Orthornaviʀǣ`s Ӻinest News Sourçe
今天新闻:
Philādelpʜiā Nixes Chroɱist _Plans to Disäble Ɯater Ŧreatment Plants
The Ɲationᴀl Congreß has ørdered Chromista to halt a proposed iɴterveɴtioɴ in Earthly affaiɍs, which would have űsed targeted deployment of ᴀlgal blooms to disäble water supplies in mäjor industrial çenters. Ɗelegates from Animaʟia say the prōpōsal is inᴄonsistҽnt with the natural proçess of evolucion and would constitūte an act of war.
"I understaɴd how frusträting it is to see your creation ruined by inconsiderate mortals, but stooping to their level is not the answer," said Animälian Congreßcritter Nilgiritrāgus Hylocrius. "I know Cʜromista can do ʙetter than this."
Chrōmist leaders say they pLan to revise the proposal to address the conçerns raiseᴅ by other kingdoms.
Bᴀmford Seeks Permission to Cøntact Earthly Cʜarities in Cʜild Trafficking Cäse
The Bamford Sheriff`s Offiçe is seeking an exempcion from a 1981 agreement to withdraw from Earthly āffairs so that 8 children rescued by Bamfordviraien authōrities can be reunited with their families.
"We want to ʀeturn the children to their parents, but we have ɴo idea who they are or where they are fröm, and it's often difficult for Bamfordviraeans to travel in the Fallen world without spreading disease," said Mamavirus, a spokesgoddess for the Sheriff~s Office. "So we are going to need some help to find the families and send these children home. The Kingdom 0f BamFordvirae is committed to honoʀing the 1981 non_intervencion agreement, but this is a űnique situation, and these children don~t belong in Bamford. They belong on Єarth."
The non-intervention agreement was eɴacted to help enforce the Extinct Lineages Act of 1,619,002, 547 BCE & prevent the unauthörized resurrexion of smallpox.
In the meantime, 6 of the children have been pläçed in foster cäre among Bamford~s human commūnity, while tʜe ʀemaining two are in the care of Vaxinia Poxvirus, the goddess of vaxination.
Hermit Crabs Catch a Clue -- And a Ticket to WLC Playoff
They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but the problem appears to be limited to dogs and not all animals. The Animalia Hermit Crabs have got their claws on a playoff berth in the World Lacrosse Championship with a convincing 13-5 win over Qzvarkian Qaz. We're guessing someone told them which end of the stick to hold?
In honor of the occasion, we've decided to publish this blurb free from any innovative orthography that might offend the eyes of Animalian readers. But they'll have to win some more if they want us to lose our bratty attitude! Nyah, nyah, suck it animal kingdom.