World Cup 89 - Roleplay Thread

[Le Choix]

Matchday 4: Garifunya 0-0 Le Choix
Goals: None.
Starting XI: Bennett; Morneau - Pleimelding - Bouthillier - Pueyrredón; Lacan - Leloup - Kaplan - Grant (C); Dior; Cazenave.
Substitutes: Rouzet -> Kaplan ('61), Manaudou -> Lacan ('77), Peletier -> Cazenave ('82)

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Matchday 5: Le Choix 4-1 Moliza
Goal: Aurélie Dior '12, Harry Grant '38, Gwenaël Cazenave '62, '84
Starting XI: Bennett; Morneau - Pleimelding - Bouthillier - Pueyrredón; Lacan - Leloup - Kaplan - Grant (C); Dior; Cazenave.
Substitutes: Bureau -> Bouthillier ('48), Doisneau ('64), Vasseaur -> Grant ('77)

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Letters to with Pellier, Part 3

To: M-F.B.
From: Amie

Dearest M-F.B.,

You're right. Something is definitely going on.

As you may or may not know, solitary confinement under the eyes of the Church is more of a death sentence than anything else. There's nothing to do, only the crushing isolation to keep you company, and the overbearing thought of wondering if there was any way that circumstances could be different.

I've been here for three weeks, and I was slowly going mad. Was, because I've been contacted. Telepathically, so that The Church can't hear any of my conversations.

This Queen you are talking about? She's real, and she's hell bent on overthrowing The Church. I don't entirely trust "her" or her motives, but I don't think we have much chance.

If your Brother is getting help from The Queen, then I say trust that help. Do what he suggests. Get our loved ones out of the country, and then plan on how we can get out, too.

We all deserve a better life than under the thumb of a tyrannical oligarchy that claims to be religious.

And yes, this transmission is secure. She promised so.

I'll survive as long as I can.

G sends his regards - he's in on this, too.

Valiantly,

Amie

[Mytanija]

Well, there was only one way to respond to a 3-0 thumping at the hands of a lower-ranked nation. Mytanija had been truly woeful against Rangers and were deservedly beaten. Lev Repin had read his side the riot act in the changing room after the game and even though it was a largely second-string eleven there were no murmurs of discontent from those with more experience in the line-up, like Srdan Vukovic or Vilim Kupresak. During the previous qualifying campaign Kupresak’s comments in the media about Repin’s selection decisions had been an ongoing issue, with Kupresak left out in the cold and the national team’s depth suffering a little as a result. The two reconciled and the second-half of the campaign saw improved results. Kupresak didn’t have any such problems with Repin’s choice of team selection this time though:

“No, the gaffer put out a team fully capable of winning the game and we were absolutely shit. In every single department. We made it too easy for them and we were punished as a result, as so often happens at international level.” Vilim has never been one to mince his words and it doesn’t appear as if he’s willing to start doing so now. Some sections of the media did question exactly why the team included so few big names, but the truth was that Mytanija had got off to a solid start in their first three qualifiers with two wins and a draw and that the next match after Rangers was against Poafmersia. The sort of match which could decide who wins this qualifying group. Most of the media saw it for what it was, a match where Repin could try to rest his key players and still put out a strong squad capable of winning. They just didn’t perform.

Besak, Jernejec, Vukovic, Vujovic, Shishkin and Zgela all play for foreign clubs which compete in a top 32 ranked league within the IFCF. There’s plenty of talent beyond Mytanija’s starting eleven. The team looked lethargic, unwilling to take risks when attacking and defending rather lazily at the opposite end. Rangers tore them to shreds. Mbala-Ekakia was a bright spark in a rather dull performance, the young central defender not doing his own reputation any harm with solid work at the back and some eye-catching passes out of defence. A change of formation to 4-2-3-1 and the introduction of Tahir Fejzuli, Brajko Gavrilovic and Jezdimir Ocokoljic couldn’t change the complexion of the match. Mytanija went home empty-handed, embarrassed.

But there really is only one way to respond to a 3-0 thumping at the hands of a lower-ranked nation and that is to win your next game, no matter who it is against. Mytanija met Poafmersia, the group’s third-ranked side against the top-ranked nation, with the FSM deciding to send the game to Rauchnya and the Stadion Cassia in particular. It might only have a 22,000 capacity, but the FSM send higher-ranked countries to provincial locations like that for a reason and it is because it is often where they will receive the most hostile reception. The FSM see it as part of the game, an attempt to gain an advantage where possible, even if it isn’t strictly good sportsmanship. Sending Poafmersia to the ground occupied by a club with a fierce Rauchik nationalist ultras group might really be skirting the boundaries of what is acceptable, though.

If it was a hostile atmosphere the FSM wanted then the Rauchik public obliged, greeting the Poafmers with a sea of bright red flares and not entirely politically correct chants about where they can stick their potatoes. The game started at a rather ridiculous pace, both teams throwing caution to the wind a little more than they might have wanted, but this suited Mytanija amidst the raucous atmosphere. It felt almost as if the Stadion Cassia crowd were sucking the ball towards the goal every time Mytanija won possession and when there was a scramble in the Poafmer box Jezdimir Ocokoljic – who else? – was on hand to stab home, keeping his head whilst everybody around him was losing theirs. Ironically the goal only furthered that sense of lost heads, cranking up the atmosphere another notch or two.

Mytanija did what Mytanija tend to do once 1-0 up and began to sit-off a little, almost as if they believed the one-goal lead and the crowd would be enough to see them over the line with around 70 minutes left in the game. Poafmersia could smell blood, a team not fully committing whilst on-top is a team which can be pegged back. Lev Repin was apoplectic at his side from the sideline, but it is questionable whether he could even be heard over the din. Aleka Dufour did her best to silence that, shimmying one way and then the other before finishing low through Mojmir Anac’s legs to leave Semir Besak stranded. The equaliser quelled the noise for all of five seconds, the crowd recognising that they were needed more than ever.

The two sides went into half-time level and then exchanged goals in the opening quarter of an hour of the second-half. Woden Sweet getting a rare goal as she drove home an effort from the edge of the penalty area after the ball fell kindly to her, a deflected Haodao shot leaving her with the opportunity for only her second international goal. She took it well. Mytanija were momentarily shocked by the goal, looking like they were in serious danger of conceding a third for a couple of minutes but Damien Gannot was there to score the equaliser against the run of play. Fejzuli thread a lovely through ball between the centre-backs and Gannot latched onto it before rounding Nicole Potts and finishing into an empty net.

Repin decided he needed to get a handle on the game at that point, withdrawing Mojmir Anac for Zijad Kurtcehajic and Tahir Fejzuli for Mersudin Smajic. It looked like a negative pair of substitutions but paired with a change to a 4-3-1-2 formation it allowed Mytanija to regain control of the centre of the pitch. Damir Milcic and Patrik Odonelec retreated into a back four with Savicevic and Racic between them and the trio of Kurtcehajic, Hrdaljko and Smajic had plenty of bite in front of them to ensure the Poafmer team couldn’t dominate that area of the pitch. Smajic’s passing also sped up the Mytanar attacks and got the team up the pitch much quicker. Mytanija grew into the final half an hour, improving to a point where the commentators were actually wondering if a point would be a bad result given the context of the game.

Thankfully nobody had to find out. It’s been a whirlwind few months for Bigger Mbala-Ekakia. He won the Top League as a starting central defender for his boyhood club, the biggest team in the country Atletik Thessia. He played in the Di Bradini Cup and then he was selected as part of the national pool for World Cup qualifying. Since then he’s accumulated three international caps, becoming the first ever black player to play in the hoops of Mytanija and he was brought on against Poafmersia towards the latter stages of the game when Dino Racic pulled up with a suspected pulled calf muscle. “I can’t believe how quickly it’s all happened!” Mbala-Ekakia was quoted as saying before the game. He’s now got another highlight to add to his scrapbook, his first ever international goal. The winner against Poafmersia.

Mytanija’s late dominance was generating half-chances, shooting angles which were soon cut-off by the attentive Poafmer defenders. It did give Mytanija – a relatively tall team – plenty of chances from set-pieces, though, with the likes of Grigorij Savicevic, Bigger Mbala-Ekakia, Mersudin Smajic and Jasno Odonelec all happy to use their aerial ability whenever possible. The Mytanar winner came from one such corner, a move which had obviously been invented on the training ground, with all four of those players bunching together on the penalty spot. Savicevic, Smajic and Odonelec all ran to the near post; whilst Mbala-Ekakia sneakily looped around to the back post. By the time Hrdaljko’s corner met Mbala-Ekakia’s head it was too late for the Poafmer defence to do anything about it, they hadn’t tracked Mbala-Ekakia’s run and his free header sealed the win for Mytanija. A 3-2 win over the group’s top seed which suddenly made this international break feel very fruitful indeed.

“We’ll have to be better against Siovanija and Teusland, as well as The Sarian.” Lev Repin said after the match. “We rode our luck there a little, but you have to do that against the best sides, you have to be a bit lucky. We stayed in the game even when it went 2-1 to them, got back level and then I thought we were good value for all three points. The crowd here in Cassia – well, whenever we play in Rauchnya, really – always helps us. A big congratulations is in order to Bigger too, his first international goal. He’s been brilliant since joining us with the national team.”

MYTANIJA SQUAD FOR MATCHES VERSUS SIOVANIJA AND TEUSLAND (A) & THE SARIAN (H)
Goalkeepers: 1. Pedja Kasun (Ararat Severyan); 12. Semir Besak (Mipojoseon [QUE]); 24. Lazar Obradovic (Liria Prizren)
Defenders: 2. Damir Milcic (Anomalies [CMT]); 3. Grigorij Savicevic (AC Izotz Zubia [AUD]), 4. Mojmir Anac (Olympic Thessia), 14. Bigger Mbala-Ekakia (Atletik Thessia); 6. Patrik Odonelec (CA Paulinthal [PAS]); 13. Srdan Vukovic (1896 Ebor); 27. Usten Odonelec (FK Arsika), Kamil Jernejec (Chromatik [CMT]), 16. Josko Omerovic (Olympic Thessia); 17. Slobodan Vujovic (Royal Rumiatzi [ASG])
Midfielders: 7. Alen Hrdaljko (CA Paulinthal [PAS]), 8. Tahir Fejzuli (Mâ Âlâmëómë [FFD]); 10. Jasno Odonelec (Atletik Thessia); 23. Zijad Kurtcehajic (Atletik Thessia); 18. Vilim Kupresak (Olympic Thessia), 19. Mersudin Smajic (Liria Prizren); 20. Maks Shishkin (Maethoru SC [KOR]); 32. Brajko Gavrilovic (1896 Ebor)
Forwards: 9. Jezdimir Ocokoljic (Energija Chernovets [STL]), 11. Damien Gannot (Sabrefell Athletic (NPH); 21. Dejan Zgela (Damogran FC [SRS]), 22. Kemal Gajic (FK Arsika)

[Geisenfried]

Something in the Coffee in Kalffe?
Geisen offense erupts in 3-0 victory over Britland

KALFFE, GALLEN - When Gerhard Brückner took over managerial duties for the national side, he promised a strong defensive team, altogether fitting considering his reputation from his time running 1. FSV Dözel in the Geisenliga. And on that side, it's hard to say he's not delivered on those promises. AOCAF LXIV ended with only two goals surrendered, including an impressive clean sheet against top-ranked side and eventual champions Banija. Here during World Cup qualifying, the first four matches only saw 3 goals against the Geisen side - a strong effort if Geisenfried wanted to be anything more than fodder during the qualifying round. But the questions remained on the offensive side - with only one goal in AOCAF and another against Moliza here, there were rising questions if the commitment to defense was strangling goal-scoring output, especially after a scoreless draw against the United Socialist States of Txakhaxi, in what was seen as a very winnable game. But after a strong showing against Britland, a constiuent country of the United Kingdom of Galimencia, it seems like the questions will abate for the time being, as die Steinadler put up 3 goals to put away 3 points here at the Arena CK.

Geisenfried came attacking early, flexing their base 4-5-1 into more of a 4-3-3, with Djibril Kayode and Raffaele Grüneberg pushing up into wing positions. Britland seemed unprepared for this change of tactics, as they were put on the back foot from the get-go, ceding several early chances and forcing Britland keeper Bobby Anderson to work off the bat. Though the rattled defense managed to hold for a good twenty minutes, the twenty-second saw defensive mid Seth Dreschner jump on a panicked clearance and find Kayode in space, who curled it above the keeper but under the top crossbar to put the opening score on the board, his second for the national team. After achieving their breakthrough, the Geisen team pulled back a little bit, returning more to their standard formation, but the dying minutes of the first half saw an opportunity build up from the back that was converted when left wingback Kaspar Eberhardt's cross found center forward Mikkel Christensen's head in the box, and he duly converted it into a second goal in the second minute of stoppage time. The Four Lions came back stronger in the second half, with keeper Juergensen forced to push aside a strong attempt from Britland's Gary Callaghan, but the Golden Eagles' trademark defensive style seemed to stifle everything Britland had to offer. And with a couple minutes to go before the seventieth, Ferdinand Roessler managed to bait a few defenders in before dumping the ball off to a freed Raffaele Grüneberg, who converted corner pocket to bring the score all the way up to three-nil, where it would stay until the final whistle rang, much to the joy of the fifty-plus thousand Geisen fans in attendance.

The match puts the Golden Eagles up to sixth in the group, with 7 points and a +1 goal differential with 5 matches in, a solid effort for team coming back into international football after an absence. but an away date at Brenecia, the Group 2 favorites, looms large. Given the Brenecians are currently under pressure of their own, left looking up at surprise leaders Le Choix, one can only expect their stiffest challenge in World Cup qualifying to date. A home date against Garifunya, who Geisenfried only leads via goal differential, follows afterwards and stands out as another required 3 points if the Golden Eagles want to make any noise in this qualifying session. They'll play in Greifeläs at Gryphons FC's Greifhorst-Stadion.

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Txakhaxi 0 - 0 Geisenfried

Geisenfried 3 - 0 Britland
Kayode (22'), Christensen (45 + 2'), Grüneberg (68')

[Ko-oren]

Season 36: Loose Ends

With Maiko Aomine's final whistle to put an end to the Cup final between Katashi-Kanatsu and Maynard AFC (Maynard AFC wins 2-1, Katashi-Kanatsu came this close to winning the Cup twice in a row), and the formal applications to the IFCF, Vilitan Cove Invitational, and CAFA LigAnaia in the mail, let's look at some players, managers, and teams that have some (soul) searching to do. These are the loose ends after Season 36.

1) Finisterran football - For the first time ever, a single region had three clubs in the Top League - and as that league contains just 12 teams, that means that that single region dominates the domestic scene quite a bit. That region, if it wasn't clear yet, is Finisterre, a small-ish peninsula famous for being 90% desert, 10% the city of Ferrovente, and 10% the city of Santa Teresa. All three now shared the same (small) pool of TV time, pundit energy, bandwagon fans, and talent pools, and it showed. The third club definitely wasn't worse than the other two, but it was clear that three was simply too many. The new region with a stranglehold over the league is Cote Austral - they have Aminey CS, Tanques AOE, and Couziers-Olympiques now. Tanques AOE and Couziers-Olympiques weren't in the league at the same time so far, as they traded places in the same season, but now all three clubs are at the top. Cote Austral's population being two times, if not three times the size of Finisterre's is certainly helping - and all three clubs are in different markets. Aminey CS have the metropolis of Aminey, Couziers-Olympiques represent all of northern Cote Austral - and attract quite a bit of fans from other francophone areas east of the city of Willowbourne, and Tanques AOE is the favourite club of southern Cote Austral. No biggie. That said, Finisterran football overstretched itself, and is it even profitable to have two clubs in the Top League? Will we see a status quo of just one Finisterran team at the highest level of Ko-orenite domestic football in the long run?


The 12 clubs of the upcoming Top League season

2) Southwestern clubs - The southwest is Ko-oren's most populated and most densely populated region, and yet they have no clubs at the highest level, and just one in the second division. Whereas Cote Austral pools its resources behind two or three huge clubs with multi-city appeal, the southwest refuses to look across city limits and only looks out for their own. Brighthaven Town, Oceanside, Maynard, Sydberg, even Huthwich, Limecroft, Ambergate, and Strongfair - you could name 10 clubs with ease that all wouldn't look out of place in the later cup stages or with some national attention in a high league... and yet... will these clubs ever stop infighting enough for a few to transcend the 3rd division South?

3) Aging players and the next generation of managers - The generation of Juliasterinthen and Davenport is still managing the Ko-orenite clubs (and the national team), but when are we seeing the first coaches from the generation after them? In Juliasterinthen's time, the game was certainly professional and well-paid, but it wasn't the Moneyball-style thing it is today. Clubs are businesses now, and the players of this generation know no better, so you'd think there'd be some visionaries among them. Some clubs could do with a different manager, but who could take these jobs? Some names - if you remember them, if not, ask your parents - Basil Vahamonde to Branvon CD, Miradela GD, or Castelo e Calvente CS (the Finisterran clubs from '1)')? Exidio Varela, linked to the same three clubs? Man Parmentier, after his career-long stint with Aminey CS? Ishiwata for Advance Alara? Every club now has some hero available, but when are they finally hired?

On that note, how old are players in the Top League really? It's rare for players to last well into their 30s nowadays, especially with the influx of new exciting talent, which makes clubs take cheap risks on cheap youngsters rather than signing a veteran for a year of injury risk. The oldest player under contract now is Aminey CS' goalkeeper, Hanazawa, at 39. The oldest outfield player is Amber Steelshrift, centreback for Miradela GD, at 37. The oldest age that has more than one active player, is 34 (!).

4) Maethoru SC dominance - as improbable as it looked at some points during the season, Maethoru SC have calmly added another championship to their long list of achievements. The Capital Club now have three consecutive titles, directly following after Schemerdrecht SVV's two titles. Some years before that, Miradela GD won two titles back to back. It seems that Ko-oren is a league of (short lived) dynasties. Only Tanques AOE have won just a single season without successful title defence. And it's not just the championship - the entire top six is reverting back to the 'same old': the richest clubs of the various regions of Ko-oren. Katashi-Kanatsu in the east. Schemerdrecht SVV in the north. Maethoru CS in the Capitals. Aminey CS in Cote Austral. What is it going to take for a club to beat Maethoru to a title, if it's just going to be one of these three contenders?

Again, for the state of Ko-orenite football abroad, it's not such a bad deal for Maethoru SC to dominate. Our coefficients in the IFCF have never been this high, and it's all through some 7-8 clubs getting repeat invites to the CL and CC, who can keep building their squad with a multi-year vision and strategy rather than for short term gains.

5) Branding and names - The KFA has never been very high on the name 'Top League'. It's just a name that stuck, somehow, coined early on in the modern era and it was understandable in the various languages across Ko-oren without a lot of necessary awkward translations. Rumours have it that the KFA is looking for more unique names for the leagues and a more striking visual style than just 'a blue and green football'. At least what we had was on the nose - who knows what kind of convoluted name with oversimplified logo design we might get?

[Saltstead]

stallion.stable.co.zs
All Saltsteadish! All football!

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Did the playoff draw eliminate Saltstead from World Cup 83?

World Cup 83 had a beautifully cutthroat qualification format. Twenty-four groups of seven sent their respective winners to Equestria and Banija. The runners-up entered a series of round-robin “playoffs” at neutral venues: six winner-take-all groups of four. The format was highly engaging from start to finish and provided plenty of high octane drama, which is why nothing like it has been seen in the decade since. In fact, the highly bloated and boring qualification groups of World Cups 85 and 86 can be seen as a backlash reaction to the high-stakes format of World Cup 83 qualification.

But if there was one nation that had every right to feel hard done by in the 83 qualifiers, the story goes, it had to be Saltstead. The National Eleven went unbeaten in the first stage, but threw away a third of the points on offer by drawing half their matches. Baker Park—despite losing more games than Saltstead—were measurably more adept at winning and comfortably beat out Saltstead for qualification, leaving the National Eleven to face the playoffs.

Now normally, the playoff fixtures are determined mechanistically: the playoff team with the best record face the playoff team with the worst record, second-best face second-worst, etc. After all, there’s always at least one perennial qualifier that misses out on direct qualification and drawing them at random can be a virtual death knell to a minnow’s campaign; at least with the group draw, there’s a playoff spot on offer if you just miss out on direct qualification. With such high stakes in the playoffs, you never want to leave the fixture list to chance.

However, the thought of grouping teams in the usual fashion did not occur to the organisers and a random draw was held instead, with the result that Saltstead drew none other than Eura. Both teams comfortably won their first two games before meeting each other at the Silver Regional Transit Arena in Zion, Silver Beach for one set of tickets to Equestria and Banija. Eura needed only a draw to progress thanks to goals scored being an operative tiebreaker during the cycle, but did not get the memo and convincingly beat the National Eleven to continue their long qualifying streak.

Despite losing only one game the entire cycle, Saltstead failed to qualify. For years, Saltsteaders have blamed the random nature of the draw for their nation’s gut-wrenching failure to qualify. If the draw had not been random, the story goes, Saltstead could have made it through the groups. Unfortunately, though, that story is a myth. By virtue of the first stage results, Saltstead was always destined to failed.

You might be asking how teams could be sorted into four-team groups mechanistically without a random element. The answer to that is the serpentine system (or snake seeding). The six best teams in the first stage would be placed in Groups 1 through 6 in order: first-ranked Ethane would go to Group 1, second-ranked the Macabees to Group 2, etc. Then for the next six teams go into groups in reverse order: seventh-ranked Chromatika to Group 6, eighth-ranked Saltstead to Group 5, etc. The next six teams then go into groups in the same order as the first six and the last six teams go into groups in reverse order, forming a giant snake.

For a demonstration, this is what the deterministic groups would have looked like (with the teams that qualified in real life underlined):

Group 1: Ethane, Hapilopper, Crystalline Caverns, Abanhfleft
Group 2: The Macabees, Savojarna, Main Nation Ministry, Newmanistan
Group 3: Krytenia, Reçueçn, Siovanija and Teusland, Omerica
Group 4: Barunia, Juvencus, Kita-Hinode, Brusseldorf
Group 5: 95X, Saltstead, Eura, Tinhampton
Group 6: Mytanija, Chromatika, Kelssek, Busoga Islands

In other words, Chromatika and Kelssek were the beneficiaries of the random draw, while Ethane, Hapilopper, Crystalline Caverns and Abanhfleft were the teams who were really done dirty. Saltstead were always doomed to play Eura, but the random draw might have actually benefitted Saltstead by virtue of keeping the National Eleven in the picture up until the final matchday.

At the end of the day, blaming the random draw has always been a crutch. Saltstead were profligate in the first stage and paid the price. The opening draw to Tulize, failure to defeat Benjamin Mark and draw away in San Félix were all games that Saltstead should have realistically won. If the National Eleven had won three of those games, they would have beaten out Baker Park and qualified. The fact that they did not falls squarely on their shoulders, not the playoff draw.

This longstanding Saltsteadish myth does demonstrate one thing, though: if the playoff group format ever makes a return, the random draw should not be repeated. There is a good reason that home-and-away playoffs are never decided by random draw, after all. However, Saltsteaders must stop blaming the random draw in 83 for our team’s failure. Saltstead never deserved to go to the finals and—if the shitshow against Gräntfjall in Cersehorst is anything to go by—will not come anywhere near close any time soon.
— Jån-Alex Vesħandler from Ashwell

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★
The Royal Saltsteadish Football Association
Royal House of Sport, Ashwell

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AO Imperialists : Saltstead
World Cup 89 qualifying group stage — Matchday 6
Joe Gibbs Stadium, Woodstock, Atlantian Oceania
— and —
Saltstead: Brookstation
World Cup 89 qualifying group stage — Matchday 7
Park der Fründens, Cersehorst, Saltstead
Starting line-up (4–5–1): Kathrinita Äsħes; Gunner Stepħenssen, Pijr Josefssen, Johan van Tilborg, Yorg Handel; Marina Jager, Benni Sħåul, Violeta Igesleven,
Theodor Felicianus, Aleksa le Duc; Stepħanie Withöüf
Substitute bench: Julij Kåler, Christijn Sänt-Andreas; Frans Richard, Dijter Ackerdiħ, Sebastien van Can, Victoria Rothöüf; Johanne Geuberts, Nico Swart, Anne Hodmaker, Nicholas Tiberius, Aleksa Pascal; Reinhard Åubreħtssen

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[Vdara]

MD4

Check Your Locks

After that massive thrashing at the hands of Valanora, fans were hoping for a result that would put Vdara back on the right path - the path towards the top. As much as a 6-2 defeat had humbled them, their spirits were not down, and the side were ready to send the same message as they had done against Legalese - “WE ARE VDARA”.

Home Team Dressing Room
VdarArena

Markos: ”Lads, about the last match… just forget it. Forget all about it. As much as it hurt to see us get absolutely outclassed, we must move on and focus on our next objectives - specifically the game against Sendhang. Y’know, the game you’re all about to participate in. Since they’re ahead of us in the group as things stand, it would be nice if we could give them a nice big thrashing and climb right back in front of them in time for the game against Marianne - but football’s gonna football, innit. We can’t really be sure what’s going to happen out there unless you all make it happen - so, MAKE IT HAPPEN! Get that victory, thrash our opponents, get those points, and send that fucking message! Everybody got that? You all ready to play some funky-ass football?”

Everyone else: ”Fuck yeah!”

Markos: ”That’s what I love to hear, that’s the attitude I want there out on the pitch! LET’S GO AND PROVE OUR DOUBTERS WRONG!”

The match report is as follows:

Team Info
Vdara start this match with a lineup that remains unchanged from their 6-2 thrashing at the hands of first seeds and valiant victors Valanora - which has caused quite a stir online. Fans who blamed their loss on the shaky defending are reportedly surprised that David Xeniadis has not been given a place in the starting lineup due to some of Tolakis’ questionable moves against the Vanorians, but most fans seem relatively satisfied with the lineup on the pitch. Nevertheless - it’s not like they can change the lineup just by being angry online, heh.

Match Info

1: The whistle has blown for kickoff, and despite the last result - the home fans seem delighted so see their lads out on the pitch. Hopefully, they won’t get smashed 6-2 again. Here’s hoping.
12: Scafididis has the ball over on the right hand side of the pitch, but he’s launched the ball over to Manolakis on the left side, who runs towards the opposition’s 18-yard box… Manolakis cuts inside to avoid the tackle from Lumipada and goes for the shot… which flies past Wageo and gives Vdara the opening goal of the game! Alkiviadis Manolakis has started this game off with a bang, and the home fans are absolutely loving it!
27: Salahuddin has stolen the ball from the feet of Karalas, and he’s going to try and score from long range with Frangoglou off his line… WHAT A SAVE! Frangoglou runs back from outside his box to tip the ball over the crossbar with his fingertips, almost certainly stopping a certain goal!
36: Karalas slides the ball across to Tantalopoulos, who begins driving forward with the ball. Tantalopoulos shrugs off the tackle from Muhammad Bari and slips the ball through to a goal-bound Lazelis… who taps the ball into the net and doubles Vdara’s lead!
45: Well, the halftime whistle has blown, and Vdara lead the Sendhangites by two goals to nil. A pretty dominant first half, with the Sendhangites only getting one good chance - and even then, it was from far outside the box.

Back In The Dressing Room

Markos: ”Lads, I’m going to be totally honest with you - you’re doing absolutely fantastic, but I’ve been desperate for a piss for that entire first half, and I’m just going to go and do one now. I’ll be out on the pitch side later, keep doing what you’re doing for now!”

46: The match has restarted, but it looks like assistant manager Mathaios Pardakis is taking charge for the timebeing - we don’t know where Moustakakos is, but we can only wish him the best for now.
52: With no sign of Markos, it looks like Pardakis is taking the substitution decisions by himself - and it looks like Makrotsis and Xeniadis are warming up to come on.
55: A substitution announcement echoed across the stadium over the tannoy system: ”Substitution for the Home Team - Number 4, Trifonas Tolakis, is to be replaced by Number 13, David Xeniadis. In addition, Number 11, Manousos Scafididis, is to be replaced by Number 36, Mathaios Makrotsis.”
68: Makrotsis has received a long pass from Athanas, and he’s absolutely scything down the right hand side of the pitch… he crosses the ball into the path of Chirstoforos Lazelis… who headers the ball into the box and increases Vdara’s lead to 3-0! Mathaios Pardakis is pumping his fists into the air over on the touchline - and yet, there’s still no sign of the manager returning!
90: Well, the final whistle has blown, and the players are celebrating with the Assistant Manager, Mathaios Pardakis - but still, there is confusion among the fans. Where has the manager gone? Is he okay?

Home Team Dressing Room
VdarArena

Mathaios: ”Well, erm… I’m not used to being in charge of this sort of thing, but brilliant job, lads. Brilliant, brilliant job. You all played your part in that win, and with your domination the game never looked in any doubt. Now, I’m off to look for Markos, you should all get changed.”

It would later transpire that Markos Moustakakos was stuck in the men’s toilets, as the door lock was unable to be unlatched, and the toilet door had to be kicked down by the assistant manager to allow an irate Moustakakos to leave the toilets. He would later be interviewed after the game…

Interviewer: ”Markos, fans in the stadium, as well as fans all across the country were concerned about your sudden disappearance. What happened?”
Markos: ”Well, at halftime I went to the toilets to, well, do the toilet. I entered the toilet, locked the toilet door, and proceeded to empty the contents of my bladder into the toilet. However, when I was finished, I was unable to leave the toilet, as the lock on the door was stuck in the locked position.”
Interviewer: ”Were you not able to contact anyone?”
Markos: ”Nope! I had left my phone in the dressing room in my rush to go to the toilet, and was hence unable to call for help.”
Interviewer: “…how did you even get out?”
Markos: ”I heard someone coming down the corridor and began to bang on the door and shout for help. Luckily, it turned out that ‘someone’ was Mathaios, who kicked the door down. I was then able to exit the toilet, albeit in a state of rage.”
Interviewer: ”Well, thank you for that - I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to talk to us about this.”
Markos: ”I know fine well that the video of me telling that story is going to be all over the internet by tomorrow - so make sure to tell the folks at home to check that their locks are safe, because you never know when you could end up trapped in a toilet.”

Internet trolls have attributed this incident to the sentient toilets of Sylestone, who are now being ridiculed online as “manager trappers”.

[Farfadillis]

Now back in print after a brief ten-year hiatus!

Botched "Emergency Surgery" Leaves Farf Centerback Out For Six Months

Ahead of la Vherderoja's must-win game against Atheara (who are they, and why are they top of the table?), starting centerback Gëngüdó Pìgülôçô picked up a knock in training after a careless, two-footed tackle from Rülândéá Kôstä teammate Çè Sêwansé. What initially looked like a relatively minor injury has, however, turned into a career-threatening, knee-destroying injury in a lapse of four days.

Sources close to the Farfadillis national team have told the Ferdullaele Post that, initially, the Rulandese centerback's knock was expected to heal in time for the top-of-the-table match to be played tomorrow. However, as the knock seemed to be taking "waaaay too long, like, seriously, way too long" to heal. Our anonymous source, to whom we will refer by the pseudonym Mele Languele, said that the national team's manager, Lele Manguele, heroically and selflessly took it upon himself to fix Pìgülôçô's injury. Unfortunately, with no previous experience in the medical field, he appears to have torn "some ligaments, one meniscus, I think, I'm not a doctor, and a finger cause someone, definitely not him, dropped the knife at one point."

This might prove a blessing in disguise for la Vherderoja, as Pìgülôçô was the weak link in defense. Savojar-born, not-Farf-at-all Vyacheslav Khavarin is expected to start in his stead. The tall, hulking centerback is having a fantastic season for La Nueva Avenida so far, so he is expected to impress. Regarding this, our sources had the following to say: "Yeah, Khavarin might end up being better. In that case, I guess you could argue the doctor did nothing wrong. Also, he is young and very handsome."

Today's Top Stories:
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Cryptocurrency cult takes control of five provinces in eastern Induja
How other countries are coping with the Farf migrant crisis: number five will surprise you! It involves nuking Farfadillis
Why the music the youth listen to these days is kind of cool, actually
"Delicious Appetizer or Horrible Hemorrhoids?" Brand new mushroom hunting guide becomes best-seller in Kruviš

[Graintfjall]

Author’s note: When writing a romantic comedy, an important element is giving the leads good dialogue. Who can forget the hi-lar-ious scene in Love Actually where the Prime Minister invokes the dying calls of 9/11 victims to justify his belief in romantic love?!?! (A scene the writer Will Self said was the most disgusting work of propaganda since the plane emerged from the clouds over Munich in Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will! In this scene, I’ve tried to give Jason Þórhallursson and Amanda Guttisdóttir a wide range of naturalistic yet fulsome dialogue, showing off their eloquence, and adding what is hopefully a lyrical, almost poetic quality to my writing.

---

It was the morning after Hjörleifur Reynarsson’s wedding. Across various floors of the One Seasons Hotel in Háttmark, footballers and other invited dignitaries were waking with aching heads and feet – the heads from the copious alcohol that had flowed as toast after toast was thrown back from the drinking horns that had been provided by a wedding that, from gender-segregated dining room (Ari Hlynursbur had politely declined the exactly equicentral footstool and instead just taken a spare seat along the end on the women’s side) to the ‘Slaying of the Kraken’, which involved throwing firecrackers at a long paper kraken model while the married couple ‘escaped’, had been very much a traditional Græntfjaller affair; the feet from dancing the night away on a ballroom floor specially reinforced with titanium rods and a carbon-fibre substructure in order to withstand the pounding of so many Big Fucking Feet within a narrow area.

Traditional though the wedding may have been, there were some nods to the new Græntfjall that Hjörleifur and his glamorous* wife represented. For example, Emeli Vilbertsdóttir had been the ‘best man’, with Hjörleifur giving a moving groom’s toast in which he’d praised her as worthy of the honor (and delicately eliding the fact that, given most of his BFG friends struggled with their letters, she was one of the few who could actually read a speech out loud). Now Emeli was nursing a pounding headache as she remembered taking turns doing shots with Elektra Lúthersdóttir (whose purgatory tendencies had later been visited in the basket of one particularly unfortunate flower girl). Karoline Vernerisdóttir and her wife Stephanie Gunnersdóttir had stuck to clear liquids; unfortunately, in each case they’d consumed around a gallon of said clear liquids, and were currently groaning in mutual sympathy from the laundry closet where they’d slept after failing to find their room key (it was in Karoline’s dress, which was currently, for reasons they couldn’t recall, being worn by a sheep, whom it did not particularly fit).

At the breakfast buffet, different strategies were in evidence. Some, such as Hanne Heikkisdóttir, were attempting to eat their way through their hangovers. She was shovelling down eggs at a rate that would please her Stakhanovite idols.** Kyrri Torbjørnsson had remained in his room: the buffet had a ‘no shirt no service’ rule specifically because of his own wedding last year, to Eiríka Jonathansdóttir, who was loading up a plate full of cured meats and smoked fish to take up to her husband. Vigfús Bensson, former Steinaux defender, now plying his trade in Flavovovovovovoespia, was devouring two plates at once, the other having been left unattended by Eir Bjarnfinnursdóttir, who was asleep under the table. Justiina Dannysdóttir was face down in a bowl of Frosti Flakes; the occasional bubbling of the milk provided reassurance she hadn’t drowned.

On the other hand, many were forsaking food entirely, chief among them Elektra, who was currently “watering” a potted plant to the horror of the concierge, and Amanda Guttisdóttir, who looked particularly green and had thrown up almost as much as had Elektra, despite no one having her seen drink very much – or indeed, at all – the previous night. Hiding behind a pair of traditionally big, traditionally awful Græntfjaller sunglasses, *** Amanda grunted in acknowledgement as Emeli came to sit beside her.

“So that was quite a party.”

“Uh,” said Amanda.

“Shit got crazy! Did you see Li Jing having a breakdance contest with Sara!?”

“Uh,” said Amanda.

Emeli was nursing a bowl sized cup of coffee, into which she deposited a couple packs of sugar. “It was nice, though. Gave them a great send off.”

“Uh,” said Amanda.

“You didn’t drink much. Every time there was a toast you were pouring out your horn. I didn’t even see you have any champagne when they cut the cake!”

“Uh,” said Amanda.

Emeli reached out and slid down the sunglasses so she could study her old friend’s face. The eyes were bleary, but Amanda didn’t look hungover: rather, she looked nauseous, a look Emeli, Elektra’s closest teammate, knew very well. Her voice dropped a note.

“Kinda weird. Huh. Everyone drinking themselves silly – Kalle actually chugged a barrel. And here you are, not letting a drop pass your lips, and looking green as a sailor on a kraken-tossed sea.”

“Uh,” said Amanda.

Emeli stirred her sugar (it no longer had the basic chemical properties of coffee) and took a sip. “Amanda, you know that if you were pregnant, you could tell me, right?”

Amanda reached out and took back her sunglasses. She slid them back up her nose with the tip of her finger. Then she reached for Emeli’s coffee cup, and took a sip. She winced at the sweetness.

“Uh,” she said, very quietly, as Emeli embraced her in a hug.

---

Meanwhile, there was a furious knocking at the door of Jason Þórhallursson’s hotel room. He’d phoned down to order some room service. Still, the pounding seemed unnecessary. He rose from bed and crossed the room, answering the door and blinking into the harsh light of the corridor. There was no server with a breakfast tray. Instead standing there was Petter Erlingsson.”

“Um,” said Jason.

“Jason, I’m glad I caught you.” Petter caught his hand and offered a firm handshake, then walked into the room, without waiting to be invited. Or for Jason to put any pants on.

“Um,” said Jason.

Petter might be an observant Catholic and regarded as something of a golden boy – never once booked in professional football, multiple Spirit of Football Award winner – but even he had enjoyed some drinks last night, celebrating his friend’s marriage – and, as the night wore on, bemoaning the demise of his own. It was at that point that Jason, who had no desire to be sucker punched with a fist that had rosary wrapped around it, had started to give him a wider berth. The last he had seen of him, Petter had been crooning Without You by Harry Nilsson**** into what he seemed to believe was a microphone but was in fact Mathias Kristersson’s head.

“Jason, we have to talk. This bad blood between us, it can’t go on.”

As Petter explained with rapid hand movements, Jason put some pants on, with equally rapid hand movements, adding his own thoughts on the matter: “Um.”

“I was angry. I was humiliated. I was – I won’t lie, I may even have taken the name of our savior in vain.”

Jason wondered why he’d taken Igrene Cantor’s name in vain. “Um,” he queried.

“Lord Jesus Christ may he absolve me.”

That made more sense, actually. “Um,” he offered.

“But that’s in the past. Karlí has a right to her own life. I hope you too are very happy together. I said some hurtful things – I hope you can forgive me. That we can move on. And form an effective partnership together. In football, and in life.”

“Um,” said Jason.

“Jason, I want to embrace you – as my brother.” And Petter did, while Jason flinched, less at the hug, and more at the choice of wording.

“Um,” he said.

Petter smiled, wiping a tear from his eye, and took a step back. “We should go get some breakfast: I don’t know about you, but I could do with something to soak it all up!” He laughed, and sat down on Jason’s bed, or more exactly, on the lump under the sheets on Jason’s bed.

“Um,” said Jason. “Ow,” said the lump under his sheets.

Petter was not smiling in a mood of brotherly love. But, thankfully, his worst fears were not confirmed when he pulled back the sheets. He didn’t find his ex-wife under there. Less thankfully, fears he hadn’t even feared to fear were instead realized.

“Júlíanna!?” said Petter.

“Hi Petter,” said Júlíanna Erlingsdóttir, his sister.

“Um,” said Jason.

---

* The Græntfjaller words for “glamorous” and “trashy” are very close.
** This bit of editorial commentary on her left-wing views brought to you by Græntfjall’s arch-right political leanings.
*** As previously mentioned in an RP I can’t find, bulky Græntfjaller sunglasses from the communist era, protection against winter blindness from the abundant snow, are a peculiar retro fashion hit.
**** A song completely unrelated to Without You by Harry Nilsson IRL. The Græntfjaller version has a lot more references to krakens.

[Ethane]

Crucial draw could be big

Coming into this campaign, fans knew that it was going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions. As has always been in Ethane's football history, the team have euphoric highs and crushing lows. Look to the last World Cup and we scored some big results against top teams (especially towards the end of the campaign) yet lost games that should have been easy wins, dooming us to the Cup of Harmony.

To say they've been surprised by the performances so far is an understatement. The Red Kites have been on fire, absolutely and undoubtedly. Five games in and they sit atop the group having won all but 1 of their games. A key victory against South Covello started out the campaign for the team, and it's only been up from there.

The team breezed past Murphtannia in an easy affair for the third pot team in group 8. Fielding a weakened team with eyes on the next match against Savigliane, the team looked as if it were full strength. It was a slow start - the players were in no rush to inflict the damage on Murphtannia. However, the team gelled and began to get in the game, starting to look dangerous in every offensive action. Palmer was the first to find the back of the net, burying it from 20 yards out with a slick shot into the top left of the goal. Half-time saw the team maintain their lead, with their opponents failing to get even a shot on target during the first half. Immediately after the break, for a brief moment it looked like Murphtannia would bring some fight to the game and pose some challenge to the Red Kites. This challenge was quickly reduced to nothing though, with Aboud scoring an easy goal one-on-one with the keeper on the counter after the opposition had committed too many people forward. It was plain sailing from there, but devoid of many chances - on a few occasions Aboud, Palmer, and the subs went wide. Murphtannia lacked any real tactical nous to dig themselves out of the hole and claw back a result from the game though, and it ended 2-0.

The key result of the international break was not against Murphtannia though. That came against top pot team Savigliane. The highest ranked team in the group, the Swans posed perhaps the biggest challenge to the qualification chances of the Red Kites. Tlanx-Nulzk Hal, the Savigliane manager, had really pushed their team for this qualification campaign, hoping to win the group and win their first knockout match in a tournament. Their large focus on Tlanxball and their offensive orientation compliments the Red Kites well, but could open up chinks in the armour of Ethane and other teams in the group. Honestly, the game plan had to be score early and defend.

That's exactly what happened. Savigliane had the best of the opening chances, Coste coming close within the first two minutes of the game and only denied by a great block from Wilburn-Mason. The pressure was all-encompassing, with ten men behind the ball for the first ten minutes. The way the early minutes of this game had been going, Ethane just did not have an answer for Savigliane's Tlanxball. Toscani blazed wide, and Coste had another chance go close, saved by the Ethanian keeper calmly.

The Red Kites quickly realised that things had to change, and that they were being suffocated. A little tactical adjustment saw Montoya push a little further up the pitch, close to Burgess to prepare for a counter attack. The team needed to work it out quickly on the counter, exploiting the fact that Savigliane were committing a lot of players forward early on to open up the Ethanian defence and get an early goal. It's a tactic as old as time, and can be quite effective at demoralising a team. But the Red Kites would not let it get to that, and would not be demoralised. Not with such a big result on the line.

The break came in the 12th minute. Scott Burgess received a long pass from Wilburn-Mason, who had collected it from Coste with a quick tackle. It was more of a clearance, but Burgess managed to get on the end of it and control it. He found himself in space and was able to move forward, passing Marchetti and then squaring to Montoya who had come with him. Montoya was able to get on the end of it and blaze it past D'Ambrosio, who was practically left rooted to the spot considering the amount of power the Ethanian had put on it. One-nil up. The game plan was a go.

With the pressure off, the Red Kites defended just that little bit less nervy. Their positioning was better. They didn't panic. They remained calm. And when the opportunity arose, they broke on the counter. Coste continued to threaten, forcing Velazquez into a couple of good saves and dives. The Ethanian defence also had to remain on their toes, with the midfield - especially Toscani - keeping them on their toes. But Ethane also had a few opportunities of their own, albeit few and far between with the main gameplan now just absorbing the pressure. Burgess almost had a chance to score himself on the break, but the ball from Ellis-Wood was perhaps weight a little bit too much, and D'Ambrosio was able to get to the ball first and collect it. Ruiz also found space on the wings and charged in from both sides - he took up a position with a little more freedom to find the gaps. Garcia managed to make a number of crucial tackles throughout the game to keep Ruiz out though.

Ethane went into the half with the advantage their way, and the kickoff to start things off. An early break gave hope that they would double their lead, but Burgess wasn't able to find a way through. Once again, Nathan Walker made sure that his team stuck religiously to the game plan. Defend. Absorb pressure. Let them come to us, and break on the counter. It certainly handed Savigliane a majority of the possession, especially in the second half where the Red Kites slowly sat deeper and deeper, willing themselves on to keep that scoreline intact.

On numerous occasions, it was at risk. Buvalelli came close in the 53rd minute, just stopped by Velazquez bearing down on them and putting them off. Marchetti also had an opportunity, but went for power over accuracy and it went wide. Yet the Ethanian defence remained strong and resolute, determined to guard their lead.

It couldn't last. The amount of pressure kept pushing the team backwards - ten men behind the ball, throwing themselves at it when it came their way. The end came in the 67th minute. Buvalelli had found a little bit of space on the left, squeezing past the defensive line. They were out wide, unable to shoot from the angle but well positioned to cross it in. With James bearing down, Buvalelli cut the ball back. Toscani hit it first time. It wasn't a perfect shot. It wasn't a special shot. But it was on target, and it beat the keeper. That's all that matters, in the end.

The last 20 minutes were a nervy affair for both teams. Neither wanted to push too much and jeopardise the point they already had, knowing how much it meant in the grand scheme of the campaign. But both were wanting to score that goal and take all three. Any offensive move was teneous, neither team really committing or dedicating enough players forward to break the discipline of the opposite team. On multiple occasions a few mistakes were made, giving chances. But no one seemed to have the nerve to step up and say I'm going to be the match winner today. And so no one did.

This result hurts Savigliane more than it hurts the Red Kites. The Swans are the top ranked side in this group, and have already dropped points beside this game during the campaign. They've not had the perfect start. But Ethane have. This game is the end of a clean sheet run that stretches the first four games of the campaign. They've won 4 out of 5 and drawn just this one against a higher ranked side - you know you have a chance when you steal points, away from home, against the higher ranked sides. With the momentum they have from the first five games of the campaign, Ethane look set to push on and win the group if they can hold it all together, qualifying legitimately to their first World Cup in a decent while.

[Savigliane]

LA REPUBBLICA
Where The Capital Gets Its News
BREAKING: GIULIANI'S DEPARTURE LIKELY AFTER QUALIFIERS
MATTEO CAMPARI, sports

ACQUI BOLLENTE -- Sources within the Savigliano FA this morning confirmed that national team assistant manager Marco Giuliani would likely be leaving his position at the conclusion of World Cup Qualifiers. While Giuliani and the Swans parting ways is hardly unexpected - the ex-EDC Fossano and Parakleion Firebirds manager reportedly made himself available in the previous transfer window - it is believed that the new decision was made by Tlanx-Nulzk Hal, who has repeatedly clashed with Giuliani since the latter's appointment. While Tlanx reportedly requested a new assistant manager after last cycle's CAFA Cup, the push to force Giuliani out gained strong momentum in the FA after his appointment to the U21 Managerial position ended in disaster.

First reports of tension between Giuliani and the two-time Galactico Manager of the Year first surfaced around the run-up to the inaugural CAFA Cup, but likely began around the time that Tlanx controversially decided to call Bianca Fiore up to the national team over Giuliani's preferred choice, Hofvinger's Nathaniel Auvergne. Then, Giuliani strongly criticized Tlanx's focus on "establishing a style" or "narrative convenience" over actual results on the field. While Tlanx has yet to respond publicly to the challenge, it is believed that the Qusmi felt seriously undercut by their assistant manager, and had already begun privately canvassing for assistant manager candidates before formally requesting Giuliani's departure.

Giuliani, a forward who primarily played in SavigLega 2 during his playing days, first rose to prominence at EDC Fossano, then a midtable second-tier club. Giuliani took over and implemented a unique blend of attacking football not dissimilar to modern Tlanxball, leading to a meteoric rise up the table and four seasons of top-flight football (which pretty much ended immediately after the departures of Giuliani and star striker Thea Squarciafichi). After outgrowing Fossano (reportedly also feuding with the board over transfer targets), Giuliani opted to go abroad, to Tikariot's Parakleion Firebirds. His season-plus in the TPL was an unmitigated disaster that ended with the team languishing in the relegation spots before he was sacked. While largely unsuccessful in Rushmore, his managerial style earned attention from the FA following Natalia Rossi's departure to Kelssek's Kirkenes FC, and he was appointed assistant manager before WCQ 88.

However, despite his clear talent at managing players and implementing attractive attack-minded football, both of which helped contribute to Savigliane's dominant qualifying campaign and Ro16 appearance, Giuliani has never quite fit into the Tlanxball Revolution. While his pragmatism and will to win earned fans within the FA, who were yet to be entirely convinced by a full stylistic commitment to Tlanxball, the lack of actual results from his stint at Parakleion (as well as an underwhelming final season with Fossano) raised some red flags for someone viewed as a more pragmatic option than Tlanx. While Giuliani still had enough support to earn him a second chance managing the U21 team, the Cygnets slumped to an abysmal 1-1-3 group stage record at the Di Bradini Cup, raising further questions over whether Giuliani is a winning manager who could help establish a culture.

And, indeed, while Giuliani looks for new positions, the move is indicative of the FA fully committing to establishing a national culture of Tlanxball, both at the senior and junior levels. While it's unclear who the next assistant manager of the Swans will be after this qualifying campaign, it's rumored that Tlanx is essentially being given a blank check to appoint the person who will replace Giuliani. Whoever is chosen could have a massive impact on the tactical and stylistic landscape of Swans football, and could likely represent the future of Tlanxball and the Savigliano national team.

[South Newlandia]

It's MD6/7 and everything is still possible. If someone claims you're already out -

[Flavovespia]

Commonwealth of Baker Park 2 - 1 Flavovespia

PH: Hello and welcome to Matchday 4 of the World Cup Qualifiers. Flavovespia are possibly facing their toughest test of the whole campaign, an away tie at Commonwealth of Baker Park. Joining me today is a name synonymous with the national team for many years, its midfielder James King. 140 caps, 16 goals, you had an outstanding career, welcome to the show!

JK: Thank you Patrick, it’s very nice to be here.

PH: So on paper this is the toughest game that Flavovespia will face. As someone who was there right from the start, how do the players cope with being the underdog away from home?

JK: It’s imperative to understand your game plan, your tactics, they’ll be preparing beforehand for a match where possession could be at a premium. Focus and not letting the occasion get to the players is essential.

PH: There’s a sense Flavovespia have a bit of expectation on them to finally get a result against a higher ranked side, and the loss to Jeruselem didn’t help. Do you agree?

JK: In some respects yes, as cliché as it sounds “to be the best you must beat the best” is true. But it isn’t as easy on paper, and opponents can certainly step up their game when they see an opponent closer in the ranks to them. Some nations are just better suited to playing nations closer to them.

PH: You were widely regarded as one of the top midfielders of your generation, a few Hive posts even suggesting you should come back, what do Flavovespia’s midfield need to do?

JK: First of all thanks, that’s very generous, although I must admit my international football days are behind me now. It’s about knowing who’s where, the timing and the instinct, not just about being able to hit a long pass well for example. As an analogy it’s like a chess game, when you move what are you trying to do, how will your opponent move to counter that, and how do you then move after that? That sixth sense of where the opportunities on the pitch are and utilising them, that’s where the great teams beat the good teams.

PH: Thanks James, some very thoughtful insights there. We now travel to President’s Park, Shirley for this encounter.


Kick-off: We’re underway here in President’s Park. Commonwealth of Baker Park have unusually adopted an all-white kit, leaving Flavovespia to play in their traditional home colours instead. 2 changes for Flavovespia, Dance and Player replace Blythe and Clarkson.

15 minutes: The opening 15 minutes of this game have been tentative. Commonwealth of Baker Park have had the majority of possession, but have largely been camped in the midfield. A good high press is preventing Flavovespia getting much joy moving the ball forward, although Cole is certainly lurking on the shoulder, and was nearly played through, but for some good defending by Kelly O’Connell.

30 minutes: The game may still be level, but Commonwealth of Baker Park are growing into it, Flavovespia yet to register a shot on target. Commonwealth of Baker Park have had a few efforts on goal, although nothing you’d describe as a “should score that”. Credit certainly goes to the back 4 of Flavovespia, this is a testing game, and so far they’re holding up well.

34 minutes: GOAL! And Commonwealth of Baker Park have the breakthrough! Serena McDavid showed some brilliant skill there, a darting run into the box unfazed by Kieron Player and then Alexander May who tried to close her down. Her pass was perfectly placed for DeAngelo Simmons to fire in the opener from 12 metres out. 1-0 to Commonwealth of Baker Park, and it’s probably deserved on the balance of things.

Half Time: Commonwealth of Baker Park 1 – 0 Flavovespia. Commonwealth of Baker Park have the lead, and they are the better side on balance. Credit to Flavovespia however, they’re still in this game, and certainly against a side with 9 consecutive World Cup appearances are performing reasonably well. They do need to find a goal however.

49 minutes: GOAL! It is an equaliser, almost from nothing. Playing out from the back, Michael Cole successfully charges down a long ball forward, and runs towards goal. His low cross across the face of goal has too much pace on it for Scott Coleman to reach, but it runs through to Steven Hall who shoots and scores at the far post. All square, can either side find a winner?

60 minutes: Flavovespia probably had the best chance to take the lead, they’re making a habit of starting the second half well. Cole played Coleman through the middle, and the striker was one on one. The shot however was straight down the throat of Zach Johnston, he barely had to move to save it.

67 minutes: GOAL! The hosts restore their lead. It’s Nicki Stone who gets her name on the scoresheet. Plenty of white shirts pile forward in this attack, and after Simmons sees his shot saved by Aarif Muhammad, no Flavovespian can get to the ball to clear. Stone just inside the box takes a snapshot at goal, the shot is powerful but keeps low and finds its way into the bottom corner of the net.

75 minutes: McCormick is urging his side onwards, he’s looking down at the bench to try and figure out a way to get an equaliser. David Blythe and Kishan Rees are warming up, it seems he’s throwing on the wing backs to try and open up space on the wings.

90 minutes: Injury time is upon much, and not too much of it unfortunately for Flavovespia. Commonwealth of Baker Park have kept up the intensity, and it looks like there’s little time or space for Flavovespia to mount one last push at goal. Neil Wright came on for Alexander May, although that looked like May was carrying a minor knock, rather than tactical.

Full Time: Commonwealth of Baker Park 2 – 1 Flavovespia. Flavovespia’s performance wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good enough to take anything from this game. Commonwealth of Baker Park will be happy with 3 points, and the performance of debutant Serena McDavid. Back to the studio.


PH: A tough game for Flavovespia, a loss in the end. How will the players feel after that James?

JK: Inevitably they’ll be disappointed, you always are after a loss no matter who the opposition is. It’s tough as well when you do go behind, get the equaliser, have a chance at taking the lead, and then lose. But in a way there’s positives to take, it was a close scoreline and the players know this wasn’t seen as a “must win” game.

PH: Of course the takes that Flavovespia can’t win against anyone good have cropped up, is that fair?

JK: It’s harsh on the players to put that pressure on them now. I don’t like the idea that 4 games in to the qualifiers, criticism is coming in this early on because of that. You simply can’t expect the management to make big changes and play the blame game because we lost by a goal away to an impressive side.

PH: Ultimately the goal is to qualify, is there a chance this time it can happen?

JK: It’s a cliché but with 14 games left, anything can happen. Teams like Vilita, Banija, Ko-oren, they’re strong teams who’ve not started well so far, there’s many games left for quality to shine through. Plus I suspect when you look at the first 4 fixtures, Flavovespia would’ve anticipated maybe only having 6 points so far. There’s plenty of time left.

PH: Thanks James for coming on the show. Next time, we return to Hadford Hill, where Polkopia will be the visitors for Flavovespia. Undefeated so far, can they keep that run up? See you soon!

Flavovespia 0 - 1 Polkopia

PH: Hello and welcome, you join us as Flavovespia prepare to take on Polkopia at Highland Road. Flavovespia are returning home after a mixed bag of results in their last 2 away games. Polkopia are undefeated so far, with 2 wins and 2 draws, the unranked side certainly impressing so far. So Hunter and Harris, our 2 commentators, what do Flavovespia need to do here?

SH: Well to put it simply, win. These are the sorts of games that, if you want to qualify, you really do need to win. Polkopia have made an impressive start, but anything less than a win, you’d have to consider it 2 or 3 points dropped.

AH: A win would certainly do Flavovespia some favours, they couldn’t get a result against Jeruselem or Baker Park. Were points against them expected? Not really. Has that stopped fans getting on the players back a bit? Not really. A win today would set up the momentum going forward.

PH: It’s almost kick-off here, the atmosphere in Highland Road, as ever is formidable, back over to our commentary team.


Kick-off: Flavovespia get us underway, in their yellow and black home kit. Polkopia in their away white kit, a fine kit as well if you ask me. No changes to the squad that lost against Commonwealth of Baker Park, stability for now favoured by McCormick.

15 minutes: Flavovespia seeing more of the ball, and trying to make the home advantage count. No goals still, the closest effort coming from Hadford Hill born and raised Steven Hall, his shot from the right just a little wide of the far post, not enough curve on it.

19 minutes: GOAL! Oh and against the run of play, the opener goes to Polkopia. It was a long ball in from Stepen Azarov, that didn’t initially look threatening. But Yakoby Kosyo was on full alert, sprinting after it. Tony Gardner was left flat on his feet in pursuit. Aarif Muhammad rushed out to close down the ball, but too late. Kosyo got there first, and then chipped the ball, and it looped up and down and into the net, before Alexander May could get back and clear off the line. 0-1 to Polkopia, a careless goal to concede by Flavovespia, and yet again they find themselves behind.

30 minutes: The atmosphere certainly isn’t positive here, every slight error seems to be met by audible groans from the audience. Flavovespia look rattled as well, the defensive line have dropped back to stop the threat over the top, and Polkopia look more determined in the centre of the park now. A testing hour of football to go, but at least Flavovespia’s attacking players are making the right moves.

33 minutes: There’s a video review here for a potential red card. Following a free kick headed away in the box, Vadim Išutin collected the ball. Robert Totten went in strongly to get the ball, and although he did, he clattered into Išutin, with Totten’s foot catching Išutin’s right leg quite high up. Totten is implying Išutin is making a meal of it as he lies on the grass, Danya Siyan certainly thinks otherwise, storming in to make his feelings known to Totten.

34 minutes: RED CARD! And the video review gives a red card to Robert Totten. He’s furious, and so too are the home crowd. The row between several players has been broken up, with Siyan called over. And it’s just a yellow card for him, further boos ring out with the home crowd wanting red for Siyan’s reaction. So do several Flavovespian’s on the pitch, captain Steven Hall is in fierce debate with the referee, so too are Michael Cole, Robert Totten taking an age to leave the field, and Alexander May who’s ran quite a distance to get involved. But the arguments are to no avail, and the referee makes clear if the Flavovespians don’t clear off soon, further cards will follow.

Half Time: Well the loud boos sum up the first half. With 10 men it looked like Flavovespia just wanted to see out this half at 0-1 and regroup. For now the formation looks to be a 4-3-2, with Hall dropping back into the midfield trio. Credit to Polkopia however, this isn’t a lead obtained just because of mistakes and a red card, They’ve defended well, took their chances, and Flavovespia haven’t really had a true clear-cut chance to score.

60 minutes: Unfortunately for Flavovespia, there’s further issues with David Lyons going down injured. It was a challenge with Petro Marčuk that, despite the crowd’s protestations, wasn’t dirty or malicious. Marčuk went for the ball, just missed it and Lyons unfortunately landed awkwardly. It looks like a right shoulder or arm injury, but it’s enough for him to taken off with the assistance of the physios, Kishan Rees now in place.

75 minutes: Both teams have had a few chances to score, in a game opening up here. Kosyo came close to adding a second to his tally, but Alexander May put in a good block in front of him to deflect the ball away. Kishan Rees showed some attacking content, flying down the wing. He put in a decent cross, but Lev Rusakov did just enough to head it over the bar, a bit of a heart stopping moment for Polkopia.

90 minutes: Oh a dreadful miss by Flavovespia a few minutes ago! Michael Cole was played in behind the back by a brilliant pass by Steven Hall. Vladimir Hužyak came off his line, and although Cole did chip him, the fingertips of Hužyak deflected the ball onto the bar. It rebounded into the path of Scott Coleman. Hužyak wasn’t yet back in position, and with only defender Ruskaov between Coleman and goal, Coleman blasted the ball over the bar. A shocking miss by Flavovespia’s top goalscorer. He comes off, and making his debut in his domestic home stadium is Robert Cooper, with only injury time left.

Full Time: Well the crowd voice their displeasure. Flavovespia have lost 0-1 to Polkopia. The visitors did basically everything right, to come away with the 3 points and they deserve the plaudits for playing the situation of the game perfectly. Flavovespia will see this as a blown opportunity, and the frustrations are there for all to see. The post-match handshakes certainly are through gritted teeth from some of the Flavovespians.


PH: Well Flavovespia on the wrong side of a Qualifiers upset. A few key incidents swung this game, the goal, the red card, and the missed sitter at the end. Take us through the three incidents.

AH: I think the goal Flavovespia conceded will be very disappointed by. Dance maybe could’ve pressed Azarov more, but full backs aren’t always told to do that. It was poor from such an experienced defender like Gardner to let Kosyo get free. Poor awareness as well from Aarif Muhammad, to not see the danger, and end up in that “no man’s land”.

SH: Not much I’d add to that really, mistakes by Gardner and Aarif Muhammad, players who should be key for this side, and it’s costly. As for the red card, well I’ll be brutally honest I don’t get it really. The ball had bobbled up a bit, I don’t see how Totten is to blame for going for it, and why that’s a red card personally. It’s a blunder by the referee, and I do question the video review.

AH: I’d actually disagree on the red card for Totten. He did go in with a high boot, and caught an opponent high. Players should know that’s going to be a red, and unfortunately for Flavovespia, that’s how the referee saw it. As for Siyan, I’m going back on forth on if that should be a yellow or red. Nobody should be storming in, but players will stick up for their teammates. Plus I’ve commentated on games where if one player in a fight gets a red, you could be showing, 5, 6, reds. The miss at the end though, well what can you say?

SH: That really is harder to miss than score. In a situation like this, and where the qualifiers chances have been at a bit of a premium, you can’t afford to miss those at all. You can argue whether the bounce or ball spin was an issue, and the fact it was hit on the half-volley. But then you can take a touch! He had the time!

PH: Final question, McCormick, keep him or fire him?

SH: Keep for the next 2 games, but I think he needs 3 or 4 points to justify that, by MD9 I think we can’t afford to be 5 points or more off of 2nd.

AH: I’d keep him for now, the circumstances of this result weren’t to do with his management.

PH: Well that’s all, a disappointing day at the office. Coming up next, a visit to the CAFA Cup Champions, Aut-Ves-Nat, then we’ll travel down the M3 to Marthorpe, where Flavovespia host Xanneria. Until next time, goodbye!

[Krytenia]

You Ort To Worry
By Rami Niblick in Catrallo, San Ortelio

WHEN it comes to places to travel in a World Cup qualifying campaign, there are certainly worse places to land than San Ortelio. It's one of the friendliest nations going, with picturesque scenery, beautiful architecture, and local dishes to die for. The warm welcome, though, did not extend to the Krytenian squad when they got onto the pitch as they were made to work their collective backsides off for an important three points.

The home side may have set their stall out to defend, but that doesn't mean they lack pace going forward. Krytenia found this out the hard way, as when Robert Reeder's corner was thumped clear by Giuseppe Rocca, the footrace was won by Carmine Garofalo, and with ten of the eleven men in red shirts still upfield of him, he kept his cool one-on-one with Robert Wilson to put the Swordfish into a shock lead. This, for Paul Davis and his charges, was most definitely not in the script.

With their side in front, and the visitors more cautious in their attack, the pace of the game slowed massively. Krytenia carried the lion's share of possession, but the balls played were safe lateral and backward passes, with the front three seemingly content to collectively work off the San Ortelio back five, waiting for a mistake that just wasn't coming. As the half drew on, the game was in danger of descending into a snorefest as the Dragons seemed unwilling or unable to take a risk against a team happy to get men behind the ball and protect their lead. Krytenia's best chance of the half came in stoppage time, when Max Snelders decided to have a pop from range; the ball deflected off Pietro Mazziero and to the feet of Ciaran Rafferty. The Hibs striker, though, snatched his shot, and it was a routine save in the end for Enrico Lanzafame in the San Ortelio goal.

With his team still struggling at the hour mark, Davis felt it was time for a change to get the side moving. Off came a largely ineffective Oliver Selhurst and a visibly tiring Snelders, with Carlos Senna and Andrew Asprilla coming on in their place. Senna immediately injected pace down the left flank, allowing Cande Montalban to drift inside and ask some questions; Asprilla, meanwhile, unpredictable as ever, proved the joker in the pack. The Lunas playmaker unleashed his box of tricks, with skillful dribbles and inspired passing stretching the hitherto well-disciplined San Ortelio defence and creating the first few cracks in the sky blue wall. Indeed, it was a moment of trickery that created the equaliser, Asprilla dragging and swerving past Rocca before releasing Alun Belmwr to drive the ball home.

The goal restored confidence within the men in red shirts, and the winner came a few minutes from time. As with the opening goal of the game, a clearance from a Reeder corner was where it started; this time, though, the clearance landed at the feet of Billy Price, who launched the ball back into the box for Montalban to connect with at the far post. The small but passionate crowd at Il Olimpico were silenced, and Krytenia escaped with their 100% record intact for another game.

With five wins from five, Krytenia remain in the driving seat. Their next two matches, though, will not be taken lightly, as both Kandorith and Adab are teams of some reasonable ability. With Pasarga remaining hard on their tails, the Dragons will be hoping to keep their noses in front and keep their winning streak going. If they do, it'll make their Matchday Nine slobberknocker look much less intimidating. Onward!

SAN ORTELIO - 1
Garofalo 6

KRYTENIA - 2
Belmwr 71
Montalban 88

[Pyazhnaya]

-- The World Cup 89 is covered by Kathleen Negretti and Clayton Tavernier --

After our "Behind the Nation" series on Baptism of Fire winner Pyazhnaya had proved to be a big success we have decided to continue it into the qualifying coverage for the World Cup 89 as well and today we will take a look at the sports landscape of Pyazhnaya, which should be of particular interest to our readers.

The most popular sport, unsurprisingly, is football with the Pyazhnaya Pervaya Liga as top division of the still developing pyramid. Having emerged only 17 seasons ago after the Civil War in the country, it has been the only professional tier of Pyazhnayan football with 18 teams in a closed league without promotion or relegation.

When the Pyazhnaya Football Federation announced the planned foundation of the Pervaya Liga, 27 clubs applied for admission to the league, which was designed to have a total of 18 teams competing for the Pyazhnayan championship. The two main selection criteria in the first round were merits on the field as well as location, ensuring representation of every province in the nation before running a second round of admissions to come to a total of 18 teams, where certain economic criteria also were taken into consideration.

The founding teams of the Pervaya Liga were:
Izumrud Province: FK Krasnograd, Torpedo Krasnograd, Dinamo Krasnograd, Armada Sovran, Legion Vostrakhan, Kompas Livropol
Severoyarsk Province: Mazhny Park Severoyarsk, Molniya Sarakhovo
Buran Province: FK Yarkuta, Atlantis Buraskva
Azhrak Province: FK Armaskoye, Admiral Tverinsk, Taiga Tverinsk
Umatra Province: Golubaya Zvezda Ochuromorsk
Khilya Province: Shakhter Khilyovsk
Tamir Province: FK Vselitamak, Sila Saykonur
Chernyye Ostrova: Prizrachnaya Brigada Cherniy Zamok

With a total of six championships in 17 seasons, Torpedo Krasnograd from the capital is the most decorated club in the league, however in the all-time table local rivals FK Krasnograd have been able to take advantage of a few mediocre seasons to take the lead. Tamirian FK Vselitamak has enjoyed tremendous recent success in recent years, however, winning the three last editions of the Pervaya Liga, moving into third position of the all-time table and continuing to aim high.

Only six of the 18 teams have managed to win the trophy, Torpedo Krasnograd six times, FK Krasnograd and FK Vselitamak three times each, and Armada Sovran and Sila Saykonur once each.

The Pyazhnayan Football Federation has very recently announced that from next season on the Pyazhnayan football pyramid will be extended with a semi-professional 16 team Second Division and likely a semi-professional/amateur Third Division, with the initiation of promotion and relegation between the leagues also beginning with next season, in an attempt to continue furthering the growth of Pyazhnayan football, also spurned by the recent successes of the Pyazhnayan national football team.

For the national team, despite our extensive coverage of Baptism of Fire 76, it would be remiss not to take a look back at it for completion's sake and obvious relevance in the context of the World Cup 89 qualifying campaign. In a remarkable event Pyazhnaya managed a very rare feat with a perfect record of nine wins in nine games, taking the footballing world by storm and putting this prestigious trophy into their cabinet, marking a tremendous second step into the international world of footballing after reaching the quarter finals of the inaugural CAFA tournament with their first. Now expectations for their first ever World Cup qualifying campaign are fairly high, but obviously the Federation is trying to remain realistic given the level of competition, having been drawn into the same group with, among others, reigning World Cup champions Turori, reigning Copa Rushmori champions Sargossa and TJUN-ia, but nevertheless they are hoping to be able to bring the momentum with them to at least cause some smaller surprises in the process.

For the second biggest sport in the archipelago, it is a close race between (ice) hockey and bandy, which are both rivals and also connected as some clubs participate in both. At this moment there are no organized leagues for either sport, but there have been talks about establishing domestic leagues and potentially also national teams to compete on international levels, especially during the winter months where football is mostly dormant on a national level below the first tier as most smaller clubs cannot afford domes or heated playing surfaces. Experts are expecting a similar selection modus for the installation of said leagues to guarantee representation of all provinces, but it is more likely that compared to the traditional club approach of the Pervaya Liga, they will be based on a franchise system, however, we will keep our readers updated on any new developments on this front.

Going beyond team sports, an announcement has been made recently that the Pyazhnayan Olympic Committee has been formed, which shows interest in participating in the upcoming Winter Olympics and likely Summer Olympics. When it comes to individual athletes, information is a bit scarce coming out of Pyazhnaya due to the lack of events, so it is very hard to gauge at this time which disciplines could be favoured, but our colleagues from Pyazhnyy Sportske Novosti have indicated that the POC has initiated the construction of several facilities throughout the archipelago for Nordic and Alpine skiing as well as two Olympic standard combined bob sleigh/luge/skeleton tracks and also at least one combined arena that will consists of a large and normal hill arena as well as of a combined cross-country skiing and biathlon that is designed to serve as national base for the development of athletes while also working on programs to allow athletes train and compete overseas with the Tikariotian Olympic Committee having signed an agreement for a mutual exchange of knowledge and training facilities, which until the completion of the construction projects in Pyazhnaya will be to the benefit of Pyazhnayan athletes to prepare for upcoming events.

In preparation for future Summer Olympics, our colleagues have indicated that some of the disciplines the Pyazhnayan Olympic Committee is investing into are track and field, swimming, shooting and wrestling, but also that this list is by far not exhausted and could still be expanded, also in the light of the most recent Summer Olympics having just ended, giving them time to develop a proper strategy for natural growth without attempting to spread themselves too thin across the board.

This will conclude our look at sports in Pyazhnaya for now as the fairly recent history of modern Pyazhnaya has not allowed for very deep development of many sports across the nation and football so far overshadowing everything else, but it nevertheless is good to see that there are concerted efforts to diversify the Pyazhnayan sports landscape for a broader approach and preparing it to become a more fully and widely developed member of the multiverse's sports world.

[Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom]

Part 1

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14.08, 5:20
There was silence during the initial entry for the trio in the truck. “So, this your place, Borka?” Nikola asked his partner, “You’ve been here,” she replied with eyes peering into her schematics of the building. “These documents are not complete,” Nikola said to Borka, who scoffed “No need, that’s why we’re glad you were rescued form the Green Order,” Borka scooted over, “make sure to give them details,” she said with a smile. The old man at the wheel snored, though Nikola looked over and saw the older gentleman smirking.

If the control unit was relaxed, the sprawling home was about to experience a true rumpus. Markus Otten was an officer in the Mobile Enforcement Unit, which he called the “Durchsetzungseinheit” for he was born in Hügeltaldom. Markus was on the Blue Team. “Move in,” was the order. The Blue Team grouped up at the door. “Fall in, on me” Markus commanded calmly. The Blue team were sent to make the initial entry, clearing the way for the red team. Nobody knew what would be inside. Rumors suggested over twenty armed men would be waiting inside.

“It should be locked,” Nikola said over the radio to Markus, “Yeah, copy” Markus replied as he pulled out a stick with a screen. The stick was like an expandable baton, and Markus placed the stick at full length down at the door. With the flick of the switch, Markus could see into the home. The kitchen was a deep blue with white walls and all sorts of metal and gold trimmings. Curtains covered the many many windows, making entry more covert. One man was in the kitchen, holding something. Once the man was gone, Markus looked to his left, “Andrijaš, pick the lock.” The tall partner moved in, picking the lock, “It’s a good one, but I’m better” Andrijaš said, getting the door ready.

In the van, Nikola and his partner watched the scene unfold via body cams. “Borka,” Nikola said, “It will be my first year of freedom from Luka soon.” Borka nodded, “Of course,” she said quickly, focusing on the action, “You know, we still have no idea what made our bosses save Luka’s henchmen. The man was controlling a President, a Law Deputy, it was madness.” Borka said, putting a hand on Nikola, “You doing well?” she asked. Nikola shrugged, “It’s not easy being in a cult. The Green Order-” “Is dead, Niko” Borka said with a smile, “You work with us now.”

Markus looked to his partners, “Clear and breach.” One officer opened the door. In poured six officers, “clear” one of them said to describe the kitchen. Markus looked up and saw pots and pans hanging in the air, and a naked angel. Brushing past the posh kitchen, “Police!” Markus shouted at the room, a man was there, and no one else. “Blue team, this is red team! Movement to the front hall!” their partner shouted. Markus heard a bang and dropped back to the kitchen, taking aim at a hallway. “Police! Stand down!” he shouted. No response came. A table had been knocked over in the hall. The young officer took cover, because he noticed a gun.

A shot went into the kitchen rattling off the pots and pans. One officer made a shot at the table, but it was made of some tough metal and it almost shone via the sunroof in that round room Markus’ parters were in. Markus had at this point, snuck around a desk sitting in the middle of the kitchen. Markus had his machine gun, used by men of his rank years and years ago. Markus got out some shots at where that goon had fired from. The shooting from the side ended shortly there after. Carefully Markus and two officers approached the table. There was some rummaging that could be heard out of eye shot. Markus felt a heat in his chest as he approached the table, but took in in stride. The morning was getting intense.

Nikola felt odd as he saw the metal table in a body cam. “What is that?” Nikiola asked himself as he felt something in his chest. The glow of the table was mysterious, ominous. “Entry team, this is Magagonij, be careful.”

[Chromatika]

By: Xinyi Leung, Politics Correspondent

Election Season: Representatives Preview Part 1
Representative #20, Chromia Northern #3 Candidates: Jasmin Dwyer (Rainbow Party), Martha Grey (Traditionalist Party) Favorite: Jasmin Dwyer Incumbent: Jasmin Dwyer (Rainbow Party)
Representative #62, Myana Central Candidates: Harold Myung (Rainbow Party), Edwina Fern (Traditionalist Party) Favorite: Edwina Fern Incumbent: Harold Myung (Rainbow Party)
Representative #47, Z'ai'ai #1 Candidates: Oswald Brentworth (Rainbow Party), Lina Cade (Traditionalist Party) Favorite: Tossup Incumbent: Oswald Brentworth (Rainbow Party)

The first three of the Representative elections, Jasmin Dwyer is in a ridiculously Rainbow Party centric district and is the heavy favorite there, while Edwina Fern has a narrow lead in Central Myana, which had used a lot of different Atlantian Oceanian countries for their exports. Z'ai'ai is the biggest toss-up of the three after that fateful Mayoral election.

Currently, the balance of power in the Chromatik Chambers of the Legislature is forty-nine for the Rainbow Party, twenty-six for the Traditionalist Party, five for the Red Party, and one for the Independent Party.

Rainbow Party's three Representatives are on the line; how many will they be able to retain?

---

Tales from the Lower Leagues
Checkers FC: Financial Turmoil

There are stories that are missed every season by the big markets because they aren't in the Red or Orange Leagues. There are stories of surprise promotions, tearful relegations, financial struggles, teamwide drama, and external forces that impact smaller teams. We here from The Rebel will spend some time to look at nine different stories from nine teams that were in the Yellow League or lower up till the start of Season Seven.

By: Lisa-Marie Deloitte, D'rea Courier

Name of Club: Checkers FC 
Nickname: Checkers
City: Dre'a
District: Capital
Stadium: Checkers Field (Cap. 6,250)
Owner: The Triangle Trust, Insurance Company

Season 1   W   D   L   GF  GA  GD Pts  Place      Cup
After 05   1   1   3    7  13  -6   4  Yellow 13  Round 3: Win vs. Larhai City (2-1)
After 10   1   2   7    7  22 -15   5  Yellow 16  Round 4: Loss to Lorentine (2-2, 2-2 AET, 3-4 pen.)
After 15   2   2  11   13  33 -20   8  Yellow 16  
After 20   4   4  12   22  43 -21  16  Yellow 16
After 25   5   5  15   30  55 -25  20  Yellow 16
After 30   7   5  18   39  66 -27  26  Yellow 15- Relegated to Green League
Season 2   W   D   L   GF  GA  GD Pts  Place      Cup
After 10   4   1   5   10  12  -2  13  Green   9  Round 2: Win vs. Wix (3-1)
After 20   7   5   8   27  29  -2  26  Green  11  Round 3: Loss to Eyrods City (1-3)
After 30  14   7   9   52  43   9  49  Green   6
Season 3   W   D   L   GF  GA  GD Pts  Place      Cup
After 05   4   1   0   15   6   9  13  Green  1   Round 2, Loss to Deprí Sanar United (0-1)
After 10   6   1   3   22  11  11  19  Green  2   
After 15   8   2   5   29  16  13  26  Green  1
After 20  11   3   6   45  26  19  36  Green  1
After 25  13   4   8   52  31  21  43  Green  3
After 30  16   4  10   60  36  24  52  Green  2 - Promoted to Yellow League
Season 4   W   D   L   GF  GA  GD Pts  Place      Cup
After 05   3   1   1   11   3   8  10  Yellow 2   Round 3: Win vs. RPria City (2-1)
After 10   3   3   4   13  10   3  12  Yellow 10  Round 4: Loss to Rhoni City (1-3)
After 15   3   5   7   15  18  -3  14  Yellow 13 
After 20   5   6   9   21  25  -4  21  Yellow 13
After 25   5  10  10   23  30  -7  25  Yellow 14
After 30   8  11  11   31  35  -4  35  Yellow 12
Season 5   W   D   L   GF  GA  GD Pts  Place      Cup
After 05   1   4   0    4   3   1   7  Yellow 9   Round 3: Win vs. Naval FC (2-0)
After 10   2   6   2   13  17  -4  12  Yellow 9   Round 4: Loss to Hanai Brakers (0-2)
After 15   3   6   6   15  24  -9  15  Yellow 11 
After 20   5   6   9   21  30  -9  21  Yellow 11
After 25   7   7  11   31  38  -7  28  Yellow 12
After 30  11   8  11   39  42  -3  41  Yellow 8
Season 6   W   D   L   GF  GA  GD Pts  Place      Cup
After 05   1   2   2    3   4  -1   5  Yellow 12  Round 3: Loss to Glaciers (1-1, 1-1 AET, 3-4 pen.)
After 10   1   4   5    8  12  -4   7  Yellow 15   
After 15   3   5   7   15  17  -2  14  Yellow 13 
After 20   6   6   8   24  21  -3  24  Yellow 12
After 25   6   6  13   32  35  -3  24  Yellow 14
After 30   8   7  15   38  40  -2  31  Yellow 14- Promotion/Relegation Playoffs, Saved

The Acquisition

Checkers FC was initially purchased by a group of businessmen from the city of Dre'a before the inaugural season of the Rainbow League System. Calling themselves the "Dre'a Trio", Jeremiah McIntyre, Gavin Dawson, and Samuel Benson owned more than a third of the city's businesses that weren't government subsidiaries. The vision was to get visibility to the small satellite city of Dre'a while also getting another club up the ranks to join the list of clubs hailing from the Central District that weren't explicitly from Chromia. The Dre'a Trio were adamant that the venture would make them a lot of money once the club got going and they made it to the Orange League and perhaps even beyond.

What ended up happening was one of the biggest financial disasters in the Rainbow League System's history.

The Dip

The inaugural season as Checkers FC got off on the wrong foot, and by the midpoint of the season, the team was staring at a record of 2-2-11 with only thirteen goals scored. Carlson Beckett, the Manager, quit the next day, and though Harry Bekemier, the Assistant, helped more than triple the number of wins in the first half, the team wasn't able to avoid the axe, getting relegated to the Green League in fifteenth place.

This didn't fit with the business plans of the Dre'a Trio. Jeremiah McIntyre's R&D Division that was looking into an alternative fuel vehicle bombed after failing to pass a permit test. Gavin Dawson's wife died unexpectedly after a brief illness. Samuel Benson, unwilling to shelter the load by himself, filed to dissolve the Dre'a Trio, and Checkers entered the second season of the Rainbow League System with the knowledge that the team would be without financial backing by the end of the season.

Harry Beckemier helped the squad get to sixth place in Season 2 after a 7-5-8 start, going 7-2-1 in their last ten matches. However, all eyes were on the financial end of things, as any news regarding the sale of Checkers FC drew headlines in the city of Dre'a. Would the team have to disband? Relocate?

That was when the Triangle Trust, a Medical/Auto Insurance Company from Chromia, heard of their plight. Alex Poen, the CEO of the company, thought that acquiring Checkers FC would cause the city to expand toward Dre'a naturally; the market in Dre'a hadn't been made murky by other insurance companies, so the possibility of a decent payout was present.

So, Checkers FC was acquired by the Triangle Trust before Season 3; they hired Beckemier to be the full-time Manager, and he repaid them by leading the squad to the Yellow League by Season 4. Since then, the team has been near the bottom of the Yellow League for Seasons 4 and 5, not being good enough to make it up the table.

Season Six: Narrow Escape

By defeating Lanar United 2-1 in the Promotion/Relegation Playoff, Checkers FC prolonged their life in the Yellow League.

Strategy

Checkers FC has always been a very back-and-forth team, utilizing midfielders who can run from the first whistle to the end of the match. They lack strength on either end of the pitch, but the quality of their midfield will always keep them relevant in games.

Future Prospects

If there is such a thing as a yo-yo club between the Yellow and Green Leagues, this is it. They need significant work if they are to push themselves up to the Orange League, but the Triangle Trust seem to be content with where the team is for the moment.

Concluding Thoughts

The Triangle Trust deserves massive kudos for saving this team from distress; their aspirations, now curtailed and kept realistic, make this team a successful venture.

---

Matchday 4 Talamia 1-2 Chromatika
Goals: Hauser '38, '71
Player of the Match: AM Haley Hauser (2 Goals)
Starting XI (4-3-2-1): Tioux (C); De Saint-Pierre - Anbient - Ingram - Pomeroy; Marc - Zuniga - Croix-Pierre; Hauser - Fillar, B.; Gainsbourg.
Substitutes: Fillar, G. -> De Saint-Pierre ('51), Ilya -> Pomeroy ('74), Vidal -> Gainsbourg ('85)

Matchday 5 Chromatika 3-0 Darmen @ The Capitalizt Dome, Chromia, Capital District
Goals: Mora '6, Vidal '57, Kuznetsov '78
Player of the Match: AM Hermaeus Mora (1 Goal, 2 Assists)
Starting XI (4-3-2-1): Fillar, J.; Xiao - de Aea - Ken - Ilya; Humphreys - Armageddon (C) - Zuniga - Kuznetsov; Mora; Vidal.
Substitutes: Marc -> Humphreys ('71), Anbient -> Ken ('81), Gainsbourg -> Vidal ('85)

Five Questions with... DM Kateryna Zuniga, Longtime Understudy of Enigma Armageddon

1. What went through your head when you heard that Chromatika would be shifting to a 4-3-2-1/4-4-1-1?
”I have never thought of Enigma being considered the best player in my position to be a detriment to my career. Instead, having someone like him to look up to has been a lot of fun. When I heard that they are making the midfield a bit more flexible to sometimes have both Enigma and myself on the field at the same time, I was very happy. It'll be a lot of fun to play alongisde him instead of just having one of us out there. We can really communicate with the back four and the keeper more and allow the side midfielders to contribute to the attack - I think it will present some more strategic options that will give our opponents fits. ”

2. Who do you look up to on the squad?
”Juxon Fillar. Being the oldest out of four can't be easy, especially when they're all on the squad, too. He's very soft-spoken, carries himself well, and knows when to step up and when to step back. Despite being heralded from such a young age, he knows how to shoulder the burden with grace, and he is someone that I would want on my team no matter how stressful the situation to overcome. We're lucky to have a keeper of his caliber on the squad.”

3. What's the hardest part about being on the Anomalies?
"The opposition. Everyone in our group is looking up at us and taking their best shots, and then if you reach the World Cup Proper, there are no easy games. It's the dream of any competitor to face tough opposition, but the fact that you can take no game off is a testament to how hard it is to be on this team and to perform well. Of course, there's fan expectations and pride to contend with, but there are some great teams out there.”

4. Who is the best player not on the roster in your position, and why?
”I agree with most by saying Leysa Burns is someone to watch, but I also want to give a shout-out to Miwa Angogh in Urrheddiao. Though not the most lanky nor the most athletic, she has that ability to not let a player get by her without getting chipped that makes her a menace to play against. Yet another player who would've been called up had the position not been so stacked, she's one to watch as she continues to develop.”

5. A question from a fan: cats or dogs?
”Parrots. I love birds - I think they're much easier to take care of than cats or dogs, and parrots are my favorite because they talk back to you. Training a bird to come and take food out of your hand is so much fun. Don't do four-legged animals - do birds instead.”

Chromatik Roster for MD6 and MD7:

Starters @ Schima Bas (UR) (4-3-2-1): Enax; Watt - Odling - Nodis - Ighv; Baum - Pill - Hama; Phoen - Laurette; Oveni.
Reserves @ Agresos: GK Kathie Begley, GK Jacob Descombes, RB Dina Chapman, CB Cierra Anderson, CB Theodore Rondeau, LB Kandice Sayer, RM/RW Emilie Kruetzberg, DM Amélie Ju, DM Mare Si, LM/LW Miranda Anderson, AM Baillaire Fillar, AM Haley Hauser, ST Paskal Toussaint.

Starters vs. Sylestone (65) (4-4-1-1): Fillar, J.; Xiao - de Aea - Ken - Ilya; Humphreys - Armageddon (C) - Zuniga - Kuznetsov; Mora; Vidal.
Reserves vs. Darmen: GK Ferret Tioux, GK Kathie Begley, RB Grayson Fillar, CB Keira Anbient, CB Damon Ingram, LB Nina Pomeroy, RM/RW Orianne Marc, DM Kaia Larriet-Cortes, DM Mare Si, AM Haley Hauser, AM Baillaire Fillar, LM/LW Andréa Croix-Pierre, ST Alicia Gainsbourg.

[Eshialand]

Unbroken
Polkopia 1-0 Eshialand
Eshialand 4-2 Aut-Ves-Nat

OOC: Goalscorers for Aut-Ves-Nat come from their roster for Eagle's Cup XI.

"Marčuk runs it past Meilling, I think Polkopia's going for the goal! He passes it up to Kosyo, the pass barely slips by Gorman, and Kosyo gets the ball! He shoots it into the bottom corner, and IT GETS PAST KOLEK! GOOOOOAAAAAL, 1-0 POLKOPIA!!"

Alex Kolek couldn't stop thinking about that moment as the Owls' next match against Aut-Ves-Nat was about to begin. In that one moment in the 42nd minute of the match in Marshupov Arena, he blew what was supposed to be an easy victory and turned it into an embarrassing defeat. It seemed to have killed any chances the Owls had, as dead as a dodo.

But yet, Coach Morgan still decided to start him for the match against Aut-Ves-Nat. "Why?" he asked. "I completely blew it against Polkopia, why would you put me in this position?"
"Look, I know Polkopia wasn't the greatest match out there. But it isn't really your fault Alex! The offense just wasn't hitting, you aren't to blame."
"But they're an unranked team--"
"Ranking means nothing, you should know that! Polkopia's a really good team, ranking be damned. Don't be ashamed."
"Are you sure you wouldn't want to play Christian instead?"
"Look, I know what I'm doing. That match against Polkopia was nothing. Remember what happened last year against Sendhang?"

The match that Coach was referring to, the "Massacre on Highchurch Street", was one where the Owls had decided to underestimate lower-ranked Sendhang and put three uncapped players in the starting XI, leading to an absolutely devastating 5-1 home loss, still tied for the worst loss in Eshian soccer history.

"Yeah?"
"Well, this wasn't that, now was it. It was one match lost by one goal, big deal. As long as you can get back out there and play your best game, everything will be okay!"

"AND HERE THEY ARE, THE FIRST-EVER CHAMPIONS OF THE CAFA CUP, AUT-VES-NAT!!!" the announcer yelled out.

"Look, the match is about to start. Get out there and keep those balls out of that goal, okay?"
"Got it Coach!"
"Good luck out there Alex."

"AND NOW, THE CHAMPIONS OF THE 75TH BAPTISM OF FIRE, YOUR HOME TEAM, HERE FOR A REMATCH OF THEIR VERY FIRST INTERNATIONAL APPEARANCE, ESHIALAND!!!"

In the end, Coach was right. Alex kept things tight, and the Owls won 4-2. It wasn't all over. The loss to Polkopia wasn't some herald of disaster. Things were looking pretty bright for this team going into their next match in Xanneria.

Eraman, Malandrin, Reçueçn, Felinetopia, Kohnhead, Græntfjall, Vilita and Turori, Turori, Græntfjall, Vilita and Turori, Turori, Trolleborg, Jeruselem, Baker Park, Flavovespia, Polkopia. 16 competitive matches, zero wins... but that was all behind them now. They had their fresh beginning, and it poetically/ironically came against the very team that had started their first beginning.

Polkopia - 1 (Kosyo 42')
Eshialand - 0

Eshialand - 4 (Harran 14'; LaPlante 36'; Longfield 54'; Meilling 72')
Aut-Ves-Nat - 2 (Hesediel 43'; Ingenious 61')

[Eura]

WORLD CUP 89 – QUALIFYING GROUP 18 – MATCHDAY 4
EURA 2 – 0 LATHAMFORD
Scorers: Rowland 32, Bond 77
Lineup: 1. K Belgrave, 2. H Wheeler, 4. J Menard, 15. T Green, 5. K Sherwood, 3. L Almwood (sub Reeve 56), 6. M Rowland (sub Mullins 80), 8. V Robshaw, 7. M Woakes, 10. I Tomlinson, 14. S Robson (sub Bond 50)

WORLD CUP 89 – QUALIFYING GROUP 18 – MATCHDAY 5
SREDNJACI 2 – 3 EURA
Scorers: Menard 17, Walker 30, Malone 54
Lineup: 30. E Palmer, 4. J Menard (sub Coles 87), 25. J Byrd, 27. T Wellington, 18. S Erskine, 24. E Mullins (sub Ashton 67), 11. B Malone, 12. D Bowman, 22. A Woodman, 9. B Bond (sub Atkinson 75), 17. S Walker

---

To be delivered to the Speaker of the Parlamento Reale, Pomena, Juvencus,

It has come to the attention of our government that your Holy Emperor, Nicola II, has recently made statements to the effect of demanding the commencement of a direct military intervention in the ongoing conflict in Nyowani Kitara by your nation’s armed forces. As you will know, in a session featuring all 531 members of the Royal Parliament, the Holy Emperor called for your nation to provide military support to the organisation calling itself the Kitara Freedom Front, with an aim to bringing the conflict to an end in their favour.

The United Federation of Eura shares your leader’s concern about the situation in Nyowani Kitara, as no doubt many other heads of state and government’s do. As a leading power in Rushmore, Eura takes a particular interest in this crisis, and is watching closely in order to best provide support for a peaceful and just resolution to the conflict as soon as possible. We are working bilaterally with regional partners and multilaterally through the auspices of the Common Rushmori Community to achieve this.

Nevertheless, our government strongly opposes any insinuation of (or planning for) a Juvencus military intervention in the region, or that of any other power with no conceivable major interests in the region of conflict. With the greatest of respect, we do not believe your nation should have such a role in this conflict, given your remoteness and lack of involvement in the region’s affairs, and the readiness with which the Holy Emperor committed to action suggests to us that the nation of Juvencus may well have malign intentions in this adventure.

Rushmori nations such as ours will not welcome any poorly timed and overbearing attempts to wade into Rushmori affairs, particularly given that the nations of this region are more than equipped to deal with the crisis by intervention themselves if it is needed. Nor will the people of Nyowani Kitara want to be interfered with by a nation that is almost alien to them due to the gravity of geography.

The Prime Minister, Ian Smith, feels strongly that we should insist that the Holy Emperor either retracts his comments or changes course to play a more appropriate role in supporting a resolution to this conflict. Offers of humanitarian aid from all corners will always be welcome, and Eura will do whatever it can to help facilitate such aid reaching those who need it most. However, any attempt to send military forces to the area to intervene will be considered highly provocative, and the Euran armed forces will deny access to any unwelcome ex-regional forces.

We are pleased to see that members of the Royal Parliament have rebuffed the Holy Emperor publicly, condemning his actions in an unprecedented vote. We appreciate this must have been an incredibly difficult thing to do, but we have no doubt that it will prove to be a positive milestone in the history of your nation’s politics. On behalf of our government, I would like to invite key members of the Royal Parliament – and if he changes course, the Holy Emperor himself – to discuss the situation in Nyowani Kitara with myself and key decision makers in the Euran state, and consider what realistic measures your country can take to support the people of Nyowani Kitara and the Rushmori powers resolving the crisis.

Together, through dialogue, we can forge a productive way forward.

Yours,
Carl Rutherford
Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs
United Federation of Eura

Residence of the Foreign Secretary
Pillbox House, 19 Kings Road
Parliamentary District
City of Bastion
COB-101

---

‘This is Watkins speaking. Hello?’
‘Please hold for the Minister of Defence.’
‘Holding.’
‘Carmen?’
‘Minister, good evening. Let’s keep things professional, shall we?’
‘Ok, ok! You’ll be General then. I only called because I wanted to find out what’s happening with the maneuvering situation with Nyowani Kitara. This is your secure line, isn’t it?’
‘Well, you should have found that out before calling me but, yes, it is.’
‘Wonderful. Fill me in then.’
‘Alright, give me a moment.’
‘…Carmen.’
‘General.’
‘Sorry, sorry. General Watkins, do you have anything for me?’
‘I have an update from the staff. I’ll ping it over to you now.’ The Minister of Defence checked his secure mailbox for military communications traffic and delved into a hefty looking document, skimmed it, and arrived at the key part he was looking for.

Euran communication codes explained:
People and organisations
PRIME MOVER = Prime Minister of Eura
MOD-SEC = Euran Secretary of State for Defence
CHIEFS = Chiefs of Staff for the Euran armed forces
CHR-OSI = Chairman of the Office of State Intelligence (OSI)
OPSRUS, OPSAO = Director of Operations for Rushmore, and for Atlantian Oceania, at the OSI
EURFOR = Euran armed forces
EURAERO = Euran Air Force Aerospace Command (despite the vagueness of the name, this body is responsible for commanding Eura’s space-based military assets such as spy satellites)
LEAD = Leader (e.g. NATION-LEAD)
ORG = Private organisation, such as a business or NGO

Military units
WHALE = Nuclear aircraft carrier
BOOMER = Ballistic missile submarine (nuclear powered and armed)
SHARK = Attack submarine (nuclear powered)
STAR = Spy satellite
UNCONVENTIONALS = Specialist naval vessel, eg. Spy ship or research vessel

Foreign nations and groups, and locations
GEARSTAR = Nyowani Kitara
GEARSTAR-FOR = Kitara Revolutionary Forces (KRF)
REBEL-ONE = Democratic Front for the Liberation of Kitara (DFLK)
REBEL-TWO = Kitara Freedom Front (KFF)
ROOK = Nephara
WEST = Westlands (Generic term for Darmen/Valladar Westlands area)
ROYAL = Valladares
GREENWHITE = Darmen
SEAPORT = Helving (Euran overseas territory on the coast of Falkyr)
UKULELE = Uke Islands (Euran overseas territory in the Goose Sea)
CAMBRIDGE = Nova Cambria
SANT = Ossidiacqua
KING = Banija
EURPORT = Euran coastal ports (primarily Falourr)
CORSAIR = Sargossa
STAN = South Covello/former Gregoryisgodistan
KRAKEN = Graintfjall
OLYMPIC = The Kytler Peninsulae
TICKTOCK = Tikariot

IMMEDIATE OPERATIONAL SITUATION IN CENTRAL RUSHMORE - SUMMARY

As per instructions from PRIME MOVER and MOD-SEC, CHIEFS have pulled together an update on EURFOR readiness for action at short notice if required in GEARSTAR. Following recent undertakings from ROOK-GOV (PRIME MOVER and ROOK-LEAD are set to hold talks in more detail within the next 48 hours) they have also considered EURFOR’s ability to support allied expeditionary elements in any hypothetical action.

Assets in place (internal to GEARSTAR)

Our basic on the ground presence is the embassy in the capital, which is secure but at half-staff as it has been for years. OSI have a small presence at the site but limited infrastructure and information gathering capacity beyond orthodox intelligence collection. One asset, codename “Tubular”, has obtained a position in the KPWC’s state architecture but has limited reach and access. PRIME MOVER hasn’t asked about this but, after the Anaia debacle, OSI are aware it isn’t ideal to be underrepresented in GEARSTAR. CHR-OSI has commissioned OPSRUS to reallocate resources and rectify immediately.

Overall, our ability to support any operations with assets already on the ground is very limited beyond basic reconnaissance. CHIEFS think it would be more realistic and wiser to keep the embassy and limited OSI presence focused on catering to the thousands of EUR citizens in the country and any EURORG’s such as NGO’s.

Assets in place (sub-regional)

OSI and military intelligence are of course much better represented across the board in the central belt of Rushmore, and are currently taking a strong interest in the WEST referendum involving ROYAL and GREENWHITE. Our hard power presence is a bit patchier; normally EURFOR have at least one WHALE and escorts in the Xandrian Sea to conduct freedom of navigation ops and protect trade, but recent operational constraints mean our nearest grouping is moving away from the region through the Komodo Channel towards restocking at SEAPORT.

However, there are other options. At UKULELE we have two WHALEs and their strike groups in port more or less ready to deploy anywhere. We have already been in discreet touch with CAMBRIDGE-GOV about whether or not EURFOR vessels will be allowed to move through their isthmus-crossing canal to access the Xandrian Sea directly. Another WHALE and strike group are passing through the Alban Strait as we speak and could be redirected south without causing issues. We have one BOOMER on WEST deterrence patrol that could be put to use if things got really ugly, but we’re not talking about dealing with GREENFOR here so that should be out of the question.

More useful are SHARKs, of which we have four attached to the groupings mentioned above and two in the Xandrian Sea already on a standard patrol. These are the readiest to go assets and are discreet. Until other naval units can be redeployed, we suggest an immediate action – deploy these two SHARKs to the channel separating GEARSTAR from SANT, and possibly recall a third from the WHALE group heading to seaport to monitor traffic in and out of the Obsidian Sea.

We have no UNCONVENTIONALS in place but could deploy rapidly from further afield. Although technically not “in place”, STARs can be re-tasked to the area quite easily, and indeed EURAERO will have one asset in place for immediate observation and reporting within 24 hours.

Long range expeditionary readiness

EURFOR have extensive experience of long-range expeditionary operations in recent decades, and a huge amount of equipment and manpower to carry them out. CHIEFS have no doubt that EURFOR would be successful no matter what is asked of them. No faction in GEARSTAR, including GEARSTAR-FOR, possesses the ability to resist EURFOR in the hopefully unlikely event that a full response is required. One advantage of GEARSTAR’s geography is that the capital and the key city held by REBEL-TWO are both against the sea, and therefore very accessible for any potential amphibious action.

However, any such operations always have limitations dictated by the context no matter how big a stick we carry. CHIEFs believe the biggest obstacles for action in GEARSTAR, or even just preparation for action, are:
Lack of obvious staging points in the Xandrian Sea without co-operation from nearby countries
Advantages held by potential rival forces (i.e. alternative sources of foreign intervention), particularly ROYAL-FOR geographic proximity and KING-FOR familiarity with geography
Limitations of operational space along GEARSTAR coastline; EURFOR and any allied forces would be vulnerable to attack at sea
REBEL-ONE forces are concentrated in the north of the country and would be difficult to assist or engage until ground assets are in place (depending on whose side we might be on)

In the event that we have to take action without any local staging points, multiple potentially hostile actors in the area and no allies, we could deploy a long-range expeditionary force from SEAPORT or UKULELE, but at that point it would make more sense simply to launch from EURPORT itself. We could also carry out long range aerial operations from the homeland, bypassing ROYAL airspace through a northern detour, but such operations would be very high risk and expensive given the distances involved.

International context

The most crucial international context development so far is that KING-GOV has made no obvious attempt to intervene in the situation or deploy any forces to the area. It is vital that we continue to monitor any developments in this regard; CHR-OSI has instructed OPSAO to deploy assets to monitor KING-FOR installations (including ports) and report back on any apparent preparations for deployment.

We are in the early stages of engaging all direct neighbours about what happens next. KRAKEN, OLYMPIC and TICKTOCK are the key players, and we have decent enough relations with all three but shouldn’t take anything for granted, especially any proposals about basing EURFOR. OLYMPIC-LEAD is said to be considering his government’s position and in the case of TICKTOCK-GOV we don’t know anything of substance. KRAKEN-GOV are in a delicate position due to their political orientation and are likely to delay taking a stance as much as they can; it may transpire they are malleable to pressure if internal opposition try to support any of the GEARSTAR factions.

ROOK-GOV sources close to ROOK-LEAD (who, as above, will discuss her proposals in detail with PRIME-MOVER shortly) inform us that they are pulling together some kind of plan for involvement, but the request to consider operational possibilities that was passed on to CHIEFS was a bit vague to assess in detail. However, in short, EURFOR has the capability to give ROOK-FOR whatever extra reach they need to carry out operations in the Xandrian Sea; such support would almost certainly be required as EURFOR possess far superior ability to project force over long distances. We also have recent experience of the two operating together against GREENFOR to use as a template for successful joint operations.

ROYAL-GOV has so far been silent on the affair, but we don’t expect that will remain the case given the proximity of their territory and claims to regional great power status. OSI penetration and coverage of ROYAL-GOV and ROYAL-FOR is unparalleled and they will no doubt report back as and when there is any movement; hopefully, we will be able to co-operate on this one. On a similar note, CORSAIR-GOV have also failed to respond so far, but after our recent collaboration in STAN it seems unlikely they will make a point of objecting to what we do unless it hurts their interests in some way.

General Carmen B. Watkins
Liaison to the Chiefs of Staff
Ministry of Defence

[Milchama]

"So what happened against Turori?"

"They're really good and we're not really good"

"But you would think considering the fact that 5 of our starters were rested we would play better"

"You would think that way and you would be incorrect"

"I guess"

"I mean we did draw the disrespectful TJUN-ia without 5 starters"

"Yeah that was pretty crazy"

"Just so much work by the midfield and the defense"

"Agreed"

"Is there anymore that needs to be said?"

"Not really"

"But this isn't long enough to be a worthwhile RP"

"True"

"So, here's a good question"

"Ok shoot"

"Why doesn't Milchama really have any IC build up?"

"What do you mean?"

"We barely have cities, we don't really have a first division in football anymore, ditto with baseball, which is apparently the most popular sport in Milchama, and we don't know what club literally any player plays on"

"Because being able to change things arbitrarily and randomly is more fun. Also, who is going to keep stats and tabs on all that? Are you going to do that?"

"No"

"Also, you know that historically we can't keep up a RP angle for longer than like 3 days before we get bored. Like remember when we were going to get names and things and then that effort got abandoned in like 2 MDs"

"Sure so what?"

"So it doesn't make sense to go into all that detail if it's just going to be abandoned"

"Also our RPs are dada-esque masterpieces that say a lot about the State of Things but very little about what's going on in the game"

"That's not true"

"Well were you aware that we had 5 red cards against St. Trinians?"

"Yes but it didn't feel like it was worth mentioning"

"Really that's a pretty big deal for the rest of the qualifiers"

"In fairness we were appealing"

"Yeah that didn't work"

"Of course not, there was a giant fight and we brought maces on the pitch! Of course that didn't work"

"Yeah but who doesn't bring weapons on the pitch against St. Trinians?"

"Apparently every other team"

"Really? That's dumb. They're an overly aggressive team that tackles hard. You need to be ready against that"

"But maces?"

"Ok fair"

"But look what are we if we're not going to fight"

"I mean we fight internally. Remember the rebrand"

"I intentionally forgot because of the Isolation"

"I guess that's fair"

"So then we're good"

"I mean I guess but like I don't think we solved the problem at the beginning"

"Which is?"

"Are you or have you ever been a member of the communist party?"

"Yes but that's not really important or interesting. They're the second most popular party"

"I guess that's fair after the Habos"

"Basically"

"Though I'm not a huge fan of Dror Mirkashtan"

"He's fine but also are we going to start copying everyone now and have a politics centered RP?"

"I mean what better time to have an election than during a World Cup"

"Except we're not having an election"

"At least Gonnenberg is gone"

"And we're out of the Isolation"

"Politics centered RP next time for funsies?"

"Sure and then we can contradict literally everything that was said in the next RP"

"LET CHAOS REIGN"

"CHAOS REIGNS"

"Yep basically"

"It should work"

"And then Milchama should win some football games which will be wholly unrelated to what we talk about"

"Yeah or we could actually do something interesting"

"I mean that's fair"

"Anywhoo what do you say?"

"The Cubs are going to win today"

"Besides that"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

[Oberour Ar Moro]

Joavan Baudroyer had spent his first two days back on Enez Sant Gaud as the toast of the island. First he went to his childhood home, now the home of his brother, sister-in-law, and their young son, and his vacation home for the next ten days. "Uncle Joavan!" was nephew Izold's reaction upon seeing his uncle, wrapping himself around Joavan's leg. Joavan's sister-in-law Honnor gave him a big hug. "Estin is out on the boat, but he'll be back soon enough," Honnor updated him.

Estin Baudroyer, Joavan's older brother, worked six months of the year on a container ship, then spent six months back on Enez Sant Gaud fishing. And he always knew how to make his presence known. As Joavan unpacked in the guest room that once was his bedroom, he heard an exaggerated "Darling! I'm home!" from the door.

"Hey sweetheart!" Joavan couldn't resist shouting back from the room. And then stomp stomp stomp, the door was thrown open and a burly man bounded in and wrapped up the young football player.

"Joavan! You should have told me you'd be in today!" Estin bellowed, clapping his younger brother on the back.

Joavan jokingly pushed his older brother away. "As nice as it would be to get this out of the way sooner, I wouldn't want to interrupt you while you were hard at work."

"You know I'm just out there drinking to get away from Honnor," Estin said sotto voce with a wink.

"I heard that!" Honnor shouted from the kitchen.

Joavan had then been sent on a tour of the island, visiting friends and family and acquaintances and acquaintances-acquaintances. And everyone wanted to congratulate one of the island's brightest stars. And Joavan and Estin and Izold marched under ever graying skies as a storm started to roll in.

Now Baudroyer was the toast of the island, literally. Estin brought Joavan to the island's bar, the Rouage, where Joavan feared he might die.

"Seriously, I have a drink, I don't need another right now." He tried to beg off another proffered beer from his childhood friend Emilion Riote. This after Guyon Poudrier, a classmate turned carpenter, had forced a glass in his free hand already. An old muted television in the corner showed highlights of Oberour Ar Moro's 2-2 draw against Bollonich. Joavan turned to sit down his glass and saw a clip of national team center back Jerian Pellier get nutmegged by Britonsea's Jourdain Amédée. He could start to hear rain on the roof of the bar when he heard a feminine voice behind him.

"Hey Joavan. Long time no see."

Joavan turned to see a smiling young woman with brown hair. "Belassiz!" he responded, hoping up off the barstool. Joavan had a massive crush on Belassiz Oudet from when they went to school together. Though nothing had come of it, and he hadn't seen her since he moved to the mainland. Joavan had been hoping to run into her though. Joavan had the briefest thought of leaning in to give her a hug when an arm snaked around Belassiz's waist. Joavan's head turned to follow it up to the man that had walked up next to her. "Lunair, it's good to see you again."

Lunair Burelle, another person Joavan grew up with, grunted in recognition. Joavan looked over the two. "You're together now, huh?"

"Yeah, we've been dating three months," clarified Belassiz. Joavan was impressed at how quickly he was getting to go through the disappointment.

---

The storm that had been threatening all day had finally rolled in, and it was somehow worse than anyone would have guessed. While everyone lingered at the Rouage, the cargo ship Convoyeur had completely lost track of the channel, and came ever closer to the rocks by Enez Sant Gaud.

[Chartistan]

"So how about that Doctor Lucas? 7-3! I know it's Rizealand but how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know what the hell they put on top of the grass here at Old Town Park to be honest, but it works! We've outscored both this team and Transvolcanic 12-4! Hell even if you count the game against Starblaydia... We're only 7 games into qualifying and there's been 21 goals at this very stadium! Again, I don't know what the hell we're doing to make this all work, but I'll take it! IT'S BILLBOARD BABY!"

"Verry excited there, Doctor Lucas. Say, why did you exercise your option and was subbed on midway through the 2nd half?"

"Let's be honest here, it's because of rest. I wanted Exnash to rest, he's clearly a good player but we have a busy slate coming up with Indusse and Krbustan. Murderbum told us that we should take every single game we have seriously, and we should not be repeating our mistakes from them when we come up to Krbustan. Good results are key."

"Speaking of Little Exnash... That first half hat trick! Wasn't that beautiful?"

"Even more of a reason it pained me to sub him off in favor of myself. He was fantastic today, and he deserved all the praise he's getting from setting up Royce against Quebec and here. He's one of a kind, he can play anywhere he pleases, all he needs is a good club to treat him well and he's going to be a star. Air Latte's revelations when she left have been a good sign."

"Any other thoughts?"

"...To hell with Murderbum. Still mad over that draw."

[Pasarga]

Nothing ever comes easy but sometimes things just sort of fall into place. The Wanderers got off the far from the most pleasant of starts to their qualifying campaign with a home draw against West Guam, a team that many believed that the Wanderers should have put up a multiple goal victory against. For a team in the top ten of the rankings, a opening draw at home against an unheralded side seemed to indicate that the Wanderers were going to be in for another difficult qualifying campaign. This has been something of the norm for the Wanderers over the past few qualifying cycles, as two cycles ago they required a playoff victory against one of the best defensive sides in the game to get into the Finals and then last campaign they had an awful mid-qualifying stretch before going unbeaten in the latter stages to nip the qualifying spot in the last two matches. In both of those campaigns, the Wanderers were the favorite to advance but had to struggle through the campaign to get the expected result, before showcasing their talent in full once actually in the Finals.

However rather than finding themselves unable to get the momentum going after the unfortunate result, the Wanderers have been able to pick themselves up and push forward, collecting four wins from four games in order to keep themselves in the conversation of winning the group. While it is still an early stage of the campaign, one can surely find themselves out of the running if they are not able to string together results, especially when the qualifying rivals (that being Krytenia) have been a perfect five wins from five. While it has not been disappointing, the form of Mezei as the goalkeeper for the national team shirt does not quite match the fantastic display that he has been putting on in club form, with the Wanderers averaging a goal against a game. It might be a case of too many games for the elite keeper and that one of the other keepers in the pool should be given a chance to show their abilities. The offense has done its job though, with twelve goals through five games, just a tick under three goals a match which is the average that most elite teams are looking for.

The Wanderers now get a real test of their mettle as in the next international weekend the Wanderers will be taking on both the regional rivals of San Ortelio as well as the team from Damukuni, both teams who have a bit of quality about them. A few Pasargans have decided to make the jump to San Ortelio to pursue their club career, showing a real growth of the game in their regional neighbors. However none of those players are part of the current national team pool and can not provide any insight into how the team might play, which could be considered an oversight by Kirk McDonagh in his first international pool, with the knowledge that they would be playing such a foe. Regardless, San Ortelio has done quite well in regional competitions both on the club and international level and pose a real challenge for the Wanderers despite being five points adrift from the team as they enter into the international weekend. A rocky defense thus far in the competition seems to be an invitation for the likes of Elek Salai and Vojmil Topić to put on their impressive attacking talents.

After that, the team will then be going against Damukuni and it will be the biggest test before Krytenia to see if the Wanderers' defense has been able to settle their few issues. Damukuni comes in with an impressive goalscoring record early into the qualifying campaign, second only to the group leaders, but have tasted two defeats as well as a draw. It is a bit of a conumdrum how such a good attacking team has such an odd record in the campaign, but it stands to reason that with as many top sides struggling to get the best out of their crew, so to can some of the middle sides be seeing inconsistencies. However when it comes to the big games, it is expected that Damukuni will be on their best performance and that is when the Wanderers' backline will either sink or swim. This international weekend might not be the most difficult but it is a challenge and definitely will provide insight on how to expect the team to perform as we approach the halfway stage and second half of the campaign. If they are going to play up to their rank or if they will find themselves in a third straight difficult campaign which might require a late comeback to qualify, if they are to.

[Turori]

Turori Unveil Statues in Eelandii Celebration on Matchday 3

Eels Park, Eelandii, Turori :: The Turori National Team would open up their World Cup 89 Qualification Campaign against their top rivals for advancement in Group 13, the Rushmori Champions: Sargossa. While it was the first World Cup match for the Eels following their triumph in the World Cup 88 Final, it would not be the celebration or banner raising moment as that would come later on against Raspotochje on Matchday 3 at Eels Park. The match against Sargossa - perhaps the most important of the entire Qualification for the Eels to get an early step on the competition in the battle for Group 13's lone guaranteed spot in the World Cup Finals - would surprisingly take place at the Kionao Minor Field in Kionao, home of the former UICA Series B Champions Cup winners the Kionao Locals.

During World Cup 88 Qualifying, the Turori National Team would win 17 of their 18 Qualification matches including a string of 16 consecutive qualifying match victories to start out the campaign. The Eels would concede more than a single goal in a game just once during the qualifiers - on Matchday 17 against Krytenia where the Eels would also suffer their only dropped points when Turori's National Cocoabo Squad were held 2-2 by Turori's former Atlantian Oceania Neighbors.

For World Cup 89 Qualifying there would be no such winning streak to be concerned with. In a match that had all the excitement of a snail race commentated on by a pair of sloths, Turori and Sargossa combined for just six shots total over the 90 minutes and neither side could score a goal with the match ending in a goalless draw. While Turori were known for their modern Turorian form of the famous Rejistanian Karela system, the Turorian system was focused more on defending the 1-0 result opposed to actually shutting down the entire match with a true goalless draw.

In fact, it was the first Goalless Draw for Turori in World Cup Qualifying since Matchday 15 of World Cup 85 Qualifying against Audioslavia. While it had been quite some time since Turori were held goalless in World Cup Qualifying, they did manage a goalless draw in the recently completed Eagle's Cup XI in a rare meeting with the Vilitan Union.

Still, while it wasn't quite the start most were expecting from the reigning World Cup Champions, it was still a decent start for Turori against the groups second seed as the Eels maintained control of their own destiny, still able to secure World Cup Qualification if they perform true to their ranking for the remainder of the campaign.

 Turori [0] - [0] Sargossa
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: None               		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 51%:: Shots: 3:: Corners: 5	Sargossa 	:: Possession: 49%:: Shots: 3:: Corners: 5
	Lineup:	[GK] Timaala Hualtia, [D.] Moumouni Verre'elali, [D.] Lulu Pumaziiri, [D.] Planio’o Nrujsa, [D.]  Karek Edgeli, [ML]  Daliora Toru'u, [MC] Kentu Umaka'a, [MC]  Tulaki Rauogba, [MR]  Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki			
	Bench:	[FC] Turakia Diijelhma, [FC] Loala Inkabu, [M] Naraiza Ruaplal, [M] Lati'ala Giaoka, [U ] Bvalis Amaanara, [D] Amakli Inuro'o, [GK] Derizi Amatopa

After being held in the opener, Turori took the show on the road to Sevendia with a goal of winning the game 7-0. Instead, they would have to settle for Turakia Diijelhma's 77th minute goal as the difference maker in the match that would see Turori and Sevendia each take 7 shots and earn 7 corner kicks a piece.

It would be the first start of the campaign for Derizi Amatopa who many expect to be taking over the role as the #1 Goalkeeper for the Turori National Team during the World Cup 89 Cycle. Wiyauw An'maude, the veteran goalkeeper for Cedniavella Turori in the Vilitan League who backstopped the majority of Turori's World Cup 88 Triumph has yet to appear for Turori either on the pitch or on the bench and An'maude did not travel with the team to Sevendia.

Following the victory over Sevendia the Turori National Team would head home to Eel's Park for their first World Cup Qualifying match at their primary home grounds since winning the World Cup 88 title. New banners, placards and statues would be unveiled including a statue of Meldi'ita Mungwaii.

Mungwaii, the Hero of World Cup 88 and the recently completed Eagle's Cup where Mungwaii scored the winning goal for Turori in the final against Zwangzug - the very nation that Mungwaii now calls home - would start the match for the Eels. It would not take long for Mungwaii to make an impact in the game scoring what would eventually be the game winning goal just ten minutes into the match sending the packed house in Eelandii into rampant excitement. It would be a busy first half for the Turori National Team with Biliki Rona'atu'i and Planio'o Nrujsa adding to the Eels advantage, taking a 3-0 lead into the halftime break and setting the tone for a night of celebration.

While the Eels wouldn't be able to further add to their lead in the second half, it was still a night to remember in Eelandii in celebration of the Nations first ever World Cup Title - as well as the practical benefits of three points in the battle for qualification from Group 13.

 Turori [1] - [0] Sevendia
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 77' Turakia Diijelhma              		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 57%:: Shots: 7:: Corners: 7	Sevendia 	:: Possession: 43%:: Shots: 7:: Corners: 7
	Lineup:	[GK] Derizi Amatopa, [D.] Moumouni Verre'elali, [D.] Karek Edgeli, [D.] Planio’o Nrujsa, [D.]  Lulu Pumaziiri, [ML]  Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [MC] Daliora Toru'u, [MC]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MR]  Naraiza Ruaplal, [FC] Turakia Diijelhma, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki			
	Bench:	[FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Kala'a Yuliizala, [M] Lati'ala Giaoka, [M] Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [U ] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [D] Amakli Inuro'o, [GK] Timaala Hualtia

 Turori [3] - [0] Raspotochje
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 10' Meldi'ita Mungwaii:: 19' Biliki Rona'atu'i:: 38' Planio’o Nrujsa            		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 58%:: Shots: 8:: Corners: 7	Raspotochje 	:: Possession: 42%:: Shots: 2:: Corners: 3
	Lineup:	[GK] Derizi Amatopa, [D.] Karek Edgeli, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [D.]  Planio’o Nrujsa, [ML]  Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [MC] Kinabo Telioa, [MC]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MR]  Daliora Toru'u, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Turakia Diijelhma			
	Bench:	[FC] Nua'oma Aikiki, [FC] Loala Inkabu, [M] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [M] Naraiza Ruaplal, [U ] Moumouni Verre'elali, [D] Lulu Pumaziiri, [GK] Wiyauw An'maude

[Omerica]

LES ÉTATS GÉNÉRAUX — THE ESTATES GENERAL
TRANSCRIPTION OFFICIELLE DE LA CHAMBRE DES COMMUNES — OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

---

Questions to the Secretary for Foreign Affairs

Hon. Victoria Davies (Third Deputy Speaker; Liberal Party): Next item on the Order Paper: Questions to the Secretary for Foreign Affairs. The Opposition Spokesperson for Foreign Affairs has the floor.

Hon. Lisa Simon (Opposition Spokesperson for Foreign Affairs; Democratic Party of Omerica): Has the Secretary been adequately informed on the latest developments in Nyowani Kitara?

Hon. Ms Davies: The Secretary for Foreign Affairs has the floor.

Hon. Dieudonné Chaput (Secretary for Foreign Affairs; Omerican Socialist Party): Yes. The Prime Minister, Deputy Prime Minister and myself have all been receiving regular intelligence briefings on the Kitaran Civil War.

Hon. Ms Simon: Does the Government have any intention on intervening in the situation at this time?

Hon. Mr Chaput: As of yet, the choice currently before the international community is not clear and highly unenviable. This is a complex and multifaceted situation that will evolve rapidly, so intervention of any kind beyond humanitarian assistance would be highly inappropriate at this time. We will be watching the situation closely and listening to what the Rushmori powerbrokers have to say before we do anything substantive.

Hon. Ms Simon: Is the Secretary admitting that the United Republics may decide to intervene?

Hon. Mr Chaput: There is zero prospect of a military intervention, if that is what the honourable Spokesperson is asking. That would be never be on the table in any circumstances for reasons too numerous to list. Our place is to provide other forms of support if necessary. In the interim, the Government will be asking the Plenipotentiaries to authorise a potential despatch of federal constables to provide humanitarian assistance in the conflict zone. I think that is a measure we can all support.

Hon. Ms Davies: [in Gallic] The Deputy for Castelrenard has the floor.

Alexandrine Borde (Castelrenard, East Calaverde; Omerican Socialist Party): As I am sure the House is well aware, the Omerica national football team just recently defeated Juvencus 2–0 in a crucial World Cup qualifying match.

[Several deputies applaud.]

Ms Borde: However, the match was unfortunately marred by an attack on the team bus by delusional extremist Panjuvenists. Does the Secretary join Juven Football Federation and United Republican Soccer Federation in condemning this act?

Hon. Mr Chaput: I must say that the Secretariat was well aware of the threat posed to Omerican players, team staff and supporters in Pomena, especially to gallophone Omericans. From the moment the draw was published, the Secretariat recommended that supporters not travel to Pomena and the Secretariat has been vindicated in that regard. The Government condemns this heinous attack and wishes to thank the Juven authorities for the measures they undertook to protect the safety of our compatriots. We also want to thank those who welcomed Omericans in friendship and look forward to welcoming them to Romainbourg in return.

Hon. Ms Davies: The Liberal Spokesperson for Foreign Affairs has the floor.

Arzhel Saint-Martin (Spokesperson for Foreign Affairs; Liberal Party): I inform those in this chamber who may not be aware that the Tumbran House of Representatives recently passed an expansionist piece of legislation. Does the Secretary condemn this blatantly imperialistic act?

Hon. Mr Chaput: The Republic of Tumbra is our foremost friend in Esportiva, with whom we share a longstanding amity that has been built on our common values. However, I can assure the House that the Ambassador in Straton has relayed this Government’s concerns about the Northlands Expansion Act to President [Kelia] Campbell.

Mr Saint-Martin: That does not answer the question. Does the Secretary condemn this blatantly imperialistic act or is he going to coddle Kenneth Everett?

Hon. Mr Chaput: We must careful and measured in our response here, especially as this is not something in which we have any sway. It is our understanding that the Northlands was in a state of terra nullius and Tumbra is filling in the void.

[Several deputies loudly protest.]

Hon. Ms Davies: I will have order in the chamber. The Secretary for Foreign Affairs will be heard.

Hon. Mr Chaput: It is the understanding of the Government that this legislation, though controversial, is in line with the norms of international law. If we are mistaken in that judgement, the Secretariat will take responsibility and relay our condemnation to the Tumbran government, but for the moment, there appears to be nothing to condemn.

Mr Saint-Martin: It was not long ago that the Secretariat was condemning Sarzonian aggression against Foxchester signatories and pledging its support to Saltstead during its referendum campaign. Does the Secretary not see the blatant hypocrisy in this?

Hon. Mr Chaput: The situation in Anaia and the situation in the Northlands are not remotely comparable and the honourable Spokesperson is fully aware that they are not. I do not see any hypocrisy here because there is no hypocrisy here.

[Several deputies loudly protest.]

Hon. Ms Davies: Order. This House will come to order. Deputies to my left may make their complaints known at a later time, but we will continue with questions. The Deputy for Montagnes-Australes-de-l’Est has the floor.

Georges Vilar (Montagnes-Australes-de-l’Est, New Vaucluse; Democratic Party of Omerica): Several months ago, the Sûrété néo-vauclusien and Omerican Federal Constabulary ended their joint search for Football Kelssek director at-large Moonbean Infantino when he disappeared on Mont-Saint-Pierre. However, climbers of the mountain have recently reported sightings of Mr Infantino. Has the Secretariat relayed these developments to the Kelssekian government?

Hon. Mr Chaput: The Secretariat has not had contact with the Kelssekian government about Mr Infantino since the Sûrété and Constabulary ended their search. It should be noted that these are merely alleged sightings and, as we are aware, it is difficult to confirm these reports from the Austral Mountains. It is highly unlikely that Mr Infantino could survive the conditions and we do not want to give the Infantino family false hope that Moonbeam may be alive. If substantive evidence comes to light that Mr Infantino is indeed alive, the Secretariat will relay that information to the Kelssekian government without undue delay.

Hon. Ms Davies: [in Anglian] The Green Spokesperson for Foreign Affairs has the floor.

Jennifer MacKenzie (Spokesperson for Foreign Affairs; Green Movement): Does the Secretary believe, in light of the Northlands Expansion Act, that it is time for Omerica to re-examine its relationship with Tumbra?

Hon. Mr Chaput: No, I do not. As I said in response to a question from the honourable deputy’s Liberal counterpart, we do not have reason to believe that this act violates international law, but if we are wrong, we will take responsibility for that. Nevertheless, we need friends, partners and allies wherever they can be found and Tumbra has proven steadfast in that regard. We should not be shooting ourselves in the foot in a hasty and premature drive for purity.

Hon. Philip Alders (Cerise Camp, Seafoam Islands; Omerican Socialist Party): I reckon that honourable deputies could use some good news here. After years of internal conflict, the Imperium of Squornshelous has mercifully fallen and its provinces are currently in the process of integrating into the neighbouring Confederacy, which is now itself in the process of integrating into Atlantian Oceania. Will the Secretary join me in congratulating the Squornshelouses on these remarkable and encouraging developments?

Hon. Mr Chaput: I must say that Ms [Anne-Sophie] Groothuis will probably be very displeased with the prospect of managing at AOCAF.

[Several deputies laugh.]

Hon. Mr Chaput: But on a serious note, I congratulate the Squornshelan people on this remarkable occasion on behalf of the entire Government. The fight to liberate the so-called Imperium from autocracy has been an inspiration to those of us across the multiverse who believe in freedom, democracy and humanity. Their Confederate compatriots have a difficult task ahead of them in integrating peoples who have laboured for decades under totalitarianism, but I have confidence that they will rise to the occasion. Days are early, but the situation looks promising and I think we can all agree that that is good news. Let’s just hope the Confederates take this opportunity to choose a new, shorter name.

[Several deputies laugh.]

Hon. Ms Davies: The Opposition Spokesperson for Foreign Affairs has the floor.

Hon. Ms Simon: Returning to the subject of Nyowani Kitara, I welcome the Secretary’s announcement of proposed humanitarian assistance, but what is potentially on the table in regards to an Omerican role in the Kitaran conflict?

Hon. Mr Chaput: The Government does not want to step on the toes of Rushmori nations in this situation. We condemned Sarzonia’s pathetic attempts to coerce Anaian nations into an Atlantian Oceanian order and we are not going to engage in the same kind of shenanigans in Rushmore. We will be listening to what the powerbrokers of Rushmore have to say in regards to the Kitaran Civil War and we will provide them with the support they need, even if it is merely moral support.

Hon. Ms Simon: So is the Secretary implying that the Government may potentially take a side in the conflict?

Hon. Mr Chaput: The Government has taken a side in this conflict and that is the side of freedom and justice. That is what we want in Nyowani Kitara and I am sure that is what the Kitaran people want as well. As for supporting one faction or another, it is premature at this moment to choose a side and—as I have said several times already—the Government is keen not to step on Rushmori toes. Eura has not made its position clear, Nephara has been silent so far, Kytler appears to be mulling it over and Græntfjall looks internally divided. We will listen to them first and that will inform us of what our appropriate role is.

Hon. Ms Simon: To close out, can the Government assure this House that it will not under any circumstances endorse the ruling régime?

Hon. Mr Chaput: The Government cannot deliver such assurances.

[Several deputies loudly protest.]

Hon. Ms Davies: Order. Order! This House will come to order. Deputies to my left will not interrupt the Secretary’s answer.

Hon. Mr Chaput: All options must be kept open at this stage and most key Rushmori players have not made any clear overtures. If supporting the ruling régime provides the best way out of the conflict, then that is the option that the Government must take. The door cannot be closed on anything as of yet.

Hon. Ms Davies: There being no further questions, the House will proceed to the next item on the Order Paper.

[The House proceeds to other matters.]

---

Une publication officielle des Archives fédérales omericaines — An official publication of the Omerican Federal Archives
Conformément à la loi fédérale, ce document est disponible en gaulois sur demande. — In accordance with federal law, this document is available in French upon request.

---

United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jean-Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, MS 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

---

Omerica v Oberour Ar Moro
World Cup 89 qualifying group stage — Matchday Six
Stade Rue de la Victoire, Éternare, Alleos
— and —
Montaña Verde v Omerica
World Cup 89 qualifying group stage — Matchday Seven
Estadio Metropolitano Máximo Encarnación, Santa Margarita, Montaña Verde
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Annelise Betancourt; Kara Félix, Jacques Laurent, Noah Clement, Zane Smith; Jacques-Pierre Castell, Fearchar Mac Cléirich (captain), Thom Magalhães; Jean-Paul Campagne, Malcolm Beauchesne, Adélaïde Argyris
Substitutes: Valentine Augustin, Zavier Street; Alphonse Notley, Sydney Collins, Noémi Belmonte, Frédéric Dufour; Máel Coluim Mac Ealair, Paige Boyce, Christian Marts; Ollie Tate, Arielle Poirier, Terrance Parker

---

[Montana Verde]

Vajlahrys – 1 (1)
(45+1’)

Montaña Verde – 2 (2)
Mateo; Castiglione, Tafalla, Arquímedes, Justin (23’ Juderías ); Edgar (88’ Julia Varela ); Valentinha (37’) (85’), Sara Ariadna, Kristjana; Naomí Berrocal (80’), Osito (24’) (84’ Thiago Montilla )

---

Montaña Verde – 7 (3)
Dolfo; Roberta, Arquímedes (83’), Jairo (86’ Tafalla ), Juderías; Ana-Ximena (87’ Edgar (90+4’)); Emma (67’), Sara Ariadna (18’) (66’ Julia Varela ), Kristjana; Verónica Ximena (41’, 49’), Osito (13’)

Ardealondra – 2 (0)
(51’), (69’)

Even without Primitivo and despite losing Justin to a recurrence of his achilles problem 20 minutes into the first tie, the Condors held on for a comfortable victory over Vajlahrys, then crushed Ardelark. 6 players got on the score sheet, with a first ever NT goal for center back Arquímedes. With the opposing teams not appearing to put too much effort in (such as naming their players) there wasn’t much more to be said, which made the Condors’ biggest ever win an oddly low-key affair.

Expected XI for next 2 games: Primitivo will return from injury but Justin will remain out. Mateo will regain the #1 shirt after Dolfo failed to impress in his game. Roberta looks to have won the right-back gig over Castiglione.

---

Jazmín and Jerónimo argued for much of the night about her plans.

In her view, the fact that the ‘Party of Santángel’ took her husband’s name while abandoning his policies – according to the Subcomandante, they had begun cutting public servant pensions, from bus drivers to school teachers, from sanitation workers to hospital administrators, citing budget issues – meant her own name would carry enough cachet to keep her safe.

In his view, that just showed this party could not be trusted and would regard her as an enemy to be covered up and eliminated. He pointed out they were issuing hunting licenses for rare animals to the exact same rich landowners her husband had taken on. Did that really seem like they were attached to his legacy?

She considered him blinkered and stubborn. He considered her impulsive and irresponsible. She called him a fascist. He called her a madwoman. She said he was a coward. He didn’t say anything at all, and just turned to leave. It was that word that broke the argument. He was to storm out when she caught his shoulder.

“You are not a coward. I’m sorry. I take it back. In fact, you’re the bravest man I know,” she said in a weird voice that made her sound like Patrick Stewart.

Jerónimo turned to face her with an expression of pure thunder. “I don’t care what words you use, pretty or foul. There’s nothing you can say that will convince me this is the right choice to make.”

“Then maybe I’m not trying to convince you.”

“But you are. You are arguing, you talk and you talk. Why? If your mind is set turn and go. You think I will chase after you.”

She hesitated, embarrassed to admit that’s exactly what she thought. “I know what you think of me,” she began guardedly.

“What do I think of you?” he sneered.

“How you look at me.”

Jerónimo balked. At first he denied it outright.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

He angrily refuted her. “Don’t make up such sick fantasies to distract from your craziness!”

Then came bargaining: “After so long, in the jungle, nothing but a muddy tent and the arse of the soldier in front of me, any would…”

“De nada,” she said, confusingly given everything else she said was also in ‘Verdean’ yet translated into English for the reader.

After that, depression.

“And for what. I have walked five hundred miles with you, and I would walk five hundred more,” he moped.

“Put down the guitar,” she urged him gently. “I fucking hate that song.”

And after depression…

“So I do.” He looked her in the eye. She looked him in the eye. And then he did, in fact, put down the guitar.

He never did make it out of the tent after all.

---

The next morning, Jerónimo woke alone on the bed. There was a note on the pillow, but he didn’t stop to read it, pausing only to pull on some points before charging out of the tent. Around the campfire, some of his soldiers looked up. They were brewing coffee and baking some fishes caught from the river. He realized with a start half of them were rebels: his men had mingled in with them so closely he couldn’t tell them apart at first glance. There was no sign of Jazmín or her children, or the Subcomandante.

“Where is she?”

One of the soldiers shook a little fish at him. “We took her to the river, Capitán.”

He detected just a twinge of impertinence in that Capitán. “OK. Form up to…”

“You are too late.” The Subcomandante was strolling in through the gates. “She traded her ring for passage north on a boat. They left half an hour ago.”

Jerónimo cursed himself for sleeping in so long. “I don’t believe it,” he lied. “She wouldn’t leave her children.”

“She didn’t. She took them with her. And a man named – Jaime?”

Jerónimo nodded with slow, awful certainty. Jaime was one of his youngest soldiers. Had always been good with the kids.

“Did she say –”

“She thanked me for walking her to the river,” came the stony reply. Jerónimo knew nothing more would be forthcoming.

There he stood, in the middle of a Marxist rebel camp, without the shirt on his back. The promise of a hot breakfast seemed to have shattered any counterrevolutionary spirit in his men. The woman he had spent the night confessing his love for had left without even speaking to him. Perhaps he would never see her again if he was right about the foolishness of her errand – or even then. He thought, for a long time, about what to say.

“Where are you from?”

It was the first thing he’d said that appeared to genuinely surprise the all-knowing Subcomandante. “We… are the Army of the South…”

“No, you. That accent, it’s Santa Margarita. Shit, it sounds like Tinanza.”

She smiled thinly. “La Carumal.”

He tapped his chest. “El Tracoro.” They had grown up within a block of each other.

“Now she is gone, are you here to arrest me? To raze my camp? To shoot me in the head?”

He shook his head slowly. “No.”

“Then why are you here?”

He looked over to his men.

“Well, for a start, those fishes smell pretty good…”

They walked together to the fire.

PHORCED-ACRONIM #006-MV

(I had forgotten that when Græntfjall used the PHORCED-ACRONIM system, they had a neutral or negative modifier. Montaña Verde have a +3 modifier, which in hindsight means I need to be more careful with setting deliberately silly options for the 5+ options!)

Despite making good progress north, Jazmín is going to encounter a setback in the form of…

0: a mudslide.
1: security in the capital being on high alert.
2: a bandito checkpoint.
3: A HUGE FIERCE GREEN SNAKE.
4: an unusual weather phenomenon.
5+: an accountancy convention.

(Nah, fuck that. Let’s be silly.)

5+: an attack of killer tomatoes

Her parting with Jerónimo was made awkward when he revealed he had a…

0: terminal illness.
1: message from her late husband.
2: dark secret.
3: wife.
4: husband.
5+: huge stash of foot fetish… enthusiast material.

PHORCED-ACRONIM #007-MV

If Jazmín does ever reach Santa Margarita, she’ll find a big change...

0: a major river has been diverted
1: a key building has been dynamited
2: a famous statue has been pulled down
3: a notable university has been renamed
4: a popular nightclub has been repurposed
5+: a pencil sharpener has been moved 1 inch to the left

…which she will be told about by her husband’s former…

0: secretary.
1: colleague in politics.
2: colleague in academia.
3: brother.
4: bodyguard.
5+: orthodontist’s cousin.