Chapter 75: The Boy Distant as the Sky
“I never quite realized that it would all turn out like this,” Samir Sinmuballit’s voice was as clear and ringing as Alu’s room was dark. There was no hint of disapproval, no sign of enthusiasm or joy either. Just a sober, neutral voice delivering what he said in a matter-of-fact manner. And on the other side, the listener was also in no mood for enthusiasm, either from himself or from his father’s end.
“It is what it is,” Alu said in a manner somehow even flatter than his father’s. “Everything that I’ve done, all of my decisions, it all has led to this.”
“You know I don’t want to pressure you into making any kind of decision,” Samir added. “And you know what your mother and I think of all this, but, well, you’re an adult now, and… even if we try to do anything I know you wouldn’t let us.” He allowed himself a quiet, almost suppressed chuckle. Not that it helped lighten the mood in any way.
“You don’t have to worry about all this, Dad. All the attention is on me. It’s all about what Alulim Sinmuballit has done. Nothing to do with his parents whatsoever. I make my own decisions.”
“I know,” the elder Sinmuballit acknowledged. “I just worry about you. Your mother too. No matter what, I would rather be the suffering one than my son. It… it just worries to see everything that’s going on.”
“I worry about everyone,” Alu stated, giving a nod that his father couldn’t see on the other end of the connection. “Which is why – and I don’t think I’ve told you before – I have made my decision. There isn’t a way back for me and Emma.”
And then silence. For a minute that felt like it lengthened to an hour, the world came to a standstill. No noise, no nothing, but two men reduced to silence.
“Well that… if I understand it correctly…”
“I’ve got to break it off with her. For the sake of everyone. If that is what must be done to save this whole city from burning, then I will do it. I’ve just to go find her, wherever she is right now, and tell that to her face, for the sake of courtesy.”
“I’ll have to be honest with you,” Samir replied, “I think this nation’s problems go way beyond you and her.”
“I know.”
“I mean, I won’t do anything to intervene here, because I know it won’t matter anyway, but I hope you are not feeling pressured, at least from my end,” his father continued. “If you feel-“
“Oh, no, no,” Alu cut his father off. “I don’t- I don’t feel pressured by you, if that’s what you’re thinking. But I am doing this for you, for our family, for… everyone else, really, in this country.”
“I fear that even that won’t stop this country from… going down whatever path it’s now going down on.”
“I know, but if this can help address the problem, even if just a little,” Alu replied. “Come on, I know you won’t be holding me back, right? Because… well, yeah…”
There was no immediate response from his father. For all his leniency and tolerance, both sides knew there was never any doubt as to Samir and her wife’s opinion on this matter, and the concerns that they had – and had been having for a long time.
“You’re always one of a kind, you know that,” Samir said. “Even when you were still a kid, people said there’s… something in you that will lead you to greatness, to become a great man and all that.”
“But the cost is that I will have to stand alone, and stand alone often. And today, not even she can be on my side,” Alu continued. “One of a kind, unique… so different from others.”
In a low voice, after a halt, he added, “So distant.”