Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land

[Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land]

[Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land]

SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE LAND

“Hey, Evan. What'd you do at school today?”

“I won, Daddy!”

“Oh, is that right?” Evan's father smiled down at him, proud as the day he was born. “You're always a winner to me, champ.” Evan beamed and ran into the kitchen.

Matchday One
Second Period Honors Bio 1–5 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 6–8 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS

“Can I have dinosaur nuggets, Daddy?”

His father laughed. It was wonderful to see his son so happy. “Of course you can, kiddo. Just remember to eat your veggies first!”

“Aw, Daddy!”

“Sorry, I don't make the rules around here,” his father chuckled.

“But you do, Daddy!” Evan exclaimed, hoping this reminder would save him from having to endure the wretched taste of green peas.

“Oh, wait.” Evan’s father was certainly no professional actor, but he pretended to be surprised. “You're right, aren't you, Evan?” He feigned thought. “Hmm... well, no, I'm afraid you'll still have to eat those veggies.”

“Aw, Daddy!”

Matchday Two
Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center 1–7 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS
Second Period Honors Bio 7–3 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class

Evan's father looked down at the bag his son had dropped on the floor. “Evan, remember, we hang up our backpacks!”

“Sorry, Daddy!” was the response from the other room.

Evan's father then noticed a piece of paper in his son's bag. “Evan, what's this? Something from school?”

“We're going on a field trip!” Evan bounded back into the living room to ask his dad to sign the permission form. “Please, Daddy? Can I go?”

Evan's father smiled. He knew his child's teacher always took her students to a field trip to the zoo at the end of the year to learn about animals — but most of all, to make school fun. “Of course.” Evan rewarded his father with a hug.

Matchday Three
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 7–3 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 7–0 Second Period Honors Bio

He pretended he didn't already know about the trip from previous years at his son's school; to Evan, this would be his first time, and he could tell he was over the moon at the chance to visit the animals. “Where's your class going?”

“I don't know!”

“Oh, really? Let me guess: is it” — he paused for dramatic effect — “the zoo?”

Evan frowned. “No, I don't think so. But maybe? Can you play a soccer game at the zoo? But where would the monkeys go? Or maybe it's in the lion place? Would the lions be on our team or would they just be the watchers?”

Evan's father didn't have the faintest clue what his son was talking about, but he did love his imagination. “Hmm, it's hard for lions to play soccer, so I think they would be fans watching the game.”

“Okay!” Evan sprinted away, back into the kitchen. “When are we gonna have dinosaur nuggets, Daddy?”

“Just a few minutes, buddy!”

  Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS   3   3  0  0   22   7 +15    9
2 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class                                                    3   1  0  2   16  18  −2    3
3 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center                                               3   1  0  2    9  15  −6    3
4 Second Period Honors Bio                                                           3   1  0  2    8  15  −7    3

Evan's father glanced down at the permission sheet his teacher sent home with him.

Dear Parent/Guardian,

Your child has qualified for the inaugural edition of CAFA LigAnaia.

“Evan?” his father called.

[Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land]

SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE LAND

Pretend there's a compelling plot, innovative narrative technique, and captivating character development here.

Matchday One
Second Period Honors Bio 7-1 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 1-49 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS

Pretty please.

Matchday Two
Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center 1-50 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS
Second Period Honors Bio 4-3 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class

Seriously, it'd mean a lot.

Matchday Three
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 1-1 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 36-1 Second Period Honors Bio

It's not a lack of oversight; on the contrary, it's a radical invitation to use your imagination to create whatever canon of Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land you'd like to envision, bounded only by your dreams.

  Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League                             Pld   W  D  L     GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS   3   3  0  0    135    3 +132     9
2 Second Period Honors Bio                                                           3   2  0  1     12   40  −28     6
3 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class                                                    3   0  1  2      5   54  -49     1
4 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center                                               3   0  1  2      3   58  −55     1

I definitely didn't forget to RP this cycle.

[Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land]

SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE LAND

Thank you to Græntfjall for scorinating the league on short notice.

“Hello, everyone! I’m so excited to see everyone today! Welcome to preschool!”

The shapes, the colors, the sounds. It was all so exciting.

“I’m Z. Zilot-Izilv, and I’ll be your teacher for the whole year!”

And what a wonderful year it was.

Matchday One
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 76–0 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
Second Period Honors Bio 1–1 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class

“I think we have a few new faces this year! Why don’t we meet them?” Z. Zilot-Izilv was beaming. They clearly loved their job. They clearly loved their students. “Why don’t we start with —” they reached into a hat, filled with the names of new students, extracting one lucky name to begin “— let’s start with — oh. Um —” suddenly, the teacher’s smile went away. They squinted at the sheet and furrowed their nose, and they brought the small scrap of bright yellow paper closer to their face so they could read it properly. “Um, I think this says Nulzk— um, I think it says Nulzk-Yonesh Eva?” Z. Zilot-Izilv glanced around the room nervously. “Let’s give them a big warm welcome!”

Matchday Two
Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center 0–1 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 65–0 Second Period Honors Bio

After all the introductions were over, Tla patted Eva on the shoulder.

“Why’s your name Nulzk-Yonesh? That’s not a Qusma name at all.”

“No, it’sJONES, not Yonesh!”

Eva was perhaps a bit excitable, but being in a new school — a preschool, at that — could certainly have that effect — not to mention Z. Zilot-Izilv’s welcome. Why couldn’t they read Nulzk-Jones Eva correctly? Was there something wrong with Eva?

“Oh. Okay.” Tla, evidently, was rather matter-of-fact. “Do you like dinosaurs?”

“I LOVE dinosaurs!”

“Eva! Settle down!”

Eva didn’t care. Eva had a friend.

Matchday Three
Second Period Honors Bio 7–0 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 0–75 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS

“And then the evil robot pirates fighted the super cool awesome space laser dinosaurs!”

“On the Moon!”

“Yeah, on the Moon!”

“Yeah! Yeah! And then, and then, and then they had a big fight, and then, and then — And then what happened?”

Eva looked at their new friend, suddenly sullen. “I’m sorry, I don’t know, Tla.” Eva broke into tears.

“It’s okay! It’s okay, Eva!” Tla gave Eva a long hug until their friend had stopped crying.

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Eva wiped away a tear, then brightened up at the idea of seeing Tla again. “Yeah. Tomorrow!”

  Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League                                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA   GD  Pts
1 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS         3   3  0  0  216   0 +216    9
2 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class                                                          3   1  1  1    2  76  −74    4
  Second Period Honors Bio                                                                 3   1  1  1    8  66  −58    4
4 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center                                                     3   0  0  3    0  84 − 84    0

Note on league order
League officials were not able to count above ten, so the tie between Second Period Honors Bio and Ms. Johnson’s First-Grade Class was unbreakable. Ms. Johnson’s First-Grade Class earned the second and final CAFA LigAnaia spot awarded by the Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League by winning games two and three of a best-of-three series of rock paper scissors shoot.

[Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land]

SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE LAND

Notes on competition formats
The Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League will run as normal: a single round robin tournament with four teams.

The Cool Trophy will also be introduced this year. It will be a ladder tournament, involving all Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League teams, staged, at least in part, via Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League matches. The Cool Trophy’s first round will be contested on Matchday One, between the previous season’s champion and whoever their Matchday One opponent is. The second round will be contested between the winner of that match and whoever their Matchday Two opponent is. If the winner of that match is also the team that won in the first round, the third round will be contested between that team and whoever their Matchday Three opponent is. If the winner of the first round loses in the second round, the second round winner will contest a special third round match after the season against whoever their Matchday One opponent was. If Cool Trophy matches end in draws, matches will proceed directly to a rock-papers-scissors shootout at their conclusion.

Matchday One
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 95-0* Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
Second Period Honors Bio 2-1 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class
* Cool Trophy First Round

I remember this photo. It was — I was, what, five, six? Couldn’t’ve been older than six, I think. I don’t remember much from then, but I do remember this. This moment. Just — ah. That was beautiful. I was just playing with my toy dinosaurs, in the mud, not a care in the world.

Matchday Two
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 0-99* THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS
Second Period Honors Bio 2-1 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
* Cool Trophy Second Round

God, I knew so much about dinosaurs back then. I was practically obsessed. I guess lots of kids are at that age, but I thought I was an expert or something. Ha, I wish. Or at least I did, I wished I was an expert. Funny, six-year-old me knew exactly what I wanted to do, but I have no idea now. And I’m supposed to be practically an adult.

Matchday Three
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 74-0* Second Period Honors Bio
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 4-1 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
* Cool Trophy Third Round

I wonder: what’s to say I’m not some sort of dino expert? Wait, what’s the word — paleontologist? Why’s there have to be a word for it, anyways? Why can’t it just be someone who loves dinosaurs? Why can’t I just love dinosaurs? Why can’t I just go back to those days, to that time, when everyplace was beautiful, when everything was magical, when everyone was kind and good?

  Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League                                Pld   W  D  L    GF   GA    GD   Pts
1 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS      3   3  0  0   268    0  +268     9
2 Second Period Honors Bio                                                              3   2  0  1     4   76   -72     6
3 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class                                                       3   1  0  2     5  102   -97     3
4 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center                                                  3   0  0  3     2  101   -99     0

Ah. That was really nice. Maybe I should look through these albums more often. Thanks for the memories, scrapbook.

No
Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center 1–0 Year 11 Geography

Wait. It’s over.

NO
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 3–0 Year 11 Geography

What’s happening?

NOOO
Second Period Honors Bio 0–3 Year 11 Geography

This isn’t supposed to be happening. Why is this happening. Why is this happening.

no.
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 1–0* Year 11 Geography
* Cool Trophy Fourth Round

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO! N—

  Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League                                Pld   W  D  L    GF   GA    GD   Pts
1 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS      4   4  0  0   269    0  +269    12
2 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class                                                       4   2  0  2     8  102   -94     6
  Second Period Honors Bio                                                              4   2  0  2     4   79   -75     6
4 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center                                                  4   1  0  3     3  101   -98     3
  Year 11 Geography                                                                     4   1  0  3     3    5    -2     3

Notes on tiebreakers
Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center was awarded fourth over Year 11 Geography on account of its superior number of points earned against Year 11 Geography (three v. zero).

Ms. Johnson’s First-Grade Class was awarded second over Second Period Honors Bio on account of its superior number of points earned against Year 11 Geography (three v. zero).

[Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land]

SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE LAND

Matchday One
Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center 0–1 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class
Second Period Honors Bio 0–56 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS

“Remember when you tried to make dino nuggets?”

Tla and Eva were remembering their experiences together participating in FLAGS fondly.

“Yeah! Oh my gosh, they weren’t happy with that.”

“No! But they were such good dino nuggets!”

“I know! Dino nuggets are always good! But they said something about having to use the ingredients, or not cooking something from the store or something. But everything’s from the store!”

“Yeah! Where’d they get those super special ingredients from?”

“The store!”

Matchday Two
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 3–5 Second Period Honors Bio
Year 10 Geography 5–0 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center

“Wait, do you remember when we did the pirating thing?”

“When we went around in a boat and shot foam guns at floating things in the water?”

“Yeah! And we even dressed up like pirates, with the eye patches and the arrrs and everything!”

“That was so cool!”

“Evan wasn’t very happy, though.”

Evan finally jumped into the conversation. “It wasn’t fair! We were the only ones using foam guns instead of real guns. Foam guns barely go anywhere, and the wind out on the water makes the foam bullet go everywhere. We practically had to get right next to the targets to have any chance of hitting them. That definitely cost us a medal.”

Evan was sad. That made Tla and Eva sad.

Matchday Three
Second Period Honors Bio 1–8 Year 10 Geography
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 82–0 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class

Tla changed the subject of the conversation. “Remember when we did the drink thingy? And you made apple juice instead of coffee? That was so funny!”

Eva was confused.. “Tla? That didn’t happen. I never made apple juice.”

Tla looked back at them with a blank expression. “Of course you did, Eva! You did! I remember it!”

“I’m pretty sure I’d remember if something like—”

“Eva!” Evan called out. “Stop!”

Matchday Four
Year 10 Geography 0–62 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS
Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center 1–5 Second Period Honors Bio

“Stop what?” asked Eva. “Stop what, Evan?”

“Tla,” Evan continued, ignoring Eva, “what happened in that event? Who won it? Did the judges like the apple juice? Did Eva win?”

Tla had never looked so confused in their life. “I— I don’t remember.” Did they look— scared? “I don’t remember. I don’t remember.”

Evan embraced them and tried to shush them, but this was scary for Eva.

“Evan? Evan, what’s going on?”

Matchday Five
THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS 54–0 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center
Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class 1–5 Year 10 Geography

“I’m sorry, Eva.”

  Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land Soccer League                                Pld   W  D  L    GF  GA    GD   Pts
1 THE SUPER COOL AWESOME SUPER TEAM OF SPACE LASER DINOSAUR ROBOT PIRATE ALL STARS      4   4  0  0   254   0  +254    12
2 Year 10 Geography                                                                     4   3  0  1    18  64   −46     9
3 Second Period Honors Bio                                                              4   2  0  2    11  68   −57     6
4 Ms. Johnson's First-Grade Class                                                       4   1  0  3     5  92   −87     3
5 Happy Orchards Pre-K Learning Center                                                  4   0  0  4     1  65   −64     0