CAFA2: Something Something Boogaloo RP/Scores Thread [ANAIA]

[Krytenia]

I may have forgotten the RP challenges. Choice of two:

The Triple: Three consecutive words from different root words starting with C.

cultural Differences: How does Krytenia differ from your nation? Are the problems settling in?

[Atheara]

Cultural Collision
Atheara struggles with the Krytenian life.

Looking into the personal life of the Athearan NT, it is odd to say the least. And before we do, Atheara lost 1 - 0 to Saltstead because an own goal by none other than John Harper himself. The team had struggled to communicate because of Harper being mute and with him being the captain, but that was the least of worries for the Athearans that are currently playing in Krytenia. Their daily life to life basis in Krytenia was quite a struggle the first time they arrived in Krytenia.

Food was a struggle at first, since Krytenians had a lot of spicy food and Athearans hate spice, but that was no longer an issue when the team discovered several international restaurants. Language was not a barrier, but the dialect was. Since the team had some difficulty picking up on writing and such due to the different dialect used in Atheara. Hey, at the very least prices were not a massive problem. It took a bit to find the proper money conversions, but it was fine.

The Athearan team also decided to roam around Bradwell, as they were still going to stay there to play against Mertagne, whom were quite tricky to assess according to Kristian and Lyzen. They visited the cathederal that was famous in Bradwell, even though the entire team were either atheist or don't have a religion. They went out to a few restaurants, and they even got to see the buzzling nightlife that Krytenia is known for. They did not dissapoint in the slightest.

Anyway, now that the more personal parts are out of the way, Atheara should now prepare for Mertagne. An interesting battle shall await, as Atheara want to at the very least finish at third place.

[Legalese]

For Legalese’s National Team, their first attempt at international soccer ended with a draw with Somailaland, sending them home from Vilitia with one point Baptism of Fire. For Jonny Lambert, it was a good start -- he scored both the first and third goals of the four his side put in, and had the first international goal in Legalite history.

The first goal in Legalese history. Something to hang onto the rest of his life.

Jonny didn’t notice the swirling around him, the locker room in Sile, Vilitia fading, his teammates oblivious to him fading out of their universe and into the next unknown.

He accepted the invitation.

---

Lucien rose, grumbling. Even if he thought he’d be used to it by now, it was clear to him that the biggest challenge of -- whatever you would call this -- he’s been on was sleep. Not only did you never know what time it was, but it shifted on you. It was no way to get eight hours.

He heard a sip from a mug, and a voice as it moved from the other room into his. “Cromulent! Coffee, Constable?”

He took a cup. “Corporal, actually -- our version’s armed, unlike your little flashlight there.”

“Since you’ve been up, what have you found?”

“First, the squires really didn’t know how to play. They theoretically had positions, but in reality, they all converged on the ball to attempt to kick the stuffing out of it. Undisciplined, unfocused, and overall an average performance at the CAFA for Legalese -- a two-one loss will work.”

“Yes, but are they still squires?”

“Not quite. Sometime after the game, the camp turned ragged, and lots of moaning was heard from the area. Something about wanting goals?”

“Okay, let’s see if we can find any cure missiles -- I mean, shots -- lying around.”

[Flavovespia]

When Flavovespians think of nations to expect a confusing culture clash to occur in, they would struggle name many that would be lower down the list than Krytenia. Both are English speaking nations, who drive on the left, with a big love for football. The laws and customs, on the surface, also seem to not differ significantly. Many of the travelling Flavovespian fans should have some familiarity, having of course been here for Cup of Harmony 80.

A restaurant in Aigburth proved that there can always be a source of contention, no matter how similar countries seem on the surface. Aigburth may not be a the most contemporary cosmopolitan city, but it’s coastal location and presence as a shipping city means that Flavovespian fans were still looking forward to some good meals. The starter and mains were more than satisfactory, but when it came to the dessert, it all fell apart. Expecting a sweet finish to the meal, several fans were shocked and surprised by the spiciness that ensued. One likened it to being hit by a reversing dump truck. Another fan, who may have been enjoying some of the local herbal produce, claimed he couldn’t read the menu properly as he was abroad. Whilst many were surprised, not all reactions were negative, with some finding the spicy dessert fascinating and a delight. Which probably means a trendy restaurant in St Astons City will begin selling them shortly, then a second restaurant will open in Hadford Hill or Waldster and claim to be better than the original.

In other news, Flavovespia again managed to concede 3 goals against Savigliane. This would be a disappointment, but Flavovespia scored 4 goals of their own. As the old saying goes, if you can’t beat them, hire one of their own, then beat them.

[Chromatika]

Chromatika Anomalies Manager Candidate: 2. Other Chromatik Candidates

So, besides Sandra Sybill, who is out there? When looking at other Chromatiks, two names come to mind: Aleksandr Ivanovich and Lisa Amos. Aleksandr Ivanovich, of course, is involved in Kitara Athletic Association, the team that won the IFCL a few seasons ago and one of the best teams in the Shango-Fogoa Premier League. It would take a lot to pull him off, but the pedigree of leading the Anomalies might just do it. Ivanovich, of course, was the Manager of Anomalies' heyday at the top of the Red League from Seasons 2 through 4; he's building up his resume, but is this his time to pounce?

Then, there is the old reliable - Lisa Amos. Amos, of course, was the interim Manager for the Anomalies after the martyrdom of Franscesca Larriet-Cortes. She went to Nephara, where she became the Manager of Starling for so many years and now AFC Corvistone, only missing the better part of one season. To be good enough to be a Manager at one of the better leagues of the multiverse for so many years is a testament to her skill, but it remains to be seen if she would be okay with coming back to the team after leaving it.

The reason why many experts think that it's not likely that Ivanovich nor Amos will take the job is the sense of timing. Ivanovich is dealing with the loss of Kuznetsov and is needed by KAA as they strive forward, while Amos is enjoying the challenge of managing a different team in the Zenith.

Neither Chromatik Manager commented when reached out, though the odds aren't good that they will take the job. Given their pedigree, they are definitely worth the look. But will they take the bait?

[Yesopalitha]

Yesopalithan Update 2

Freedom's Altar has been the capital city of Yesopalitha for years - more than 300, the histories tell the Unbidden. They called it that because it was where Zaiden made them Unbidden; the freedom cost them the planar position of their god, which was the highest price to pay.

Now, though, there's talk of a new Capital City - Brehen, the old word for "village". In the days directly following the freeing of the Unbidden, they lived in Brehens, making sure that they were safe from raids and collaborating to get resources needed for each other. Those were the days before the Unbidden outnumbered the Bidden, and it was important that the Unbidden banded together.

Brehen became synonymous with unity, tradition, and family for a long time - some of the tribes of Vampires and Mummies still use it as one of their words for groups. Brehen has a chance to become the word that every Unbidden and even those of the Bidden resonate with as they step together into the future. No longer will the Unbidden and the Bidden be separate groups; they would now work together as one people, as a united Yesopalitha.

Freedom's Altar would remain Freedom's Altar, and Brehen would be located to the northern part of the island, near the ocean.

"Dedicating a city to the unity of all peoples of Yesopalitha will portray a simple fact: We are dedicated to a united future. When all Yesopalithans can call themselves cut from the same cloth, they will be free to work together without worry of backstab or betrayal. Only then, will we be free to move on," stated Nirdasil, the Chosen of Zaiden, in a recent speech.

There is bound to be a bit of pushback, but hopes remain high of Brehen's future as capital.

[The Karodin Tetrarchy]

After arriving at this encampment in the forest, Alar decided that he would explore it in more detail. It was mostly built of wood, old enough to look weathered but new enough not to be rotting away. He walked to the largest building and opened the door, finding himself in a dusty old room.

Most of what was in the room was boring to Alar. There was paperwork in a language he didn’t understand, and a large, unburning fire in one corner of the room. There was one thing that interested him though. Pinned to the wall was a large canvas map, with shapes that he vaguely recognised as the ones he’d been taught about in school: the border between Nevezant and the Argouez. There was a rectangular corner that he recognised as the area that he lived in, west of the city, where many farming families lived off the land.

While he didn’t recognise any of the words, he looked at them for a while, trying to understand them. The other side of the line, where the Argouez would be, was coloured in a light shade of green, and labelled “Mertagne”. Alar didn’t know what that meant. It must just be another word for the Argouez, but then who lived in the Argouez to give it a different name? He had never been told about people beyond the Tetrarchy.

This was too interesting for him to turn around and go home. He folded the map small enough to fit in his satchel and continued walking, further from where he started on the Morvan farm. Once again, he began to hear noises in the distance. He didn’t know whether to hide or to walk towards it.

He walked towards it, and found himself staring at some large men with axes.

[Ko-oren]

The Dragonflies have now accounted for seven goals scored across all CAFA competitions, covering all the way back to CAFA I. Four of the seven were scored yesterday, we have to admit. Abbagan's early opening goal, then a Moore hattrick, nervous moments for Bittencourt, but the sheet remains clean: 4-0. The Foxchester crowd clapped cordially, with many seats emptying out early as parents are trying to get their kids in bed in time.

The man of the match was asked for comments on the Dragonflies' home base. "It's a lot like home in a way, it's convenient."

"But it's Foxchester, it's quiet as."

"Exactly. We can prepare for the matches really well."

"You do know there's at least a dozen teams that take advantage of the Krytenian nightlife? That's not on your mind?"

"We're here to win. Keep your nightlife. I just want curry. We don't have that, and we should. It's incredible."

"Ko-orenite cuisine is not that spicy... aren't you worried about Bromham Bum?"

"Sorry?"

"Tyfield Trots? Stoolton? Foxchester Flux?"

"Why do you think we arrived a week early"

---

Oh right, and we have new jerseys! Kirola was sick and tired of looking at some bland yellowsash jerseys: they did the trick, but they didn't pop. And now we have a jersey to conquer the 90s in! The yellow sash is back, and even makes it onto the away jersey. And it's gorgeous. And we have an Anaian jersey now - fitting, as that jersey will be worn for the Iskandervale game in Foxchester, where it all began*. The thing most of us have looked forward to is to see the dragonfly adorned with the star. And oh my, is it beautiful. Thank you very much, Kirola, and we look forward to beating Audioslavia in these kits in the future.

[Aleirave]

The Paradise Affairs
Part I: Coups, Curbing Corruption Since 2023!

“President Tereyev?” the Supreme Leader’s secretary asked.
“Yes, Oleg?”
“Have you seen the protest outside?”
“What protest?”
“Uh… that one?”

Tereyev looks out the window to find a large crowd gathered peacefully protesting outside the Presidential Palace.

“That… that must be half the island!!”
“Not quite, but close.”
“Why are they here, Oleg?”
“They aren’t happy with your dismissal of that Paka’ula guy’s idea… they’ve never liked our system, and that was the leak that finally sunk the ship.”
“So, what are we supposed to do next?”
“I don’t know, you’re the leader of the country, why don’t you think of something?”

Tereyev paused to think about what his options were, and only one came to mind. He ran up to the palace balcony to make an announcement for the protesters below.

“Hello everyone, this is your President. As you all may be aware of, I recently refused to let Haulafo Paka’ula form an Aleiravan National Football Team.”

“WE WANT EQUALITY!! WE WANT IT NOW!!” one of the protesters yelled out.

“Rest assured that nothing on the island has changed. Everything is just how it has been for the last few years, so there is no reason to protest now.”

“What are you even talking about? We’re protesting everything that has happened in the past few years!”

“I will soon be sending in the National Guard if you don’t disperse post haste.”

“That’s it…” the protester then pulled out a gun and pointed it at the President, who was too busy propagandizing to notice. The crowd let out an audible gasp as the rogue protester shot Mr. Tereyev. As his body fell from the balcony and into the crowd, one thing became clear.

Aleirave would never be the same again.

[Saltstead]

Christiane van Åupħen’s postgame press conference (excerpts)
CvÅ: Thank you, everyone, for your presence here today and my sincere commiserations to Atheara on this unfortunate result. We’ll take a fair win, but Atheara did not make this easy for us. They played incredibly well and had us on the ropes a few times, so they have a lot of positives to take from this match and we have quite a few things we need to work on ahead of Pyazhnaya and Mertagne. But that is what makes football special: you never know what will happen.

Jån-Alex Grönveud, Asħwells Tijden. What do you say to John Harper about his own goal today?

CvÅ: I don’t blame him to be honest. He had every reason to believe that Benni [Sħåul]’s shot was on target and he did what he thought he had to do. It just so happened that it turned an Athearan goal kick into a Saltsteadish goal, but it happens to the best on occasion. There’s still two more matchdays to play, so there’s plenty of time for Atheara to make up ground and plenty of time for Saltstead to lose it. Nothing is decided until the mathematicians sing.

Jessica Marts, Seelandes Nüren. How is the team adjusting to Krytenia?

CvÅ: Quite well, actually. There is quite a kindred spirit between Krytenia and Saltstead, I would say, especially in Foxchester’s aftermath. I think this really is as close to a home tournament as we could have without actually being in Saltstead. Krytenians really welcomed us with open arms and we very much appreciate every moment of it. It’s just a shame the chapel is used for associationist heresy, because it’s actually quite lovely. But we’re here for football, not to preach God’s indivisible unity, so I’ll leave it at that.

[Huayramarca]

Julián Choque, the man in charge of the newly created La Banda de la Alpaca was satisfied that The Condors started nicely in the CAFA 2, the Boogaloo was faring well with that 2-1 victory against Legalese, but something was storming his head as of late, a bit of cultural clash mixed with shyness from him in regards of the alpaca display he did earlier in the day, with mounting speakers and also a fake weapon on it… “Am I screwed?”

Despite being neighbors, Krytenia and Huayramarca have some striking differences, as the Huayramarcans are shier than Krytenians, but Julián was being haunted by “Did we were too over expressive? Are the Krytenian Police chasing me by that fake weapon and for having an alpaca in such an act?” Huayramarcans are more careless when it comes to treat animals, they poke fun with them in ways that, in other nations, would be considered as animal abuse “Now, what can I do?” His conscience continued, constantly, bombarding him with thoughts that he would be in trouble until he remembered a random word by a Krytie “You little neighbors, you need to live the moment and be freer than you are, you all look like fucking zombies on football matches.” That’s when he remembered that cameras captured closely the scenes of the alpaca dancing and fans chanting crazily on the stadium, Krytenians were enjoying what they did. He took his phone and watched the trending topics of Krytenia, three out of five were “Alpaca, Huayramarcan, Huayramaraca”.

Unexpectedly, his conscience torture shifted to happiness as he realized it “I just put ourselves in the middle of a trend!” He took the phone and organized with a group of Huayramarcan supporters to continue supporting in that way, he decided to not let it die.

[Pyazhnaya]

Collective communicative conundrum

With the first match day of the first-ever second CAFA tournament in Krytenia behind us, the mood in the Pyazhnayan national team can best be described as indescribable. Or maybe as impossible to put into words? Either is a pretty accurate description of the situation following the equally decisive 1-1 draw against Mertagne. One can feel both the team's elation over the scored and frustration over the conceded goal, so we have decided to try to dig deeper and see, if we can find the root for this collective communicative conundrum and if it was us failing to settle into Krytenia.

So the first point we looked at the accommodations of the Pyazhnayan players, but given the fact that a) the very first-ever inaugural CAFA, the wildly successful Baptism of Fire, the World Cup qualifiers and now the first-ever second CAFA tournament all have been either fully or partially played away from Pyazhnaya and b) that several of the current roster are now plying their trade abroad, especially for someone like Ulyona Khomkolova, who actually plays in Krytenia on top of it, should be proof enough that this is not enough to cause the phenomenon.

The second point was the communication by Krytenian officials, but the first problem we found was that for some strange reason everybody seemed to think that we would be playing Saltstead on match day one, when in fact we are playing them on match day two. All investigations into the matter clearly showed that they never said that, but were actually very clear and concise in their communications. And maybe this is the root of the collective communicative conundrum. It wasn't the Krytenians at all, maybe it was us all along...

Pyotr Karvanov, reporting for Pyazhnyy Sportske Novosti

[Mont Vert]

“We have to use three c-words!”

Pigmalion Perales looked at his three central defenders, who had just committed a four-goal implosion against one of the most defensive teams in the world.

“That’s convenient…”

[Mertagne]

A decisive draw against Pyazhnaya set the scene for the Mertagnian team as they ventured across the country in their tour coach. The CAFA was rapidly developing a reputation for becoming somewhat of a meat grinder, as teams that would normally run away with their qualifying groups were pitted against each other, literally for sport.

Tyson Oughtio was relaxing towards the back of the coach and thinking about his previous night out. What started as a nice, sit down meal in a fancy curry house had rapidly descended (or ascended, depending on your point of view) to a real romp around the Stanton Docks. The Ice Rink was closed, and the only television appearances he was planning on making were on the pitch, but the betwitchingly bright bulbs of Warehouse 27's neon signs entranced him and those he was drinking with to get on over there and party the night away. Clearly someone had changed the bulb.

The scenes inside Warehouse 27 were something else. Oughtio sampled several shots, many of which were cocktails, and threw some shapes on the dancefloor, mostly because someone had brought in a large set of novelty noughts and crosses. The DJ played a fantastic set, and even honoured Oughtio's request for some Mertagnian garage to be placed in the mix, which the DJ did so expertly between Quebecois shoegaze and the latest work from "Audio versus Ko-oren".

He could still hear the thudding in his chest and the ringing in his ears as the coach sped down the road. He might be the resident geography expert, but, knowing about a country doesn't compare to spending time there. He might have been looking at his beer soaked night with rose coloured glasses, but there was definitely something special about Krytenia he wanted to explore further.

[Sienna Archipelago]

“Ohhh Iskandervale? Who are they? I asked you. Exactly! You replied.” Breadsticks were the order of today as the Sienna Archipelago Football Association official dipped his latest snack into a salsa dip in something of a mild huff.

“Um yeah. I did say that.” came the rather sheepish response from his colleague.”

“Four. One. Four! Bloody! One!”, the latest breadstick snapped in half. “A hard fought defeat by a goal or two would be ok, but four bloody one!?”

“Yeah, I mean, I suppose it turns out that Iskandervale are rather decent. At least compared to us, anyway. But then again, it was our first ever game. It's new for the lads. First time Taylor Yieldhall's been off the Archipelago actually you...” the second official was abruptly cut off as half a breadstick narrowly missed his forehead.

“FOUR BLOODY ONE!! It's the first time he's been on a bloody football pitch judging by some of his goalkeeping out there! And that's not the only problem with our team in this tournament you know.”

Seemingly unsure of whether or not the previously missilised breadstick might be worth at least a nibble, the second official slowly replied, “Oh, what other issues are there then?”

“Well,” the first official paused as another breadstick was dipped in the salsa, “Krytenia, init? You know?”

“Well yes, it's in Krytenia, what's the issue?”

“Well the team are telling me they find it weird there. It's like a foreign country.”

“Um, yes, well it is.”

“Curried coconut croissants.”

The second official stared back blankly. “What?”

“These Krytenian lot. They don't have curried coconut croissants. Weirdos. The lads stay their breakfast isn't right without them.”

“What is a curried coconut croissant?” the second official asked in bemusement.

“Our bloody national dish!”

[Krytenia]

Will your chances of making the last sixteen grow?

[Krytenia]

Matchday Two Scores

Group A
The Karodin Tetrarchy 1–4 Huayramarca
Krytenia 4–2 Legalese

- Group A                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Huayramarca                        2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    6  Q
2 Krytenia                           2   2  0  0    7   4  +3    6  Q
3 Legalese                           2   0  0  2    3   6  −3    0
4 The Karodin Tetrarchy              2   0  0  2    3   7  −4    0

Group B
Iskandervale 1–1 Mont Vert
Sienna Archipelago 1–2 Ko-oren

- Group B                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Ko-oren                            2   2  0  0    6   1  +5    6  Q
2 Iskandervale                       2   1  1  0    5   2  +3    4
3 Mont Vert                          2   0  1  1    1   5  −4    1
4 Sienna Archipelago                 2   0  0  2    2   6  −4    0

Group C
Flavovespia 2–0 Aleirave
Savigliane 1–1 Audioslavia

- Group C                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Flavovespia                        2   2  0  0    6   3  +3    6  Q
2 Audioslavia                        2   1  1  0    5   1  +4    4
3 Savigliane                         2   0  1  1    4   5  −1    1
4 Aleirave                           2   0  0  2    0   6  −6    0

Group D
Mertagne 2–3 Atheara
Pyazhnaya 0–2 Saltstead

- Group D                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Saltstead                          2   2  0  0    3   0  +3    6  Q
2 Atheara                            2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
3 Mertagne                           2   0  1  1    3   4  −1    1
4 Pyazhnaya                          2   0  1  1    1   3  −2    1

Group E
Ginadjkrum 0–0 Chromatika
Aut-Ves-Nat 4–2 Independent Athletes from Quebec

- Group E                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Aut-Ves-Nat                        2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    6  Q
2 Independent Athletes from Quebec   2   1  0  1    6   6   0    3
3 Chromatika                         2   0  1  1    2   4  −2    1
  Ginadjkrum                         2   0  1  1    0   2  −2    1

Group F
Ochre Islands 2–0 Murderbum
Yesopalitha 4–1 Starblaydia

- Group F                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Ochre Islands                      2   2  0  0    7   1  +6    6  Q*
2 Starblaydia                        2   1  0  1    4   4   0    3
3 Yesopalitha                        2   1  0  1    5   6  −1    3
4 Murderbum                          2   0  0  2    0   5  −5    0
*Ochre Islands qualify as, at worst, best third placed side

RP Challenges

Again, two to choose from.

CAFAcrostic: Four consecutive words starting with C, then A, then F, then A. It's called a frickin' acrostic for example.

Tired And Emotional: Has a member of the squad been sampling the local nightlife, or generally made a nuisance of themselves (drunk or otherwise)?

[Ochre Islands]

'"Can A Fava Attack"? Lucy, what exactly is this book?' The PM (Lucy Ginsley) sighed heavily, whilst watching the Minister of Defence, Gary Lannard, flick through the first few pages.

'It's meant to be a book for children encouraging them to eat more beans, apparently, "before they eat you!"'.' 'Says it was written by one of "the most reknowned author in the Ochre Islands" too' Gary responded, putting the book back on the shelf. 'Yes, well, he was the only author in the islands at the time. Self published it the day after he got off the ferry from Bostopia.'

The pair looked at each other, then back toward Doctor Hope, who was quietly sleeping on a sofa. The three of them had headed down to the bunker below Lanton Street, waiting for the homeland's next move. They had since been joined by the rest of cabinet, including the Minister for Sport, Kerry Powell. 'At least CAFA's going well' she said chirpily, as her phone bleeped in her pocket. 'The Ochres have won 2 - 0 - through to the knockout stages already.' 'Think we can go all the way?' Ginsley asked. 'Possibly. Game against Starblaydia next - a win against them, even if they do seem to play better on the world's stage at the moment - would be huge.' 'No more cow killing, please!' Pleaded Gary, his head in his hands as he recalled the last attempt at a 'clash' between Bostopia and Starblaydia on Krytenian soil. They'd fled to the bunker then too, though thankfully their new neighbours had been accustomed to dealing with the Emperor long enough to know the Ochres didn't have any involvement.

Kerry's phone beeped again. 'Oh, for the-' she exclaimed, reading the message. 'Some drunk Ochreites are charging through Tyfield shouting "Jimmy do one, bruv"!'

[Atheara]

Team Struggles
Atheara defeats Mertagne, but conflict ensues within the locker room.

"And with that, Atheara defeats Mertagne 3 - 2! Well, that's a surprise." Says the commentator after the match between Atheara and Mertagne. Credit given to Toriff for scoring the two goals that gave Atheara the lead and Edgar for scoring a 90th-minute game-winner. The team proceeds to walk back into the locker room, ready to take a break in preparation for the next match.

But, it won't be smooth sailing. "Damn, who makes a douchebag make orders?" Jordan asks. He was dissatisfied since they were a bit terrible on the defence, since Harper, the captain made some unclear orders. "Just calm down, it's his first time captaining alone." Toriff remarks. Harper heard the remark Jordan made, but he had no answer. "Ah, the silent treatment? Oh wait, you're mute." Jordan snickers to himself.

"Mate, you have no idea what you just said." Kirian replied. He looked at Jordan. But then he said "What'cha say mate? Of course i'm right! Harper is terrible as captain, what do you expect from a mute dude?" That question clearly pissed someone off. Nathan simply walked to Jordan, and slapped him in the face. "Respect the damn captain you idiot!" Jordan touched his now bruised face, and then kicking Nathan at the stumick.

"Alright you two that's ENOUGH!" Toriff screamed. Jordan was glaring at Nathan, with Toriff, Kirian, and Joshua holding him. Nathan was being held back by Harper, Clint, and Carrick. Later, the little scene had died down, but with tensions still high.

After quite some time...

"Hey Harper, don't be disgruntled. Jordan can be... Quite problematic at times." Toriff said to Harper, both were walking down the streets. Harper only nods. What would happen to the team? No one knows, really.

[Flavovespia]

Following Flavovespia’s victory over Aleirave, a spot in the knockout stages was confirmed, via finishing top two in the group. It was time to celebrate, a festive atmosphere brewing in the Flavovespia camp. However celebrations went a bit far, especially given just two games had been played.

Celebrations began in the dressing room, with a celebratory glass of champagne, the glasses themselves forged in Caversham. Lucky Diamond and debutant Alexander Evans in particular received much praise from their fellow players. Then it was a return to the team’s base camp, a short distance from Caversham, for their evening meal and celebrations. It was there things began to go downhill. Steven Hall gave a few words of wisdom to the team, before making the slightly less wise decision to let fellow Loxthorpe Rovers player and a star of the match, Lucky Diamond to make a speech. It started with unsubtle innuendos about “no clean sheets in the bedroom, only on the pitch”, stayed on that tone, and then ended with him complaining about the limited supply of alcohol and guests the team were allowed, and that he’d acquire more.

Unfortunately for Diamond, his attempts at sourcing alcohol and guests were futile, but that didn’t stop the craziness. Thanks to Diamond discovering some disused hotel trolley carts, a relay race down from the bedrooms to poolside was setup. However, plans to stop the carts at the end of the makeshift course with bedding were poorly thought out, and in the end several players had no clean sheets. Thankfully no injuries occurred, despite a splash landing for Andrew Dance. Augusto Rinaldi was keen to focus on the match against Audioslavia in his latest press conference. He acknowledged disappointment in some players for their antics, but accepted their apologies and said lessons were learnt.

[Aut-Ves-Nat]

Overview of Theiasquadium
Dr. Kazimir Polowski

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After two years of experimentation, efforts to uncover information pertaining to the substance "Theiasquadium" may be complied. Research results will be unpublished, as is required for research to continue. Progress has been made in ascertaining properties, usage, and history of Theiasquadium.

Theiasquadium is a metallic allow, which The make up of Theiasquadium consists of four known elements (C, O, Al, Zn) and one which is unknown. Supplies of the material are rare, with surveyors of the Autonomous Vessel Nation finding and extracting small amounts in oceans. Testing conducted in the Aut-Ves-Nat laboratories, supervised by Dr. Kazimir Polowski, report the metal can be digested, and is addictive. Supernatural phenomena appear to occur in those who consume Theiasquadium. A deadly withdrawal comparable to alcohol has been noticed, though the mechanism could not be ascertained by examining cadavers. Prior top secret research in Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom claim the substance will cause poisoning over time. The brittleness of the substance in large quantities makes Theiasquadium easy to incorprate into foods or drinks.

Theiasquadium's history with humans is mysterious. The metal's fifth component was worshipped by religious groups in modern day Zeta Reka. Pagans in Hügeltaldom tied Theiasquadium to mountain forging creator gods. Zeta Reka's Ruzhan Mountains are a place where the substance has been located by Aut-Ves-Nat researchers. The substance in Zeta Reka is called "The Other Silver." At this time, it is unknown of Zeta Reka continues to reserch Theiasquadium. Inquires into Aut-Ves-Nat's history with Theiasquadium were fruitless. Grand Admiral J.J.M has explained that Theias is a resource vital for energy generation, gatekeeping useage of the substance. Given the ability for Aut-Ves-Nat institutions to harness renewable energy. J.J.M's explanations may be fraudulent. Aut-Ves-Nat blueprints for doorways made of heat treated Theiasquadium were discovered by Dr. Polowski, but must remain hidden.

[Audioslavia]

Marc's first reaction was to panic. Who had put this sweaty gym sock in his mouth? Why did his head hurt so much? Why couldn't he see? Had he been kidnapped? Drugged? Both? He took a deep breath and found, to his surprise, that he could open his eyes at the third time of asking. His hand moved towards his mouth to remove the gym sock, but found nothing. Wait, was that his *tongue*?

His eyes focused and found an empty packet of crisps a foot away on the nightstand. Behind it there was an empty bottle of whisky.

"Ah"

He tried to piece together the events of the last few hours. There had been a kind of football match. Well, it was Audioslavia playing, so 'kind of a football match' was a better description. After it there had been a meeting... but with who? Raul... But there were also two other faces. Older. Drunker. Familiar.

"You're awake then"
"Blargh"

Marc spun round as quickly as he could, which was about as quickly as a pope getting out of a beanbag, and gawped at the voice.

In front of him, standing bare-chested with his arms folded, his modesty retained only by an under-sized white towel and a pink shower cap, was all five-foot-seven and ten stone of Jeremy Jaffacake. His body looked like someone had hastily draped a soggy white duvet over a broken clothes horse. There were so many folds that you could hide the contents of a pencil case in and around his torso.

"Jeremy" said Marc. "What are you doing in my..."
"This is *my* room" said Jeremy. "I'd have dragged to yours, but you lost your key in that waiter"
Marc closed his eyes, and waited to see if the entire morning would just start over.

[Legalese]

“The good news is that nobody was killed or eaten.”

Not usually how a match report would start, but it would do in this case. “True, but the team played as if they could have used some brains. Always on the attack, too slow to come back on defense, no wonder Belmwr had a field day. Four goals, sheesh! The type of dominating performance you expect from a legend.”

Lucien frowned. “We’re still no closer to figuring all of this out, though. We’ve seen two different multiverses of teams, neither from either of our histories, that we know of.”

“Actually, this was from mine, but with a different outcome. That was the team that went to the last CAFA.”

“Okay, two questions. One, why didn’t you tell me sooner? Two, who thought sending a team of zombies to a soccer game would be a good idea, save someone whose brains were already consumed?”

“Well, I was going to get to that. But that’s the thing, they’re the same players, but last I checked, they were living humans. I mean, the way Clinch plays in goal sometimes, I think he’s been undead for years, but normally he doesn’t have blood around his mouth.”

“Any history of the dead walking in your timeline?”

“There’s this issue that comes back every couple of years, but it’s mostly harmless. Many folks treat it like a game at this point.”

Lucien gave his traveling companion a look. “What the hell kind of world do you live in? A threat like that a game?”

“It’s better than the alternative. You have to worry about war and constant strife, dwindling trust, and an unhealthy world.”

“Let’s not debate this now. Ping the blue guy, so we can report that we’re still on a course approaching future annihilation.”

[Aleirave]

The Paradise Affairs
Part II: Restoring Stability in Three Easy Steps!

“Malako, what have you done??” one of the protesters asked the man who shot Aleksandr Tereyev.
“I… I did what I had to do.”

Tereyev’s death sent shockwaves through the small island. On the one hand, it was a victory for equality, as, without the Tereyevs, the Klysevian-led government would have no way of staying in power. On the other hand, Aleirave was thrown into an anarchical state, one of turmoil and uncertainty.

One question remained through all of this. What sort of government would Aleirave have going forward? How would it be decided? Could Aleirave forge ahead? A public meeting would decide this two days later.

“It’s only right if we have a vote. All Aleiravans must be able to decide our future…” an older gentleman said.
“So, what options do we put on the ballot? Democracy? Monarchy? Restore Klysevian Rule?” a younger woman asked.
“Those work, but we should also have an option to join an existing nation.”
“Which one?”
“I say that should be a write-in option. I can see a lot of votes coming in for Pascafia, for example, but people should be free to write in whoever they want.”
“That’s fair, Refilene.”
“I’m glad you think so, Marinora. So, when does everybody want to run this referendum?”
“How does next month sound?” a middle-aged man who clearly had a lot on his mind asked.
“February 23^rd?”
“Sounds great to me, Refilene.”
“So, it’s settled. Election day is February 23^rd, and then it’s up to Aleiravans what happens next.”
“Wait, one last thing…” a Klysevian man in the back asked. “Will we Klysevians have a say in what happens? Can we vote?”
“Of course you can.” Refilene answered. “This is an Aleirave for all Aleiravans.”

[Sienna Archipelago]

“Look, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Coconut curried croissants are our national dish.” by now the Siennan football official was waving a croissant around.

“You have never ever said that before. No one has. Coconut curried croissants aren't a thing. That's not even one you're eating now. It's just a normal bloody croissant.” his exasperated colleague protested.

“Well yeah, but only because the canteen had sold out because they're so popular. But I do have some coconut milk and curry sauce to dip it in, so near enough init?”

“No, no, it's not, it sounds disgusting.”

“Well you're wrong they're my friend. Like I always say, curried and flipping awesome. They're even becoming a big hit abroad I hear. Have a bite.” the first official offered.

“What? Where on earth would they be a thing, they're not a thing.”

“They are. Saltstead, loads of franchises opening up there selling them.”

“Where or what even is Saltst.... you know, never mind” the second official fed up of croissants, tried changing the subject, “I hear there's been more issues for the team in Ousevale?”

“Well, not quite” came a sigh as a second croissant was slathered liberally in curry sauce.

“Right?”

“Yes, you see the issue isn't exactly in Ousevale. The lads went out on the piss a couple of nights back.”

“Not ideal, but doesn't seem a huge issue as long as they left enough time before the last match.”

“Yeah. That's the thing. They got lost and ended up going out in Foxchester, couldn't find any decent pubs or bars. Ended up raiding a petrol station for booze. Half the team's currently enjoying a stay in a police station. Won't even give them curried coconut croissants for breakfast. Savages.”