World Bowl XLI Everything Thread

by **Chromatika** » Fri Feb 26, 2021 11:01 pm

The Iron Legion in World Bowl XLI
Part 1: Rocky Beginnings

When Chromatika decided to host World Bowl XLI, it was with the hopes that the Iron Legion would have a decent chance at making it to the knockout rounds of the tournament. It would be the greatest example of the sport to ever be on Chromatik soil... And then the draw happened. When Death Templars Law Firm representative George Hermon Jr. drew Chromatika into a group with both Abanhfleft and Ranoria, everyone who cared about gridiron football in Chromatika all drew a collective sigh. To have both a title contender in Ranoria as well as a powerhouse in Abanhfleft would mean that it would be very difficult.

In this tournament, only two teams per group will make it to Chromatika. As the third seeded team in the group, that means Chromatika has to either overthrow Abanhfleft or Ranoria. Would the be up to the task?

The first game of the tournament was a nightmare for the Iron Legion. Kenner Jones threw two interceptions and fumbled the ball twice (with one of them being recovered by Mikel Kingston). Alessandra Mio had two dropped passes. Niles Gwivern ran into Kimberly Fowler. The Iron Legion were contained to 180 yards of offense (mostly coming from Fowler, who had 50 yards). After the game, there was calls for Eustance Hampton, Jr. to bench Kenner Jones. After one game! Perhaps that was because of the fact that Sarai Gwenderyn had such a great season at the helm of FSU. However, Hampton was adamant that Jones was the starting Quarterback, saying, "Abanhfleft is a quality opponent. There is no shame in losing to them, and I believe that we'll be able to bounce back."

That trust in Jones proved to be the correct choice, or maybe it was just the level of opponent in Silvenania. The unranked squad had no chance against the Iron Legion as Mi-Hyeon Park and Cara Setri sacked the opponent four times and the Iron Legion held Silvedania to 200 yards of offense. Jones went 30-for-38 for 318 yards and two touchdowns, both to Alessandra Mio, while Kimberly Fowler added a pair of scores on the ground. Coupled with a punt return for touchdown by Cameron Pills-Otts and three long range field goals by Sarai Gwenderyn, the Iron Legion showed their class with a 44-0 drubbing.

Now, they'll have to take on HUElavia, whom they must beat in order to have any chance of making it to the next round. Then, the matchup against Ranoria awaits.

"We're making progress," stated Hampton, "We'll hit our stride eventually."

by **Chromatika** » Fri Feb 26, 2021 11:25 pm

So, how's it going a quarter of the way through for some of you? Let's see how the third day of matches treat you!

Matchday 3

Group A Bye: Abanhfleft
Silvedania 13–41 Ranoria
HUElavia 0–17 Chromatika

Group A                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Chromatika                                        3    2   1    61   20  +41
2 Ranoria                                           2    2   0    63   23  +40
3 Abanhfleft                                        2    1   1    30   22   +8
4 HUElavia                                          2    1   1    29   24   +5
5 Silvedania                                        3    0   3    20  114  −94

Group B Bye: Tumbra
Appalachian Nation 27–13 Equestria
Banija 20–6 Squidroidia

Group B                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Squidroidia                                       3    2   1    54   41  +13
2 Appalachian Nation                                3    2   1    33   26   +7
3 Banija                                            2    1   1    20    9  +11
4 Equestria                                         2    1   1    27   34   −7
5 Tumbra                                            2    0   2    25   49  −24

Group C Bye: Allamunnic States
Hebitaka 7–13 Anthor
Geektopia 28–0 Augusticinia

Group C                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Geektopia                                         2    2   0    64    3  +61
2 Allamunnic States                                 2    2   0    16    3  +13
3 Anthor                                            2    1   1    16   14   +2
4 Hebitaka                                          3    1   2    24   56  −32
5 Augusticinia                                      3    0   3     7   51  −44

Group D Bye: Sarzonia
Xanneria 13–0 Kriegiersien
BohemiaIV 7–29 Cassadaigua

Group D                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Cassadaigua                                       3    3   0    96   44  +52
2 Xanneria                                          3    2   1    72   45  +27
3 Sarzonia                                          2    1   1    46   53   −7
4 Kriegiersien                                      2    0   2    21   39  −18
5 BohemiaIV                                         2    0   2    17   71  −54

Group E Bye: Kohnhead
South Newlandia 0–13 Ko-oren
Saint Kanye 13–0 The Dessicated States

Group E                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Ko-oren                                           2    2   0    20    3  +17
2 Saint Kanye                                       2    1   1    19    9  +10
3 Kohnhead                                          2    1   1    33   30   +3
4 South Newlandia                                   3    1   2     9   29  −20
5 The Dessicated States                             3    1   2    33   43  −10

Group F Bye: United Volcano Isles
TJUN-ia 25–24 Drawkland
Greater Vakolicci Haven 24–7 Saint-Domingues

Group F                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 TJUN-ia                                           3    3   0    48   34  +14
2 Drawkland                                         2    1   1    36   25  +11
3 Greater Vakolicci Haven                           2    1   1    31   17  +14
4 United Volcano Isles                              2    1   1    38   26  +12
5 Saint-Domingues                                   3    0   3    24   75  −51

Group G Bye: The Transmodian Commonwealth of New England
Smosh games 3–0 Saltstead
Karditan 10–7 Royal Kingdom of Quebec

Group G                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Karditan                                          2    2   0    25   10  +15
2 The Transmodian Commonwealth of New England       2    2   0    32   22  +10
3 Royal Kingdom of Quebec                           3    1   2    50   29  +21
4 Smosh games                                       3    1   2     6   42  −36
5 Saltstead                                         2    0   2     6   16  −10

Group H Bye: Delaclava
Sword Island 6–10 Newmanistan
Northwest Kalactin 19–3 Mapletish

Group H                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Northwest Kalactin                                2    2   0    62   12  +50
2 Newmanistan                                       2    2   0    40   30  +10
3 Delaclava                                         2    1   1    54   47   +7
4 Mapletish                                         3    1   2    26   49  −23
5 Sword Island                                      3    0   3    15   59  −44

by **The Desiccated States** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:13 am

Group E – MD3

      1   2   3   4   F
TDS   0   0   0   0   0
STK   0   7   6   0  13
BOX                                                TDS  STK
2   Noah Sherman 2 yard rush (James Rasputin kick)   0    7
3   James Rasputin 48 yard field goal    	     0   10
    James Rasputin 45 yard field goal    	     0   13

“Clear eyes…
Full hearts…
Can’t lose!”

Breathing apparatus clicked and environmental control suits hummed; otherwise, there was silence inside the huddle. Everyone gazed at Ensign Mornwulf – down on one knee, but, given his 7 foot frame, still standing fairly tall. He sensed mild bemusement; when it came from near-on fifty people gathered around him, the effect was somewhat less than mild. He held up a hand, the translucent skin showing the long bones of the finger that the doctors had re-set during the last game.

“OK, that was on me. I didn’t explain well. Let’s try again – this time, try to join in.”

He cleared his throat.

“Clear eyes…
Full hearts…”

Eyes, ranging from bright blue sapphires to dark red fires, gazed unblinkingly at him. In Dahu’s case, that was because she didn’t have eyelids. What was everyone else’s excuse?

“Can’t…?”

Technician Terberis thoughtfully scratched the mossy shoots starting to sprout from the slate-grey underside of his chin-rock. Some of the players had adopted the custom of growing out their beards. For the Crags, that was particularly itchy.

Ensign Mornwulf sighed. They still weren’t quite getting it. It was an unusual situation he found himself in. Technically, officers like Lt. Cdrs. Muskukki and Nonopalet were vastly senior to him. Prior to the tournament, he would barely have had cause to even speak to someone like Lt. Cdr. Hammerman, except to turn in a duty roster. Now, he was expected to command all of them. He could sense the resentment in Major Szilveszter, a decorated and long-serving diplomatic specialist now being yelled at for not running fast enough by a green young ensign.

“It’s a chant the primitives perform before games to improve their motivation. Lt. Chiasson suggested we could adopt it. After the last match…”

An ugly wave of negative emotions washed over him so powerfully he was actually rocked off balance. To a man (woman, herm, drone, and other, too) everyone felt lousy about the performance they’d put in against Saint Kanye after the excitement of the first victory. The fumbles, the penalties, the missed kicks, the dropped pass in the endzone by Lt. PH03B3. They’d blown it, and they were wallowing in the shame of the dismal performance. The young empath wondered how someone like the captain dealt with being around emotions like this all the time.

“Forget about that,” he said curtly. “What I meant was, I thought it might help us bond as a team if we all join in the chant, like the primitives do. So, one more time. I’ll say the words and you try to say them along with me.

“Clear eyes…yes, Crewman Grarraddegg?”

The Gus began gesticulating wildly with three of his arms.

“You don’t have any eyes.”

Chief Hum raised xir hand, too. Xir single eye blinked at the Ensign. Or was that a wink?

“Chief, I think I know what you’re going to say too.”

“Nor do I,” said Lt. PH03B3. “I do however possess two Class 9 Optical Sensor Arrays, complete with multi-harmonic spectral sequencing augmentation…”

“Yes, Lieutenant.”

“…bifocal imaging scanners with a 1 to 10 million resolution, built-in resonance frequency analysis…”

“Yes, Lieutenant.”

“…with Type Y multi-amalgamative scanner cores…”

“Yes, Lieutenant! Would you, perhaps, just for today’s practice, be willing to refer to them as eyes, though?”

“I am sensing frustration,” said the empathic android. “I will comply.”

“And Crewman, Chief? It’s about all our eyes. So if you have one or two or six or none at all…”

Lt. Praubes blinked several hundred times at once.

“…or quite a few more…”

Cadet Vevkano tilted ħer head, the mirror-latticed surfaces of ħer compound eye reflecting Mornwulf’s image in a thousand splinters.

“…let’s just all say ‘clear eyes’.”

He detected general accord, mixed in with some low-level resentment. A sharp spike of boredom drew his attention to the yawning Kailyn Greystark, but he looked away when her own – somewhat less-than-clear – eyes settled on him. The flush of embarrassment he felt was in turn picked up by the empaths among his own players. Lt. PH03B3 chirruped with laughter.

“Now, from the top,” he said, his voice growing sterner as he tried, desperately, to get the ritual going once more.

“Clear eyes…
“Full hearts…”

At least c hands shot up, including a couple belonging to the Gus.

“I see where I went wrong there. Again, it doesn’t necessarily mean you literally have a full heart…”

“I am equipped with an Internal Fluid Capacity Pro-Motor, linked to a Cyber-Vascular Distribution Node Interface…”

“Yes thank you Lieutenant.” His brusque tone drew a momentary flush from the Lieutenant, who technically outranked him.

“When the primitives talk about hearts, they don’t mean this.” He pointed to his chest. He was bare-chested – they’d just completed a game of ‘shirts v skins’ touch-football as a morale-booster; inside his own translucent torso, a large heart pumped steady bursts of white blood through his system. “They’re talking about spirit. About…”

He sighed and tried to conjure up an appropriate image.

“Do you remember, when Mr Rudd got his pick, Ensign Dahu was so excited she let Xanderick ride her shell? How Lt. Azurisz, even though she’s injured, was flying around when Ensign Silver made her big run? How Lt. Zaaqa was jumping up and down yelling at Commander Aricmarc to put in a block for Miss Greystark when she was running back that punt almost all the way? That’s having a full heart.”

There were nods of various heads, including both of Jjuuddeerrbbiiddiill’s. He sensed dawning comprehension, amidst a complex soup of other emotions: his mention of Xanderick, suspended to prevent him getting injured, had brought sadness, and of Lt. Zaaqa had summoned remorse, the popular nursing officer currently layed up injured. Greystark’s name brought a shadow of resentment. He even got a shot of levity, with a few perhaps recalling the giant pile of guano Azurisk had dumped in protest at a penalty decision against Lt. Boarsblood.

“OK. One more time.

“Clear eyes…”

Half of them joined in.

“Full hearts…”

Everyone, now.

“CAN’T LOSE!”

In the stillness afterwards, Lt. PH03B3’s hand was raised.

“Lieutenant.”

“Actually, I have calculated a 67.02478901625384911% chance that we can lose…Ensign! I am sensing severe frustration!!”

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 9:52 am

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XLI RECAP: MATCHDAY ONE

Abanhfleft      7  0 10  3  20
Chromatika      0  0  0  0  0

Over here in Gaelic Gamers, we prefer to not dwell on the past. We prefer to let let the future unfold into the present before our very own eyes and look forward rather than backwards. The past should remain in the past, I always say. It's always the time to look forward to new horizons and possibilities. There's no use lingering in the past, because there's just no way that we can change it... Oh, who am I kidding? I'm still fucking hung up from that last World Bowl game. You know what I'm talking about, don't ye? Don't even bother tryna deny it. That game against Ranoria was just godawful in every sense of the word. Picks, fumbles, incompletions, crappy time management; you name it, either we or Ranoria did it. It was like these two teams were in a competition to see who could be the shittier team. I'm not even kidding when I say that. The Ranorians might disagree, but that's a given since their team won. And like an itch that just won't go away after scratching it to the point of bleeding, we're due to face them again for this World Bowl, not just once but twice! Twice! But we'll get to that later. Right now, I'd say we're more focused on the hosts, which is Chromatika.

You should know by now that not all tournaments are run the same by their hosts. Some hosts let everyone who's qualified come to their country and battle it out inside the host country's stadia. Others, like Chromatika in our case right now, opt to have the group stage played out in a literal home-and-away format. I never really understood the logic behind this kind of tournament, although if Chromatika were in some way cash-strapped then maybe I could. But I don't know. What I do know is that this could be a good chance to get used to conditions in the host country, even if it's just for a few days instead of the month or so that a tournament that occurs in the host nation in full would usually take. But speaking about stage fright, it looked like it was Chromatika and their Iron Legion which suffered from the nerves of playing in front of their home crowd. I ain't gonna sugarcoat it; the home side was just really poor this game. I distinctly remember at least two picks happening and at least two fumbles. One pick I think actually got returned for a touchdown. Might even be our first score of the whole damn tournament if my memory serves.

I guess you could chalk it down to Chromatika being forced to go to the air after their usual ground game got stifled by our guys. Our offensive line is quite porous if you look at their stats in the FNLAF (Fleftic National League of American Football) and PGSL (Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League), but on the day they proved to be quite the match for the Iron Legion's backs. Their usual game plan of eating up the clock by sticking to the ground and gaining those yards wasn't really working, so they had to start throwing. And their inexperience in it showed, I'm sad to say. I'm sorry, but some of those incomplete passes just shouldn't have been dropped by any high school receiver, let alone an elite World Bowl-level player.

But all this is disguising the fact that the Armoured Revolutionaries are also a bit rusty and dire as well. Wes Soderlund didn't look like he was still comfortable throwing those bombs. Maybe something to do with the shoulder surgery he had to undergo during the offseason. He threw a pick himself but our defense made sure that the Iron Legion wouldn't be able to make anything of it though. There are still holes to pick in this Abanhfleft team, but because we won against the hosts, everyone else is going to gloss over them. Even the coaching staff themselves. And I'm pretty that's gonna bite our arse come the time we have to play Ranoria. Which need I mention is the game after this one? I'm not gonna lie, I'm not looking forward to playing those guys, especially in the state our team is in right now. I'm just sure it won't end well for us at all. Adeodato Schiavo, Adeodato Schiavo, Adeodato Schiavo....

by **Tumbra** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 12:44 pm

A nondescript hotel in Equestria
World Bowl MD2
11pm

"All right, I know two losses in a row have been greatly disappointing, but it's going to get slightly better from here on out. We've got our bye, then we've got the Appalachian Nation - who, despite somehow being 2-0 up, are about the same strength as us - then we've got Banija," said Brown, perhaps a bit more glumly than he would've liked to come off, to the assembled team. It was 11pm, they'd just lost 14-7 to Equestria courtesy of two touchdowns from them and one from Marr, and the mood was low. Many were already nodding off , victims of the vicious jetlag that had taken over. "But first, I'd like to say something..."

"We know we're in the World Bowl, boss," Dan Waters said, lounging lazily in a chair eating grapes. "We're just surprised it took you this long to tell us. Alright boys, whomever had him on revealing it after the match against Equestria - I think that's seven of us, me included - get about a hundred bucks each. The rest of you lot, tough luck, though personally anyone who knows Coach knows that he wouldn't be able to keep this a secret beyond the seventh matchday --"

"Dan."

"Right. Sorry, boss." Waters straightened up in his chair and put the bowl of grapes down.

"As Dan has...helpfully...let us know, yes, we are indeed in the World Bowl. I'm sorry for deceiving you for this long --"

"About thirty of us thought you'd hold off for longer --"

"Dan."

"Right."

"Yes. If we manage to win most of our remaining games, we'll be in for a shot of qualifying for the final tournament, in Chromatika. But I really, really don't want you to focus on making it. We are representing Tumbra - though nobody at home really knows that - but that shouldn't be the main focus either. All I really want you to do is to focus on playing as well as possible - bugger winning - and I want us to come out of these six remaining matches stronger as a team so we'll be able to win the next University Challenge."

"...Really?"

"What is it, Dan?"

"Coach, we literally have the world for the taking, and you're telling us to not go for it and instead settle for what, going 3-5 or something? And then tell us to win in the University Challenge? Some of us won't be here next season. It's our one chance to secure a legacy! We could return as World Bowl champions!"

"Dan, I don't think you really understa--"

"He's right, Coach," Sebastian Neumann piped up. "Some of us here are already in our final year in the university, and--"

"Uh-uh-uh-uh, blondie, I'm talkin' 'ere," Dan shushed Sebastian. "...yeah, what he said. Think about it. We could go for glory! And we'll leave this place knowing we did our country well. And after all, if we do well, maybe the country'll get more interested. Isn't that why you signed us up for this in the first place, innit Coach?"

"What? The hell? Who told you that?" Charlie shot a glance back at Harry, who shrugged and looked away in response.

"Nobody. I just figured it out."

"I--really---dismissed! I'll see you in the lobby at nine tomorrow. And nobody should leak a word of this to the press, unless --"

Brown's attention focused on the 55th person in the room - a young, bespectacled woman scribbling down words on a piece of paper. He'd seen her around campus...and she worked for the Campus Daily.

"Ah, fuck it. I'll just prepare my resignation letter."

by **TJUN-ia** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 1:51 pm

After another tight win, this time on the road at Saint-Domingues, put up at 2-0, the Jaguars were returning to the Field of Dreams for what could be the biggest contest of this World Bowl campaign so far. At 2-0, things were looking good - albeit a little shaky due to just how little points were being scored in games - but any doubts about this team and on what Gus McKerrin were about to be challenged in the biggest way possible, as the top seeds in the group were coming to The Gardens of New Washington. For the last 2 seasons, that has meant Cassadaigua - and we all know how those contests went - but this time around, we had another former champion taking on the 15th seeds - the 6th ranked Grid Corp of Drawkland, a team well known for being both very tall and very aggressive. If we were somehow going to take these guys down, then Gus needed to keep up with the pace as much as he could.

The first half just showed just how tight the contest was going to be, with the aggressive play of the Grid Corp turning the heat up really fucking quickly. They were certainly a unit not to be messed with and they would score the first TD of the contest in quick time, Dustin Beck finding Toby Miller for a 15-yard score. They went for the two points, a theme of their play, and Trey Council would be the one to convert with his catch - 8-0 Drawk. TJUN-ia would drive down themselves for a TD of their own, Jake Griffin finding Jack Davidson for a 23-yard TD, but instead of trying to go for two, on came Chi On-Ma to convert and it was now 8-7. McKerrin's thought process was simple: because Drawk employed on the 2PC so much, they surely must know how do defend it effectively as well. It was too risky to use the Grid Corps weapons against them and so, Chi would become a huge player in this contest for the Jags - but not as big as he would come the end of the game. The Grid Corp would find their mojo once again in the 2nd quarter to get an easy TD for Beck - and another 2PC at that. Griffin responded again with a long 45-yard bomb to Hubert Valois and, once again, Chi would convert the extra point. At half time, it was Grid Corp 16-14 Jags and many were wondering whether Gus would change it up before the opposition began to seriously pull away.

The second half would be just like the first but this time, the defensive lines would start to have more impact on the game as a whole. The lines, led by Mohammad Al-Khalifa and Mathis Southers, found some hidden momentum and began to control the pace of scoring in this contest a lot more. Things began to slow down and possession would become the ultimate commodity in the blink of an eye. Gus was looking for an advantage to help ease the nerves of the crowd and he would get near the end of the 3rd quarter, as Griffin ran from 15-yards out and managed to snake his way into the endzone. Now, the 2CP was attempted and it would be a one-and-done - Griffin finding Chris Davidson to make it 22-16 in favour of the Jags. But Drawkland weren't just gonna lay down and die after having the lead taken off them and they would certainly come into the 4th with a fire in their bellies. Beck found Daniel Madison for the score which was, of course, complemented by a 2CP. The Grid Corp led 24-22 and with 7 mins left on the clock, TJUN-ia needed something big from their drive. They would certainly try and make something of it but in the end, they were forced to punt - many wondering if that would be the final time the Jags would have the ball. With just under 3 mins left, however, the game changed as, at around the halfway point on the field, Beck was picked off by a long-reaching Graham Polison - the first INT of the campaign and a big moment in this contest. Gus decided that a FG would be best to try and go for and so, slowly but surely, the offence brought us to within range of the sticks. The clock was burned down to just 4 secs before the TO was called. That left Chi to try and produce one of the biggest kicks of his career to try and walk off this contest for the Jags. Over to you, JBBST!

Now then...here we are. Chi On-Ma is gonna have to try and win this one. He's always been a consistent one in his kicking, but I don't think he's had to deal with a potential walk-off just yet - and a potential upset walk-off at that. They're holding their breaths in Drawkland and they will be in New Washington. The crowd will let you know...
.
.
.
(Absolute chaos ensues)

The kick was good and the fans stormed the Field of Dreams once again. TJUN-ia had knocked-off the #6 Grid-Corp 25-24 in an absolute classic of a game. Next up for the Jags is the United Volcano Islands before the bye, but I don't think anyone is concerned about that game at the moment. TJUN_ia has done it again and at 3-0, they certainly are on the right track. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Group F)
MD1: vs Greater Vakolicci Haven (24) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 10-7 (2nd)
MD2: @Saint-Domingues (UR) W 13-3 (1st)
MD3: vs Drawkland (6) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 25-24 (1st)
MD4: @United Volcano Islands (UR)
MD5: BYE
--------------------------BREAK--------------------------
MD6: @Greater Vakolicci Haven (24)
MD7: vs Saint-Domingues (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD8: @Drawkland (6) - Metro Arena, Metropolon
MD9: vs United Volcano Islands (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD10: BYE

by **Kriegiersien** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 3:15 pm

Schoenwetter Herald

Kriegiersiens Football team at World Bowl XLI far away from advancing.

With already two clear losses against Xanneria and Sarzonia, even before the match against number one Cassadaigua, the chances to advance for the Kriegiersien team nearly vanished. The squad never showed enough quality to beat their opponents, neither in defense nor offense.
Critics suspect that the team wants to focus more on defending the Arena World Cup title and are trying to drop out of the World Bowl as fast and easy as possible.

"That is nonsense", said Coach Jean-Claude Tushar, while hiding a suitcase with sticker from HUElavia on it. "We really want to win here, we played the last time the Arena Bowl and the Olympics at nearly the same time, too. Yes, we failed at the Olympics back then, but...but...look behind you, a three headed monkey!"
He then left faster than his Running Backs. Like his team will soon the stage of the World Bowl.

by **Newmanistan** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 3:17 pm

THE ROCKET REPORT

MILLER ACCUSATION SHOCKS TEAM

By Taylor Larson,

Just prior to Newmanistan's second World Bowl 41 game, coming on the third matchday of the campaign in Sword Island, a shocking post from a 19-year old named Jessica Schaefer on social media was the talk of everyone associated with the team. Schaefer alleged that her now ex-boyfriend, Bryce Miller, assaulted her in a hotel room they were renting in Putnam Lake following the couple’s going to the hotel bar for the World Cup qualifying soccer match between Newmanistan and Tikariot. Schaefer claims that Miller became unusually agitated about the result, a 1-1 draw in matchday 17 that in all reality meant that the soccer team would not qualify for the World Cup, and he took it out on her. Here were the contents of the post:

“I can’t be silent about this any longer. It is the real reason Bryce and I are not dating anymore. A few months ago he got so drunk at a bar when we watched a soccer game together that he was not himself when we went back to the room. I don’t know if I had said something to trigger him, and I don’t know why he was so mad about the soccer game, but he flipped out. He slapped me once across the face and I thought that would be the end of it. I didn’t like it, but I felt I could handle it. You know, just kind of remember what he did. We sat down on the bed for a few minutes afterwards. He never apologized, and I was hoping he would. I said something about it still hurting and that is when he lost it. He picked me up and threw me into the wall, banged my head into it and hit me a few more times. I don’t know if there was more but that is what I remembered. After that all I remember is waking up.”

Friends of Schaefer asked her if anyone responded to the noise from the hotel room, and she gave some more information,

“I don’t remember anyone responding. I mean, you think they would have. Someone in a room nearby hearing all the commotion, but no, nothing ever happened to my knowledge. Maybe I passed out. I don’t remember everything, I only remember waking up that morning with bruises. He apologized to me that morning, but it was kinda half-assed. It was a couple seconds of an apology and then minutes of him instructing me what he needed to do to make sure no one ever knows what happened in the room. I was scared. Bryce Miller is a big man, 6’4” 288. I’m 5’5” 110. I had trouble with it, and eventually we broke up. Leading up to the breakup he just threatened me that he would make life difficult for me if I ever said anything. He also offered me $20,000 to shutup about that. I did not take the money.”

It is a terrible news story, and one that we will certainly be following here in The Rocket Report. It did not take long for the media on hand in Sword Island to begin asking to speak to Bryce Miller, a 23-year old starting outside linebacker seen as one of the best young defensive players in the entire Empire. He is in the second year of a seven year deal with the Putnam Lake Eagles, making $11 million per season. In Putnam Lake, Miller is coached by Bryan Moore, who by the way, is also the head coach of the Rockets World Bowl team. Moore stated that he would not be fielding any questions about Schaefer’s social media posts, and that he would support Bryce Miller for now unless more information showed that he should not. That infuriated members of the media as Miller was not made available to answer questions.

On the field, Newmanistan played to a 10-6 win over Sword Island with Bryce Miller playing the vast majority of the snaps in the game. However, you could also see that some members of the team were not comfortable playing alongside him, with Richard Clayborne notably refusing a high five from Miller after Clayborne picked up his first quarter interception. That was something only picked up by cameras and the media, so Clayborne did not have to hear about it from coach Moore at the time. After the game, no one wanted to talk about the victory as everyone with a press pass wanted Moore to justify how he could ever play Miller in this game, and even let him have so many snaps. Moore repeated the answer over and over again that he had given previously, which was that he would support his player unless more information comes out that he shouldn’t. Miller was again not made available to talk to the media.

Journalists across Newmanistan are calling for Miller to be removed from the team, and I, Taylor Larson, agree with them. These accusations are simply disgusting and something that you cannot have on a team. Yes, we need to have these things fully investigated, but the team needs to do the right thing and get Bryce Miller off the field. I also believe that coach Moore is standing with his player, because Miller is also his young phenom on the Eagles. It is only Bryan Moore’s second game of coaching this team, but if that is the way that things are going to be, then Moore also needs to be fired, and for that to happen now.

Bryce Miller did post on social media, and it is the only place that we have heard anything from him, that, “If I did all that, why did no one come to the hotel room and why did the cops never get called? Why are just hearing about this now if it really happened? Oh, that’s right, she’s a bitter ex-girlfriend who won’t have me to fund her life.”

by **Banija** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 3:37 pm

Banija recovers from ugly opening day loss in the Appalachian Nation, wins home opener on backs of strong defensive effort

Banijan fans tailgating at the Stadium of the Restoration

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- Over 90,000 fans packed the Stadium of the Restoration for Banija's home opener at World Bowl XLI. Of course, we were 0-1 heading into this game, with a road loss and a bye. It put the team in a tough position. "I don't want to say the words must-win this early in the group stages." Former national team quarterback Myles Debaba said on television before the game. "We've only had one game. But starting 0-2 would seriously put us behind the 8 ball. This isn't an extra short group stage, like World Bowl 38, thankfully. But if Squidroidia was 3-0 and we were 0-2, and they won in Busukuma, our chances at getting that top seed in the group would virtually be zero. And the pressure would really come down on the squad."

The Flyers came into the game playing some excellent football. In their opener on Matchday 1, they took it to Tumbra, opening the tournament with a 35-18 victory away from home over the unranked side. And then, to show their consistency and ability to play different styles, they won a smashmouth, grind it out, defensive battle against the Appalachian team that beat us, by a score of 13-3 at home. And now, their flight to Busukuma. Banija and Squidroidia are Pots 1 and 2 in the group. But with Tumbra showing promise, and Appalachian Nation stepping, it's going to be a real battle to get to the top two in this group.

But on this day, it was going to be all about Banija. Their offense was held in front of a raucous home crowd. Four false starts, a lot of that coming from the crowd noise here in Busukuma. And their offense could not get much of anything going. Sota Miyamoto did not have any sort of time to throw almost all day, nor did Stein Bell have many holes to run into. Thomamo Bontsi was particularly dominant on the edge, as he had four quarterback hits himself, including a sack. Miyamoto spent more time running for his life than anything else, and it shows why all their offense could manage was two long field goals. They did not enter the red zone once.

On offense, the Banijans ran the ball a lot, and simply wore their opponents down. We have the ability to throw it, of course- but we did it rarely. Like last tournament, start the tournament by pounding the rock, and getting Sello his carries. And in this game, we really held true to that. Sello had 29 carries for 166 yards and a touchdown, while Lamin Kah had a 3 yard touchdown reception on a fade to help power Banija over the Flyers. Both of Banija's touchdowns were in the first half- allowing us to gain control of the game early, and simply never let go of it.

Thomas Hall was happy with the performance. "We needed a response after our loss two weeks ago, and this was a great response by our boys." Coach Hall said. "Of course, there's still so much to play for. But this is the type of win that puts us on the right track. If we can establish the run, then we can do a lot more with the passing game later on, especially later on in the tournament. The show goes on from here, though. There's not much time to celebrate. We want to make the next round. It's time to get our stuff together and get ready for a trip to Canterlot. They will be a particularly challenging opponent as well for us." Both Equestria and Banija are 1-1. And with both teams losing away to the Appalachian Nation, it looks to be a good game between the two AO Southwestern rivals.

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:07 pm

Stadium and Quarterback assignments:

BYE
v Kohnhead - Het Planetarium, Sterrenwolde (46000) played by Aolif Arerira (injury replacement: Rem Plasman)
@ South Newlandia - played by Rem Plasman
v Saint Kanye - Northern Arena, Aevanna (32000) played by Rem Plasman
@ The Desiccated States - played by Aolif Arerira

BYE
@ Kohnhead - played by Aolif Arerira
v South Newlandia - Orange Bowl, Schemerdrecht (54000) played by Rem Plasman
@ Saint Kanye - played by Rem Plasman
v The Desiccated States - The Glacier, Launott (28000) played by Aolif Arerira

Both Plasman and Arerira have been assigned two opponents each. Arerira will try to exploit the Kohnhead defence which is prone to sit back and let the secondary to its thing and the Desiccated States defence which is tenacious and requires some figuring out. Arerira can air it out but will mostly beat these teams on the ground through intricate backfields and run plays. Plasman can beat the blitz heavy zone defences of South Newlandia and Saint Kanye by getting rid of the ball quick and sending the ball into the seams.

Ko-oren 7–3 Kohnhead

QB Plasman   20 C 34 A, 160 yds, 1 TD, 2 INT
WR Tharadhen 4 C 5 T, 64 yds, 1 TD
RB Galway    15 C, 73 yds

LB Barnett   13 T (8 Solo), 1 Sack, 3 TFL
CB Ensink    5 T (4 Solo), 1 TFL, 2 INT

Arerira dropped out of the warmups with some medical issues and was made to sit down for the first quarter at least. Plasman led the team in the first quarter and wasn't wholly unsuccessful. Arerira still showed some problems and definitely couldn't showcase his trademark run game, which means that Hardman had to push Plasman out there with Kosmauthaunden as a backup. Now I say 'not wholly unsuccessful', but this came down to converting several third downs more than consistently getting in the redzone. The clock ticked down fairly fast as Plasman did hand off the ball to the committee of running backs to avoid that stingy secondary, while Kohnhead were stuck between a rock and a hard place in their offence. The starting running back was ruled out and the Dragonflies, too, have a storied secondary. In the end, there were slightly more runs than passes as both offences were confronted by situations out of their control. That definitely contributed to the game's low offensive output: Kohnhead put 167 yards on the box score, Ko-oren managed 251. Let's blame start up issues, though our defence showed no signs of that while picking off Watford on four occasions. The special teams were passable but didn't add much to the game. Abner Bennett never got to kick a field goal, Withers was alright in pinning down the opposition when given the opportunity but had to punt from the Ko-orenite half a few times where he couldn't possibly be expected to land the ball in the 20. Bronsvoord was given free reign to return punts and kickoffs and did so intelligently, giving Plasman a field of 75 yards or less on every occasion.

South Newlandia 0–13 Ko-oren

QB Plasman        30 C 39 A, 294 yds, 1 TD
WR Head           3 C 4 T, 93 yds, 1 TD (78 yds LNG)
RB Thorebourne    18 C, 123 yds

DE Abráldez       15 T (7 Solo), 3.5 Sacks, 1 TFL, 2 FF, 1 FR
SS Turaundhinthen 4 T (4 Solo), 3 PD, 1 TFL, 1 INT

In a game that looked much more coherent than the last, OC Hardman actually got to prepare a game plan with the starting quarterback, and Plasman looked much better now he could anticipate to start a game. Arerira was still on the bench, not completely healed from the Kohnhead incident but will be back in time for the fourth game versus the Desiccated States. Two field goals and a touchdown was all that was needed to beat South Newlandia, an upstart team looking to break into the knockouts and upset Kohnhead and Saint Kanye in the process. Saint Kanye awaits, and there's a lot of work to be done for Batterink and his squad. Even for a team that's ranked in the top 5 with an outside chance for a fourth World Bowl title, this team gets underway very slowly each time. A rhythm must be established very early on in the next game to continuously pin down Saint Kanye, and we probably saw a rough blueprint of that versus the Elephants. Virtually indistinguishable colour-wise from our own uniforms, the level of play was noticeably different with Ko-oren, well, taking it quite easy. Plasman didn't have to force throws, and despite some pressure from the defensive line, usually had time to let plays develop and spread the ball around to pretty much every possible receiver on the roster. A slant by Head here, an overtop completion to Welsh there, a contested catch in traffic to Tharadhen, it was all on the menu en route to the redzone. Again, the big stars were on the defence but we obviously never expected any different. The pressure doesn't often come from the defensive line, but the pedestrian Elephant offence allowed Abráldez to go off for 3.5 sacks, two of which knocked the ball out, and he recovered one of them himself.

For the first time players will have to report to their clubs in between World Bowl preparations - the league season will see some odd timing with an early start to the season. Hopefully it won't mess up the schedule too much - we won't allow any delays to the World Bowl games themselves, but we'd like this team to show up well prepared.

by **Kohnhead** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:37 pm

Bye week media day as Kohnhead prepare for South Newlandia

Coach Sparks was among those who conferred with the media over the bye week

South Newlandia is a nation Kohnhead knows fairly well from the football and baseball worlds especially in football however their gridiron team is not a team we are familiar with. While we have a strong footing in NSCF and are a presence in the World Bowl for the third straight year, South Newlandia is sending its first ever team to the World Bowl and we will have our first ever meeting with them next Sunday. Members of the team and coaching staff were given a chance to talk to the media over our first bye week of the campaign following our loss to Ko-oren and before the game against South Newlandia. Notably Jackson Watford unlike normal was not present and refused to participate in talking to the media which is probably going to make everything worse but it isn't required or anything. Here are some of the highlights per say of the media day.

Note: These are highlights of longer interviews with the reporters questions cut out although you can probably make assumptions about the question asked.

Coach Sparks: Well we've seen South Newlandia know what they're doing with that upset week 1 against a very good team in Saint Kanye. They have done less well their last two matches with losses to The Dessicated States and Ko-oren and haven't scored since that win. We've seen their defense look really good and we've definitely been studying and watching film on how to stop that.

Yeah I'd agree that Antony Archer is one to watch out for and we do believe that we can successfully run against them. Kait (Kaitlin Deacon) will most likely be back at full strength I'd reason and I'm expecting her to have a good day.

I'm actually rather impressed by how well we played the first two matches and I think we can go far this time around definitely think we can make it past the Group Stage. I think the defense has really stepped up and I know the offense will be fine in the coming weeks, they just have a little to sort out.

Yes, Jackson is our starter and we have confidence in him enough said. Thank you for your questions and have a nice day I'll turn it over to Mitchell (Berger) now.

Mitchell Berger: Personally we aren't in the spot I know we can be and the spot I want us to be in but playing against Ko-oren is normally an anomaly in terms of your offensive production. Week 1 we scored 30 points and no matter the opposition or the or the context around that 30 points is very good and we played very well.

I have indeed been very impressed by Whitworth but he's a young sophmore in college with a lot to learn about gridiron at the next level. He's very much a part of the future and I expect his touches will increase as the tournament goes on as he adapts to the game. However he's currently third behind Deacon and Butler so don't expect too much out of him. Speaking of which the production out of all three backs has been great and even though you don't see it on the field Hartley's been putting in a lot of work.

Jackson and I have talked about what we need to work on for future games and we both feel good about the progress we've made it that regard. There was a decent amount of turnaround compared to last year's team and so we are still trying to see how the pieces fit around on gameday but we are definitely figuring it out. I think he's looked a lot better than the stats indicate out there and I expect his stats in particular that TD to interception ratio to change in reflection of that.

Leah Mooreville: Yes, Giovanni Read has looked very good for the Elephants but I think we have the talent on our line and with our backers to slow him down. We've looked very good against the run recently and there's no reason for that to change against South Newlandia.

They haven't scored in their last two games so we are definitely looking at what Ko-oren and TDS did against them to limit the offense. While we aren't Ko-oren in any regard I believe we have the personnel to do what needs to be done.

Big shoutout to Anne for that interception the first of many in her career, she's been a welcomed addition to the defense and if she continues to play like this we will be in a good position.

Some important takeaways from the conferences
1. Both Sparks and Berger seem unwilling to critisize Watford in the slightest and seem to either have ignored or don't want to talk about his playing. What exactly has Berger seen on the field from Watford that shows that he's playing better than the stats would suggest? He's played one half of decent football and had 70 something yards in it.

2. There's either something preventing critisicm of Watford or they just have seen something else from him at practices we can't go to. Like there isn't any other response, no coach is going to say he's played well so far because he just hasn't.

3. With that being said I'm still in on Watford as a player and definitely believe he can rebound and will get a lot better. I think this is an outlier stretch and he will rebound given his talent and the flashes that we've seen in years past.

4. Mooreville mentioned Anne Boyer without any prompting which speaks well on Boyer's playing. Personally I haven't been overly impressed with her although I haven't really noticed her which if you're a number two corner is probably a good thing.

5. I mean mentioning someone unprompted could be just nothing considering 34 year old Brett Hartley our fourth string running back was brought up by Berger. If he's been playing well at practice then go him, I just find it odd that this is who Berger goes out of his way to randomly praise Hartley.

6. This team is not taking South Newlandia lightly despite their offensive struggles as of late and their unranked ranking. We had lots of trouble with TDS and there's a reason South Newlandia upset Saint Kanye, they do have some talent and they were able to pull that off.

by **HUElavia** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 5:19 pm

HUElavia stalls out in Home Opener versus Hosts.

HUElavia 0–17 Chromatika
(Estadio Salvador, Sao Salvador)

After the dominant victory in the opener against Silvedania, HUElavia came into Matchday 3 looking to do well in their home opener in Estadio Salvador (85,000), in Sao Salvador. The team wore their new Home Uniform, along with the 1st Endzone style being picked for the match. The opponents were none other than the hosts of World Bowl XLI, Chromatika. Once again, with the commentary of Arthur Alves de Assunção and Michael Paradis, here's the highlights of the match.

Arthur Alves de Assunção: Here we are for the opening home game for HUElavia, hopefully it can be a memorable one! Are you ready Michael?
Michael Paradis: I sure am! The crowd is roaring and cheering, and it's an electric atmosphere here.
AAA: McAllister kicks the ball off and it's out for a touchback. 1st and 10 at the 25 for HUElavia.

AAA: This crowd is really stoked to be here, and they are showing their support for the team tonight. Gomez gets the ball going, short pass to Perez, and he's running! Taken down by Mattieu at the 48 yard line. 1st and 10 for HUElavia!
MP: Great screen pass by Gomez, he gives a short pass and the blocking is just right for Perez to squeeze through to get plenty of yards for the first.

AAA: 1st and 10 at the 48, Gomez sets Fernandez in motion, play in motion, gives a pass to Fernandez and he's running lose! Stopped by Jones for the 1st down at the 35 yard line.
MP: A nice little trickery to keep Chromatika off guard, and it's an easy play for HUElavia to get the first down.

AAA: After a 3 and out, Sanchez is going to try to score from 48 yards out. The kick is up... And it goes just narrowly to the right! No good!
MP: What a shame, it really looked like the ball was going to go just in, had enough power and strength, and it just goes out. A true shame.

AAA: 1st and 10 for Chromatika from the 38 yard line, Jones sets the ball in motion... Send a deep ball forward, incomplete! But there's a flag! And the crowd doesn't like it!
MP: Oh boy, terrible mistake by Amor on Sayan, let's see what the referee says:
Ref: Pass Interference. Defense. Number 21. Automatic 1st and 10 from the spot of the foul.
MP: Terrible move by Amor, really gave away too many yards.

AAA: After a solid hold from the defense, McAllister is going to try this from 35. She takes the kick and it's good. Chromatika up, 3-0.

AAA: Here we are late in the half, HUElavia is facing a 4th and goal at the 3 yard line with 4 seconds left. Gomez sets the ball in play, Silva gets the run, and he's stuffed. Turnover on downs.
MP: I feel they should've gone for a passing play, but Teixeira just wanted to go for it with a run, and it fell through. Halftime is still going to read a close score, and anything can happen.
AAA: Jones takes a knee and we're at the half.

AAA: It's halfway into the 3rd. 1st and 10 for Chromatika from the 28 yard line. Jones gives it Kaiser-Williams... There's a hole in the line, she's breaking through! Breaks past Sokolov! Gets past Fernandez! It's a foot race against Machado! He's not catching her! Touchdown Chromatika. A great run by Kaiser-Williams for 72 yards to the house.
MP: Great blocking from the offensive line, and she just went -WHOOP-, slid right through, and went all the way down for the score. Great play from Hampton Jr, making it 10-0.

AAA: 3rd and goal for HUElavia from the 7 yard line. It's late in the 3rd and HUElavia needs to get a score going, all other drives besides the opening one ended in a punt, and the other drive in a missed field goal. Gomez sets the pass, gets it to Fonseca, goes moving forward, hit by Setri... and the ball goes out! And it goes into the side by the endzone! Let's see what the referee says after reviewing this.
Ref: The runner did not cross the plain when the ball went out, it is ruled a fumble, goes out for a touchback. 1st and 10 for Chromatika.
MP: Ohh, what horrible luck! Such a great chance and it goes out for a loss of possession.

AAA: It's been a tough game for HUElavia, with less than 3 minutes left in the game and Chromatika has the ball. They've put in Gwenderyn as Quarterback to finish the game off. Gwenderyn sends the ball in motion. Sends a deep pass through... And it's caught! Mia's all alone and going all the way for 78 yards! Touchdown Chromatika!
MP: Terrible coverage by HUElavia, trying to cover other receivers, and they left Chromatika's one special weapon open, and it's an easy score for them, making it 17-0.

AAA: With one final knee down, Chromatika makes it 2-in-a-row and HUElavia drops their 1st game of the World Bowl. Frustrating game for Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos, and it's a tough loss.
MP: But they will learn from this. They're still growing and the team played decently, just some bad luck prevented the team from scoring.

The next game will be away at Ranoria, with the 7th Alternative Uniform being used. Here's to a better game.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **Ranoria** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 7:52 pm

Krauts 41, Silvedania 13:
4 observations as Vice Jackson III Leads Thrilling Victory

Photos: Ranoria's Trip To Silvedania
Krauts Move to 2-0 Ahead of daunting matchup against HUElavia

We were in control the entire game, without so much as a hiccup. Not even a hint of worry. Vice Jackson III handled most of the workload yet again as we keep John Garrett's arm in reserve, running only generic passing concepts thus far into the season. Here's our four observations.

More Dominance From The RFL's Best
Okay, arguably the RFL's best. If Jackson III was good against Abahnfleft, he was incredible against Silvedania. Our offensive line continues to plow holes, and he continues to chew up yards after contact. Handling a nice thirty totes, our star running back would make every touch count. Jackson would end the game with a whopping 212 yards on the ground, with touchdown runs of 57 and 39 yards highlighting his incredible night. Better yet, John Garrett hasn't voiced any complaints about his own lack of involvement, watching in excitement as his running back plowed his way to score thrice on the night. He knows his opportunity will come, and we all know he'll be ready when it does.

Oh, and he took a checkdown from John Garrett for thirty yards to pick up a first down late in the second quarter. Is there anything this guy can't do?

Well, maybe. HUElavia's defense will certainly have an answer cooked up to what has been a hard-nosed, run first approach so far in this campaign. But for now, optimism, ladies and gentlemen, optimism! Jackson appears to be off to a hot start after rolling through Silvedania and giving one of the best teams in football, Abanhfleft, all they wanted on the ground. Should this trend continue, we may not really get to see John Garrett unchained. An unfortunate coincidence, but as a wise man once said: "When you put the ball in the air, three things can happen, and two of them are bad."

Silvedania's Offense Looked Completely Inept

Perhaps it was our defense's dominance, but we have our doubts. As many talented players as we have on that side of the ball, an eight sack, three interception performance isn't going to be sustainable against many opponents. Their quarterback can't take too much of the blame, however. His average time from snap to pass was just over two seconds, and that often proved enough time for a rusher to get home. Six of his (numerous) incompletions on the day came when he was hit early.

Angelo Gordon Still Without a Sack

Well, a full one anyway. For some unfathomable reason, the man we assumed would be our best pass rusher coming in hasn't gotten home yet. He did combine with defensive tackle Julius Volt for a half sack in the third quarter, and easily led the team in pressures, but Gordon, who appears frustrated at himself, hasn't shown his dominance in the box score.

We can only hope for a regression towards the mean. Like we said, he's gotten pressure and plenty of hurries, and he's making an impact. However, as great as pressure numbers are, there's a reason everyone's chasing sacks, not hurries: it's the single most disruptive play in football.

Vasily Schmidt Still Quiet, With One Catch on the Season

Photos: Krauts Practice prior to matchup against HUElavia
Schmidt struggling with a low pass from quarterback Jeremiah Quill in practice

A much-anticipated addition to the team, the twenty year old tight end hasn't quite lived up to expectations on the box score, similar to Gordon. We mentioned a week ago that he performed very well as a run blocker, and that continued, but with very little out of the passing game, he wasn't even targeted this week. With a second tough matchup in the young season coming up, we can expect the passing game to have an uptick. It remains to be seen if the two hundred seventy pound Schmidt can capitalize on that opportunity.

Oh, Right. Speaking of that tough matchup, you're probably wondering what the outlook of our game against HUElavia is, right?

Alright alright, I get it, we've said this a couple times already, but this is a critically important matchup. There is exactly one team that isn't a threat to win this group, and we just throttled them 41-13. There is exactly one team in this group that doesn't have a shot at a deep playoff run, and you might be able to guess who they are. HUElavia is not the team we're referring to.

After their shutout loss to Chromatika, who we also have to worry about, they sank to 1-1, but that just means that we're in a competitive one. It also means that the Krauts are the last squad to remain undefeated in what's looking to be a bloodbath of a group stage. We aren't getting out of this undefeated, more than likely, which is what makes this, a home game, so utterly important. Dropping a contest at home means we have to pick one up on the road against one of our rather nasty lineup of opponents, and that's no easy ask, even for the #2 ranked team in the world.

Relevantly, any of you reading this saw the NSCF championship game. Cold Hill, quickly approaching a status on the summit of college football, was nearly brought to their knees by Chromatika's Felswyr State. We know how good that nation is on the gridiron field. Their game against HUElavia, meanwhile, was closer than the score would indicate. While we have no doubt HUElavia would have come up short, the game could have very easily ended up in the 14-10 range rather than the 17-0 result.

Head Coach Raul Nieler was somber when commenting on the upcoming matchup at yesterday's post-practice press conference. "They were moving the ball down the field better than what the score would indicate,” he said. “Obviously a team like HUElavia isn't going to be making excuses about that, though. They're hungry, and we're not going to have a lot of room for mistakes."

Running backs Marco Perez and Jaguar Silva may not be household names in Ranoria. However, their team obviously trusts them, with both getting the ball in crucial situations in their last matchup, and they will present a challenge for a big, burly Ranorian defense that prides itself on its run-stopping. If those two can get going early, they could shake the confidence of the front seven and set the tone for the game.

But hey, optimism! Ross Monarch has expressed excitement about matching up with those two running backs, with our star inside backer having what he calls a "passion" for meeting running backs in the hole. We'll see if he can continue to back that up this week! Go Krauts!

Player Stats; Through MD2:

by **Chromatika** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 8:52 pm

Chromatik Football League, Season 2

Week 5

Depri Lanar Turtles 31–10 Qet Lynx
Alnio Pirates 16–6 Knetyohai Icebreakers
Staramara Angels 26–14 Brisara Juggernauts
Depri Sanar Battalion 9–19 Chromatik City Cyan

The Turtles are playing so much better, and they caught Kenner Jones napping. The Lynx Quarterback was held to 187 yards and was intercepted twice, one by emerging cornerback Harrison Gwent. Is this game a fluke? All indications point to yes, as two of the touchdowns scored by the Turtles were very unusual: a deflection off of the defender's helmet and another one that was hauled in by one hand.

The Pirates bounce back after their loss to Brisara by taking out their frustrations on the Icebreakers; James Morreau had 180 yards and a touchdown; the Cyan's Jill Kieran bounced back with a solid performance, but the team could only muster one touchdown against the Battalion.

For the final match of the day, Ben Vince continues his early case for MVP status, adding three touchdowns to the total as the Angels are poised to be the most improved team for certain.

Week 6

Qet Lynx 24–16 Chromatik City Cyan
Brisara Juggernauts 23–7 Depri Sanar Battalion
Knetyohai Icebreakers 0–6 Staramara Angels
Depri Lanar Turtles 20–14 Alnio Pirates

The match of the week, for sure, was Qet vs. Chromatik City. Jones vs. Kieran. It didn't disappoint - Jill Kieran and the Cyan had first-and-goal from the Lynx 3 with 35 seconds left, only for them to be stopped on four consecutive plays. For now, the Lynx are still the top dobs.

The Turtles have won three games in a row, this time leaning on their best player in the early going, Remus Hans. Hans has now had five touchdowns in the last three weeks. The Icebreakers hold the Angels to less than seven points, but can't crack the end zone.

Lastly, the Juggernauts' rocky-turvy season continues by bouncing the Battalion handedly.

Chromatik Football League    Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Qet Lynx                     6    5   1    90   63  +27
2 Staramara Angels             6    5   1    85   56  +29
3 Brisara Juggernauts          6    4   2   107   81  +26
4 Alnio Pirates                6    3   3    85   79   +6
5 Depri Lanar Turtles          6    3   3    94   70  +24
6 Chromatik City Cyan          6    3   3    90   86   +4
7 Depri Sanar Battalion        6    1   5    45  100  −55
8 Knetyohai Icebreakers        6    0   6    35   96  −61

by **Delaclava** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 10:03 pm

VinylVil
We tell you why the music you like is actually bad

From Sea to Cardi C: Wide receiver's double-doink debut

Star football player Chris Cardona, performing as Cardi C, recently released his debut album, From Sea to Cardi C, which he describes as "R&B trumble (trap mumble) rap" - to the extent that those genres have any meaning. The fourth-year wideout with the Kalinin Wolves recorded the album in his hometown of Cleopatrana, with the album produced by noted producer Daddy Sands and media mogul/occasional soccer player Ryan Keating. Cardona clearly believes he has found a second calling - but after a stomach-churning listen, he may be better served focusing on his first calling.

The lead single of the album, "Deflate My Balls", is certainly intended to demonstrate his sex appeal, his football prowess, and a vicious fiery flow. But it misses the goalposts in every aspect. His vocal delivery is too sloppy to be convincing, yet too accurate to really fit with his intended genre, and if the title is any indicator, it would have been nice if he could have delivered his verses much less clearly. The recording is busy and noisy, as if Daddy Sands knew he needed to throw in any amount of random claps and drum sounds to make a passable record out of Cardi C's very limited ability. Trust us, Daddy, no amount of effects and mixing could salvage this one. It's an odd choice of focus in content with a lead single, an opportunity to establish an artistic identity - but after coming across the second single, "Wet A** P***s", it seems that Cardi has a fixation on, well...

The highlight, if there could be one, was the torch song "Pharoah Queen", a call to his Cleopatran roots and, if we're giving credit, a truly genuine and authentic expression of nostalgia for a high school sweetheart. Or the girl he made out with at prom instead. Or the middle school math teacher who had it going on. Honestly, we're not sure who it's for - but the vocals are legitimately not terrible and he tried here. But the homage to his hometown wasn't an effective strategy for the album as a whole - the electronic dance track "Crack, One Wit the Boys" was meant to be a sort of lyrically clever party number, celebrating the nightlife and the bonds Cardi C and his friends and colleagues developed there. But come on - you can't try to sneakily allude to what goes on in Cleopatrana when it's an open secret that we know how filthy y'all are. And Ryan Keating (who made a guest appearance with a verse), we've known for a decade that you're a proud slut, we don't need to hear it in song form either- and we're not that curious, or surprised, that you and Cardi might have stared longingly into each other's eyes after a few bottles of tequila.

Look, Chris has a lot going for him. He's an All-Star player, he's currently competing with the national team in the World Bowl, he has enough money to get together with some friends and put a record together. No need for him to really explore further, is there? Cardona is obviously talented at catching passes on the football field, but we really wish someone would have intercepted this effort before its release.

Final Verdict: ★☆☆☆.

by **Saint Kanye** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 10:04 pm

"A baker's dozen to nil? We'll take it. Obviously we could have done much better, but it's still a win and a boost to the boys' morale. Hoping the momentum will carry over to Ko-oren and beyond."

Thus spoke St. Kanye Surge head coach Jeff Delphine after his squad beat the team from the Desiccated States at home to finally get on the win column in the group stages of the forty-first World Bowl. The Surge (1-1) rose to second in Group E, just behind 2-0 Ko-oren, who incidentally will be the ones they'll visit for their third of eight matches.

Both the Kanyeans and the Desiccants captured the attention of the crowd when they marched onto Pencurve Electronics Field in Kardashia, the former because they're the home team and the latter for, as Coach Delphine said, their "unconventional" anatomies. However, despite all the hype, the game itself didn't have much happening of note.

2Q STK Sherman 2 run (Rasputin kick) STK 7-0
The first score of the game came with 4:39 remaining in the second quarter. The Surge started their drive at their own 13, but after a couple deep passes and a scramble from quarterback R.J. Linetti, they soon found themselves in the red zone. First and ten at the Desiccants' 15. Linetti tossed the pigskin to tight end Hussein Jeffers, but it would be incomplete, Xian Jie with the coverage. Second and ten. Another pass, this time to Bruce Dobler, but the star wideout would only gain six yards before getting pushed out of bounds. Third and four at the nine. Linetti looks to throw for a third time. The defense would act accordingly, only for the play to turn out to be a fake, the speedy Kanyean QB running the ball himself and moving the chains. First and goal at the two. Handoff to power back Noah Sherman, who runs up the middle..... TOUCHDOWN SURGE! That's six points, seven including the James Rasputin extra point. The Desiccants would try to equalize at the end of the quarter, but to no avail, with Lt. PH03B3 (not Phoebe, mind you) dropping a Hail Mary pass in the endzone.

3Q STK field goal Rasputin 48 STK 10-0
The Yeezies had possession at the start of the second half and were looking to double their score. However, in the middle of their drive, a holding penalty and a sack by Archon Jjuuddeerrbbiiddiill put them at third and 22. A pass by Linetti to Patrick Moore only gained fifteen yards, and so on fourth and seven, in comes Rasputin, St. Kanye's greatest kick machine.

3Q STK field goal Rasputin 45 STK 13-0
Later, he would nail another long FG; interestingly, the two he made in this game are from the same distances as the two he made against South Newlandia. Some might call it coincidence; others, consistency.

Neither team would do much in the fourth period, just as they did in the first. Linetti would get picked off by Branywr Aricmarc, while Desiccant kicker Sundew Twinklefeather would thrice fail to put her team on the board, her three kicks being blocked, sailing wide left, and bouncing out, in that order. Eventually the clock ticked its final seconds, and the thousands of Surge supporters in the audience cheered loudly for their team's victory.

The other Group E game ended in the same 13-nil score, the South Newlandia Elephants dropping to the bottom of the group (1-2, losing the tiebreaker to TDS on head to head) with the defeat to the Ko-oren Dragonflies. Said Coach Delphine about the latter, "No surprise there, as the Dragonflies thrive on snoozefest games, you know, low-scoring affairs. We can't allow them to do that to us. We have many offensive threats, and we can't let them get neutralized. And of course, we can't let the fact that they're fourth and we're twelfth [in the world rankings] intimidate us." Surge wide receiver/kick returner Taylor Johns had been the surprise hero during the two teams' last meeting (a 14-3 St. Kanye win during the previous season's last day of eliminations), so it is expected that the Ko-orenites will be keeping an eye on him. "I just hope I can keep doing my part for the team and help us win again, that's all," he told reporters.

Meanwhile, here are some notable results from other groups:

- Hosts Chromatika (2-1) take down HUElavia (1-1) by a score of 17-nil. Interestingly, all three matches the Iron Legion have been involved in have resulted in one team not scoring, twice with them shutting the opponents out and the third with they themselves getting shut out.
- The Banija SerpentEagles improve to 1-1, taking out their frustration on being upset by Appalachia on Squidroidia, 20-6. Despite falling to 2-1, the Flyers still lead Group B on head to head.
- The TJUN-ia Jags rise to 3-0 with a nail-biting upset win, 25-24, over the Drawkland Net Corp (1-1).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| MD | Opponent               | Rank | Uniform       | Score   | Record | Place |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| 1  | @South Newlandia       | UR   | White/White   | L 6-9   | 0-1    | 3rd   |
| 2  | BYE                    |      |               |         |        | 5th   |
| 3  | The Desiccated States  | UR   | Purple/Purple | W 13-0  | 1-1    | 2nd   |
| 4  | @Ko-oren               | 4    | White/Purple  |         |        |       |
| 5  | Kohnhead               | 30   | Purple/Black  |         |        |       |
|    | BREAK                  |      |               |         |        |       |
| 6  | South Newlandia        | UR   | Purple/Black  |         |        |       |
| 7  | BYE                    |      |               |         |        |       |
| 8  | @The Desiccated States | UR   | White/White   |         |        |       |
| 9  | Ko-oren                | 4    | Purple/Purple |         |        |       |
| 10 | @Kohnhead              | 30   | White/Purple  |         |        |       |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

by **Karditan** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 11:12 pm

A Crash Course to Karditani Gridiron

Rule #1: Move the chains. A Karditani quarterback with a strong and accurate arm is unheard of. As a result, deep plays are a profound rarity. Thus the preferred method of offense is that of death by a thousand cuts: string together 3-5 yard gains until you bumble into range for a field goal attempt. And maybe—just maybe—you bumble even closer and get the ball into the endzone. That this sort of creeping drive wastes enormous amounts of clock time is a beneficial side effect, because

Rule #2: The opponent can't win if they can't score. Scoring more than the enemy is a subjective goal. Many in the sport seek to win 45-42, thinking that paper towel defenses making their offense look like golden gods is interesting television. Nay, we say. Gridiron defense is the tactical heart of the game. The crossover between the Karditani chess community and the gridiron community is astounding in their shared love of building impenetrable tactics. And of course, the less time they have to work with on the average drive, the more rushed they'll be. The more they're rushed, the more mistakes they'll make. And exploiting those mistakes is where you break them upon your knee.

Rule #3: Earth Ponies make the best linemen. If you're going to mash hundreds of pounds of toned meat into each other ad infinitum, you absolutely want the stability, power, and torque provided by the least magical of the equine species. Pegasi and unicorns are generally less disposed to bulking up as heavily—pegasi because that directly gets in the way of their ability to fly, unicorns because of the intense cultural expectation that they'll spend most of their time in the library rather than the gym—which leaves the earth ponies, who tend to be larger and heavier on average across the nation. Add in their low center of gravity and additional anchor points to the ground compared to a human and you've got a recipe for a blocker that's profoundly difficult to dislodge.

Rule #4: Left Tackles are cross-trained as Tight Ends. The exception to the above rule, this position tends to be staffed by the most robust specimens of the other two equine species that can lend their unique abilities to pull off surprise routes that keep opposing defenses off balance. It's not quite the devotion to Tight Enditude as seen in the likes of Nepharan football, and indeed seeing a pass to a Left Tackle is a relatively rare occurance. Perhaps once or twice in the average game unless a particular opponent is obviously failing to adapt to the threat of it. But nevertheless it's a trademark play among Karditani players.

Rule #5: Unicorns make heavy use of laterals. Human hands and flicks from an earth pony are pegasus are wildly unreliable when you're on the move in the climax of a play. But unicorn magic? As precise as ever. It's limited, of course—the ball can only glow (indicating it's being actively affected by telekinesis) for a brief second in order to give it enough oomph to constitute a throw. But when a unicorn commits to a telekinetic throw, the direction and speed of their body ceases to matter: the second it leaves their hoof it's sent in exactly the direction they want it to go. This makes attempting laterals in high-pressure situations far more reliable. Once again, it's definitely not something that happens every play—but it's an important part of the Karditani toolbox.

Rule #6: Folk songs are the ties that bind. Gridiron is heavily favored by the grimy industrial central cities of Karditan. A long history of brutal corporate expansion and exploitation of worker and environment alike left great scars across the region and in its people, with a long history of labor movements in Indaneighpolis, Sinsinatti, Detrot and others being brutally crushed decade after decade. And while there have been fallow periods where the workers' spirits were well and truly broken and entire cities were nearly lost to jaded disillusionment, the recent renaissances of Ponyburgh and Moscolt have brought a new hope that they all one day may climb back not just to relevance but prominence. And that renaissance brought with it hundreds of traditional workers' and protest songs, to celebrate the strength of their ancestors as well as preserving the memory of the great evils forced upon them. That's why you'll often hear Karditani players chanting along together between plays, or noticing that the quarterback's playcalling is inordinately sing-songy.

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Sat Feb 27, 2021 11:21 pm

Royal Kingdom of Quebec National Collegiate Gridiron Team

Base Formation: Variable (Offense), 4-3 (Defense). Team Quebec is very flexible with strategies and will adjust in offensive and defensive schemes as necessary.
Style Modifier: +5
Colors: Blue, Red and Yellow (look at my flag)
Head Coach: Kweon Joon-Ho (Universite du Saguenay)

Coaching Staff

Head Coach: Kweon Joon-Ho (Universite du Saguenay)
Offensive Coordinator: Kennedy Ha (Northwestern University)
Defensive Coordinator: Hannah McKendry (Universite St. Croix)
Special Teams Coordinator: Cedrick Brousseau (University of Kingston)

Offensive Starters

QB: #14 Baek Dong-Hyeon (University of St-Gabriel-Richard- Sr)
RB: #34 Baek Doo-Gwan (Universite St. Croix- Sr)
WR: #86 Laurent Taillefront (Northwestern University- Sr)
WR: #18 Ivan McKay (University of Goose Bay- So)
WR: #10 Diego Coronado Alvarez (University of Southern Manitoba- Sr)
TE: #88 Charles Dion-Maranda (Universite du Saguenay- So)
LT: #73 Samara Johnston-Ukiuk (University of Iqaluit- Sr)
LG: #66 Jocelyn Makoktok (Universite St. Croix- Jr)
C: #61 Marc-Antoine Nix (Universite St. Croix- Sr)
RG: #53 William Ascough (Queen's College- Jr)
RT: #77 Jin Soo-Gyeong (University of Goose Bay- Sr)

In Offensive Rotation

QB: #5 Donovan O'Mara (Universite du Saguenay- Fr)
RB: #33 Henri-Matthieu Sunukkuhkau (Universite d'Abitibi- Sr)
RB: #28 Arianne Chernyuk (Masan College- So)
WR: #17 Hamada Yasuto (Universite de Montreal- Jr)
WR: #81 Michelle Lalime-Jeon (Gyeongbuk A&M University- Jr)
FB: #47 Khalid El-Tarabay (Universite St. Croix- Sr)
3DB: #45 Noh Dong-Joo (University of Kingston- Jr)
G: #64 Raymond Hong (Universite du Saguenay- Sr)
T: #79 Jeanne-Leanne Orlova (Universite de Montreal- Sr)
TE: #85 Robert Ijeawele (Sarnia Technical University- Sr)

Defensive Starters

LE: #95 Theshendan Aravossitas-Tamauskas III (Universite St. Croix- So)
DT: #96 Kevin Wasserman (Universite du Saguenay- Jr)
DT: #4 Hwang Jeong-Sook (University of Hamilton- Sr)
RE: #99 Yvonne Perry (University of Saskatchewan- Sr)
LOLB: #54 Nam Seong-Seol (Abitibi Technical University- Jr)
ILB: #56 Chinyere Ozioma (Huronia College- Sr)
ROLB: #58 Hamza Nam-Haji (Universite du Saguenay- Jr)
CB: #25 Derrick Askuwheteau (Universite d'Abitibi- So)
CB: #29 Laurence Yi-Tavernier (University of Prince Raoul Islands- Sr)
FS: #24 Jean-Sebastien Beck-Watt (Central Honam University- Jr)
SS: #43 Lamarcus Wright-Hwang (University of Southern Manitoba- Fr)

In Defensive Rotation

DE: #97 Nelson Ottereyes (University of Manitoba- Sr)
DT: #93 Hong Chae-Rim (University of Western Ontario- Jr)
ILB: #51 Gaston Chenier-Plouffe (Farrer University- So)
LB: #59 Cavan-Luc Dalcourt (Universite St. Croix- Sr)
Rush LB: #94 Devin Choo (Queen's College- Jr)
Nickel: #38 Leif Tannenbaum (Royal Naval College- Sr)
Dime: Edward Nongxa (Labrador State University- Sr)
S: #12 Yoo-Ra Seo-Yi (Universite du Saguenay- Sr)

Special Teams

K: #3 Elonore Casey (Universite d'Etoile-Nord- Jr)
P: #6 Kang Yeong-Sook (Samseonryeong College- Sr)
Long Snap: #45 Johannie Materson-Vuong (Universite de Gaspe- Sr)
KR: #83 Chris Perlman-McGovern (Nunavut State University- Jr)
PR: #

Backups

QB: #7 Hannah Brady-Dickerson (Meghanville State University- Jr)
RB: #38 Ada Whalen (St. Mary's College- Sr)
WR: #19 Kweon Ki-Tak (Saguenay State University- Sr)
WR: #83 Chris Perlman-McGovern (Nunavut State University- Jr)
WR: #89 Romeo Vaillancourt-Phelan (University of St-Gabriel-Richard- Sr)
TE: #85 Elle Celukwazi-Setjhaba (Northwestern University- Sr)
OT: #78 Nancy Coughlan Springer (University of Western Ontario- Sr)
OT: #71 Kang Seok-Man (Ottawa State University- Jr)
OG: #60 Konstantin Dolokhov (Universite de Gaspe- Sr)
OG: #62 Isabelle Vadnais-Yi (Carleton College- Sr)
C: #65 Francois-Michel McKellen (Gyeongbuk A&M University- Sr)
DE: #52 Stephen McCully (Carleton College- So)
DE: #76 Tara-Alouette Bilaranora (Farrer University- Jr)
DT: #91 Kirk O'Toole (Universite de Sept-Iles- Sr)
DT: #95 Yang Hye-Gyeong (Northwestern University- Jr)
OLB: #57 Isidore-Sebastien Lallande-Deschamps (University of Western Ontario- Sr)
ILB: #50 Alphade Smythe-MacKinnon (Universite du Saguenay- Jr)
ILB: #94 Roderick Weon-Asse (University of Iqaluit- Sr)
ROVER: #49 Alanna McKendry-Jarvis (University of Prince Raoul Islands- Jr)
CB: #26 LaMarcus Alonso (Universite St. Croix- Sr)
S: #39 Junior DeLuca (Central Honam University- Sr)

RP Permissions

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:

Choose my scorers: Y
Choose scoring events: Y
RP injuries to my players: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
Godmod injuries: Y
Godmod other events: No Killing or permanent dismemberment or anything like that. Otherwise, have fun!

by **Chromatika** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 12:05 am

Time for MD4 Cutoff!

Group A Bye: Chromatika
Ranoria 17–14 HUElavia
Abanhfleft 31–6 Silvedania

Group A                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Ranoria                                           3    3   0    80   37  +43
2 Abanhfleft                                        3    2   1    61   28  +33
3 Chromatika                                        3    2   1    61   20  +41
4 HUElavia                                          3    1   2    43   41   +2
5 Silvedania                                        4    0   4    26  145 −119

Group B Bye: Squidroidia
Equestria 0–3 Banija
Tumbra 29–24 Appalachian Nation

Group B                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Banija                                            3    2   1    23    9  +14
2 Squidroidia                                       3    2   1    54   41  +13
3 Appalachian Nation                                4    2   2    57   55   +2
4 Equestria                                         3    1   2    27   37  −10
5 Tumbra                                            3    1   2    54   73  −19

Group C Bye: Augusticinia
Anthor 14–13 Geektopia
Allamunnic States 13–7 Hebitaka

Group C                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Allamunnic States                                 3    3   0    29   10  +19
2 Anthor                                            3    2   1    30   27   +3
3 Geektopia                                         3    2   1    77   17  +60
4 Hebitaka                                          4    1   3    31   69  −38
5 Augusticinia                                      3    0   3     7   51  −44

Group D Bye: Cassadaigua
Kriegiersien 29–6 BohemiaIV
Sarzonia 9–7 Xanneria

Group D                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Cassadaigua                                       3    3   0    96   44  +52
2 Sarzonia                                          3    2   1    55   60   −5
3 Xanneria                                          4    2   2    79   54  +25
4 Kriegiersien                                      3    1   2    50   45   +5
5 BohemiaIV                                         3    0   3    23  100  −77

Group E Bye: The Dessicated States
Ko-oren 10–19 Saint Kanye
Kohnhead 53–27 South Newlandia

Group E                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Saint Kanye                                       3    2   1    38   19  +19
2 Ko-oren                                           3    2   1    30   22   +8
3 Kohnhead                                          3    2   1    86   57  +29
4 The Dessicated States                             3    1   2    33   43  −10
5 South Newlandia                                   4    1   3    36   82  −46

Group F Bye: Saint-Domingues
Drawkland 6–7 Greater Vakolicci Haven
United Volcano Isles 0–44 TJUN-ia

Group F                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 TJUN-ia                                           4    4   0    92   34  +58
2 Greater Vakolicci Haven                           3    2   1    38   23  +15
3 Drawkland                                         3    1   2    42   32  +10
4 United Volcano Isles                              3    1   2    38   70  −32
5 Saint-Domingues                                   3    0   3    24   75  −51

Group G Bye: Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Saltstead 3–16 Karditan
The Transmodian Commonwealth of New England 30–6 Smosh games

Group G                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 The Transmodian Commonwealth of New England       3    3   0    62   28  +34
2 Karditan                                          3    3   0    41   13  +28
3 Royal Kingdom of Quebec                           3    1   2    50   29  +21
4 Smosh games                                       4    1   3    12   72  −60
5 Saltstead                                         3    0   3     9   32  −23

Group H Bye: Mapletish
Newmanistan 19–3 Northwest Kalactin
Delaclava 13–3 Sword Island

Group H                                           Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD 
1 Newmanistan                                       3    3   0    59   33  +26
2 Northwest Kalactin                                3    2   1    65   31  +34
3 Delaclava                                         3    2   1    67   50  +17
4 Mapletish                                         3    1   2    26   49  −23
5 Sword Island                                      4    0   4    18   72  −54

by **Saint Kanye** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 4:07 am

Northern Arena, Aevanna, Ko-oren. Matchday four of the World Bowl XLI group stages. The visiting St. Kanye Surge are leading the Ko-oren Dragonflies 12-10 with five seconds left, but it's the latter who have the ball deep in opponent territory. They're setting up for a game-winning field goal as over thirty thousand watch from the stands. Aocelore Esea snaps the ball to Zoruthau Kosmauthaunden, who holds it, laces out, for Abner Bennett. Bennett runs and strikes the leather-covered egg with his foot. Knowing him, seconds later it will sail through the uprights and give his team three points, which seeing as they only trail by two, will be enough for the victory.

Not tonight, though.

Jon Patel, reserve nose tackle for St. Kanye, took one good look at the ball, moments before Bennett was about to kick it. Using his eyes, he followed the ball as it started flying through the air, and using his reflexes, stretched his right arm up to block its path. Patel felt the ball hit his palm, so he made a swiping motion, causing it to change its path and start its descent. Both the Dragonflies and the Surge players noticed, going after it like lions after a piece of meat thrown by a zookeeper, but in the end, it would fall in the hands of Axel Bartlett. The Kanyean strong safety made a mad dash to the endzone, even as several Dragonflies gave chase. He crossed the Surge's forty-yard line, then midfield, then the Dragonflies' forty.

Then the thirty.

The twenty.

Ten.

Touchdown, Surge.

Game over.

With the 19-10 victory, the Kanyeans catch up to their victims; both now have two wins in three games played. Later, fans, players and staff of the two teams would hug, shake hands, and wish each other luck, showing that the rivalry that have formed between them since last season, while intense, is also a friendly one.

"Great, exciting game, great win for us, and against a known tough opponent at that," said R.J. Linetti, starting quarterback for St. Kanye, at a post-game press conference. "Ko-oren's defense gave us a tough time, but eventually, we were able to figure them out. And then, thanks to our combined efforts, we scored almost twenty against them, which not many teams can say about themselves, I think."

1Q KOR Duterte ?? interception return KOR 7-0
Ko-oren won the coin toss, and elected to kick. During the Surge's opening drive, Linetti, having just thrown two perfect passes in a row, dropped back, hoping for another. Taylor Johns, the intended target and the man of the match during the two teams' last encounter, jumped up, but the ball landed not in his hands but in those of cornerback Camille Duterte, who then ran ?? yards for the pick six.

1Q STK field goal Rasputin 28 KOR 7-3
No turnovers on St. Kanye's next possession, though the Dragonflies and their D make them settle for just three. It was a short, easy make for kicker James Rasputin, who had previously made four field goals in the tournament, all longer than forty yards.

2Q KOR field goal Bennett ?? KOR 10-3
The Surge defense proved that they were not to be overlooked as they also stall the Dragonflies' drive midway through the second period.

2Q STK Jeffers 23 pass from Linetti (Rasputin kick) Tie 10-10
Linetti recorded his first passing touchdown of World Bowl XLI with less than three minutes remaining in the quarter as he caused the Ko-orenite defenders to bite on his fake handoff before tossing the pigskin to an open Hussein Jeffers.

3Q STK Safety, Varley tackled Plasman in end zone STK 12-10
The Dragonflies went backward on their drive to start the half. Starting at their own 14, Rem Plasman would get sacked by linebacker Justin Varley twice, the second time in the endzone, giving the Surge two points and the lead.

4Q STK Bartlett 71 return of blocked field goal (Rasputin kick) STK 19-10
St. Kanye decided to improve their point differential, so they still elected to go for the extra point after the kick six and make it a nine-point win.

In the other Group E result, the Kohnhead Brains also rose to 2-1, turning back the South Newlandia Elephants (1-3), 53-27. "Those fifty-three points are the most ever scored in this tournament thus far," said Surge head coach Jeff Delphine about the Kohnheadian squad, who just happens to be their next opponents. "I expect that they'll be a different team than the one we beat twice last season. They may have improved, but we gotta show that so did we."

Now, for other groups:
- The Ranoria Krauts go 3-0 after a narrow win over Los Amarillos of HUElavia (1-2), 17-14.
- The Banija SerpentEagles figure in another 3-nil game, but this time, they're the winners. beating Equestria. The two teams are now 2-1 and 1-2, respectively.
- Kriegiersien (1-2) notch their first win, a 29-6 crushing of BohemiaIV (0-3).
- Another forty bomb! This time, it's the TJUN-ia Jags annihilating the United Volcano Isles, 44-nil. The Jags improve to 4-0, sweeping their first meeting with all their Group F opponents. UVI fall to 1-2.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| MD | Opponent               | Rank | Uniform       | Score   | Record | Place |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| 1  | @South Newlandia       | UR   | White/White   | L 6-9   | 0-1    | 3rd   |
| 2  | BYE                    |      |               |         |        | 5th   |
| 3  | The Desiccated States  | UR   | Purple/Purple | W 13-0  | 1-1    | 2nd   |
| 4  | @Ko-oren               | 4    | White/Purple  | W 19-10 | 2-1    | 1st   |
| 5  | Kohnhead               | 30   | Purple/Black  |         |        |       |
|    | BREAK                  |      |               |         |        |       |
| 6  | South Newlandia        | UR   | Purple/Black  |         |        |       |
| 7  | BYE                    |      |               |         |        |       |
| 8  | @The Desiccated States | UR   | White/White   |         |        |       |
| 9  | Ko-oren                | 4    | Purple/Purple |         |        |       |
| 10 | @Kohnhead              | 30   | White/Purple  |         |        |       |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

by **Mapletish** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 7:04 am

Of Pride and the Ball

Our source of pride came from the ball
Beneath our feet and our feet.
No strength within our soul could fall
Pillaring with flame its own deceit.

Surely it rose from the frozen dead
Drooping to a shudder with its fall
Upward it saw the dull earth instead,
Brooding its slow shadows on the ball.

Upward it came as a light forget,
Beaming through all others like the flame;
Apollo in hope was wakened yet,
No memory of a dream of fame.

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:13 am

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XLI RECAP: MATCHDAY THREE

Abanhfleft     14  0 10  3  31
Silvedania      0  0  3  3  6

Ah, well. What better way to get rid of the bad memories from the previous game, the one game which we here at Gaelic Gamers steadfastly refuse to recap until our dying days, than to put the beatdown on a team that appears to not even have the budget to get some names and numbers stitched onto their jerseys? Don't you agree that this is a pretty good way of getting rid of those bad memories? Sure, it's a pretty shitty way of getting rid of those bad memories but I'll take it any day of the week.

Ronnie Turgeon had a nightmare against Ranoria, and I'm just talking about his game. His injury that could rule him out for the rest of the whole damn World Bowl itself was just the salt in the wound so it's time for Eldon Warne to step into that tailback spot. And, while he didn't really do anything of much note aside from picking up a few vital first downs, Eldon made sure that there's now a case for him to hanging on to that starting spot even after Ronnie Turgeon comes back. And of course there's Wes Soderlund. Whatever was bothering him about his shoulder seems to have gone away, at least for the time being. The Armoured Revolutionaries could go back to their pass-heavy style, doing aerial bombardment and keeping the defensive backs on their toes. Not that they were doing a good job of that.

I don't quite know how to explain it. This Silvedania side just seem so... I don't know. Lacklustre, I think was the term I thought I'd used while watching the game itself. Like they're, "Hey! We're here! Now what do we do?" I just can't see any sort of leadership in this team. Nobody's acting like a general and telling everyone else what they're supposed to be doing. Heck, even their coaches don't look too interested in actually coaching them during the damn game! I don't even know what they were thinking, plain and simple. You would think a team who managed to make it all the way to the biggest competition your sport has ever seen would be able to get a little bit more funding from their government. At least pay for some numbers and names on your uniforms, lads! I know that Silvedania are a bit better than those nations that seem to pop up every tournament only to be never seen or heard from again afterwards, but at least have some pride in the teams you're sending out! Even for some of the tournaments where we're expected to underperform, everyone's still kitted out like they're expecting to win the championship. Just a bit jarring to see all the clashes in cultures, I'll admit.

So that's the state of the game after four games played. We're 2-1, behind Ranoria after the game which shall not be remembered. As things stand, we're doing good, but we all know that things can go tits up with just one pick or one fumble. Doesn't matter which side drops the ball, when someone drops the ball, that could very well be their whole World Bowl over. And I wouldn't be surprised if Abanhfleft drop the ball once again. Atsuto Kanazawa, Atsuto Kanazawa, Atsuto Kanazawa....

by **Ranoria** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 1:54 pm

Ranoria Trumps HUElavia, 17-14, in Comeback Fashion;
MD5 Looks to be Pivotal to Determining the Fate of Group A

Trailing by four points with a hair over four minutes left in the contest and one timeout, Garrett would spearhead a ten play, eighty five yard drive to win the game, being forced to convert on third down just once in the process.

Our Krauts defeated the HUElavia in a what ended up being a nailbiter in what ended up being a nailbiter in the superdome as John Garrett connected with Johnny Farmer on a twenty one yard post for a near walk-off touchdown. The pass, Garrett's second touchdown of the night, propelled the Krauts to a nice 3-0 on the season and marked their 25th-straight group stage victory in the World Bowl.

Johnny Farmer's late game heroics, including three catches on Ranoria's final drive, culminated in a game-winning touchdown

This one started bad from the get go. After an initial eleven yard sprint from Vice Jackson III, the Krauts were held to two yards on the next three plays, including a John Garrett incompletion. HUElavia took advantage of the strong field position they were awarded and marched down the field even against our defense. Jaguar Silva would be the first to find the end zone on a four yard pitch.

The Krauts managed to answer, in the second quarter, with a long field goal from Barry Chlorid. That score was set up by the first real play action attempt by the Krauts, a forty yard bomb to wideout Calvin Hale, but it would be the end of any scoring for Ranoria in the the first half.

Marco Perez, another of the HUElavia squad running backs, would respond on the very next drive, charging right up the middle near the end of the half to bang in a twelve yard touchdown with just nine seconds left on the clock, pushing his team's advantage to eleven points going into the half.

That's when the heroics started. HUElavia managed just one first down on the opening drive of the third quarter, with Angelo Gordon finally notching his first sack of the season on a third down. And a good time, to, with the defense having only notched one in the first half.

With our run game having finally been shut down, Nieler handed the reigns to his quarterback, and Garrett did not disappoint. The Krauts appeared to move right down the field from the get go, and the Krauts were prepared to deliver a second field goal. This one was from 49 yards out, however, and Chlorid pushed the attempt wide right. Someone in the stadium got some memorabilia, we suppose.

HUElavia then responded by trying to get their own drive going, chugging away for solid yardage and a trio of first downs before another sack would end their drive. However, their offense had done all that could be asked of them at this point: chew the clock, pick up first downs.

The beginning of the fourth quarter finally saw our Krauts break through. The 14-3 lead went from secure to tenuous at best with a twenty yard shot to tight end Vasily Schmidt. The big youth at tight end had been quiet up until this moment, but Garrett hit the two hundred seventy pounder in stride. With a full head of steam, it's almost impossible to bring down someone that large, and he'd fall into the end zone to make things interesting. And of course, you know what happens next.

Garrett found his man on 19-of-27 passes for 229 yards and two touchdowns in the game, hooking up with Johnny Farmer and Calvin Hale seven times a piece. The two would rack up 78 and 94 yards, respectively.

Defensively, along with Angelo Gordon tallying his first sack of the year, outside linebacker Johnson Ellis nabbed his first interception of the season, and William Teller continued his nice run through the early season with a third sack in as many games.

It would all culminate in our 25th straight group stage win, easily the longest streak in the world bowl right now.

Angelo Gordon, after getting his first full sack of the season against HUElavia

There were big implications for this game, of course. Had HUElavia won, not only would it have ended the aforementioned streak, but it would have left four teams tied atop Group A with a 2-1 record. With Abahnfleft's battering of Silvedania and Chromatika on a bye, neither team added a second loss to their tally, and we'd have been no closer than we were week 1 to finding out who the favorite was in this group, with all of those teams having at least one remaining matchup against one another.

Preview of MD5, one of two vitally important matchdays for Group A

As it stands now, Ranoria has control of the group. Chromatika and Abahnfleft are nipping at our heels, however, at 2-1 apiece. HUElavia? As strong a team as they have, they're on the outside looking in at this point with a mark of 1-2. There is a scenario though, with Silvedania off and the group heavyweights all out to play, where HUElavia can get back into a tie for the second seed of the group.

HUElavia will be hosting Abahnfleft, with the latter being the clear favorites. Meanwhile, Chromatika and Ranoria finally get to face off as the Krauts will visit The Capitalizt Dome in Chromia. Once again, Ranoria, even away, is likely the favorite. Should HUElavia unseat Abahnfleft, and Chromatika lose to Ranoria, then those three teams will all come out at 2-2. This is, quite literally, the only scenario next week that doesn't spell the end of HUElavia's knockout stage dreams.

Should they lose, they'll have three losses with a 3-1 team ahead of them, almost an impossible task in such a short span of games. If Chromatika and HUElavia both manage the upset, then we'll have two teams sitting at a nice 3-1 and another, HUElavia, at 2-2 along with Abahnfleft, with both having a mountain to climb to get back in it.

That said, our Krauts aren't focused on the larger ramifications among the group. Our eyes are set on the Iron Legion.

Raul Nieler was adamant this week that, "if we don't lose, it doesn't matter what everyone else does," during the group stage. Arrogant? Perhaps, but Nieler has set himself this sort of standard over the last couple of seasons, despite an inability to secure the gold. And he isn't wrong, either. If our Krauts can finish 8-0, then we won't have to worry about a race for the Group A championship.

Well, that's all for today, folks!

Go Krauts!

Player Stats; Through MD4:

by **Delaclava** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 3:21 pm

DSGN.com Gridiron

Delaclava tops Sword Island, but face QB struggles at critical point
Phoenixes pick up expected win, but Goff benched and status unclear ahead of Northwest Kalactin battle

If ever there were an appropriate example of "winning the battle, losing the war", Delaclava's latest gridiron effort would be it.

Quinniville Aces fullback Rick Groves scored his first touchdown of the tournament and Kieran Conley added two field goals, but even as the Phoenixes defeated the Sabers 13-3, their performance in front of an increasingly disinterested Sullivan Stadium crowd was lackluster to the point that players were left apologising for their effort in the post-game interviews. The Phoenixes offense generated just 182 yards, and Bosmond Bears star quarterback Trent Goff was benched for Manchester Pirates QB Michael Willis midway through the third quarter.

"There's something to be said for winning ugly, having the character and toughness to get it done at less than your best," Coleport Jazz running back Dexter George said. "But that was just bad. It doesn't feel like we're 2-1."

It certainly isn't the form the Phoenixes will want to take to Northwest Kalactin, who fell to an equal 2-1 record after losing to Newmanistan 19-3. With the Rockets at 3-0 and poised early to win Group H, the two games between the Atlantian Oceania rivals will certainly be pivotal in determining the second team to advance to the final stages of World Bowl 41 in Chromatika.

The defensive performance is certainly an encouraging sign when going against the high-powered Kalactanian offense which put up 43 points against the same Sword Island defense. Linebacker Anthony Ventrella led all defenders with 12 tackles, Prince Rose and Allan Tolliver each had two sacks and one forced fumble, and the secondary intercepted Derrick Matthews four times - two by Dave Dobren, one by Tasunka Coleman, and one by Nartin Bell. Defensive co-captain and Ventrella's Corcorran Hammers teammate Ben Dorman explained, "We're all in this together. We know the offense is still working some things off. Our job is to just keep playing tough, hit hard and wear the opponents down. The less we make our offense do to stay ahead, the better. If we keep up our level and intensity and the talent we have on offense begins to mesh, we'll be unstoppable."

But Dorman's optimistic vision is far from reality at this point in the season. Goff only lasted a little more than half of the game, throwing 7-of-21 for 73 yards and two interceptions, before his own Bears coach Gorka Bielsa had enough and brought in Willis. After Conley's first field goal off a short field made it a 10-0 game with 22:43 to play, Willis was largely tasked with clock management and presiding over the run game, but even George struggled, picking up 54 yards on 21 carries and committing a rare fumble. When Conley's second field goal made it 13-3 with 13:37 remaining, the Sabers had four possessions the rest of the way thanks to several quick drives from the Phoenixes. "We never did anything special, or even satisfactory, to put the game away," Bielsa admitted. "We gave Sword Island plenty of chances that a better team will exploit."

With mediocre performances from Goff and Willis, and the slightly more experienced Taurus Wright of the Catherina Crushers waiting in the wings, it is unclear exactly who will get the nod in this crucial upcoming game, and Bielsa was wholly non-committal when the question was posed to him. "Look, I didn't think this was going to happen either... We really worked with the O-line and getting the QB play-calling going, and it all kind of fell apart today. So we've got a lot to think about. Your guess is as good as mine at this point."

Moving forward, the Phoenixes' prospects of making an underdog title run this year appear bleak. For now, Delaclava is 2-1, and there are much worse things to be.

Scoring Summary

Sword Island    0 - 0 - 3 - 0 --  3
Delaclava	0 - 7 - 3 - 3 -- 13

1st Quarter - No scoring
2nd Quarter
DEL - Rick Groves 4 yard run (Kieran Conley kick), 12:05.
3rd Quarter
DEL - Kieran Conley 51 yard FG, 7:43.
SWI - Unnamed MVP 38 yard FG, 2:09.
4th Quarter
DEL - Conley 44 yard FG, 13:37.

by **Sarzonia** » Sun Feb 28, 2021 3:26 pm

For an offensive-minded manager, seeing your team win a defensive struggle is a mixed blessing.

Les Steckhall's Sarzonian national gridball team felt that after its offence could only generate 196 yards of total offence and three Matt Vargas field goals, but that was just enough scoring for the Stars to walk off the Joe Gibbs Stadium pitch with a 9-7 victory in front of 72,931.

Quarterback Sam Rosen completed just eight passes in 23 attempts for 72 yards and three interceptions, but the defence forced six sacks and five turnovers. In addition, running back Ty'Relle Clinton finally wore down the Xanneria defence and rushed for 51 of his 88 rushing yards in the fourth quarter.

"We struggled on offence, no doubt about it," Steckhall said. "I'm pleased with how well we played on defence, and Matt Vargas kicked well for us."

The Stars (2-1) have an away match to unranked BohemiaIV before the mid-qualifying break and the delayed Cyanea "Kickoff" Classic, which will be played at Dave Wilson Stadium.

"We couldn't get the permit for the match to be played at Gibbs," a spokesman for the Incorporated Gridball Federation said. "We were thrilled that Dave Wilson Stadium was available."

Dave Wilson Stadium's capacity of 105,900 is also likely to be expanded with an additional 14,000 temporary bleacher seats able to accommodate a potential influx of Delaclav supporters and Sarzonia supporters eager to see both two-time World Bowl champions. Between them, the Cyanea nations have hosted a combined four World Bowls.

"We're excited about playing in front of the largest crowd for a sporting event on Sarzonian soil," Clinton said. "It should be fun."

World Bowl XLI Everything Thread

NSFB: A Big Game And A Big Win At That!

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