World Cup 51 roleplay thread

[Cosumar]

COSUMAR WC 51 UPDATE
Cosumar falls again, victory drought continues!
By John K. Diamondhead of CSBN.com

Cosumar loses once again, contuing their winless streak which has been building since their last win against Upper North Yorkshire on week 5. Yesterday for Matchday 10, the Dragons traveled to Krytenia for a desperate game Cosumar needed to begin climbing back to the top of the group. Unfortunately this did not happen. Both teams played a very defensive game: unwilling to take risk losing this crucial game. Last time these two teams matched up in matchday 1, it was the same. That game resulted in a 0-0 draw! However in this game some goals were actually scored: three in fact. Cosumar came out the gates on fire flattening the Krytenian defense it the first half. The first goal was scored by Cosumaran MF Irvinn Rincon in the 16th minute. Despite Cosumar's fiery offesnive player they could not squeeze any more goals past GK Choi-An Sun, who played brilliantly.

Now the Krytenia team was scared. The possibility of losing to the debuting 9th place Cosumar was indeed a frightening prospect. After several halftime adjustments and a moving lecture by Manager Marc Olic, the Krytenian squad came out much more sharp for the second half. Their agressiveness on defense halted Cosumar's offensive efforts and their midfielders led by Warren Kennedy-Worthington effectively intercepted the ball on launched them to the forwards. Krytenia's Damon Parker scored the equalizing goal in the 61st minute off an assist from Ricky Sexton. Cosumar attempted to rebound but just couldn't get anything past Choi-An Sun.

Krytenia obtained another goal in the 84th minute. Cosumaran MF Irvinn Rincon was dribbling the ball across midfield but did not see Sexton sneak in front of him. Rincon attempted to dish the ball out to Rikki Varshney but Sexton was quick and ripped the ball away from Rincon and sprinted the other way running up to the goal-atrracting GK Adjei Kontoh's attention. Then Sexton dumped it off to Ricky Smeaton who hammered in a goal behing Adjei Kontoh's back. 2-1 Krytenia. Despite their efforts, the Dragons could not get an equalizing goal and their hopes of qualifying were dashed once again.


Cosumar's (black) Irvinn Rincon dukes it out with Krytenia's (blue) Lewis Osmond

COSUMAR: 1
scorer: Rincon (16th min.)
KRYTENIA: 2
scorers: Parker (61st min.) and Smeaton (84th min.)

Cosumar's World Cup so far

1 ) vs. Krytenia, DRAW 0-0
2 ) vs. Aguazul, DRAW 1-1
3 ) vs. Ursine Northlands, VICTORY 4-3
4 ) vs. Mice of Miceland, LOSS 3-0
5 ) vs. Upper North Yorkshire, VICTORY 3-2
6 ) vs. Silver Beach, LOSS 3-1
7 ) vs. Starblaydia, LOSS 3-1
8 ) vs. Zarbli, DRAW 1-1
9 ) vs. Mantwenic, LOSS 1-0
10 ) vs. Krytenia, LOSS 2-1

Next 3:

11 ) vs. Aguazul
12 ) vs. Ursine Northlands
13 ) vs. Mice of Miceland

[Jeru FC]

Jeruselem Government News

Jeru FC Beer launched

The Jeru FC team launched the Jeru FC brand beer today. The motto for the beer is "The best way to get wasted". There were no Princesses available for the launch, so they grabbed the nearest Dallas - Sam Sallad from Naked News Jeruselem who isn't a Princess technically.

Jeru FC beer is a lager and not an Ale. It has 5% alcohol content in it's regular version but the special version is 10%. Testing was done by giving it to Jeruselem army folk and seeing what they thought of it. They also gave away samples to people in Southern Northland to find out how they found the beer.

You can buy Jeru FC beer from any good beer merchant or from any Jeruselem army depot (only for Jeruselemite army folk).

We have from Jeru FC's cooking authority (Willy Wonky), it's good for cooking too and good for beer batter with seafood. For more information, the web site is www.jerufcbeer.com.jew

[The Mice of Miceland]

Originally on the first match of qualifying the team from Aguazul came and well showed us just how much further we had to go in the world cup. A clear and well-deserved 3-1 win against our mice at home. This time our mice travelled to their place and while a similar result was expected the mice were able to turn this on its head.

The conditions on the field may have hampered their human opponents but this was not the case for the mice. Peter and Hector took the score to an early 2-nil advantage. However as any good team, the Aguazul team managed through a set piece to score a goal but Richard LionMouse soon once again extended the lead back to 2 goals.

It seemed that finally the aguazul team started to adapt to the playing conditions but it was a bit too late. Cobarrubias returned the difference back to one but that was where it finally stayed.

Jack FrostMouse’s Game

Jack FrostMouse made his way through the corridor and chose the one corridor that went around to the other side of the corridor. There were two doors, Jack opened and checked both of them. They both lead back to the same larger corridor.

There was no sound coming from the speaker that had previously talked to Danielle. The doors closed themselves and locked, somehow this didn’t surprise him. He saw someone on the ground, it was obvious to the detective even from this distance that they were dead, he started jogging up to the body and checked it. It was Boris, another missing person with half of his chest blown away.

Well, at least Danielle still had a chance to be alive. He tried to call in for back-up and to report the find of Boris’ body but as expected his phone didn’t work. He’d have to get out of here, find and rescue Danielle and then well capture this Jigsaw character. He was going to be in for a big day.

He started walking again and found what seemed to be where Danielle started… or at least seemed to be, there was an exit through the window, a bath, some released handcuffs and the TV. As he entered the door locked and closed behind him, the Television started up…

“Why do you have to try and save everybody, Jack? You can’t do things for them if they are not willing to do it for themselves. Danielle has her own game which she needs to play… you’re game is the waiting game, let’s see how good you are at it. Shall we?”

Danielle’s Game

As Danielle opened the door instead of continuing onwards, from out of nowhere a large bit of metal came springing out from above the door and broadsided her. It hit her with enough force to knock her back into the pit and send her sliding across the bottom of the pit. She was all covered in dirty black muck and she really wanted a shower but there were none around.

She tried to get up on her paws but the black goo was really slippery, she slipped originally but now that she knew, she was able to try a second time and was able to make it back up on her hind legs, she slowly made it to the edge of the pit, now the question was how to get up.

For a moment she was distracted as she heard a rather strange ticking, the confusion was replaced with terror as she discovered that the sparking had ignited a jet of flame the burst into the pit, luckily she was well away from the jet but, she had to wonder, was the black goo flammable, and just how easy it would be to set alight.

No she had too worry about the pit wall and had to get up ASAP and so she had to work out while being slippery herself and while being in a mass of slippery mess. Though perhaps she could use the slippery conditions of the pit to her advantage?

She pondered a second and came up with a solution. She pushed herself off the side of the pit, projecting herself at a reasonable speed to the other end, while travelling she turned her self around so that she could use the energy and then repel herself back at the edge she wanted to get up at just over a quarter of the way left to go she sort of leapt from the floor. She clipped the edge of the pit but with the goo and the momentum, it was enough to keep going forward making her way back up to the top of the pit. As she did, the entire pit seemed to burst into flame. She had made it just in time.

[Commerce Heights]

Matchday 11 scores are now up.

[Delaclava]

Had one seen just a few highlights from the Delaclava-Cafundeu match at Golden Phoenix Field, one would have guessed that the score was maybe 4-0, 5-0 in the Monopolists' favor. The offense just controlled that much of the game. The defense couldn't hold them off forever, even though they were doing very well defending their net. The Cafundelese got 22 shots, nine of them on frame.

Final score? A surprisingly exciting scoreless tie.

While Leandro Félix Garrido was bored, picking up a couple of rollers and stopping one cannon, his Delaclav counterpart was busy the whole game. As the defense of Radicci, William, Rodríguez, and Batoré waited for a possible counterattack, the opposing line of Calvin Pope, Sheldon Berrera, and Jamal Pacheco were exhausted down to the bone marrow by game's end.

So did the Phoenixes get lucky? Probably just a little. But backup goalkeeper Kyle Tran coined the game to be "the greatest defensive effort this team has ever shown. We played like Yaforites today."

Coach Anatoliy Titov, whose main attacking strategy of penetrating from the wings was barely put into play today, couldn't find a reason to fault them. "I've watched the game film twice, and I haven't found anything that these boys did wrong on one end of the field. Clearly we were deficient on the other end, but it was a job well done."

There was one scary moment for the defense. As Pope and Welton Guimarães went for a header, it appeared to be clean. But the Krytenian referee thought otherwise as he whistled play down and signaled for a penalty kick. Fortunately, Torres read Rafael Nunes perfectly, punching the kick out of the left corner.

"Obviously we wanted three," Pope said, "but we got one, and we're damn proud of it. This is seriously an elite team we faced, and we scored a victory. For us, and for those 1,815 victims," he added, pointing to the black patch that was sewn onto his left arm, a reminder of events that feel like they happened yesterday.

As far as the other groupies go, Jesselton and Milchama tied, keeping Milchama underneath Delaclava and Jesselton only two points ahead. In fact everyone tied but Lovable Weirdos, who scored a 1-0 win over Ancient Astronauts to take a two-point lead over the Phoenixes and sit in second with 19 points. Cafundeu sits in first place firmly with 24 points. "Obviously," Stanley Ichtyelkov said, "we lost ground to Lovable Weirdos, but it's really not concerning. It's not like they beat anyone they shouldn't have. With this draw, there's no reason to think we can't go the whole second half undefeated. We'll knock off Jesselton and Lovable Weirdos while we're at it."

In the first meetings, Delaclava beat Jesselton 4-2 but lost to Lovable Weirdos 2-1. "We know what we did wrong, and we can fix it," Titov said. "That loss isn't happening again."

[Jeruselem]

Princess Helena looking bored on the bench because she's not allowed to play due to her red card with the assistant coach "Pups" Ferris and the coach Ricky Pointy Stick. Jacinta Jacob is busy texting while Regina Desiree is talking gun ammunitions with Sister Daffles. Princess Shay is polishing her nails.

Pups: Hey Claire, you doing a show about cooking with beer?
Helena: Maybe, I'm not inviting that Wonky character back.
Pups: Well, get someone else then.
Helena: Like who?

Pups: The Jeru FC coach, he's a good man.
Helena: I suppose he's not going to get drunk before and during the show.
Pups: You tried that Jeru FC beer?
Helena: I'm too upper class for beer these days.

Pups: You have to not lose touch with the common people who drink beer.
Helena: All the people I know who love beer are drunken idiots.
Pups: Jeru FC isn't a great example of typical beer drinkers.
Helena: Just an extreme example.

Pups: They are nice people!
Helena: I know ... I swear that referee has one working eye.
Pups: That wasn't an offside, she was all square. I don't think a refs job is easy.
Helena: I know that but they never admit they make any mistakes.

Pups: Some do
Helena: How come I get sent off by the ones who don't.
Pups: Maybe they think you have too much attitude.
Helena: Me? My mother was worse!

Pups: I admit I wasn't much better than you.
Helena: See ...
Pups: We should be more considerate.
Helena: Maybe the refs should drink Jeru FC beer before the game, chill them out.

Pups: That would be interesting.
Helena: Make them happier people.
Pups: But that would be probably illegal.
Helena: I know ...

Pups: Why are you wearing that Hello Kitty dress today.
Helena: I'm not going to bloody playing am I?
Pups: You're grumpy aren't you.
Helena: I am ...

Pups: What's up there, that was a legal tackle! He went down like a wuss.
Helena: People look at us and think we're going be like wusses. Not us.
Pups: There's someone with a camera looking up your skirt.
Helena: Who cares?

Pups: The skirt isn't exactly very long.
Helena: I'd sit here naked if I was allowed to.
Pups: You would too.
Helena: I'm just bored.

[Aguazul]

La Verdad

Six goals light up Fire River Arena

The national football team drew again with Cosumar. This time around, both teams scored three goals. "We'd had four, we'd had two, we'd had one, we'd had zero," reminisced Beto while enjoying his second beer for the price of one. "Not that you can draw any conclusions, but now we're filling in the gap. And it sounds like teams can draw with even more goals."

Fans in the Fire River Arena, some of them traveling supporters who helped it live up to at least part of its name, saw the first goal in the seventeenth minute from the hosts' Kevin Park, off a pass from Teemu Koponen. Aguazul equalized through Gunsedal Cisneros eleven minutes afterwards; Cisneros shook off Thomas Hair and Srikar Donopati in turn before scoring. Chago Villalobos came up for a corner kick late in the first half, and his header gave Aguazul the lead.

Rikki Varshney was booked for diving early in the second half on an admittedly unclear Olivar Bravo challenge; Varshney seemed nervous throughout the game, but atoned for his lapse with an equalizing goal in minute 56. Despite being marked by Sergio Bustamante and Gerardo Riquelme, the embattled Brian Emerson held his own to score a booming goal that brought fans to their feet. It took a debut goal from substitute Juan Esteban Oraglio to secure the draw for Aguazul.

Meanwhile, Starblaydia defeated Mantwenic, Krytenia were upset by Silver Beach, and The Mice of Miceland beat The Ursine Northlands. An exhausted Cristian Delgado could only claim that Zarbli's draw with Upper North Yorkshire "won't hurt us in the long run", before announcing that Oraglio and Vedillo Bazán would start when we host Silver Beach next matchday.

[Bisgea]

BISGEAN WORLD CUP UPDATE

The Bisgean National Football Team lost again earlier today against Tarrentum. This has been a bad world cup for Bisgea which now has only two wins, one draw, and eight loses. Its last win had been against Khytenna with the score of 4-1. Bisgea lost every match after that, bringing it to the bottom of Group 9.

During Bisgea's last match against Tarrentum, back in the second matchday, they also lost 1-3. Now, in their second match against them, they lost again! The team are in bad shape, their morale decreasing after every lost. Bisgea's next match will be against The Shinnian Islands whose last match against Bisgea ended in a draw.

The Resuts so far:
[MD1]Sargossa 2-0 Bisgea
[MD2]Bisgea 1-3 Tarrentum
[MD3]The Shinnian Islands 1-1 Bisgea
[MD4]Kelssek 1-2 Bisgea
[MD5]Bisgea 4-1 Khytenna
[MD6]Loonaterian 3-0 Bisgea
[MD7]Bisgea 1-4 Toiletdonia
[MD8]Pays de Horreur 4-3 Bisgea
[MD9]Bisgea 0-1 Bostopia
[MD10]Bisgea 1-2 Sargossa
[MD11]Tarrentum 4-2 Bisgea
[MD12]Bisgea - The Shinnian Islands
[MD13]Bisgea - Kelssek
[MD14]Khytenna - Bisgea
[MD15]Bisgea - Loonaterian
[MD16]Toiletdonia - Bisgea
[MD17]Bisgea - Pays de Horreur
[MD18]Bostopia - Bisgea

[Virabia]

The Vonghurst Star
VFA announces Sampson replacement

VONGHURST - Today at 17:00, many suspicions became reality, as Brett Sampson announced that his replacement would be Cafundelense Manager Waldenyr Caldas, whom was chosen over Virabi Hal Baker. The new manager [Caldas] will take the helm immediately following Virabia's final qualifying match against Vephrall. Until then, he will be getting to know the players, and assess their strengths and weaknesses.

So, Who Is Waldenyr Caldas?

Waldenyr Caldas is a top notch manager from Cafundeu, which is a country to the north of us in Atlantaen Ocieana. He has managed various domestic clubs to success some of which include two national league championships and a cup title with Petardos S/A. This is supplemented by a good amount of state championship titles. He was also at the helm of Cafundeu's National Squad during the World Cup 50 cycle.

His managing style tends to be more lax than other Cafundelense managers, tending not to prepare as many set pieces and other tactical specifics. However, this does not mean that he lacks tactical knowledge of the sport. He possesses a lot, but lets his players show off theirs. Which is a perfect fit for a team like Virabia, as Brett Sampson used the same practice. As for his preferred formation, hat is the 4-3-3 but with the national team he will likely be using the 4-4-2 diamond.

With Caldas set to replace Sampson, FootieWorld will air selected games from his career every night until he takes the helm. The games will air at 22:00.
_______________________________________________________________________________________

[Hockey Canada]

HC Lost

[Khytenna]

Royal Khytenna news

Sargossa get the goals to be the six islands.

Sargossa – 2

Pozo 78th 90+1st

Khytenna - 0

After a great first half from a much improved side, Khytenna falls victim to 2 second half goals from pozo ending in a 2-0 defeat away.

Khytenna started to where down the Sargossan defense very early in the the game, Firestone made a run for goal in the 5th minute of the game, dodging past Blanco and Mérida but Fergal made an error in the timing of his shot, and he sailed over the the crossbar, although the shot wasn’t there the khytenna threat was back. Hugh Agan got a shot as well in the first half, a long range effot after a pass back from Carmichael ended in a rattling of the crossbar, but khytenna looking for an upset. Sargossa wasn’t going to take it lying down! Pozo made mince meat of the khytenna defense on two occasions, both saved by the keeper, but he was making the defense work realy hard . The best chance of the First half for khytenna surly had to be Syd’s shot in the 40th minute. A thoughball by Agan left a chance wide open for Syd, who did put in the back of the net, Khytenna thought they were a goal up but the linesman signalled that Thorne was just offside when the ball was played, it was a good call from the linesman.

Khytenna carried on with what they left of in the second half. Early shots from the khytennan stickers proved to be hard to handle. But it wasn’t just the front to Sargossa had to worry about it was the midfielders as well. In the 58th minute, Ringwood made a run in box, he looked to cross, but instead made a powerful shot at goal which was pushed over for a corner. Pozo was still a big threat in the this half as well, he made a decent run into box, which he passed across goal to Ordoñéz who missed a golden opertunity to score. Khytenna best chance of the game came from a corner in the 70th minute, Thorne a cross in to the box a header from Charmichel was pushed out by Tejera, a head from Agan was defelcted by the post, and then firestone was there for a simple tap in, but Blanco skied it out for a throw in, khytenna was frustrated that they couldn’t make that chance into a goal. In the 78th minute tradudy stuck for khytenna, a run into a the box, Pozo had his shirt tugged back from Shurtz, the Ref decided that it in the penalty box and it was rewarded to Sargossa. Khytenna made no protest, they knew that they were in the wrong. Pozo took it and scored, all khytenna’s work was for nothing after that moment. Khytenna battled but to no avale, Sargossa got a goal in the extra time to make sure the game was there’s for the taking with a excellent run by Pozo ended up in a goal in the top left corner of the goal.

Khytenna was beaten, but lots to take out of the this game. But it is obvious now that khytenna wont make the world cup.

Coach Proctor said this after the game
“we played very well after that game, there is nothing to be ashamed about. We played hard, we made decent chances, unfotunily we didn’t convert them to goals. Personal i thought that the challenge on Pozo was outside the box. But it was the ref desistion in the end. We will be taking the game to Tarrentum like we took it to Sargossa today, but just some training and belief in ourselves will get some decent results”

Hugh Agan made an announcement at the end of the game.

“if thought about it long and hard, but im not as young as i was, im 35 now and ive done well in my playing career but whatever happens i will be retering after the world cup from international football and next session will be my last. I wanting other young players to come thought to play in my spot. I love my country and love this sport, but its time to say good bye after the world cup.”


There will be no changes in the line up that played against sargossa.

GK 1. Michele Welte (Persepi Sharks FC)
LB 19. Shad Vancil ( Keltyme Foresters)
RB 3. james Ursua (Blue bay Fc)
CB 17. Nelson Bohannan (Duke’s District FC)
CB 14. Matt Shurtz ( Percepi Sharks)
RW 7. Casey Thorne (capt) (Central FC)
LW 9 Neil Ringwood(Blue bay FC)
AM 22. Hugh Agan (Telio Checkers)
CM23.John Carmichael(Central FC)
ST 11. Allan Syd (Xephik Reds)
FC 10. Fergal Firestone (Blue bay FC)


Subs:
13. Tim Gatton (Xepthic Reds))
21. Darryl Jolin(Portside Park FC)
4. Kerrian Sheetz (Blue Bay FC)
20. Lini Pellett (AS New Haven )
8. Kurk Rusek (Drakes City)
5. Teddy Berkeley (Central FC)


------------------------Welte

Sheetz---------Shurtz --Bohannan----Ursua

Ringwood ------ Carmichael---Thorne (capt)
----------------------Agan
-----------------Syd----Firestone

[Toiletdonia]

Pays de Horreur 2–0 Toiletdonia

Milak's Blog
In the world cup it has been a while since a win. Last competitive victory was sadly against Bisgea and that was a 4-1 pounding of them. We have lost some very winnable games like against Khytenna and that draw with Loonaterian 0-0. We all need to pull together and win some games. Kelssek okay we expect to lose to them but Pays de Horreur we were expecting a draw really. This has been a really bad qualification period and really I think it was wrong to drop Tellvos and Yenco. We need to keep all the old players really. Tellvos especially. We haven't scored that much recently in the world cup either. So in the end I think is time we looked forward to the cup of harmony and gave up on our dreams in the world cup. I would expect us to qualify for the next one though. I hope so because my next will be my last and hopefully my best. The game wasn't a good one they bossed us round the pitch and we couldn't do anything about it. I should have scored at least five times but I skied it and Tota really needed to put at least one away. We really needed to try harder in that game and should have had a better scoreline. Minos the new kid did surprisingly well but really he is still too young for the first team in my opinion. I wish that we could win maybe a game or to I'm fed up with this and wish I could skip to the cup of harmony or at least be part of a team fighting to qualify. The games we are playing against the animals have gone well but are they enough to prep us for it? We beat them 3-2 in our latest game but still they are animal and that is how it should work.

LowCoff's Blog
Really I would do better teaching monkeys. They were rubbish in that game and really sucked. I couldn't believe how bad it was. It was atrocious as football gets and they should have scored on more than one occasion they really need to put them away when they're country is counting on them. Milak really needs some training and so does Tota but they are my best strikers and I know they know how to score goals. I really wish we could win more than the games we have really we should have an extra 8 points on top of what we already have. That would have put us in fourth. That would be good, very good. We really need to pick up where we are at the minute and improve. In fact I might quit as it happens but I can't cave now we still have some matches left but if we go down without a fight I will resign. I think Minos did his job in the game but he still is a bit young to be playing at the highest level. I also think that it was a mistake to get rid of Tellvos he is still a great play maker. I think that Milak had a bad game and the team as a group. But we can still do well and still improve win a few games in a row and we'll be back on track against and be looking good. This is about building up our rank not winning anything I didn't expect to qualify I expected to go down fighting against it. I was hoping for the lads to really push for everything but they just don't seem to be as inspired as me. I hear though that there is a job open at Vatalors and they're a team that want to win the league and prove the impossible possible. I love the crazy dreams people have of winning big things. I'm looking for that not this. This team is uninspiring and not really full of the spirit I need. They need a manager who can make a good team stay level not me.

"So the drugs didn't work?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Now what?"

"We try something else."

"What though."

"Voodoo?"

"Maybe."

"What about peeing again?"

"Nah."

"What then?"

"I have it!"

"What?"

"It."

"What is it?"

"I tell you."

"Yeah tell me."

"I will."

"Go on then."

"Yes."

"Hurry up."

"What about."

"Your idea!"

"What idea."

"The one to help us win."

"Er..."

"Well?"

"Oh yeah. Cats!"

"What about them?"

"We give them to the players!"

"Your crazy!"

"It'll help they're confidants."

"How?"

"They love cats."

"Okay I see but where do we get them from?"

"The pet shop."

"That'll cost a fortune."

"So?"

"We'll go bust."

"So then we get moggies."

"But they're scabby."

"Not if we get posh ones."

"Okay I guess."

"So you happy then?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"What?"

"Pardon?"

"Sorry?"

"Who?"

"You."

"What?"

"I dunno."

---

Scores:
Milak- 5
Tota- 5
Dehaim- 3
Yenco- 2
Jankor- 2
Tellvos- 1
Vust- 1
Velcota- 1

Assists:
Tellvos- 4
Velcota- 4
Jankor- 3
Dehaim- 2
Bright- 1
Tota- 1

---

The story so far
20-5-10: Vs. Lithatrius 1-1 D
21-5-10: Vs. Kelssek 0-1 L
22-5-10: Vs. Pays de Horreur 1-1 D
23-5-10: Vs. Bostopia 3-3 D
24-5-10: Vs. Sargossa 2-1 W
25-5-10: VS. Tarrentum 5-1 W
26-5-10: Vs. The Shinnian Islands 1-0 L
27-5-10: Vs. Bisgea 4-1 W
28-5-10: Vs. Khytenna 0-1 L
29-5-10: Vs. Loonaterian 0–0 D
30-5-10: Vs. Undeadzombiee 4-1 W
30-5-10: Vs. Khytenna 2-1 W
31-5-10: Vs. Kelssek 0-2 L
1-6-10: Vs. Pay de Horreur 0-2 L

[Tarrentum]

Henry Qund looked around the plane as the Falcons flew to Khytenna for their next WC51 match. They had won two straight, an easy match against The Shinnian Islands and their surprising victory in Imperium Stadium against number 91 ranked Bisgea. Still, Qund had been feeling uneasy after his encounter with the Meddician Nationalist last week. He hadn't told anyone about the incident yet the government had somehow already known about it, sending two well dressed men to his room to "debrief" him after the Kelssek match.

Qund finally realized he had to tell someone about the incident, if not for the sole reason that it was eating away at him. Qund got up from his seat and went to the back where Victor Flavius "Praetor" Kulli was seated. Qund plopped himself and tapped Kulli's arm to get his attention as he was busy reading and had headphones on his ears.

"Wha? What?" Kulli swung his head around to look at Qund. "What's going on man, come to thank me again for those two assists during Bisgea?"

Qund smiled. "Well, I do thank you for them but that's not why I came back here."

"What's going on Qundy?" Kulli pulled off his headphones and laid down his book.

"Look, Praetor, I don't know how to say this..."

"I'm a married man you know."

Qund did a half smile at the joke. "I know man, I know. I just need to tell someone and I thought you would be able to help me. After our loss to Tolietdonia you know I was the last to leave the stadium."

"You always are," Kulli said with another laugh.

"Well I was met by this woman who said she was a reporter. Well the interview was going fine-"

"Did you get her number?" Sforza Italiana, the 20 year old nephew to the Supreme President, leaned over the aisle to ask the question.

"Forz, this is a private conversation." Qund, annoyed, said.

"I heard the whole thing...go on." Italiana replied.

"Well...Well the interview was going fine until she asked me about Meddicia. I gave her our stock answer but then she...she lashed out at me with a knife! I was able to block it but...but still."

"Attacked? I don't know what to say Henry." Kulli just looked at the seat in front of him.

"By my Great-Grandfather!" Italiana said. The phrase sounded odd but the Eternal Supreme President was Sforza's great-grandfather. "It's no wonder we're trying to put down a rebellion with those damn Royalists."

Qund blanched. He himself was a foreigner by blood but knew that most Tarrentians thought above everyone else. "Well, what should I do Praetor? I mean," he lowered his voice, "the government has already been to see me. I don't know how they knew but they did. Two guys came in and told me that I was being watched."

"Watched by whom?" Kulli asked.

"They never said. All I want to do is play but now I have worry about people out to attack me!" Qund looked desparate.

"I don't know what to tell you Henry. Keep on playing your best, the government should be able to handle these Meddician extremists. I guess we'll have to go to a buddy system to keep everyone safe." Kulli patted Qund's shoulder.

"Unless they try to blow us up..." Italiana answered.

[Osarius]

OSN Special Bulletin

"The Firebirds' World Cup Qualifying campaign has collapsed into ruin following the mysterious disappearance of their popular manager, the Firewood legend Benedict di Corradi. While many are commending the team's dedication in continuing to attempt to complete their fixtures, questions are being raised over whether or not their heads are in the game, and in particular, national team stalwarts have come in for some intense criticisms. The team captain, Jermain Lewis, has been the only team member to speak publicly about his 'second father', in an emotional request to all Osarians to help with the search. The rest of the team has been shielded from any and all interviews by the OFA's media team, as the search continues for the coach many of them profess to see as a father figure. Lord Kenterbury appeared earlier today to give an official statement to the press."




"We here at the OFA are deeply disturbed by the disappearance of our much-loved friend Benedict. We regret that we are unable to bring any new information forth for his wife, Claudia, and their two beautiful children, but we hope to locate him soon. We cannot speculate on his location beyond that we do not believe he is still in Osarius. We have contacted all nations with whom we share links, including Kryosis, but we have had no luck in finding him. I believe that it is only a matter of time before we locate him, though... as we will soon run out of stones to turn in our quest. For the time being, we can but request that the nation gets behind the search effort, and continues its passionate, vociferous support of the national team, as they struggle on through this emotional storm."




"It was noted that Benedict di Corradi had gone missing from the team hotel on the eve of the home match against Coloured Pencils. Since then, many attempts have been made to locate him, but to no avail. The King himself has even released an official statement regarding the disappearance of di Corradi, and Her Highness the Queen has spent a sizeable amount of time with the di Corradi family. Some experts have speculated that the Osarius coach may no longer be alive, while the most popular school of thought seems to be that he fled the country amid all the pressure and criticism of his management of the national team. The latter claim is refuted vehemently by those closest to him - including many of the national team - who have stated that it would be a move completely out of character for di Corradi, who continually professed that Osarians should all have a 'never say die' attitude, and often clashed directly with his detractors. Many questions remain, but answers are still scarce. In the meantime, all we - as a nation - can do, is hope. I'm Danielle Hardison, for OSN."

[Cafundeu]

FOLHA DA CAPITAL
O jornal no lugar certo na hora certa da notícia

Edição de Domingo - Ano 233 - Caderno III - Preço: V$3,50

---

LET'S KEEP TALKING ABOUT COACHES, BUT THIS TIME OF OTHER ONES

We have talked a lot about the trio of coaches that the Monopolists introduced in this World Cup. Even with some negative results, including the last one against Delaclava which ended in a goalless draw, Cafundéu's initial mission is being completed without desperation: the qualification for the World Cup is coming, and once again the country will have a chance to do a good campaign and look after the title, which narrowly escaped fourteen years ago, in that confusing penalty shootout. So, this is not the time to criticize the work of Vélez, Varg and Argentier, who are surely doing a fine job in adjusting their own styles to form a new one that has the participation of all the members of the NT's staff. They are guaranteeing Cafundéu's qualification and, as long as this is achieved and the team reaches the World Cup with enough strength to make a memorable performance, no one can complain. This time we will talk about other coaches, more specifically Cafundelense coaches: the news that Virabia has hired Waldenyr Caldas as their new coach continues the trend that Cafundelenses are being well-seen abroad.

Caldas became one of the most popular and highly rated coaches during his time in Porto Lacruz, when he won the Emperor's Cup once and nearly won the Primeirona, losing the league final to Petardos S/A. His success took him to Cafundéu's richest and biggest team, where he could work with idols like Dacil Taniquentar, Laborious Hawk and Danny Adams to form one of the most successful squads ever on Cafundelense domestic level. Two league titles and one cup proved the abilities of Waldenyr, even though the team didn't do so well internationally. With these two good seasons, he received the chance to coach the Monopolists in the last World Cup. During the qualifiers, he claimed to be the team's saviour, the one who had enough talent to take Cafundéu to the title, but a loss in the Round of 16 forced The Scout to fire him, and damaged Caldas's reputation. He took control of Ranca Toco this season, but now the Carandirú City team loses its coach before the end of the State Championships. The club chairman complained of this situation: "We had our season arranged. Now we are without a coach, and our plans will have to be changed, as a new coach brings a new style. Last season the same thing happened to us: Renário was our coach until Somewhereistonia called him to their National Team, and we had to use an interim coach until the end of the season, as there weren't many options left."

Curiously, Ranca Toco has confirmed the name of Diogo Avarel, who was at A.F.F., to be the team's new coach. Quite contradictory, as Ranca Toco's chairman was just complaining of losing a coach to the Virabia NT, and now he hires one that divides his time between the club and Sarzonia's National Team, where he is an assistant of legendary Franz Braddock, one of the seven Cafundelenses coaching foreign NTs. And Ranca Toco wasn't the only team affected by this trend: last season, Porto Lacruz lost two coaches in a row to National Teams. Anatoliy Titov, Cafundéu's WC49 coach, was leading the team until the offer from Delaclava came. In his place, the chairman hired Júlio Vargas, famous for leading the Monopolists twice in the World Cup. Just after the end of the season, he packed his things to go to the Uiri National Team. And it looks like things will continue this way, with Cafundelense coaches applying to any coaching job that appears abroad, in order to expand their influence. This leads to a curious situation in which Cafundelense clubs do not have many options of coaches, and may soon start to look for them abroad. Or maybe do like Sarzonia and Sorthern Northland did, hiring experienced Cafundelense coaches who were retired from the sport. Names like David Nefasto and Rivaldo Sodré are possibilities, though the second is in a hospital bed since last month, and could end being one of the least active coaches ever if he receives a job, since his health situation is extremely delicate.

[Candelaria And Marquez]

The ungodly creature loomed before her, half man, half… half several other men, in fact, with an assortment of eyes, arms, fingers and sex organs so liberal it warranted its own live-in rent boy. Saliva dripped from vast, broken teeth. Steam rose from its primary head. One of the buttons had come off its dungarees, Sukie noted, because she was an analytical sort of person at the best of times, and because focusing on the monster’s garments was just about preferable to concentrating on her imminent demise at its many and varied hands.

Its name was probably Donald, the ‘Hi! I’m Donald!’ badge pinned to its chest being something a clue, though she conscientiously avoided jumping to conclusions. It might simply have stolen it from its previous victim. Five minutes from now, it would probably be dangling her bus pass from one of its penises. Penes. Peni. Penii.

Sukie felt quite certain, all of a sudden, that no woman should be allowed to be torn limb from limb without first being confident as to the accepted term for more than one penis. It had never really come up before.

“Donald? Donald! Stop menacing the poor woman and come and finish your goat… Donald! Sorry, ma’am, he gets like this when he hasn’t had his nap, DONALD!”

“Grrum-rum? Guuuum?”

“Yes! Juicy goat, just for Donald…”

“Jaaafa… Dun-ud?”

“Just for Donald.”

“JAAAFA DUN-UD!”

Sukie watched the creature waddle off down the corridor and disappear happily behind a suitably large door. The now visible figure of a spectacularly forgettable-looking young man shut it greatfully behind him.

“Donald,” he offered sheepishly, apparently by way of an explanation.

“Yes,” Sukie agreed. “Very much so. Was that an ogre? Pretty sure we don’t have one of those chaps in Gordon Bay City.”

“That’s our best guess at this stage, aye. Although ogre’s a pretty generic term, we think, so… He’s a decent sort, mind. Give him a goat and stick him in front of Big Chef, Little Chef and he’s anyone’s.”

“Have you tried him on In the Night Garden?” Sukie asked brightly, pleased to have happened upon a fellow madperson, “My svartálfs adore that. That and the Sign Zone after midnight.”

“With the lady in the corner with the flappy fingers? Oh, he’s transfixed. He’ll watch Junior DIY SOS on repeat for hours with her on… We’re trying to wean him off the former, mind, after he tried to rape his stuffed tombliboo. It’s Robert, by the way. Rob. Robert. Um.”

“Sukie,” Sukie said, taking the proffered hand. Robert frowned.

“Ah. ‘Svartálfs’, of course. As in ‘Rohaert’?”

“Rohaert.”

“Yes. That’s, um, what I said…?”

“Er… Yes. Yes, I suppose it was,” she agreed solemnly, now mentally trying on wedding dresses. “I was summoned…?”

Robert nodded. “And not before time too, believe me. Er, you might as well follow me, I suppose. Mr Gellett’s expecting you.”

“Aye. Um, I know the way. Been here before. The Ministry used to be a bit of a home away from home, actually.”

“So I’ve been told, yeah… They’ve had a bit of refurb around here since Ms Harris got reshuffled, though, so…”

“Probably best you walk me there, then.”

“Aye.”

“Yup. Um. Are you sure you should really leave…?”

“Donald? Oh, he’ll be alright. He won’t’ve finished his goat yet. And it’s not as though he gets out very often…”

“He did just now.”

“Well there we are, then. He’s hardly going to get out two times in the space of twenty minutes, is he? Law of averages, that.”

“You do know that most of the time any ‘law of averages’ is invokes its complete bollocks, don’t you?”

“Oh, certainly,” Robert said cheerfully. “Donald doesn’t though. Shall us?”

They ambled in companionable silence along the beige corridors of the Ministry of Remedial Teaching, down flights of steps Sukie could navigate with her eyes shut and up, down, and possibly sideways in glossy lifts that certainly hadn’t been there before. Here and there, Robert flashed his pass at a waiting guard; every now and again someone hurried on past or popped their heads furtively out of doors before rapidly withdrawing them. But slowly but surely, the thrum of the deep-down Ministry became more and more evident.

Damien Gellett MP’s office was new, and outstripped that of his recent predecessors in size by several degrees. It also had a less than lived-in look, despite the fact that its principal inhabitant was currently at his desk and giving for all the world a masterful impression of diligently filling some paperwork. Robert made his excuses and left. Sukie waited patiently for the minister to deign to acknowledge her presence.

“Right… Ahh, Miss Roheart,” he offered eventually, looking up at her for the first time.

For once, Sukie let it slide. “I met your ogre,” she told him instead.

“Really? Which one?”

“You have more than one…?”

Gellett appeared to consider this. “Let’s say no, to avoid further conversation.”

“Since when were keeping ogres part of the M.O.R.T.’s remit?”

“Everything is our remit, Miss Roheart. No doubt you know that as well as anyone.”

“Rohaert.”

“Let’s not chitchat, dear. Talk to me about the Svartálfar.”

Sukie shrugged. “What specifically? The fact that they’re bloody terrified by something, and won’t even tell me what it is? Or that they seem to have buggered off along with pretty much everyone else… I put in a call about this weeks ago, Mr Gellett. Some of your forerunners in this job might have bothered to get back to me…”

“Happily, I’ve yet to discover any obvious reason for jumping at your every word. Your intimate connection to these creatures is duly noted, but I’m terribly afraid to say that I have slightly bigger things to worry about than why a small collection of sewer goblins appear to be getting their knickers in a twist about something. Or I did,” Gellett added, sighing, “Until the last couple of days.”

“Why? What’s the matter with them? Are they all alright?”

“Oh you rest easy, Miss Roheart, they’re fine. Unfortunately I can’t say that about the several hundred – or, possibly, several thousand – Candelariasians to have received nighttime visitations from the nasty little buggers over the past sixty-or-so hours. There was an agreement, if you recall. They keep their visits to the barest minimum. It’s your responsibility to control these creatures!”

“I don’t own them! I haven’t even seen one for the best part of a fortnight… Their behaviour’s no doubt connected to whatever they’re concerned about, if we can get to the bottom of that…”

“And how d’you propose we’re going to do that before they bring about the collapse of Candelariasian civilization?”

Sukie scoffed. “You’re being a trifle extreme, aren’t you? Most people wouldn’t be daft enough to tell anyone that they woke up with a goblin on their chest, so I hardly see why it’s such a prob–”

“It’s such a problem if other people see said creatures kneeling on other peoples’ chests. It’s such a problem if they film it.”

“No. Doesn’t happen. If they think they’re being watched they disintegrate, no-one’s ever captured them on camera before.”

Gellett sighed again. “Let’s take a walk shall we, Miss Roheart?”

More corridors, more thrumming, more M.O.R.T., until a large hexagonal room where a few dozen men and women bent low over keyboards, working furiously. Conveniently, from my perspective, the sounds of C&M versus Mount Shavano lilted out across the room from a distant radio. Few looked up as they entered, but Sukie seized the initiative from Gellett all the same.

“Joe?”

“Sukie!” one of the men shouted cheerfully, rolling backwards on his office chair, “Long time no see!”

“…aggioli, and he’ll look for this cross to find Macanás… Oh, but that’s poor from the Mercia Bromham man, and C&M are simply so listless here…”

“And you. Love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Oh you,” the Joe said with mock camp, “You know nothing changes round these parts. Oh… hi gaffer. Wassup?”

“If the pleasantries are over?” the minister asked testily, “Perhaps you’d care to show her the footage, Joe?”

The man grimaced. “I’ll pick one at random, shall I? Here we go… Pull up a pew, Sooks.”

Wobbly though the picture was, it was a svart. And, if she wasn’t mistaken, it was one of her svarts. Kneeling, indeed, on the chest of an attractive young woman while a shouting man – or, technically, a shouting arm – attempting to bat the foul creature away while its companion tried to hold the camera as steady as possible. But the svartálf stayed put, an expression of deep concentration upon its face, for twenty seconds more before finally hopping off and collapsing into maggots.

“…amblett…! And straight at Robert Anderson, who made himself big there, did well, but you expect better from a CMSC1 goalscorer, you really do. Not impressive for his first start, John…”

“Well? ‘Doesn’t happen’?”

“Well it doesn’t… Normally. This is just a one-off though, right?”

“Joe…?”

“Uh, no. Sorry. Gath, how many…?”

“Forty-eight!” another man bedecked in a full Khatib FC kit, socks included, shouted from across the room.

“Forty-eight different versions, Sooks. Some people even filmed the svarts ‘emselves, and those are just the ones uploaded to YouTube.”

“They were taken down though, right?”

“Pretty much instantly, aye. Although even that’s a record, ‘cos these things are supposed to get filtered out, in the Candelarias at least, before they even get up there. Uh, we’re still investigating if there was a security breach, sir, can’t make head nor tail of it… Anyway luv, collectively they managed several hundred views. And comments…”

“…is move to four-four-two, John, y’know… I appreciate Panadero needs to experiment, needs to give some of the fringe players a chance, but… Surely they need to be given a chance in the actual formation he plans on using at the World Cup…”

“Oh, gawd,” Sukie moaned, “What like?”

“Er… Gath, you got any of the comments there, mate?”

“‘Fake’… ‘Totay fake!!!’… ‘wow that’s sum freaky stuff!’… ‘You are the biggest faggott on the planet. Go and jump off the nearest bridge’… ‘Id destroy that pussy’…”

“Alright, we all get the idea, Anthony,” Gellett snapped. “The point is, we have reason to believe this has happened to thousands of people! And the number who’ve seen that kind of thing now could run into the tens of thousands.”

“He is right, Sooks,” Joe sighed. “If this goes viral, well… The banjo-playing hamster? The Effie Ruskin wedding night video? They’ll have nothing on this… And another two or three nights of it and we’ve got a proper old Situation on our hands, and we haven’t really had one of them since poor old Lyndon’s days…”

“Now can you see why we’re concerned?” the minister drawled.

“Perhaps if you’d been concerned when I’d been concerned, we wouldn’t be in this mess! And now the Svartálfar clearly under threat! The more people who know about them…”

“That’s what you’re worried about? Good grief…” Gellett muttered, reaching for a pocket and glancing at his gently vibrating mobile phone. “I’ll have to take this… I’ll be back in a moment…”

“Gellett, wait… Look, who’s Beatrice?”

“What? How should I know? Now just give me a minute, and don’t go anywhere!”

“…tercepted well by Salina, Ethan Robertson will try and get on the end of it… But nothing doing for the young sub, here…”

Sukie waited for him to stalk away. “Anyone…? The svarts kept going on about her, they said she’s coming. And the Bolg did too, come to that…”

Joe shrugged again. “Means nothing to me. Gath?”

“Why do you call him that…?”

“Eh? Oh, that’s just Anthony. The Gathering Dork, we call him. It’s just a… just a pun, he uh… finds out stuff. Um. Good man though, is our Gath. Bit on the ol’ spectrum side, y’know, but he’s been here man and boy. Can hardly blame him… Gath! Famous Beatrices. Might be ‘coming’. In a geographical sense, presumably.”

“Beatrice Turtledove, senior politician from the island principality of Pele. Beatrice, Princess of Dalaborn. Rear Admiral Beatrice Liene, Excalbia. Beatrice Langman, women’s beach volleyball player. M. Beatrice Piertotum, Cookeslandic Ambassador to Uiri. Beatrice Halloran, Qaz–”

“Good, isn’t he? Speed it up there, Gath.”

“Countess Beatrice Ventilla… Beatrice Janx… Beatrice Wake… Beatrice Cain… Beatrice Fisher… Beatrice Peterhead… Beatrice Corvin… Beatrice Kindle… Dame Beatrice Follop… Beatrice Cotillard…”

“Try Candelariasians, Ga… er, Anthony…”

“Beatrice Aabakken, Beatrice Aae, Beatrice Aaltonen, Beatrice Aaronson, Beatrice Abadiotakis, Beatrice Abakumov, Beatrice Abate, Beatrice Abbas, Beatrice Abbatan–”

“Handy man with a laptop, isn’t he?” Sukie whispered to Joe weakly.

“Laptop? Nah, not our Anthony… Can yeh narrow it down at all, mate?”

“…trice Abbey, Beatrice Abbey, Beatrice Abbott, Beatrice Abbott, Beatrice Abbott, Beatrice Abdo-Owusu, Beatrice… Interjection: Possible relevancy: Candelaria And Marquez’s single scientific satellite, ‘Beatrice’, launched 1971, still active.”

“Oh, well there’s that, obviously… Yeah, that’ll be it, Sooks, it’s been taken over by aliens.”

“What!?”

“I joke, I joke… Look, I’m sure they’ve got their reasons, y’know, but the Svartálfar aren’t yer most reliable witnesses. And look, don’t worry about Gellett, he’ll calm down…”

“…aybe give Pond another start, who’s certainly looked lively down the left since coming on… Watson, another nice run, oh but taken out by Vaughan! And that’s got to be a yellow there for the Raynor City man, surely…”

“He’s right though, isn’t he? If this gets out there in the public domain…”

“Then we’ll deal with it. Just like we always do. It’s not an unpleasant distraction if I’m being honest,” Joe yawned.

“From what?”

“We-ell… The fact that we’ve had nearly a month of overcast skies, for one thing? And the wind an’ all, the wind’s been awful…”

“Hasn’t it just? Wind and ogres now, is it? Aren’t you overstretching yourselves?”

“Hey, the wind’s important. Wind, darkness, could be a sign of the Last Days, y’know? Could also be natural climactic variations, like, but we’ve got t’keep a note of these things. Oh, and then there’s everything going down in your neck of the woods. All them species starting to up and leave Gordon Bay…”

“And this is what I keep saying! There’s got t’be a link, surely? I know the Fir Bolg are shapeshifting telepaths, but people’re saying that half the alven have buggered off in the last week, and the aguane have been quieter than anything… And my mate Dave, from the lab, he says his family’s hobgoblin packed his stuff and left the other night without so much as a by-your-leave! Something’s spooking them, even if us and the alans and the corrandonnets and whatnot can’t pick up on it… And they said we haven’t got any time left, or something, and… And I’m so tired,” Sukie added.

“You’re not the only one. I’ve wondered more than once today whether I’ve been visited by any of your little men meself, and just can’t remember it.”

“Well… That just goes to show, doesn’t it?” the woman said helplessly. “Something weird’s going on.”

“…it of a crisis at right-back, with Archer still out injured too… We’re going t’have to actually do some defending here, even against Mount Shavano, which probably says everything…”

“Yeah,” Joe said soberly. “Probably. It often is, I wouldn’t get stressed about it. The End of All that Is hasn’t happened yet, and I’ll be buggered if it’s happening under my watch. JACK, CAN YOU TURN OFF THE BLOODY FOOTBALL, MATE!? They’re obviously not going t’score now… They’re playing like they need a good night’s sleep an’ all, that’s three draws in a row, now. That almost never happens.”

“Shift back to a 4-4-2 obviously didn’t come off, then?” Sukie offered, savouring the one titbit she had picked up from the Johns over the previous few minutes.

“Probably not. Who cares? Sick to death of bloody football…”

“Joe,” the pathologist breathed, genuinely shocked.

“Well I am! So’s everyone else down here, frankly. Apart from Anthony but, bless ‘im, what does he know? Might be enough to still keep the serfs quiet, but us Ministry types’d be pretty damn glad to see the back of it sometimes… TURN IT DOWN, JACK!”

“…ile it stays nil-nil, C&M camped very much in their own half now, and they simply can’t get the ball up to the front two without the Shavanese cutting in…”

“I’ll go and do it, shall I?” Sukie offered, skipping lightly across the room before he had a chance to answer, switching off the radio, and finding herself entirely by accident outside the door labelled D. “Gosh. Fancy me ending up here. Um, don’t suppose, for old time’s sake…?”

Joe waved a hand. “Knock yourself out. It’s your funeral if Gellett pops back and you’re not here, though.”

She nodded, and pushed open the door. Here, the Time Dilation Device span gently on its plinth, thrumming away to itself. An elderly Watcher, who knew her from old, nodded curtly at her and returned to his crossword.

Do you even know? she thought, as she circled the Device. Do any of you? Lyndon knew, obviously, but that was only because his elf told him. And President Morton knows, and Jenny Harris knows, because they saw me with the other one, but… Do you lot actually know these things are alive? That they think. That they can speak. Would you even care? Wouldn’t you keep me here under lock and key if you knew that I was the only one it had ever spoken to? Just little old me…

“Ju-u-u-st l-i-i-i-ttle o-o-o-o-ld yo-o-ou…”

Sukie eyes bulged. She stared at the Device’s flapping lips as it swished past, glancing furtively at the Watchers arrayed the room, none of whom had batted an eyelid.

“The-e-e-e-y ar-r-r-re co-o-o-m-i-i-ng…”

“Who are?” she hissed.

“Yo-o-o-o-ou wo-o-o-o-uld ca-a-a-all the-e-e-em… The Be-e-e-a-a-atr-r-ri-i-ice…”

“I know! God, I wish people would stop telling me that!”

“Miss? You alright?”

“Fine! Sorry, jus’… daydreaming. Haven’t had much sleep, y’know? Sick with worry about my goblins, you know how it is…” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Who’re the damned Beatrice!?”

“Yo-o-o-ou wo-o-o-o-on’t ha-a-a-ave a-any ti-i-i-ime… The-e-r-r-re wi-i-i-ll b-e-e-e…”

The Device paused ominously.

“Ye-es…?”

“A Ha-a-a-atchi-i-i-ing…”

[Queer Poco el Mono Ara]

The White’s prove their mettle by battling it out with Eastfield Lodge and taking another three points.

Goals for Wayne Ullrich and a second in as many games for Hugo Anderson was enough to pick up the win.

Eastfield Lodge came to Queer Poco el Mono Ara looking for their first win over the Whites in four encounters but were sent home disappointed after a strong performance. The visitors started out strongest with Shabeen Ahmad coming close after only 2 minutes with a clever run round the back to meet a cross from Maddison, the header came back across the goal and nearly reached the far post were it not for the desperate lunge by Valengren keeper Chris Foster.

Foster made another save as the visitors kept up the pressure and a low long range drive from James Scott to find his second international goal was palmed around the post. Quite how the midfielder found space to unleash the shot with 3 defenders around him is remarkable.

Highlight of the half came for Salaga fans as young midfielder Thomas O’Henly warmed up on the touch line. The player didn’t come on as a substitute but seeing the 21 year old warming up on the sidelines was great for those who recognized him.

In the second half it was much of the same with the visitors coming closest, again top scorer Ahmad III found space in the box to test Foster. This time the ball was to feet and he sidestepped Rudolpho before firing at the near post. Once more Foster’s reflexes got the better of the Eastfield Lodge striker.

15 minutes before full time Wayne Ullrich opened the scoring with a desperately lashed long range effort. As the attacker attempted to dance his way through the box he was tackled. The ball broke loose and he took a swing at it, connecting on the volley and beating the keeper in the top corner.

Shortly after Hugo Anderson’s dazzling solo run from the right wing enabled him to burst into the EL box before side-footing under the keeper to score a memorable goal.

[Tyrrin]

TYRRIN NATIONAL NEWS
ODINEX SWEPT, COMMANDER'S LEAGUE CONCLUDES
Benny Tjerd

Tyrrin defeated Odinex a second time yesterday, this time by a score of 2-1. Michael Willem scored once, and then was rested. Zia Thorvald then came in the game and also scored. Odinex tried to equalize with a goal from Fabio Nando, but it was too little, too late as Tyrrin won with an impressive defensive stand late in the game to defeat Odinex on their home ground. The victory give Tyrrin a bit more breathing room in second in Group Ten, as both the Kazoo Peoples and Yafor 2 lost.

The Commander's League recently came to a close, with Tyrrin Royale emerging victorious for the second straight season. They were helped by Burchadinger Markus Klogh, who had 17 goals on the season, and Matt Chauvin, the Babbage Islander who anchored the best defense in the league. Another standout player this season was Chase Koit of Racaw Sultan, who won the Golden Boot with 19 goals. Giuseppe Joliano of Unitopolis also helped Racaw take third place in the league this season. Deandre Rodrigo had another splendid, though ultimately disappointing, season with Mertag FC, as they finished second yet again. Lorenz Raimondo played excellently in his return to Foroch Raiders, helping the team to win the Commander's Cup.

As I am busy writing up a comprehensive match report for the past season, I don't have much time for the World Cup right now. However, we will be playing Sibirsky next at home. See you there.

Email Benny Tjerd at btjerd@tnn.tyr

[Valanora]

Faeron was sitting on the crisp, green grass in one of Raynor City's many elegant parks, his eyes closed and his ears tuned into the sounds of the world around. He heard the chirping of crickets, the calls of birds to their mates, the sound of children playing, and the slight hum of the city. Even with their harmony of nature, Raynor City still had that hum and business about it like many of the human cities, Faeron believing it to be a cause of the city being the capital of Valanora as well as many of the nations Committees and Councils. With embassies, the Senate, an airport, and the VFA and VSC headquarters, there was plenty in the city for the hum of a metropolitan city to be breed from.

It seemed quieter now however, the frequency lessened, and the duration of that hum ending hours earlier in the day than before. He had been born and raised in Soldar, the suburb named for his family, like Soldarian FC. He was the eldest child of the Soldar family and thus was bestowed with the title of Soldarian while the rest of his family remained Soldar. He had grown up here, came to accept the hum of the city as just a natural thing for a place like Raynor City and her suburbs. Now things were different with the city, just like with the people, and he was wondering what to do about it. He was certain that all of the changes he was finding with the people and Valanora were due to the exodus of the elves to the Havens and then their return. How would he prove it was what was bothering him, what was causing his mediation here in the park.

His thoughts moved to the clergy and how their ranks were quite thinned in the return to the Earthly realm. Nearly all of the clergy, including the High Priestess, had chosen ascension over return or paradise, and those that returned were now faced with an overwhelming amount of followers without enough clergy to lead them. Without a High Priestess to guide them, to be their channel to Elune, Faeron feared that they would not find the solutions they sought to their problems.

Were the clergy soo different from he and his teammates? Each of them commanded the attention of the entire nation, brought them together in a united cause. For he and his fellow footballers, they entertained the nation, gave them pride in the nation when there might not be that pride, especially for the non-elves. That was the job of the sportsman, to unify a people, to entertain them, and to give them an idea to have pride in that could be shared. The clergy also did that but through faith. Could he have the answers for the clergy?

[Andrewboy]

Drewchester Roast
Andrewboy earn tie in 12 goal thriller

Summary
In matchday 11 of World Cup 51 qualifying, Andrewboy were away to Tretskivucia. Andrewboy came in 1 point behind Schiavonia, although Tretskivucia have been on absolute fire so far, Andrewboy were hoping for at least a point.

Match

Code: Select all

Tretskivucia:6              Andrewboy: 6
11th                            Johnson 7th
30th                            Flash 18th
42end                         Borman 45+1th         
55th                          Johnson 62end
70th                          Walsh  75th
81st                          Flash 85th


Andrewboy fought for a hard earned draw in this match. Andrewboy hit first with Johnson breaking, knocking it behind a defender and beating him, the smashing it past the keeper from 16 yards. Tretskivucia hit back just 4 minutes later with a well time volley. In the 18th Johnson flew past sever al defenders with ease then played the ball across the box to Flash who had no trouble putting it into an open net. There were no more goals until the 30th when Tretskivucia scored from a corner. 12 minutes later Tretskivucia scored again from a cross being headed in. Just before the half Veil hit a long ball forward where Johnson headed it towards the left bottom post, it was saved but Borman was right there for a rebound, just staying onside. In the second half Tretskivucia pulled ahead again from a 55th minutes penalty. In the 62end Johnson slammed home a 26th free kick into the top corner to bring it to 4-4. In the 70th Tretskivucia pulled into the lead once again by slapping in the blocked shot. 5 minutes later it was Walsh who got his name on the sheet by controlling a ball on the left, cutting into the edge of the box and slamming a shot low into the left bottom corner. Tretskivucia pulled into the lead for the final time 6 minutes later with them sprinting on the counter and putting in an open netter after several good passes. With 5 minutes of regular time left, Andrewboy grabbed a tie with Johnson playing it to Borman who crossed it over to Walsh who played it in front of goal and Flash side-footed a low shot past the keeper to earn Andrewboy a single point.

Table and results
Group 6
Valanora 6–3 Negative Katana
Undeadzombiee 2–3 Lithatrius
Tretskivucia 6–6 Andrewboy
Vjiay 0–2 Schiavonia
Iglesian Archipelago 2–1 Taeshan

⁠   Group 6                    P    W   D   L   GF   GA   GD  Pts 
 1 Valanora                  11    9   1   1   33   13  +20   28
 2 Schiavonia                11    6   4   1   32   24   +8   22
 3 Andrewboy                 11    5   4   2   37   30   +7   19
 4 Tretskivucia              11    5   4   2   28   24   +4   19
 5 Iglesian Archipelago      11    4   3   4   28   27   +1   15
 6 Taeshan                   11    4   2   5   21   21    0   14
 7 Vjiay                     11    3   1   7   14   23   −9   10
 8 Lithatrius                11    3   1   7   17   29  −12   10
 9 Negative Katana           11    2   2   7   19   29  −10    8
10 Undeadzombiee             11    1   4   6   20   29   −9    7

Next match
In matchday 12 Andrewboy have a home fixture with Undeadzombiee. In the reverse fixture Andrewboy won 4-2, and will be hoping for a repeat and a good 3 points. Schiavonia will be playing host to Tretskivucia.

[Inabi]

Topic: Derp, back to ties, and not giving up.

---

Derp, well, the qualifying games have now turned over for another cycle of playing against the same teams. And guess what! We're starting to tie again! Whoop dee fiddly doo. Against Achtervolging, the first team we played and one of the few teams we actually won against, we tied them at 2-2. It was a thriller of a match, with back and forth goals. Achtervolging came back in the last ten minutes to tie the game at 2-2, adding yet another disappointment to the list.

For the most recent game, against Antarctistan, we were able to get the exact same score. A 0-0 tie. Now, whether or not that's a good thing is debatable. Sure, we want a win, but getting a tie isn't that bad either, right? I mean, we're one of the lowest ranked teams in Group 5. I know it seems like I've been saying that a lot, but it's true. This qualifying, our team has absolutely sucked. It was a true disgrace to see them play. But it's the thought that counts, right? At least we tried. That's all that matters... Well, not really. But you know, we'll get a consolation prize. Or something.

Personally, I'd like a nice giftbasket. Fruits, knickknacks, and all the assortment of scented candles.

But that's besides the point! We're facing Peisandros next. I reiterate, they are one of the highest ranked teams in our group, and they have preformed admirably during these qualifying games. Currently, they are ranked number one in our group. Last time, we were able to hold them scoreless. Either by our defensive skills... pfft, yeah right. Anyways, either by our defensive skills or by some outside force that we cannot comprehend. If we can do that again, well, that'd be great. Don't look for a victory here folks.

Aim lower. Winning the World Cup? Lower. Qualifying for the World Cup? Lower. Making fifth place in our group? There you go!

WORLD CUP 51 QUALIFICATIONS
MD1: vs Achtervolging [1-0 INABI] (@ New Jakar Corporation Football Stadium, Jakar - 69,851)
MD2: at Antarctistan [0-0 TIE]
MD3: vs Peisandros [0-0 TIE] (@ Green Crustacean Arena, Orai - 42,655)
MD4: vs Akbarabad [2-6 AKBARABAD] (@ Predator Stadium, Koa - 80,198)
MD5: at Colbourne [1-0 COLBOURNE]
MD6: vs Western cuba [2-2 TIE] (@ Lord Protector I Stadium, Nara - 32,142)
MD7: at Uiri [1-1 TIE]
MD8: vs The St Timothy Isles [1-0 INABI] (@ Predator Stadium, Koa - 80,198)
MD9: at Whirl Islands [3-1 WHIRL ISLANDS]
MD10: at Achtervolging [2-2 TIE]
MD11: vs Antarctistan [0-0 TIE] (@ Lord Protector I Stadium, Nara - 32,142)
MD12: at Peisandros
MD13: at Akbarabad
MD14: vs Colbourne (@ Green Crustacean Arena, Orai - 42,655)
MD15: at Western cuba
MD16: vs Uiri (@ New Jakar Corporation Football Stadium, Jakar - 69,851)
MD17: at The St Timothy Isles
MD18: vs Whirl Islands (@ New Jakar Corporation Football Stadium, Jakar - 69,851)

[Schiavonia]

"Welcome back to World Cup Sloths on SIBN, with Laurie and Al. A long overdue win for Schiavonia today, overcoming Vjiay by two goals to nil. What did you think of that, Al?"

"Well, we won! Woop!!!"

"Clearly Al's very happy. Now hopefully Schiavonia can turn the corner and push on to earn their place at World Cup 51."

"It's the surprise team Tretskivucia next, who despite being a complete unknown until recently."

"It's astonishing so far. They are just three points off the wonderkids, ahead of the likes of Taeshan and an Undeadzombiee team that we expectd more from after impressing in the Introduction of Fire."

All of a sudden, Chris' radio went slightly off. Laurie's voice could just be made out.

"...get home... ...Chris..."

Did he just hear that right? It... sounded as if... as if it was talking to him...

"Chris." Another voice came out of the radio. One he was not familiar with. "Chris. You an hear this, can't you?"

Chris was freaked out.

"Look, we're doing all we can. But we need to get you home."

"What, who are you?"

"We're doing all we can to get you back. You need to fight the battle, succeed and come back. You know what to do."

And he did. He had to get Schiavonia to the World Cup. And do it his way.

[Sorthern Northland]

Beningrad Morning Star

SNFA lager give away condemned

Following the donation from the Jeruselemite army of several hundred sample barrels of 'Jeru FC beer' the Sorthern Northland Football Association (SNFA) has announced that it plans to give away a free pint of the lager to any fan who turns up at a future World Cup qualifying match, most likely the matchday 14 clash against Bears Armed.

Whilst lagers aren't particularly popular in Sorthern Northland the initiative has largely gone down well. There has however been a small amount of discontent over the SNFA's actions. Éamonn Ó Conaill, the leader of the Sorthern Prohibition Party and the party's prospective parliamentary candidate for the Beningrad Oblastmouth constituency has lead the dissent against the SNFA's decision.

Ó Conaill, who has advocated prohibition ever since having a particularly bad night out during his university days, claimed the give away is “nothing short of a scourge upon our nation”.

He went on to add “For two long people have looked at Sorthern Northland and thought that we are nothing but a nation of alcoholics, something proved by Jeruselem trying to use us to sample their new beer.”

“The SNFA however by deciding to give this beer away at a football match is doing nothing but reinforcing this stereotype.”

“The only way to rid ourselves of it is for the Sorthern people to rise up and reject this crude offering. And further to that we must restrain from the bottle completely, only once we have full prohibition in place can we as a nation move forward.”

The Sorthern Prohibition Party enjoys only very minor support, whilst no one from the SNFA was sober enough to comment on the issue.

[Cosumar]

COSUMAR WC 51 UPDATE
Winless drought continues; draws with Aguazul 3-3
By Darrius Olask of OECoC.cos

Last time around, Cosumar traveled to Aguazul's Estadio NioRadio and played a very defensive game drawing 1-1. This time, in Cosuamr's Fire River Arena, the fans were more entertained as six goals were scored in this exciting game.

Although the fans left the Fire River Arena, satisfied with the scoring frenzy, the Cosumaran team was disappointed. They really needed a win here to begin their tre back to the top of Group 3. Usually Cosumar's performance is very defensive-scoring very few goals and allowing very few goals (usually). The game against Aguazul was very different, Cosumar's strikers and fire but the defenders lagged behind.

Aguazul's goals came in the 28th, 44th, and 90th minutes by Gunsedal Cisneros, Chago Villalobos, and Juan Estaban Oraglio.

Cosumar's goals came in the 17th, 56th, and 83rd minutes by FW kevin Park, ST Rikki Varshney, and MF Brian Emerson.

Emerson's late goal handed Cosumar a 3-2 lead. Surely, the Dragons could hold off an exhausted Aguazul team for 6 minutes with their season at stake? No. Despite their efforts, defenders Thomas Hair and Srikar Donopati could not stop Aguazul's reserve striker Juan Estaban Oraglio from scoring in the final minute with an incredibly lucky shot.

When the clock dipped under the one minute mark, the Cosumaran players began relxing and grinning, the win was secure. But reserve striker Oraglio was determined. He charged down the field evading defenders left and right. When he came near the goal, he froze unsure of what to do. Launch a shot? pass to Cisneros? Cisneros was closer to the goal but the goalie was guarding Cisneros' side better.

Oraglio made his mind and slammed the ball towards the goal. He gasped as he shanked the kick and saw the ball spiralling wide right of the goal. Then a stroke of luck for Aguazul. The goalie ran towards the spot where the ball would've landed but then the ball hit the back of Cisneros' head (he looking the other way and didn't see the kick) and deflected into the goal.

Cisneros received a minor concussion and collapsed to the ground as the ball flew in the goal and the buzzer rang. (he will be back for tomorrow's game). 3-3 draw.

COSUMAR-3
scorers: Park, Varshney, Emerson
AGUAZUL-3
scorers: Cisnero, Villalobos, Oraglio

So far

1 ) vs. Krytenia, DRAW 0-0
2 ) vs. Aguazul, DRAW 1-1
3 ) vs. Ursine Northlands, VICTORY 4-3
4 ) vs. Mice of Miceland, LOSS 3-0
5 ) vs. Upper North Yorkshire, VICTORY 3-2
6 ) vs. Silver Beach, LOSS 3-1
7 ) vs. Starblaydia, LOSS 3-1
8 ) vs. Zarbli, DRAW 1-1
9 ) vs. Mantwenic, LOSS 1-0
10 ) vs. Krytenia, LOSS 2-1
11 ) vs. Aguazul, DRAW 3-3

Next 3:

12 ) vs. Ursine Northlands
13 ) vs. Mice of Miceland
14 ) vs. Upper North Yorkshire

[Delaclava]

DNBSports.com

World Cup 51: Our draw revisited
We can still qualify

Before qualifying started, we made some World Cup qualifying predictions. For the second year in a row, we said that we could qualify. We analyzed all the teams in our group and called the other groups. Let's see how we're doing on that.

(264) Lovable Weirdos
THEN: They're young, they're enthusiastic, they look good...unfortunately, they're just inexperienced. Definitely look at them as better than their rank though. Expect anywhere from the middle to the bottom of the pack, but certainly not last.
NOW: What the...what? That's right, one of the worst-ranked teams in the world is in prime position to qualify for the World Cup on their first try. They've played very well so far. We doubt they can keep that going for the second stage though.

(—) Ancient Astronauts
THEN: Uh, who? Their first international game will be in qualifying. This cannot fare well. Unless someone gets nuked - CTE'd, as Nathicanists, Reppyists, and Kryozerkianists would call it - this is the cellar dweller.
NOW: Well, they've been pretty much ineffectual, but really not a bad showing. They should be able to finish strong.

(121) Pokemonman
THEN: Their rank is seriously throwing you off here. Seriously overrated, if that's possible for such a team. The Pokemonman-Ancient Astronauts matches will look like 5-year-olds playing soccer.
NOW: Pretty much right on the money. That fixture looked pretty bad, AA's goal being pretty lucky. All things considered, though, it could be worse.

(50) Delaclava
THEN: Well, we're pretty good. We're the third seed. We've got high-quality players. We've got a Cafundelese coach. We've got what it takes. We should be able to do it in the tournament. Sometimes, though, we just can't.
NOW: Got it pretty much exactly right. Shown ourselves to be very good, haven't always done what we needed. But Titov's ironed out all the wrinkles in this team, and we should look pretty good.

(99) Euroslavia
THEN: Well, top 100 is better than nothing. Kudos for finishing seventh last time around in a very tough group, and they've handled the international scene well. They're the fifth seed, but except them to get fourth or even third. More on this later.
NOW: Well, they've basically done what's expected. Not what we expected, but what would be predicted by many based on their rank. You obviously want to exceed expectations, but hey, count your blessings.

(27) Milchama
THEN: Well, they're supposed to be good. Aren't they? And they are good. But they can get unlucky. They can - and did - get to the round of 16 in one cup and not qualify the next. They did win the Cup of Harmony, and they're obviously a high-caliber team though. Margaret might still be feeling vengeful towards them, though.
NOW: We thought they'd just get unlucky. But they've just looked weak this whole qualifying, even in victory. They could get a last-second push, but is it likely? Probably not.

(209) Voltronica
THEN: We've played them five times and Filbertiana played them once. Filbertiana drew with them and we crushed them all five times. You tell me how this is going to go down.
NOW: Well, we lost 2-1 the first time and beat them 1-0 the second time. Besides that shocker, they've had a weak offense, and just haven't really pushed anyone since they beat us.

(13) Cafundéu
THEN: They're just scary. Some crapload of consecutive qualifications. There's no way that changes. They supply coaches for so many nations it's not funny. They win the group, no question. Just no question.
NOW: No need to repeat ourselves.

(201) Tonarius
THEN: It's going to be so adorable to watch them play! Tripping over their feet, stubbing their toes on their ball, running into each other...aww!!!
NOW: We've got some great home videos...and they somehow have a win and five draws. Still harmless and in the cellar, though.

(55) Jesselton
THEN: This is the second way - Milchama being the first - that Euroslavia moves up. They've got talented players, but not a strong team. They could flop, really badly. You'll see.
Typical strong push at the beginning. They've got the potential to burn out faster in the second half than Jeff Connolly in the NSSCRA.

So what's going to happen in the other groups? We'll tell you - again.

Group 1: Sorthern Northland, Bears Armed
Group 2: Candelaria and Marquez, West Zirconia
Group 3: Starblaydia, Krytenia, Aguazul
Group 4: Secristan, The Weegies
Group 5: Akbarabad,Peisandros, Akbarabad
Group 6: Valanora, Schiavonia
Group 7: The Archregimancy, Landau Institute
Group 8: Jeru FC, Newmanistan Queer Poco el Mono Ara
Group 9: Kelssek, Bostopia Sargossa
Group 10: Cassadaigua, Yafor 2 Tyrrin
Group 11: Sarzonia, Pasarga
Group 12: The Babbage Islands, Jeruselem
Group 13: The Holy Empire, Somewhereistonia Vephrall
Group 14: Ad'ihan, The Han Empire, Ad'ihan
Group 15: Cafundeu, Delaclava

And our lovely hosts, Capitalizt SLANI and Septentrionia!

So there's our corrections. We'll see how they hold up!