The Eagle's Cup :: X :: Rosters, RP, Scores

[Graintfjall]

So Græntfjall is having an election this summer. But wait… the World Cup is also taking place this summer! Won’t coverage of the election clash with the football results? Introducing the…

PSEPHOLOGICAL HEURISTIC ORGANIZING RESULTS CONCURRENTLY with ELECTORAL DATA for ASSESSING COMPETITIVE RESPONSES to ONGOING NATIONAL INCIDENTS MANAGEMENT

Elections are contested between competing ideologies. Passionate advocates of political causes making their causes to an informed public before uniting in a shared commitment to the wonder of democracahahaha almost made it through that with a straight face.

Lots of things impact elections. Street lights going out depress turnout. Sunny weather increases turnout. Pamphlets with totally misleading statistics, debates that consist of slanging matches won by whosoever’s voice cracks last, spoiler candidates and petty local rivalries overshadowing broader national trends. Why not football results, too?

And in Græntfjall’s case, the football results are going to directly affect – though not outright decide – the election. How does it work?

Prior to each matchday, a set of two lists of options will be promulgated. The first option will be chosen according to the number of goals scored by the home team, the second by the number of goals scored by the away team. After the matchday’s results are announced, an election report will be written up using the prompted options.

Of course the election and World Cup are [IC] months away, so there’s plenty of time to get prepared, but few chances between then and now to test the system. So for this, potentially final, last brace of games in the Eagle’s Cup, the PHORCED-ACRONIM will receive a bit of a shakedown cruise…

PHORCED-ACRONIM Test #001a

The first major scandal of the campaign will involve…

0: David Austmannsson
1: Zóphonías Juliusson
2: Sigjón Þjóðbjörnsson
3: Kaija Michaelsdóttir
4: Queen Júlíana
5+: a frog called Bert

…and a hot…

0: mic
1: man
2: woman
3: dog
4: potato
5+: chilli pepper

PHORCED-ACRONIM Test #001b

The first major endorsement of the campaign will be of the…

0: Blue-Greens
1: Left-slate
2: NDF
3: Progressive Liberals
4: Liberal-Conservatives
5+: S-E-X Party

…by a famous…

0: footballer
1: journalist
2: priest
3: member of the royal family
4: business figure
5+: frog called Bert

[Banija]

Where do Banija's best players come from? Finding Banija's hotbed requires quite a search...


Busukuma's Skyline

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- The question doesn't come up often, but when it does, it always yields interesting answers. The question is this- where do Banija's best soccer players come from?

It's not an easy question to answer. Banija, like most nations in this part of the world, is a sports-obsessed nation. To an unhealthy (or, if you talk about BMI index, very healthy) degree. At the youth level, sports participation is highly common. And most of it is done via independent clubs and schools, rather than formal academies. Academies do exist in Banija, but you've gotta be both 15 years old to enter one. So school sports are highly valued, and many students play multiple sports.

It's the only way we can crank out elite level athletes in numerous sports, like we have been doing for a number of years. But where are Banija's best soccer players coming from? Let's take a look.

The National Capitol Region

That's right- Busukuma. The most high-level youth football you'll see in the country. Rural and suburban Banija produces most of the country's gridiron players, so it makes sense urban Banija is where our association footballers come from. And you'll see this is the most true right in the nation's capitol. With the major Farf population in the City, it makes sense, but street football and street tournaments are legitimately a thing to see here. An abundance of 5v5 and street football mean many good dribblers and playmakers come out of the city.

The level of play is both high and passionate here. There's a reason that there are three professional teams that call Busukuma home- even more than Istria, a city nearly twice the size of Busukuma, and yet, only home to two professional sides. The joke is that this city's high school championship tournament is the best place to network in the sport, and honestly, the joke has some truth to it.

Herzegovina City

Another one of Banija's five cities that have over one million people. The Moravican capitol has generally extremely high sports participation rates across the board. Data from the local school district shows that the average urban high school in this city carries 21 varsity level sports teams. Absolutely ridiculous. That's what we mean by unhealthily obsessed with sport. But one of the richest places in Banija invests heavily into soccer, and the kids come. Plenty of green spaces all over the city for parks. And home, of course, to Banijan World Cup 86 winning captain, Gitonga Kahara.

The style of the game here is different than down South. Here, the game is more physical. You've got to be physically fit, and tough, to battle through Herzegovina City youth football. It'll chew you up and spit you out.

To continue reading this specialty article, SUBSCRIBE today to the All-Banija Sports Magazine at The following link

[Eagles Club]

And the final cutoff of the group stages!

And one of the craziest moments in the last decade in this sport will serve as the cutoff video.

Quarterfinal: Picture Perfect. What is the most memorable moment in this sport's history in your country? Is it your nation earning their first trophy? Is it your first World Cup Qualification? Or is it domestic, being a dramatic photo finish league title win on the Final Day? Give us all the details! The background, the moment, the emotions behind it, the memories people feel now- all the intricate beauty for your country's greatest footballing moment of all time.

Eagle's Club Group

Matchday 5
Turori 1–0 Græntfjall
Zwangzug 5–1 Valanora

Matchday 6
Græntfjall 1–0 Zwangzug
Valanora 0–1 Turori

Eagle's Club Group        Pld  W  D  L   GF  GA  GD   Pts 
1 Turori                   6   5  0  1   10   3  +7   15
2 Græntfjall               6   2  2  2    4   4   0    8
3 Zwangzug                 6   2  0  4    6   7  −1    6
4 Valanora                 6   1  2  3    4  10  −6    5

Eagle's Select Group
Matchday 5

Chromatika 1–0 Ko-oren
Omerica 2–4 Krytenia

Matchday 6
Ko-oren 1–0 Omerica
Krytenia 0–2 Chromatika

Eagle's Select Group      Pld  W  D  L   GF  GA  GD   Pts 
1 Chromatika               6   3  1  2    4   2  +2   10
2 Krytenia                 6   2  2  2    9   8  +1    8*
3 Ko-oren                  6   2  2  2    4   5  −1    8
4 Omerica                  6   1  3  2    4   6  −2    6

*= Krytenia ahead of Ko-oren on H2H wins.

Champions Group

Matchday 5
Treekidistan 1–5 Banija
Eura 0–2 Nephara

Matchday 6
Banija 2–0 Eura
Nephara 2–1 Treekidistan

Champions Group           Pld  W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Nephara                  6   5  1  0   16   2 +14   16
2 Banija                   6   3  1  2   10   9  +1   10
3 Treekidistan             6   3  0  3   15  14  +1    9
4 Eura                     6   0  0  6    1  17 −16    0

Confederations Group

Matchday 5
Cassadaigua 3–5 Tequilo
Nova Anglicana AZoE 2–2 Baker Park

Matchday 6
Tequilo 2–1 Nova Anglicana AZoE
Baker Park 1–3 Cassadaigua

Confederations Group      Pld  W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Tequilo                  6   6  0  0   25   7 +18   18
2 Cassadaigua              6   4  0  2   20  11  +9   12
3 Nova Anglicana AZoE      6   1  1  4   10  20 −10    4
4 Baker Park               6   0  1  5    6  23 −17    1

Eagle's Cup Quarterfinals
Cocoa-Bo Challenge Cup Semifinals

Turori v. Krytenia @ Kabonero III Field in Istria, Moravica(capacity of 48,000)

Chromatika v. Græntfjall @ Mugisha III Memorial Stadium in Busukuma, National Capitol Region(capacity of 49,000)

Cup of Champions Semifinals

Nephara v. Cassadaigua @ Galbécran Park in Bwubanza, Bunyoro(capacity of 40,000)

Tequilo v. Banija @ Keystone Stadium in Sisonke, Kitara(capacity of 47,000)

[Graintfjall]

Turori – 1 (1)

Græntfjall – 0 (0)
Bergmundursdóttir; Vilbertsdóttir, Björnsdóttir, Audunsdóttir (77’ Hagalínsdóttir ), Philipsdóttir; Kristoffersdóttir, Guttisdóttir, Aðalsteinnsdóttir, Mensdóttir (69’ Hólmarsdóttir ); Dannysdóttir; Jonathansdóttir (69’ Wolfgangsdóttir )

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Græntfjall – 1 (0)
Bergmundursdóttir; Vilbertsdóttir, Hagalínsdóttir, Vilmarsdóttir, Philipsdóttir (88’ Mensdóttir ); Bjarnfinnursdóttir, Guttisdóttir (53’) (58’ Aðalsteinnsdóttir ), Kristoffersdóttir, Hólmarsdóttir; Dannysdóttir (65’ Álvgeirsdóttir ); Jonathansdóttir (51’)

Zwangzug – 0 (0)

Kaija Michaelsdóttir had fond memories of that night in Istria; surprisingly clear ones, actually, given how much she’d drunk. Some paparazzo hack had snapped a picture of her leaving the bar as the sun came up, glassy-eyed, and a couple of right wing rags back home had run stories about ministers boozing it up on the taxpayers’ dime; literally no one had cared, though. They were all too busy boozing it for themselves. She had never taken any personal credit, of course: it was the team that won the match, and while she might, then serving as Culture Minister, have taken the decision to send Jason Þórhallursson from the Olympics to the Baptism of Fire, the far harder part of the job involved actually scoring the winning goals, and that was all him. Modesty and humble self-restraint were not always winning features in politics, but as she smiled at the photograph – screw that paparazzo, she’d had his picture framed in her office – she couldn’t help but be proud of being one very small part of the memorable day when Græntfjall won their first – and only – silverware.

She turned from the photograph, to the television screen. Her smile faded. Her own cheery visage was replaced by the less delightful sight of a massive Left-slate rally. Hundreds of workers and, more irritating for Kaija, young people, massing to hear their beloved Zóphonías Juliusson speak. Chants from the crowd mingled: “Whose justice? Our justice!”, “People before profit!”, “We are the 98.907%!” (Græntfjallers tend to be a very exact people, even radical leftist Græntfjallers.) They were largely drowning out the current speaker, a dull union rep who was trying and failing to instigate a call-and-response as he listed a litany of failures of the “current crypto-fascist government and their partners who don’t even bother crypto-ing their fascism”. Good line, mused Kaija, needs a little work on the delivery.

Auðlín and Kimberley, two of her aides, had entered. Heads buried in phones as ever. Spark!, the popular TV drama about a fictional female Prime Minister, always depicted her aides carrying folders and files, a sign it was written by someone who hadn’t ever actually worked in Hvítursalur, not in the last 15 years anyway. On the TV, the chanting had stopped – to be replaced by wild cheering as Juliusson stepped up. He and Kaija had been colleagues, once; she’d served under him when he was Prime Minister, travelled with him to Banija to watch the Olympics. But they had never really been close. A generation apart, a political gulf between them as big as between her and those of the parties of the right, the class division (and not in the way supposed by those on the outside: it was Kaija who had grown up in grinding poverty and escaped the slums, Juliusson the scion of privilege who attended operas and dined with the Queen). She didn’t hate him, couldn’t hate the man who’d been tortured for the crime of drinking a toast to liberty. But she wasn’t going to vote for him.

“Have you found out who it is?”

Auðlín shook her head. “All we know it’s someone big.”

Juliusson was going to announce a big celebrity endorsement. Not usually his style – the scorn he’d poured on Kaija’s own party for courting such voices in the past. But for the Left-slate, this election was a battle for survival, a scrap for the soul of the nation. He was going to be bringing out every weapon he could, and if that meant cosying up to some TV actor or Q-pop singer, she was sure he’d paste on the same fake smile he’d worn every time the two of them had appeared in public together when in coalition. And express the same cold hostility once their back was turned. She needed to know who it was, but for a political culture that leaked like a sieve normally, the halls of Græntfjaller power had been curiously silent this time.

Kimberley was wearing her about-to-be-eaten-by-a-kraken face. She knew.

“Who?”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Who is it?”

On the TV, the crowd had gone from cheering to incoherent whooping as a slender young woman with long blonde hair appeared on stage, hobbling on a cast. Juliusson reached out a hand and took hers, holding their twin grasp aloft to wild acclaim from the supporters. The woman was wearing the blue-and-white. A big white ‘14’ on her back as she turned to wave to some of the supporters behind the stage. ‘HANNE’ in block white print. Hanne Heikkisdóttir, starting left-winger for the national football team. Former darling of the Gold Shrews, now playing in the Euraleague alongside Amanda Guttisdóttir. Amanda Guttisdóttir, whom Kaija had been privately discussing an endorsement with. Not that that would be worth anything now. First mover advantage in politics was everything.

“I thought she was playing at that fucking Bird Cup!”

“Injured,” reported Kimberley solemnly. “Sat out a couple of games, made it through the game against Valanora but failed the physical for the trip to Turori. She’s out of the squad.”

And stayed home in Græntfjall to be courted by Juliusson’s operatives. Kaija was fuming. She already knew what the first line was going to be when Hanne hobbled up to the mic:

“Hello everyone. I’m gutted to be missing out on playing for the national team. But, maybe we can find a replacement? Any left wingers here?”

Not a great joke. But given the circumstances, the crowd ate it up like it was the one about the kraken and the nun. Juliusson’s hearty fake laugh picked up behind her, too.

The young woman launched into her speech. She wasn’t a bad speaker, for a footballer, Kaija thought cattily – a little slow on the obvious scroll of the autocue, but certainly better than someone like Kalle Bjørnsson. She briefly imagined the BFG trying to do an endorsement speech, and the mental image improved a mood. A very small amount.

“…when I get injured I get the best medical care in the world, but when my sister, a nurse, got injured, she faced a 7 hour wait for treatment. Is the work she does less valuable than mine? Why can’t everyone get the care they need?…”

“Should we call up Amanda?” asked Kimberley nervously.

“No, forget that. She has that game in Banija, anyway.” Auðlín and Kimberley exchanged a glance – sometimes it seemed Kaija was more concerned with the Snow Wolves winning than with her own party winning – but said nothing. “We’ll find something down the line, but this is going to dominate the news cycle, anything we say would get buried.”

“…we can’t afford it? Then how come we can afford billions on new weapons? On missiles and bombs and tanks? How come we can afford huge corporate bailouts and cushy tax breaks for billionaires?…”

Hanne pounded the lectern as she spoke and the crowd were whipping themselves into a frenzy. Kaija picked up the remote, disgusted, and changed the channel.

“…those who say we can’t afford to build better schools because they might have to pay tax on all three of their luxury cars…”

“Is every single channel covering this?” she snapped, disgusted.

“Like you said,” ventured Auðlín. “It’ll dominate the news cycle.”

“…are just some of the reasons I will be voting Left-slate this summer!”

In between a tele-call about party strategy and some work on some policy committee documents, Kaija kept one eye on the coverage. Juliusson delivered a speech – one of his best, she had to admit, emotional, literary, impassioned, all without seeming scripted. Who needs scriptwriters when you’re a playwright? Afterwards they visited a community health clinic. Hanne let a little girl sign her cast with a ‘get well soon’ and promised her that she would still be able to outrun any krakens she came across. Juliusson listened to a nurse in a headscarf relate a story of being racially abused by one of her patients and promised to do more to protect front-line workers. Hanne smiled as a Kijani immigrant related his joy at meeting her in halting Græntfjaller. All covered wall-to-wall by every TV channel in existence. Kaija ground her teeth.

Next came an elderly woman. She leaned back in her chair, rubbing her temples, preparing for Juliusson’s trump card on pensions, the Left-slate fighting the good fight against the Blue-Green cuts while the Progressive Liberals wavered. The so-called Progressive Liberals, he’d say, like he always did. Except, this elderly woman didn’t let Juliusson speak, and certainly not about pensions.

“…been a Left-slate voter all me life but now all I see is you pandering to them that come over ‘ere tekking our jobs, and they’re all on welfare…”

Deep amidst her ire, Kaija felt a small pang of sympathy. She’d always hated these kinds of exchanges, where all you could do really was very suddenly notice the time. Hanne looked distraught.

“…don’t do anything to improve our lot and they’re breeding like rats…”

“I’m sorry to interrupt Mr. Juliusson, but you’re due at your next appointment.”

Kaija smiled thinly. Give that aide a medal. A few mumbled words were exchanged and the two sides parted, Juliusson and Hanne hurried to the car while the cameras followed, the old woman drifting away into the background. As Juliusson held the door, he was saying his goodbyes to the crowd, waving, promising to see them again soon. The coverage continued. Must be a slow news day. A caption rolled along the bottom about violence in Jabal Akhdar and earthquakes in Montaña Verde. So no change there.

“I’m so sorry about that Hanne.”

Kaija cocked her head. Juliusson’s voice was still coming through, clear and crisp, even with the door shut.

“It’s fine, I was just … not sure what to say.”

“You should never have been put in that position, I’m just sorry she wasn’t vetted first. I’m afraid if you’re going to canvass you’re going to come across some people like that. Very bigoted, very ignorant. They’re never going to be our voters so best to just smile and wave, and move on. We’re going to the rehab clinic nex–”

There was a starchy crackle and his voice cut out.

“Did he just…” A stunned Kimberley filled the silence.

Maybe his aides didn’t deserve a medal, after all…

PHORCED-ACRONIM Test #002

The first big foreign policy issue of the election is going to occur in…

0: Montaña Verde
1: Jabal Akdhar
2: Mlima Kijani
3: Ha’Yarok
4: Mont Vert
5+: Berdeng Bundok

…and involve…

0: a natural disaster
1: a terrorist attack
2: a controversial new law
3: a change of government
4: a terrible discovery
5+: some actual good news

[Tequilo]

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TRACE & TRACK SPECIAL
THE TEQUILO ALL-STARS XI

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Part 11: POPOJO

You can't have an All-Star XI without a goalkeeper, they would lose every game by ten goals and that's hardly a decent record for the best of the best. When we came to think about it, in Tequilo we realised that historically the goalkeeper has been dramatically overlooked, with all the emphasis on style and foot skills and scoring tons of goals. Right now we probably have our most celebrated keeper playing for the national team and he's only 23 years old with nearly 90 caps already in Oscar Bienvenida - he will undoubtedly be the All Time Greatest Keeper (of Tequilo) when he's old enough. But we really ought to track down someone in history, there has got to be at least one former keeper to celebrate, hasn't there?

Of course there is! When we scrabbled through our lists in the office we finally came up with a few greats including 'Gentilhombre' Gento Pollanijo at SC Pedregal, Pelaxio Rios - The Pogo - at El Quetan CF and of course Alain Caballero, who made over 800 appearances for Cooperativa during the time of their great four-in-a-row domination of the Ocotapa state championships. But there really is only one we really really wanted to track down on company expenses and that was Juventoyan's spectacular 'little giant'... Guillermo Costello, better known as Popojo. Remember him? He used to play in a black woollen roll-neck jumper and flat cap, despite the tropical temperatures of the islands in Antivador where Juventoyan are based - this was the traditional gear of the local fishermen, a nod to his first career and the culture from which he emerged as one of the finest shot stoppers of the fifties and sixties, when Juven were actually an alright team and used to win things. Popojo was the recipient of four state titles in a long career, remembered for his diminutive stature but unnervingly enormous fore-arms, his athletic prowess, his reputed ill-mannered character and sometimes apparent superhuman strength when fending off much larger centre-forwards. He was an innovator in nutrition of his day, a vegetarian master of health and fitness with the contradiction of being a famous and committed pipe-smoker. After retirement he made his fortune in canning vegetables, as well as owning the largest spinach ranch in the Wide Enness Ocean.

When we tracked him down, we were stunned by his youthful appearance: he was never much of a looker, quite the opposite, and he still isn't easy on the eye. But he doesn't appear to have aged a day, now entering his nintieth year and still an active farmer. As back in the day, he's nigh impossible to understand with his thick Antivadorio fisherman's accent, but his wife of seventy years Olive helps translate. Just what is his secret to eternal, if ugly, youth? He has kept up with the times, says Olive, and having developed a nutritional leaf he could smoke in his pipe, these days he's moved onto the vape, and enjoys 'the power and the glory' of Popojo's Vintage Spinach Oyl in his electronic pipe [Other vape oils are available - Ed.]

DOUBLE DAGAN DELIGHT
CASSADIAGUA 3-5 TEQUILO HT: 2-2

Location: @ unidentified location, somewhere in Cassadaigua
Attendance: Rife
Scorers: Morgan Rosenblatt 21' 56' Courtney Graham 22' | Alexandro Calvoecheaga 20' Tlacolotl 39' 84' Ricardo Bailén 47' José Tavia 76'
Assists: Rachel Schanke 21' Madison McClain 22' Kelsey Whitman 56' | Ricardo Bailén 20' Alexandro Calvoecheaga 47' Tsttnauayui 76' Niño Pinto 84'
Booked: Madison McClain (2) | Ostando Bertendona (2) Tlacolotl (2) Niño Pinto, Ochoa Abril
Sent Off: Madison McClain | Ostando Bertendona, Tlacolotl
Tequilo Line-Up: (4-1-3-2) Oscar Bienvenida | Ostando Bertendona, José Tavia, Tol Chicote (sub: Ochoa Abril 70'), Diogo Junco | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla, Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén (sub: Tsttnauayui 71') | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga
Player of the Match: Ricardo Bailén (Tequilo)

MORE OF EVERYTHING
More goals, more bad tempers, more incidents, more cards, more records, more excitement... more of everything! If you want a full-blooded and fully bloody football match, this fixture is fast becoming the go-to for angry, over-competitive and petulant handbags at dawn, headbutt at kick-off and red cards before half time, and attacking swashbuckling-with-a-bit-of-extra football throughout. Phew! Even the press box needed an orange quarter at half time and a warm-down massage afterward. The exciting thing - these two could meet again further down the road for a third time, and guaranteed, it will be messy...

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SIX OF THE BEST
TEQUILO 2-1 NOVA ANGLICANA AZoE HT: 1-1

Location: @ Estadio Nacional, Ciudad de Pitxi, Tapalupé, Tequilo
Attendance: 81,810
Scorers: Sean Reed (OG) 5' Milan Lucio 75' | Colby Parker 7'
Assists: Niño Pinto 75'
Booked: Pedro Rôa, Milan Lucio | Sean Reed
Sent Off: -
Tequilo Line-Up: (4-1-3-2) Oscar Bienvenida | Sanço, José Tavia, Tol Chicote, Diogo Junco | Ixtub Tün | Xaime Medal, Çenturion, Tsttnauayui (sub: Ricardo Bailén 85') | Pedro Rôa, Milan Lucio
Player of the Match: Tol Chicote (Tequilo)

HUNDRED PERCENT KNOCKOUT
A full set of six consecutive victories over the confederations winners surely makes the IAC the top competition for this cycle, as Tequilo edged past NAAZoE in the tightest match so far in this tournament. The Agave-Blues head off to foreign climes next, hoping to progress further in this competition but now facing the some of the best in the world, beginning with former world champions Banija. Records continue to pile up for this national team side, who are adding to their streak records of consecutive wins and games unbeaten, and the hope is, with World Cup qualifying around the corner, this team, guided by coach Juan Manuel Botín, might have what it takes to go toe to toe with anyone. Could a trip to Cassadiagua and Chromatika be on the cards?

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TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY
Competition goals: Ricardo Bailén, Tlacolotl (7) Pedro Rôa (3) Xaime Medal, Niño Pinto (2) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, José Tavia, Milan Lucio (1) (own goals - 1)
Competition assists: Niño Pinto (4) Pedro Rôa (3) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Ricardo Bailén, Ixtub Tün (2) José Tavia, Tlacolotl, Xaime Medal, Ostando Bertendona, Huracan, Tsttnauayui (1)
Competition PoMs: Ixtub Tün (2) Tlacolotl, Pedro Rôa, Ricardo Bailén, Tol Chicote (1)
Competition cards: Milan Lucio, Tlacolotl (3 yellows, 1 red) Ostando Bertendona (2 yellows, 1 red) Alexandro Calvoecheaga (1 red) Tepin Mecatl-Rubió, Emmanuel París, Niño Pinto, Ochoa Abril, Pedro Rôa (1 yellow)

RECORDS WATCH
* Twelve consecutive victories from the IAC through the first six games of the Eagles Cup is a new NT record, surpassing a previous of six in a row.
* Fifteen consecutive games unbeaten is a new national team record, surpassing a previous of eleven games.
* Ricardo Bailén became first player to score in five consecutive internationals for Tequilo away to Cassadiagua, and Tlacolotl achieved the same feat in the match
* Sanço (21), the leftback from Benemérito, made his debut against Cassadaigua.
* Noxochinoch needs three more caps to reach a half century, and would become the seventh player to do so for the Tequilo NT.
* Oscar Bienvenida (88) and Tlacolotl (85) continue to battle for the most caps - the next nearest is Ixtub Tün (73).
* Tlacolotl continues to add to his NT goalscoring record (59) - the next nearest is Niño Pinto (20). He has also added to his player of the match awards record (15), Niño Pinto being the nearest with 10.
* Alexandro Calvoecheaga could become the first player to get three red cards for the national team.

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Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Banija
@ Keystone Stadium in Sisonke, Kitara (capacity 47,000)
(4-1-3-2)
Oscar Bienvenida | Ostando Bertendona, José Tavia, Tol Chicote, Huracan | Noxochinoch | Vilca Hualla, Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga

Unavailable: Ixtub Tün, Tsttnauayui (injured) Milan Lucio (suspended)

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PICTURE PERFECT
WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH

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Here at GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!! we were so overwhelmed by the reception to our experimental new feature, the panel photo comic by Gúmmo - literally no-one wrote in to complain, not even despairing letter writer Xeneral Desdén of Iragartze - that we decided to make it an occasional extra in the magazine, and we even gave creator Davide 'Gúmmo' da Costa his own desk, and a title graphic. For his first commission, we slyly handed him an information request from the office of the Eagle's Club in Eauz and asked him if he could deal with it.

What is the most memorable moment in this sport's history in your country? Is it your nation earning their first trophy? Is it your first World Cup Qualification? Or is it domestic, being a dramatic photo finish league title win on the Final Day? Give us all the details! The background, the moment, the emotions behind it, the memories people feel now - all the intricate beauty for your country's greatest footballing moment of all time.

A quick survey around the office, and we all agreed that we're still high on the glory of winning the IAC, the first international trophy for the senior team (we're pretty stoked about the Mike Sarzo too, but you know...) Interestingly of course, while the real high point of the IAC was the final whistle of the final victory - that was a damn high point, yes - for many in the office, and particularly on the Schadenfreude-in-Sports desk, it was watching those poor Omericans descend into tearful tantrums after their semi-final defeat. Look at those emotional scenes, those lovely Ohmericans so sensitive! Don't you just want to hug them better?

[Turori]

Of course, it would be easy to assume that the greatest moment in Turorian Sports history would be one of the nations record four Cup of Harmony victories - or perhaps Turori's advancement to the World Cup 82 Semi-Final. Yet, while both of these were marquee events in the history of Sport in the Island Emirate, none of these compare with the magnitude of the accomplishment achieved in the World Cup 81 Quarter Final victory over Ethane.

The venue for the match was the Kabonero III Field in Istria, Moravica, Banija. It was the World Cup Quarter Finals. In fact, it was the third straight cycle which the Eels advances to the Quarter Finals stage. However the Eels had a very long and very consistent history of advancing to the Quater Finals and promptly losing. The first appearance for Turori in the World Cup Quarter Final would be World Cup 18 in Squornshelous. From there, Turori would advance to, and get eliminated at the Quarter Final stage in six of the next seven cycles, never advancing beyond that stage. The modern era was no different and as they stepped on the pitch in Moravica, Turori were on the cusp of tying their own record of three straight Quarter Final defeats for the third time in their history.

However, this time was different. The Oceanfront Venue was a comfortable environment for Turori's National Citizen Squad. Their opponents, The Flammable Gas of Ethane from Esportiva, were making their first ever appearance in the World Cup Quarter Finals. While Turori had advanced to, and been defeated at the Quarter-Final Stage many times in the past, the list of nations that had eliminated Turori at the Quarter Final stage was much shorter. More importantly, perhaps, every single team that had ever knocked Turori out of the World Cup Quarter Finals had one thing in common. They were all World Cup Champions. Squornshelous. Audioslavia. Rejistania. Sarzonia. Eura. Schottia. The Holy Empire. Most had defeated Turori in the Quarter Finals at least twice. Sarzonia, Rejistania and Schottia would all go on to win the World Cup the very same cycle they knocked out Turori. It was an imposing list of some of the most decorated nations in World Cup History. Then there was Ethane. In their first ever Quarter Final appearance. This time, Turori was the big name, and for the first time in their history, the Eels would capitalize on the opportunity.

Turori came into the match with confidence having played Ethane already 3 times in the previous cycle - twice in Qualifying and once in the World Cup 80 Finals Group Stage. Turori had won every one of those matches. In a classically Karelan result, Meldi'ita Mungwaii's 20th minute tally would go down in history as the goal that changed Turorian Sport forever. No Turorian citizen had ever known a time where Turori were a legitimate contender for the World Cup. The Turori National Team had always had a ceiling: The Quarter Final. With one swing of the leg, Mungwaii shattered that ceiling and delivered to Turori something they had sought out since the beginning of their existence: A World Cup Semi-Final appearance and a chance to play for a spot in the World Cup Final.

Of course, Turori were thrashed in their first ever Semi-Final appearance by rival neighbors Vilita. It was certainly deflating in the moment but as time has passed very few within the Vilitan Cove region have strong memories of Vilita's 5-1 victory over Turori in the World Cup 81 Semi-Final. For Turorian fans, the euphoria of the Quarter-Final victory over Ethane is what stood out from their World Cup 81 Experience. For Vilitan fans, the Semi-Final triumph was important for a day or two but quickly overshadowed by their victory over South Covello in the World Cup 81 Final.

The Semi-Final drubbing would even quickly be erased from lore in the Battle of the Cove, overshadowed just one cycle later by the Vilita v. Turori clash in the World Cup 82 Final. Of course, advancing to the World Cup Final and finishing on the Podium at the World Cup for the World Cup was a massive accomplishment for the Turori National Team, on par or perhaps superior to their victories in the Cup of Harmony and Eagle's Cup. Even in defeat, Turorian fans could enjoy their appearance in the World Cup Final and the players returned home to a celebration with their Runners-Up medals.

In the subsequent cycle during World Cup 83, Turori National Team midfielder Daliora Toru'u was featured in a "Stars of the World Cup" calendar with no shirt, displaying traditional Turorian art on his body and the World Cup 82 Silver Medal around his neck. The Image of Turori wearing Turorian flag themed pants became synonymous with the squad that were World Cup 82 Runners-Up.

Of course, the triumph of breaking through the Quarter-Final barrier that had plagued the Turori National Team for eternity may not have been possible if it weren't for the entire program being elevated by the Cocoabo Enrichment and Enhancement Project and the direct competition between Turori's National Citizen Squad and Turori's National Cocoabo squad for the right to represent Turori at the World Cup Finals.

Having failed to qualify for the World Cup 77 finals and having to have watched their neighbors the Tropics of Vilita not only qualify, but win the entire competition, There was increased pressure on the Football Association of Turori to make a decision regarding its team of the future and what path they would be going down to restore honor to the Island Emirate on the playing field.

The Turori National Team have qualified for every World Cup Final since the Citizen v. Cocoabo competition was first introduced including the World Cup 81 and World Cup 82 finals where the only thing preventing the Eels from their first World Cup title was their neighbors Vilita who eliminated Turori in consecutive cycles before winning the World Cup title for themselves. Now, in the 10th Eagle's Cup, the Turori National Team will return to the site of their greatest achievement, the Kabonero III Field, with a place in the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy Final on the line.

 Turori [1] - [0] Graintfjall
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 30' Nua'oma Aikiki              		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 56%:: Shots: 6:: Corners: 9	Graintfjall 	:: Possession: 44%:: Shots: 3:: Corners: 5
	Lineup:	[GK] Derizi Amatopa, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Lulu Pumaziiri, [D.] Bvalis Amaanara, [ML]  Tulaki Rauogba, [MC]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MC] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [MC]  Lati'ala Giaoka, [MR]  Daliora Toru'u, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki, [FC] Lutara Makakio			
	Bench:	[FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Turakia Diijelhma, [M] Friika Diirotora, [M] Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [U ] Wiztsana Iretziia, [D] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [GK] Timaala Hualtia

 Turori [1] - [0] Valanora
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 66' Biliki Rona'atu'i              		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 51%:: Shots: 8:: Corners: 10	Valanora 	:: Possession: 49%:: Shots: 3:: Corners: 0
	Lineup:	[GK] Wiyauw An'maude, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [D.] Moumouni Verre'elali, [ML]  Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [MC]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MC] Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [MR]  Daliora Toru'u, [FC]  Wiztsana Iretziia, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki, [FC] Turakia Diijelhma			
	Bench:	[FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Kala'a Yuliizala, [M] Naraiza Ruaplal, [M] Lati'ala Giaoka, [U ] Tulaki Rauogba, [D] Lulu Pumaziiri, [GK] Derizi Amatopa

[Chromatika]

What is the most important match in Chromatik History?

Some say that it's when Chromatika defeated Valanora 1-0 in the AOCAF 55 Final. Others say it's when Chromatika drew against Sartbia to make sure that they won the Playoff to Qualify for the first time. But really? There is no other game that is as important as this:

Chromatika 2-2 (3-2 AET) Cosumar, World Cup 76 Quarterfinals.

Here is the article from The Rebel that describes the game in detail. Let's take a look at the ramifications of this match.

Chromatika first joined the World Cup in cycle 73. It took until Cycle 75 before they qualified. In that cycle, they actually won the Group and then lost to Barunia in the Round of Sixteen. In Cycle 76, they went 2-1-0 in the Group and won their first playoff game against the Royal Kingdom of Quebec, 3-2.

When Chromatika faced Cosumar, Cosumar was the 12th ranked team in the world and Chromatika was the 18th ranked team in the world.

It would be Lilley that struck first for Cosumar. A young Keira Andisori answered via a neat ball from Erika Morningstar; as The Rebel wrote back then, "she made mincemeat of McNessa, got by Na'Kale, and slotted a slow ground ball that caught Winterfyll off-guard into the net". Lisa Amos, new at the time, before her days at Starling, had implemented a system in which the team could counter much faster. The score was at 1-1.

Lilley scored the brace for Cosumar in the thirty-second off a free kick; Cosumar would lead Chromatika 2-1 at halftime. Aysu Damjana came inf or Zlastica Ellen, while Heher comes in for De Marisco; Alyss Montague enters for Meagan Kelly, and Gabriella Antonio moves into the Captaincy. Then, Lisa Amos substitutes in a very young Jazmin Dragana, and the entire team shifts forward a few yards to try to get that tying goal. Soon enough, Rachel Hellion's cross sees Jazmin Dragana for the equalizer.

Chromatika was preparing for its second straight game in extra time when disaster happened. Lilley, while going for a hat-trick, was met out by Jillian Nier, who was able to stop the shot but took the hit to the head, meaning that Chromatika entered extra time without a keeper.

As it couldn't be a defender or one of the midfielders... Gabriella Antonio played in goal. Chromatika spent the first extra period playing scared, but with the knowledge that they wouldn't stand a chance in penalty kicks, Antonio asked her team to press forward and hope that she could handle the moment. They answered.

On the 118th minute, everyone moved up. Rachel Hellion found an unmarked Keira Andisori, who took three steps and fired off her right foot past Winterfyll and into the net.

The game wasn't over until Lilley had one last chance. Free kick, fifteen yards out, 121st minute. Lilley's kick cleared the wall and started to bend down; Gabriella leaped to the middle of the left side of the net and caught it.

Unfortunately, Mia Ria would get smacked around by the Unified Sunrise Islands in the Semifinals before losing a heartbreaker against San José Guayabal, meaning that they'd be lost in history except for within the country of Chromatika.

This game remains the only Quarterfinals victory in Chromatik World Cup history. Now, the only people that remain are Keira Andisori and Mia Ria.

What a night that was for the country... Hopefully they'll return someday.

[Zwangzug]

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram

Zwangzug got a big win against Valanora, with goals from Johan Idmar (two!), Gordon Blum, Hanna Suzuki, and Jaclyn Burkhart, to only a solitary shot from Bastion's Götz Konstantin. Valanora is a grand championship dynasty, so winning against that kind of squad is always good. Sadly, a loss to Graintfjall (sorry, but I don't know about that smushy a symbol) saw us fail to qualify for knockouts.

Still, Banija fans want to know, what is our nation's top footballing hour? Many fans will say opinions--our shock finishing fourth in World Cup Thirty-Six, knocking off champion Aroras and hosts on our way? Winning a Cup of Harmony in our first try? Guttuso and Idoni's win in this Bird Cup? Drawing four-four with Farfadillis to qualify for knockouts not so long ago? What about our First Division or MUFN squads--Bassabook Old Boys qualifying for Champions' Cup Sixty-Four's final match? Arlington winning its bling?

All of this was amazing. But for many of us, what stands out is actually pain and joy from World Cup Forty-Two's final match, which was championship two (and counting) for Valanora. Possibly you don't want to put up with our dramatic pathos, and/or possibly you know this story. But do you know it as a lipogram? That's what I thought.

Back up. Way back. Zwangzug, as I said, won a Cup of Harmony in its first go, not bad for a "ragtag bunch of misfits" with oddball minds and football skills. How to top that? Qualification, obviously! In World Cup Thirty-Four, our nation was drawn, not in happily socialist Pacific islands Ariddia, but in trippy, horror-fantastical, not-of-this-world Alasdair I Frosticus. (I know it's not how you typically talk about that nation, but shut up, I'm doing a lipogram.) This land is occasionally idyllic, but occasionally host to nightmarish phantoms and voids among our physical worlds. Sadly, following a high-flying start that wound up in a blowout loss, a man from our squad got lost in a portal among voids.

Our surviving individuals, though, did not say "could occur to anybody, you know, that's football innit" but in fact said "our difficulty is in putting too much opportunity and/or anxious guilt in a solitary pair of hands. Good communistic football should consist of fair distribution and diffusion of tasks among labor. Importantly, no goshdarn GKs. Thus, a 3-2-1-2-3, it's a mirror going forwards and backwards. Cool, huh?" Although most nations would not say "cool, huh," Zwangzug was isolationist and not much into world football affairs, and just kind of got away with it. (This approach has obvious drawbacks, such as, you must try hard to stay out of shootouts.)

Young and grumpy rightback, Mr. Card, was our squad's boss for this tactic. (You probably want to know what kind of a nation calls its football protagonist "Mr. Card," that's stupidly ironic, innit? My boss says it's an allusion to a sci-fi author from a contrafactual world. Cool, sounds totally normal.) Anyway, this guy was harsh and salty about "do it our way, no talkback." Probably his frustration and pain from that portal snafu was a contributing factor. Anyway, this approach surprisingly paid off, with Zwangzug finishing fourth on two occasions. Our nation's stars got contracts in pro divisions, and Zwangzug also ran a tiny multiassociational affair for a handful of months.

Individuals would show up and grow old. Jacob Barons was our captain for a bit, and so was Mr. Ruck, who would play for clubs in Yafor 2. Doodlypants McGimpy (Bigtopian ID custom is odd) was our coach for many a match. His scouting was good, although his way of talking about uniform digits or similar mathy things was kind of oddball. In part, this was all Mr. Card's whim; as long as nobody was too strong to push back against his formational commands, anybody could symbolically act as "squad boss."

Many sports associations would start sharing a common roof and building down around "4brij" (cool kids say that, it's probably a thing). Not just football, but also Olympic stuff, bat-and-balls too. (Although a lot of our bat-and-ball club organization was a common approach with Ad'ihan and Yafor 2, which is how our WBC squad was not hurt by disruptions I will talk about.)

So now, it's World Cup 42, and a young woman from Namiri (Guariday's club, although probably from Sharag originally), Ms. Mathash, wants to play for our nation and aid in its victory. It's not hard convincing McGimpy "I'm good at football," what's kind of hard is saying "no, I'm not a forward, actually I'm sort of a fullback, you know?" in such a way that Mr. Card would sign off. That guy is now captain on account of his long span playing in our uniforms. But ironically, almost as soon as donning his armband, his brainchild is shot through. For Mathash' kind of circumlocution (not our kind) occurs, and Zwangzug start sporting a "four-four-two." Our campaign starts poorly, with a loss to tiny An Blascaod Mór (population about a gross), and a draw against a similarly unassuming nation. Logistics also go poorly; our socialists, quoting a law that says "it's cool for us to grab important land for public works, if that was your land, suck it," want to blow up our sports association building to put in transportation. (This is also kind of sci-fi humor, but no cars or highways in our nation. Just trains.) Aguazul say "okay cool, our clubs will go play in an actual pyramid, thanks for nothing," and buzz off. So our football organization is in chaos with its outlook grim.

But on-pitch action turns around. Wins follow, and qualification occurs. A win and two draws in group play put Zwangzug back into playoffs. Our captain is torn; his soul is thawing amid thoughts of "this kid is good, actually!" and calcifying again with "calibrating optimism too high will only bring about crushing, disappointing, pain, so aim low," to say nothing of football's wobbly position in our land. And so, big knockout wins against old pals Yafor 2, C&M (good fans, iffy politicians), and Orthodox monks (long history, not as pal-ish) put us in a championship match.

Rohit Sharma (also from Guariday's club) puts us on top, only for Kiso Night (prolific Vanorian forward) to go tying it up just prior to halfway. Our squads swap goals and play starts again. Half an hour, or two thirds, with no scoring action.

Until Vanorian sub Zadora winds up with an obvious goalscoring opportunity, and nobody in our squad is in position to lawfully stop it, with or without hands. Our only non-horrific option is trusting Mathash with a thirty-six foot kick, which is hard work against humans, to say nothing of Vanorian immortals, and could possibly bring about a downward spiral of rumination. But our captain's will to win, his faith in possibility, is amazingly strong; without flinching, Card cuts down Zadora and turns and walks away. Night's spot kick is anticlimax; Mathash lacks inhuman playing ability, but has a brilliantly human ability to go through victory or loss without boasting or collapsing, just part of a squad (but an important part!). And that's what's most important.

This curious duo--a pragmatic, occasionally cynical right-back and an optimistic, occasionaly childish woman in a distinguishing kit--had found that trust could pay off. Both would go on working as a pair, to build football up again as a grassroots sport, with youth and uni squads so robust that no district or city bylaw would disrupt a big pro division for long. It took a long duration, but football is back in Zwangzug, and it looks as if it's sticking around.

So, is that tactical foul in a losing match actually our top showing? You can form your own opinion. What I, and many Zwangzugians, would say with a wink is; it's our top showing, so far.

[Banija]

What is our greatest footballing moment? A trip back in time to Banija's first ever World Cup Qualification


Banijan players celebrating Banija's first ever World Cup Qualification in Zoloroni, Mercedini

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- Now, this Eagle's Cup has turned around hard and fast for the Kadongo Kamu. We lost each of our first two games by 3 goals, being in last place with a goal differential of -6 after Matchday 2. But we turned it around, winning 3 of our last 4, and drawing the other, to get 10 points and get to second place in the group to advance to the quarterfinals of the Eagle's Cup for the third consecutive tournament. And with the knockout stages of this tournament on home soil, well, there is some momentum for Marcus Waters squad on the road to, not Busukuma or Istria, but Dodoma.

The question before this round, however, is this. What is the greatest footballing moment in Banijan history? And the answer is obvious- winning the World Cup 86 Final. Not that we don't love to remember that day, but it's too easy. So let's go for the next greatest moment. There are plenty of options here, and the question of what to choose from looms large. There is our insane semifinal win of that very same tournament, where we and Farfadillis put a ridiculous 13 goals into the back of the net in 90 minutes, while we won 7-6. There is our massive upset World Cup 83 win on home soil against the then world #1s and two-time defending world champions, Vilita. Our upset win over then top-5 Chromatika in World Cup 79 Qualifying. But for this, while there are plenty of enticing options that could fill pages, we have to go to our personal favorites- our 5-3 aggregate playoff win over Mercedini in World Cup 80 Qualifying, to make our first ever World Cup Finals.

Sporting Background

Let's set the scene, right? We started in World Cup 73, and had six failed Qualification attempts- 73-77, and 79. So World Cup 80 Qualifying was our chance. We didn't start well- we were 8th place out of 10 halfway through the group stages. We fired our then manager Randolf Cherry, a Drawkland native who is presently an Executive at the S-FPL. His assistant, the now World Cup Hall of Famer Marcus Waters, was his assistant, and took the interim job. He made a few roster changes, and then, boom. The team started winning. 19 points out of our next possible 21 put us in pole position to finish top 3.

Yes- top 3. The only World Cup Qualification campaign since our start in World Cup 73 where 3rd would be enough to advance to at least the playoffs. And thank heavens it was. But it was a battle, since we were Pot 5 for that campaign. And our last two games- home to Turori, the Pot 1 side, and then away to Ethane, the Pot 2 side who were also the group winners. Add in the fact that the Pot 3 side, Jeruselem, were right on our heels- massive opponents, and no room for error.

Oh yea- and our home games were moved out of Banija at that point(more on that later). So we're out in Quebec City, playing in front of the diaspora, trying to get an important win. And we did. It was a shocker. Nobody saw it coming. But a 61st minute header from Toyuwa Okafor made the difference. But the task to qualify for the playoffs was still not done. We had to travel to Ethane, who had already won the group, and earn at least a point. It would not be easy. They had already qualified directly to the Finals at that point, but players were playing to try and ensure playing time at the Finals. We conceded in the first half, but an 82nd minute goal from Kiggwe Mavuto gave us the point we needed to get to the playoffs. The opponent- Mercedini.

General Background

For those who do not know. This was one of the most turbulent periods in Banijan history- certainly the most turbulent in modern history. Here's the background for those of you not old enough to remember. The country was afflicted with a massive drought, and that was used by the notorious Matthias Mutebi to, essentially, give himself near tyrannical powers as the nation's Katikkiro(Prime Minister).

As foreign aid poured into Banija from friends like Baker Park & Equestria, Matthias Mutebi diverted aid from regions that did not support him. This was particularly true of the Busoga Islands. They were hit hardest with the drought, and almost none of the aid that nations sent there got to Busoga. Mutebi would divert aid to Istria for apparent government distribution of the aid, but it was corruptly handed out mostly to supporters and those who voted for him.

It was horrific, and it escalated. As we know now in the after years, Ebrahim Razav, the Premier of Busoga at the time, began to work to sneak aid into the country. As promised aid continued to not reach Busoga, the unrest really began to grow. But the powder keg was late in the Qualification campaign.

An Equestrian aid ship, frustrated with the lack of aid getting to Busukuma, decided to deliver aid to Busoga directly. This wasn't an Equestrian government ship- it was an aid ship from a NGO charity. At that point, our Navy was running what functioned to a blockade against what was then part of our own country. The ship tried to run the blockade, and then our Naval ships shot it down. We also, shortly thereafter, threatened Baker Park ships situated outside of our nautical territorial zone.

Sinking a charity ship in open water, of course, was never going to stand. It was a major international incident. Another aid ship came, but this time, with an Equestrian Naval escort. Banijan ships tried to engage again, but were shot down by Equestrian military forces. And it was not long after that until it was official- the two nations were at war. THe much larger and stronger Equestrian military bombarded Banija's west coast, and troops came in huge numbers to Busoga. Busoga, meanwhile, was in outright violent rebellion, with Razav on the run to prevent arrest.

So we were in the midst of that. As a result, the RBSA moved the campaign's last two home games outside of Banija as a precaution. Morale low at home as we are in the midst of getting pounded in a war.

The Tie

Mercedini is the opponent. And- well, their media reports truly do the first leg justice. It was a stunning result. National morale through the floor, but the national team all of a sudden giving something for everybody to root for. A shockingly dominant performance in our home leg in Montreal, Quebec. A 3-0 win that gave us both a great gap, and did not concede any away goals, meant that we were so close to the Finals.

But then, we had to play a second leg. And the Golden Eagles would not go down without a fight. It seemed as if they were close to pulling off what would be an all-time World Cup Qualifying comeback victory, as a dominant first half performance gave them a 2-0 lead in the home leg at halftime. And with a young Gitonga Kahara coming off the pitch at half as he was hurt, the question was- can we hold on?

Many say that this was the most pivotal moment in Banijan footballing history. Imagine if we had failed? It would be 0-7 in terms of World Cup Qualifications. A 3-0 lead to defend in a second leg, and blew it. Would we be forever cursed? But the answer, is no. As any older Banijan fan will tell you, that may have been the most beautiful 45 minutes of football they've ever seen. The gaffer made all three substitutions at halftime. Everyone biting their nails. Living or dying with every play. One more Mercedini goal would put the two on track to extra time, but an away goal for Banija would mean Mercedini would need a minimum of 3 more to eliminate us.

And we got that away goal. As Toyuwa Okafor scored the goal on the counter in the 62nd minute, the 5,000 Banijan fans at the stadium exploded. And more importantly- everyone got excited at home. Our war-torn populace were relieved, and excited for the first time in months. Mercedini would need to score at least 3 more in a half hour. And then, 11 minutes later, Chibuzo Afolayan buried it, scoring Banija's second and sending us into ecstasy. The last 20 minutes were a pure joy- even if one of their strikers scored to give them the victory on the day.

It was a joyous moment when that final whistle blew. Mercedini fans had mostly cleared out at that point- the Banijan fans remaining. Tears everywhere. And the watch parties at home- joyous scenes. Tears flowing. Fathers calling long-lost sons to re-connect over Banija. A respite for a nation that was violently at war on the home front, and losing badly. And, of course, our first ever World Cup Qualification after six failed attempts.

And the moment ages even better with time- only uphill from there. We haven't missed a World Cup since. We launched ourselves forward, and kept going until we won World Cup 86. That was the turning point. The end of one journey and the beginning of another- the turning point. Combine all of that information, and there you have it- outside of our World Cup win, our World Cup 80 playoff tie against Mercedini is the greatest moment in the history of the Kadongo Kamu.

[Eagles Club]

And the Eagle's Cup Quarterfinal cutoff!

To take you into the cutoff, we can listen to a song that perfectly describes Maggie- A Beautiful Monster

Semifinal Prompt: Fan Culture. For nations who make it this far, there will be visions of a trophy dancing in their eyes. The Eagle's Cup is unique in the fact that these semifinals double as miniature Cup Finals. So let's focus on those very fans. What is the fan culture around your national team? Are they violent? Are they political? Do they welcome visiting fans as they enter your country? Will Banijan police groan as your fans descend upon their city for the semifinal? Tell us everything there is to know about soccer fans, both national team and club(if you want), in your nation. Graphic Bonus: Any sort of banners or instruments fans in your nation would carry/play into the stands or on a march to the match.

Eagle's Cup Quarterfinals

Cocoa-Bo Challenge Cup Semifinals
Turori 2–0 Krytenia @ Kabonero III Field in Istria, Moravica(capacity of 48,000)
Chromatika 0–8 Græntfjall @ Mugisha III Memorial Stadium in Busukuma, National Capitol Region(capacity of 49,000)

Cup of Champions Semifinals
Nephara 1–1 Cassadaigua (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.) @ Galbécran Park in Bwubanza, Bunyoro(capacity of 40,000)
Banija 0-3 Tequilo @ Keystone Stadium in Sisonke, Kitara(capacity of 47,000). *Match scorinated by Mriin.

Eagle's Cup Semifinals
Cocoa-Bo Challenge Cup Final
Turori v. Græntfjall @ Star Field in Herzegovina City, Moravica(cap. of 62,000)

Cup of Champions Final
Cassadaigua v. Tequilo @ Hangaza Unified Stadium in Aissa, Hangaza(capacity of 55,000)

[Tequilo]

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TRACE & TRACK SPECIAL
THE TEQUILO ALL-STARS XI

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Part 12: THE TWELFTH MAN†

Whilst there has been some controversy about our assertion that an All-Star XI needs an All-Star keeper (see Letters To The Editor, today's edition) surely no-one could be mulish enough to disagree with us when we say that a great team of all-stars needs a loyal following? The Falling Tree / Empty Forest Rule must apply here? Obviously these are rhetorical questions since we are going to press on but if rhetoric is not a construct that would put you off an attempt to answer it, please address your thoughts to spambucket@gola.teq¹. In the mean time, we must give a nod in this section to the Ultra-Mariachi Band, Tequilo's 'twelfth man', though in fact it is eight twelfth men and a dog, Basileus the Cactus Terrier.

The adventures of band leader Mardelio Colibrí (Director y Guitarrón) and his fellow 'sombreros' have been documented and celebrated in regular updates down the years as they travel to the sixteen corners of the multiverse to support their beloved agave-blues. Basileus must be the most well-travelled dog in Tequilo, unless any mutt has enlisted with the Bonesea Armada and won their sea-legs on a fluid-time barque, haranguing and bedevilling the coastlines of southern Ao. But as the barker (el Gritón) in the famous travelling band, Basileus has pretty much seen it all, and cocked a leg in the most unimaginably, distantly, peculiar places anywhere - like that time in the Holy Asylum Empire against the Altar of Saint Cajetan the Unemployed. An awkward moment indeed that almost got the whole band sent home to miss Tequilo's debut World Cup 85 surprise qualifying round draw.

Traditionally the exploits of travelling fans from Tequilo have been under-reported, with local media entirely focused on the visually and sonically more interesting Ultra-Mariachis. They are a brightly-coloured and well-behaved lot generally, noisy and dynamic - and while they urge on the agave-blues to greater glory, the fan-base generally prefers to do it in the main colour of the flag, 'desert gold' or bright yellow to you and me. As interest in the national team increases and new coach Juan Manuel Botín gets his charges to raise their potential, the wider following might become more numerous, more vocal, and even more noticeable. A golden yellow wall of flags and high-tempo songs with peculiar, comic and often euphemistic lyrical content, eternally optimistic and keen to enjoin a call-and-response with their opponent supporters. And ever at the front of them all will be their musical pace-setters, the eight sombreros plus dog, who will set the tempo of the beat, the key of the choir, and the tone of the chant: The Ultra-Mariachi Band.

KADONGOUT
BANIJA 0-3 TEQUILO HT: 0-2

Location: @ Keystone Stadium in Sisonke, Kitara, Banija
Attendance: 42,300 locals, eyes glazed in shock, mouths agape; 4,691 carnivalesque Tequiloa led by the Ultra-Mariachi Band (8 Sombreros + Dog)
Scorers: Ricardo Bailén 17' Huracan 26' Niño Pinto 61'
Assists: Ostando Bertendona 17' 61' Tlacolotl 26'
Booked: Kabiru Sowe, Juka Jarju | Huracan, Tlacolotl
Sent Off: -
Tequilo Line-Up: (4-1-3-2) Oscar Bienvenida | Ostando Bertendona (sub: Sanço 88'), José Tavia, Tol Chicote, Huracan (sub: Diogo Junco 75') | Noxochinoch | Vilca Hualla, Niño Pinto (sub: Çenturion 88'), Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga
Player of the Match: Ostando Bertendona (Tequilo)

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AGAVE BLUES STUN HOST NATION
Is it time to start believing in coach Juan Manuel Botín's project? After winning through the group stage with a remarkable 100% record against the various confederations champions, Los Pitxileros came into this quarterfinal tie - or semi-final of the Cup of Champions - as distinct underdogs against no lesser than the former World Champions, Eagle's Cup Champions, Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy Champions and reigning Cup of Champions Champions (not to mention the host nation) Banija, the Kadongo Kamu. That is a whole stack of odds. But with self-belief flowing through this young team, many of whom have been with coach Juan Manuel since his start with the under-18 National Team, Tequilo were far from overawed by the occasion, and took the game to the home team and their staunch vocal backing of the capacity crowd. An early goal from the magnificent Ricardo Bailén, his eighth of the tournament, settled any early nerves and by the time of the second from Huracan, midway through the first half, the partisan home fans were already sensing an unpleasant shock coming. That anxiety seemed to transfer onto the pitch and this mighty Banijan team were then on the backfoot for most of the game, as the Agave-Blues sent a message to the multiverse: we might not have to go out in the Cup of Harmony round of 32 this time around.

Next up is our new sporting rival, Cassadaigua, for our third clash in this competition. The emphasis is more on rival, than on sporting. The emphasis is very definitely on clash. An incredible twelve yellow cards and six reds over the two games looks very unseemly indeed and rumour has it both nations will be briefed by the Eagle's Club Fair Play & Decorum Sub-Committee ahead of the next tie with a polite request to work through any ill-feeling away from the smooth green field of play. Can Tequilo make it three in a row against the Dagans and reach the Eagle's Cup final? No. Probably not. They are hardly going to let Los Pitxileros take the proverbial for another game. They will surely apply the sort of steel and thunder of the great Dagan teams of old to turn the snotty-nosed Tequiloa upstarts into bloody-nosed also rans. Sub-Committees notwithstanding.

Expect titans. Angry ones set on revenge, clad in pink.

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TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY
Competition goals: Ricardo Bailén (8) Tlacolotl (7) Pedro Rôa, Niño Pinto (3) Xaime Medal (2) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, José Tavia, Milan Lucio, Huracan (1) (own goals - 1)
Competition assists: Niño Pinto (4) Pedro Rôa, Ostando Bertendona (3) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Ricardo Bailén, Ixtub Tün, Tlacolotl (2) José Tavia, Xaime Medal, Huracan, Tsttnauayui (1)
Competition PoMs: Ixtub Tün (2) Tlacolotl, Pedro Rôa, Ricardo Bailén, Tol Chicote, Ostando Bertendona (1)
Competition cards: Tlacolotl (4 yellows, 1 red) Milan Lucio (3 yellows, 1 red) Ostando Bertendona (2 yellows, 1 red) Alexandro Calvoecheaga (1 red) Tepin Mecatl-Rubió, Emmanuel París, Niño Pinto, Ochoa Abril, Pedro Rôa, Huracan (1 yellow)

RECORDS WATCH
* Banija are the 2nd former world champion beaten by Tequilo, after Cassadaigua (twice).
* Thirteen consecutive victories from the IAC through the first six games of the Eagles Cup is a new NT record, surpassing a previous of six in a row.
* Sixteen consecutive games unbeaten is a new national team record, surpassing a previous of eleven games.
* Ricardo Bailén became first player to score in five consecutive internationals for Tequilo away to Cassadiagua, and Tlacolotl achieved the same feat in the same match
* Sanço (21), the leftback from Benemérito, made his debut against Cassadaigua.
* Noxochinoch needs two more caps to reach a half century, and would become the seventh player to do so for the Tequilo NT.
* Oscar Bienvenida will become the first player to reach 90 caps for his country in the next game against Cassadaigua; Tlacolotl is the next nearest and will make his 87th appearance in that match.
* Tlacolotl could become the first player to reach 60 goals for his country - the next nearest is Niño Pinto (21). He can also add to his player of the match awards record (15), Niño Pinto being the nearest with 10.
* Alexandro Calvoecheaga could become the first player to get three red cards for the national team.

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Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Banija
@ Hangaza Unified Stadium in Aissa, Hangaza (capacity 55,000)
(4-1-3-2)
Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Ostando Bertendona, José Tavia, Tol Chicote, Huracan | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga

Unavailable: Tsttnauayui (injured)

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LETTERS OF THE WEEK
When it needs saying and you're not afraid to say it...

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Good morning everyone. We have letters... and postcards from abroad too - how exciting! We had to hire a friendly polyglot from the Modern Languages Tea & Biscuit Social Club at the local library to help out for the day.

In the light of revelations about revelling in Mathéo Teardorp's teary tantrum [yesterday's Daily] regular correspondent Rùben Curto of Chanco Cóndor wants to remind us to remain gracious and sportspersonlike at all times, lest we jinx ourselves. "The Dagans lie in wait in the next round and they'll be keen to give us a bloody nose, so let's remain dignified and when our inevitable exit comes, we can say we've been a shining example of poise and magnanimity. Even if we leave on a stretcher." Duly noted, Rùben.

Now what about those postcards? Mercedes Porschadóttir sends a lovely picture of the infamous Junction of a Thousand Honks in Altendalur, Græntfjall, [We do love a good motorway postcard - Ed.]: "Your Eagle's Cup coverage...dudes, you have me literally screaming [with blood-curdling fury*]. Your articles are entirely ridiculous, and yet still somehow you've outdone yourself."

Speaking of magnanimity, here's one all the way from Oh-merica. ThomasDaviesSFRD concedes: "That last Eagles Cup segment by Gúmmo may be the least dishonest and least insulting thing you’ve ever said about Omerica. Thanks for that." You're welcome, Thomas, and thanks for the lovely postcard too, we'll put it with the others in the box marked 'postcards with pictures of bagpipes on them'.

Finally, a delicious two-tone checkered board postcard which reminds us a lot of our favourite office parties soundtracked by Skarramucho, Tequilo's finest ska collective. It's come all the way from Zwangzug, of course! Amitabh Mehta of Guariday, Namiri has quibbles: "I appreciated your look into the all-stars, and the hat-tip to Oscar Bienvenida (he is one of my favorite NATO alphabet players). I would, however, like to quibble with your opening sentence: "You can't have an All-Star XI without a goalkeeper, they would lose every game by ten goals and that's hardly a decent record for the best of the best." Some of my compatriots would, in fact, put together an all-star XI without a goalkeeper and expect to keep it reasonably close even if unsuccessful. I'm not saying that this is a good approach or should be emulated, but there are people here mulish enough to try."

I wonder what regular correspondent Rùben Curto of Chanco Cóndor, regular provocateur ‘Orejas Grandes’, Furioso de Tacranza who doesn’t wish to speak for everyone when he shouts, Minerva Neptune, a Boneswoman of the good ship HMS Wednesday Afternoon presently docked in Ciuredor, Young Juanita Lirraytegui, aged 6 and three quarters who scrawls and Sylvia Bombarra of Lipa, always first in line with some useful gossip, will make of that curious provocation - no doubt they will be scribbling away before the end of this paragraph.

If you are entirely prepared to drop the goalie, want to disagree with our correspondents or just like to share your opinion on the pitxi, please drop us a line at Letters To The Editor, spambucket@gola.teq or slowmail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé.¹.

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[†]Other genders equally applicable.
[*]We may have added this for gothic bloody license.^§
[1]Or TG Tequilo and we'll be sure to publish you in the next edition of the DAILY! We love foreign correspondents.
[§]Shouldn't a [*] come before a [†]? - Ed.

[Graintfjall]

Chromatika – 0 (0)

Græntfjall – 8 (4)
Hárlaugsdóttir; Vilbertsdóttir, Björnsdóttir, Hagalínsdóttir, Matteosdóttir; Kristoffersdóttir (17’) (23’, 50’), Guttisdóttir (10’) (60’ Hólmarsdóttir (81’)), Álvgeirsdóttir, Mensdóttir; Dannysdóttir (16’, 44’, 58’) (60’ Allansdóttir ); Jonathansdóttir (71’) (85’) (88’ Wolfgangsdóttir )

Selection of articles from Græntfjaller news media.

Græntfjaller fans cautioned against repeat of Quemorr incident as Turori clash looms

The ‘Snow Wolf Pack’, Græntfjall’s travelling army of football fans, have received a formal warning from Knattspyrnusamband Græntfjalls [the national football association] to avoid repeating the cephalophobic abuse that blighted qualifying matches against Quemorr Isles during the last World Cup. Many fans are travelling to Banija to watch the Cocoa-Bo Challenge Cup Final, part of the Eagle’s Cup tournament, with the Snow She-Wolves drawn against Turori’s Eels, a repeat of the 3rd place playoff from the previous Eagle’s Cup. “Eels are not cephalopods,” explained KG spokeswoman Soffía Mírsdóttir, “And so we certainly hope we will not see any ugly scenes similar to 2 years ago.”

KG have displayed informational posters explaining the difference between eels and cephalopods in several hotels hosting Snow Wolf Pack tour parties, and have launched a video with several Snow Wolves players enjoining fans to behave well. “Derogatory comments about eels or squids or any other marine life shame us all and risk giving us a negative reputation,” explains Hanne Heikkisdóttir, the injured left-winger whose endorsement of the Left-slate political movement was soured by her involvement in the subsequent “Bigotgate” embroiling leader Zóphonías Juliusson. “Let’s kick speciesism out of football!” says Michelle Matteosdóttir, the right-back called up to replace injured Elektra Lúthersdóttir after disappointing performances from Paulina Philipsdóttir failed to impress. “Dude, get a life and stop talking about ****ing krakens all the ****ing time it stopped being funny ****ing ages ago you massive ****ing dork,” is the passionate appeal, directed more at the fourth wall than the travelling fans, from Sara Kristoffersdóttir.



Snow Wolf Pack fans holding one of the offensive banners

Some have questioned KG’s priorities. Waseem Damirsson of the Muslim Council of Græntfjall, pointed out that the organization’s actions “stand in contrast to their inaction on Islamophobia and racism”. GPL teams Mühlrich and Maigburg have both received sanctions for fan behavior towards Muslim and non-white players, in Maigburg’s case directed at one of the club’s own players, the Akhdari right back Rayyan Noor Zaman. But many felt KG’s light touch approach, refusing to dock league points or issue stadium bans, was too softly-softly – among such critics Maigburg legend Eiríka Jonathansdóttir, who demanded to be released at the end of the season. In response to Mr Damirsson’s statement, KG said they had a “zero tolerance” policy towards “racism, sectarianism, or homophobia” but pointed out that Snow Wolf Pack fans have never been accused of racism in international matches, and controversies have mainly involved anti-communist invective directed at left-wing nations.

The concern is believed to be that a repeat of the cephalophobic abuse could lead to further sanctions from the WCC*, who forced Græntfjall to play matches behind closed doors during the last campaign. “Sanctions like that really hit KG in the pocket book,” explained veteran football journalist Olle Tobiasson. “And if they can’t show any improvement it may lead to even more serious measures, points deductions, disqualifications, loss of hosting or access rights.** All of which could have terrible financial implications for football in Græntfjall. I can understand KG scrambling to make sure there are no outbreaks of speciesist chanting.” In addition to the publicity campaign, KG have set up a free emotional support helpline for any victims of speciesism, a measure Tobiasson said “may be going slightly too far”. “They do understand they’re not actually eels, it’s just a nickname, right?”

Green Wolf Pack? Eco-tourism packages increasing in popularity

Græntfjaller fans visiting Banija for the Eagle’s Cup have been given instructions on how to behave in an ecologically responsible way, with KG launching a campaign entitled “Take only pictures, leave only footprints, and please don’t murder any fucking whales”. And tour operators say that fans travelling in support of football teams are increasingly willing to price environmental consciousness into their tickets. “We’ve seen the ‘green tour’ packages prove very popular,” says Þormundur Adríelsson of Green Wolf Pack Travel. The package includes tree replanting to carbon off-set, a voluntary air fuel duty, and a commitment to using recycled and recyclable materials where possible.

The Snow Wolf Pack have not always enjoyed such a reputation for ecological concern. Past tours have seen fans littering stadiums: for example, during the Baptism of Fire, the fans – who dressed up as old women to mock the ‘Gray Wolves’, the ageing side fielded as a result of a clash with the Olympics – threw boiled sweets and toffees onto the pitch and left gray wigs and canes in the stands after the team began to win. Fans often bring, and then leave behind, stuffed wolf toys or wolf head costumes, plastic ‘Viking’ horned helmets, and miniature blue-and-white flags, all of which add to the plastic pollution each tour brings. A particular problem has been the proliferation of cheap bukkehorns, traditionally made from sheep horns but with imitation plastic variants popular among fans who blow them through the game, then discard them after use. Green Wolf Pack Travel have experimented with bukkehorns made from reconstituted cornstarch as a biodegradable alternative to the plastic variants.



Example of an imitation bukkehorn

“Græntfjall is a busy team: World Cup, Cup of Harmony, the biannual trip to lose to Nephara in the regionals, invitational tournaments – not to mention domestic sides travelling for IFCF matches,” says Kathinka Þórólfsdóttir, green activist with the Warming Planet, Warning Planet think tank. “It all adds up to a lot of air miles and a big carbon footprint.” She went on to praise the environmentally conscious actions of the domestic teams. “By losing so quickly every IFCF cyle they ensure pollution is at a minimum!”

Following their 8 – 0 win over Chromatika, the largest in the national team’s history, Græntfjaller fans roamed the streets of Busukuma seeking a whale to kill in celebration, eventually making do with some fish chapatis from a street vendor after realizing Busukuma was not on the coast. Past fans’ attempt to prepare a ceremonial whale feast in Lhor following a victory in the Baptism of Fire have also led to a bad reputation for the Snow Wolf Pack – and left Hlégestur Snæþórsson to miss the semi-final with stomach cramps having gorged himself. “Whether it’s plastic horns, wolf toys, or well gnawed whalebones,” said a KG spokesperson, “We encourage fans to try to minimize the impact of their travels.”

Aid in peril? Turtles no longer endangered – but foreign assistance program is

The Verdean leatherback turtle is officially off the endangered list! The good news coming out of Montaña Verde is that this year has seen a bumper crop of baby Verdean leatherbacks, giving hope that the once critically endangered species will rebound from desperately low numbers. First reported by the indigenous Yecos people, spiritual caretakers of the turtles, and since confirmed by World Assembly Scientific Program and Protection of Animal Welfare Society, this year’s is the largest successful hatching in over 20 years, and has been credited to the work of the Development Transformation Fund (DTF), a Græntfjaller foreign aid initiative. But with funding for the initiative set to expire and the current governing Blue-Greens pledging to slash it, the future of the baby turtles is far from certain.

The DTF was the pet project of Progressive Liberals leader Kaija Michaelsdóttir during her brief tenure as foreign minister under the short-lived Blue-Green/Progressive Liberals coalition government. “Too often, developing nations are forced to choose between poverty or ransacking their environmental resources,” says Michaelsdóttir, who twii.tured her joy at the reports but disclaimed personal credit, saying that instead thanks were due to the scientists and conservation rangers working in Montaña Verde. “We wanted to pilot a scheme that would create incentives for sustainable development while also helping the economies of these impoverished nations grow.” She compared the experience to the one Græntfjall itself faced thirty years ago when emerging from communism. “Mass privatization of the forests, strip mining, ecological catastrophes: some terrible decisions were made, but with a starving population and hungry vultures circling it’s understandable why. But no nation should have to face those same choices alone.”



Adorable! A baby turtle makes its way from the hatching grounds to the sea

But while Michaelsdóttir has said any Progressive Liberal government of the future would double down on the DTF and extend it to countries such as Mlima Kijani and Berdeng Bundok to fund sustainable elephant sanctuaries and coral “underwater national forests”, her former coalition partners have said funding for the scheme would be first on the chopping block when it comes to budget cuts. “Instead of funnelling taxpayers’ hard-earned krónor to protect foreign sea turtles,” scoffed Blue-Green foreign affairs spokesman Þorgestur Freybjörnsson, “We’d redirect that funding into support for the brave soldiers holding the line against the Marxist forces threatening to swarm into power and destabilise a valuable trading partner.” The Liberal-Conservative Alliance, National Democratic Front and Catholic Democrats have all also indicated their intentions to cut funding for the program.

Michaelsdóttir’s main support has come from the minor party New Energy Græntfjall! who have pledged enthusiastic backing for the scheme while suggesting that more of the funding should come from green taxes. The beleaguered Left-slate, who suffered a drastic 8% slump in polls following leader Zóphonías Juliusson being caught referring to anti-immigration voters as “bigoted” and “ignorant” on a hot mic, meanwhile questioned the priorities of the DTF. “We support the foreign aid budget and regard the Blue-Green cuts as deeply irresponsible,” said spokeswoman Hjálmveig Eyríksdóttir while dodging rotten fruit being thrown by protestors. “But we want to make sure the funds are being used to support local communities, and not being soaked up by transnational capital greenwashing exploitative touris – ow, a turnip!”

Diego Alejandro Santángel Ordóñez, President of Montaña Verde and last seen boarding an unmarked helicopter accompanied by Græntfjaller agricultural advisors, was unavailable for comment.

PHORCED-ACRONIM Test #003

The first major domestic policy debate of the campaign will be sparked by a letter to a newspaper from a…

0: billionaire
1: climate scientist
2: hacker
3: princess
4: Olympic athlete
5+: cult leader

…concerned with…

0: air travel
1: archaeological discoveries
2: the beef industry
3: radical arts projects
4: a new invention
5+: the national team's center back pairing

* OOC: Obviously, this is wank.
** OOC: As is this.

[Turori]

Turori Take Down Neighbors Krytenia in Cocoa-Bo Trophy Semis

Kabonero III Field, Istria, Moravica, Banija :: With a 2-0 victory over Krytenia in the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy Semi-Final, a sense of normalcy was returned to Margaret's multiverse. Krytenia are a nation with a long history of losing at the Semi-Final stage of a competition and the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy Semi-Final was just another Semi-Final defeat for the Cyanese to add to their tally board. For Turorian starting goalkeeper Derizi Amatopa, it was also a chance to prove that they should have had the chance to play in the most recent major knockout round match that Krytenia had participated in as well.

The recently completed 50th Di Bradini Cup saw a rare occurrence: Krytenia in a major competition final. Their opponent for that match was the Vilita and Turori Under-21 squad dubbed the "Little Eel Kitties". Turori's Amatopa was widely expected to be the starting goalkeeper for Vilita and Turori throughout the Di Bradini Cup but was instead replaced after a 4-1 defeat to San Ortelio on the opening matchday. The gloves were turned over to 16 year old Vilitan prospect Zelkki Milake Jr. of the Eastal Lunar Academy. While Milake and Amatopa would share goalkeeping duties throughout the Knockout Rounds, it was Milake who got the starting call in the final against Krytenia.

For Vilita and Turori Under-21 Head Coach Purapal Eskiiy, it was a chance for redemption. After losing to underdog Cosumar in the Di Bradini Cup 45 Final, Eskiiy had led the team back to the final and had only to defeat Krytenia to secure the title.

It was just ten minutes into the match when Vilita and Turori got their first real chance of the game when Clarana Refiami hit an effort that earned a corner kick for the Little Eel Kitties. Cuoabaza Orani’aoa's delivery was overshot deflected out for a throw in just inside the flag on the other side of the field. Inteali Koranjo was charged with the long throw in that would find Orani'aoa inside the box and the Inura Forests midfielder put Vilita and Turori on the board with a 1-0 lead. From there, Krytenia would fight hard to create the right chance to level the scores but were repeatedly boxed out by the Vilita and Turori defenders who would not allow a clean shot on Zelkki Milake's goal from inside the 18 yard box.

Eskiiy's side would get a second goal just past the half hour mark through Vilitan prospect Imauka Lkomorak of KT Moreazerua in Audioslavia. The second goal would change the complexion of the match as Krytenia stopped trying to get the right chance and started focusing on collecting any opportunity they could to put a shot towards the goal. It resulted in the Cyan Warriors taking a large number of low percentage chances - many of which came in from distance and sailed wide or above the goal, not even registering as an official shot. As the first half was drawing to a close, both teams seemed content at the scoreline settling in at 2-0 heading into the half time break but no one got that message to Lkomorak who would find the back of the net once more with one of the last touches of the first half.

It was a career establishing performance for Lkomorak who scored their first two career goals in the Di Bradini Cup Final. Neither side would scores in the second half as Eskiiy and the Little Eel Kitties would lift the Under 21 World Cup Title. The players on the pitch celebrated - including Turori's Cuoabaza Orani’aoa who scored the game winning goal and midfielder Naraiza Ruaplal who played an important role in maintaining Vilita & Turori's possession advantage throughout the match.

Ruaplal would be the only player who started the Di Bradini Cup Final against Krytenia that would also start for the Turori National Team against Krytenia in the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy Semi-Finals. Four other players from the squad would be on the roster however with Derizi Amatopa having the biggest chance to shine as the starting Goalkeeper. Cuoabaza Orani’aoa - who had the game winning goal for Vilita & Turori Under 21 against Krytenia would start from the Bench against Krytenia in the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy while Bvalis Amaanara and Friika Diirotora - both unused substitutes in the 50th Di Bradini Cup Final, would also be on the bench for the Turori National Team against Krytenia.

Unlike the previous meeting at the Under-21 level, there were no first half goals for either team - each fielding a mixed squad of youth, senior players and those needing a look for an opportunity at the first team level. Showing they were serious about their potential Eagle's Cup run, however, the Turori National Team had high talent firepower up top with the long time Veteran and Protege duo from Jungle Strike FC Meldi'ita Mungwaii and Nua'oma Aikiki reunited for the Eels. It would be off the foot of Aikiki just before the hour mark that the games first goal would come in after the Strike FC attacker was fed through by Kiidallen Aeroluzzi. Much like it was in the teams previous meeting, once the first goal went in, another was soon to follow. Biliki Rona'atu'i doubled Turori's lead on a 66th minute corner kick delivered by Cuoabaza Orani’aoa who had come on as a second half substitute. In the end, although Turori scored just two goals against Krytenia compared with the three scored by Vilita and Turori in the Di Bradini Cup Final, the statline was very similar. Officially just there were four shots on goal from Krytenia - just as their were in the Di Bradini Cup. While Turori's goalkeeper Derizi Amatopa missed out on the chance to be in net for the Di Bradini Cup final, they perhaps impressed even more by keeping a clean sheet against a more senior and experienced collection of Krytenian players.

 Turori [2] - [0] Krytenia
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 59' Nua'oma Aikiki:: 66' Biliki Rona'atu'i             		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 56%:: Shots: 5:: Corners: 12	Krytenia 	:: Possession: 44%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 7
	Lineup:	[GK] Derizi Amatopa, [D.] Lulu Pumaziiri, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [ML]  Naraiza Ruaplal, [MC]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MC] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [MC]  Tulaki Rauogba, [MR]  Lati'ala Giaoka, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki			
	Bench:	[FC] Turakia Diijelhma, [FC] Lutara Makakio, [M] Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [M] Daliora Toru'u, [U ] Friika Diirotora, [D] Bvalis Amaanara, [GK] Wiyauw An'maude

Eels Eying for Trophy Final Redemption
With the victory over Krytenia, the Turori National Team would advance to their second consecutive Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy Final. During the 5th Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy - Turori's first attempt to claim the honor, The Eels had a chance to compete for the Trophy in front of their home fans in Eelandii but were upended 2-1 by eventual Eagle's Cup champion nation Valanora.

This time around, their opponent for the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy would also be a familiar foe: Graintfjall. While the Turori National Team were busy losing the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy to Valanora one cycle ago, Graintfjall were being defeated in the Final of the Cup of Champions to current Eagle's Cup host nation Banija. It would set up a meeting between Graintfjall and Turori in the Eagle's Cup Bronze Medal Match which Turori was able to win by a 3-1 Scoreline at The Eagle's Club in Turori to close out the 9th Eagle's Cup competition and secure Turori's second Bronze Medal in the event.

This time around one of the two nations are guaranteed to improve on their performance from one cycle ago and for Graintfjall, having reached the Semi-Finals but lost both the Cup of Champions Final and Eagle's Cup Bronze Medal Match, at this point they can do no worse than they did during the 9th Eagle's Cup. One of these two nations will be advancing to the Eagle's Cup Final. It would be the first for Graintfjall in their second attempt while Turori would be finalists for the first time in the Modern era and are looking to become just the third team to ever appear in two Eagle's Cup Finals after Kingsford (2,3) and Banija (8,9) who have done it previously.

Nigel's Army Set to Turn Banija Neon Green
Of course as the final remaining team from Atlantian Oceania in the Eagle's Cup, there will be a large following for the Eels at Star Field. In particular, Nigel's Army is sure to descend on Herzegovina City. While Turori's National Team has experienced some recent improvement in results including appearing in the World Cup 82 Final, it has been nearly 13 cycles since the last time an independent Turori won a major competition Final. To put that in perspective, the last time the Turori National Team won any internationstatal competition, iBen Toralmintii had never won a World Grand Prix Championship Race. The 75th Cup of Harmony took place around the time of the 14th World Grand Prix Championship season which famously was the season that iBen Toralmintii and Terho Talvela broke the record for points by teammates in a single season, driving away with the Constructors Title with Talvela edging out Toralmintii for the Drivers Championship.

iBen Toralmintii is without question a Turorian Hall of Famer as one of the most recognizable - if not the most recognizable face from the Island Emirate outside of the native Cocoabo. While Toralmintii has had to watch agonizingly as his teammate Talvela bested him for the World Grand Prix Drivers Championship by fewer than five points on three separate occasions, Toralmintii recently broke the all time Wins record in the World Grand Prix Championship in recording their 10th career Grand Prix victory at the San Marco Grand Prix course in Filindostan. Nigel's Army had a large presence at the Ljubala InterNazionRing during the recently completed World Grand Prix Championship Season 18 Finale when Toralmintii seemed destined to become Turori's first World Grand Prix Champion driver. Instead, however, Toralmintii's Tropicorp Racing Aelund machine came screeching to a halt just two laps into the race. Teammate Terho Talvela would rally for a runner-up finish - just enough to overtake Toralmintii in the standings to narrowly deny the first major championship for the Nation of Turori since that 67th Cup of Harmony in Red Blackiland and Super Lllamaland.

The Neon Green went home disappointed on that day just as they had during the World Cup 82 Final in Valanora. Despite the disappointment, the members of Nigel's Army have never wavered in their support of all things Turori. In fact, some might say they take their support a little too far.

After seeing a downtick in numbers following a disappointing Group Stage exit at World Cup 83 - completely wasting all the momentum that their runner-up finish the cycle before had generated, the famous Turorian received an anonymous financial donation that resulted in a massive boost to their ability to organize, sending fans to matches in foreign nations as part of Nigel's Traveling Army and even establish a new headquarters facility for the Supporters Group in Turori.

What had previously always been a loosely organized collection Neon-Green Clad supporters throughout the multiverse, Nigel's Army has began running a loyalty scheme within the supporters allowing members to apply for tickets to Turorian away matches and receive complementary transportation to and from the country where the match is played. Since World Cup 86, Turorian matches in foreign nations have been relocated to larger stadiums partially as a result of the marked increase in Neon Green in the stands and associated increase in ticket demand.

Nigel's Army will be on hand at Star Field in Herzegovina City to hand out free items to all Turorian supporters entering the gates - even those who are not already decked out in neon green.

Of course of all the items that Nigel's Army have used as a unifying force, the most popular one has been the "Win it for Nigel" T-Shirt. The idea that an all-powerful Eel named Nigel was the true being at the center of all things Turori first came into popular culture after being influenced from the Dreamed Realm during the 68th World Cup Cycle. Some believed that Nigel himself was a creature from the Dreamed Realm that the everyday Turorian could not see but was both all-powerful and ever-present. Nigel became the figurehead of Religions and Cults, Politics and Sports. Nigel's Army was the result on the sporting side and even the Turori National Team have incorporated Nigel Green as a trim color on their kits - officially as a nod to their supporters club and not intended as an endorsement of any religious or political variations of the Nigel Movement.

"All lies are grounded in some kind of truth" another Turorian was quoted, "I wouldn't be surprised if Nigel is just an Alias that our giant lime-green leader is using, to protect his or - more likely, her anonymity." Another citizen agreed, "I'm sure there is someone that we don't know about pulling the strings. It makes sense for it to be a giant Eel too. I'm not sure why else anyone would make their sports mascot a slimy swimmy thingamajig, or name a town 'Eelandii'. Its kind of silly. But thats our wee Island Emirate and we don't mind so much who is pulling the strings. If its a giant lime-green electrical eel called Nigel, so be it. If Nigel can deliver a championship to us, who cares.

While news clippings from the time of Nigels 'Arrival' in Turori seem to point to the obvious tongue-in-cheek acceptance of the light-hearted national figurehead, Nigelista's have conveniently swept away the backstory associated with Nigel's origin and the existence of the Lime Green Electric Eel has become an accepted part of Turorian popular culture. 20 Cycles since first entering the Turorian Lexicon, the 67th Cup of Harmony Final remains the only major championship that Nigel has delivered to the Island Emirate. That could all change in Banija as Turori take on Graintfjall in the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy Final.

[Eagles Club]

And the Eagle's Cup Semifinal cutoff!

To take you into the cutoff, just think about the gospel truth- that your sacrifices at Maggie's altar have worked thus far.

Final Prompt: Winning. If you've made it this far, you know that you're good at winning. Your squad is competing for a trophy in these semifinals, and if you make the Final, you will have a trophy in hand as you go to collect your second- the Eagle's Cup. But as is true with all Finals, nerves are at a fevered pitch. What do your fans and players do to calm their nerves before a tournament Final? And if they win, what will the celebrations look like? Will they take to the streets, will they riot? Will players call their mothers for the first time in years? Will players take their winner's bonuses and splurge on a new fishing boat? Give me all the details!

Eagle's Cup Semifinals

Cocoa-Bo Challenge Cup Final
Turori 0–1 Græntfjall

Cup of Champions Final
Cassadaigua 1–3 Tequilo

Eagle's Cup Final
Tequilo v. Græntfjall @ The Eagle's Club in Dodoma, Bunyoro Region(capacity of 48,600)

Third Place Playoff
Cassadaigua v. Turori @ The Eagle's Club in Dodoma, Bunyoro Region(capacity of 48,600)

(Third Place Playoff is played on the same day but immediatley after the Final, and all three sets of medals are officially awarded after the third place playoff).

Also, I missed these, but we have third place playoffs for the individual cups, which I had forgotten about. So those will be scorinated on Sunday, April 25th, at normal cutoff time, while the Eagle's Cup Final/3PPO will be scorinated as scheduled, at normal cutoff time on Monday, April 26th.

Cocoa-Bo Challenge Cup Third Place Playoff
Chromatika v. Krytenia @ Tiones Lumber Field at the Wolf's Den in Busembe, Kitara(capacity of 44,000)

Cup of Champions Third Place Playoff
Nephara v. Banija @ BCEL Stadium in Jinja CIty, Hangaza(capacity of 52,400)

[Graintfjall]

Turori – 0 (0)

Græntfjall – 1 (1)
Hárlaugsdóttir; Vilbertsdóttir (27’), Björnsdóttir, Vilmarsdóttir, Matteosdóttir; Aðalsteinnsdóttir (72’) (90’ Audunsdóttir (90+2’)); Kristoffersdóttir (90’ Álvgeirsdóttir ), Guttisdóttir, Mensdóttir; Dannysdóttir; Jonathansdóttir (87’ Wolfgangsdóttir )

From the letters page of Vestrænnblaðið, a left-liberal, Western paper.

Sir,

Your report (“Ancient ship reveals secrets of a hidden past”) on the efforts of underwater archæologists at the wreck site of the Hrúðurskorpa paints a fascinating picture of a complex society. In particular, the discovery of Islamic prayer beads and goods marked with Arabic numbers prove that, as historians have long argued, Islam and Christianity happily co-existed in mediæval Græntfjall before the Crusades and religious wars of the subsequent centuries tore the bonds of faith between the two great religions asunder. It would surely shock and anger those ancient traders to see the level of enmity and distrust now at work in our supposedly enlightened modern political arena.

Kaalim Taaj Jensson
CEO, Vínland Mótorvirkar

---

How will the team prepare for the final? Tradition dictates the right back should be hurling her guts out; it was a role Elektra Lúthersdóttir excelled at, but in her injury absence, Paulina Philipsdóttir hasn’t seemed quite an adequate substitute. That’s why Michelle “The Vomit Comet” Matteosdóttir has been drafted in as an injury replacement, and as the team line up in the changing room before running out, the toilets are echoing to the sounds of her morale-boosting chundering. Her partner on the left, Emeli Vilbertsdóttir, has been voted team captain by the rest of the squad. As she cinches up her armband, she mentally replays her last tafl game; the board game helps her focus her mind and sharpen her competitive instincts. Unfortunately, the game against Jade Miansdóttir had not exactly tested her mentally; Jade can barely remember the names of the pieces. As always Sara Kristoffersdóttir is practising keepy-uppies.

They stream out into the stadium to some cheers from the travelling Snow Wolf Pack, green or otherwise. The fans are well lubricated (beer, not wine). Magga Vilmarsdóttir scans the crowd for her daughter; she’s one of two mothers in the team (the suspended Sara Aðalsteinnsdóttir the other; her husband and their children have not made the trip as she was concerned about lax anti-kraken measures and didn’t want them to risk the journey for a game she isn’t even playing in). For sportswomen, the choice of a professional career can often mean delaying or even putting off entirely a chance at having children. Ever since the team found out their old teammate Karoline Vernerisdóttir is going to have a baby with her wife, it’s something that’s been on many of their minds.

---

Posted on StatsPunk, a statistic-themed sports blog that sharply divides opinion when it comes to questions of xG weightings, positional rankings, and capitalization.

Competitive Numberwang: Key Numbers from the Eagle’s Cup

73 Emeli Vilbertsdóttir’s winner in the Cocoa-Bo Challenge Cup Final was her second career goal in 73 games. During the course of the tournament the veteran left-back has overtaken Jason Þórhallursson to become the 3rd most capped player of all time for the Snow Wolves, and the sense is she will add to that number with Kang Guilin likely to revert to a 4-at-the-back formation for the World Cup after the three center back look employed during the Copa Rushmori failed to convince. Emeli’s sweetly taken strike, from a Sara Kristoffersdóttir assist, swerved through a crowded box and rocketed into the top corner despite Derizi Amatopa getting a solid hand to it.

1 – 1 Græntfjall’s record in tournament finals to date (not counting the CCB Challenge Cup Final). Græntfjall has twice reached the final of major-ish tournaments, winning the 73rd Baptism of Fire at the Olympic Stadium in Carloburgos, Valladares, against Tioguldós 3 – 1; trailing in the second half, Jason Þórhallursson came on as a substitute having been flown in from the Olympics and scored a hat-trick, sparking delirium among travelling fans and supporters back home. Not such a happy ending to the 49th Di Bradini Cup [70th Under-21 World Cup] where the Snow Pups lost 1 – 0 to San Ortelio, with talismanic player Sara Kristoffersdóttir being sent off. Because of the Tiog political identity (heavily left-wing) and San Ortelio’s nearby location just across Lake Viljan, Græntfjall enjoys a healthy rivalry with both. Such a rivalry is less likely to develop with Turori, vastly longer storied in the world of international sport.

4 Sara Kristoffersdóttir has led the scoring for the Snow She-Wolves at the Eagle’s Cup despite mostly playing out of position; while she prefers a central attacking midfield role, she’s mainly been deployed on the left wing as cover for the injured Hanne Heikkisdóttir. But position on the team roster has never mattered a great deal to the mercurial Kristoffersdóttir, who’s scored from open play and set pieces on the left and right alike. After a strong performance at the 50th Di Bradini Cup – albeit one not able to take the Snow Pups past the quarter-finals – she finally seems to be putting things together in blue-and-white and will surely feature as part of the World Cup qualifying squad.

0 – 3½ Græntfjall had lost every single match to Turori coming into the CCB Challenge Cup Final, as well as losing to the combined Vilita & Turori squad at the Di Bradini Cup that included players such as Derizi Amatopa and Naraiza Ruaplal. While not comparable to their dire record against Nephara, it was an inauspicious omen. But the Snow Wolves rallied to the cause this time, playing a fairly conservative game – with defensive midfielder Sara Aðalsteinnsdóttir brought into the starting lineup, and Arinbjörg Björnsdóttir leading a lockdown performance at the back. It wasn’t the most attractive game of football ever played, but it was enough to secure a valuable win and break the cycle of losses.

2 × 2 Sara Aðalsteinnsdóttir may have played a key role in the win, but she won’t be involved in the final, having picked up her second booking of the tournament. Wilhelmina Audunsdóttir, brought on to replace her in the closing minutes as the Snow She-Wolves shut up shop, also managed to pick up an injury time booking 90 seconds after walking onto the pitch, meaning she too will be suspended for the final. While Græntfjall have other options – Jade Miansdóttir as a like-for-like replacement for Sara or the in-form Natasja Hólmarsdóttir as more of a deep-lying playmaker; Naomi Hagalínsdóttir or Magga Vilmarsdóttir for Wilhelmina – it does leave them without the ability to pull late defensive substitutions in time-honored Snow Wolf fashion should they scrape a lead.

1 – 0 Græntfjall and Tequilo enjoy warm relations (at least when it comes to football; what the Unión makes of ongoing Queendom efforts to destabilize the leftist government in Montaña Verde may be for another discussion). Several Græntfjaller players have played for Sopo Chacuzca, the Tequiloan manager of the Græntfjall Under-21 team, and several played for GT Molding – the ‘GT’ standing for Tequiloan mega-corporation Grupo Taxhavn. The Liga-TQ is one of the most popular foreign leagues for Græntfjaller TV viewers, and several clubs have a strong fan following. Despite this, the national teams have only ever met once, at the 78th Cup of Harmony, in one of the dullest games of football ever played. With both teams heavily beset by injuries and Græntfjall committing to a smotheringly negative gameplan, it wasn’t one for the ages. Regardless of the result, let’s hope for a more exciting final here.

---

Afterwards, the fans will be well behaved regardless of the result; Græntfjall doesn’t have much history of hooliganism. Any violence won’t be directed towards opposition or hosts, but if the team wins, fights could break out between Gunzlach and Steinaux supporters. This could also happen if the team loses, draws, or the match is abandoned. Some rivalries, even the blue-and-white can’t obscure. The odds of fans going impromptu whale hunting or kraken slaying are low, though seafood restaurants can probably expect a busy, and rowdy, evening. As can bars: Græntfjallers love their beer. Silly pranks like stealing traffic cones or mildly defacing road signs are more probable than orchestrated (or freestyle jazz) mayhem.

For the players, a win will be seen as correcting some of the injustice of the Baptism of Fire, where all the best women players were unavailable. Few, though, are keen about KG’s inevitable plans for some nauseatingly politically correct ceremony full of speeches about how yes, girls can! These women already know they can and don’t need some pandering bureaucrat telling them. They’re more interested in the prize money: though not a wealthy board, KG has enough commercial partners to be able to afford a little bonus for each player. The prompt mentioned fishing boats, but for Natasja Hólmarsdóttir, some new hunting gear is a likelier purchase. A country girl at heart, Natasja enjoys hunting wild deer and unicorns during the off-season, and will spend any prize bonus on a new recurve bow. Emeli Vilbertsdóttir plans to donate her match fee to her friend Karoline to help pay for an IVF cycle, which isn’t covered in the Græntfjaller health system and can be very expensive. Win or lose, the cycle of life and death in Græntfjall will continue.

PHORCED-ACRONIM Test #004

The first security alarm of the campaign occurs when a…

0: tomato
1: egg
2: milkshake
3: brick
4: pipe bomb
5+: ninja throwing star

…is thrown at…

0: a far-right politician
1: a center-right politician
2: a moderate centrist politician
3: a radical centrist politician
4: a center-left politician
5+: a far-left politician

[Tequilo]

---

TEAM TALK
JUAN MANUEL BOTÍN

---

Tequilo Changing Room, The Eagle's Club in Dodoma, Bunyoro, Banija.

The final. Eight minutes to kick-off.

"Alright lads, settle down, settle down. We know the drill. We have a plan. We have a playbook and we think we know what's out there waiting for us. We're as prepared as we can be. There's one last thing I want to talk to you about. This fella here is from the Eagle's Club and he's doing a report on the dressing rooms. He's asked me about winning, and what this means to us.

"Winning.

"You know what they say about winning? Well, quite a lot of things really, and I've memorised some of them because it's hard to come up with something original in a sport with limitless capacity for generating cliches.

"Show class, have pride, and display character; if you do, winning takes care of itself.

"A champion is afraid of losing; everyone else is afraid of winning. Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing; breathing first, winning next. Swimming isn't everything, winning is. Losing feels worse than winning feels good. The line between winning and losing is very thin, and wins give you prestige, stability, and continuity. Winning is kinda the cure to all things; you've just got to win. Football is not just about scoring goals - it's about winning. The person that said winning isn't everything, never won anything. Never rub another man's rhubarb. Everyone's a winner - except they aren't.

"I've only kept one award in my whole life, and it's the coolest thing ever. Mizuno gave me a samurai sword for winning the Cy Young. It's awesome.

...

"I know, I'm not sure what that means either. But you take my point. Just get out there and kick some balls."

KEYSTONE CUP
CASSADAIGUA 1-3 TEQUILO HT: 0-1

Location: @ Keystone Stadium in Sisonke, Kitara, Banija
Attendance: 42,300 locals, expecting a fight; 4,691 carnivalesque Tequiloa led by the Ultra-Mariachi Band (8 Sombreros + Dog)
Scorers: Rachel Schanke 85' | Niño Pinto 16' Vilca Hualla 69' Alexandro Calvoecheaga 80'
Assists: Madison McClain 85' | Niño Pinto 69'
Booked: Tiffany Nelson, Madison McClain | Niño Pinto
Sent Off: -
Tequilo Line-Up: (4-1-3-2) Oscar Bienvenida (sub: Tepin Mecatl-Rubió 51') | Ostando Bertendona, José Tavia, Tol Chicote, Huracan (sub: Diogo Junco 30') | Ixtub Tün (sub: Noxochinoch 70') | Vilca Hualla, Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga
Player of the Match: Niño Pinto (Tequilo)

---

CASS TREBLE TROUBLE FREE
Los Pitxileros made it three-in-a-row against the former World Champions in a much calmer tie than the previous two, which were full of cards and incidents. Rumoured to have been warned by officials from the Eagles Club to 'jolly well behave oneselves, what' both teams were determined to concentrate on the football and not on the foot or the balls and a close match unfolded, but as with the last two meetings it was Tequilo on top and patiently moving into a three goal lead before conceding a late consolation. Young midfield maestro Niño Pinto dictated play for much of the game, scoring the opening goal, creating the second and being involved in the build-up to the third, while captain Vilca Hualla and striker Alexandro Calvoecheaga added to the tally as Tequilo booked their place in the final with an extraordinary run through this competition against the odds.

The Agave-Blues will meet a familiar nation in the final in Græntfjall, though there has only been one meeting between the national teams - a narrow and rather dull defeat in the final group game of the 78th Cup of Harmony. But these countries have shared personnel within their domestic leagues - defender Tinni Grímólfursson fans favourite and captain at Atlás Ciuredor while fiery midfielder Valtter Marvinsson is quickly gaining cult status at Haïtiens - players familiar with the pair will be disappointed not to meet up with them as neither made the cut for Bjarnveig Lyngarsdóttir's team despite their relative success in Tequilo. By contrast Pedro Rôa, going well for Altendalur in the GPL, has fought his way into contention with the national team despite not having the back history with coach Juan Manuel Botín who usually favours players who came through the junior ranks under his tutelage: Pedro did not make a single selection for the junior national teams. Haïtiens and Molding of course are part of the same 'football family', further strengthening football ties between these nations.

Despite the calmer atmosphere of the last game between Tequilo and the Dagans, Los Pitxileros lose two players to injury with key midfielder Ixtub Tün and defender Huracan both missing out. Scares for keeper Oscar Bienvenida and forward Alexandro Calvoecheaga, who both came off injured during the game, proved foundless, although the latter will start from the bench.

---

TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY
Competition goals: Ricardo Bailén (8) Tlacolotl (7) Niño Pinto (4) Pedro Rôa (3) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Xaime Medal (2) José Tavia, Milan Lucio, Huracan, Vilca Hualla (1) (own goals - 1)
Competition assists: Niño Pinto (5) Pedro Rôa, Ostando Bertendona (3) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Ricardo Bailén, Ixtub Tün, Tlacolotl (2) José Tavia, Xaime Medal, Huracan, Tsttnauayui (1)
Competition PoMs: Ixtub Tün (2) Tlacolotl, Pedro Rôa, Ricardo Bailén, Tol Chicote, Ostando Bertendona, Niño Pinto (1)
Competition cards: Tlacolotl (4 yellows, 1 red) Milan Lucio (3 yellows, 1 red) Ostando Bertendona (2 yellows, 1 red) Alexandro Calvoecheaga (1 red) Niño Pinto (2 yellows) Tepin Mecatl-Rubió, Emmanuel París, Ochoa Abril, Pedro Rôa, Huracan (1 yellow)

RECORDS WATCH
* Cassadiagua were the first former world champion beaten by Tequilo, now with three victories over them, while the only other is Banija (one victory). Cassadaigua are the only team Tequilo have beaten three times.
* Fourteen consecutive victories from the IAC through the first six games of the Eagles Cup is a new NT record, surpassing a previous of six in a row.
* Seventeen consecutive games unbeaten is a new national team record, surpassing a previous of eleven games.
* Ricardo Bailén became first player to score in five consecutive internationals for Tequilo away to Cassadiagua, and Tlacolotl achieved the same feat in the same match
* Sanço (21), the leftback from Benemérito, made his debut against Cassadaigua.
* Oscar Bienvenida will became the first player to reach 90 caps for his country in the semi-final win against Cassadaigua; Tlacolotl is the next nearest and will make his 87th appearance in that match.

* Noxochinoch will reach a half century of caps with his selection in for the final first XI, and becomes the seventh player to do so for the Tequilo NT.
* Tlacolotl needs one goal to become the first player to reach 60 goals for his country - the next nearest is Niño Pinto (22). He can also add to his player of the match awards record (15), Niño Pinto being the nearest with 10.
* Alexandro Calvoecheaga could become the first player to get three red cards for the national team.

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Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Græntfjall
@ The Eagle's Club in Dodoma, Bunyoro Region (capacity 48,600)
(4-1-3-2)
Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Ostando Bertendona, José Tavia, Tol Chicote, Diogo Junco | Noxochinoch | Vilca Hualla (C), Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Pedro Rôa

Unavailable: Tsttnauayui, Huracan, Ixtub Tün (injured)

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LETTERS OF THE WEEK
When it needs saying and you're not afraid to say it...

---

Good morning everyone. We have letters!

Regular correspondent Rùben Curto of Chanco Cóndor wants to remind us that the Agave-Blues could win themselves an Eagle's Club official portacabin in the car park of the National Stadium if they win in the Cup final tonight, which would be a tremendous achievement: "What a tremendous achievement," he says.

Quite predictably, Amitabh Mehta of Zwangzug ['of course you can have an All-Star XI without a goalkeeper', Saturday's Letters] has got you all a-dither with their controversial assertion that brilliant players don't need a prancing eccentric show-off hopping about behind them pretending to understand what's going on.

Sergeant Major Disòhaxu of the Army yells: "Fubar! Discipline comes from having your superiors shouting instructions to you from the rear where they can think clearly on your behalf. That's the problem with today's generation, think they can do it all for themselves, no respect for the proper authority - " ...and so on.

Furioso de Tacranza doesn’t wish to speak for everyone when he shouts: “I don’t wish to speak for everyone but I am FURIOUS about this."

Young Juliett Lirraytegui, aged 6 and three quarters of Lima scrawls: "On a different note, if your correspondent likes Oscar, I would point them in the direction of Romeo Sierra, marauding midfielder for my local team Tango Lima. My Papa loves him." As is often the case with letters from Young Juliett, it does have an echo of your father Mike having written this note himself with his wrong hand in the hope of getting published under the 'look at this cute letter from a little girl, isn't it sweet' category. Bravo Papa Mike. Bravo.

Finally Tord Ratinusk writes all the way from Wight: "Good luck in the Eagles Cup final, and see you in the World Cup! Did I tell you we won the World Cup once? I did?" You did, Tord. In almost every letter you've ever written to us.

If you would like to show off about your nation's various title victories, want to disagree with our correspondents or just like to share your opinion on the pitxi, please drop us a line at Letters To The Editor, spambucket@gola.teq or slowmail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé.¹.

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[1]Or TG Tequilo and we'll be sure to publish you in the next edition of the DAILY! We love foreign correspondents.

Quotes from: Bear Bryant, Billie Jean King, George Steinbrenner, Mark Spitz, Vin Scully, Diego Godin, Hailie Deegan, Alan Shearer, Mia Hamm, Jack Nicholson's Joker, The Irreverend Martín Costello, Zack Greinke

[Turori]

With defeat in the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy Final, the Island Emirate of Turori have once again failed to deliver for Nigel's Army and their fan base. After generations of failing to advance beyond the Quarter Finals of the World Cup, breaking through that barrier during World Cup 81 seemed to be the turning point that Turori needed to embark on a new generation of triumph and victory. Instead, it has only resulted in Turorian fans getting a new kind of disappointment - Trophy Final Defeats.

After winning twice over Graintfjall in the Group Stage, Turori will have to watch from the sidelines as Graintfjall take on Cup of Champions winners Tequilo in the Eagle's Cup X Final.

 Turori [0] - [1] Graintfjall
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	 - None               		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 49%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 4	Graintfjall 	:: Possession: 51%:: Shots: 6:: Corners: 6
	Lineup:	[GK] Derizi Amatopa, [D.] Bvalis Amaanara, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [ML]  Kinabo Telioa, [MC]  Lati'ala Giaoka, [MC] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [MC]  Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [MR]  Naraiza Ruaplal, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki, [FC] Lutara Makakio			
	Bench:	[FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Turakia Diijelhma, [M] Friika Diirotora, [M] Daliora Toru'u, [U ] Kala'a Yuliizala, [D] Lulu Pumaziiri, [GK] Timaala Hualtia

The Tequlio v. Græntfjall matchup in the Eagle's Cup X Final will ensure that the tradition of new winners in every edition will continue once more, and a new member is sure to be invited to the Eagle's Club. While both Kingsford and Banija have blown their own chances to become the first two-time Eagle's Cup winners in Eagle's Cup III and IX respectively - Kingsford losing on Penalties to Turori in their second Final Appearance and Banija losing in Extra Time to Valanora in theirs, Turori have come the closest of all others in taking that second notch. It will be the second consecutive cycle that Turori will be relegated to the Bronze Medal Game and the fourth time that Turori have been defeated in the Eagle's Cup Semi-Finals.

With both Tequilo and Graintfjall now having secured their place in the 11th Eagle's Cup as Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy and Cup of Champions winners, respectively, the risk has never been higher of an active former Eagle's Cup Champion missing out on an invite next cycle. Turori could solidify their spot with a victory in the Bronze Medal match over Cassadaigua while Valanora and Banija cannot miss out due to the recency of their Eagle's Cup Triumphs. Cosumar had been listed on the inactive register for Eagle's Cup X but there has recently been discussion that the Eagle's Club in Tyrion, Cosumar could be re-opened for business putting guaranteed tournament spots for Zwangzug and Nephara in future jeapordy.

While no Eagle's Club member has ever been denied entry to an Eagle's Cup in the past, with Six and potentially 7 Active Members leading into Eagle's Cup XI it is possible that the Eagle's Cup planning committee could make a change to the format for future Eagle's Cup competitions expanding the size of the Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy to accommodate additional past winners. Of course, all that will be driven by qualifications for the Cup of Champions which saw two past Eagle's Cup Champions qualify instead for the Cup of Champions half of the draw freeing up additional spots in this cycle's Cocoa-bo Challenge Trophy. A Full list of currently active Eagle's Club sites is as follows:

Eagle's Cup I	Eauz - Inactive
Eagle's Cup II	Kingsford - Inactive
Eagle's Cup III	Eelandii, Turori - HQ
Eagle's Cup IV	Bedistan - Inactive
Eagle's Cup V	Brinemouth, Nephara
Eagle's Cup VI	Forbridge, Zwangzug
Eagle's Cup VII	Cosumar - Inactive
Eagle's Cup VIII	Dodoma, Banija
Eagle's Cup IX	Sabinal, Valanora
Eagle's Cup X	TBD

[Eagles Club]

And the final cutoff for the Eagle's Cup X!

Thank you all for coming out for this tournament. I commend all the participants- participation in the prompts was a blast, and I had a ball of a time reading everybody's RP!

But you know what they say... The moment of truth has arrived. Either Græntfjall or Tequilo will claim themselves a trophy, and become permanent members of the Eagle's Club.

Are you ready for the moment of truth?

Host Note: My sincere apologies for forgetting to score the individual third place playoffs yesterday.

Played at the Eagle's Club(cap. of 48,600) in Dodoma, Bunyoro Region

Tequilo 3–0 Græntfjall
Tequilo are champions of the 10th Eagle's Cup, and are inducted as the 10th permanent member of the Eagle's Club. Congratulations to them!

Eagle's Cup Third Place Playoff

Cassadaigua 1–7 Turori

Cocoa-Bo Challenge Cup Third Place Playoff

Chromatika 0–1 Krytenia

Cup of Champions Third Place Playoff

Nephara 1–3 Banija

Thank you all very much for your participation, and I look forward to seeing you all at the next tournament!

[Tequilo]

RESPLENDENT EAGLES
TEQUILO 3-0 GRÆNTFJALL HT: 0-0

Location: @ The Eagle's Club in Dodoma, Bunyoro Region, Banija
Attendance: 48,600 of which 80% were lucky locals; with 4,800 crestfallen Græntfjallen; 4,791 carnivalesque Tequiloa and the Ultra-Mariachi Band (8 Sombreros + Dog).
Scorers: Tlacolotl 56' 77' Ricardo Bailén 83'
Assists: Niño Pinto 56' 77' Tlacolotl 83'
Booked: Noxochinoch | Magga Vilmarsdóttir
Sent Off: -
Tequilo Line-Up: (4-1-3-2) Oscar Bienvenida | Ostando Bertendona, José Tavia, Tol Chicote, Diogo Junco | Noxochinoch (sub: Çenturion 47') | Vilca Hualla (sub: Xaime Medal 60'), Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl (sub: Alexandro Calvoecheaga 84'), Pedro Rôa
Player of the Match: Tlacolotl (Tequilo)

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SECOND HALF MASTERCLASS WINS EXCLUSIVE CLUB MEMBERSHIP
Los Pitxileros completed a triumphant debut in the Eagles Cup with a strong second half display to overcome stubborn Græantfjall, and by lifting the trophy have assured themselves of full membership to the exclusive Club and all the trappings of such glory. Does that include a new stadium complex or is that just a rumour? Right now Juan Manuel Botín and his boys won't care, as they focus on hard celebration of this a second trohpy in quick succession after the IAC title. How far can this team go? Well, we'd at least like them to go to Cassadaigua and/or Chromatika for the World Cup, as belief grows that a qualification might finally be on the cards. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here, lest we be accused of gloating. Right now, let's focus on the immediate: twenty two crates of fizzy blotwine and some football songs from the Ultra-Mariachi band please! It's time to party.

Victory was provided mostly in the form of that man Tlacolotl, with two goals and an assist for the other outstanding player of the tournament for Tequilo, Ricardo Bailén. But beyond the headlines, it was a master tactical change that probably won the game for the Agave-Blues. With the game deadlocked and both sides looking impenetrable as they cancelled each other out, defensive midfielder Noxochinoch picked up an injury just after the second half kick-off. Instead of replacing like for like, coach Juan Manuel went for a second attacking midfielder in the form of Çenturion, to play alongside Niño Pinto, and the move was enough to tip the balance in Tequilo's favour as they overwhelmed the Snow She-Wolves in the forward areas. With so much attacking intent behind him and a good understanding between the new midfield partners leading to excellent movement into wide spaces, it created room for striker Tlacolotl to thrive in a false-9 role, influencing play significantly and yet still finding enough advanced positions to hit the first two goals of the game, breaking Græntfjall hearts. Ricardo Bailén's goal to complete the victory came as the She-Wolves defense had lost shape and hope with the roving pair Niño Pinto and Çenturion overloading full-backs or dragging centre-halves out of line; Tlacolotl given space and time to dictate play and Bailén having the freedom to drop inside where he picked up Tlacolotl's neat blind pass to score and finish the game.

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TEQUILO FINAL STAT SUMMARY
Competition goals: Ricardo Bailén, Tlacolotl (9) Niño Pinto (4) Pedro Rôa (3) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Xaime Medal (2) José Tavia, Milan Lucio, Huracan, Vilca Hualla (1) (own goals - 1)
Competition assists: Niño Pinto (7) Pedro Rôa, Ostando Bertendona, Tlacolotl (3) Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Ricardo Bailén, Ixtub Tün (2) José Tavia, Xaime Medal, Huracan, Tsttnauayui (1)
Competition PoMs: Tlacolotl, Ixtub Tün (2) Pedro Rôa, Ricardo Bailén, Tol Chicote, Ostando Bertendona, Niño Pinto (1)
Competition cards: Tlacolotl (4 yellows, 1 red) Milan Lucio (3 yellows, 1 red) Ostando Bertendona (2 yellows, 1 red) Alexandro Calvoecheaga (1 red) Niño Pinto (2 yellows) Tepin Mecatl-Rubió, Emmanuel París, Ochoa Abril, Pedro Rôa, Huracan, Noxochinoch (1 yellow)

RECORDS WATCH
* Fifteen consecutive victories from the IAC through the Eagles Cup is a new NT record, surpassing a previous of six in a row.
* Eighteen consecutive games unbeaten is a new national team record, surpassing a previous of eleven games.
* Ricardo Bailén became first player to score in five consecutive internationals for Tequilo away to Cassadiagua, and Tlacolotl achieved the same feat in the same match
* Sanço (21), the leftback from Benemérito, made his debut in the Eagles Cup (Cassadaigua, group stage).
* Oscar Bienvenida became the first player to reach 90 caps for his country in the semi-final win against Cassadaigua - he now has 91; Tlacolotl is the next nearest (88).
* Cassadiagua were the first former world champion beaten by Tequilo, now with three victories over them, while the only other is Banija (one victory). The Dagans are the only team Tequilo have beaten three times.
* Noxochinoch reached a half century of caps with his selection for the final, and becomes the seventh player to do so for the Tequilo NT.
* Tlacolotl is the first player to reach 60 goals for his country (now 61) - the next nearest is Niño Pinto (22). He also added to his player of the match awards record (16), Niño Pinto being the nearest with 10.