World Cup 51 roleplay thread

by **Undeadzombiee** » Fri May 28, 2010 5:03 pm

“Get up!”

Erich woke to sound of a harsh voice, and was yanked up. He managed to look at his surroundings. A small, bare room, with nothing but a chair.

“Quit lookin’ around. We’re gonna see if you are the real Erich Kalen!”

Erich then saw the man. He was a huge brute, who could definitely rip apart phone books. Erich was quite intimidated by him, but managed to squeak out, “How?”

“Well, we got some guy from your stupid, what was it, rugby? No, football, my bad. But he is some guy who was captured, and the bosses think he would recognize you. So anyways, we’re gonna see if he knows you. If he does, well, were gonna let ypu join us, but if not, we’re gonna put you in prison!”

“Yes, I want to join and fight for my captors because I wasn’t just like, thrown into a wall, and knocked out,” Erich said dryly.

“You better watch your mouth, punk, or you won’t have one! Follow me, and don’t say a word.”

The two men walked down a sterile corridor, and a few armed men ran past, other than that, there was no activity.

Then, they turned a corner, and Erich gasped, in shock, and dismay. In dog cages people were stuffed, and some even had to go two to a cage. They all wore the uniform of the army, and they had obviously been starved. Whenever anyone walked past, they begged to let free.

The big man leaned over and whispered, “You say one word, and I will shoot you on the spot. You got that?”

Erich nodded, afraid to speak. They walked for about one hundred yards, and then Erich saw Russ. He barely recognized him. He was sickeningly thin, and pale too. He was so weak he didn’t even ask to be let free.

The man took out a key, and opened the cage. He then spoke to Russ, saying, “We’ve got a few questions for you. Just answer them, and we will let you free. Actually only one.”

“Uhhhh…” Russ groaned. He just wanted this dream to be over, and just to sleep.

“Do you know this man?”

Erich silently prayed that Russ would recognize him. Not that he wanted anything to do with the rebels now, but this would bring him closer to freedom.

“Who…”

“THE MAN STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU, YOU IDIOT!!!”

Perhaps, if he could think clearly, Russ would have recognized him. Maybe not. But all he said was, “N, noooo….. Why?”

And with that, Erich was doomed. He and Russ were locked in separate cages, Erich wondering if he would be free ever.

As people walked by the next day, he didn’t bother begging. It wouldn’t do him any good, and he needed his strength.

But days turned to a week, and every day, if he was lucky, he got a cup of water. Russ was clinging to life, and looked like he would slip into a coma soon. Even Erich, known for his stubborn mind, was fading.

Now who would save them?

by **Delaclava** » Fri May 28, 2010 6:07 pm

DNBSports.com

Boxscore: Delaclava 2-0 Euroslavia
__________________
Euroslavia 0 0 - 0
Delaclava 1 1 - 2

SCORING
1st Half - Geraldo Ayala (Simon De Braden, Alessandro Campeon Berrera) 37th.
2nd Half - Ruben Hester (Simon De Braden, Stanley Ichtyelkov) 69th.

BOOKINGS
Euroslavia - yellow, ST #9, dissent, 80th. Delaclava - yellow, Jamal Pacheco, reckless tackle, 13th; yellow, Ruben Hester, reckless tackle, 52nd.

LINEUPS
Euroslavia - Not released at press time.
Delaclava - Graham Torres; Sheldon Berrera, Calvin Pope, Jamal Pacheco; Stanley Ichtyelkov, Mose Fuentes, Ruben Hester, Alessandro Campeon Berrera; Calvin Castillo (Darcy Mulrooney 2nd), Geraldo Ayala, Simon De Braden.

OTHER STATS
Injuries: Euroslavia - None. Delaclava - Calvin Castillo, ankle.
Shots: Euroslavia - 5-6-11. Delaclava - 10-10--20. On goal: Euroslavia - 3-4--7. Delaclava - 2-2--4.
Saves: Euroslavia - GK #1, 1-1--2. Delaclava - Graham Torres, 3-4--7.
Corner kicks: Euroslavia - 2-3--5. Delaclava - 4-3--7.

Last.fm · by **Cosumar** » Fri May 28, 2010 7:06 pm

COSUMAR WC 51 UPDATE
Cosumar in a slump? Dragons need to pull it together!
By Louis Lark of Cosumar Mortpont Sports News

Let's face it. The Azure Dragons are slumping. there last win was in matchday 5 against Upper North Yorkshire, and since then they've been hammered by Starblaydia and Silver Beach and were held to a draw by the lowly (no offense) Zarbli team-the only winless team in the group. Their current record stands at 2-3-3. Luckily, Group 3 is a tight one: two wins a row could potentially put Cosumar in second. However, the future looks grim. Their next three opponents are all near the top of the group and to 75 teams. However, after watching Cosuamr this year I have learned that anything is possible-they can play impossibly good, or impossibly bad as they have done the last three days.

Last night, Cosumaran all-star Rikki Varshney sprinted across the field, struggling to score against a tough Zarblese defense. They were doubling him adn he just couldn't get anything going. His frustration flowed to the other Strikers resulting in a low production offense-only 4 shots were kicked on goal all game. In the 32nd minute Zarblese striker Livia Karazaua pummeled a ball into the goal with an assist from Napoleon Bonaparte. Cosumar's FW Kevin Park scored the equalizing goal late in the second half-the 84th minute. The buzzer in the stadium wrung 6 minutes later, marking a 1-1 draw between Cosumar and Zarbli.

Vasrhney angrily exited the stadium muttering to himself about missed opportunities in the game. Little did he know that in the past week he had just barely evaded death's grip not once, but twice.

First there was the bomb. After being called to the police station and being informed of his parents and brother's murder, a bomb was placed in Varshney's car. Fortunately, the bomb malfunctioned and the car exploded before he got in. The source of the explosion was not found by the car repair shop.

Then there was the attempted poisoning of his drink at a restaraunt. Vasrhney was enjoying a pleasant meal at McRonald's (Cosumar's largets restaraunt chain). He ordered a salad and a drink which had an awkward odor that Varshney did not remember the drinking having last time. He shrugged and ate his sald. After eating his salad, he held the drink to his lips and almost took aip-but then he got a text message from Cosumar's manager (Dunsk) and hurried out of the store.

No one in Cosumar knows that this is happening or why. Except for one person...that was desperate to see Cosumar lose...and this crazed person felt getting rid of all star varshney was the best way to do it. TO be Continued...

so far...

Next 3

COSUMAR-1
scorer: Kevin Park
ZARBLI-1
scorer: Livia Karazaua

by **Septentrionia** » Fri May 28, 2010 8:17 pm

Sorry for the lateness (RL got in the way), but here are your Matchday 9 scores

by **Landau Institute** » Fri May 28, 2010 8:55 pm

Landau Institute of Protection and Teaching
Department of Other Stuff
Secretary of Cards & Board Games

THE NATIONSTATES WORLD CUP TAROT
#6- Dazza Dallas

Ah, now we get to someone who was still playing when our doctors started playing in the World Cup, still representing the entire Estresse Intenso country. Another legendary player in the history of football of NationStates. Never able to win the title, losing one final against the powerful Ariddia, but receiving a lot of media exposure during her entire career... more for things happening outside the pitch than because of her footballing abilities, which were good ones. Her death a few years ago caused some sadness among the sporting world, and now we remember her by taking a look at the NSWC tarot card that has her name, "#6- Dazza Dallas". As expected, the most important point in this card, its main meaning, is not related with the playing abilities of Dallas or the footballing history and success of Jeruselem... the focus goes to all the confusions for which she was the protagonist. Some of our friends here at the studies laboratory have even made jokes that this card would be more suitable for a strip poker game, or in one of those very popular decks in which the symbols on the cards are replaced by beautiful women completely naked... well, these are popular here, you know. An erotic meaning in the overall interpretation will always be present when this card appears, with sex forcing its way inside the speech of the reader. Surely this can lead to many ways, as sex is a very ample theme. The other basic characteristic of this card is the necessity of attention. In some decks, this card seems even to be painted with fluorescent colour, just to show you that even in a tarot card Dazza Dallas wants to appear and make an impact. Basically, practically all the interpretations will be affected by one of these two basic ideas involving the card, or both of them.

Let's move on to the design of this card. The traditional one shows a representation of Dazza Dallas on a round bed, completely naked but covering her genitalia with a huge flower... really huge, I tell you. Of course, in order to escape censure in several countries, the newest designs show her wearing some casual clothes or even the uniform of Jeruselem. But she is still portrayed on the bed. And, of course, the image of Dazza Dallas in the card reminds her when she was still a football player, close to her thirties.

Family - "#6- Dazza Dallas" has a deep relation with the family area, since the Dallas family grew up to become one of the most important in the NSWC community. The most usual interpretation of the card in this area is of the impressive expanding of a family, with more and more people joining through marriages and the birth of children, especially the latter. For those who like huge families and to have enough sons and daughters to make a full World Cup roster, this is great news, as a big family with many kids is one of the things predicted thanks to the appearance of this card. The other meaning is the complete loss of family privacy, which is horrible for some. The family will be exposed in some way that few of their acts will go unnoticed.

Finances - no, here we won't comment anything about sex workers, for those who may have thought such a thing. This is not what this card means. Dazza Dallas was related with the royalty in Jeruselem, and that's the relation done in the area of finances. The common interpretation is that the product of the company the person works for may start to be seen as a luxury. If this is a good or bad thing, use your marketing skills to figure that out, it all depends on the product and the company's intentions, after all. It can also mean that the professional or brand will receive far more attention from the media in the near future. About other possible interpretations... alright, you got me, there are some readers that suggest investment in business with relation with sex as a way to win some money if this card appears during a prediction, and this usually seems to be a sensible advice.

Love - danger, danger! "#6- Dazza Dallas", when appearing while discussing a romantic relationship, may be the sign that its doom is near. The usual meaning of this card in such a situation involves a third person, who will seduce one of the two lovers, and will probably lead him to cheating. Usually the case refers to the partner of the person who is involved in the reading, being then a warning that this person must now take care and worry about the future of his or her relationship, as this third person can be very close. The other possible meaning involves satisfaction in the sexual routine of the couple, which can be a positive view or negative, depending on the intuition of the reader.

Football - ah, so we can finally discuss about football here, see some prediction done by the cards which is actually directly related to what happens on the field of the NationStates World Cup... well, not really. This card has more involvement with the backstage of the football matches and competitions. It often means that an important player of the team the person supports is going to get involved in a scandal, receiving tons of attention from the media and having his performance affected by all the pressure. Or that one player or group of players may start having some disciplinary problems, by going to parties late in the night and getting involved with many women and men.

Completely Unrelated Stuff - well, that would be an interesting part of the analysis of "#6- Dazza Dallas", and you surely must have an idea about why. Out of any of the major areas of prediction, drawing the card of the Jeruselem star and controversial person motivates the person to do some things. As children are reading our studies' reports, we cannot get into details about those things, but you get what I mean... what a dirty mind you have.

by **Zarbli** » Fri May 28, 2010 8:58 pm

Zarbli Wins First Match Under Southern Sun
Zarbli 3–2 Silver Beach

In the heat of New Cairo, the Marakanan stadium saw Zarbli finally win its first match in the World Cup qualification. It was a 3-2 victory against Silver Beach, who apparently didn't handled well the 40ºC temperature in the Piramidi capital.

In the first half, the game was more balanced, with Zarbli scoring first with Migelito Treta, in a beautiful free kick after a foul suffered by Jenjis Kan, and Silver Beach tying with Albert Morgan, who received a long distance pass by Sean Johnson.

When the teams came back for the second half, the heat apparently cought Silver Beach's players, who were visually tired. Duke Uelinton scored the second Zarblese goal with his head after a corner kick by Jenjis Kan, and Livia Karazaua, who scored in her fourth match in a row, amplified the score after exchanging passes with Jenio Aladin and Kan. In the end of the match, Jacob Jenkins scored the second and last tent for Silver Beach, setting the score 3-2.

Congratulations are in order? We think not. Zarbli still showed weakness in the defensive side, and had to count on New Cairo's burning sun and dry climate as weapons, which won't be available for ever (not even in the next match, for that matter). It's nonetheless a relief after the horrible happenings in Colosseum City after the defeat agains the Mice of Miceland.

And for the record, we're still last in the group with only 6 points (3 less than Cosumar) and a ridiculous 1-3-5 record.

Zarbli was: Zarbli was: Mumia; Treta, Uindsor, Uelinton and Kan (then Tudor); Ualase (c), Bonaparte [Y] and Aladin (then Disisparta); Karazaua, Otehiveu [Y] (then Duna) and Alieno.
Goals by: Treta (17'), Uelinton (51') and Karazaua (62')

****

Colosseum City National Hospital, Colosseum City, KS, Zarbli

"Hnnn..."

"Honey?"

"Julia... I'm so glad you're here, baby."

"I'm always here, silly. And I have good news."

"I'll be off this hospital?"

"Better."

"Better?"

"We won. We won against Silver Beach."

From his hospital bed, manager Paulo Gomen smiled. He would be able to keep his job, after all. At least until the end of this qualifying.

by **Tyrrin** » Fri May 28, 2010 10:18 pm

TYRRIN NATIONAL NEWS
STALLIONS UPSET DAGANS
Benny Tjerd

The atmosphere at Remembrance Park last night for our match vs. Cassadaigua was unbelievable. Remembrance Park was teeming with red and white, and the stadium was so loud that I couldn't hear my grandma when she called to tell me that she was going to be getting back late from her bingo game. She does talk pretty quietly, but still, you get the picture. The noted Dagan midfielder and blogger, Shannon Myers, posted that "These ol’ fillies and mares have a little something for the stallions" on her blog, inciting a bit of defiance in our squad, as well as our fans, who had some less than polite chants ready for the match. That being said, the fans (meaning I) still had some doubts as to whether our team could pull out a win against a defending champion.

Right from the start, Montcalve had the team come out with their usual slow pace. Cassadaigua had solid possession for the first ten minutes, but our defense was excellent, forming an impenetrable wall around the goal. Only Hannah Barton managed to crack the defense, but her shot soared over the crossbar. After a while, this pressure gave way to a midfield battle, with both teams trying to probe the other's defenses. Possession slowly shifted to Tyrrin, as our midfield began to link together more and more passes as the game progressed. Cassadaigua got their first glimpse of the talent that is Michael Willem in the 23rd minute, when he got the ball quite a distance from the Dagan goal. He rainbowed Meaghen Bateman, and quickly continued down the field, using a clever hesitation move to fool Stephanie Farison. Only a brilliant last-second slide tackle from Erica Lambert prevented Willem from scoring.

This woke Cassadaigua up a bit, and they started to push at the Tyrrinian end a bit more. Bateman and Stephanie Reeves both took long shots from outside the box, one of which Emir had to dive spectacularly to save. Jessica Schanke was then called offsides in the 35th minute, and Diniz stepped up to take the kick. Rather than simply passing the ball off as is usually done in that area of the field, Diniz launched the ball up to Willem, who had cut back up the field to play behind Fortunado to create a mismatch. Willem got the ball, and passed off to Fortunado, who gave the ball back to Willem as he sprinted up the left sideline. He crossed over Lambert, and headed towards the goal. Farison tried to cut him off, but he went right, and then uncorked a long drive from the corner of the box. Allison Salamida barely got a finger on it as she dove to save the shot, but it was enough, and the ball bounced out to the sideline. Unfortunately for Cassadaigua, Raimondo was waiting there, and he crossed the ball back in, right onto Willem's head, who slotted the ball into the goal.

The fans went crazy, and for the rest of the half, Tyrrin kept the ball in the Cassadaigua end of the field. Half time couln't come soon enough for the Dagans, who really needed a break to calm the crowd down. Fortunately, they managed to defend Willem very well for the rest of the half, and no more goals were scored. After the half, the Dagans came out with a lot more confidence, immediately putting pressure on our end of the field, and creating several scoring opportunities. Valerie McCann managed to score in the 49th minute after receiving an excellent pass from Myers inside the box, which she drilled into the back of the net. This quieted the crowd a bit and the managed to keep up the pressure for another ten minutes. Eventually, the Tyrrinian midfield got back on their feet, and worked the ball back into the Cassadaigua end. In the 62nd minute, Fortunado got a pass from Booker just outside the box, he turned and shot, but it was blocked. The ball sailed back out to Booker, who settled it and then took a shot himself, which curved into the top corner of the goal, putting Tyrrin up 2-1.

Cassadaigua made some changes both offensively and defensively after this, afraid that the situation might get out of hand. This almost resulted in a goal in the 68th minute, when Tara Demarco set up Myers brilliantly, but the latter put the shot over the net. Montcalve put on Gerd for Booker for more defense, the latter of which got a standing ovation as he left the field. Tyrrin started to get more chances on goal again, with Willem narrowly missing twice. In the 73rd minute, Willem took another crack at goal after receiving a Rodrigo pass inside the outside the box. He faked a shot, then took another touch and fired. The ball sliced downwards just out of the reach of Salamida, giving Tyrrin a much-needed insurance goal.

Cassadaigua stepped up the pressure late in the game, but it was not enough. The defense performed well again, holding the Dagans to only one shot in the last minutes. When the referee blew his whistle, Remembrance Park erupted in cheers. I couldn't believe it myself, but our players expressed that they had plenty of confidence going in to the match during post game interviews. Booker said that the team had been playing at a high level, and felt that they could meet any challenge. He also wished to acknowledge the Dagans for an excellent match, and said that they were renowned as excellent players and sportswomen. Personally, I think that the Dagans may have been a bit overconfident going into the match, with Myers' comments of "we will just go about their business and make them look like geldings as opposed to stallions" as evidence.

The win gives the Stallions much more hope for qualification, as Yafor 2 and the Kazoo Peoples have already lost to the Dagans. The Kazoo Peoples won last night, while the Yaforites tied. Next up for us is a friendly against Delaclava to be held in Remembrance Park, during which a ceremony in honor of the victims of the recent school shootings in their country will take place. The rivalry might be a bit subdued, but if we allow those who commited the crime to influence our traditions, they will have won. We will also be hosting the Vvardenfell World Cup Special, though we will not be playing in it. After the friendly will be a huge match against Yafor 2, which could be the match that decides which team qualifies.

Email Benny Tjerd at btjerd@tnn.tyr

by **The Archregimancy** » Fri May 28, 2010 10:51 pm

[OOC - just a quick note to the hosts that there are now rosters (albeit fairly cursory ones) for both the Archregimancy and the Holy Empire, and the OP of the RP thread can be edited to provide links to both when convenient]

Memo

From: The Sport Association of the Holy Monastery of Pantocrator

To: The Monastic Football Association

Dear Brothers in Christ

As we seem to have the last functioning Oneirometre in the Archregimancy during the current reality storm, which continues to cause so much havoc to our communications with Ordinary Reality, you have asked us to provide the MFA with a summary of the current World Cup qualification campaign.

With all humility, it pleases us to report that the squad are undefeated this campaign. Indeed, they have won eight of their nine qualifying matches so far, with only one draw. Given our inability to fully interact with the heathens and heretics of OR this campaign, and that four of our first six matches were away from home, this is indeed a remarkable record (even considering the poor quality of the opposing heretics and unbelievers), and one which may signal our best ever qualification campaign. Thanks are indeed due to the Lord our God. A brief precis of each match follows.

Kulverint 2–5 The Archregimancy: A remarkable result given that the team are not known for their attacking prowess. Reports in the Kulverint media state that the squad were 3-0 up inside half an hour, and we have retrieved some grainy black and white footage over the Oneirometre that seems to confirm this. A Kulverint fightback was ended by a couple of fine late goals.

BrightonBurg 0–1 The Archregimancy: Remarkably stubborn heathen opponents were finally overcome by the servants of the Lord with a 79th minute free kick. We must do better against this type of opposition.

The Archregimancy 3–1 Unitopolis: Despite the visitors taking the lead with an early lucky deflection, the result was never really in doubt. But for a fine performance by the visiting goalkeeper, we could have scored more often than the Great Whore of Babylon at an orgy.

Hillpiece 0–3 The Archregimancy: A routine stroll in the monastic park against a heathen nation we know little about, and have little desire to learn more about.

The Archregimancy 3–2 Toyur: A misunderstanding by our opponents saw them attempt to perform a schismatic Roman mass before kickoff, something which rather overshadowed what - by all accounts - was a most exciting match won by a last-gasp injury time winner.

Toy Toy 0–2 The Archregimancy: Two goals in the first ten minutes seemed to suggest a massacre, but a welcome display of monastic humility saw the squad decide not to slaughter the innocents.

The Archregimancy 1–1 Landau Institute: Our only misstep, and one which is causing some concern. If we are reading the Oneirometre correctly, the Landau Institute - who have previously shown some friendliness towards Orthodoxy - are dabbling with the occult via tarot cards. Should we take an exorcist along for the return leg?

Kill and Death 1–4 The Archregimancy: If I might quote 1 Corinthians 15:12-26... "Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there be no resurrection of the dead, then is Christ not risen: And if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and your faith is also vain. Yea, and we are found false witnesses of God; because we have testified of God that he raised up Christ: whom he raised not up, if so be that the dead rise not. For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised: And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins. Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive. But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming. Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power. For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet. The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." In this case via a routine 4-1 away win.

The Archregimancy 3–2 Westmeadow Tavern: A welcome warning that not all of the weaker opposition in the group should be taken lightly. As has often been the case in the Archregimancy's history, we struggled in a match we should have won easily. Once the reality storm clears, we will have to take steps to ensure that the squad are more prepared for this type of low- to middle-ranked team.

Yours in Christ,

The Sport Association of the Holy Monastery of Pantocrator +

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Fri May 28, 2010 11:19 pm

SOMEWHERE DEEP IN SBIS HQ

"..get that monitor working, Theophilus!"

"Can't, boss. All of them are still down. Anna?"

"Sorry. All 15 of my realities are down too. Same with Zoe P. and Romanus. They're all down in this sector."

"What about the trans-dimensional realities?"

"WATCH OUT!!!! DAMN. Another monitor blown."

"Well work on fixing that one too. And Basil? Those trans-dimensional realities?"

"Bit more luck there, boss. Still in contact with the Ineffable Realm."

"How are they coping?"

"Bit of damage to the Great Eon's upper sensory organs, but the Lesser Ones don't notice the storm."

"ANOTHER ONE BLOWN!!! TWO STAFF DOWN!"

"Well, get them healed. Do you need me to tell you how to do everything around here?"

"And I've managed to hold contact with the Fifteen. The Fourteenth says they have everything under control."

"They would, Irene. They're so completely beyond ordinary dimensional understanding it amazes me we can even... DUCK!"

"That was close, sir!"

"I'd say. How did a Necrophosaur get in here anyway?"

"We're struggling to keep some of the portals to the Death Worlds closed, sir. Sorry about that. Think we've sealed that one."

"And what about the most important monitor and gate array? Samuel?"

"Happy to report that we can still get a team out to the World Cup, and bring our opponents in, boss."

"And are the mundies noticing the reality storm?"

"Doesn't look like it, boss. Managed to hide it from them so far."

"And the results? Is that monitor still working?"

"Just about, boss. It's a bit intermittent, but looks like we're leading the group over Vephrall - and with easily the most comfortable goal difference in the group - and while I can't make out all the footage, looks like we spanked Somewhereistonia 5-3 away in the last match."

"Excellent. Send a full report to ISPI. And John?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Can someone please explain to me why this sort of disaster only ever happens during the World Cup?"

by **Toiletdonia** » Sat May 29, 2010 12:00 am

Loonaterian 0–0 Toiletdonia

Tota's Blog
Toiletdonia have never been a team to hammer new teams. We've lost or drawn to all the teams lower ranked than us. Apart from Tarrentum we thrashed them good and proper. Loonaterian should have been an easy game with a win and then a happy champagne filled flight home. But no we mucked up. We should have scored on more than one occasion. I missed after 12 minutes from five yards out by blasting it over the bar. That was a disappointment. It would have been easier to score. Then Tellvos he shot and it went so far over I was wondering if we would ever see that ball again.
This should really have been a win and the manager let us know that he was really angry. He forced us to fly economy class after the last few results we had and I nearly died of suffocation. We really need to pick up our act as far as I'm concerned otherwise will suck till we die.

Milak's Blog
I think that really Toiletdonia suck these days. We're still in the place on the table where we expected to be but the point was we needed to do better than that. We beat all the bloody good teams but against the bad teams we sucked. I nearly scored but otherwise the rest were hopeless. Tota completely skied it over the top. Tellvos hit it so hard that the ball hasn't even come down yet. As captain I yelled at them and hard. The manager forced them to fly economy class because he shared my thoughts. They think they got it tough? My steak wasn't medium rare like I ordered it, it was medium. And I ordered the plane champagne and they gave me Italian sparkling wine! Hopeless. We really need to improve.

LowCoff's Blog
As manager I've always been a bit soft on the boys. I know they can perform and I've tried everything to get them to. Sadly they don't seem to want to. They always suck against small teams except Tarrentum we stuffed them up good. We always seem to beat the big teams. So if we qualified we might have a good world cup. The thing is we are where we were expected to be in the group so far and I said I would aim for at least a 4th place finish. Still I think the boys have it in them. We lost badly though. Tellvos was hopeless as far as shots go he skied it when he should have scored. Tota also was awful he smashed it over the bar he was rubbish. Then there was the meeting afterwards. I went a bit tough on them but looking back I don't regret it they needed a wake up call and I was the man to give it to them. They then were forced into economy class where they would suffer autograph hunters and cramped small seats. I had problems of my own. The champagne wasn't really that good anyway a bit flat really. And the steak was over cooked. In my day steak has blood dripping down it and that's the way I like it. Oh well soon will be in Tyrrin searching for victory in the Vvardenfell world cup special. Hope next game will go better for us really. We deserve a few wins and to nearly qualify at least until next time this is LowCoff and this is my blog.

0 Mins: Kick-off

3 Mins: Milak hits the woodwork.

12 Mins: Tota skies it.

22 Mins: Jankor runs down the wing and crosses it in. Goalkeeper hits it out for a corner.

37 Mins: Tota hacks down a player. Yellow card.

45 Mins: Half-time

54 Mins: Tellvos kicks the ball out of the stadium to the delight of the Loonaterian fans.

72 Mins: Tellvos crosses it to Velcota who sends it wide.

85 Mins: Jankor kicks the ball towards the goal but it is saved.

90 Mins: Full time.

Somewhere in Toiletdonian Football HQ.

"So let me guess we thrashed them right?"

"Thrashed who?"

"Loonaterian."

"Er well..."

"Well what then did we beat Loonaterian or not?"

"Or not."

"What was the scoreline?"

"Loonaterian 0–0 Toiletdonia"

"That's not good were far better than that!"

"I know but we seem to struggle against smaller teams."

"Well then we must do something about it."

"Like what? What could we do? It's not like we can drug all the players in our group!"

"I know that but there is something we can do!"

"Oh god now you have an Idea that's always bad news."

"Phone the local drug dealer we need a big shipment!"

"What of?"

"Well duh steroids!"

"But that's unsporting!"

"My family never played by the rules!"

"I know that I'm married to your sister!"

"She never told me that!"

"Too bad."

"Do you think you can call the drug lord then?"

"Oh fine it better than sitting and arguing."

"I think we also need to call the squad doctor let him on that were giving the player an inoculation before every game from now on and we'll have them to him soon."

"I'm doing that."

"Do you think it will help?"

"Well duh!"

"Hello this is Durki Persan. Yes. Yes. Yes. Great. Steroids please. 20,000 needles please. Yes we are fixing sports. Toiletdonia. Okay bye."

"Ordered and done!"

"Great!"

"I think it is time we rewarded ourselves!"

"Are you talking about drinking some fermented frog spawn?"

"Oh yes were going to drink some of the finest!"

"All the way from the mountains of Toiletdonia hey? Sounds good."

"Cheers!"

Team meeting
"You know we need to improve our form against teams not as good as us."

"It all has to do with complacency."

"I hate that it makes my play suck."

"I think we need to train to stop us getting angry with new teams."

"Who will we play against?"

"How about a team full of animals?"

"Now that may sound crazy but it's a good idea!"

"Really did didn't mean to!"

"We'll you did!"

"Well okay lets do that."

"Okay where do we find them?"

"The universities have them."

"That's good. That's very good."

"In fact there is already a team of them playing American football."

"Lets play them."

"Sounds good we'll need to get the team together."

"Ah can't be bothered."

"I can lets go that."

One game later.

"How did we lose 13-1?"

"They out played us even though some of them started eat some of the other players."

"I just don't understand how we scored."

"I do. It was when the dogs got distracted by the cats they were clawing them so they chased them and I scored."

"We need to practice more now we just get too complacent about playing teams worse than us."

"Lets keep trying and maybe will improve at some point."

"Yeah until then we have some more real practice to do and our injections."

"Ah lets sit down first and talk about what we can do to improve."

"Okay I think we need to play better."

"Apart from that."

"Yes well lets try some voodoo."

"That's just random."

"I know it will work."

"No you don't."

"Okay but it will be fun!"

"Lets get started."

"First we must get this doll of the players and start sticking pins with it."

"Ha this is fun!"

"Now we must set it on fire!"

"Ha ha look at it burn!"

"Now we throw it in the pot of petrol."

"Ha ha look at it explode!"

"Now we take the cinders and put them in some water."

"Look at the mush!"

"Now we take the mush and spread in on some cactus."

"Ha look at that!"

"Now we wait and shout Gerta five time and then the ritual is completed."

"Gerta! Gerta! Gerta! Gerta! Gerta!"

"Hooray! We may now crush our enemies!"

"So that was that now what?"

"We sleep maybe?"

"Nah how about nachos?"

"Yeah it'll go with the cacti we have."

"Okay I'll phone the Mexican."

Scores:
Milak- 4
Tota- 3
Yenco- 2
Dehaim- 2
Jankor- 1
Tellvos- 1
Vust- 1

Assists:
Tellvos- 4
Velcota- 3
Jankor- 3
Dehaim- 2
Bright- 1

The story so far
20-5-10: Vs. Lithatrius 1-1 D
21-5-10: Vs. Kelssek 0-1 L
22-5-10: Vs. Pays de Horreur 1-1 D
23-5-10: Vs. Bostopia 3-3 D
24-5-10: Vs. Sargossa 2-1 W
25-5-10: VS. Tarrentum 5-1 W
26-5-10: Vs. The Shinnian Islands 1-0 L
27-5-10: Vs. Bisgea 4-1 W
28-5-10: Vs. Khytenna 0-1 L
29-5-10: Vs. Loonaterian 0–0 D

by **Khytenna** » Sat May 29, 2010 3:31 am

Royal Khytenna news

Khytenna Victory

Khytenna 2
Pellett 34th
Firestone 70th

Pays de Horreur 3
Zidane 44th , 57th , 90th

Khytenna Played very well last night against an on par Pays de Horreur, but a last minute hat trick goal by Zidane cost the home side a draw and made it the fourth loss.

Khytenna and Pays de Horreur both battled it out in the first half, making decent chances for goal, Firestone made a shot across goal in the 13th minute that was kept out by the corner post. Forbes made a good shot at goal in 20th minute that the keeper just got a touch to, but it would be Pellett that would get the opening goal in the 34th minute after a good run by firestone open up the defence, he then made across the goal line and was a simple tap in by Pellett to put Khytenna ahead. Pays de Horreur came back ten minutes later with a well played goal. Bundy passed the ball to tipps who was just out the penalty box, he let the ball pass though his legs to met a running zidane on the other side, battling of Shurtz to the ball, he powered it past Welte making it 1-1 before the end of the first half.

Second half started well for khytenna, a Long Rang Carmichael shot rattled the crossbar, Khytenna was out to get the win, but Pays de horreur would be the side to get the goal, another Zidane shot in the Box made it 2-1 to Pays de Horreur, the first time they have been in the lead in the game. Khytenna eventually answered back in the 70th minute, Firestone made a impressive run into the Box creating a one on one chance with Keeper Barry, Firestone came out on top making the game 2-2. Khytenna played the game in defence after this, they could see that a draw would be a good outcome, occasionally making attacks. Pays de Horreur going for the win with shots from Gettis, Zidane and Forbes challenging Keeper Welte, but to no avail. The Winning goal came from a corner in the last minute of the game. All of the Pays de Horreur players went up for it. The ball was crossed in to wide by Lafayette, but Zidane made a shot a difficult angle shot across the goal that curled slightly making the game 3-2 to Pay de Horreur.

Khytenna lose, but played very well indeed. And will now be looking forward to the frendlys.

Khytenna will play the same squad in the next game.
GK 1. Michele Welte (Persepi Sharks FC)
LB 19. Shad Vancil ( Keltyme Foresters)
RB 3. james Ursua (Blue bay Fc)
CB 17. Nelson Bohannan (Duke’s District FC)
CB 14. Matt Shurtz ( Percepi Sharks)
RW 7. Casey Thorne (capt) (Central FC)
LW 9 Neil Ringwood(Blue bay FC) CM 8. Kurk Rusek (Drakes City)
CM23.John Carmichael(Central FC)
ST 20. Lini Pellett (AS New Haven )
FC 10. Fergal Firestone (Blue bay FC)

Subs:
13. Tim Gatton (Xepthic Reds))
21. Darryl Jolin(Portside Park FC)
4. Kerrian Sheetz (Blue Bay FC)
11. Allan Syd (Xephik Reds)
5. Teddy Berkeley (Central FC)
22. Hugh Agan (Telio Checkers)

------------------------Welte

Sheetz---------Shurtz --Bohannan----Ursua

Ringwood --Rusek- -- Carmichael---Thorne (capt)

----------------- -----------Firestone
-------------------Pellett

ISideWith UK · by **Eastfield Lodge** » Sat May 29, 2010 3:40 am

The Gazette Sports

Ronald Caesar resigns, and the team are left without a manager.

Ronald Caesar has today declared his stepping down from the role as manager of the Eastfield Lodge national team after a string of poor results. He has come up with this statement:

I have decided to step down from the role as national team manager after trying my best to bring this talented what they deserve. I have failed in this objective, and the cracks in my management were apparent ever since the previous World Cup, where we lost badly to ranked far below us. I will however not retire from management, but I am planning to take a little break to get my thoughts in order before I return. I hope my successor will be good enough to take this team to the next level.

He then left the conference refusing to answer any more questions.
How this came about is a result of a rather short and very demoralising process. After the 3-2 loss to Newmanistan, the team then lost 2-0 at home to Hemas, and then gained a scoreless draw away at Swilatia, before losing themselves in a very humiliating defeat; losing 4-1 at home to unranked Hockey Canada, Shabeen Ahmad III scoring the consolation goal in front of 2,000 home fans in a 150,000 seat stadium in the 85th minute. The team then went off to Jeru FC, where they surprisingly only kept the score down at 4-1, the World #2 team showing why they got there. Willy Wonky scored all four of their goals in just the first 15 minutes, before Shabeen pulled on back three minutes later. The match stayed at that rather flattering scoreline, considering the EL players were playing atrocious football, and both sides felt that the score should have been 10-1, if not more, to Jeru FC. At the halfway stage, the string of poor results leaves Eastfield Lodge languishing in 9th place in Group 8, only one point above bottom place Krsta, and 13 off qualification with 27 to play for:

Group 8                    P    W   D   L   GF   GA   GD  Pts 
 1 Jeru FC                    9    7   2   0   34   16  +18   23
 2 Queer Poco el Mono Ara     9    6   3   0   26   15  +11   21
 3 Newmanistan                9    5   1   3   21   13   +8   16
 4 Swilatia                   9    2   5   2   20   19   +1   11
 5 Sierra Apathia             9    3   1   5   15   16   −1   10
 6 Hockey Canada              9    3   1   5   14   17   −3   10
 7 Hemas                      9    3   1   5   14   18   −4   10
 8 Hassett                    9    3   1   5   10   17   −7   10
 9 Eastfield Lodge            9    2   2   5   13   19   −6    8
10 Krsta                      9    2   1   6   10   27  −17    7

All in all, in looks like the team will be playing a third stint in the CoH, if they even get there.

Team to play West Zirconia and Albundia (both away): Starting XI (all fit and allowed to play)
Team to play Mantwenic at Dillvill Park: Reserves (non of the Starting XI)

Goal Tally WC51Q:
Shabeen Ahmad III: 7
Chris Lau: 3
Sameer Ahmad: 2
Adam Johnson: 1
James Scott: 1
Daniel Scott: 1
James Tarpy: 1

by **Candelaria And Marquez** » Sat May 29, 2010 4:54 am

[A MD behind again. Deary me. Life is hard, Ebony-Jewel Cora-Lee Camellia Rosamond.]

“…tunity next month to take our country back for its rightful owners. Take our flag back, take our shirt back, and take our nation back! It has to be now, we can’t…”

“Drowned out by booing, nice. Did we ask for that?”

“TV2 are never less than well-behaved when it comes to their crowd selection, ma’am. Quite a lot of them were bussed in from Clotaire, I think.”

“…at this ridiculous media myth abou–”

“The only media myth at work here, Mr Ireland, is the leftist lie that despicable Tory bootlickers like yourself continue to pump out to save your own…”

“Unfortunate action to demonstrate the concept of ‘pumping out’, there. The This Week’s Amusing Events team will have a field day with that one.”

“Quite. Good to see we haven’t entirely killed biting political satire, isn’t it?”

“…solutely not! Absolutely not, and I, I, I, I object to, to, every….”

“Oh, Christ almighty,” President Morton groaned, shoving two fingers into her eye sockets until the comforting purple explosions arrived. “What are we, twenty minutes in? And he’s going all buh-buh-buh already… Remind me again why we didn’t put one of our ministers up?”

“We have had a policy of not sharing a platform with Freedom Party MPs and spokespeople for a good three years now,” Snezhana, her principal-private-secretary-come-carer said reproachfully. “And Rob Ireland is one of our ministers, technically…”

“Oh, in name only. I do so hate coalitions. Have I mentioned that I do so hate coalitions, lately?”

“Not since lunch, certainly,” Jack Clayton, her campaign chief sighed. “Ah, and now our dear friend Natalie is going to have her tuppenceworth. Tenner says she drops the P-bomb inside thirty seconds.”

“…ardly surprising, given that patriotism comes so much easier to those of us on the left in any case.”

“Aaaand, there it is…”

“Oh, I ask you…!”

“You ask we whether I’d question your love for our country, Mr Christopher? Well yes, as it happens, I would. And I would damn your respect for it, too! A relationship between a person and their nation is like a marriage, and I would suggest, sir, that yours is a less than happy one! You spend every waking moment you can find tearing into your ‘spouse’, Mr Christopher, not even attempting to hide your contempt for it. You continually demean it, you spit on it, you bully it, you hate the fact that it grew up, that it’s not the obliging, servile airhead that you married. But woe betide anyone else who dares to offer a covetous glance at it! You’ll leap to its ‘defence’ then, won’t you? You’ll glare, you’ll shake your fists. You’ll guard it jealously and won’t let anyone else touch it, because however much you hate it it’s the only good thing you’ve got going for you! We, on the other hand, know that the grass is anything but greener! We learn to tolerate, even love our country’s little flaws and foibles, it’s li–”

“Why are people cheering this piffle?”

“It’s good piffle though, ma’am…”

“No it isn’t! It’s tosh from stem to stern! How in hell’s name does she get away with it?”

“…s Van Dijk, if I could remind you of the expected decoru–”

“Honestly, how you can sit there and prattle on about marriage given your track record…”

“And Mr Christopher, likewise! Perhaps we should move on t–”

“Apologies, Mr Matthews, but I find really very hard to hide my contempt for traitors like this man sitting to my right – yes, traitors, Mr Christopher! – who despise the land, despise the values and, more than anything else, despise the people of this nation! Because we’re worldly enough to know that for all its flaws – and it has so many, many flaws – this is still a damned good country to live in! You might think you like the idea of Candelaria And Marquez, but we try to enjoy the reality! We want to improve it, not destroy it, not send it spiralling into civil war, because – unlike you – I haven’t given up on this country, we haven’t given up on this country, the Social Democratic and Green Party haven’t given up on this country, and Mr Christopher? We never will!”

“But it’s just bollocks!”

Her companions in the Square Room at Robinson House stared at their President in mild shock.

“Well it is! I mean honestly! How do they have the gall to present themselves as radical political outsiders aiming for the kind of economic and, and, and social overhaul not seen for decades and yet come out with that kind of rhetoric? How’s that going to play out on the council estates?”

“It doesn’t really matter, Robyn. They’ve had that vote sewn up for months, since the Unionists started freefalling. She’s got to worry about the middle classes now. Present an Idea. Get people carried away. And, well, y’know… It is a damned good country to live it, y’know? Providing you don’t travel abroad or ask questions or have any real idea about the multiverse beyond our shores, and your average voter in these parts doesn’t, I’m afraid. We like it that way, after all. And she’s all things to all people, but they’re ahead in the polls for a reason…”

“Have I mentioned how much I detest mid-term nationwide local council elections lately?”

“Not for about half an hour, no.”

“…tantly clear that SD&GP policies would terminally undermine the institution of marriage, wo–”

“No-o! Don’t engage her on her policies, talk about ours! Yours. Theirs. God, I hate coalitions…”

“Even if he wins on policies, it still ends up looking like he’s attacking her. You don’t attack Natalie van Dijk, not when the country’s in this mood. It’d be like staving Jhanna Young’s head in with a brick and expecting to win a by-election.”

“Please don’t let’s talk about by-elections,” Morton sighed, placing her head in her hands.

“…at’s why we’re going to extend paternity leave t–”

“Whatever trinkets you’re proposing, you know perfectly well that your plans would result in a vast upswing in divorces, in absent fathers… What your party simply doesn’t seem to understand is that kids need their dads, Ms Van Dijk, they ne–”

“No, I’m not having that… I’ve made it clear right from the start that the SD&GP, under my watch, would never argue against the idea that a two-parent family, whether they’ve got a little certificate or not, whether they’re of different genders or not, provides clearly the more ideal setting in which to bring up a child. But I truly struggle to see how you can sit there, in clear conscience, and insult every mother who has worked the skin from her bones to bring up her children on her own, through no fault of her own, by telling her that her children are more than likely going to end up skew-whiff in the nut or off the rails because their father wasn’t around! Every war widow, Mr Ireland, how can you insult every war widow by telling them that they are destined to fail beca–”

“We don’t have any bloody war widows! Pick her up on the war widows, you stupid little toff!”

“…ry child, every adult, to have been raised by a single mother; would you like to tell them that they can never be well-rounded human beings, that they’re scarred for life? Unlike you, Mr Ireland, I’ve visited our most deprived communities, our struggling schools, our prisons, and I’ve seen so many times that it’s far from always the absence of a father that’s the problem, it’s the presence of a bad one! And you can sit there and label thousands upon thousands of good, honest, hard-work–”

“Oh, lords, turn her off!”

“Are you sure, ma’am?”

“Yes… I can read the ‘highlights’ in the papers tomorrow, I’m sure…”

“…n no place to talk about the necessity of marriage, given the sheer ubiquity of divorce among your own Conservative MPs, Mr Ireland, tha–”

*CLICK*

“On the plus side,” Clayton ventured, “It is only local councils…”

“Alright, be honest. How many are we actually going to lose?”

“The rural blow-out aside? Abiodun, certainly. Zapata’s a certainty to drop as well, although it hardly matters these days… Clotaire’s going to be hard to cling onto. Allemali…”

“Allemali!? We’ve never lost Allemali!”

“No Overall Control’s almost nailed-on, I’m afraid. A coalition with the Mental Asylum Party’s looking our best bet, at this stage…”

“No, I’m not having that, that won’t do at all… This is my city! It’s not going to go grey on the map, it simply isn’t! Can we drop the new tramline commitment, nobody wants the trams. Tougher approach to street crime? Always goes down well…”

“That’s why we promise it down there every year. Our left-wing grouping on the council tends to put the kibosh on it.”

“Are any of them going to lose their seats?”

“Several, I think.”

“Well that’s a small mercy at least…”

“Honestly though, ma’am, I’m really not sure how well a few extra flytipping wardens and some road surfacing is going to go down. This isn’t a local local election, not even in Allemali. People want vision, they want big ideas… Even if those ideas are, as you say, bollocks. They want, you know…”

“You’re going to use the ‘C’ word, aren’t you?”

“They want change, ma’am.”

“Oh Snezhana, you went and used the ‘C’ word. Jack, fetch me the swear jar.” Morton yawned. “Really, really need to get a good night’s sleep.”

“You and me both, Mrs President.”

“We’ve only been in office two years, anyway. What kind of ‘change’ can they expect? From us or them?”

“It feels much, much longer than that,” Snezhana told her with conviction.

“And things aren’t… Things aren’t that awful on the ground, are they? Sometimes, I just feel so disconnected…”

“Oh, I don’t think anyone thinks that’s the case at all,” Clayton said loyally. Snezhana gave a pointed cough.

“It’s not really a specific kind of change, ma’am. But the fact is, things have moved on a lot in the last year, yo–”

“All we need,” Clayton interrupted, “Is to humanise you a little more. Capture that woman-of-the-people spirit again. Let’s… Let’s just put people at the heart of this campaign, right? ‘People, not Politics!’. Ignore this neo-patriotism stuff, it’ll soon blow over. Van Dijk and the Soc Dems are a passing fad, we all know that. Whatever happens next month, it’ll come down to us versus the Unionists come 2012, it always does.”

“I admire your confidence, Jack, but…”

“And as for Allemali, well… Change, yes, certainly. Change, and an even, an even rudder. Yes. Tradition. Liberal as it may be, it’s proud of its status as the first Candelarian city. There’s a good-old-days mood we need to capitalise on. Strong families, mum and Stargazy Pie…”

“Honest, down-to-earth, navy folk who play by the rules?” Snezhana suggested, rolling her eyes.

“Exactly! Tradition. Cricket on the village green. Nuns rolling down cobbled streets on the back of bicycles.”

“‘I’ve never come this way before’,” Morton murmured.

“Sorry?”

“It doesn’t matter. I must have been thinking of something else… Well, it seems as though you’ve got it all sorted out. Have me pictured hugging some sailors, perhaps?”

“Oh that’s excellent, yes! Everyone loves a sea cadet… I’ll go and mock up some posters now, shall I? ‘People not Politics’! We’re heading for a turnaround, Robyn, I can just feel it!”

The two woman watched him leave.

“We’re heading for something,” Snezhana muttered.

“It’s nice to see him so enthusiastic. Any ideas for my new campaign chief, Snezhana?”

“We’ll probably have to look outside the House of Representatives. We’re running a little low on thrusting young men who haven’t been eaten up by the Remedial Teaching brief…”

The President groaned. “Right, come on then, stick the telly back on.”

“Are you sure, ma’am?”

“Yes, why not? Let’s see if wonder woman’s got the Tory and the neo-Nazi hugging each other in fear yet…”

*CLICK*

“…ut headed out by Stewart, he’s played well on home turf here in Onwere as you might expect… The only question is whether it’s enough to keep Hastings out of the side. Throw-in to be taken by Short, and this is a good spell of pressure from the Kazzish, C&M have spent far too long camped in their own half for Panadero’s liking, I would have thought, but Qiu beats Leaf to the ball and it’s punted forward… Darrens, holding off Gaggioli… Oh, he’s done well, Gaggioli out to the corner flag…! Jerry Long, Young, for KURES!! ONE GOOD CROSS WAS ALL IT TOOK, FIRED HOME BY OGUS KURES…! And that, surely, is job done, John! Fine finish, ten left to play… C&M two, Kazzoria one… Comfortable, John, comfortable.”

*CLICK*

“Looks like it’ll have to be the papers, then,” Morton sighed. “Still… another win. Eight in eight, am I right? That should keep her off the front pages at least.”

“If you say so, ma’am.”

“If there’s one thing the last administration got right above all else, it’s that football can be trusted to keep the peoples’ minds off the important things. Especially when they’re winning.” She paused, catching her secretary’s expression. “You don’t agree…?”

“I… I think things are getting more complicated. Like I was going to say, things aren’t like the way they were a year ago. People accept that they’re being lied to, day in, day out. They don’t trust us, if anything they trust the newspapers even less. The M.O.R.T. can keep a handle on the big things, the big lies… or at least the big omissions, what people see overseas, what their granny in Rothsbere tells them, but… People know that there are more than just long-lost aborigines in Gordon Bay City, even if they don’t know what. People know worse things that bird flu have gone down on Green Island. It’s not just Han whispers anymore… If they actually did know the truth, that people like Natalie Van Dijk and that bastard Lee Christopher have lied to them every bit as much as we have, then it’d be different, but… Although even then, the incumbency factor would screw us…”

“But there’s still football,” Morton insisted. “There’s still success, there’s still glory. That’s worth a thousand of Van Dijk’s distinctly un-Candelariasian little outbursts about patriotism. Or Christopher’s, come to that.”

“I just don’t know if bread and circuses are enough anymore. There was such a hoo-hah over that Mushfiqur Iqbal being deported the other week, and Wonderchild Nzombe being imprisoned. Not in the media, obviously, but people talk, and…”

“We couldn’t let them stay. You know that.”

“I know, but… It doesn’t help, does it?” Snezhana opined.

“Refugees keep their mouths shut,” Morton snapped. “That’s the way it’s always been. And those who step out of line once too often have to face the consequence. People running down the street screaming ‘I need to tell you about the elves!’ are a hazard these days, I agree. Can’t be just dismissed as nutters anymore. So they have to go. Traitors like tha–”

“Traitors!?” the younger woman shouted suddenly. “How dare you even use that word, after everything you’ve done!”

“What!? Your little friend Van Dijk just did!” the President spluttered, taken aback.

“She was talking to a fucking fascist! Not someone who came to this country because they thought it would offer them a better life, only to find themselves banned from ever mentioning one iota of the truth, they’d b–”

“This country owes people like that nothing, Snezhana! Each and every one of them knew the deal when they came here. And just because they’ve suddenly started to think that there’s safety in numbers…”

“‘People like that’…”

“Oh, I wasn’t referring to you, dear, naturally…”

“No? So what if one of my parents decided to speak out? Or me? Would I get deported too, or just slung in the Hole?”

“There’s hardly any point discussing a hypothetical situation which would never come to pass, is there? Candelaria And Marquez gave you and your family a home when all hope seemed lost. You’d never betray us, would you?”

“Not everyone sees it like that…”

“Do you?”

The women held each other’s eyes. Snezhana turned away. “No. Of course not. The public need to be protected from dangerous dissenters whatever their origins and motivations.”

“Good girl…”

“But if I might, ma’am? Clayton’s wrong. We can’t just ignore the nationwide mood, and think it’ll just go away with a bit of cheap electioneering. People know things aren’t right now. Offers of the status quo aren’t good enough, they want guarantees of a better future. And that’s everyone, not just us first-gens. And you’re so distant now, I think people feel as though you just don’t… you just don’t care…”

“Of course I care!”

“But Candelariasians don’t realise that! And, y’know…” She waved her hands impotently. “It’s not as though you’ve got any particular vested interest in trying to make this country a better place ten, twenty, forty years down the line, is it? You haven’t got any children, you…”

“Alright, Snezhana,” Morton offered in low, dangerous tones. “That will do, I’m sure.”

“You could just disappear at the end of your term though, couldn’t you? You’ve no real reason to stick around, you only need live for the now. And you could just take your money, live out your retirement somewhere abroad… The people want to believe that the twenty-first century is going to offer more than just… this. That Candelaria And Marquez actually offers them a reason to stay, to raise a family here, without fear of opening their minds…I need to believe that…”

Morton’s eyes travelled down towards her secretary’s hands. “You’re, uh… You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“You know I’m pregnant. I told you last week…”

“Um… Yes. Yes, I mean, obviously, want I meant was… How’s um, your young man, um, coping with, um, impending…”

“He doesn’t know,” the woman said shortly. “I told you that last week. I’ll go and give Jack a hand with the new campaign material, shall I?”

“Yes. Um. Yes. Thank you, Snezhana. And don’t, ah, don’t exert yourself unduly, will you? I don’t… Oh. B’bye then,” she added quietly, as the door to the Square Room shut definitively behind the younger woman.

And now it was all quiet again in the Square Room, and the silence made her head ache. And the telephone sat on the President’s desk, staring at her pointedly. And in time, she lifted the receiver and dialled a single digit.

“Damien? Good yes… Yes, look, that can wait, I… I need to talk to you about a Snezhana Wlakantchovski. Soon, if you please…”

by **South Norwega** » Sat May 29, 2010 4:57 am

DRAWS
South Norwega Times Herald Sun Guardian
Two draws for South Norwega. 2-2 against Osarius, and 1-1 against Die Adler. Boring matches for the most part, with Callaghan scoring the double in the first match, and Eden appearing from defence to slot in the goal against Die Adler.Ratings are dropping sharply, as South Norwega tunes into the latest hit craze TV Show, Shopping Adventures.

SOUTH NORWEGA SCORER OF THE YEAR:
Callaghan - 2 (Osarius)
Eden - 1 (Die Adler)

SOUTH NORWEGA PLAYER OF THE YEAR:
James Callaghan - 4 (3&1)
Margaret Thatcher - 4 (2&2)
Anthony Eden - 3
Tony Blair - 1

MATCH PREVIEW
South Norwega Times Herald Sun Guardian
Friendlies. Who cares, really? Useless pieces of crap that draw time and money away from the real spectacle! The THSG shall boycott all friendlies in future! Death to the heretics!

NEW SPORTS EDITOR ANNOUNCED
South Norwega Times Herald Sun Guardian
After a rather rude and uncalled for rant, the previous Sports editor of the THSG has been shunted sideways into the Fruit Editor position.

by **Jeruselem** » Sat May 29, 2010 5:20 am

Assistant coach Oksana "Pups" Ferris with playing pack of Tarot cards. Ricky Pointy Stick and Princess Shay are curious.

Pups: Hey, how do you use these things?
Ricky: I don't know. I'm not superstitious.
Shay: That's a funny looking pack.
Pups: Someone gave it to me, I have no idea what to with it.

Shay: That looks like grandma!
Ricky: Yes, it does.
Pups: I've never such a weird pack.
Ricky: Yes, this is a new one.

Shay: I'll go mix these up and you pick one Ricky.
Ricky: Um, I don't think it works that way.
Shay: Who cares, I'm just doing this for fun.
Pups: I'm not into this Tarot business.

Shay: OK coach, pick one.
Ricky: I hope it isn't a bad one.
Shay: It could be anything, not that I know what all these cards are.
Pups: It's not going to kill you Ricky.

Ricky: OK ...
Pups: Number 6, Dazza Dallas!
Ricky: Just the one I really wanted, not.
Shay: Wonder what it all means.

Pups: I'm sure someone knows.
Ricky: I'm sure there has something to with sex in there.
Pups: Of course, but what?
Shay: Maybe the Landau Institute of Protection and Teaching?

Ricky: Oh them ...
Pups: Come on, let's find out.
Ricky: I'm not sure I want to really know.
Shay: Maybe it could be good news coach.

<Later>

Ricky: Very interesting ...
Shay: I think it means you're going to meet women and even score one.
Ricky: At least there's no one to cheat on.
Pups: There's plenty of girls in the team to choose from!

Shay: Not that Jeruselem coaches haven't slept with their players.
Ricky: Yes, I know of the results we end up with.
Pups: You talking about me and Princess Helena?
Shay: Oh come on, it's good news!

Ricky: Now you lot have me worried.
Pups: You want to be single guy all your life now?
Ricky: Yes
Shay: It's not they way we think. Life is about sharing the best with family and friends.

Pups: Yes, you've got huge family around there Ricky.
Ricky: It's bad enough with four Dallas girls playing in this team.
Pups: Oh come on, more little ducklings are needed.

by **Vjiay** » Sat May 29, 2010 10:22 am

Lithatrius 0 – 2 Vjiay

“Okay, so we’re at the half-way point of the World Cup 51 Group Stage, Vjiay have just defeated Lithatrius two-nil, a decent win with goals from the prolific Clarke and the dependable Lightfoot, what do you think of our national team’s performance so far, Alf?”

“Thanks Oscar. Yeah, we’re doing okay. Right now we’re on a record of three wins, one draw and five losses. Not as good as many of us optimistic Vjiayans would have liked, but decent all the same for a first international foray. Our performances in a few of the games give us hope for future competitions, even if out hopes for this one are over.”

“Really, you reckon our chances are shot?”

“Well it would take a major slip up from the teams above us for us to qualify now, although we are in striking distance of the Iglesian Archipelago and Tretskivuicia teams, who’re just one point above us, both of whom have rather difficult matches coming up against Schiavonia and Lithatrius respectively. If both lose or draw, and the Vjiayans win, we’ll climb to fifth in the group.”

“So what of the player’s performances, who has been our best performer so far?”

“Well as we expected Clarke has stepped up to the plate. He’s our highest scorer, with six goals. Our midfield has been good but could possibly be more dominating; many of our conceded goals have come from poor ball losses in midfield, we need to get those faults ironed out if we can, or else there’s no hope for our qualification.”

“Well, that’s all from us! We’ll be back in a few games for more analysis!”

by **Virabia** » Sat May 29, 2010 10:37 am

For the team it's a day off. Players are home seeing their families, whom they hadn't seen in a couple of weeks. However, for Brett Sampson this is as busy a day as any. Not only would he have to prepare a game plan for tomorrows away match against Rick Roll land, but he also had to sort through the application letters for some one to replace them. Even with all of this he considered himself lucky, as all the rest of his normal duties were being carried out by his assistants. It was still hell though.

While sorting through the myriad of applications for the job, he found himself both happy and disappointed. Happy that, there were few applications, and the ones he had were all junk, he was disappointed for the same reason. Sure, Virabia is not even a player in the international field but he expected more than this. Out of the 5 he received so far, only one actually held a current job, and that was with C.D. Vonghurst. Which isn't all that great a team. The rest were from unemployed managers, most of them had a philosophy similar to his own, defence, defence, defence.

He sighed as he put all of the applications in the trash. They were all worthless. He needed someone good. He needed someone with experience who is willing to work with a team that is ranked 150th in the world. He needed someone who just may not exist.

by **Bears Armed** » Sat May 29, 2010 11:49 am

(at 'Plumtrees Park' stadium...)

The groundkeeping staff's work to make sure that everything there is as good as possible for the upcoming 'friendly' games has had to be halted temporarily, because the Bear-Belles management -- worried about the team's inexplicably low standard of play during several of their most recent 'qualifiers' -- have brought in a group of 'shabears' to determine whether some kind of supernatural factor has been involved in this and those people need to conduct some of their rituals out on the actual pitch itself.

by **F1-Insanity** » Sat May 29, 2010 12:20 pm

It won't be forever autumn

F1-Insanity 3–1 Somewhereistonia
Carpathia and Ruthenia 3–2 F1-Insanity

With the qualification campaign now halfway, we feel confident that two conclusions can be drawn so far. First of all, our beloved team, the F1-Insanity Certifieds football team has 13 points from 9 games which is one point more than we had halfway the last qualifying rounds (12 from 10). Also, we are in fourth place so we are on course for that top 5 finish that we planned for.

However, coach Johnston still has his work cut out for him to achieve that winning record that he is required to achieve. Both a winning record and a top 5 spot. And our next game is at home to The Holy Empire, leaders with 23 points. The Holy Empire and Vephrall are nine and six points clear of third place Carpathia and Ruthenia. Even Holy Empires ought to suffer the occasional defeat, right?

Of our last two games, we can talk about at length, but let's suffice to say that we had a welcome home victory over Somewhereistonia and a narrow 3-2 defeat away to Carpathia and Ruthenia. Also, Rick Roll Land, who started so well have now lost four on the bounce, which all started with the defeat they suffered against us. The Rick Roll meme is getting lame anyway so this is something that many will like to see.

But the non-losing record that our F1-Insanity team has halfway, suggests that we are slowly improving and won't be stuck in an autumn-esque mediocrity forever.

There is a curse on mankind
The title of this doesn't make any sense. But we overheard a rather strange figure saying this on one of the streetcorners near the Paladin Stadium. The man seemed to think that the planet we are on is going to die very soon, as in his vision it was the core of our planet that was increasingly unstable. We cannot imagine why he would think that so we just decided to write this lame bit in order to fill some space.

Foreigners allowed to play in F1-Insanity Honors Division?
After years of perfect isolation, it looks like the football association of F1-Insanity, in cooperation with the governments department of sport, is going to lift the ban on foreign players in our domestic top soccer league. "In order to increase the level of our football, it is essential for us to attract top foreign football players, and also for some of our players to start playing in top foreign leagues", said a spokesman from the football association.

This is just the latest in a series of measures that F1-Insanity wants to use in order to get rid of its xenophobic reputation. Of course, actions speak louder than words and we'll have to see just how much will happen, but we can all be sure that money is not an object. F1-Insanity is a significantly above average rich country with a booming economy. It is said that the heads of many of F1-Insanity's corporations, headed by GPM (Great Products of Mulcahey) chairman George Armistead, pressed for the new measures. "Business must expand beyond our shores", Armistead told us. F1-Insanity's top arms manufacturer, Black Legion Corporation, led by chairman Richard Bush has already made it clear that it will sponsor one of the top flight teams with generous amounts of money. Bush said that "it is time for money to be invested in our communities, and our international business and trade relations".

⁠  Group 13                   P    W   D   L   GF   GA   GD  Pts 
 1 The Holy Empire            9    7   2   0   31   11  +20   23
 2 Vephrall                   9    6   2   1   18   11   +7   20
 3 Carpathia and Ruthenia     9    4   2   3   10    7   +3   14
 4 F1-Insanity                9    4   1   4   16   16    0   13
 5 Somewhereistonia           9    4   1   4   22   22    0   13
 6 Novikov                    9    3   3   3    8   10   −2   12
 7 Catmeowland                9    2   4   3    8   11   −3   10
 8 Rick Roll Land             9    2   3   4   11   17   −6    9
 9 Virabia                    9    1   4   4    4   10   −6    7
10 Aluetiva                   9    0   2   7   12   25  −13    2

by **Virabia** » Sat May 29, 2010 3:03 pm

It's mid day in the small hamlet of Rayton, which is located on the south shore of Lake Braanta. A small town, it only has 10 houses, a restaurant, a general store and a small park.

In one of those houses lives Hal Baker, who was widely accredited with bring football back to the Virabi isles. He was the founder and commissioner of the short lived League of Association Football. Before that he was a world famous manager, who was renowned for taking small time un-successful clubs and building them up into serious contenders. However, that was a lifetime ago. Now, in his early 90's (and still going) he lives a quiet secluded life in Braantaland. For the longest time, he thought he had permanently given up football. That was until he got a phone call.

"Hey, Hal, its Buck", it was Buck, his long time friend on the phone.

"Yea, what do you need", replied Hal.

"I was watching the tele the other day, and I heard that the national team was looking for a new manager. One who could make them a better team and as I saw that, I thought it might be something you could do."

"Buck, I'm 92. Who knows how much longer I have on this planet. It's probably not all too long. Also, I haven't managed a team in around 40 years. Sure I was good back then but, that was then. Now, I probably would get a heart attack due to the stress of it all. Football isn't my life anymore, and you especially should know that."

"Well, can you atleast think about it. I mean, what would be a better comeback than getting the nats' to the World Cup. "

"Buck. You know as well as I do that that's pretty much impossible. At least in my lifetime"

"So, at least you can get them on the road to success". Buck was really trying to convince Hal to at least pursue the job, "Either way consider it, You might be just what the team needs.’

“Fine, I’ll look into it” said Hal before hanging up the phone. He then went over to his computer and looked up who he should contact in regard to the managerial vacancy. He saw that he’d be talking to a fellow named Brett Sampson. He then went over and picked up the phone.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
The ring of the phone jolted Brett awake. He had dozed off in his chair and his assistant didn’t wake him after 10 minutes like he told him to. Brett then reached over and put switched the phone into speaker mode. “What”, he snapped.

“I’m calling about the manager position with the National Team. Are you Brett Sampson” said the voice over the phone.

“Yea, and who the fuck are you,”

“I’m Hal Baker.”

“Listen punk I’m in no mood to talk to some kid pretending to be the Hal Baker. Now please get off the god damned line!”

“I’m not some kid. I am Hal Baker. Trust me on this.”

“Ok, so what do you want then.”

“Well, at a friend’s prodding, I’ve called about the whole manager shindig.”

“I see, well once I get more people interested I’ll call you up and we can schedule an interview, anyways I’ve got to go, so I’ll be seeing you”

Just as he hung up the phone one of his assistants, Max, came busting in the door, “I’ve just received something from the CCFM. Apparently they have two managers who are interested in the job."

"They any good?"

"Haven't opened the message yet. Figured that I'd let you do that"

"OK", Brett said as he turned to his computer. He opened the message and saw that both men were qualified. He turned to the phone, and started dialling. He had some interviews to schedule.

by **The Babbage Islands** » Sat May 29, 2010 3:35 pm

After our last match I commented, "Sometimes everything just falls into place."

Well, sometimes it doesn't. And Dorian and Sonya capitalised on that at home against us to put up a 2-1 win, our first loss of World Cup 51 qualifying. J'hys Ickaeth was a thorn in our side all match at right forward, ultimately scoring both goals for the Mystical Unicorns at 19' and 67'. The other key Unicorn player was keeper V'orm Ageoth, who kept tipping away good shots just in the nick of time. Orson Cook got our lone score in the 60th minute, but Ickaeth's quick goal to retake the lead definitely pumped up the home side.

We can count ourselves fortunate that it was a day for favourites to struggle, as both Jeruselem in first place and West Pocono in third drew with lower-ranked foes. We therefore only lost one point in the table to each, and finish the first half of qualifying three points down to Jeruselem and five up on the Poconi.

The traditional break between the two legs of qualifying will see us playing three friendlies. We'll travel first to Osarius and then to Mantwenic for two matches, then play a home friendly at the Duck Pond in Kopavogur against The Weegies. All three matches have us as nominal favourites, but I expect tough encounters in each case regardless. Mantwenic in particular are having a fine tournament, sitting equal first in their group with five-time champions Starblaydia. The Weegies are second in their group, and whilst Osarius are now struggling they nevertheless have a 2-0-0 record against us in Women's World Cup and friendly play at senior level.

It looks like Belgium FC will take advantage of the break to play a Premier League lineup that may evoke the future. With recent signings they'll be able to field an entire eleven of capped internationals including ten foreign nationals. And with stars like Jeremy McAllister, Jr., Shannon Myers, Kelli Alder, and Allison Salamida on board they will be tough. Funny thing is, they may still finish second in the Premier League as Greenville Rovers keep matching win-for-win in an attempt to repeat as champions.

Smile!

World Cup 51 Qualifying: The Babbage Islands

MD1: Dimoniquid (Capital Stadium, Charleston): won 4-0
MD2: at Blouman Empire: won 5-1
MD3: Jeruselem (The Great Dome, Gernsback): drew 0-0
MD4: at St Paul’s Isle: won 6-3
MD5: Balida (Whitecliff Stadium, Dover): drew 3-3
MD6: West Pocono (Capital Stadium): won 3-1
MD7: at Quattrablegia: won 4-2
MD8: HellHorn (The Great Dome): won 5-3
MD9: at Dorian and Sonya: lost 2-1
MD10: at Dimoniquid
MD11: Blouman Empire (Whitecliff Stadium)
MD12: at Jeruselem
MD13: St Paul’s Isle (Capital Stadium)
MD14: at Balida
MD15: at West Pocono
MD16: Quattrablegia (The Great Dome)
MD17: at HellHorn
MD18: Dorian and Sonya (Whitecliff Stadium)

by **Andrewboy** » Sat May 29, 2010 3:47 pm

Drewchester Roast
Andrewboy stay within reach

Summary
in matchday 9 of the World Cup 51 Qualifying, Andrewboy beat Iglesian Archipelago in a 9 gaol thriller at Andrewboy soccer stadium. Andrewboy needed 3 points to keep up with there opponents mid way through qualifying.

Match

Code: Select all: Andrewboy:5 Iglesian Archipelago: 4 H.Flash 20th N. Dias 26th A.Johnson 33erd J.Lopes 40th A.Johnson 73erd C.Matias 62end A.Johnson 88th C.Matias 90+2 E.Restils 90+4

It was a thrilling game. It was back and fourth and in the 20th Walsh burst down the wing, crossed it over to Borman, he hit it across and Johnson knocked it forward and Flash beat the keeper and the defenders to it to slip it home from 7 yards. The lead lasted 6 minutes as back came Iglesian Archipelago with Barbosa Santos hitting the ball forward and Nuno Dias hit the volley low into the left bottom corner from 10 yards. 7 minutes later Andrewboy retook the lead with Mikes playing a through ball and Johnson getting it, beating the keeper and side foots the ball into the open net. Another 7 minutes later Iglesian Archipelago had a penalty opportunity, slammed it against the post but Lopes but in the rebound. It went into the half at 2-2. The second half took a while to get going but when it did it was a burst. Carlos Matias found himself on the ball at the edge of the box, he faked a shot ran into the box, faked another shot, the flicked it over Mink in the 62end from 13 yards. In the 73erd Johnson came right back with dribbling past Simão Midwiersz then slamming a low shot into the right bottom corner from 27 yards. In the 88th Drama struck with Walsh hitting it forward and Johnson stopping it, flicking it up over Mariano Antunes head and slamming a volley into the top right corner from 16 yards before the ball touched the ground. The game seamed Andrewboy's but then Iglesian Archipelago equalised with 2 minutes left. Lopes flashed down the wing and hit in a cross to Matias and he rose and directed a header into the bottom left corner from 11 yards. The drama struck once again with Johnson faking out 1 defender, blasting past another and playing it through to Restils who dummied a defender and chipped it over the keeper and into the net from 17 yards. Unbelievable! Andrewboy celebrated into the night last night, tough there was no major riot.

Results and Table
Group 6
Undeadzombiee 1–1 Negative Katana
Valanora 3–1 Tretskivucia
Lithatrius 0–2 Vjiay
Andrewboy 5–4 Iglesian Archipelago
Schiavonia 3–3 Taeshan

⁠   Group 6                    P    W   D   L   GF   GA   GD  Pts 
 1 Valanora                   9    8   0   1   27   10  +17   24
 2 Schiavonia                 9    5   3   1   27   21   +6   18
 3 Andrewboy                  9    4   3   2   27   23   +4   15
 4 Tretskivucia               9    4   3   2   19   17   +2   15
 5 Iglesian Archipelago       9    3   2   4   23   23    0   11
 6 Taeshan                    9    3   2   4   16   16    0   11
 7 Vjiay                      9    3   1   5   13   17   −4   10
 8 Negative Katana            9    2   2   5   13   19   −6    8
 9 Lithatrius                 9    2   1   6   13   24  −11    7
10 Undeadzombiee              9    1   3   5   18   26   −8    6

Next Match
In matchday 10 Andrewboy will face Vjay. They will be playing at Andrewboy Soccer Stadium. Andrewboy need a good 3 points to stay within the leader.

OCC: This is for matchday 10, not the mid qualifiers

by **Somewhereistonia** » Sat May 29, 2010 3:55 pm

It was dark through that great oak door. Very dark indeed. There was no light at all; pitch black, comparatively, would have been light. Yet, despite the darkness, eyes could see as if on a clear day. Darkness yet light.

"It really is great to be home, isn't it" Bob exclaimed. "Oh sorry, forgot you lot were aliens to all this. I suppose I looked that silly when I first saw your messy old planet."

In the huge empty space, floating disks approached, disks in colours from every spectrum of light, and some that were - perhaps not part of any spectrum. Bob stepped forward, into nothingness, but his foot found one of these disks, these disks which seemed to burn so brightly, yet seemed not to emit any light at all. "Get on then, nothing to worry about, get on, get on" their odd looking guide chirped as first Skormilonski, then Taska and Larethdar stepped forward to safety. As soon as they were on the disks, the platforms whirled away, with their human, elf and Human-like cargo upon them, the platforms seemed to travel at immense speeds, blurring similar objects in the distance. Blue sparks waved overhead as the platforms moved faster, yet no pressure was felt on those on the platforms.

"That's blue-shifted light" announced Bob, pointing up "It means that we're up to speed, should be arriving soon. Tell you what though, alligators seem to love seeing it."

"Where exactly are we going?" questioned Taska, clearly still uncertain of what was going to happen.

"To a um... oh how would I translate it? central control room? It's a bit like that." Bob ansewered, now deep in thought.

"A control room for what?"

"The current trajectory of this theme of the universe."

"What?"

"Well, you see, the universe has themes running through it, like patterns. A lot of things don't follow these patterns of course and some inter-dimensional beings just mess around at random. Different planes of existence seem to have different rules, different levels react to each other in different ways, or directly contradict each other. Those times can be bloody awkward, the patterns sometimes have to change. Anyway, you lot are a part of my little pattern. Only a minor pattern, short lived by most standards, but I get to sort a few things out, pull strings this way and that. All useful stuff. It's people like me who keep the universe ticking over. If the big boys ran everything then we'd have no end of trouble. Sometimes I think they treat the universe like a game, or a set of games. Luckily their most favourite games are relatively harmless. Anyway, we're here now."

The four disks flew up and slotted into grooves in a much larger, stationary platform, surrounded by dials, monitors and just about every imaginable sort of thing that a control room might have. Hovering above the platform, glowing orbs of varying colours zipped around, firing beams of light into control panels, apparently changing things here or there, keeping things in balance.

"Now then, time to make that planet reappear with my face on... and done" Bob murmured as he fiddled with one of the panels before turning back to his guests, "Now, you lot have a purpose to fulfil. Larethdar, I need to fuse some of your DNA with Taska here, he needs to gain some longevity so that he'll still be playing for the Eagles when... things happen. Can't really say much more than this, it'll all work out when it comes to the time."

The elf, so quiet for much of the time, now stepped forward "so, I make him live longer? What do I get out of this? Will I live a shorter life?"

"You worry too much, anyway, you get to have a more sorted universe around you, you will return home a few hours late maybe, with no memory of this at all. You'll have missed a few hours, nothing important. It's not exactly as if you have a choice anyway."

"No choice at all?"

"Nope. You are required, should you resist, one of the orbs will automatically knock you out, nothing I can do about it. So if you'll just stand still for a few seconds."

"Huh?"

"Right, got your DNA, just go out of that door at the end and you'll be home, no memory."

"That's it?"

"Yes, no go on, we've got stuff to do here."

"Oh right, that door?"

"There's only one."

"Right."

And so Larethdar's journey was at an end, he returned home, with no recollection of the incident at all, he'd just returned home, nothing at all had happened, nothing except all the clocks changing five hours forward. Well, that was just odd. Nothing to ruin a day though, he did feel a bit drowsy though, had he fallen asleep? It seemed so odd to be back, but why was this even 'back', he was home, it was just odd. Odd was definitely the way to describe how he was feeling. Odd would have been an understatement for what was happening to those he was really with, just moments before.

The eyes could see nothing but emptiness, there was nothing to be seen, nothing there, vast emptiness, a vacuum. Yet there were things everywhere, all far, yet all seemed close, they came nearer. The eyes could see and they saw many things, the secrets of bygone eras, knowledge both of the known world and beyond it, the fashion of the universe came into view, it's fabric and intricacies so plain to see, everything was simple. Clarity was in this place. Clarity was what this place was. Clarity; the eyes saw it, yes, the eyes saw clarity.

by **Aguazul** » Sat May 29, 2010 5:28 pm

La Verdad

We are in trouble now

67% of fans surveyed after Aguazul's loss to The Ursine Northlands agreed that Aguazul was "in trouble now", having fallen to their first defeat in World Cup 51 qualifiers. At the halfway point of qualification, Aguazul are tied for third with Krytenia, in fourth place on number of wins.

"That's gonna be a problem," says Vela Cachon.

Aguazul were down by two after the first thirty minutes, though Emilio Guaman brought them within one after the goalkeeper barely deflected a Gunsedal Cisneros attempt. After halftime, miscommunication between Chago Villalobos and José Manuel Poblano let a forward slide in to score again, and Chale Cobarrubias' shot in minute 77 couldn't rally Aguazul to equalize.

Timoteo Bunuel claimed he "hadn't worried at all" about Aguazul's inability to beat any of four sides ranked an average of the equivalent to 158 ranks lower than them. "We were just cruising, right? Then we started to pick up steam, with the wins. Now, however, we are in trouble."

Cristian Delgado, however, assures us that things are improving. "We only had four home games in the first half, but we've got five coming up. Starblaydia only have four, I'd look for them to trail off. Last time around we qualified, remember, which means no Cup of Harmony to make smoother transitions in the rosters. It's taking a while for the squad to come together but we're doing that." General Carlos Lopez rushed to add that even if this didn't happen, the testament to free market principles displayed by Aguazul's players being drawn from disparate teams was well worth any cost.

Beto, for his part, said that "nothing was decided yet" and it was silly to trust those who claimed otherwise.

by **The Mice of Miceland** » Sat May 29, 2010 5:29 pm

Aces Pull One Out of The Deck

The Mice travelled to Krytenia in the region of Atlantian Oceania, many of the pundits were predicting a massive loss for the team with Miceland being barely able to to cut off an expected stream of goals being the offensive dynamos that the Krytenians are.

However it was a miracle of miracles, Peter YellowMouse was able to score a goal in the 5th minute from an extremely lacklustre Krytenian defence. Krytenia responded two with goals of their own in the 19th and 31st minutes and that's how it stayed for the rest of the half.

For the first 20 minutes of the match the Krytenians dominated but were frustrated in their lack of being able to get the ball past the line, this caused a rare error that the mice knew they had to take advantage of and they did. Another goal by Peter YellowMouse evened things up.

There they were coming up to the 70th minute with the scores all tied. Miceland continued to press but the Krytenian defense became like a stone wall finally showing their experience in these matters yet somehow they still weren't able to peg back a goal.

It took an amazing set piece from the corner by the Krytenians to break the deadlock and make the final score 3-2, a win for the home team in Cyan.

Miceland Police

“Well, this is it.” Detective Jack FrostMouse exclaimed as the car slowed to a standstill in front of the warehouse, just a bit past the access door. “I don't like this, I don't like this one bit. It's been abandoned for almost 30 years and the power is on. Exactly the type of place that Jigsaw would use, And why the hell am I talking to myself.”

The Detective sighed, it was a simple case, find out why there is power being used in this old warehouse, having nothing to do with the disappearance of Danielle which had metaphorically hit a brick wall and yet he had a foreboding about it, as if he could feel what was in store for him.

He got out and made his way to the door which easily opened without any application of force, magical or otherwise and strode into the wide open warehouse. All that he could see was a television plugged into a power socket. It was on he, could hear it but only the static from snow. He walked up to the TV and tried to turn it off, however instead of the expected behaviour the TV stayed on but there was something now on it.

“Ah, Detective Jack FrostMouse I have been wanting to play a game with you for some time.”

The Detective stared at the screen for a moment before responding

“And Jigsaw, I've been wanting to arrest you for a long time too.”

“Perhaps you can I'm somewhere in here... oh btw... I've left you a gift, go through that door to my left, follow one of the passageways through and you will find it, oh and btw, so you can't escape.”

The door that the detective entered slammed shut and locked itself...

“Well, I guess I have no option then.”

“That you don't” and with that the door closed and the Detective made his way back the way Danielle originally came to find the mangled corpse of Boris.

Danielle's game

That was when Danielle heard the car outside, the TV fell to static and she ran through a door on another wall of the warehouse, opened it got through and closed it just in time for a detective to open the door to the outside world and enter without him noticing her. She was scared, she felt around her and found a heavy wrench nearby she took it and held it up ready to strike should the detective made his way towards her.

He didn't but he went the other way, the way to find the body... which was almost just as bad, Danielle blamed herself for his death and her guilt was being played on, but the immedeiate threat was gone so she ran, she burst through a door fell head first down a pit. The pit was blocking the way across to another door on the side. The pit wasn't that hard to get down into, it would take a bit of effort to get up the other side but certainly do able.

She got down into the pit and almost immediately it sounded like some sort of pump had activated, there was some rattling and starting the other side the pit started to fill up with a black sludge. For black sludge it was quick for black sludge and whatever it was Danielle didn't want to touch it. She rushed to the other side, the sludge quickly approached and she barely got out... it filled up the bottom of the pit and continued to slowly rise.

She didn't want to stay to see what happened so she opened the door and kept going onwards.

World Cup 51 roleplay thread

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