World Cup 51 roleplay thread

[Kulverint]

Kulverint suffer 5-2 loss!

An appalling day for football in Kulverint was had yesterday as a 5-2 loss to The Archregimancy left them wondering how it happened. After a bad start, with a goal at minute 7, things got worse with two goals at minutes 24 & 29. The second half started better, with a Janni Milverki goal leading to another by Xixi Milverki. However, The Archregimancy fought back with two goals in the 81st and 83rd minutes leaving the score 5-2.

[Candelaria And Marquez]

It is said that in the final days of Candelaria And Marquez, everyone had bad dreams.

***

“Great big fuck-off horses, you…! Eh. I… wfst? Oh. God. You. Great.”

Some people, when waking up from a nightmare at half past three in the morning and finding themselves staring up into the greasy eyes of a small, grotesque, faintly translucent and gently pulsing goblin kneeling on their chest and fondling their ears with cold, sticky little fingers, would have the decency to scream, or at least make a half-decent fist at it. Some people, particularly in this part of the multiverse, might shut their eyes as tightly as they could possibly manage and whisper “This is not happening, this can’t be happening, this is not happening” over and over again until the dread being danced off into the night and the comforting sanity blanket of bad cheese could safely be invoked to explain away the terrible creature.

Susannah Rohaert was not ‘some people’, however, partly on account of there being only one of her, and partly on account of being generally rather unusual as Candelariasians went, and so she simply raised her right arm and gently, but firmly, knocked the creature onto the bedroom floor with a rubbery plonk.

“Oi!”

“How many times have we discussed this?” the woman groaned, dragging herself to an upright position and experimentally jabbing her feet across the carpet until they happened upon a waiting pair of slippers. “If you want something in the middle of the night, you don’t need to do… that, alright? Just… give me a poke. Or bang some pans together. Repeatedly hit me over the head with a tub of vaseline, anything.”

“Soz, mistress. It comes see nat’rul, leek.”

“If you’re going to be fully functional members of Gordbaysian society, lads, you’re going t’have to learn respect for the sanctity of others’ wishes. Or… something. God, man, it’s half past bloody three in the morning, what’s so desperate it can’t wait ‘till sunrise…?”

The svartálf remained sat in a crumpled heap at her bedside, avoiding her glance and playing awkwardly with its fingers.

“Ah cannit sa, miss. Geet an’ terrible, miss…”

“Oh, goody, we’re playing that game, wor…” Sukie frowned at him. “Wor Bobby?”

“Neet wor, miss…”

“Right… You’re too small to be Wor Jackie, and I’m pretty sure Wor Alan’s green for most of late Spring…”

“An’ reet fetchin’ he looks too, an’ aaal.”

“Wor Stanley?”

“Nar na. He says aareet, thar.”

“Wor… Kevin?”

“Oh, that ah am! The very syem!” the creature cried, brightening up momentarily before the gravity of the situation hit him anew and his face fell. He mournfully tucked his left leg behind his head, lost his balance, and collapsed into a sniffling heap.

“Oh God, it must be bad, I’ve not seen you outside the sewers for months… It’s not the sewers, is it, they’ve not flooded again?”

“Nar na! It’s see mich worse than tha’!”

“You’ve not eaten the batteries in the remote control again, have you?” Sukie ventured. “I’ve got In the Night Garden on series link, you only have to ask, day or night, but I’m not letting you people near anything electrical again, not after last time…”

“Divvint want tuh watch In the Neet Garden!”

“Oh dear,” the woman muttered, starting to fret. For the sake of something constructive to do she crossed the floor to shut the window, and absently brushed the creases out of her pyjamas. They were built upon an expansive plan, designed to display as little flesh as possible and worn principally in a certain class of daytime, family-friendly, soap opera, and even then only to help disguise unscripted pregnancies. As suitable attire for a hot May night it hardly rated highly, and she wondered vaguely why she’d opted to forgo her usual ensemble in the first place.

And, for that matter, why she was now huddling it tightly around her. Some small, rational part of her brain continued to insist that it was nothing if not a sweltering night, even without the presence of a small, hot, svartálf in her little bedroom, but it was being overruled by the rest of her brain and body, which were making covetous glances towards the dressing gown hanging on a hook by the door.

She opened the window thoughtfully, shivered as a gust of icy air blew through the curtains, and slammed it shut again.

“Cold out…”

The goblin ignored her, but hopped to its feet and opened the door on her bedside cabinet.

“Are you looking for something? Careful, don’t…! Ugh,” she groaned, and half-run, half-slid over the carpet to grab the little creature by the shoulder and drag it away. She kept a rather sharp knife in there, for one thing, for the rare instances when she got a sudden nighttime craving to dissect something, and a bleeding svartálf was not, in her experience, a happy sight.

Instead she recoiled sharply as her fingers touched the goblin’s body. “Shitting Jesus… You’re as cold as ice, what’s the matter with you!? And don’t lock yourself in my cupboard, because… Ugh. Alright!” Sukie shouted at the door as it shut firmly behind him, “You’ve got my attention! What’s going on?”

“She’s comin’ back!” the door moaned.

“Eh? Any chance you could be a tad more specific, Kev?”

“She’s comin’ ba-aa-aa-aa-ck!”

“Who, Leohi? Oh, come on, lads, this is ancient history! She’s safely locked up, she can’t hurt you, and she’s just a human in any case… I thought we’d agreed, no brooding about the past. Gordon Bay City’s independent now, and I attend two council meetings a week, and I’ve promised I’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you, and the trows have agreed to move out, and the pillywiggins are… gone, I suppose, and as for the old bitch Leohi, she can’t ge–”

“Neet hor! Divvint care abyeut hor! An’ she’s comin’ ba-aa-aa-aa-aa-ck!”

“Right! Fine. I’m not going to even try to communicate with you when you’re like this, it’s too early in the morning… You can just sit and stew in that cupboard until you’re ready to tell me what’s wrong.”

Sukie flumped onto her bed and waited a while, fiddling with her necklace.

“Well? Look, are you sure you don’t want to watch In the Night Garden?” she sighed, getting up once more and switching on the little television set perched on her desk. “Or… Ooh, look! The Great Candelariasian Cook-Off. And it’s on the Sign Zone, you lot like that, don’t you? With the woman with the flappy fingers. Come on,” she added, patting the space between her bottom and the pillow, “You come out of there, and we’ll calm ourselves down a little, and then you can tell me… No? Alright, fine, what about the football, there’s bound to be highlights of the football somewhere…”

“…oung, Nakatsuru… It’s slow, it’s ponderous, you sense they’re still very much getting into the swing of this new formation, John, as Randjelovic looses the ball, that’s careless, John…”

“Very much so John, and you can just feel the Allemali crowd getting just a little restless, this is hardly number one in the world stuff.”

“It’s not, but Panadero pleaded with us all to give it time… The question is, how much time will he give it? Twenty minutes left here, is it time for a change, time for Hamblett? Long punt up field from Archer, Young into the box… Cleared here again by Barnettsville, but it’s Young again, Nakatsuru… Just lacking the killer instinct here, and this rearguard action is paying divi… Oh, but that’s a terrible slip-up from the right-back and O’AirMEADHAIGH….!!! And THAT’S the finish we’ve all been waiting for, and it HAS been coming, John!”

“Well, brave, brave defending from Barnettsville, John, but in the end one moment, one lapse in concentration… And they will make you pay for that, John, and that’s the mark of a great side, there…”

“Confusion in the box, the visitors just couldn’t clear it, and Toirdhealbharch O’Airmeadhaigh is on hand to put it away… One-nil, it has been coming, you have to say… And C&M are back on the road to the World Cup, John!”

“Neeooo….!!! Nar na, nar na, nar na, nar na!!” the svartálf screamed, bursting through the cabinet door and launching himself at a chest of drawers. A few seconds of confused grabbling and flailing later and his hands were gripped firmly around the set, wrenching the plug from its socket with deceptive strength and flinging the doomed television at the window with an anguished cry. It bounced off the glass in a faintly disappointing fashion, and clattered onto the carpet.

Goblin and woman stared at each other helplessly for a moment on two, before Sukie sighed, walked over to the window, opened it, picked up the television set and let it tumble towards the street four floors below. Several passing pixies at ground level swore violently at her, although this may not have been connected. You never can tell, with pixies.

“There. Are we happy now?”

“Nar na. She’s comin’…”

“For the love of chastity, who is!?”

The goblin gulped, and leant forward so that their noses were almost touching. “Yeyd caal hor… wor Beatrice…”

“I don’t think I would. Don’t think I know any Beatrices. Care to explain a little further? I reckon you owe it, after that little paddy there just cost me a television.”

The svartálf shook its head. “Thor’s neet ganin’ tuh be any time… An’ it’s gettin’ chilly…”

“You’re not wrong there, it’s unseasonable… Look, who’s Beatrice, you… Oh.” She followed his expression back towards the cabinet, and the half-full glass of water sat upon it. “Really? So soon?”

Sukie picked it up, turned it upside down, and watched with quiet surprise as the contents slithered down the glass and dropped to the floor into a block and broke into a couple of pieces. The svartálf glanced at her for a second, then jumped down off the desk, hopped over to the slowly melting lumps of ice, and disintegrated into large pile of maggots.

Some people might have found this enough to turn their stomach. Some people might have shut their eyes and willed it not to be so. But Sukie Rohaert wasn’t some people, so she simply waited until the writhing mass had disappeared and only a soggy circle remained on her bedroom carpet.

And then the warm swept back through the window, flooding the room. Outside, a lone will-o’-the-wisp lit up the night, silhouetting a family of Alans in flight as they made their way home to the Dark District. The Democratic Republic of Gordon Bay City rumbled onwards to wherever it thought it was going, as though nothing strange had happened. In the general scheme of things, Sukie admitted to herself, it really rather hadn’t. But she shivered in the warmth, all the same.

***

And a few miles to the south, in the rather larger and rather older country of Candelaria And Marquez, in the rather less exotic city of Allemali, those members of the Big Blues squad still awake reflected on their last first qualifying game, and a one-nil win, and those who slept slept fitfully, and held their pillows tight, and had bad dreams.

[Catmeowland]

The Catmeowlandian team was having its last training before the away match against Rick Roll Land. The captain, Micek Driblicek was troubled. But he didn't know who to trust. Afulicek was under the influence of Necek Tofcek, Tontoncek ran away, and Zarovcek...yes! Zarovcek! Nicek Zarovcek is the Catmeowlandian fitness coach and coach Afulicek's best friend. He could do something.

"Hey, Nicek!", Driblicek greeted the coach
"Hey! What are you doing here?", asked Zarovcek
"I'm troubled.", replied the captain
"What's on your mind?"
"Coach...he's under the influence of that idiot, Tofcek."
"I know of that for a very long time, my friend. There is nothing we can do."
"You are Afulicek's best friend. Talk to him! He is not himself, and we need him."
"OK. But what if we don't succeed?"
"Then we trash Tofcek's office, find evidence and sue him!"
"Whoa, whoa!!! For what?"
"Dunno. Must be something we can sue him for..."

[Western cuba]

Western Cuba National News
Edition of World Cup 51
Sports Page Headline
Western Cuba loses in 2-4 game against Uiri!

Sports Editor
Juan Lopez

Hello this is Juan Lopez reporting in Western Cuba. Yesterday in the World Cup 51 the Western Cuban's played there first World Cup Game. Suffering a 2-4 loss to Uiri. Though the game can bring a positive vision though to us if you think of it Western Cuba. The Western Cuban National Soccer Team played poorly in the BOF ( Baptism of Fire ) finishing dead last in there group. Right now the Western Cuban National Soccer Team in there group stage is dead last but this is only one game. Also to review the offense of the Western Cuban's wasn't even that bad. Consisting of two points in the first half. However though things turned a little shaky in the second half as no goals were scored. Still two goals per game is still decent but we soccer fans expect a little better performance. As of the defense. Well they played shaky the whole game. In my opinion the only reason our defense wasn't beaten to a pulp was of luck. They were failing to win the ball and to prevent Uiri from breakaways and shots on goal. If it wasn't for the marvelous performance of the Western Cuban Goalie they might of been some how mercied ruled. To me I think we are doing decent but need some performance in two major things.

1. Conditioning

2. Defense

When I was watching the game I saw that the Western Cuban's were not playing hard enough and were lacking energy. They were being outrun and Uiri showed up to there best in that. In position time Uiri had the ball 70% of the time while we only had it for a low 30%. The shots on goal were also less than Uiri with Uiri having at least two times more shots on goal. As of defense we need to spread out but don't leave a huge gap up. While watching I noticed that the Western Cuban defense was bunched up like bumblebees. They need to spread out. The National Uiri Soccer Team could of taken many advantages. I simply cross and shot would of scored against the Western Cuban's if it wasn't for the performance by the Western Cuban goalie. Take note 3 of Uiri's goals scored against the Western Cuban's was on breakaways. Coach I hope you are listening. However though I will always be a Western Cuban Soccer Game and good luck Reds!

[Undeadzombiee]

The Zombiee’s lost 4-1 against a capable Valanora, but a deeper reason was behind the loss, than just playing a good team. They were split, nearly half and half, over the civil war. If they had played together, they might have won, but unfortunately, they weren’t.

The game started with two goals in the first half, both by Valanora, and a couple of opportunities missed by the Zombiee’s, because no one would pass to the other type of supporters. Then, in the second half, Valanora struck to make it 3-0. Finally, a pass by the neutral Creamer to Kalen, followed by a shot, made it in. Valanora scored the nail in the coffin goal with a minute left, ending the game.

One side, for the People of Hauntspot, is accusing many other non-rebels of being too thickheaded or violent to see how damaging the government is to them. They are calling others the highly offensive term, sjuc. The more active members of this group include the now-injured Klinetob, Hofer, and Nicks. Erich Kalen is also part of this group, but doesn’t blindly insult people, he actually puts up facts and evidence.

The other side, for Undeadzombiee, is accusing the rebels of being to quick to anger, and not giving the government a chance. This group is by far more peaceful, and includes Armour, McCullough, and El Bailido. They are supported publically by the government, but are under severe threats by the rebels, and heavy guard.

Here is a report on what is going on back in Undeadzombiee:

So far, the rebels have taken over Manningtown completely, and have Hauntspot secured. They are moving towards Great and Lesser Bone. This is very dangerous, and police are digging in.

The army is slowly being deployed, and right now roughly 100,000 are ready to fight. They are outnumbered 15-1, though, and are activating draft laws, and martial law. The country is in lockdown mode, and anyone caught coming in will have either their passport, or citizenship revoked!

[Uiri]

Uiri tops Western Cuba; Peisandros is next

The Uiric team managed a 4-2 victory over the nation of Western cuba. Both Danra and Zul managed to score but by the end of half time it was 2-2. Changes in the defense strategy by Vargas managed to save the Uiric team from further goals. Both the coach, manager and players came out of the match feeling good. The fact that for once one of the higher ranked teams is toward the start of the schedule means that Uiri's chances of qualifying won't be down to beating a rather good team but instead they'll be knocked out early or be able to qualify with an easier victory.

After asked to comment on the team's chances against 19th ranked second seed, Barbosa Zul said that he thought that they were probably one of the better second seeds but that that wouldn't stop them from being beaten by the team, "It's definitely going to be uphill but I think we'll manage." Many fans aren't expecting much from the team in this match and some critics are saying that overconfidence might be the downfall of the national team. "The new coach can only do so much. At the end of the day, it is the players which make stuff happen."

[The Babbage Islands]

We kicked off World Cup 51 with a flourish at Capital Stadium in Charleston. Dimoniquid came to town, and a sold-out house of nearly 60,000 saw our Bumblebees win 4-0.

Solveig was dominant in net, the couple of times that the visitors got together a threat she was having none of it. Orson Cook remains red-hot, scoring twice on the day. He also put a really wicked cross into the sweet spot for Kelli Alder to score the opening goal of the match. The fourth goal went to Glen Brown on an extended possession that let us bring all six midfielders forward on the attack. It took us five shots on that series to score. Their keeper is actually quite good but his back line were outmatched and he never really had a chance at a clean catch to shut us down.

Round two means a trip to the Blouman Empire in a battle of FFBs, followed by the highly-anticipated match with Jeruselem in Gernsback.

On to league news. Belgium FC continue to be the talk of the Premier League in their first season up. They're doing more international recruiting, and the presence of five Cassadagan World Cup stalwarts like Shannon Myers in midfield and Allison Salamida in goal helps. Chip and Kirsten Woods announced four more signings -- a pair of big defenders from Androssa Se Mitrin Vega, a promising teenage winger from The Weegies, and one legend. Junior, as in Jeremy McAllister, Jr., is coming to Belgium.

When the Dancougar disaster happened, Junior's club at Sporting Lakeport ceased to exist. All of a sudden a world-renowned striker was on the market. The Newmanistan star was looking at several clubs in-country and a couple of traditional powers outside the country, but settled on Belgium FC because he likes the people and wants to lead in building a dynasty. My take is that it's a shrewd move all the way around. I can see Junior still starting in a first-division side at 40, he's that good. And his experience around the football world will reinforce the work being done with the superb young talents already on--and coming to--the club.

And no, I'm not saying this because I once dated the man. He's a great guy, we're still friends years later, but we simply were never meant to be a pair. I'm just tickled that he's joining my favourite league. I'd only be happier if he were at Dover City.

But for all that talent Belgium still lie only second in the table. Greenville Rovers reeled off seven in a row to open the year, including four successive clean sheets by Norbert Bayer between the posts. And to think he's our #2 keeper!

Smile!

---

World Cup 51 Qualifying: The Babbage Islands

MD1: Dimoniquid (Capital Stadium, Charleston): won 4-0
MD2: at Blouman Empire
MD3: Jeruselem (The Great Dome, Gernsback)
MD4: at St Paul’s Isle
MD5: Balida (Whitecliff Stadium, Dover)
MD6: West Pocono (Capital Stadium)
MD7: at Quattrablegia
MD8: HellHorn (The Great Dome)
MD9: at Dorian and Sonya
MD10: at Dimoniquid
MD11: Blouman Empire (Whitecliff Stadium)
MD12: at Jeruselem
MD13: St Paul’s Isle (Capital Stadium)
MD14: at Balida
MD15: at West Pocono
MD16: Quattrablegia (The Great Dome)
MD17: at HellHorn
MD18: Dorian and Sonya (Whitecliff Stadium)

[Andrewboy]

Drewchester Roast
Andrewboy Kick off world cup campaign
Summary:
In match day 1 of Andrewboy's qualifying campaign, Andrewboy faced off against Vijay. Ranked 222, Andrewboy were cautions as they had never before played this squad. Andrewboy were hoping for a good start, and with a group where we have a fair chance of getting through, we need every point we can to build momentum.

Game:

Code: Select all

Vjiay:2                   Andrewboy:4
Clarke 25th               Johnson 17th         
Flinchum 82end            Walsh 30th
                          Flash 59th
                          Johnson 74th


This game started off well enough, we were playing well, attacking there goal and it paid off when Walsh hit in a cross , Flash heading it towards the goal and Johnson flicking it past the keeper. But the lead only lasted 8 minutes as Andrewboy let there concentration wonder and werd sent a cutting pas through the defence to clark who finished the 1-1 easily before running of the celebrate in front of the home fans. 5 minutes later Andrewboy came right back with Johnson controling it in the box, passing out to Borman who hit it across to the left-outside of the box to Walsh who bashed it home from 19 yards in the 30th. In the second half, Andrewboy got back to business as usual with Walsh charging down the wing in the 59th, sending in a mid level cross, Johnson flicking it with his back heel to Flash who smacked it home into the bottom left corner from 15 yards. The game was out of reach when Alan Brown fouled Mikes and Johnson slammed the free kick into the top corner from 28 yards. Vjiay managed to pull one back in the 82end when Flinchum headed home a corner, but it was a constellation goal as the game was lost with Andrewboy getting a good result in Vjiay.

Group table and today’s results
Group 6
Taeshan 0–1 Negative Katana
Iglesian Archipelago 1–3 Schiavonia
Vjiay 2–4 Andrewboy
Tretskivucia 2–0 Lithatrius
Undeadzombiee 1–4 Valanora

⁠   Group 6                    P    W   D   L   GF   GA   GD  Pts 
 1 Valanora                   1    1   0   0    4    1   +3    3
 2 Andrewboy                  1    1   0   0    4    2   +2    3
 3 Schiavonia                 1    1   0   0    3    1   +2    3
 4 Tretskivucia               1    1   0   0    2    0   +2    3
 5 Negative Katana            1    1   0   0    1    0   +1    3
 6 Taeshan                    1    0   0   1    0    1   −1    0
 7 Vjiay                      1    0   0   1    2    4   −2    0
 8 Iglesian Archipelago       1    0   0   1    1    3   −2    0
 9 Lithatrius                 1    0   0   1    0    2   −2    0
10 Undeadzombiee              1    0   0   1    1    4   −3    0

next game
In matchday 2, Andrewboy face Tretskivucia. They're coming off a shock defeat of Lithatrius and are looking hot. The game will be played in Andrewboy Soccer Stadium; witch leaves Andrewboy fans hoping for a good result.

[Krytenia]

Zero Hour
By Rami Niblick in Ramusok

WE were like this, once. Slightly nervous, defensive, just starting out on the long road to the World Cup. It is many decades since our international competitive début, a draw with the long-since lost nation of Haperd, and yesterday it was our turn to be the opposition to a nation that were where we had once been: Cosumar. On their faces, pre-match, the visible signs of nerves. Here they were, wearing their team's blue and silver for the very first time, and to the side of them one of the competition's big names, albeit in an unfamiliar red and black kit. This, for all the world, was looking like the walkover most expected.

But something funny sometimes happens when you cross that white line. Sinew hardens. Minds focus. The blancmange-like will becomes like iron in the face of impossible odds. As the game began, as expected, Krytenia had the lion's share of possession, but met with a wall of Cosumar defiance. Jude Adjei-Kontoh, their goalkeeper, was on especially good form, pulling off save after save, denying Parker, then Smeaton, then Sexton...it was not looking to be the Aces' day in front of goal, and Adjei-Kontoh would be named man of the match for his efforts.

This was the story for around seventy minutes. Cosumar soaking up the pressure like the most absorbent of sponges, but limited to a few half-chances that never really tested Choi-An Sun in the Krytenian goal. Then...then something extraordinary happened. Cosumar actually took control of the game. Suddenly, it was the turn of Anthony Johnson and the back for to do some defending. The moment that almost turned the match, though, came in the ninetieth minute. With another Krytenian attack breaking down, Cosumar midfielder Irvinn Rincon sent a hopeful ball forward. Rikki Varshney collected on the left, then jinked inside past Ricky Varadero and Steve Domenico. With only Sun to beat, the striker feinted a shot, unbalancing the Krytenian keeper, but somehow managed to spoon the ball onto the crossbar with the goal gaping.

In the end, then, a lucky escape with a point in a game the Aces were expected to win comfortably; hopefully, the close atmosphere of Dereapolis' County Ground will be enough to intimidate the players of Silver Beach and get this campaign going properly.

Onward!

COSUMAR - 0
No scorers

KRYTENIA - 0
No scorers

[Pasarga]

Player Profile ~ Farkas Györffi

With Ausilio Calabrese moved to the bench for both club and country everyone expected that the attack for the Wanderers would suffer a let down. Only Samuka Szatmári had any senior level "A" appearances for the national team and even he was entering the latter part of his career. Enter into the picture Farkas Györffi from Tanrısal, who was on the World Cup 50 roster but never made an appearance. Györffi is what some may call a late bloomer, not even making it into the Tanrısal first team until the age of 24, when most other national team level players have already seen time with their country. Fortunately for Tanrısal and Györffi he made the most of the opportunity that was given to him, leading the Stein-los club to a title.

What makes Györffi special is his innate ability to find holes in the opposition's marking and his deft finishing. Farkas does not have the pace that will burn you or a shot with power that can't be stopped but his ability to find himself free of his mark for that split second for him to put his touch on the ball and clinical finishing is what has made him the most lethal striker two of the last five seasons in the Super League. The downside to this is that against teams with superior defenders, he can sometimes be nullified.

One thing that must be on the mind of Györffi as he and Pasarga begin their campaign to qualify for World Cup 51 is that due to being a late bloomer, he does not the luxury of several chances to prove his worth at the largest stage the game provides. Farkas will be 31 a week after the Final is set to be held, meaning that he at most has only two, perhaps three more World Cups if he is lucky to prove he is a stellar striker. As Calabrese can testify to, even if he is fortunate enough to make the squad at 33 and 35, that does not mean he will retain his starting position. As a result and as shown in the first matchday for the Wanderers, I expect that Farkas will do all within his power now to prove that he is one of the better strikers in the world, that he deserves his spot on the starting eleven, and that Pasarga is a footballing power that is in its ascendancy.

[Valanora]

The crystal blue water gently rolled across the grainy orange sand and retreated back into the vast and seemingly endless sea that stretched across the horizon. Orange, purple, pink, and blue clouds dotted the sky as a bright orange orb ducked beneath the horizon and the vastness of the sea. To Talthimandur Hatire, this was the most beautiful scene an elf or anyone could retire from an easy afternoon to, his own personal vision of paradise. Like all the other Vanorian elves, he had disappeared from the earthly dimension two years ago and found himself here in the Gray Havens, where paradise seemed like an understatement to describe the new world that the Vanorian elves found themselves in.

It was a paradise and their goddess had been there to welcome them all home, to the place where the elves were made by the Unspoken Ones. All had been in awe that after so many years living in the earthly realm that they had now returned to the origins. Each and every elf was then given a choice by by Elune, a choice that was most difficult some and very easy for others. All of them were given the choice of staying here in the Havens, returning to the earthly realm, or the option of ascending into the very fabric of life force that powered the universe. Thousands of the elves, particularly the clergy, decided on the last option, to ascend into this higher state, to become the essence that would help forge new life and guide the strands of fate. Millions others, especially those that had found worth in the earthly realm decided that they needed to return, to continue their presence there, teaching the humans and others races what they could.

Then there were those handful of elves that thought like Talthimandur did, that they had done enough, done what they were meant to do for the universe. Now that their task was complete, it was time for them to take their place in the Havens and live in paradise. Talthimandur could not think of a reason why any of his brothern would return to the earthly realm, where death, disease, and disaster was a regular occurrence. His ancestor, Jas Hatire, had laid down his life to protect the Vanorian elves, much like thousands of others of time, while many others perished at the whims of the universe. The Havens were a paradise and he intended to take in its grace that was their right.

Meanwhile back on the earthly realm, Valanora slowly began to be restored, and the elves returned from the Havens, ready to once again do what they could to better the other races of the realm...

[Schiavonia]

"Welcome back to World Cup Sloths on SIBN with myself Laurie Jones and Al Smith, who is down by the pitch with Kenny Sanderson IV. You there, Al?"

*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...*

"Al?"

*...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...*

"AL!!!"

"YES LAURIE?"

"GIVE THE AERIAL A BASH!"

"OK!"

*bump*

"IS THAT BETTER?"

"I'LL ONLY BE ABLE TO TELL IF YOU STOP SHOUTING!!!"

"Oh. Are we on?"

"Yes. Now is Kenny Sanderson IV there?"

"Yes he is."

"And are you going to interview him?"

"OK then. Kenny, hello."

"Hello, Al."

"Miss home?"

"Yes. It's been a long trip around the world."

"Fancy a drink or two later?"

"GET ON WITH IT!"

"There's no need to shout, Laurie. The mics are working now."

"That wasn't because of the broken mic. It was because you need to get on with it!"

"Sorry Laurie. So Kenny, Schiavonia have got off to a winning start here. Good to see the team working together well. Looks like we're ready to take on the world after a win away to a half decent outfit."

"Vjiay at home next. Should be an easy game, no?"

"Not necessarily. They looked scared in the first half against Andrewboy earlier on, but once they settled in they looked a half-decent outfit. So we're going to have to be at our best as ever."

"The kids are starting to grow up now. Are there..."

"Al, Laurie here. After all of the technology problems, that's all we've got time for."

"Two questions!?!"

"To be fair, everyone will see Kenny when we get home. So he can answer questions then."

"Oh. OK."

"And your moaning means that I don't even get to my summary."

"And yours means we don't even get to say bye!"

"Bye!"

"OI!"

[The Mice of Miceland]

It Came From Uranus


“Good game... good game mice... All of you. They're 100 bloody ranks ahead of all of you and you managed to keep them within two. That calls for a celebration, yeah?” Brain TeamMouse gave the team a pep-talk as they entered the locker room.

The team were rather disappointed in their performance, they thought they could of done much better, but they scored a goal, more specifically Richard did.. there had been a few more opportunities that both of the Strikers had opportunity for and just failed at or near the last step.

The team decided they needed a new coach, someone who would be ruthless, someone who would make them work. Make them become the best footballers the world had ever seen, Mice or not.

The one thing as magical mice they were all good at, was creation... they would fabricate their own Coach... Brain was soon going to find himself out of a job.

[Novikov]

The crowds were electrified at Stadion Ulyanova as Novikovian full-back Jozef Polzin stepped in to score a penalty kick in the 85th minute, leading to a 2-2- tie in Novikov's first ever World Cup Qualifying match against a top-50 team from Somewhereistonia. The Eagles started off strong, with forward Kazys Xentolov scoring in the 13th minute. Novikovian coach Gabčík responded by substituting out left-midfielder Michael Thomason for defensive midfielder Šimona Chmela, a strategy which had shut down the powerful Sarzonian offense just days earlier. The fast-paced Eagles continued to control the ball, however, and managed to score again in the 31st minute, with Alexis Birsa displaying incredable creativity and ball control, dribbling past Novikovian captain Miłosz Smolák and shooting wide, only to see fellow forward Wasi Tasi rush the goal to head the ball in. A disappointed Novikvian team ended the first half seemingly paralyzed, trailing 0-2. Thomason returned to play in the second half, and the Novikovians started to press their offense. Midfielder Žarko Zupan in particular started the second half with a more aggressive approach, stealing from Vytautas Törk, who appeared surprised by the speed of the Serbian immigrant. Zupan passed to Bertók Balázs, making a cut from the sidelines at the goal, to kick and score in the 57th minute. Play was back and forth, with goalkeepers Adamczyka and Hanaterisana blocking shorts from Birsa and Lech Ctvrtlanik respectively. With just six minutes left in play, Thomason carried the ball down field, passing to Bertók Balázs. Nemanja Tuták, covering Balázs, tripped the Novikovian striker as he passed, causing Balázs to sprain his ankle as he fell. Balázs was unable to continue play, and Somewhereistonian defender Nemanja Tuták received the only yellow card of the match. Polzin was called in for the resulting penalty kick, and scored to tie the game with just five remaining minutes of play.

[Inabi]

Topic: Taking victory, taking stock, and how to take the next match.

---

Welcome readers again to Voice of Reason, as we talk about taking various things for various reasons. First and foremost, I would like to congratulate the Inabian National Football Team for winning their first qualifying match on the road to World Cup 51. It was quite the exciting match, the stadium being absolutely jam packed. All 69,851 in the New Jakar Corporation Football Stadium were filled. I would know, I was right there in the trenches! Seated right next to two fat, sweaty people... Was it pleasent? No. Was it worth it? ...Yes? It's quite questionable. All I know is that I need to start saving up for some V.I.P seats. With those complaints done with, I will now return to football.

The match ended up with only one scorer, and the "Taking victory" part of the title should give away that Inabi was the one that took victory. The match ended 1-0, matching our Win-Loss record. It was a hot, humid day to play in. The weather had taken a turn for the worse at around nine in the morning, steadily increasing in temperature. All of the players were drenched in sweat, and this was before the game had even started!

Once the game started? It wasn't a pretty sight.

Huffing and puffing constantly, gasping for breath, the players ran back and forth. Substitutions had to made constantly to keep the players from passing out and to rehydrate them. The waterboy certainly earned his paycheck today.

The Head Coach kept his calm though, underneath his shaded tent, five portable fans, and ice cold beverage. He made sure that his players wouldn't give up, not taking "I'm dying of thirst!" or "It's so hot!" or even "I'm BURNINGGGGG!" for an answer! The players would go out there to play their heart out, no matter how many times they fainted.

This mind-set definetely payed off, as in the 82nd minute mark, Kim Chul-Soon gathered all the strength left in him to kick the ball for the goal! Those who were still concious cheered wildly for the Inabian team!

All in all, it was a great match. The effort of both teams were shown by the sweat, blood, and tears they shed on the field that day. Mostly sweat.

Now, for the next match.

_________________

@ Antarctistan

Alright, so we've won against Achtervolging, so a lower ranked team can't possibly be that hard... correct? I often pose these vague questions to you don't I? Just like that. But that's besides the point. Overconfidence has been the downfall for many teams. Many a great empire have fallen due to the underestimation of their opponents. You've got to weigh all your options, and stay on your toes. Watch yourselves, watch all corners, expect the unexpected. Just because they aren't ranked as high doesn't mean they can't beat you repeatedly in the face area. No siree, watch yourselves, and try to win.

_________________

We've got everything sized up, now all we have to do is wait and watch. It's all on the Inabian team now!

WORLD CUP 51 QUALIFICATIONS
MD1: vs Achtervolging [1-0 INABI] (@ New Jakar Corporation Football Stadium, Jakar - 69,851)
MD2: at Antarctistan
MD3: vs Peisandros (@ Green Crustacean Arena, Orai - 42,655)
MD4: vs Akbarabad (@ Predator Stadium, Koa - 80,198)
MD5: at Colbourne
MD6: vs Western cuba (@ Lord Protector I Stadium, Nara - 32,142)
MD7: at Uiri
MD8: vs The St Timothy Isles (@ Predator Stadium, Koa - 80,198)
MD9: at Whirl Islands
MD10: at Achtervolging
MD11: vs Antarctistan (@ Lord Protector I Stadium, Nara - 32,142)
MD12: at Peisandros
MD13: at Akbarabad
MD14: vs Colbourne (@ Green Crustacean Arena, Orai - 42,655)
MD15: at Western cuba
MD16: vs Uiri (@ New Jakar Corporation Football Stadium, Jakar - 69,851)
MD17: at The St Timothy Isles
MD18: vs Whirl Islands (@ New Jakar Corporation Football Stadium, Jakar - 69,851)

[Commerce Heights]

Matchday 2 scores are now up.

[Burchadinger]

BURCHADINGER TIMES
BURCHADINGER FIGHT BACK TO EARN 4-4 DRAW

Markus Klogh's stunning goal gave Die Adler a thrilling point against Whittoria. Dùghlas MacRath headed Whittoria in front after three minutes but Tobias Hansen rose to equalise for Burchadinger. Everton St. Croix's clever finish restored Whittoria's lead after 21 minutes and Germal Polius looked to have sealed the points with a third in the 52nd minute. Horst Feinstein's header and a Marko Autmen strike put the Burchadingans level, and after MacRath hit his second, Klogh curled in superbly two minutes from time.


Deval Enke fielded the side that beat South Norwega in a pre-qualifying friendly, with key players such as Klogh on the bench. It would be a horrible mistake. The cheers of the travelling fans were swiftly silenced as Whittoria swept into a third-minute lead, MacRath heading in Mogabi Tisson's cross at the far post. Sgàire Roideach thought he had doubled Whittoria's lead three minutes later when he rounded Burchadinger keeper Hannes Dieter to score, but the strike was ruled out for offside. Die Adler delivered a timely response to level after 12 minutes when Tobias Hansen rose above Bhaltair Tuaithael and Iàcob Alasdair Whuit to send a powerful header high beyond Dermot Mac an Fhoirbhich from Feinstein's free-kick. Whittoria looked the more dangerous side and should have restored their lead when Chad Prospere just failed to apply the finishing touch to Roideach's driven cross. But they did not have long to wait before going back in front, St.Croix beating Robinson with a neat finish after 20 minutes with the outside of his right foot after a clever ball from Prospere unlocked the Burchadingan defence. MacRath wasted a good chance to extend Whittoria's advantage two minutes before the break after Tisson robbed Autmen. The striker selfishly shot straight at Dieter despite there being many team-mates willing to accept a pass.

MacRath had been a shining light for Whittoria, and he crossed over to Polius to make it a third for Whittoria after 55 minutes when he escaped a flimsy challenge from Edwin Pedersen to score via Dieter's body. But Burchadinger were back in contention after 61 minutes when Feinstein rose above Seonaidh Ceanadach to meet Autmen's corner and send a looping header over an Fhoirbhich. The keeper produced a stunning save three minutes later to preserve Whittoria's lead, denying Markus Klogh at point-blank range after he was picked out by Feinstein's pass. Klogh had been brought on by Enke to bring Die Adler back into the game, and that, he did. It was an end-to-end affair, and MacRath almost grabbed his second with a low shot that beat Dieter but rebounded to safety off an upright. But Die Adler's all-out attacking approach paid off with 15 minutes left when Klogh's corner fell to Autmen, who fired a superb left foot drive beyond an Fhoirbhich. The Burchadingans sensed an unlikely victory, but Whittoria responded in style and the inspirational MacRath put them back in front in the 80th minute, shrugging off another weak tackle from Pedersen to beat Dieter emphatically. There was another twist after 88 minutes when a long clearance hit Whuit on the back and Klogh reacted quickly to curl a 20-yard shot past an Fhoirbhich. And in an amazing finish, an Fhoirbhich produced a wonder save from Feinstein when he looked poised to cap a magnificent match with the winner.

Critics have criticized Enke for playing a "weak" squad. Enke has retaliated, saying, "the performance of the team was very good, considering they were still young and had little experience." Its widely agreed however, that if it wasn't for Markus Klogh, Whittoria could have been celebrating all night long. The result leaves Burchadinger tied in 4th. They are 2 points behind the group leaders, The Weegies, and behind Secristan and Arroza on goal difference. 1 point behind Burchadinger are Cirona, Dennisov and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Cirona will be the next test for the Burchadingans, and this time, Enke will be sure to play the regulars. Don't forget to watch the match live on either TV1, Sports World, NSC or The World Cup Channel.

[Western cuba]

Western Cuba National News
Edition of World Cup 51
Sports Page Headline
Western Cuba wins It's first Game in WC 51!

Sports Editor
Juan Lopez

Indeed the Western Cuban's have improved in there defense and have won there first game of the World Cup in history. Take note though this is there first time in the World Cup and now the Western Cuban's are 1-0-1 in the group stages. Now the biggest differance maker in this game was the defense who played quite well in this game. Not allowing any goals against St. Timothy Isles. Which in fact once tried to invade Western Cuba but was repelled and now they are humilated even more by a shutout loss to Western Cuba. However though there is one thing to setback in this victory though. This team along with Western Cuba is seeded as one of the not so good teams in the world. Both are set at 200 however anything can happen. The Western Cuban's qualified for WBC 15 ( World Baseball Classic ) in there first try even blowing out the former champions 7-3 in one game. So in any sport on any given day anything can happen keep this in mind my fellow Western Cubans. Now reports from the Western Cuban National Soccer Organization told news reporters today that accusions against them of rumors of releasing the Western Cuban National Soccer Coach are false. This is already the 2nd time this incident has happened. As this happened after the BOF ( Baptism of Fire ). Another thing was we had an interview with Thomas White. The Western Cuban National Soccer Goalie. In two games Thomas White has one loss and one victory and allows 2 goals for game on average. 4 against Uiri and a great shutout against St. Timothy Isles.

Go to Page C2 to Continue

Juan Lopez: Hello and good day Thomas you had a remarkable game today how do you rank your performance.

Thomas White: Well Juan I think I had a great game today and I played really well but I couldn't of done it without my teamates. Especially on defense. They had a great game and were very agressive. To me they ran great and battled for the ball every time and to me they won it every time. See this is how team effort and team work works. It makes a great team. We also become great friends.

Juan Lopez: Those are some kind words Thomas now good night and have a great game tomaroww.

Thomas White: Thanks Juan you have a great day to and remember watch the game.

The Western Cuban world cup game tomaroww is going to be on WCSN. ( Western Cuban Sports Network ) So tune into channel 52. Now good night Western Cuba and let's go Reds.

[Aguazul]

La Verdad

Sluggish start at home

The national football team was held to a draw against Cosumar, both teams scoring once. Though Alvaro Sáez scored in minute 27, Shane Jestis' goal at the hour mark would give the Azure Dragons their second upset draw.

The team's new captain, Sáez slipped past Thomas Hair to convert a short pass from Gerardo Riquelme. From then on, however, the visiting defense held firm despite some Gunsedal Cisneros attempts towards the end of the half. Chago Villalobos received a yellow card for a foul on Rikki Varshney, but José Manuel Poblano cleared the Azure Dragons' next attack.

As the second half went on, Cosumar played an increasingly offensive game. Finally, Irvinn Rincon dribbled past Emilio Guaman and set up Jestis, who flicked the ball in to score. Somewhat less adventurous after that, the visitors settled for another surprising point.

Nevertheless, Aguazul are second in Group 3 with Mantwenic and The Ursine Northlands both losing. Starblaydia defeated Mantwenic to remain top, but second seeds Krytenia lost to Silver Beach, who will host Aguazul next. Cristian Delgado announced that Pedro Sanchez would start in Sergio Bustamante's place for that match.

[Landau Institute]

Landau Institute of Protection and Teaching
Department of Other Stuff
Secretary of Cards & Board Games

THE NATIONSTATES WORLD CUP TAROT
#1 - ULEK

And here we come for the second card of this curious deck inspired by this universe's biggest sporting competition. We have already taken a look at the An Egg card, and now it's time to move on to the next. As you can see, we'll be analyzing them through the number order, so you can clearly note which card is going to be the following one by taking a look at our first report, in which we showed the full list. But now to the issue. With the number one, the Ulek is a card that represents more than just a single pre-match situation. Accordingly to our studies, it represents the entire founders of the World Cup, Ariddia. Instead of just using a single character of something that would remind us or of their titles or of the fact that they created the whole competition, the "#1- Ulek" card mixes everything by being the direct reference to Ariddia. This helps us to understand more about the meaning of the card and its possible interpretations, and even to suggest that it has the number 1 exactly because of this general idea: Ariddia hosted World Cup 1, the start of the event. Therefore, this card gives an introduction to all the others. But, if it is this way, why there is the "#0- An Egg" card before? Well, we may think that the 0 may be a hint that the card is to be seen separately, without trying to force a link with the others in the NSWC Tarot, while the "#1- Ulek" one really gives a better linking with the other ones related to the World Cup... this works well by taking a look only at this card, but then looking at the others it is difficult to fully admit a historical sequence in the tarot... it doesn't exist. But even without this sequence, it is hard to not admit that there is a meaning behind the number of the Ulek card.

About the design of the card, it shows three people in curious positions, so performing the Ulek. The red and black kits of Ariddia appear there, but these are just generic players of the Rouge-et-noirs, you cannot identify any of them as someone specific. They seem to be in good mood, and each one of them is performing a different movement. Overall, the card gives the impression more of a party than of something that happens before the game, and we have used this in consideration when taking a look at the possible interpretations.

Family - the Ulek card is a card of union. Surely most people who see this card while predicting the future of his or her family issues will be satisfied, as "#1- Ulek" represents union and happiness. The usual interpretation is that the family will pass through a moment of harmony, without arguments between its members and with possibility of many commemorations. Another thing that the card may try to tell is the chance of a meeting between members of the family, especially those who doesn't see each other for a long time, to happen soon. Certainly, these are very positive things, which justifies the view that this card is very good when related to the family. But some readers comment that the "#1- Ulek" card may mean the necessity of family union during a specific moment, which can be a bad one such as illness of a member.

Finances - as said before, this card represents Ariddia, the founders of the World Cup. So, of course this will not be a good one for those expecting money and success on business. As Ariddia is not a capitalist country and is even against some of those, this card is never interpreted as the chance of winning money or improving the finances. But it doesn't mean that it is trying to tell something completely bad, not this. It may be the sign of an alliance, maybe even a society in a company, through usually the readers avoid to put this in the commercial area, saying that it is more related to personal alliances that may affect the economic situation of the person. Sometimes they also say that the card means that the person should help the others in need more, by using their own money.

Love - "#1- Ulek" is a card of friendship, not love. When the card is drawn during the predictions about romance and love, the words of the reader may not be the ones that the person is expecting. Instead of the chance to find a new love, or to be able to conquer the heart of the desired partner, the Ulek usually has the interpretation of a stable friendship with the person you love, and the fact that you won't be able to go further than that. If this situation is accepted, then all is set for a strong and lifelong friendship, which is the good side of such a prediction. There are some pervert readers that attempt to interpret this card in a different way, saying that you should look with a romantic interest at those closest to you, which sometimes end being members of your family... we do not agree with this view.

Football - the Ulek represents Ariddia and the intimidation done by the Rouge-et-noirs before the matches. So, when the card appears during the prediction of a football result, it usually indicates the prospect of a success, just like the success achieved by the World Cup founders. In a long-term interpretation, it means the possibility that your team is going to be feared in the future, and that the opponents will be intimidated at the mere name of your nation, and this will be the basis of your future success. So, "#1- Ulek" always tells something very good related to football.

Completely Unrelated Stuff - when someone wants to make a completely different analysis of this card and draws it while not thinking about anything specific, as the four themes above, the Ulek card has an entirely new meaning and unrelated to Ariddia and the World Cup. It should be seen as the necessity of the person to dance, and he or she should go to the nearest disco or nightclub in order to be satisfied.

[Tyrrin]

TYRRIN NATIONAL NEWS
A THRILLER IN REMEMBRANCE PARK
Benny Tjerd

The national team of Odinex visited Tyrrin last night, with the objective of making things exciting. At least, if this had been their objective, they succeeded. The blue and yellow took on the red and white in front of a sold out crowd at Remembrance Park, as the fans were eager for the first home match of qualification. As mentioned in my previous article, Odinex are new to the World Cup, and do not even have a domestic league, instead opting for a recreational one, from which many of their players were drawn. From the look of things, that would have to be the best recreational league in the world, as they put up quite a fight against our Stallions.

Odinex immediately came out firing, obviously with the knowledge that Tyrrin likes to take things easy in the first fifteen minutes. They played with a lot of heart, and a suprising amount of finesse. They created several chances early in the game for strikers Nando and Bernard. In the fourteenth minute, Nando managed to score on a one timer off a through ball by Regulus Clemente. The crowd groaned as it looked like we would suffer a devastating upset. Of course, it was still early in the game, and we still had a few tricks up our sleeve. In the nineteenth minute, Lorenz Raimondo beat a defender and passed the ball up to Rio Fortunado. He backheeled the ball to Willem, who took one touch and then uncorked a swerving drive into the top left corner of the goal.

The fans went wild. As you may remember (if you are Tyrrinian, you definitely remember), Willem used to play for Tyrrin Royale in the very stadium where the match was taking place. These fans dearly miss Willem, as their only opportunity to see him is when he is playing for the national team. They sometimes forget how good he is, but goals like this one are there to remind them. With the momentum now in Tyrrin's favor, they started pressing the attack a bit more. Willem had another go later on, with keeper Owen Mason barely saving another long drive. Bernard Brecht was also in the mix, but his shot went right at the keeper.

At this point, Odinex dug deep, and managed to get the ball out of their end and put pressure on the Tyrrinian defense. In the 34th minute, Scott Pierrick fouled Rorie Wheland, earning Odinex a free kick. Clemente stepped up and almost scored, but his shot thudded off the post. Unfortunately, Kegan Diniz lost his man in the shuffle, and Marcel Adlai cleaned up the rebound, putting Odinex up 2-1. The crowd groaned again, mostly because the goal put them off a chant that they had going. The half ended this way, with Montcalve berating a line judge on an offside call as he walked back to the locker room, clearly frustrated with his team's play, but deciding to take it out on someone else.

The second half started how Tyrrin wanted the first half to go, with a very slow pace. Willem was caught offside a few more times, and Montcalve yelled at the line judge some more, but that was the main entertainment. Tyrrin had most of the possession, but they were trying to play the long ball too much, and it wasn't working. Tyrrin needed to score, and quickly. Finally, in the 63rd minute, Booker worked the ball upfield down the middle, and managed to pass up to Fortunado, who once again dumped the ball off to Willem. Willem turned, but faked the shot, instead cutting hard and throwing his defender way off. He then took a touch and slotted an easy goal past the keeper.

Now the game was tied, but Tyrrin couldn't afford a tie. Wins are essential in qualification, especially against lower ranked teams. With this in mind, the team continued to press, but the Odinex defense was up to our tricks by now, and held firm against the onslaught. Over twenty minutes passed with barely a shot on goal, though Odinex didn't get any chances either. The game was winding down, with the Tyrrin fans holding their collective breath to see if the Stallions would score. A chance opened up in the 90th miunte when Raimondo was fouled by Adlai about ten yards outside the box. Willem stepped up to take the kick, with everyone certain that he would shoot. Instead, he lofted the ball just passed the defense, and on to the head of Bernard Brecht, who headed the ball into the back of the net. The fans went crazy, while also wondering why Willem didn't shoot. When asked later, he said "Because everyone thought I would. I hate being predictable."

This game certainly wasn't, as nobody predicted a 3-2 finish between these two disparate teams. Next up for the Stallions is Sibirsky, whom we will be visiting. It should be an interesting game against these staunch supporters of capitalism, who have yet to face an upper echelon team in qualification. Hopefully they don't support their football team as much as they do money, or we could be in trouble.

Email Benny Tjerd at btjerd@tnn.tyr

[Cosumar]

WORLD CUP 51: 2ND QUALIFYING MATCH
COSUMAR AZURE DRAGONS UPDATE

From the moment the groups and schedule were released, nearly every World Cup "expert" tossed Cosumar aside as a team to be trampled by the five top 100 teams in their group. As this is their first World Cup, that is hardly surprising. However, in the opening qualifying match the unranked Azure Dragons surprised the 21st ranked Krytenia team at home and pulled off an upset draw forcing a 0-0 score. Most dismissed this as a fluke-and now that Krytenia is last place in the group-it may be that Krytenia is nowhere as good as people said they were. For Cosumar's second match, they traveled to 35th ranked Aguazul for another attempt at an upset.

The game turned out to be a repeat of last week's match against Krytenia-a tight defensive game with minimal offensive play. At least, in this game Cosumar scored a goal-Shane Jestis kicked their first ever in the world cup. Once again goalkeeper Jude Adjei-Kontoh was rock solid-although in this game he gave up one goal from Alvaro Saez.

After their second draw in a row, Cosumar's record stands at 0-2-0, slipping from 5th to 7th after their daw with Aguazul. Tomorrow, they will return to Fire River Arena and take on the visiting Ursine Northlands (63rd). After forcing two top 35 teams into draws the Dragons and many fans are certain that Cosumar has a legit chance of obtaining their first WC win ever next week.

AGUAZUL: 1
scorer: Alvaro Saez
COSUMAR: 1
scorer: Shane Jestis

Interview with ST Shane Jestis
by Phillip Na'Khan

PN: How does it feel to kick Cosumar's first WC goal?
SJ: Incredible. But my ultimate goal is to get a win. We have gotten very close against two great teams.

PN: Your offense averages 0.5 goals per game. What do you think you are doing wrong?
SJ: The whole team is working to figure out better ways to get more points on the board.

PN: Your defense is playing incredible, allowing the fewest points of any team in your group. What do you attribute this to?
SJ: Coach Dunsk and his hard workhe has done to coach this team. My pal Jude has done great at goalkeeper as well.

PN: What do you think your chances of defeating the Ursine Northlands next week are?
SJ: great. We have tied two top 35 teams. I think we have a fair chance of getting a win against Ursine Northlands. However, they are a dangerous team with a lot of experience. Being home will be and advantage for us.

[Akbarabad]

Tiger Eaters begin with shock defeat at home but pull back points in their second game.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): Akbarabad began their World Cup 51 qualifying campaign with the worst possible start, a 2-1 home defeat to unheralded 96th ranked Whirl Islands. It has been a long time since Akbarabad lost to a team with such a rank, and it took a truly diabolical performance and some indifferent refereeing to earn this loss. This defeat proves once again that the AFF's decision not to schedule any friendly matches hurts the team, as they always begin under prepared and short of match fitness. Even in our last qualifying cycle where we remained unbeaten, we still started slowly, drawing three out of our first five games. The Tiger Eaters will have to wake up soon and banish such miserable performances, as this group dopes not promise to be a cake walk. Uiri have begun well and could represent a potential threat for us down the line.

The team managed to recover somewhat, with a victory at Achtervolging in our second. However, the win was anything but convincing as the Tiger Eaters failed to add to their early lead and had to be grateful to keeper Tariq Iqbal's clean sheet for denying the home side a point. Nevertheless, we are on the points board and can catch up to the leaders within a game or two providing they stumble somewhere.

The next match is a home encounter against Antarctistan and the team will be hoping to avoid any hint of our first match and put in a much more improved performance. Antarctistan have not started well and are second from bottom, thus not likely to have much confidence going into the match. Ideally we should see them of comfortably enough in order to boost our goal difference too.

Akbarabad 1-2 Whirl Islands
( Zohaib Khan 29") (Jones 57", Nicholls 68")

Achtervolging 0–1 Akbarabad
(Samin Akbar 47")

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

ROCKETS SKATE TO WIN OVER HOCKEY CANADA

Hockey Canada- Time to hit the ice, ‘eh? Well actually it will be pretty soon as World Cup of Hockey signups are underway, but going to Hockey Canada here for the second game of qualifying certainly makes you think about that wonderful game on ice. Head coach Jeremy McAllister, Sr used the game as part of his pre-game lecture telling the Rockets that they needed to play like “Broad Street Bullies” against Hockey Canada so they would not have any sort of letdown. “The Broad Street Bullies is a slang term used generally in Newmanistan to refer to hard hitting and physical hockey,” said J-Mac, “Hit him hard, hit him often so they keep hearing the imaginary liberty bell going off in their heads over and over. But it also refers to having heart and having character, something we needed to have. Hockey Canada has done this before so they are capable of the upset. They’ve beat me before. I had to make sure my team didn’t slip.” McAllister was referencing World Cup 41 there when the Rockets were in the same qualifying group with the Hockey Canada. Of course, that was a much different Newmanistan team way back then.

It was a pretty cold afternoon, but not Taeshan or Toyur-like freezing, and the Rockets played well from the start. Brian Prescott got the Rockets going with a brutal tackle on a Hockey Canada forward that had many fans holding out five fingers, perhaps forgetting for a moment that there were no five minute majors in football. One thing football and hockey have in common, is that referees will often miss calls, and here was one of them. Another is that hockey fans know what the role of agitator is, and Brian was well aware that the referee was looking in the other direction. A few minutes later, he did a similar move, in a play that would clearly be charging minor, at worse, if it were hockey, but again, nothing from the referee. Seeing his teammate have success at it Kevin McEntee laid a couple of rough tackles down on their forwards, with nothing called. Eventually after 30 minutes of clear bullying tactics by the visitors, the ref caught one from Brian Shufelt and sent him to the showers with a red card. The fans cheered, first sarcastically, and then happy to know that there team would now be playing a man up, and would for more then two, four, or five minutes.

Usually, playing a man up is an advantage, but it probably just served to get the Rockets’ focus back on playing football and trying to act like they were big bad men dressed in orange and black. It would be the visitors getting the best chances prior to halftime, and they would pick up the first goal of the game in the 38th minute. Jessica McElroy gets her name on the score sheet thanks to firing home a rebound of a shot from just outside the box by Public Enemy #1 (Brian Prescott) that deflected nicely to her off the skatefoot of a Hockey Canada defender for a shorthanded goal. The extended power play, if you will, of Hockey Canada just did not seem to get going early in the second half, as they seemed to be too cute in their attacking zone with the ball, wanting to create the perfect shot opportunity, or passing up the shot altogether to make an extra pass. The Rockets saw this, and did a good job keeping play from getting too close to Stanley Salone, their keeper, so that when shots were taken, they were actually quite routine in nature. The fans began to get antsy with the lack of a goal, and a 64th minute counterstrike by the Rockets sent many fans to the exits. Shawn O’Connell’s long ball was really meant to just be a clear, he told us, but it ended up too perfectly on Junior’s foot for us to think that it was not intended. Hockey Canada was a little flat-footed to keep up with even the 36-year old Rockets star. Junior could have kept going, but he noticed Ryan was had wide open to his right if he kept his run going. Sure to keep the play onsides, Junior’s pass to his brother was perfect, and Ryan was in alone on what puckheads would call an uncontested breakaway. Ryan went top shelf for another shorty and the Rockets were now up two goals to none. Senior made some defensive minded substitutions late in the game, and the only question was whether or not Salone could get the shutout. Unfortunately, the Rockets could not keep the clean sheet as Hockey Canada scored in the evil minute, the 87th, but there was not enough time to for them to try and tie the game. As the Rockets played effective keep away in the waning moments.

The win puts the Rockets at 2-0-0 now in World Cup qualifying, and the next game will be a home tilt against lowly-ranked Sierra Apathia in Centralia. The sky blue and white will be without the services of Brian Shufelt, who will sit out the game due to his red card here. 18-year old Brett Bailey will get in his first game (that counts, he did play in a couple friendlies). The substitute has not yet been used by Senior, but hear the offensive minded midfielder get a great chance. “I wouldn’t quite calling it the effect of saying, being down three games to none in a best of seven, changing your goaltender, then winning the next four, then going into the next series and winning the first two games, but Bailey will give our line up a jolt of excitement, for sure.”


Here at the Rocket Report, we have a bit of a back log of games that we need to bring mention to in case any of you want to do future record keeping of who scored goals and all that fun stuff.

Newmanistan 2, Hemas 0- Hemas was the laughing stock of World Cup 49 qualification, but they did play better in World Cup 50 quals. That said, it didn’t take much for them to do so. Played at Keisler Stadium, formerly known as Southport Stadium, the greatest pitcher of all time (Stacey Keisler) was very happy to see the first game played at the stadium now named for her be a shutout for the Rockets. “Fitting, isn’t it?” she told us. We couldn’t agree more. The Rockets scored both of their goals in the first half, with Ashley Nicholson getting the team going just six minutes in, and Junior adding a goal in 36th.

Newmanistan 1, Krytenia 1- With the Bird on Skates no longer being able to be contested, Newmanistan and Krytenia met out in Atlantian Oceania in the first edition of the “Cyan Cup”, in an obvious reference to the sky blue colors that each nation proudly lives by. Brianna Parrish was the goal scorer for the visitors in the friendly, coming in the 34th minute, and it seemed as if the lead was going to stand. But Damon Parker drew the Aces level very late in the game in what ended up being a very exciting game, and certainly a good preliminary match for both teams going into the World Cup. Unlike the Bird on Skates, where the Cup went to the road team in the event of a draw, no official plan for draws were made in advance.

Newmanistan 2, Tarrentum 1- It’s not particularly common for the Rockets to schedule a pre-qualifying friendly against a nation that had even played a Baptism of Fire game, but the Rockets were more then happy to accept the request seeing how successful the Tarrentum baseball team had been in the World Baseball Classic. Newmanistan did not play a single starting lineup player for the match, and even used third string keeper Dave Nelson. He allowed the first goal of the match, but the Rockets came storming back with one in the 40th from Tom Ligorski, and then early in the second (the 49th minute)with Eric Audette getting the game winner.

Newmanistan 3, Cassadaigua 0- The featured friendly was clearly the match with the defending World Cup 50 champions, only the second time the Rockets had met the defending champion in a pre-qualifying friendly (the first being a Bird on Skates match with Dancougar, pre- World Cup 47. McAllister opted to use mostly starters in this match, because there would be nothing better then a win over the Dagans to get confidence rolling for qualifying. Cassadaigua, in fairness, did not approach the game with the same level of enthusiasm, offering more of a “B” lineup. It didn’t matter, Newmanistan was taking no prisoners. Ashley Nicholson scored the first goal of the match, in the 22nd minute and Brian Prescott added a 29th minute score. Late in the game, Brianna Parrish picked up her second goal in a friendly, beating Jennifer Rowland in the 77th minute.

[Toyur]

Toyurska Sportnyhet

A DEADLY GAME TO PLAY
Bears leave it to last minute to beat Kill and Death
by Anders Alfven

MARIASTAD (TP) - Apparently the trip to the Landau Institute tought Toyur nothing as far as their performance goes, as only a late goal from Oskar Ekman spared them blushes and two dropped points as the Bears narrowly escaped with a 3-2 win over the unranked visitors.

'Poor performance all around,' said manager Toomas Ergma, clearly disappointed with his team's effort. 'Sure we got all three points, but we need to definitely get better if we're going to get out of this group. We've already lost one big one, we can't afford to drop points in other matches.'

The visitors opened the scoring after 22 minutes, which was promptly replied to by Kristofer Svensson on 27 minutes. Kill and Death went into the second half with an unlikely lead, after a sloppy Anders Eriksson fumbled a corner kick, allowing the ball to be tapped in easily at the near post at 41 minutes, sending the rain-soaked teams down the tunnel with the visitors up 2-1.

Ekman made two substitutions in the second half, taking off Mats Thorsson and putting on Jesper Silfverberg, and Mikael Lilja with a faster Andreas Ljunggren at left back. The substitutes made an immediate impact. After a neat passing sequence between Ljunggren and Ekman, Ljunggren's cross found Silfverberg across the pitch, stretching the Kill and Death defenders wide and allowing Silfverberg to find an open Eklund on the penalty spot to slot home the equaliser on 52 minutes. It appeared to be destined to a draw until Ekman's strike from 20 yards out with only 7 minutes to spare. Kill and Death never looked to be able to score any more than two goals on the night, and the match ended with a narrow 3-2 margin of victory for the Bears.

The team now travels to the jolly Westmeadow Tavern for a match with the Tavernites, who have managed to draw both games thus far in qualification. Toyur will look to end that run and stretch their own winning streak to two, and it can be found on TSTV1.