Handball World Cup 23 - Everything Thread

by **Taxonomic Kingdoms** » Fri Jun 04, 2021 1:55 am

Cornelia and the goddess of SARS were sitting on the patio doing each other's hair and chatting about this and that. They both had very long hair, Cornelia had quite a stash of styling products, and they had literally the time in the world -- so they could spend a long time just sitting around doing their hair. The valley below was blanketed with low-hanging clouds that obscured their view of Viraemia, and the air was slightly chilly. They had thick cozy shawls draped around their shoulders, and Cornelia was waxing nostalgic again about how much she missed Earthly summers.

"Why don't you go back?" SARS asked. "You would die, but then you and Magnus would be together in the Underworld."

Cornelia combed a dollop of pomade through the goddess's hair, taking a moment to think about what she wanted to say. Even though an eternity in the Virias was not much different than an eternity in the Underworld, she still had an aversion to death, and it was hard to explain why. "But then we could never come back here," she said eventually. "I would never see you again."

SARS laughed. "Would you really miss me?"

"Of course!"

"Usually mortals want nothing to do with me."

"Here or on Earth?" Cornelia asked.

"On Earth," said SARS. "How many humans do you think I meet here?"

"Well, you know us, and there are a few thousand in Viraemia. You must have met some..."

"I know you and Magnus and Fred... I try to avoid Fred."

Cornelia scoffed at the mention of Fred Oglethorpe, one of the most unpleasant people in Orthornavirae. "Fred is a barbarian!"

Many of the humans who lived in the Virias had romantic reasons for traveling there. There were couples like Cornelia and Magnus who went there so that death could not separate them. There were also several sets of same sex lovers who went there to escape from persecution by homophobic societies.

But not every story was romantic.

Fred Oglethorpe had moved to Viraemia and married a flu goddess because he could not find a human woman who wanted anything to do with him. Their children were responsible for several flu variants that had caused a public health nuisance on Earth over the last century or so. When people told him he should keep it in his pants and stop breeding new kinds of flu, he would fly into a rage screeching that women should have thought of that before they all rejected him. Even now that he was married, he tried to sleep around and he still got rejected repeatedly. Several goddesses of coronaviruses, Ebola, hantaviruses, rabies, measles, zika, polio, etc. had all turned him down. Even if their creations were stamped out of the human population by vaccinations or quarantines, that was okay, as long as they didn't have to be in a room with Fred Oglethorpe for more than 5 minutes.

Cornelia also had met Fred and turned him down, same as everyone else. "Did he really think he had a chance with you?" she said.

"Someone told him looks don't matter here, and he doesn't understand that his manners are offensive," SARS explained.

Meanwhile, Magnus was sitting in the living room reading a book called The Protocols of the Elders of Prion which purported to explain the origins of life. It was difficult reading, and the accuracy of the book was hotly debated, but since Magnus had all the time in the world, he figured it didn't hurt to read the book for himself and see what all the fuss was about. He was about 20 pages in, and so far he felt more confused than enlightened.

After a while the ladies came inside and found him puzzling over a particularly confusing run-on sentence. "What is that?" Cornelia asked.

Magnus held up the book so the ladies could see the cover.

SARS snorted. "That crap will rot your brain!"

Magnus set the book aside and changed the subject. The Marmots were going to be playing soon, their last game of the group stage. They were already guaranteed a playoff berth, but they were still playing to secure a higher seed, and it would be nice to have some momentum going into the playoffs. Their opponents were a team from Savojarna who had a history of success in past tournaments, but had not been in top form this year.

The Savojar defense seemed to have a hard time keeping up with the marmots as they scampered across the court. Some of the taller players looked like they were worried about tripping over the marmots.

The marmots were effective, and they were cute, but it all looked a little silly. Their furry bodies jiggled comically when they bounded about, positioning themselves on the court.

"You know, these games are fun, but it's hard to take it seriously sometimes," Magnus said. "I mean, just look at our team. Even when they're winning, they still look ridiculous. It would be better with a Virian team."

"We are too infectious," SARS said.

"You could just vaccinate everyone who comes to the game," Magnus suggested.

SARS shook her head. "No, it is too many people."

"It wouldn't be that hard," Magnus persisted. "Just send them the vaccine together with their tickets."

"It is too many people," SARS insisted. "We are a kingdom of viruses and we have to look out for our own creations. We can vaccinate people if we have to, but not so many people just for a game. It is too many people."

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Really Sarsi?"

"Yes, really."

by **Srednjaci** » Fri Jun 04, 2021 3:16 pm

CHANGE OF THE ENTIRE LEAGUE FORMAT !

It was stormy today at the session of the executive board of the Handball Association of Srednjaci, the association of handball clubs Master League, the presidency of the first handball league and the association of referees. By joining the autonomous province of Northern Slavonia, clubs also joined in . The handball federation had to make a decision on the future format and system of the competition. There were several options on the table, but the loudest was when it came to the strongest league, the women's Master League. Initially, there was no mention that the league should change. However, there was a reversal. The Master League will get two new clubs from next season. The number increases to 16 clubs. The system will be merciful for the last two clubs, they are relegated directly to the lower league. This outcome of the situation did not sit well with some of the members who protested violently.

"The Master League has always had some of its own standards and conditions that you have to meet to play in it. First of all you have to meet the financial and technical requirements. The club's budget has to be very good and the halls have to meet top conditions. their capacity to get a license to play. Now all of a sudden it won't be valid for two clubs ?! So how could you not be angry ?! We spent a lot of money to meet all the conditions! " Said the president of the Kings Stars club katanija.

And some others agree with this statement ...
"Club Pogratin had to take out a large loan to build a new hall. We were told that if we didn't renovate the old hall or build a new one, we wouldn't get a license for next year. But an even bigger problem is that the same rules apply if you play in which means that if we drop out of the Master League, we will not be able to play in the lower competition either, because we will not have the conditions for that. Now two clubs can play without it. "

But the president of the association, Matanović, explained to us that this is just a matter of distributing cash prizes.

"Pogratin received 8 million Dalats from league bonuses last season. The hall they are building will cost 20 million dalats. They withdrew 30% of the funds from the league fund and gave part of it in their participation. Only a small part is credit. This season they do not have a single win. in the first seven rounds.Despite that, they have earned about 2 million dalats so far.We are talking only about league premiums.Premes have increased by 30% compared to last year! given the new situation, the increase is frozen. "

REPORTER: does that mean that in the next season the budget shared by 14 clubs so far will be shared by 16?

"Exactly. That's why they actually complain the most. We understand frustrations but we have to adjust." said Matanović

We will write more about this topic later. As soon as we get the final format and look of the league, we will inform you.

SREDNJACI VS GRAENTFJALL
Vreton City

A WORD ABOUT THE HOST OF THE TOURNAMENT

These are instructions for our fans who will come to Bollonich to support our national team.
Bollonich is a country that offers a lot to explore. 90% of the population lives on the coast so your central part of the country is covered with beautiful rainforests. Vreton City is also located on the coast. Vreton City hosts our round 16 match.
It is important for the fans that Bollonich is a country that is liberal when it comes to marijuana. Alcohol is poured until 02:00. A big note that “DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE, TAKE A JOINT AND FLY”!
Transport is well organized in Bollonich and the coast is covered with beautiful beaches. You can always find some nice bay and spend the day. Vreton City has a lot of beautiful hotels that offer arrangements for fans.
If you haven’t already, it’s time to book a ticket to Bollonich!

ROUND OF 16

#1 Sarzonia vs. #16 Frestovenia
@ Celestial Gardens, Canterlot, Equestria

Sarzonia is the big favorite in this match. On the other hand, Frestovenia showed that they know how to play handball by defeating Graentfjall.
After all, they passed the group and entered the playoffs. We give Sarzonia a big advantage but Frestovenia will take every opportunity if they gets it.

#8 Hebitaka vs. #9 Bollonich
@ Celestial Gardens, Canterlot, Equestria

Hebitaka plays great handball. But Bollonich is the co host and they are tough opponents.
Hebitaka is for a shadow better team but Bollonich have a team for surprise. This match is fully open.

#4 Abanhfleft vs. #13 The Greater Nordics
@ Celestial Gardens, Canterlot, Equestria

Abanhfleft is apsolute top team in this match. For the Nordics this is end of road. Miracle must be happen to being otherwise.

#5 HUElavia vs. #12 Seguidores de la grasas
@ Celestial Gardens, Canterlot, Equestria

This should be another one way match. HUElavia is just way up better team.
But like Abanhfleft, that should be proven in the hall field.

#2 Sylestone vs. #15 Croblade
@ Vreton City State Handball Stadium, Vreton, Bollonich

Sylestone should not have problems with Croblade.
Sylestone is much better team and in our group they have a perfect score, seven of seven! Croblade is not on their hights at this moment.

#7 Srednjaci vs. #10 Græntfjall
@ Vreton City State Handball Stadium, Vreton, Bollonich
About our match we have allready talking last time.
This will ganna be very tough match for Master Bears but we think that will be in our favour in the end.

#3 Taxonomic Kingdoms vs. #14 West Phoenicia
@ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich

Taxonomic Kingdoms are one of the teams for medals on this championship.
West Phoenicia is not on that level. We play against them and easily won. Taxonomic Kingdoms should have none problems at all.

#6 Kotzellach vs. #11 Equestria
@ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich

Equesteria can beat Kotzellach. But Kotzellach is better team at this moment bit we will leave this match completely open.

We expect excitement in the sixteenth round of the playoff finals. We hope that our Master Bears will continue to be as deadly as before and that we will all look forward to the quarterfinals together!
GO MASTER BEARS! GO SREDNJACI!

by **Sylestone** » Fri Jun 04, 2021 5:59 pm

The Sylestonean > Sport > Handball > HWC 23

Hawthorns go 7-0-0, face Croblade in first knockout round

The Hawthorns have rounded off the group stage with their biggest win yet - a 33-24 win over Kriegiersien, fighting for a spot in the top three. Interestingly, this game should have been the closest of all, but the sixth-ranked side continued their form slump, racking up yet another loss as they were assured of elimination.

When the two sides were equal first after two matchdays worth of games, this match was predicted to be the one which would determine first place in the group. However, it wasn’t to be, with Kriegiersien all of a sudden dropping like a stone. Over the course of their next four matches, they could only pick up a singular point from a draw against West Phoenicia and, as a result, had to beat the undefeated Hawthorns in order to even stand a chance at making the finals.

However, you cannot accuse the Kriegiersien side of trying. They gave it their best. The part-human part-orc side, while not as weird as the Sylestonean international football team alongside others, still capitalised on the disarray of the Hawthorns as they began to work out their opponents’ tactics. However, by the time of the first intermission, Kriegiersien were 9-7 up and looking far stronger than their undefeated counterparts.

However, the Hawthorns could be forgiven. They were effectively playing the second side, with only captain Isla McCartney and Isabella Bailey of Sylestone’s typical seven on the court by the time the first whistle blew. Manager Cameron McRae and Coach Lauren Prior both agreed beforehand that there was no point in sending out the Hawthorns’ best side, rather save them for the round of 16 game. What it did do, however, was forfeit the chance at being first seed overall, instead losing that position to fellow Aussie Rules powerhouse Sarzonia.

From the very start, left back Calvin Cock was dictating the play. It was unusual for someone of his position on the court, but he was performing admirably. Hawthorn right wing Ellie McKean could not break past him. Not once. It was due to some brilliant play from Zac Radcliffe and Pat Barnsley that Sylestone were able to put seven past the orc Gugbrush by the end of the quarter. It was, however, still two less than the amount Ben Ackman let in, with Sylestonean right back Seth Bon struggling to keep Kriegiersien winger Carlos Catz in check.

At the end of the quarter, Bon was substituted off for Jonathan Younger and Kriegiersien were, expectedly, shut down. Over the course of the next quarter, they could only score four goals as the Sylestonean defence kept Catz, Wanug and Dagobert Dog away from the goalmouth far more often than not, while McKean finally began to find her way past Cock in the Kriegiersien defence. Over the course of the quarter, the Hawthorns put eight past Gugbrush as they took a 15-13 lead heading into half-time.

However, the game was still in the balance. In order to win, the Hawthorns really had to capitalise on their lead and take the game away from Kriegiersien in the following quarter before the final intermission. But they had to do it on their own merit - there was now way in hell Kriegiersien were going to let their final chance at progression to the knockout stages of the competition slip away without putting up a huge fight. And put up a huge fight they did, but by the time the final intermission came about, the Hawthorns had added seven goals to their total compared to their opponents’ five. Trailing 22-18 with a single quarter to go, Kriegiersien were not out of it just yet.

After conceding two early goals, Kriegiersien had no choice but to go on all out attack. No longer did they care about defence; they just wanted to put the ball in the back of that net as many times as physically possible. However, removing their defence meant that Sylestone’s offensive line was able to move into an ideal position to shoot for goal countless times during the last quarter. It was the Hawthorns most fruitful all tournament, scoring eleven goals to Kriegiersien’s six as they took out a 33-24 victory, thus eliminating one of the favourites from the tournament.

However, following Sarzonia’s 29-19 slaughtering of the pointless Malandrin, the Hawthorns could not take first seed overall in the knockout stages. It was only by three goals, but those three made a massive difference in the end. It would be the difference between playing against fourth-placed Frestovenia or third-placed Croblade.

So up against Croblade in the round of 16 they were. The side had come through Group A with a 4-0-3 record and just came off a comprehensive 31-23 victory against Drawkland. However, when you’re up against a side who had not dropped a single point throughout the group stage, you must be wary. Because the Hawthorns know that they are a favourite to take the title.

If Sylestone make it past Croblade, though, they will be confronted with a huge task. Their quarter-final will be against either Srednjaci or Græntfjall, both of whom have the ability to beat the Hawthorns on their day. But let’s not think about that just yet. Croblade will be formidable and Sylestone will need to play very well indeed to beat them.

Sylestone Starting Seven: Ackman; Bailey - McCartney - Bon; Radcliffe - Barnsley - McKean

Kriegiersien Starting Seven: Gugbrush; Cock - Lion - Rhino; Catz - Wanug - Dog

Goals:
Sylestone:
Radcliffe - 10
James - 6
Barnsley - 5
McKean - 4
Fosbrook - 4
McCartney - 3
Bailey - 1

Kriegiersien:
Wanug - 7
Catz - 6
Dog - 4
Gorilla - 2
Cock - 2
Lion - 2
Rooster - 1

Round of 16 Predictions

(1) Sarzonia - Frestovenia (16)
Sarzonia are only one of two sides to go without dropping points during the group stage, finishing with a 7-0-0 record in their group. Frestovenia have shown some signs along the way that they could really be contenders, such as when they beat the likes of Græntfjall, but we can only see one winner here. Sarzonia.

(8) Hebitaka - Bollonich (9)
This game is a bit tougher. Hebitaka are ranked higher, if only by the skin on their teeth, but Bollonich have proved much more adept and technically sound in their gameplay. We think it will be very close, but Bollonich will come out as victors, if only just.

(4) Abanhfleft - The Greater Nordics (13)
Coming out of their group with only a single loss, Abanhfleft come into this match as heavy favourites. However, the Greater Nordics have proven to be quite a strong side, with only a single loss across their seven games alongside four wins and two draws. Although it will be a reasonably close match, Abanhfleft should win comfortably.

(5) HUElavia - Seguidores de la grasas (12)
The HUElavians were one of only three sides to have a perfect record before the last round, where Græntfjall took out a 29-23 win over them. This means that Seguidores de la grasas have come across this mighty team at the right time, with their first loss fresh in their minds. However, we predict that HUElavia will bounce back and move into the quarterfinals with a comfortable victory.

(2) Sylestone - Croblade (15)
Our beloved Hawthorns have been pitted against Croblade, a side who only managed to scrape into the knockouts by the skin of their teeth. However, they will still be quite a tough challenge and they do have the capability to challenge the best. But Sylestone are a very, very good side and will fight until the very last second. We think that Sylestone will be able to progress here.

(7) Srednjaci - Græntfjall (10)
This is a match that should not be in the round of 16. These two sides both have the capability to take out the trophy and should only be playing each other in the quarter final or even further in. It’s even too close to predict a winner and the only thing we know about this game will be that it will come down to the very last seconds. However, if we have to pick, we think that Græntfjall’s recent victory over HUElavia will just be enough to take them over the line here. If you can’t book tickets to the Hawthorns’ match, book tickets to this one, because these two sides are guaranteed to fight out an entertaining game of handball.

(3) Taxonomic Kingdoms - West Phoenicia (14)
Taxonomic Kingdoms are one of only three teams to go undefeated through the group stage, only drawing a sole match with the Islands of Ventro. As a result, Taxonomic Kingdoms will almost certainly win this game. However, West Phoenicia are still a strong side and as they did in the first round against the Hawthorns, will keep on fighting until the very end.

(6) Kotzellach - Equestria (11)
The final round of 16 game will be between Kotzellach and Equestria. Both sides have the ability to win and take themselves deep into the knockout stages, but there can only be one winner. So who shall it be? It’s a close one, but Kotzellach seem to be slightly better than the co-hosts, only losing one game throughout the tournament, to the Taxonomic Kingdoms. If they can beat Equestria here, it will almost certainly set up a mouthwatering semifinal against the Group 5 counterparts.

And there we are! Our round of 16 predictions. That means that the quarterfinals will look like this:

(1) Sarzonia - Bollonich (9)
(4) Abanhfleft - HUElavia (5)
(2) Sylestone - Græntfjall (10)
(3) Taxonomic Kingdoms - Kotzellach (6)

Schedule:

MD1: (27) Sylestone 33-29 West Phoenicia (UR) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD2: (UR) Srednjaci 21-27 Sylestone (27) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD3: (27) Sylestone 29-22 Arjunnagar (UR) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD4: (27) Sylestone 28-22 The 14 Stars (UR) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD5: (15) Qasden 21-29 Sylestone (27) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD6: (27) Sylestone 24-21 Imperial Rifta (UR) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD7: (6) Kriegiersien 24-33 Sylestone (27) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
Round of 16: (27) Sylestone - Croblade (UR) @ Vreton City State Handball Stadium, Vreton, Bollonich

by **Bollonich** » Fri Jun 04, 2021 8:44 pm

Round of 16 Results

Match 5
Crocblade 23–27 Sylestone

Match 6
Srednjaci 24–29 Græntfjall

Match 7
Taxonomic Kingdoms 28–24 West Phoenicia

Match 8
Kotzellach 30–24 Equestria

Quarterfinal Fixtures

Match 3 : Sylestone vs Græntfjall
@Vreton City State Handball Stadium, Vreton

Match 4 : Taxonomic Kingdoms vs Kotzellach
@Vreton City State Handball Stadium, Vreton

by **Equestrian States** » Fri Jun 04, 2021 9:03 pm

Round of 16 Results

Sarzonia 27–24 Frestovenia

Hebitaka 24–29 Bollonich

Abanhfleft 29–23 The Greater Nordics

HUElavia 29–27 Seguidores de la grasas

Quarterfinals Fixtures

#1 Sarzonia vs. #9 Bollonich
@ Celestial Gardens, Canterlot, Equestria

#4 Abanhfleft vs. #5 HUElavia
@ Celestial Gardens, Canterlot, Equestria

by **Taxonomic Kingdoms** » Fri Jun 04, 2021 11:09 pm

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by **Sarzonia** » Sat Jun 05, 2021 10:35 am

Joyce Rodham was trying her best to project calm, but it wasn't working.

With five minutes left in the Round of 16 matchup between her top-seeded Sarzonian national handball team and 16th seeded Frestovenia, the underdogs were leading by one goal. Starting goalkeeper Pat Agnew got into a verbal altercation with right back Vivianne Taylor that saw Rodham raise her voice at both players to a louder decibel level than she had at any point in the entire tournament. It nearly led to a physical confrontation between Rodham and Taylor and did lead to Taylor being sent to the dressing room for the remainder of the match.

During the confrontation, assistant manager Aaron Snider drew up the offensive plans whilst Meghan Tyson diagrammed a defensive adjustment based on what she saw from Frestovenia. The team emerged from the confrontation with reserve goalkeeper Javier Lopez spelling Agnew and George Wompers in the lineup for Taylor. The energy brought by the confrontations lit a fire under Sarzonia and they rallied for four unanswered goals to wrest a 27-24 victory from Frestovenia to advance to the quarterfinals, where they will take on co-hosts Bollonich at Celestial Gardens in Canterlot.

After the match went final and Rodham briefly shook the hand of her opposite number, she jogged into the dressing room, which was uncharacteristically quiet except for one thing. Assistant manager Will Quinn was lighting into both Taylor and Agnew calling their verbal confrontation "childish and unprofessional."

Rodham said afterward that both players would be held out of the starting lineup against Bollonich, but both would play.

"If we were in a regular season or even in a group stage match, I likely would have suspended both players," Rodham admitted after the match. "We're not in a position where we can afford to do that for as much as I'd like since we're in the knockout rounds. I figure being forced to sit will get the message across."

And if it doesn't?

"Then we'll have to explore other options," she said.

As for the assistants picking up the slack whilst Rodham was dressing down Taylor, the manager said she was pleased, but, "that's why I hire them."

"I want people who can make the right decisions when I'm not around. I trust all three assistants to do that," she said.

Bollonich qualified for the knockout rounds by despetching Hebitaka 29-24 in their knockout round contest. The biggest upset was 10th seeded Græntfjall knocking out seventh seeds Srednjaci 29-24. All the other higher seeds won their matches.

by **Sylestone** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 3:50 am

The Sylestonean > Sport > Handball > HWC 23

Sylestone overcome tough Croblade challenge, move into quarter-finals

The Hawthorns have extended their win streak to a whopping eight games following an intense 27-23 victory over Group One’s third-placers in Croblade. It was one of Sylestone’s closest games so far, but like in all their others, they kept their heads and managed to come out on top. The victory set up an enthralling quarterfinal matchup with Græntfjall, who had beaten fellow group mates Srednjaci in their round of 16 clash.

It was a very close game, though. It was continually back and forth, with both sides the better at various points of the match. However, in the end, the talent and stamina of the Hawthorns was just enough to overcome the challenge put up by Croblade.

The close game could be partly put down to the change in location for the Hawthorns. While Croblade had played all of their games coming into this game at Vreton, Sylestone had played all of theirs at Karvia. Being handball, the difference is only minor, but the increasingly familiar feel of Karvia was not there to help the Hawthorns. It didn’t help that the majority of the Bollonischan neutrals were behind the underdogs - the side that had played all of their games in the city. But Sylestone were still the better side, if only just, and that was what mattered in the end.

With Isabella Bailey finally finding her feet in the outing against Kriegiersien, the Hawthorns were almost back to their original starting lineup they put forward in the game against Kriegiersien. The only difference was Zachary Radcliffe starting on the left-wing over Liam Thompson following a brilliant game against Kriegiersien. It meant that the rests acquired over the course of the group stage panned out perfectly for a full-strength Sylestonean side in the finals.

However, it was not enough to stop a tie by the end of the first quarter. Both Croblade and the Hawthorns met each other neck and neck, not letting the other gain any sort of advantage as they each scored six before the first intermission. It was brilliant gameplay, with Croblade pivot [REDACTED] scoring four of their sides’ six goals. For Sylestone, Amber James and Lachlan Fosbrook each scored two alongside Jonathan Younger and Radcliffe, who each scored one. Bianca Gotch in goals stopped four wonderful shots from the Croblade forward line, including one in the final seconds before the intermission which ensured Croblade did not take a one point lead into the intermission.

By the end of the second quarter, though, the Hawthorns had taken a lead. It was only by one point, but it was enough. Croblade’s centre-back brought its sides’ deficit down to a single goal in the dying seconds of the quarter leading into half-time. In total, the Hawthorns scored another six goals to Croblade’s five as they took a 12-11 lead heading into the break.

However, the lead did not last long. Straight after the break, Croblade shot two goals past Bianca Gotch to regain the advantage, something that they managed to maintain until the last few minutes before the final intermission. In that period, James managed to shoot three past the Croblade goalkeeper to take a 20-18 lead into the final quarter.

Croblade were still in it - of that there is no doubt. However, they had to regain that deficit, and quickly, if they were to escape the wrath of the Hawthorns. They could not. Over the course of the final quarter, Sylestone were able to maintain their lead while further expanding it. In total, the Hawthorns scored seven goals after the final intermission to Croblade’s five, as they took a 27-23 victory to move into the quarterfinals.

The result means that the Hawthorns’ next opponent will be Græntfjall - a side who have only conceded a single loss to date, against Frestovenia. They managed to defeat Srednjaci 29-24 - a margin of which is very similar to what the Hawthorns beat them by in the second round of the group stage. All signs are pointing towards an intriguing match as the two sides fight for a place in the semifinals against either Taxonomic Kingdoms or Kotzellach.

Sylestone Starting Seven: Gotch; Bailey - McCartney - Younger; Radcliffe - James - Fosbrook

Croblade Starting Seven: Unknown

Goals:
Sylestone:
Fosbrook - 8
James - 7
Radcliffe - 5
Bailey - 2
McCartney - 2
Thompson - 2
Bon - 1

Croblade:
Unknown

Quarter Final Predictions

(1) Sarzonia - Bollonich (9)
Sarzonia continued their hot streak with a 27-24 win over Frestovenia, while Bollonich defeated eighth seed Hebitaka 29-24 in their round 16 match. Despite Sarzonia being the number one seed, Bollonich will put up a fight here and may even have a shot at taking down the Sarzonians. However, it seems an unlikely prospect, as we predict a Sarzonia win, if only just.

(4) Abanhfleft - HUElavia (5)
Both of these sides have the potential to make it all the way to the final, but it seems unlikely given how stiff the rest of the competition is. Still, one of these two sides will make it to the semifinals at least, and both have experience there before. It will be a very good game, though, but we predict Abanhfleft to make it to their second semifinal in two World Cups.

(2) Sylestone - Græntfjall (10)
Ouch, tough one. The Hawthorns have not dropped points all tournament, with the closest game being the 24-21 win over Imperial Rifta. Græntfjall have lost one game and drawn two more, but they have just begun to strike form with solid wins over HUElavia and Srednjaci. We are going to make a bold prediction here - the Hawthorns shall lose their first game of the tournament in the quarterfinal to Græntfjall.

(3) Taxonomic Kingdoms - Kotzellach (6)
Ah, a Group Five rematch. Last time the two sides played against each other, Taxonomic Kingdoms won while Kotzellach suffered their only loss of the tournament to this date. It serves to be an entertaining match to wrap up the quarterfinals and the question is: Will Taxonomic Kingdoms make it two from two over Kotzellach or will Kotzellach have their revenge. After much deliberation, our team of experts at The Sylestonean have predicted the latter. Kotzellach will win. By about half a point, because that’s possible. Yep. It's possible.

This means that the semifinal matches will look like this:

(1) Sarzonia - Abanhfleft (4)
(10) Græntfjall - Kotzellach (6)

Schedule:

MD1: (27) Sylestone 33-29 West Phoenicia (UR) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD2: (UR) Srednjaci 21-27 Sylestone (27) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD3: (27) Sylestone 29-22 Arjunnagar (UR) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD4: (27) Sylestone 28-22 The 14 Stars (UR) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD5: (15) Qasden 21-29 Sylestone (27) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD6: (27) Sylestone 24-21 Imperial Rifta (UR) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
MD7: (6) Kriegiersien 24-33 Sylestone (27) @ Karvia Indoor Stadium, Karvia, Bollonich
Round of 16: (27) Sylestone 27-24 Croblade (UR) @ Vreton City State Handball Stadium, Vreton, Bollonich
Quarter Final: (27) Sylestone - Græntfjall (23) @ Vreton City State Handball Stadium, Vreton, Bollonich

by **Bollonich** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 4:16 am

The Karvian Chronicle

Sport - Hebitake defeated; Do or Die against Sarzonia

Coming into the Round of 16 fixture against Hebitaka, we had managed to rebuild our confidence after suffering two defeats to Drawkland and Libonesia. We were coming into the this game with 2 wins over us against Magnecia and Oprimide. Hebitaka however were no pushovers, they had done really well and finished 2nd in Group 4 with 11 points, losing out only to our next opponents Sarzonia. This match was queued to be an exciting game of Handball. This was also the first time Bollonich would be playing at Equestria and not at home.
The game started and both teams seemed level headed with none making any rash decisions. Goals were greatly minimised in the first quarter with the score being 4-2 with us in the lead at the end of the first quarter. The 2nd quarter greatly changed the dynamic of the game as the Hebitakans began a number of attacks often recklessly and losing possession multiple times. The Bollonischians capitalised on these opportunities putting lots of goals past their defence. Due to this sudden change in strategy by the Hebitakans Bollonich had taken a lead of 6 goals. The score standing at 16-10 at half time. Hebitaka needed a comeback to have a chance at getting their desired rematch against Sarzonia. The 3rd quarter featured a somewhat rejuvenated Hebitake tried to make a comeback could reduce the lead to only 5 goals as the score stood at 23-18. It all was coming down to the fourth and final quarter. Hebitaka had to make an impressive comeback if they wanted any hope of winning. The last quarter however didn’t go their way with Bollonich securing a hugely important win in the round of 16 with a scoreline of 29-24.
This win was a great performance from our players who showed once again what they are capable of. However in the next round against Sarzonia simply showing glimpses won’t help, we need to be consistently be at the top of our game if we are to even think about defeating Sarzonia. Sarzonia is the team that still have a perfect record of wins, and this is 8 matches into the Handball World Cup. Our chances should however be boosted by the return of Heath Adair from injury who was just cleared to participate in the remaining 3 matches. Trix Joseph after the match said that, “Todays win was an important win allowing us to advance, but we cannot stop here and neither can we get complacent. We need to continue on the path we are on. Heath’s comeback into the team will be important as he is an integral part of our set up but starting him right away might be a blunder and this decision will only be taken after further analysis on his situation.”

Sport - The Handball Cup sees change; First international players signed

The Bolllonischian Handball Cup or just the Handball Cup was a closed competition between 8 teams. Recently there have been talks about changing the format of the tournament to build international interest in the Handball Cup and get international participation and signing of foreign players. The Bollonischian Handball Federation hence recently announced amidst the 23rd Handball World Cup the changes to the current system and format which also included the new additions of two teams and a 2 legged round robin system however with both legs being held at neutral venues. The addition of two extra new teams is to provide other smaller players with options and to be have a greater number of players than we currently do either Bollonischian or from other nations. The two extra teams are respectively Maihar Lions and San Pablo Rockers.
With regard to the goal of making the Handball Cup international and the import of international Handball talents to play in the newly branded Bollonsichian Handball League. Among international signings include the signing of Sylestonean Handball World Cup Squad member Jonathan Younger who is a player with a bright future ahead of him with him making the World Cup squad at only 22 years. He was signed on a 5 year contract by Maihar Lions, this would be Maihar Lions first signing in their Handball League history and it’s a punchy one. Another international signing to have been finalised in the last week is the signing of Qusmi Pivot Alfan-Trenj Tla. They were signed by the Lagos Yetis as a way to bolster their lacking squad which finished last in the latest edition of the Handball Cup where they only scored 2 points. Alfan-Trenj is however a player in his mid thirties hence the length of time he shall be an asset to the Yetis is doubtful, however what the Yetis aim for here is immediate development or so shall be hoped. With international signings like these coming in, it won’t be unnatural to assume more signings like these shall be made after the conclusion of the Handball World Cup.

by **Kotzellach** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 4:19 am

Back in the Debating Chamber, then, and just in time for another four hours or so of debate. The Government would lay out its case for joining; and hopefully, just hopefully, Seidl would give the all-important speech which would set out why he believed joining Foxchester was the greatest thing Kotzellach could do. The Chancellor himself would not speak; instead, other members of the Party would.

The hours flew by; Baumann stayed rooted to his seat, as did Seidl; either man staring at each other. The other speakers were more noise at the moment; everyone knew who would vote for what at this point. They were, indeed, playing for time.

At last it was Seidl's turn to speak. He rose, self-confidently, put down his binder, approached the rostrum, and began.

"Mister Speaker. The arguments made for and both ratifying the Foxchester Declaration have been both convincing. But I must put it out there, for I know that many have speculated about my personal stance; I am in favour of this country ratifying the Foxchester Declaration."

Gasps throughout the Chamber, including some from his own party benches. Kurt Baumann merely smiled, and his shoulders — which he noticed had stiffened considerably — relaxed.

"I know why my statement is controversial — how could I, the Leader of the Opposition, agree with the Chancellor on anything? But it is evident, as I studied the impacts of joining Anaia on trade, immigration..."

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 11:38 am

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Hungry for Handball
with Aisling Keane

Oh, holy hell. How have we managed to pull this off? This can't be right. I was all ready to berate and lament this team after the loss against Bollonich. Everything was looking like it was going to be "that" kind of group stage again. And then all sorts of craziness started happening. I'm of course talking about our 32-21 win over Drawkland. I know it's already been a few days since that game, and we're already in the quarterfinals at this point, but I still just can't freaking get over how we managed to pull off that kind of bullshittery. We're usually on the other hand of those kinds of games. I'm just not used to us being the one to give those out. Never mind that the lads and lasses got a bit overconfident after that and let Libonesia and Magnecia get a bit closer than we really should have let them. But who cares? We're through to the playoffs!

Well, I shouldn't be that excited just yet. The Greater Nordics haven't been making a lot of waves in the whole multiverse with regards to their sporting contributions, but handball seems to be the one sport that they love to focus on, and well, the results are obvious. They're in the playoffs as well, and they're up against us. This was never going to be easy. There's no chance of this becoming a cake walk like what happened with Drawkland. Predictions said that we were the favorites, which by this moment you just know is just the code word for the sporting gods to surprise us with the Cinderella story upset. It would be just typical Abanhfleft. Oversell and underdeliver. Start the hype train with the blowout win over Drawkland and then start showing cracks by letting Libonesia and Magnecia get close. And then, boom! Eleven goals from Adonis Vinson. Eight goals from Karly Cramer. The best defensive game that Laquanda Drapeau's ever played so far. The Greater Nordics kept at arm's length throughout the game. What a job these bastards pulled off!

But now the question is: can we pull it off against HUElavia? Some of my cousins are having Verbergerkinnh flashbacks right now at jut the mere mention of HUElavia. Shit, even the Man from Markovsky is crying. It's no secret that Abanhfleft is literally bipolar when it comes to HUElavia; we never know if we're going to be favorites against them or underdogs. Either we smash them or they smash us. There's no middle ground. Either way, this quarterfinal is going to be an absolute shitshow no matter who wins or loses. Although I suspect that I will definitely make a shitshow of my own if we get boomed by the boys in yellow like what happened in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy. Or whatever that's called. You know what I'm talking about. Cheers, I just made the Man from Markovsky cry again. Gotta serve him another pint just to calm him down. Let's just see what happens next.

by **HUElavia** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 1:58 pm

Familiar Foes

HUElavia cruises their way into the Quarter-Finals, taking on a familiar opponent in Abanhfleft.

Throughout this tournament, HUElavia has shown that they are a force to be reckoned with in Handball. Compared to the cinderella run 4 years ago, the team was more mature and a feared opponent among others, despite the fact that it was the first time HUElavia participated in the Handball World Cup. HUElavia (4) was placed in Group 2, with the likes of Frestovenia (UR), Castlelobruxo (UR), Ethane (17), The Greater Nordics (54), Græntfjall (23), Alezian Union (UR), and Suimede (UR). HUElavia went on a near sweep with the group, winning all but their final group match of Graentfjall. With a 6-0-1 record and 12 Points, HUElavia was seeded into the Round-of-16 as a #5 seed, taking on the #12 Seguidores de la grasas, playing in Equestria. It was a tight affair, but the team held through and won 29-27.

Now, the team plays against a growing rival in the Multiverse: #4 Abanhfleft. These two have met each other in a variety of sports, and each time they've met, it's always one for both teams to agonize, with the final pain being inflicted to either team. The team continues to train and study film for their match against Abanhfleft, with the fans now really flying into Equestria, wanting to watch the match. For both of these teams, a spot in the Final Four of Handball is on the line, with the loser having a one-way ticket back home. Surely enough, this is the most appetizing match of the Quarter-Finals. Here's to what can be an exciting and entertaining match.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **Graintfjall** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 7:56 pm

                               Srednjaci             24–29       Græntfjall
                               Udovičić 10          (17–15)      Jockisson 7
                               1× 6×                          3× 6×

An heroic effort from Viktorija Udovičić nearly won an enthralling, low-scoring belter for Srednjaci. Their small, fast team ran the Bouncy Wolves ragged in the first half, but the Bouncy Wolves’ superiority in size and strength told in the final analysis as Græntfjall ran out 24–29 winners at Vreton to progress to a quarterfinal against Sylestone. Jack Jockisson led with 7 goals for the Bouncy Wolves. Noah Josefsson, ankle strapped, cheered on every goal from the sideline, lifting the team ahead of flying back home for surgery and Elias Ilíasson stepped up in his place. The coming game against Sylestone’s Hawthorns – bafflingly represented by human players, for once – will once again test the extreme “big” lineup the Bouncy Wolves have favored. The two-pivot set featured against Srednjaci, with Anders Andersson and Finngeir Lucasson once more teaming up in the frontcourt, is likely to be used again.

This wraps up PHORCED-ACRONIM #018 and #005. Posted on the Græntfjaller political news blog ElectionBONK.

All the news that’s fit to BONK
Constituency Profile: Molding South

everything

so

like

any

The BONK Prediction:

And this takes care of PHORCED-ACRONIM #004, as well as putting that system to bed for now.

time

an exception

Harbinger

no one

seen in A-DDER

old

dance

I’m no longer joking

Once again, our top story on the hour. Jason Þórhallursson, Græntfjall’s all-time leading goal scorer in international football, has been detained after an altercation at the Diskó Blár Máni nightclub in Molding, Háttmark. The footballer, recently the subject of an eight-figure transfer deal in the Banijan league, is accused of shoving a photographer.

by **Bollonich** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 8:45 pm

Quarterfinal Results

Quarterfinal 3
Græntfjall 29–29 Sylestone (37–36 AET)

Quarterfinal 4
Taxonomic Kingdoms 23–24 Kotzellach

Semifinal Fixture

Græntfjall vs Kotzellach
@Vreton City State Handball Stadium

by **Equestrian States** » Sun Jun 06, 2021 10:52 pm

Quarterfinals Results

Sarzonia 25–24 Bollonich

Abanhfleft 23–27 HUElavia

Semifinals Fixture

#1 Sarzonia vs. #5 HUElavia
@ Celestial Gardens, Canterlot, Equestria

by **Sarzonia** » Mon Jun 07, 2021 5:56 am

The question after the confrontation between Sarzonian national handball team goalkeeper Pat Agnew and right back Vivianne Taylor on the players bench during the team's Round of 16 match against Frestovenia was when manager Joyce Rodham would return both players to the pitch for their quarterfinals match against co-hosts Bollonich.

No one was prepared for Rodham's answer: Never.

Rodham held both players out of the entire match, but that didn't face Sarzonia as they held off a late charge from Bollonich to defeat the Handball World Cup debutants 25-24 to advance to their first semifinals appearance since HWC 7 when Sarzonia hosted the tournament. Sarzonia's next match will be against budding multi-sport rivals HUElavia, which defeated Abanhfleft 27-23 in the other quarterfinals match at Celestial Gardens in Canterlot, Equestria.

For Rodham, the prospect of the team facing elimination without two of the normal starting seven was one she was willing to accept to get her point across.

"I made it clear to both [Agnew and Taylor] that they needed to be accountable to themselves, to me, to the team and to each other," she said. "I'm not looking for them to become best friends, but they have to work together as teammates or they can't remain on the team."

The drama overshadowed a great game by the Stars (9-0-0), who held Bollonich in check for three quarters to build up a 21-14 lead. Bollonich began a furious rally and drew the match level at 24 with 1:23 remaining, sending the Bollonischian supporters into a frenzy of excitement. They'd just witnessed No. 2 seeds Sylestone go down to defeat against 10th seeded Græntfjall and they felt that this was their time to pull off a dramatic result of their own. However, Sarzonia managed to force a turnover and Nestor Catalina fired a low shot that bounced past goalkeeper Laci Harper and into the net with 18 seconds remaining to stave off overtime and send the Stars through to the next round.

"I guess we need to learn to play close ones," reserve goalkeeper Jim Haverchuk said. He drew the start over Javier Lopez and made nine saves. "The matches only get tougher from here on out."

Rodham said both Agnew and Taylor would be back in their usual positions in the starting seven for the match against HUElavia.

"I got my point across," she said. "They saw I was serious enough to keep them both out of a match that could have eliminated us."

by **Kotzellach** » Mon Jun 07, 2021 7:23 am

Kotzellach Nationalversammlung
Parlamentsdokumentation
------------------------------------------------------
The Declaration of Foxchester

Mr. Andreas Seidl [Kotzellach City D - Bad Fuchsstadt and Greater Kotzellach]

Mister Speaker. The arguments made for and both ratifying the Foxchester Declaration have been both convincing. But I must put it out there, for I know that many have speculated about my personal stance; I am in favour of this country ratifying the Foxchester Declaration. I know why my statement is controversial — how could I, the Leader of the Opposition, agree with the Chancellor on anything? But it is evident, as I studied the impacts of joining Anaia on trade, immigration, the economy, and geopolitics — that joining Anaia is simply the only cause of action laid before us. This is not a decision laid out by ideological concerns or otherwise, Mister Speaker, as I am disappointed that several of my colleagues have attempted to reduce this debate to. Mister Speaker, I speak on this decision purely as a pragmatist, not an ideologue, and as a representative of the people of Greater Kotzellach and Bad Fuchsstadt.

Kotzellach, as I am sure many of us know — or failing that, having been lectured on that by the member sitting next to me — is a small country in a region of titans. To our south is the nation of Starblaydia, a country of 37 billion, a military hyperpower in their own right in the days of old — and who still are, today, titans in the international arena. To our east, Quebec and Shingoryeo — a nuclear-ready state, population 74 million, and a regional middle power, at the very least. Our southwest; Mertagne. Though closed off to the world, they are certainly not to be trifled with — as can be observed from the various times our trips to their coast have been met with almost equal shows of strength from the Mertagnian navy.

These are but a few of the powers we find ourselves mixing it up with in our part of the world. To say that Calania and Northeastern Atlantian Oceania are global powerhouses, an almost impossible conurbation of geopolitical powers, might still be an understatement if I were to casually mention that to my old Political Science professor in the National University of Kotzellach.

We are vulnerable, Mister Speaker. We are a vulnerable country, our existence continually existing on a knife's edge. Any drastic change in the geopolitical situation of the country will have catastrophic effects on our own, since we are but so exposed to the fire, fury and whims of international geopolitics.

But even then, Mister Speaker, it does not take a keen observer or student of geopolitics to observe that we are surrounded on all sides by Anaia. While the region is still in its infancy, and keen to gain members, both for their own strength and legitimacy in the eyes of the wider international community, we should strike while the iron is hot.

We do not know where Anaia is going from here. We do not know if one day, while keeping their conciliatory rhetoric with Atlantian Oceania even while they have not been treated with the requisite kindness or manners back, that they might change their tack and adopt an anti-Atlantian Oceania stance. We do not know if one day, despite our strident policy of neutrality in most international affairs, they may see us as just another member of Atlantian Oceania, and should one day the horns of war sound, we shall be caught up in the crossfire. This is a decision in which it is impossible to not take a side, Mister Speaker — either we stay here forever, an island in the middle of Anaia, or we join the greater whole.

Us Kotzellachians, we are averse to change — but I implore everyone to look at things from a different perspective. Joining Anaia would mean, Mister Speaker, the least amount of disruption. It is an almost ludicrous proposition when I say it, but it is how it is. Joining Anaia allows us to maintain a sense of continuity in relationships that we have built up over decades with the countries near us. There is no greater ally, Mister Speaker, than your closest neighbours — and we have nothing to lose than joining our closest neighbours in their new enterprise.

I believe my right honourable colleague from the opposite benches has already outlined several reasons why his Government has taken the stance that joining Anaia is the best course of action for our country in his speech yesterday. But I am disappointed that several of my colleagues on this side have opposed this proposal, for us to accede to the Declaration and therefore Anaia, on the grounds that this is a Government proposal.

I can understand why, Mister Speaker, why this is so. But when this matter concerns our country's survival in the future, and will have long-term effects after we are all gone from this Chamber, I cannot help but express my dismay at the casuality that some of my colleagues on this side of the Chamber have treated this. A proposal is not bad because the Government has proposed it. I disagree with the Government on a lot of issues of the day — for if I agreed with them, I would not be standing here right now. But this, Mister Speaker, is not one of those days. This issue of the day concerns our national identity. It concerns how we conduct our trade, our foreign policy, our immigration, what our identity is, how our country functions. It is a simple pragmatic decision. It is not a matter of ideology. Our future is not to be trifled with. It is not a game, Mister Speaker, of cards. It is your life and mine.

I urge all my colleagues to vote to ratify this Declaration. That is all I shall have to say, Mister Speaker.

by **Sarzonia** » Mon Jun 07, 2021 7:32 am

[OOC: This was previously posted on the IC thread on International Incidents on 1st June.]

Aboard the ISS Adamant, the pathfinder of its class of cruise- and ballistic missile-carrying battleship, steaming in international waters near the Anaian subregion, its captain Corey Winfield pored over the recent reports about the continued secession of various countries from Atlantian Oceania. He had the news reports handed him by his yeoman Keri Lundquist and grimaced.

Woodstock wasn't wasting much time ordering the people of Anaian nations to depart from Sarzonia. Even though the mass exodus had now slowed down, Kotzellach's citizens were now being readied to board aircraft coming from that country to depart Sarzonia. Meanwhile, the overwhelming majority of Sarzonian citizens in Kotzellach were also preparing to board Sarzonian aircraft for their return home.

Winfield heard a knock on his ready room door.

"Come."

In walked Lt. Commander Erin Hamilton, the executive officer of the ship. She walked in with orders from the Sarzonian admiralty.

"Captain, we've been ordered to set course for international waters near Kotzellach," she said.

"Kotzellach," Winfield said. "You think that's going to be a trouble spot?"

"I don't believe it is," she said. "Thus far, they've given no indications that they'll cause anything, other than smog levels from all their aircraft coming to Woodstock and Portland to pick up their people."

Winfield nodded. Of course, he agreed with his XO's assessment. There wasn't much of a threat from Kotzellach. He, in fact made that argument when the idea of sending a squadron there was first broached. He remembered convincing Vice Admiral Colin Fischer not to send a full squadron or involve a fifth task force. Task forces Whisky, Alpha, Tango and Foxtrot could do the job of showing the Sarzonian flag and ensuring her interests were protected. However, one thing Vice Admiral Fischer said that bothered Winfield was his assertion that they didn't need a full task force or even a squadron. They only needed one ship. Granted, the one ship had six modern 16-inch naval guns with laser sighting and drone targeting support to go along with a collection of cruise and ballistic missiles that could wipe out a country if called upon. But Winfield made his point that even one ship could still serve as a provocation.

He thought about what he was being ordered to do. To put his ship and its crew of 1,200 potentially in harm's way if Kotzellach saw a battlecruiser in international waters nearby as a direct military provocation. He looked at Hamilton and grimaced. She knew what her captain was thinking. He knew she understood it. What the hell are we getting ourselves into?

"We have our orders now," Winfield said. He stood up from his desk and walked slowly out to the bridge.

"Helm," he said, addressing Lieutenant Brad Tomlinson. "Adjust your heading to 216 degrees, to these coordinates." He handed the coordinates to Tomlinson, who gave his captain a look.

"You know the coordinates, lieutenant," he said. "Best speed."

"Aye sir," he said, suppressing a desire to give a look to his captain. No one wanted this assignment, but that didn't prevent the ship from fulfilling its orders.

by **Sarzonia** » Mon Jun 07, 2021 10:56 am

Location: International waters outside Kotzellach

"Bridge to Captain Winfield."

Winfield knew by the urgency in Lt. Tomlinson's voice what the message was going to be. He looked at the time on the digital wall clock in his ready room. It was 1339 hours. He knew the appointed hour was near, so he drew in his breath and exhaled slowly.

"Go ahead, lieutenant."

"We've reached the designated coordinates, sir. You advised me to inform you."

"Acknowledged, lieutenant. Go to yellow alert. Have all department heads meet me in the ready room. Winfield out."

"Aye, sir." Tomlinson pressed a couple of buttons at his station and then made the announcement after the boatswain's whistle sounded.

"All senior officers, please report to the captain's ready room immediately. I repeat, all senior officers, report to the captain's ready room immediately." Within moments, each senior officer was standing in front of Winfield. He looked over each one.

"CTO, what's your status?" Winfield said, addressing lieutenant Charlee Emerson, the chief tactical officer of the ship. They had a 16-year career and were well-versed in the continuing raft of new technologies being installed aboard the Adamant and other ships in the Incorporated Sarzonian Navy. They were ready if push came to shove. Their crew was ready. They made sure by running drills constantly.

"We're ready, Captain," they said. "I supervised all the day watch drills personally."

"Splendid, Charl- uh, Emerson," Winfield said before shooting an apologetic look to his tactical officer. He realised he looked embarrassed for a second longer than he should have, then quickly turned back over to the rest of the officers. Dammit, he thought, realising that he'd almost deadnamed Emerson and called them by their birth name Charles. Winfield and Emerson were friends at the Naval Academy long before they came out to him as non-binary. Even though Winfield seldom had occasion to call Emerson by their first name, he'd almost done it.

"Engineering," he said, looking over at Lt. Commander Brett Evans. "What's your status?"

"All ship systems are secured, engines purring like a kitten," he said.

"We're rigged for as silent a running as any big ship can be," Hamilton said. "We've got our eyes peeled for anything that might get in our way."

"Sounds good," Winfield said. "All right, folks. I don't want to have to give the order to fire unless we absolutely have to. Anyone else got anything?"

"Um, there's a possibility we might face Kotzellach in handball," Tomlinson said. Even though he wasn't technically a department head, he was considered senior enough by both Winfield and Hamilton that he was in the ready room with the others.

"Wait, what?"

"We're in the semifinals of the Handball World Cup," Tomlinson said. "We're the number one overall seeds. We play HUElavia in Equestria. We could play Kotzellach in either the final or the third place playoff."

"Now that would be something," Winfield said.

"Red alert! Red alert! All hands to action stations!" came the call from Lieutenant Deneyce West, the assistant tactical officer who was given the conn during the meeting. After the senior officers returned to battle stations, Winfield caught a scowl from West.

"It took a full minute thirteen seconds for all stations to report in," West told the captain. "The reporting system's been having glitches, but we were informed all systems were repaired and ready."

"That means we have to figure out if the crew's not reporting fast enough or if the systems aren't reporting the info fast enough. I thought we had that sorted," Winfield said.

Now Winfield really hoped his ship and his crew weren't going to be provocation for Kotzellach as further doubts creeped in about the ship's readiness, and about his own.

by **Graintfjall** » Tue Jun 08, 2021 4:37 pm

                               Græntfjall             37–36 (ET)      Sylestone
                               Jockisson 12          (12–11)          Fosbrook 9
                               1× 4× 1×                           2× 5×
                                               FT: 29–29 ET: 6–6, 2–1

The Bouncy Wolves’ and Hawthorns’ much anticipated clash proved worth the wait as the two sides duelled out an epic. The lead was never larger than 2 for either side, and the Hawthorns’ fast, skilful play proved a match for the Bouncy Wolves’ physical combativity – right down to the very last minute when Jack Jockisson notched a national record 12th goal. As the seconds ticked down, Jonathan Younger – who’d sent the game to overtime with a regulation time goal in the dying moments – tried to repeat his heroics with a leaping effort but was stopped by Samuele Henriksson who pulled off a save using an inelegant, but effective, combination of sprawling limbs to spark jubilation on the Bouncy Wolf bench and misery among the talented young Hawthorns. It means they live to fight another day, once more at Vreton, where they will face Kotzellach for a chance at a first ever HWC final. Elias Ilíasson missed the game with a broken hand apparently sustained during the warm-up and will be out for the rest of the tournament.

A few minutes ago…

A few hours ago…

BREAKING: Þórhallursson fails doping test

Háttmark—Jason Þórhallursson, Græntfjall’s all time leading goal scorer in international football, has been preliminarily removed from the Cup of Harmony squad following a failed drug test. Þórhallursson returned a positive ‘A’ sample for methylenedioxymethamphetamine (also known as ecstasy). He was subjected to a drugs test after being arrested under caution following an altercation at the Diskó Blár Mán in Molding, Háttmark. Although charges relating to an affray incident have already been dropped, Þórhallursson was given a routine test. Should the ‘B’ sample test positive, he is likely to face a lengthy ban from international football. Reaction from Petter Erlingsson, Steinaux captain, was swift and unequivocal, labelling the player a “disgrace” who should “never wear the blue-and-white again”.

Forsetafrú

* Græntfjall has a strong native tradition of opera, meaning some terms – such as prima donna in San Ortelian – are instead referred to exclusively in Græntfjaller language terms. Literally ‘first lady’.
** Þórhallursson’s transfer fee was listed as 12.5 million in NS$, which converts at this time to a little over 15m kr.
*** Highly realistic as this dialogue is, it’s not actually right. It’s 2 goals to 1 red card. Which is still not great…

by **Bollonich** » Tue Jun 08, 2021 8:18 pm

Semifinal Results

Semifinal 2
Græntfjall 30–33 Kotzellach

Finalist - Kotzellach
3PPO - Græntfjall

by **Equestrian States** » Tue Jun 08, 2021 8:36 pm

Semifinals Result

Sarzonia 40–24 HUElavia

Final

#1 Sarzonia vs. #6 Kotzellach
@ Celestial Gardens, Canterlot, Equestria

Third Place Playoff

#5 HUElavia vs. #10 Græntfjall
@ Vreton City State Handball Stadium, Vreton, Bollonich

by **Sarzonia** » Wed Jun 09, 2021 5:59 am

This scene takes place at The Ironclad, a sports bar in Portland, Somerset, Sarzonia

Tim Kittery was sitting at the bar mindlessly watching the pre-match ceremonies for the Handball World Cup semifinal between the Sarzonian national team and HUElavia. Los Armarillos would have been considered the favourites if this tournament had gone according to ranks. They were the fourth ranked team in world team handball. They'd just defeated third ranked Abanhfleft by a four-goal margin. There was no hint of discord in the HUElavian camp among players or coaches.

Meanwhile, the Stars were 23rd ranked. They were undefeated, yes. But starting goalkeeper Pat Agnew and right back Vivianne Taylor did not get along. The two nearly came to blows on the pitch and likely would have on the substitutes' bench if not for manager Joyce Rodham. Then, in what was later revealed to be direct defiance of the Incorporated Team Handball Council's directives otherwise, Rodham suspended both players for the entire quarterfinals match against co-hosts Bollonich. The result was a much closer than expected 25-24 victory over the upstart ninth seeds and unconfirmed accounts of shouting between Rodham and her superiors at the ITHC.

The stage was set for disappointment, obviously. The expectations that Sarzonia would soon have to make the trek to Bollonich for the third place match, marking the second time the Stars would have to earn their way onto the medal stand at a team handball tournament were rampant. Sure, Sarzonia won going away against world No. 7 Equestria in Equestria, but the knockout rounds were a different animal, no pun intended.

But then the match happened. Kittery was sitting next to Dov Nelsen, who was known amongst The Ironclad regulars as a diehard handball supporter. Kittery didn't know much about the sport, but when the Stars wrapped up a 40-24 victory over Los Armarillos to clinch a spot in the final, he wanted to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

"That's a blowout, right?" Kittery asked, not sure if what he was seeing was merely his perception that the Stars annihilated Los Armarillos or if that was actually what he saw. Nelsen, realising how new Kittey was to the sport, just smiled and said, "yes."

Even in the eyes of someone who had never watched a single team handball match before, a 40-24 result in favour of the 23rd ranked team in the multiverse over the fourth ranked team was a decisive result. It was a result that ensured Sarzonia would not have to leave Equestria, as its entire knockout stage run would end up at Celestial Gardens in Canterlot. Kotzellach would have to make the trip from Bollonich for the final. HUElavia would be required to make the reverse trip out of Equestria for the third place playoff. Meanwhile, the only other team that didn't have to travel for the next match was Græntfjall, who were staying in Vreton.

Time would tell if the lack of travel and lack of need to depart the team hotel would prove to be an advantage for Sarzonia. But the fact that the Stars didn't have to pack their bags couldn't hurt.

******************************************************************************************************************************

Aboard the ISS Adamant:

Ensign Hayley Brougham was watching the tactical display for any signs of incoming warheads or potential hostiles from Kotzellach, but she was really paying more attention to the other semifinal after she'd learned that Sarzonia had already punched its ticket to the final. When she saw the score read Græntfjall 30–33 Kotzellach FULL TIME, she realised the scenario that she'd learned from a couple of other junior officers of a match between longtime Atlantian Oceania powers Sarzonia and would-be Anaian traitors Kotzellach was going to become reality.

The two countries might not meet on a battlefield with bullets, missiles, or drones flying about, but they would be meeting on the pitch to decide at minimum which team would hoist the trophy aloft for the 23rd Handball World Cup. For Sarzonia, it was their first-ever appearance in the final in this sport, even though Sarzonia were no strangers to championships and finals appearances in other sports. In just their second appearance in the semifinals, and first since Sarzonia itself hosted the seventh edition, they were first-time finalists.

Lieutenant junior grade Claryssa Hawerchuk was busy putting together the final arrangements for the viewing party for the final. It would most likely involve a skeleton crew monitoring key stations on the bridge, in main engineering and in the armory. The chief medical officer, two other doctors and a couple of nurses would be on watch in the main sickbay, but most non-essential systems would be automated. Her responsibility other than serving as an assistant director of the Department of the Quartermaster was to arrange for food service in the mess hall and in the recreation areas for events like this.

There would be pizza, enough for over 1,000 of the ship's complement. There would be wings, chips, popcorn, dips, plus various alternatives for crew who had various food allergens and dietary restrictions. It was a job she was well suited for. Lieutenant Dean Roberts approved. He was the Quartermaster, and as such was usually the only "senior" officer who didn't get called in for combat-style briefings. But this time, he was responsible for running things by the captain.

"Obviously, we'll have a hell of a time putting things away if shit gets hot," he told Winfield.

"That's a bridge we'll hopefully not have to cross," Winfield said. "For now, let's hope we can enjoy the game. I'll keep my eyes peeled on the vote in Kotzellach City."

"Aye, sir."

Winfield then made a mental note to check his briefing for the latest from Vice Admiral Fischer. It'd been a couple of days since he heard from Fischer or the Sarzonian admiralty, and that made Winfield nervous.

The waiting is the hardest part, he thought.

Meanwhile, the intrigue in the hours and days leading from the final whistles of both Sarzonia's and Kotzellach's victories was clearly going to be about much more than who wins their first-ever Handball World Cup title. It was yet another front in the cold civil war between Atlantian Oceania and Anaia. It was a battle between a Sarzonian government that just handed eviction notices to Kotzellach's civilians in Sarzonia, as well as to Sarzonian citizens in Kotzellach. It would see the ranks and rates aboard the Adamant as hopefully mere bystanders in the real battle between the two countries in this "war." It reminded people on board the ship of that old curse they'd heard somewhere.

May you live in interesting times.

by **Kotzellach** » Wed Jun 09, 2021 6:51 am

It was getting late.

The Division had been called for ten pm, as the last order of business; it was now nine forty-five. It seemed as if the entirety of the media circus had descended upon Parliament building; vans had been driven in, reporters making live reports; fitting for a momentuous occasion such as this. The whole of the country was glued to their screens, presumably.

But before that, a fifteen minute break. The atmosphere was still one of tension — Seidl could not guarantee the seventeen votes needed for the Declaration to pass. The two had not talked since their one-on-one moment during the recess, and Seidl had appropriately been swarmed by the media, clamouring for clarifications on the absolute bombshell of a speech he had dropped.

Was the entirety of the Workers' Party in support of the Declaration? Why support the Government on this controversial measure? Did he have anything to say about the Red Foxes making it to the final of the Handball World Cup, where they would play against Sarzonia?

No such questions for Baumann, who had retreated to his office in Parliament House; a small glass of whiskey while he waited for the vote that would, just two years into his Premiership, would determine its future path. If it passed — and there was a very big "if" — then his career would be saved. If it didn't, then he most likely would need to resign. While he wasn't mandated to, he'd already shown his hand — and he couldn't possibly turn up at the next Atlantian Oceania leaders' summit and expect a friendly reception. No, much better to take the heat, become the shortest serving Chancellor since one in the 50s, and retire to the backbenches.

One sip.

And even if it did pass, if they did bring the Declaration to a vote and it somehow succeeded, what guarantee was there that they would be let in? The international community really only put up with Kotzellach. They chased the money, and cared for little else; it helped in times of peace, but in times of war and strife — which were often — their failure to take a side had harmed them. It made them very little real friends; yet they had managed to not endanger their own existences in times of strife. According to a certain famous piece of classical literature, then, many of the Grand Masters of old would be doomed to the very fate of lying between heaven and hell for not taking a stand in great moral crises, merely chasing a flag for eternity; some mused that the flag they chased would be the red, gold and black of Kotzellach; such was their reputation.

Another sip.

A long, unsure voyage was on the horizon; whether they would be accepted by their brothers-to-be in Anaia was a matter of debate. Would the Ko-orenites, who'd quickly risen to become the heads of Anaia, accept them? What if they were rejected? Then they were on their own, for real this time. Halfway to Anaia, halfway from Atlantian Oceania; divine punishment, then, for taking a side too late, reparations for being neutral.

A lone wolf in the woods of international politics; beloved by none, yet shunned by all. An outcast,

One more.

The old, oaken desk had been there since 1932, from the days when Wilhelm von Kleist, the first democratically elected Chancellor of Kotzellach, had taken office; while the people had gotten democracy, only three of the twelve Kotzellachian chancellors could properly have said to have been from the people. It had been a great ruse, a great lie; democracy had just been a mask for the ilk of the Grand Masters to continue their clutch on power. A bit more inconvenient than before, definitely, and sometimes prone to failure; but for the most part, it had worked. What would his predecessors have said? What would they have urged him to do?

Last one.

The ice clinked against the bottom of the glass as Baumann got the last dregs of whisky down his throat. In the distance, a bell began to sound. It was time for a date with destiny; one that could potentially decide his career. It wasn't in his own hands, to boot; whether Seidl could get that magical seventeenth vote would prove critical for his own future, and that of the country's.

Straightening his tie, he placed the Glencairn on the table, where it landed with a resolute thunk; he strode out the door, and with it, back into the Chamber.

Into what would very soon be a new world.

by **Graintfjall** » Thu Jun 10, 2021 4:21 pm

                               Græntfjall             30–33           Kotzellach
                               Jockisson 10          (12–19)          Ackermann 7
                               4× 7×                               2× 4×

The Bouncy Wolves’ championship hopes slipped away against Kotzellach despite a valiant second half comeback from 7 down, closing the gap to just 2 before captain Mathias Ackermann slammed the door shut with the decisive goal. The Bouncy Wolves’ aggression and indiscipline once more cost them, though there were positives to be drawn from the play of Jack Jockisson and Samuele Henriksson. Nonetheless, the indistinct pleasure of playing for third place – not what the Olympic champions had come to Bollonich hoping for – will now be theirs as they face off HUElavia, better known to Græntfjaller fans from the hockey rink, for a chance at bronze.

Handball World Cup 23 - Everything Thread

In which we finally put the Bonk in BONK

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