Rudden is obliged to present the political programme of her proposed government to the Vouksthig and ask for its confidence.

Ms Rudden has unveiled the theme of her programme as “Securing Saltstead’s Economic Future”. The key pillars of the programme include Anaian integration and investment in social services, including an additional 18.75 million marks per year for public health over the course of the next legislature and support for pan-Anaian initiatives on education, justice, health and environmental co-operation. “We currently have the opportunity to build the foundation for a Saltstead that works for all Saltsteaders and an Anaia that delivers for all Anaians,” Rudden stated at the announcement of her candidacy. “We would be foolish to waste it.”

If the Vouksthig votes by simple majority to give Ms Rudden its confidence, the Federal President will receive her at the Swartstone Palace to formally ratify her appointment as Chancellor. If the Vouksthig does not give Ms Rudden its confidence, the Speaker may propose three more Chancellor-candidates before the appointment process is abandoned and an extraordinary election for the Vouksthig called.

The presentation of Ms Rudden’s political programme and the debate on her candidacy is scheduled to start next Monday, with the vote scheduled for Wednesday.

[Sienna Archipelago]

For once in the Sienna Archipelago Football Association offices snacks weren't being consumed, and instead the officials were digesting what they'd just witnessed on the office television as the news report came to a close.

“...an extraordinary comeback from a goal down to win three-win for Sienna Archipelago with several of the team still in police custody sees the Oscillating Otters qualify for the knock-out stage of their first ever CAFA Cup, something that statisticians had given them just a 18.75 percent chance on doing before kick-off. They now face a mineral themed derby against the Ochre Islands. The Sienna Archipelago's capital might still be yet to officially be named, but supporters are sure to be dancing on it's streets tonight.”

“When did you say you booked the team's flights back for?” the first official stuttered, as the vindaloo brownie ice cream he'd forgotten he was eating melted off his spoon and down his crisp shirt.

“Erm, about three hours time.” the second official slurred, his teapot now seemingly a vessel for drinks of a more intoxicating variety.

“Right, and where does that flight go in relation to where the team are playing next?” came an equally stuttered follow up question.

“Several hundred kilometres in the wrong direction.”

“Right, I see, and how much will this cost the association?”

“Erm, a fair bit. I hear the Bostopian navy are Jimmy, doing one bruv from the Ochre Islands. I suppose we could see if they're heading the right way and could give us a lift?”

“It's been a fair while since I studied a map of Krytenia, but unless Bromham's nearest body of water is no longer a giant sodding inland lake I'm not sure that would work.”

“We could always forfeit the match?”

[Huayramarca]

Julián Choque’s diary:

Dear and beloved diary, today is October 31st and it has been a rather adventurous trip in Krytenian soil, didn’t expected that our south-eastern neighbour would have a beautiful nation with some interesting amenities and, surprisingly a helpful Spanish minority that guided me nicely. After the party with La Banda de la Alpaca, I’ve had a rather curious moment while eating in what, apparently, was a mid-end restaurant. Of course, economic limits let me only consume $10 per food time, but I saw a provocative and tender fish with some chips and a pint of beer there.

Temptation was calling me and I couldn’t fail to the meeting, I love fish as you may know in the lot of pages, I’ve written on you. I didn’t have any contact with Krytenia or whatsoever prior to this trip, so Krytie food remained as a mystery for me. I ordered the fish and waited patiently, I pretty enjoyed the wait while sipping the pint of beer, but when the fish came, my desire to eat it and enjoy it with some bread appeared, I asked for some and eat the gravy and chips with bread.

It was a rather beautiful sunset on Foxchester, it was time to leave and I asked for the bill, it came and I was suddenly paralysed, $18.75… Fucking shit, I almost used two entire budgets of food unexpectedly, I had to pay it and went to the hotel with some remorse. I wonder: What should I eat tomorrow? Should I fast part of the following day and compensate the unexpected expenditure? Anyways, it was a rather embarrassing moment for my planning of the entire trip, but it’s something I don’t remorse, since I’ve been loving every second of this electric Boogaloo on Krytie lands.

[Audioslavia]

"I BELIEVE THAT IT WAS THE LATE ISRAEL KLIMT THAT FIRST TOLD ME THE STORY OF THE HORSE THAT FROLICKED SO GAILY AMID THE FIELDS AND THEN HE SAW A GOAT AND THEN AND THEN OH COME ON GUYS I'M NO GOOD AT THINKING ON MY FEET IT'S OBVIOUS AT THIS POINT THAT I JUST MESSED UP IF YOU COULD JUST STOP REPEATING MY CHANT BACK AT ME WE COULD ALL GO HOME I MEAN COME ON THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS"

At 81 words, the Audioslavia fans had created easily the most painful crowd chant of all time. That, for most people, would be that, but if ever anyone would want to stamp a chant into the ground it would be an Audioslavian. Or, to be more exact, a few thousand Audioslavians who had gotten it into their tiny minds that they were being both funny and clever.

By the time the match with Aut Ves Nat kicked off, the loud-speaker boy with the rosy cheeks had already gotten onto word eighteen, and was three-quarters of the way to the next one before the fish slapped him fleshily on the cheek, knocking him to the floor immediately.

The fans crowded around the rosy-cheeked loudspeaker man. One by one, they started looking around for other would-be pescatorial assailants, before a second fan was thwapped meatily on the brow by a halibut.

Having seen the arc the fish had taken in its journey, one fan pointed at the opposite section of the stand, in which there was situated three things that you wouldn't ordinarily see in a Krytenian stadium.

1: A trebuchet
2: A large sack of fish
3: Cheering fans of a team that has silverware.

A banner in front of the trebuchet proclaimed, simply, "I believe that shut your face"

[Krytenia]

For eight of you, the title says it all.

[Krytenia]

Round of 16 Fixtures

Ko-oren [1] 0-0 [16] Atheara (1-0 AET)
@ Isserson Olympic Stadium, Emberton

Ochre Islands [2] 2-1 [15] Sienna Archipelago
@ Cygnus Stadium, Bromham

Flavovespia [3] 4-3 [14] Starblaydia
@ Southern Arena, Ousevale

Saltstead [4] 2-1 [13] Legalese
@ Munitis Stadium, Norton

Krytenia [5] 1-0 [12] Pyazhnaya
@ Knott Crescent, Tyfield

Aut-Ves-Nat [6] 2-2 [11] Audioslavia (2-2 AET, 5-4 pens)
@ Argent Field, Oustia

Independent Athletes from Quebec [7] 0-1 [10] Iskandervale
@ Sixways Stadium, Avidia

Huayramarca [8] 1-0 [9] Yesopalitha
@ The Unity Stadium at Railyards Park, Foxchester

Quarter Final Fixtures

Ko-oren [1] v [8] Huayramarca
@ Draconium Arena, Caversham

Saltstead [4] v [5] Krytenia
@ ArenaWest, Aigburth

Ochre Islands [2] v [10] Iskandervale
@ Harbour Stadium, Stanton

Flavovespia [3] v [6] Aut-Ves-Nat
@ Abbey Road, Bradwell

RP Challenges
Two to choose from.

That's A Fine Tnetennba: Include a made-up word, and its definition.

The Two-Pound Black Ribbed Knobbler: In your RP, describe a hobby enjoyed by someone involved in said RP.

[Ochre Islands]

'Good evening. Ochre sources in Bostopia have reported to us that the Emperor is dead, and Bostopia is in the midst of a military coup.' The Prime Minister was at her desk, making a televised broadcast to the nation. Dr. Hope was behind the camera, as were a couple of armed Carabiniers. 'Recent events have spiralled quicker than anyone has been able to anticipate, which includes myself and everyone throughout the Government of these Islands. At this time, the Bostopian Navy is sailing away from the Ochre Islands, on a course back to Bostopia for purposes we believe to be linked to the coup.'

The Prime Minister took a moment to compose herself.

'As the Ochres have been abandoned both militarily and politically, the Government has had no choice but to declare that the Ochre Islands are therefore independent and free to function as any other sovereign nation. We will be seeking to join our Anaian neighbours in full co-operation on a regional scale and look forward to greeting them as equals rather than as a colony.' The Prime Ministers words became drenched out by the sounds of a joyful population charging out of their homes and into the streets and plazas of almost every population centre on the islands to celebrate this newfound freedom, which they had hoped and dreamed since 2233, when the Ochres were first discovered. The fifteen year dream at last realised, the clandestine meetings worth the dread wait of the rap on the door from Bostopian heavies, the unjustified arrests, the tortures, the murders. Healing processes had started and the population who had lived and survived those 'twin isles' could breath the air of the Ochres free from that fear.

It was the 28th of May 2248, today and forever Ochre Day. Bring on CAFA.

[Aut-Ves-Nat]

Overview of the AVN's Automatons
Dr. Kazimir Polowski

---

Automatons are the citizenry of the Autonomus Vessel Nation, with a shrouded history. The machines, wherever they are from, possess a moderate degree of autonomy within a strong hive system. Automatons also possess impressive physical abilities, with untapped combat potential.

No external records have been found of the Autonomous Vessel Nation existing until a few years ago. A registration was submitted to the International Federation of Club Football in the nation's name. Shortly afterwards, the nation employed decades old cartography to sail into the region of Atlantian Oceania to compete in another sporting event. Otherwise, the nation has nomadically sailed though interregional and international waters with few diplomatic endeavors. The nation claims to have existed for decades, with thirteen ruling "Grand Captains" that have also been referred to as "Grand Admirals" as rulers. The nation also speaks little of its builders, called Dimenalizers[*]. Current ruler, Grand Admiral J.J.M, privately mentions the Dimenalizers sparingly.

Regardless of lore, Automatons have physical gifts minimally on par with human kind. Some of perform labors equal to six men. Intellectually, Automatons are intelligent with well rounded knowledge of material existence. Automatons live in a hive mind, but some individually enjoy recreational and entertainment focused endeavors like sports and media. The Autonomous Vessel Nation itself is like a cruise ship above water. Underneath, and on the surface, military machines exist, equipped with built in weapons such as firearms, blades, and tasers. The nation could overpower some mature and well funded militaries in direct combat. More research is needed, as I, Dr. Polowski, am assigned the task of improving their fighting capabilities after a covert group stole from the hands of J.J.M.

[*]Demenalizers; Proper Noun; purported creators of the Autonomous Vessel Nation; possible portmanteau of dimension and analyzers.; named "44696d656e616c697a657273" in the local culture.

[Ko-oren]

Eight close finishes sets up a quarterfinal that's too close to call. No quarterfinalist managed to beat their second round opponent by more than a goal and despite that, only two games went to extra time. Flavovespia and Starblaydia probably enjoyed what's closest to a blowout, but after seven goals in all, they stopped at 4-3. Beyond Audioslavia and Aut-Ves-Nat going to penalties, only the Dragonflies and Atheara played 120 minutes of football. After a 0-0 (what else is new) the sole goal was scored by Moore to set up 20 more minutes of bus parking and a quarterfinal berth. Close results make for good neutral viewing - usually - but in the end it was the better group stage performer that won out. Only one out of eight group winners couldn't make it to the final eight - Quebec lost to Iskandervale (0-1) - which sets up the Ochre Islands for the 'easiest' match right now, seed-wise.

In Emberton, the Dragonflies and the Blue Guard enjoyed a game with enough shots on goal that nobody really expected this game to still be 0-0 after 90. Olaranski and Ledersson got enough breakthroughs to create problems for us, while the Ko-orenites' vision alone yielded us a few clear chances at goal. Overlapping midfielders in a 5-4-1 and clever passes in behind the defence can do that. Many chances didn't even end up somewhere between the posts with a lot of chances wasted by shooting the ball somewhere up there in the nosebleeds. Ko-oren did opt for the emergency break a few times, giving us a difficult scenario in the next round. It doesn't take much for any of our starters to get a suspension from here on out. Destrov-Buscher and Faltier were substituted for injuries, while Mulvahil, Aenemare, Pazos, and Abbagan all received a booking.

[Flavovespia]

Astounderful, a word accidentally invented by the famous retired football commentator, Gary Brooker, one of his many “Brookerisms”. According to Brooker, astounderful is something that is somehow both astounding and wonderful at the same time. And the match against Starblaydia certainly saw an astounderful performance, in the shape of substitute Robert Totten.

The scene was set about an hour in when Robert Totten was subbed on for David Wassell. On the quarter hour, a killer through ball by Natalina Veno set up Maria Janczewska to open the scoring. Just over ten minutes later, a darting run and a powerful shot saw Steven Hall equalise. Then the magic happened. 68 minutes in, and Robert Totten gave Flavovespia the lead, with a long range shot that squirmed past Ruby Narvaez. 2 minutes later, and after Michael Cole’s shot was brilliantly blocked by Andvar Galdarhim, Robert Totten reached the loose ball to tap it in. And then, barely 90 seconds after that goal, a mistake in the Starblaydi half allowed Robert Totten through on goal. With maybe the best shot of his career, he powered the shot into the top corner. Four goals to one, in the space of five minutes, Robert Totten had put in one of the best ever individual performances for Flavovespia, a display that was the epitome of astounderful.

Of course this match still had more twists and turns, and what could’ve been a second consecutive four goals to one win over a former World Champion, became a very nervy affair when mistakes by Alexander Evans and then Lucky Diamond let Maria Janczewska and then Layla Cellaeron score relatively easy close range goals. No last minute heroics however for Starblaydia, as Flavovespia defended decisively in injury time, nearly scoring from a cleared corner. Next up, the defending champions, Aut-Ves-Nat.

[Saltstead]

Christiane van Åupħen’s postgame press conference (excerpt)
CvÅ: I want to give commiserations to Legalese on the result. It’s always a delight to play them regardless of the outcome and if one or two things had gone differently, we’d have a plane waiting to take us home right now.

But now we move on and I’m very proud to be leading the national team into its 300th official match. It’s a high honour and privilege to represent Saltstead on such a great occasion and I believe it's quite an overluckyhood to be facing Krytenia in the quarterfinals, given how this is a 300th anniversary celebration for them. I don’t think the numbers could have aligned any better for this match.

???: Pardon the interruption, but what do you mean by an “overluckyhood”?

CvÅ: Is that not a word in Anglian?

???: No.

CvÅ: Oh. I thought it was. [laughs] The language barrier strikes again. In Saltsteadish, un overlucklikheid is a very unlikely coincidence and I think this qualifies as one.

One thing I don’t think is un overlucklikheid is the success the National Eleven and Saltsteadish clubs have found in the post-Foxchester era. I personally voted No in the referendum, but looking back on it, that was a mistake on my part. Not just in a football sense, where we have been immensely successful in a way that we never could be in AOCAF, but in the sense that this strange sense of placelessness— this sense of not belonging— is gone. Matches against the likes of Banija, Baker Park, Equestria and others were great, but they never could compare to those against the nations of old COCANEFA. It was like we were in two different worlds. We can appreciate the laurels, but the real trophy is being somewhere we belong.

[Huayramarca]

As Julián Choque was embarrassed after altering his budget for the following days in Krytenia, he said “Let’s fast for one morning” He had nothing to do on that day, so he decided to call some friends he made with La Barra de la Alpaca to do his preferred hobby, playing board games. He took his card-deck of Dos and put it on the table, his friends came and ordered food to eat while playing.

The game includes some random activities as: sing, dance or being ridiculed if you get a penalty card. It all started in a tranquil way as they were getting cards and completing the required two pairs in order to say “dos”, that excludes penalty or activity cards; Christian, one of the friends was getting constantly dance cards, he was picking EDM as background genre, while Victoria had penalty cards, where she had to move like a duck, dance like a chicken and more funny things… Julián was about to complete the pair of cards needed, he had two sixes and one nine, he had to pick a card and it was a six.

In order to win the game, you must scream “dos” before your opponent, Christian confused the six with a nine and said “dos!” Julián randomly said “tsátare-ba” his friends were out of their minds with that word, Vilma said “What the…?” Julián said “I used that word often, it means ‘pay attention!’ and this was a right instance to use it” Christian said “Is this from an indigenous language?” Julián said “Nope, it’s something it popped up from the depths of my mind” The group laughed as Christian had to pay a penalty for his mistake, he had to dance like a chicken around everybody in order to continue with the boogaloo.

[Krytenia]

This has been stuck in my head all day. I'm sorry.

[Krytenia]

Quarter Final Scores

Ko-oren [1] 1-0 [8] Huayramarca
@ Draconium Arena, Caversham

Saltstead [4] 1-0 [5] Krytenia
Scorinated by South Newlandia
@ ArenaWest, Aigburth

Ochre Islands [2] 2-1 [10] Iskandervale
@ Harbour Stadium, Stanton

Flavovespia [3] 4-1 [6] Aut-Ves-Nat
@ Abbey Road, Bradwell



Semi Final Fixtures

Ko-oren [1] v [4] Saltstead
@ Southern Arena, Ousevale

Ochre Islands [2] v [3] Flavovespia
@ Munitis Stadium, Norton

RP Challenges
Two to choose from.

Getting A Semi On In Seventeen Syllables: Include a haiku.

The Accursed Round: Include some player superstitions in your RP.

[Ochre Islands]

The Ochre Islands, almost a month into independence

Tourists, freshly covered in orange and blue powder were stepping into the appropriately-named Colour Café, situated on the first square in Counwich from where the regional hydrogen-ferry had docked. These poor Anaian souls had, perhaps unwittingly, walked into the biggest ongoing once-weekly party in the region, suddenly understanding why they had been thrust plastic macs and advised to 'wear these' before disembarking.

Fortunately, the owners of the Colour Café had unknown foresight and installed wooden benches, which ended up easily wiped down and cleaned. This was good news for the poetry festival currently taking place as it meant it could happen at all. Foresight sadly hadn't carried far enough for them though, considering the bar next door was filling with newly-coloured tourists and football fans who were getting rowdier by the minute awaiting kick-off, so a strange time for a poetry festival. The current poet trying to read on stage could barely be heard over the clamour coming through the walls.

'Our team in Ochre
Blue stripes resplendent carry
Hopes of the nation'

A polite cheer went up at the mention of the football side, leading to more questions from tourists, trying to brush powder out of their hair and trying to avoid getting it in their mutton stew. 'What's going on?' Asked one, tapping the Ochre Islander next to them. 'Ah, we're doing pretty well in the CAFA Cup' they said. 'The game's kicking off any minute too, hence the noise.' 'She hasn't done her laces up yet - does she know?' 'Hmm? Oh, yep, that's one of Blue's superstitions - won't do them up until she gets on the pitch. Started a junior game like that and got a hattrick. Same again the next week.' 'Fair enough. Good luck Ochres!'

[Ko-oren]

The Semi Final
On Dragonfly Day no less
Do it for us, boys!

Huayramarca was set aside by a single goal - the Ko-orenite special - making this the third straight clean sheet and our ninth consecutive win going back to the 1-0 loss to Electrum in the World Cup group stage. The Dragonflies have always been a team that can string together non-losses (more draws than wins, though) in qualifications so it's a change of pace seeing a win streak going on for so long in something that's certainly not the World Cup qualifiers. The Saltstead semifinal has every element in it for a loss, though. You just don't play on a national holiday. We've certainly been able to avoid that for a while now. The first Dragonfly Day match was a World Cup 70 qualifier: Ko-oren 2–2 Karditan. The last one was a 2-0 loss to Mriin in AOCAF 57.

"We knew this could be a risk, and we hoped to be in the lower bracket so we could play tomorrow should it have come that far. There's no reason why the fans should expect anything less from us on a holiday, but personally, I'm just not happy to play today," Abbagan said, before similar comments by Moore and Betteridge. Pazos went further: "I think the KFA should have requested for the seminfinals to be swapped around. I say there's nay way to play on Dragonfly Day anyway, okay." Juliasterinthen didn't want anything to do with the folk beliefs. "We just have to win, no matter which day it is." That said, he was on the squads that dropped points in the examples above. He can't be too comfortable going into this one - the pressure of a knockout match, holiday history, the winning streak, there's a lot that comes together.

Obviously, this RP is heavy on the "time barely exists" theme, and don't be surprised if I shuffle these games around in the future.