"You'd better believe I hate those f***ing Kryties! I mean seriously, I should've won that! How in the name of..."
"Okay, as you can tell, Paul Guronne isn't the happiest man in the world following his second-place finish in the Men's 1500m, being passed by Krytenian Eric Saban at the finish line to lose by one one-hundredth of a second in a photo finish that triggered a video review! That's right, I'm Josh Seametzle, here reporting live from the Münzenbruck... Über... laufen... can someone give me some help with this name?"
"Münzenbruck Überlaufenwerfenspringenleichtathletikgebangbangsschwachsteinermopedvroomprix?"
"Yes, thank you Danica, that one! That Men's 1500m was certainly an exciting one to watch, with Guronne and compatriot Oscar Sweete finishing 2-3, but some have been left wanting more out of the Eshian contingent, whose only tour victory came from Eddie Dreyer in the Men's 800m. Let's talk to some of our athletes to find out what they have to think."
"So, Eddie, how are you feeling about your big win in the 800m?"
"Honestly, I'm elated. It always feels good to get an early win, and I'm hoping that I can carry this success into Neverend."
"Of course, he's referring to the Neverend Grand Prix in Neverend, Liventia, to be held in three weeks' time. Also, rumor has it you got a tour record! How does it feel to have a record after the first stop on the tour?"
"Well, it's still early, so the records pretty much come free. I'm just concerned about the finals, I think I started a bit late there, I should probably work on that."
"Next, let's talk to Cassandra Plevar, who got third place in the Women's 1500m. So Cassandra, how are you feeling about your performance?"
"Honestly, something felt off. I'm not sure quite what, but I'm definitely gonna need some rest before the next meet."
"Do you think you'll be able to perform at your best in Neverend, with the distance at a mile instead of 1500m?"
"Oh definitely. My goal for that one's gonna be 4:20. If I can get under 4:20, I'm gonna be happy as a clam. I don't need to win, I just need to improve my best times."
"That's the spirit! Lastly, let's talk to the president of the Eshian Athletics Association, Richard Plessy, who was here in Münzenbruck to watch the event."
"So, Richard, how did the Eshians here look?"
"Honestly, they did okay. I'm liking the direction we're able to go in, and I'm hoping to see more results in the near future."
"What are you expecting out of the Eshians going to the Thunder Cup in Danvirk, The Cordian Isles?"
"I hope to see at least some results, but what results, I'm not too sure yet. Bergstrom's looking really good for the Men's 400m, and Rainnie's running the 400m on the Women's side, so both are gonna be pretty interesting to see."
"Have you checked the TV ratings for the event? Are they up to your expectations?"
"No, I honestly haven't checked them yet. I wouldn't be surprised if they were rather high, it was definitely a fun day to watch here."
"And there you have it, the Münzenbruck Überlaufenwerfenspringenleichtathletikgebangbangsschwachsteinermopedvroomprix may be over, but the Global Athletics Tour has only just begun! Let's watch as our athletes continue to make the long journey to the grand finale in Orean!"
Eshians in the Thunder Cup, Danvirk, COR:
Men's 110m Hurdles: Ryan Bergstrom, Ollie Rendell
Men's 200m: Vincent Syret
Men's 400m: Ryan Bergstrom
Men's 800m: Oscar Sweete
Men's High Jump: Trey Newmont
Men's Triple Jump: Grant Wentree
Women's 200m: Janie Kellar, Ruby Rainnie
Women's 400m: Ruby Rainnie