Eshialand Soccer League, Matchday 1
Buffalo Niagara FC 0–0 Pittsburgh Eagles
Cincinnati Siege 5–1 Ottawa Geese
Cleveland FC 1–0 Eshialand City Tigers
Detroit Wolves 0–0 Eshialand City Royals
Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Cincinnati Siege 1 1 0 0 5 1 +4 3
2 Cleveland FC 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
3 Buffalo Niagara FC 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
Detroit Wolves 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
Eshialand City Royals 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
Pittsburgh Eagles 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
7 Eshialand City Tigers 1 0 0 1 0 1 −1 0
8 Ottawa Geese 1 0 0 1 1 5 −4 0
Opening Day
Cincinnati Siege 5-1 Ottawa Geese
So, this was it. December 3rd, 2021. Opening day.
You, King William I, decided to go to the match being held in Cincinnati's Southern Sportsplex between the Cincinnati Siege and the Ottawa Geese, and it sure didn't disappoint in the goal-scoring department.
One of the good things about this match was Cincinnati's starting XI, which was... stacked to say the least.
GK #1 Logan MARTIN (M, 32)
LB #8 Sarah SILVER (F, 29)
RB #3 Joseph LEGAULT (M, 21)
LM #13 Jozelyn BAKER (F, 22)
CM #2 Hannah HYMAN (F, 25)
RM #4 Gary SANDERS (M, 24)
AM #12 Michael JACOBS (M, 26)
LW #23 Lucas MEILLING (M, 18)
RW #21 Jonathan HARPER (M, 27)
ST #24 Alice CARROLL (F, 22)
ST #9 Lana CHINDER (F, 27)
4 of these names had been listed to Eshialand's National Team at some point, which just seemed ridiculous, especially with some of the names... but it'd be fine. Ottawa wouldn't crack under pressure.
Until the third minute, when Alice Carroll scored. Oh... dear... 1-0 Cincinnati.
And then the 16th minute, when Lana Chinder got one off of a pass from Johnathan Harper. 2-0 Siege.
And then the 43rd minute, when Michael Jacobs scored from a pass from Jozelyn Baker... see where this is going? 3-0 Siege.
Luckily, Ottawa did get
one... when Gary Sanders muffed it up, letting the ball go to Ottawa's Jason Callahan, who shot it past Martin in the 65th... but then, Cincinnati snapped right back into reality.
Alice Carroll scored again in the 71st minute to make it 4-1, at which point, some fans just started leaving the stadium because they knew Cincinnati was going to win, and watching it wasn't fun or exciting. This was a shitshow. The whole thing was a shitshow.
Ottawa's George Johnson did have a moment in the 80th though... where he took his frustrations out on Sarah Silver, tripping her up despite the fact that he was the one who had the ball and the fact that he had better things to do... and Alice Carroll took the penalty kick. And scored it. 5-1.
This was certainly an explosive start to the league, one which hopefully wouldn't define the rest of the league... "Cincinnati Destroys Everyone" would be a tagline to remember for all the wrong reasons.
At least it wasn't one of the two matches that ended in scoreless draws... heh heh... that wasn't great... this whole experiment was going to be an utter disaster, wasn't it...