Cup of Harmony 79: Everything Thread

[Frestovenia]

Entertaining match against Indusse results in victory

Fresto Sports - 12/2/2021

The Frestovenian national team surprisingly won its first group game against the higher-ranked side of Indusse. It was a match that had to decide which of the two teams would stay in the race for the second round. In the first half, we saw a very balanced game with both teams creating chances and it was the opponent who took an early lead through a nicely played attack by Kumar and Mersias. Mersias scored the goal in a one on one situation with the goalkeeper. The Frestovenian goalkeeper Vantur Ormut had no chance to stop Mersias effort and had to fish the ball out of his net. A couple of chances by the Frestovenians went over and Indusse came very close to double their lead, but the danger was over as the defenders did their job and made a good block to stop a very powerful shot close on goal. In the 4th minute of the additional time, it looked like the Frestovenians scored the equalizer, but the goal was ruled out for offside. The players disagreed, but the linesman was sure about his call. Half time score 1-0 in favour of Indusse.

Strong second half

In the second half, Frestovenia scored a fast goal just seconds after the start of the second half. A perfect header by Rot Norvatse found the net and he made his first goal for Frestovenia in this tournament. The players of Indusse were surprised and didn't expect the ball to go in. Frestovenia took full control of the match after the last half-hour mark. In the 68th minute, a freekick resulted in a goal for the Frestovenians. it was the forward Tonas Gajetser who made the goal. Frestovenia finally got their deserved lead in this match here, 1-2. Indusse came back strong and pushed the Frestovenian field to there 16 metres box. In the 86th minute, Butea of Indusse suddenly came into scoring position and he did make the equalizing goal. The faces of the Frestovenian players showed disappointment and frustration as they thought that they already won the match and the three points. BUT THEN, two minutes after the equalizer it was the Frestovenian star player Olaf Artvikker that made the winning goal. Olaf did it again for Frestovenia and most importantly the three points can be added to the table. The Frestovenian players will celebrate their win at the hotel tonight. Final score: Indusse two Frestovenia three.

Indusse 2 – 3 Frestovenia
@Gold Coast International, Gold Coast

Goals: Mersias 16' Norvatse 46' Gajetser 68' Butea 86' Artvikker 88'

Up against the host

The next opponent in Group A will be the team of Northwest Kalactin. The host nation lost their opening match at the Gold Coast International against Valladares (2-1). In the match against Frestovenia, the hosts need to refind themselves and their players will be full of energy at the start of the match. Only the win and the three points will count in their point of view. Head coach Alrik Valatanen spoke with us today about the upcoming match: It's going to be a tough game with a lot of attacking play coming from the Kalactin side. We're going to try to keep the spaces in the back closed and come out with a good counterplay,". We also asked the coach about potential changes in the lineup for the match against Northwest Kalactin: "All players got through the match well and they are all able to play against Northwest Kalactin, so we start with all the big names again,".

With one win and three points, the Frestovenians find themselves in first place in Group A. The first big step is made, can they follow this up with another good result? Northwest Kalactin against Frestovenia will be played at the Gold Coast International stadium and will be broadcasted by Fresto Sports channel one.

[Neutraligon]

HOKUTOU-KO DAILY
The Voice of The People

---

Cup of Harmony, A Title Worth Grabbing

After a successful World Cup campaign and the celebrations organized in honour of the national football team little time was wasted to return to the international stage of football. The Democratic People's Republic of Japan was invited to join the Cup of Harmony. The Cup itself, a tournament which is hailed with prestige and merit, can be seen as a playing ground for the best teams in the world. for the Democratic People's Republic of Japan it would be a worthy title to add to it's tally. Supreme Leader Aki Asami herself has stated it was an honour for all Japanese people to be invited for the tournament and the nation would gladly participate in the tournament. Nothing less than victory will be the task for the manager, Gyeon Yongsun.

Together with other heavyweights from the footballing world, The People's Republic will join the tournament placed in Group N with Euran Oceania Territories, HUElavia and South Covello. The expectation has been pressed; North Japan will stand victorious over these sides and will crush the opponents in a the only way true, the way of warfare. Where most teams lack the discipline and prowess as they see football as "the beautiful game" the Japanese people see it as a way to wage war, both physically and mentally. Gyeon Yongsun has announced his resignation a week ago but has assured the People's Republic his resignation has not tarnished his fighting spirit. The national team stands ready to show their footballing skills on the field once again and they will return home victorious.

---

HEUlavia meets it's demise

The first game of the Cup of Harmony for the People's Republic of Japan was against HUElavia. A respectable side in football history, which has been around for quite a while on the international stage. Gyeon Yongsun himself has already excalimed that even though they are opponents he has a certain respect for the HUElavian team. His respect however did not keep his team from decimating the opponent on the field. The teams met on the field in the Ferguson Stadium in the city of Rutland. A stadium and city with a rich history and a football background. The city itself is not very different from the ports back in the People's Republic, where amazing industrial prowess is the pride of the city and the advancement of a nation.

As soon as the first whistle sound was blown, the Kirin were out of the blocks, swiftly moving to the HUElavian goal again and again. Even if the Japanese side lost possession the extreme defensive pressure would assure them to retake control as soon as possible to mount a counter-attack through the middle of the field. Superiority was shown after the first goal, the HUElavian goalkeeper was basically abandoned by his defenders as the Japanese players could easily take an uncontested kick from inside the box to net the goal in the fifth minute. HUElavia seemed stunned. As with all teams which do not have the discipline of the Supreme Leader's ideology it would lead to mistakes which the Japanese players could easily exploit and punish.

HUElavia held themselves quite well during the consistent attacks of the Kirin's play, but before the half-time whistle would concede another goal. For the fans and the coach this was not enough of a show of force. Two to nil is of course a good cushion to build on, but matches can change with a single goal. The mission for the second half was a clear task, the People's team had to score more goals. The match was an inspiring tale, like one from legend, as the Japanese defence held back everything HUElavia threw at them until a surprise counter-attack from their side. Navarro struck the goal with a lucky shot which would mark the first goal for HUElavia. Immediately after this the team would be switched around and substitutions would follow. Pang and Ae came onto the field to boost morale and finish the job for the Kirin. With only a few minutes to play and the scoreline on 3 - 1, a last statement would be needed. Swiftly and surely Mo Kyubok and Pang Jung-Nam would outplay midfielders and defenders to try and find a cross towards the middle where Ae was waiting however HUElavia threw everything in their defence. In a moment of brilliance Gyeong Hyun-Ki joined the attack and was passed to by Pang Jung-Nam and after a swift 1 - 2, the ball would find the feet of AE who's volley almost went through the net. AE gave one last finishing blow.

Final Results:


Japan 4 - 1 HUElavia

[Busoga Islands]

BISA's Chairman, with his legs crossed, sitting in the suites in Winchester following Busoga's 2-0 loss to Twicetagria

"This is a frustrating team to watch." The Busoga Islander Soccer Association Chairman said, to nobody in particular. It was an uninspired performance from the national team. Talent was falling into place, finally, for the national team. It would take time to integrate Kohut into the squad, but he paired well with the team's talisman, Kamu Jacobs.

They thought, with their coup of nabbing Kohut away from Delaclava, they'd be able to really hit the ground running here at the Cup of Harmony. But their first game was anything but that- it was a disaster. Twicetagria is a little bit better on paper, but it's essentially a wash between two equally matched teams. One would not have known that by watching this game though. The tiki-taka tactics of the opposition had worked to keep the ball away from the Islanders, and keep them off their feet. In the midfield, particularly, were the Islanders overmatched, as the teenage Delbin Kasekende Jr had a particularly rough performance.

"I mean, Delbin will be fine." Said one of the Chairman's aides. "He's got the talent. He's 19! Aga is only 21. They're bound to have bad games every once in a while. You can clearly see what happens when both of them are outplayed on the same matchday... But don't overreact."

"Once again, we're going home from a tournament early." The BISA Chairman said. "Man, we're not a new nation anymore. This is our 7th cycle. Why have we only won one knockout stage match in our history at a major tournament? We're small, yes- and we don't have a ton of money at our disposal, but this- we can do much better than this. WE invest into our national team. We go above and beyond. I think we've grown stale. We need some change."

"Change like what?" His aide said.

"Well, it's only one game." He said. "But if we lose tomorrow... We will be effectively eliminated from the Cup of Harmony with a game to play. Last cycle was supposed to be an abberation- this was supposed to be our comeback cycle. We put everything into place. To only manage fifth in our group, finishing below our pot for the second cycle in a row in World Cup Qualifying? And then to promptly get dumped from the CoH after two games? No, that's unacceptable."

"We aren't eliminated yet." The aide responded. "And hey, you never know- we could beat Sargossa!"

"I hope so." The Chairman replied. "There are all sorts of managers available. A lot rests on this Sargossa match. If we lose, and that gets us eliminated after just two games, then we'll have to take a hard look at the managerial position...."

[Juvencus]

Mauro would sit in the balcony of his Vinceti apartment very often to contemplate on his plans, track players' progresses for their teams. He, much like his predecessors is a man who likes fluidity with his lineups. That said, he wants variety, the upcoming Cup of Harmony would be no exception. Anxiety did ooze from his skin, to the point he had dropped off the rest of his family to nearby Santo Domenico while he would be at home smoking loads to cool off. In his mind, this small, yet unhealthy act would be enough. Then his phone rang, the number was pretty mysterious, it belonged to nobody in contact to De Casio, mind you he did not give his number to anyone like that, as he is a rather reserved person. He let it ring a little bit at first, but a striking realisation hit him, so he immediately rushed to answer.

"H-hello?" said De Casio, with his voice crack being apparent from minute one. On the other side, it was a man with an exceptionally deep voice, one could think De Casio was talking to Satan himself, or maybe it was someone with a voice changer, either way he would not gamble on that.

"Mister De Casio... hello."

It striked him, however questions ran down his mind, which was racing at a million paces a second. He had to find something to say and he had to find it now.

"Who might this be?"

"I am a person of significant importance to you from now on."

"Yea, but who are you?" De Casio was slightly frustrated at the moment

"I have been sent by the council to oversee your actions, closely" the man smirked, he knew he had the most powerful tool with him to oversee De Casio's actions and words.

"And, mister De Casio, I have been given the task to inform you about the Cup of Harmony's starting date, which is in a week and a half. You will be heading to Ballina, Northwest Kalactin. You are leaving in 2 days from now, in order that you and the team accomodate to Northwest Kalactin's timezones. As for the climate, there is nothing to worry about, it's just like home sweet home in Vinceti, hot." the man paused for a second there, with De Casio's full attention onto every little thing he said and did, he took a big puff from his cigarette and the man kept going

"And before you say anything. Your group, as you may already know, it consists of the nations known as Flavovespia, the Blouman Empire and lastly, a country your players may know, called Murphtannia. The council want you to advance from the group stages in a flawless record, no defeats. Any cockup such as a draw will not be tolerated nicely, but it will be tolerated, only under the condition you win the rest of the games, understood?"

Blood pressure rose up once again for De Casio, the council weren't serious, were they? This man's entire life is on the line and he gets dropped with bombshell after bombshell. He decided to take matters into his own hands.

"I will do whatever it takes, hell, I'll deliver on exactly what you said. Cockups only accepted once, I'll make sure to use this chance wisely."

"You better perform, good afternoon." the mysterious man hung up. De Casio let out a sigh of relief, not because of his task, but because he did not have to talk to this scary man for what felt like an eternity. His task was getting significantly harder, but at least he had a token for 1 matchday. 1 cockup tho, but only in the group stages. He had to use it right, maybe not even need it, but fate had other plans for him.

---

WHISTLE SOUNDS

It was the final whistle, matchday 1 of the Cup of Harmony's 79th edition. Murphtannia-Juvencus 1-1, not a scoreline anyone in the nation anticipated, but with the way the team played, they were all happy they didn't lose. De Casio was certainly not happy, he knew that the council was on his neck and his token was already depleted from matchday 1, he had to win every single upcoming match.

"Ma che cazzo..." he uttered nervously.

Back in the locker room, it was in good spirit that he did another one of these post-match pep talks the team was so used to doing. He knew he wasn't as good as his predecessors at empowering the team, especially Toset, but he would once again give it a go, as he believed it was good for the team's spirit to be elevated, even a little bit, despite the failures on the pitch. He decided to give it a more calm approach this time and avoid using his signature cigarette fuming that his players were accustomed to, shit was for real this time.

"Look, what we played out there was certainly not the kind of football we were used to seeing our team play, hell it was not even that attacking. It felt like we were lacking passion and as your coach, or even the team's father, I feel like this needs to be reignited into something positive.."

he paused for a second to think of his next moves, he looked around at his players with an intense stare only he could emulate, the team's eyes were on him thankfully, his charisma was at least good enough for that

"I know that you all have it in you, a spark that needs to be reignited. I know that for the longest time, we weren't able to give our team a proper representation to any world tournament and that's okay. This team, is a team of the past, I, however, do not want you to be haunted by the post World Cup 82 team's mishaps and I want you to improve on yourselves in the best way possible. I want us to talk about the game and bring up a few mistakes that I noticed that I want us to fix during practice and especially during future games, starting with Flavovespia in 2 days. For one, prepare for intense fluidity, even for the most important games, no matter the side, we will be using completely different lineups, while keeping one or maximum two of the veterans on the field. Our attack this game was honestly not up to par to our name, thankfully Nespoli managed to score, otherwise maybe it would be a hell of a bad start for us. It already is, don't get me started. Kouyate, please, let Russo take control of the long range crosses, keep the short passes to the side for yourself, you are better utilised that way. Silvestri, I can't believe I have to say this but the entire game you were off position, be more conscious, this is a team effort campeon. Defensive line, try to be more speedy with your fake offsides, otherwise more experienced sides will take advantadge of that and find you all sleeping, I know you can position yourselves right, do it. Lastly, Martell, take the game onto your hands, this team needs you more than anything on the pitch, if they will listen to anyone's calls, it's you, be more vocal on the attacks and I can guarantee, we will be flooding the opposing side's net with our balls. Please, for the sake of our nation, this is your calling, you are beasts and I want you to be even more monstrous on the field, it's in your blood and now that there's adversity on our side, it's your time to act Juven. It's time to shower and go home and rest for tonight."

the players gave him a big node of reassurance and gave some celebratory clapping to mitigate the pain of the draw. De Casio's phone rang once again, he hid in the bathroom, everyone was gone by then, except from Julio Campana who had a burning question in his mind, as he needed to play more games. He decided to wait, hell, even peep at the coach's conversation, he thought it would be funny talking with his wife or something, Campana was still young, despite the hardships in his life, like losing his older brother and also former international, Anastasio to an unknown shooting incident when he was just a child.

"Hello, who is this?" De Casio said, his suspcions led to him believing it was the same man, which it was, that same ominous, deep and satanic voice was on the other side of the line once again.

"Good afternoon mister De Casio. As you may already know, we are not happy with your result."

Campana could faintly hear the voice of the man through the phone, his mouth was full open and as such, he decided to focus, it sounded serious 'maybe it has to do with why coach De Casio is so nervous' he thought.

"I understand and I will do anything in my hand-"

"No, you better bring us strong wins against our next two opponents. Your players messed up against the lowest ranked team of the group, this is not the idea of a team we have in our minds. This is your last cockup, you don't want to end up like certain people who were in a similar position to you, do you?'

De Casio gasped, but recollected himself quickly, he was scared however "Like who?"

"You know, a little man called Anastasio Campana was in our sights before, he did not deliver on his promises, so we decided to deliver on ours. We took him out and covered it up and we are not afraid to do the same on you mister De Casio. Change your tactics next game and tell your players not to play like pussies, got it?"

"I.. understand, is there anything else I should know?"

"This is it, next game against Flavovespia, I want us to be victorious on the scoresheet, understood?"

"Yes."

"It was nice cooperating with you once again, mister De Casio." the man hung up once again, De Casio looked to the ground, he had no other choice and as he was heading out, there was Campana.

"Julio, why are you not on the bus with the rest of the team?"

Campana's look at his coach was full of confusion, he had to ask him about his situation as it seemed worried and he had picked up his brother's name on the call but he also had to let him know that he needed to play the next few games.

"Coach, I heard you talking on the phone, is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is alright, why would you ask?" De Casio was caught off-guard, but he had to play it off, he had no choice anyway.

"But I heard my brother's name on the call and something about, promises, was it? What is it coach? I need to know, how are you related in any way to my brother, who are these people you were talking to and wh-"

"Enough, kid. Tell me what you were doing here not being with the rest of the team on the bus." De Casio was frustrated at how Campana had eavesdropped on the call and how he had managed to pick up very important details about it, now he really had to get defensive in order to keep the secret from the 19 year old.

"Coach, please, it was for my brother." the kid stared into the coach's eyes, he was ready to cry manly tears. De Casio's barriers had already been broken, he had to tell him the truth.

"Promise me you will keep it a secret between us, alright champ?"

"AYE AYE CAPITAN!" shouted an excited Campana

"This was a representative of the council, the council is a very secret footballing government behind the heads of the JFA involved very politically with a lot of teams and associations within our country and especially within the national team and players near or at their peak. Your brother was associated with them for a while, but after a series of poor performances, which they deemed equal to treason, he was shot dead. That same council is coming after me for the same exact reason, I haven't given our team a significant improvement these past few years, however they let me keep my position for the Cup of Harmony as long as I win it. However there's another condition, which involves my life, if we get eliminated before the quarters, they'll take me out, I haven't told anyone, not even my family, so I expect you to keep it a secret for good kid. Now please, tell me what you were here for."

"These monsters... they shot my brother and now they'll shoot my coach?"

"Not if the team performs well at least."

"Coach, please, let me play for the next game against Flavovespia, I will put my Astograthian experience to good use, I promise you, we will win and I will score no matter what it takes, even if I stay with one leg."

"Hmm... kid, are you sure you want that?"

"I did hear about a change in tactics and Silvestri hasn't been performing up to par lately, using me up front sounds like the perfect solution to rest him and give him time to perform at his absolute best later on, I swear, coach, if you put me in, we will win!"

"Alright, I have no choice it seems, you will play."

"Yes!"

"But be mature out there, you understand me?"

"SI CAPITAN!" little Campana saluted as he jolted off to the rest of the team on the bus. De Casio let out a sigh of relief, but he really had to to use his youngest talent well, he put his entire faith blindly into him, something he wouldn't otherwise do in a competition where the stakes are high. But he had a good feeling about it, so he smiled and headed to the team bus.

[Flavovespia]

Flavovespia off target in opening game

The first game of the group stage for Flavovepsia ended in defeat for them, as a combination of poor finishing and great goalkeeping from their opponents meant 0 goals and 0 points. It wasn’t the start Flavovespia needed or wanted, and they’ll need to quickly make amends.

The selected starting XI wasn’t much of a surprise, it was very much like the team starting in the latter stages of the World Cup Qualifiers. The 4-1-2-1-2 narrow formation remained, with David Lyons and David Blythe set to play a more attacking role, and David Clark dropping back when needed. All of the new call-ups remained on the bench and not starting in this game.

The opening 20 minutes saw few solid efforts from either side, the final ball just lacking at both ends of the pitch. Flavovespia’s efforts from crosses seemed to go wayward or easily into the arms of Rory Flinn, the debutant in goal for Blouman Empire. Brad Hunter and Oliver Eastall both had early efforts on target, but Aarif Muhammad was more than capable of saving them.

The breakthrough came halfway into the first half. Brad Hunter angled the ball into the box, before Lyons could get the ball off the winger. Oliver Eastall fired first time, forcing Aarif Muhammad into an instinctive save. The ball was parried away, but into the path of Ty Freltron. Freltron kept his composure, and shot into the back of the net, with Aarif Muhammad powerless to stop that effort. 1-0 to Blouman Empire, they had broken the deadlock.

The rest of the first half saw Flavovespia have many chances to equalise, but were denied every time. Just 3 minutes after the opener, David Lyons played in a through ball that Ramon Martin got to first. The angle wasn’t great for the shot, but he went for it anyway. It may have been going just over anyway, but Rory Flinn acrobatically tipped the ball away. 40 minutes in, and a quick give and go between Ramon Martin and David Clark saw Martin clean through on goal. He shot low at the corner of the goal, but Flinn got a leg out to deflect the ball out for a corner. Then, on the cusp of half-time, a whipped free-kick into the box fell to Clark, who initially looked offside. He fired instinctively, and Flinn pulled out a spectactular save to deny. Despite the flag going up, and the raised arms of the Blouman Empire defence, Clark was onside, and thus would’ve scored if not for Flinn. It was 1-0 at half time to Blouman Empire. Flavovespia were disappointed, but making positive moves in attack.

Flavovespia had another decent opportunity in the 54th minute. Steven Hall’s ball over the top saw Ramon Martin get above David Parson to head towards goal. However his header was straight down the throat of Flinn, who barely had to move to save that effort. Flavovespia were frustrated, and their finishing only went downhill from there. 2 good set pieces later on were squandered, first by Ramon Martin who’s shot was so off-target it was nearer the corner flag than the goal. Then Scott Coleman’s promising position saw him get far too much under the shot, and it flew well over the bar. The crossbar could’ve been twice as high and that wouldn’t have gone in.

Blouman Empire weren’t entirely in a defensive mindset in the second half, and their tactics gave Flavovespia hassle, especially their defence. Rotation between the strikers, wingers and attacking midfielders caused issues for marking and defensive assignments. Isaac Cupstran and James Tinkery found themselves in more advanced positions than usual, and could’ve got on the scoresheet if not for some decent goalkeeping, and the occasional missed opportunity.

Flavovespia’s inevitable push forward in the final minutes ended with the second against them, on the counter attack. With almost everyone forward, a long clearance found Isaac Cupstran. He’d eventually end up 2 v 1 with Aarif Muhammad. Cupstran was selfless, pulling the ball back across the face of goal to Ty Feltron to score his, and Blouman Empire’s 2nd to end any hopes of a comeback.

Flavovespia fail the first test in the Cup of Harmony, with an opening game defeat. With only 2 group games left, they’ve turned the match against Juvencus into a critical one. A positive result is vital for control of their destiny in the group. A second loss, and it’ll almost certainly be the end of the road in the Cup of Harmony, even before the match against Murphtannia. This loss hasn’t instilled the confidence in anyone about the squad, nor the management abilities of Alan Young at international level.

Match ratings:
Aarif Muhammad – 6 Couldn’t really be blamed for either goal, a fairly solid match otherwise
David Lyons ( <-> Scott Vaughan 71’) – 5 Did provide some opportunities down the left hand side, but was exposed defensively
Tony Gardner – 5 Experience didn’t shine through as he couldn’t read the attack of Blouman Empire with enough consistency
Alexander May – 5 There were no major mistakes, but also not good enough to stop the last ball through all the time.
David Blythe – 6 A decent threat down the right wing, and was probably the best of the defence.
David Clark – 7 Maybe could’ve helped the defence a little more, but was impressive in attack. Unfortunate to not end up on the scoresheet or get an assist, little more he could’ve done
Jonathan Feld (<-> Murad Ahmed 65’) – 5 Passing was generally okay, but defensively a bit of a let down and picked up a yellow card unnecessarily.
James King – 6 Decent passing and movement, but a little disappointing no set-pieces came off for him.
Steven Hall – 6 Made some good attempts to create opportunities, but will leave this game thinking he could’ve delivered more.
Scott Coleman – 4 Shooting boots were missing as he squandered a great chance. Also struggled to get touches in the box.
Ramon Martin (<-> Mark Paul 81’) - 3 Missed multiple chances to get a goal, including 2 very good opportunities. Many feel staying on for 81 minutes was too long.
Subs:
Murad Ahmed (<-> Jonathan Feld 65’) – 6 Looked enthusiastic and didn’t seem to be off the pace given his time out of the national side. Could maybe bring more to the table in future games.
Scott Vaughan (<-> David Lyons 71’) – 5 Was too risk averse given the situation the game was in, despite being a full back he needed to attack a bit more.
Mark Paul (<-> Ramon Martin 81’) – N/A Not really given enough time to make an impact, and had little chance to try and score.

[Kohnhead]

Kohnhead lose the belt with a close loss to Eura

We had survived a matchup with Eura once to keep the belt managing to draw them at 0 our defense really showing especially considering the first time around it was a 4-0 loss at our house. However it was not to be this time despite spirited play from all 11 players on our side fighting hard until the final whistle in a close 2-1 loss. I mean really what should you be expecting when taking on the 12th ranked team and best ranked team in the Cup of Harmony fighting hard following their poor performance in qualifying under new manager Skorji Oslograd.

This was the first tournament Eura would be using a new formation with three at the back and it proved confusing to us especially considering we just faced this side recently twice and now they are completely different. Normally stability is an advantage and the fact that we had the same formation, players, and tactics should have been an advantage but Eura have had firsthand experience playing against it and used this to their advantage.

Kohnhead would get a chance in the 13th minute but the Erin Maltos left footed shot was saved by 34 year old Kevin Belgrave behind the sticks for Eura. While we had gotten a decent chance there it had not been Kohnhead controlling the game as Eura had been the ones in control dominating possession and keeping the ball in our half although they had yet to record any meaningful chances yet.

That would change by the half an hour mark as led by Brian Bond and Moira Woakes, Eura had been knocking on the door for 10 minutes with some chances that were too close for comfort including a header that forced Sanders to make a diving save to tip it over the bar. However we couldn't keep them out for long and on the counter following an unsuccessful Kohnhead corner, Eura struck. The pass from captain Monica Rowland to a wide open Isaac Tomlinson would provide crucial who would give it off to Brian Bond for the easy goal in the 39th minute.

Kohnhead fell behind 1-0 never to be back level on goals with Eura as they would strike again in the 54th minute. This one also felt inevitable as we were having real difficulty getting the ball out of our side of the pitch and the only way we could was with poor clearances that just gave them the ball back, rinse and repeat. Eventually after biding their time with 70% of the possession since the start of the second half they would find the back of the net once again this time with Bobby Malone the young winger putting it in with the assist going to Brian Bond the man who had scored the first goal.

It wasn't looking good for the 221st Unofficial World Champions down 2-0 against the 12th ranked team in the multiverse and one of the favorites to win the Cup of Harmony. Harry Richman on as a sub would do what he does best and provide a clutch goal winning a header in the box and putting it past Belgrave with Sophie Johnson having played the ball in. There were still 12 minutes left and injury time for us to get an equalizer but alas all we could muster was a weak kick from Korkson that didn't even make it to the keeper and was cleared away.

Overall the loss was tough and we grinded hard however it was expected and should not dampen our spirits although it does put considerable pressure on the team to perform highly in future matches. In the other match in our group we got the result we wanted with Hapilopper and Baggieland drawing at two goals a piece. We don't want either of them to build a large points lead on us for advancement purposes and the way it worked out is perfect.

Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Eura                             1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
2 Baggieland                       1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
  Hapilopper                       1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
4 Kohnhead                         1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0

Kohnhead probably need to get at least four points if they want to advance although two wins is definitely a possiblity and is best case scenario for The Brains. Next up on our fixture list is 116th ranked and the lowest ranked team in pot 2 that being Hapilopper while Baggieland have to take on Eura. This should be a match that we win and with the expected loss to Eura it remains a must win if we want to make our third straight trip to the Cup of Harmony knockout round.

[Graintfjall]

…I’m not going to pretend that I agree with Mecava-Catic on feminism or so-called climate change or so-called trans so-called rights. But the fact remains she won and blew all the traditional, establishment parties out of the water, after we’d heard so much about how she was a ‘populist’ and shouldn’t be taken seriously. Where have we heard that before? Time and again the leftist corporate media in Græntfjall tells us the National Democratic Front are ‘populists’ and ‘rabble rousers’ and ‘skinheads’, and time and again the voters tell us they’re hungering for a change from the hum-drum middle-of-the-road mediocrity of Zóphonías Juliusson and Kaija Michaelsdóttir…

Mr Karlsson was cut off in his prime as Amanda zapped the set into silence. “Fascist asshole,” she muttered.

“All he’s saying is…”

The look she shot Jason would have melted steel beams, so he did the right thing and collapsed to sprawl on the bed, his feet dangling over the end.

“Look, we have a problem. Originally, I thought we were going to be playing in the V O I D.”

“T̷̞̦͖̮̉̓͂͒̉̓̍͆̀͂̀͛͠h̷̹̲̖̐̾̊̌̇͂̀͌͌̇ë̷̯̺͚̗̞́͂̌̂̐̕̕͝ͅ ̴͙̰̭̟͓̞̠̘̤̆̃̀̋͝͝V̶̨̡̛̛̼͓̒̔̈́̀͊̇͑̿͠ ̵͕̹̭̰͒̅̓̀̒͘O̵̢̮̫͇͋̈̆̌̒̌ ̶̢̡̼̬͔͖̲̹͗̈̀͗̀̌̇́̿̎̏́̚͘͜I̵̞̋̈̇͂̇͘ ̷̢̢̢̞̪͖̱͎̦̤͍̍̈́͑͗̂̔̓̔̓͒̇̇̓͝D̶͚͔͉̖̲̥͎͋̍́̓̔͐̇̓̾̓̃,” repeated Emeli Vilbertsdóttir, her eyes turning black and blood weeping from her ears.

“But as it turns out we’re in Coffs Harbour.”

“Wait. Hjörleifur said he’d spoken to Li Jing, and he said he was in Coffs Harbour.”

“This is Hjörleifur we’re talking about…”

“No, he’s right,” confirmed Amanda. “That’s the problem. Groups C and D are both playing all their games here.”

“What, both groups in the same city?”

“Both groups in the same stadium.”

Jason and Emeli (who was all better now) both groaned. “How do we know which game happens first? Or, all at the same time?”

She shrugged. “I only saw the Lusitanians down there with us last night, but I really don’t know.”

“Wait, you said a problem.” Jason sat up from the bed. “Why does this alter our plans?”

“Doing recon is hard enough with an opposition team swarming around. But with seven of them…”

“Isn’t this where ‘Operation Dress Up Like A Giant Furry Sports Mascot So We Can Sneak Around Incognito’ comes into play?”

There was silence for a moment, then Jason said quietly what they’d all been thinking. “I really think we need to come up with a snappier name for that, y’know.”

“Anyway, Emeli, for Operation Dress Up Like… for the plan. We need a costume. And you say you can get us one of these?”

“Yeah, I have one you can borrow.” Emeli gestured towards the heavy bag she’d brought in.

Jason went over to investigate, and opened it to reveal a box with a label depicting a scary wolf mask.

“Woah, this is great!” he said.

“A little scary for the kids, no?” suggested Amanda softly.

“It’s fine. We need it to be realistic, anyway.” Jason flipped open the box and looked inside.

“…oh god dammit Emeli. Where did you get this?”

“I, ahem. Prefer not to answer?” Emeli squeaked, as she hurriedly made for the door. “You don’t want any questions about what you two are up to? Well, same…”

Once she’d left Jason and Amanda shared a look. “I think I preferred it when she was hooking up with electric steam irons,” he muttered.

“Trouser presses,” corrected Amanda.

He pulled the suit out. It was – hideous.

“I don’t know how you can smile,” said Amanda, in reference to the grin he was wearing as he examined it. “That thing is disgusting!”

“It’s really disgusting,” he agreed. “It’s also a Small.” He held it up: the feet – or paws? – didn’t quite reach the floor even with the head at his shoulder level.

“…oh god dammit Emeli,” said Amanda.

[Mercedini]

79th Cup of Harmony Group Stages
Mercedini vs. The Gothanita Isles
@ Kempsey Centre - Kempsey, Northwest Kalactin

FINAL SCORE

COH | MD1

---

MERCEDINI 3
Chillotov 38', Lorano 79', Dostalok 87'
THE GOTHANITA ISLES 0

---

Kempsey, N. Kalactin
Attendance - 47,846

The fans inside the Kempsey were treated to a comperhensive performance on opening night tonight as Mercedini and Pot 4 side The Gothanita Isles battled to a 3-0 win for the Golden Eagles, confirming a very good start to proceedings for the formet champions. It also putting a dent into the hopes of the Gothanitans to qualify for the knockout rounds. It was a tight match with Mercedini having the lion's share of both chances and possession, but they simply couldn't find a way through with front pair Chillotov and Dostalok pulling the strings up front but failing to make early in roads in the game. Throughout the match, it was becoming ever clearer that Mercedini wouldn't concede in the match, it was just a case of whether the Golden Eagles would claim another one or another three points at home. Chillotov opened the scoring in the first half, before Lorano's and Dostalok's late strikes ensured the win late on to top the group after match day one.

News was already known about about Tequilo's win against Chartistan which spurred the players and the fans on to score and give themselves a slightly more comfortable cushion to take into the final two games. Instead, their three goals and the clean sheet left the Mercedinian fans in the stadium satisfied that they started the tournament on the right foot. Their next game will come against Chartistan for a chance to qualify for the Round of 32 with a game to spare. It's boiling down to a two-horse race in Group F with two matches left and Tequilo and Dini the front runners. At the end of tonight's match in Northwest Kalactin, it finished Mercedini 3, Gothanita 0.

Group F                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mercedini                        1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
2 Tequilo                          1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Chartistan                       1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
4 The Gothanita Isles              1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

It's as you were in the group with Dini and Tequilo leading the group and set for qualification if they both win tomorrow, that would mean top spot would be directly decided on the final day with the match between the two teams. Dini have a slight advantage by virtue of goal difference, but Eura's opening win means the pressure is piled on the team which finishes second in the group. If Dini finish as runners-up, it could very well mean a Round of 32 nightmare against Eura. As we have said, Dini will likely take it one game at a time for this tournament, given they aren't one of the more highly fancied teams at this tournament. As previously mentioned, Chartistan is next, who were narrowly edged out by Tequilo in their first match. We will be there in Northest Kalactin to cover that one for you

DiniBet Percentage Chance of Advancement: Group F
1 Mercedini                        84%
2 Tequilo                          76%
3 Chartistan                       21%
4 The Gothanita Isles              19%

Over to the betting odds, and you can see the contrast between the four nations in play and the hoops they have to jump through to punch their ticket to get to the Round of 32. There is a clear divide between those who won and those who didn't, and provided the difference in ranks and the teams on paper, those at DiniBet think that form will continue for the rest of the group. They have Mercedini and Tequilo going through, and that is likely the wisest outcome. It is up in the air as to who will win the group, as that will be decided in the 90 minutes at the end of the group, granted both teams can win their MD2 games. It is not all over for Chartistan or Gothanita, but it is last chance saloon for both to cause a shock. They must win their next game.

The next match for both spotlighted teams will be crucial as it sets the stage for a dramatic final day in Group F between the two sides. Mercedini face Chartistan, while Tequilo will play Gothanita in their second matches which, on paper, seems fairly straight forward for both to do, if both teams or draw, then everyone will be still alive at the final match day as the group draws to a climax. One can never guess the results that are churned out in tournaments like these.

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

METHODICAL WIN TO START

By Taylor Larson,

There was nothing fancy about Newmanistan’s 5-2 win in the opening game of the Cup of Harmony, and it is not the type of result that is going to impress anyone. The opponent was only Garbelia, seen as one of the weaker nations in the entire Cup of Harmony if we are making that determination on rank alone. It is one of those games that, from Newmanistan’s perspective, you want to win by multiple goals in case overall goal differential tiebreakers are ever needed. That could be the case with Mavinet if both nation’s finish 2-1-0, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, or think that Newmanistan’s second game, against Sharktail, is an automatic three points.

From start to finish in this game, Newmanistan outclassed the Garbeli, getting chances right from the start, and capitalizing six minutes in as Allister Levy would head the ball past Ottery Otterface on a great delivery from the captain Paul Lombardi. The fans at Gold Coast International were able to see right away that the Rockets were not just showing up to Northwest Kalactin and putting up with the apparent anarchy, but they were here to win games. This is a beautiful stadium by the way, seating 104,000 and hosting the Kalactanian Sports Hall Of Fame. I paid a visit to that, by the way, as it was great to take a moment to appreciate some of the history in this sporting nation. Northwest Kalactin has been in international sports for a while, but only recently do they seem to be taking pivotal steps from being an also-ran in competitions, to being a nation that could ultimately win a major championship. The fans here have generally been accommodating to Newmanistanians as we are the top ranked team playing in Groups A and B, which this stadium holds. With many of the locals focused on getting Northwest Kalactin tickets, Newmanistanians that have made the trip have reported that they have been able to get very good seats at this facility.

It may be tempting for the locals to want to root for the underdog in a match like this, but I got the feeling that many of them realize it might be best for them to root for Newmanistan, regardless of what they might otherwise feel about us. Reason being is that it is likely that the round of 32 will feature Groups A vs Group B, and Newmanistan is the team to beat in Group A. Northwest Kalactin is in the team to beat in Group A (though Valladares took care of that in their match), so if they win the group, they don’t want us to be the second place team. Of course, the tune on that may now have changed after their own loss to Valladares.

As for this game, I could talk to you in detail about every single goal that was scored in this match in detail, but you probably watched the game and have seen the highlights. After the opening goal, it continued to be Newmanistan dominating possession and getting opportunities, and in goal Otterface continued to face an “otter” display of chances by the team in sky blue. Garett Sarniak made it 2-0 in the 24th minute, and decided that was not enough in the 35th, as he picked up his second goal of the match to make it 3-0. Newmanistan got a little sloppy towards the end of the first half and in injury time, as it did seem surprising that five minutes were added. Bob McOtterson was able to get his team on the board in that fifth minute of injury time to make it, 3-1. Rockets manager Michael Starre had an extended conversation with the referee (not an argument) likely to try to figure out why so much time was added.

Half number two started much the way the first half began, with the Rockets getting the better of play. If Garbelia were hoping that their late goal would provide them momentum, that was not to be. Four minutes into the second half, the three goal lead was restored as Vinny Donaldson easily out leaped Otto Johnson to head the ball home, the second time the Rockets scored in this manner and used the diminutive nature of the defender Johnson against him. Johnson was frustrated about the play and shoved Donaldson afterwards, but did not have enough strength to knock him down. Donaldson did not retaliate, as he knows there are bigger battles ahead. Parnell Addington picked up the fifth goal of the game for Newmanistan, coming in the 69th minute, though Garbelia responded two minutes later with the speed of the youthful Otto Otter being showcased on a good looking goal to make it 5-2, which would be the final.

From a bunch of Otters to a team named Sharktail, Newmanistan will be looking to gain three more points here in Gold Coast. Mavinet will take on Garbelia, and many seem to predict that each team will punch their ticket to the knockouts after matchday two and play for the group win in the third game.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Three Things
Salwan Mynhier

1. Not Quite Deja Vu
   The Black-and-Reds started their Cup of Harmony campaign on the right foot, taking full points from the group's top seed, the by now very familiar Dragons of Krytenia. For long periods of the match, it looked like we were headed for a repeat of the qualifying matchday eleven meeting between these sides. Dragons manager Paul Davis elected to employ his usual 4-3-3 rather than the adjusted, midfield-heavy formation he had employed last time out. Nonetheless, the result on the field was much the same, with the ball bogged down, and neither side able to dominate possession in midfield, or generate any truly threatening chances. O'Neill, Okano and Co. in cyan were just about cancelled out by the triangle of Takala, Lomidan, and Hashemi in black and red. With strikers at both ends starved for touches, and neither goaltender seriously tested, halftime was an opportunity to plan the tactical adjustments that might lead to victory, or defeat.
   When asked about the highly unusual substitution she made, a substitution which ultimately broke the deadlock, Groothuis was her usual reserved self. "We could see the match proceeding like the last one had. It was clear something more drastic was needed." Drastic indeed. Groothius made a significant shift to her formation, bringing Baste off for Marrish. This left just three defenders, but boosted the midfield presence to a point that allowed the Black-and-Reds to outnumber their opponents at the point of attack. Still, it takes more than throwing players into the middle to put a goal on the board, even though the Black-and-Reds looked likelier and likelier. Davis made no substitutions while this buildup continued, though whether confusion or complacency was more to blame is uncertain. What is certain is that Lyz Petrov is the kind of striker that sometimes only needs one chance to turn a match around. With a flawless touch to open space and a hammered finish, she tallied the only goal of the match, and the Black-and-Reds took a big step toward advancement.
   
   
2. Petrov is the Key to Everything
   Enough cannot be said about how fortunate the team is to have her. Various players on the team have been on the Galacticos longlist before, but she is the first Confederate to ever make the first eleven. The move to Moths has clearly suited her, and best of all, she's brought her best for the national team as well. What a privilege it is to play alongside such a striker is self-evident, but also shown by the way her teammates talk about her. Takala, who assisted on the winning goal, said that "[Petrov] makes it easy. All you have to do is keep the ball away from the defense and she'll find a way to get there." Center back Walda Harkhan put it this way, "Lyz is the type of player you love and you hate to go against in training. You know she's going to make you look bad a couple times, but constantly having to go against the best is the only way I know to improve." Groothuis, in her own way, also lavished praise upon her star striker. "Our tactics are very demanding for the lone striker. She has to make a lot happen on her own. We're lucky to have the talent at striker that we do, because without it, the whole attack breaks down."
   All rosy outlooks aside, this teams attack was alarmingly one-dimensional against Krytenia. True, the Dragons are an excellent defensive team, but if the Black-and-Reds are to pull out of their funk, they'll need to be ready to face their like and better. Vladcik and Starosta, who each have a Galacticos longlist appearance to their name, need to start finding ways to contribute on a more consistent basis. Too often against stubborn opposition, the wings have fallen silent, and the Black-and-Reds have tried to simply force things through the middle. Whether allowing the fullbacks more freedom to support the wingers, or pulling the entire formation slightly narrower, something need to be done to facilitate spreading the ball around. Whatever the solution is, Groothuis needs to find it before we run into a team with the defensive talent to truly smother and shut down even a player of Petrov's caliber.
   
   
3. The Midfield Shuffle Goes On
   The massive number of options in the center of the path for the Black-and-Reds continues to defy prediction. Opting for the more attacking, ball-moving trio of Takala, Hashemi, and Lomidan against Krytenia seemed overall to have worked, and the injection of Marrish at the crucial moment paid dividends. Hagaz and Tabur, however, both remain in the conversation as more defensive options. Their presence might prove necessary against high-powered attacking teams, though the job the first three did containing Krytenia is certainly encouraging in that regard. Against Lorrana and Transvolcanic, barring some disaster, I would expect Groothuis to again use Takala forward, with Hashemi and Lomidan at LCM and RCM respectively. Those three are all well-rounded players with complete skill sets (as is Marrish for that matter), and starting with them lets Groothuis make adjustments by sending on more attacking or defensive minded players as necessary.

CoH Schedule and Results:

MD1: SRS 1-0 KRY @ Ballina Stadium (cap. 50,000), Ballina, NWK
MD2: LRN  v  SRS @ Ballina Stadium (cap. 50,000), Ballina, NWK
MD3: SRS  v  TRV @ Ballina Stadium (cap. 50,000), Ballina, NWK

SRS Qualifying Schedule and Results:

MD1  SWE 1-2 SRS @ First Coast Stadium (cap. 33,000), Auberlin, SWE
MD2  SRS 2-1 KRY @ Megabrantid Financial Field (cap. 69,245), Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS
MD3  PFA 3-2 SRS @ Libira National Stadium (cap. 68,000), Fiskadaha City, PFA
MD4  SRS 1-0 CAR @ New Rudlit Arena (cap. 31,200), Rudlit, West Flania, SRS
MD5  WZA 2-3 SRS @ Edge Hill, Bradley, WZA
MD6  SRS 1-2 FFD @ Bridger Lane (cap. 72,406), Damogran, Algolia, SRS
MD7  GKI 2-3 SRS @ Stadia Capital (cap. 78,050), Beijing, Jing, GKI
MD8  SRS 2-0 BGJ @ Synesoft Arena (cap. 38,600), Syneca, Sivoliva, SRS
MD9  SNB 0-0 SRS @ [redacted]
MD10 SRS 0-1 SWE @ Reinallt Arena (cap. 41,230), Golgafrincham, Megabrantis, SRS
MD11 KRY 1-0 SRS @ Oxley Park, Emberton, KRY
MD12 SRS 2-2 PFA @ Slavnarzeczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD13 CAR 2-3 SRS @ [redacted]
MD14 SRS 7-1 WZA @ Olympiastad (cap. 47,550), Arkintoofle, Megabrantis, SRS
MD15 FFD 5-1 SRS @ [not sure, everything was on fire]
MD16 SRS 1-3 GKI @ Castle Street (cap. 57,300), Jaglan, Algolia, SRS
MD17 BGJ 1-4 SRS @ [redacted]
MD18 SRS 6-1 SNB @ Ralph Wilson Memorial Stadium (cap. 48,700), Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS

[The Gothanita Isles]

Mercedini 3-0 TGI
Lineup for TGI (4-2-3-1): Thulile Bolkvadze (c); Jeanette Ross, Abu Bakr Ekmekçi (Den Benjaminson 64'), Saif al-Din Kartal, Charlee Harel; Chloe Brewster, Remus McQueen (Sardar Chaplin 52'); Grigorii McCrory (Marino Barros 70'), Ladislava Tyler, Cyneburga London; Abdelkader Kartal
Cards: None for Mercedini
Abu Bakr Ekmekçi 46' (yellow); Charlee Harel 60' (yellow)
Goals: Chillotov 38', Lorano 79', Dostalok 87'

Zahi Castillas knows that the runway is simply too short, and that the team needs to takeoff real quick. Against Mercedini, the attempt was aborted over and over again.

CoH 77 bronze medalists Mercedini handed the Yellow Lions a through beating, dominating the 3rd seeds in every department, from possession to offence and then to defence. The opposition restricted Tyler and the front men to a grand total of 4 shots, while Chillotov and Dostalok led the Golden Eagles to consistently ransack the Gothanitan defence. Although they were not as successful at first, as they gotten hold of the tempo of the game, they broke through multiple times, and the scoreline may have been larger if not for captain Bolkvadze's heroics.

Castillas was at a loss of words. The frontline was working hard enough, but they can't seem to find a break. Substitutes that came on didn't really change the game in the favour of the Isles. "Against Pasarga during the qualifiers, the team churned out a performance, that although was far from perfect, was enough to keep it close against the Wanderers. Even if the home game ended in a loss, I would say the players did well. I can't say the same for today," he told Gothanitan reporters after the match.

However, there is no time to rest for the team. They would need to gather and regroup quickly before their match against the BoF72 bronze medalists, Tequilo. Tequilo also took all 3 points against 4th seeds Chartisan, which means that anything short of a win for our Yellow Lions will mean the end of our campaign. Castillas would be thinking about it overnight. Just how will he get this team to click again and present performances like what they did in the qualifiers?

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL | Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana | EN
Sport | Football
79th Cup of Harmony - Cassadaigua/Northwest Kalactin

A DISASTROUS BEGINNING…
Graentfjall 4-2 New Lusitania
@The Harbour Coliseum, Coffs Harbour, Northwest Kalactin (Att: 66 407)

The austral heat of Northwest Kalactin greeted the Lusitanians upon their arrival. Coffs Harbour would be their locale of stay for the next week or so as it greeted Groups C and D of the Cup of Harmony. The massive Harbour Coliseum would play host to New Lusitania against Graentfjall, what in the preview would be considered the group headliner.
New Lusitania started the group with an interesting eleven, which presented a few changes. António Lopes would be in goal instead of Patríce but Vinagrete, Ferradura and Cancela were the usual back-three. Gonçalo Guerra started as a result of his good form, Fernando as captain, Palhagueira continuing alongside with Gama on the right-flank, Veiga would take his usual position and the Jota-Silveira partnership was present as usual. No players spared for this all-important match. Ernettison may have started the cycle as third keeper but was now starting for the Snow Wolves. The back-four ahead of him was constituted by Lúthersdóttir, Vilbertsdóttir, Reynarsson and Kristersson. Noahsdóttir, Jvarson, Guttisdóttir and Snæþórsson were the four in midfield for this match, meaning they’d be feeding the ball to lone striker Þórhallursson.
The game started off strong and both teams looked up for it despite the sweltering heat that occurred, even in the night-time. Graentfjall were as strong as they had ever been in the cycle against a New Lusitania who, for some reason, seemed still half-reviewing the previous couple of matches where Qualification wasn’t ascertained. This meant the Snow Wolves could draw first blood fairly well in this Cup of Harmony - Þórhallursson received an excellent ball from Guttisdóttir to score the first one in a way that almost seemed easy. The defence was completely organised, and it was now 1-0 – it was however, a wake-up call. New Lusitania pulled the goal back short after. This time, Guerra showing his crossing abilities once more. Silveira would jump in, putting his body a tad back as strikers usually do and heading it in. Graentfjall would still leave the first half on top nonetheless following a momento of sheer brilliance from Jvarson to carry the ball over on the counter-attack, with support from Guttisdóttir, who was having a brilliant match tonight. Near the post, Lopes this time had no chance.
When teams came back on for the second half, it seems some hopes had been restored. New Lusitania went on some lightning runs to make it all square. The foot would be Fernando’s from a good play from defence by Cancela, via Gama. The game seemed balanced, but the last half hour would be described as “shambles” by the Lusitanians. Graentfjall received a chance for their third goal on sixty-two minutes – Snæþórsson made it fact to put his team back in front after a corner, doing a simple lob to catch the Selecção out.
On seventy-one minutes a decisive moment as Ferradura is sent off for a professional foul due to being the last man between the adversary and the keeper, sweeping Þórhallursson’s legs completely. There was really no debate over the foul and once it was given, he knew he was going off. This meant not only there was a penalty to defend, but also a change to be made as Leiteiro came on for an on-form Palhagueira to keep a back-three going. Onto the penalty, it was a tense affair. The crowd were sure to do their part in helping Lopes and it as the referee blew his whistle, the fouled player did his run and shot the ball. Deflecting it with an arm, the ball went over, and an opportunity was certainly missed by the Snow Wolves to secure the win.
New Lusitania were on track to score, Jota certainly put the ball in and the crowd most certainly cheered for the 3-3 equaliser, but the linesman came to the referee’s attention to which a lengthy discussion ensued as to if the forward was onside when the ball left the foot of the captain. Discussions went on for a while and the referee declared no goal and the Selecção did show their disapproval so much so that the winger Francisco Gama received a yellow card. As to decision, it seems to be just about right, but only by a few centermetres, or rather, the tip of the striker’s right boot, but from the available angle it truly is hard to tell.
On top of the game’s last fringes of time, the definite figure of the match, Þórhallursson, stroke again with a nice, curved ball received from his midfield to make it 4-2 and to crush any hopes of a last minute equaliser by New Lusitania.
In the end, people may argue that the result can be a bit distant from the truth of such a close match with that last goal, but the winner was certainly the fairest as part of New Lusitania just had not arrived in Northwest Kalactin just yet. Grilo congratulated his opposition after the match but the anger due to “a lack of performance shown here today” as he elaborated was more than evident when he went into the dressing rooms. Up next, Mytanija, a team which needs no introductions in the competition. A hard nut to crack, New Lusitania will have to remind themselves what the tournament is and come back stronger to have a hope of qualifying in two games’ time. Courage New Lusitania, it isn’t over just yet.

[Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom]

Pt. 3/Z

---

It was the first game of the cup. Bogdan sat idle on his chair, getting himself into a zone. Opening his eyes, the starting forward looked over to his teammate. Tina was applying lipstick, colored in the pattern of Zeta Reka’s flag. A yellow left side and a red right are held together by a white stripe. “Lipstick?” the young man inquired. Tina laughed, “Yeah, it was my publicist’s idea.” “Woah, you have a publicist?” Bogdan was a bit surprised, he hadn’t had one at eighteen. “Yep,” Tina replied, “the agency I started working with after the under eighteen event specializes in ‘good media skills’” “Glad they don’t work on bad media” The two smiled a bit. “You think I’ll get minutes?” Tina said to her running partner for the cup. Rawić shrugged “Maybe after Jad plays for a game. I don’t know though, new regime and all.” The two were quiet for a moment, in walked another small player “Hey kid,” the small man said coldly to Bogdan, who said nothing but “eh.” Tina’s eyes went back and forth between the two over. “What his deal?” the lady said, finger on her chin. Her pot stirring question was answered swiftly, “Guy thinks I stole his thunder. You know, little player, but I’m better. You play on his wing, so I bet he’s got a problem with you too.” Tina shrugged, finishing her make up job, “Whatever.”

In strolled the portly head coach. The floor would’ve creaked if it had been wooden. “Good day. Hey, before I get too deep into the game, I need to introduce you to someone. Come here, Iwan.” An older man, with what was probably a hairpiece walked in. “This is Iwan Zdrawkowić,” the head coach said, “He’s my third eye, ear, and hand in this team. If you need me for anything, and I’m not around, this is your man. Thanks Iwan, any words.” the older man shook his head, and the coach cracked his knuckles. “Alright! We got a heck of a game today, yeah? The good news we’ve got an easy start on paper. We can get a win here, then play rivals we care more about. Don’t doubt anyone however. You need to start clicking in the system laid out. I know we didn’t have any games leading up to this, but in practice I saw good form from all of you, really.” Coach Stanimirić clapped, “Hey! We have a great opportunity to flex out muscles today. You’re a team with a lot of attacking potential. I want to see it out there against these people.” Coach got over to his whiteboard “Alright, I want this to be made clear. I know Bergmann, and Leitz, love playing up. However, there is a gap in our center line, and I’ll needy two on the lookout for anyone who tries to exploit our formation. Trust your man up front to get into position, those two are the class of the team. I know the full backs will be ornery to fight. That’s fine by me, just pick your shots right. To add width, we got one less center back than in qualifying. Wald and Jan will be there as solidly as possible. Play it safe you two. I don’t want us giving up five goals.”


At least it wasn’t six goals. Zeta Reka lost 5-4 against The Bluecliff League[*]. Rawić, a real key to the Rekan attack, didn’t score once. Needing a boost, coach Stanimirić let in Rawić’s partner Stojan Heiden. Heiden and Rawić were similar, but Heiden did not score either. “Full respect to the four of you” coach said, pointing to Jad, Kolarowić, Bergmann and the surprise scorer, Wlad Wlad. The post game report was somber, but uplifting. “Good news is that our next opponents are a major target. It was better to get some scoring practice in now, we’ll need some goals every game from here on out.” Coach directed his eyes to Rawić “I’m looking at you two.” he said, pulling his head to Heiden. The two diminutive looking strikers stared a hole into the other. “How’s the stomach, Miloš?” Coach said, walking around, back to his office. “Oh,” Miloš said, “it’s fine. You didn’t need to pull me out of this—” Miloš was interrupted by his own bile, his head falling into a bucket. “Too much pasta?” one player asked, “This place give me the creeps” Miloš said with a hard breath. “In any case, Radowić took care of business well. If Inkopolis ever gets tired of you, I’m sure a scout saw your assist to Kolarowić.” That was the voice of the assistant coach, Mr. Zdrawkowić. “I need air.” Miloš said, rubbing a pained throat from the outside.

Minutes passed. Bogdan scrolling through his phone. “These guys are a trip,” Tina whispered, “want to dump this place, and head back to the hotel?” Bogdan shrugged, “I guess. Shower room here probably isn’t proper for a lady, yeah? Place stinks a bit too. Smells like guys. I know you’re not like the women from the country. But, we’re kind of a clown show at time.” Tina shrugged, “I’m not a lady, just a village brat like you.” Bogdan looked a bit surprised. “Hey,” Tina said, “Not a shock is it? I liked your charity idea for a reason, big guy.” The young man shrugged, “Didn’t think anything of it, where’d you grow up anyhow.” Tina spoke with a hand over her hip “Hope you’re not testing me. I grew up in.” Popowić smiled winked as a dialogue between the two players went fast., “I’ve never heard of it, sorry.” “It’s in Topli-Potok, near the border. Another twist, yeah? I’m a slav from Hügeltaldom.” There was a chuckle, a man standing near them in a towel. “Knew you’d be a bumpkin.” it was Heiden “Shut up, twerp.” Popowić said, her face red. “I’d do more than shut up” a grumpy voice said, “Get your shit on too.” The man at no loss for tough words was Bartolomej, or Barto for short. Hiden scoffed, “You’re not captain anymore.” Barto shrugged “Yeah, but I knock people over twice your size for a lot of money.” Heiden rolled his eyes, walking away, mumbling about “knock knees.”

Once the impish substitute was gone, Barto spoke first, “Sorry he was a bother,” he said “I’ve had it up to hear with him. One of these days he’s gonna embarrass the country real bad.” The younger players were quick to say everything was alright. “Yeah, it’s just he picks his battle, and his enemies. He wasn’t wrong about knock knees either, I feel like I’m over forty some games.” Bogdan shook his head, “You’re here for a reason,” he said. All Barto said a was a simple “yeah” as he made his exit. Tina looked back at “So, how do you like pasta?” Rawić gave a simple grunt of neutrality, “got a preference?” “Just someone to talk to who isn’t a meathead. We can always table that, if you need to get ready for Saltsted.” The young man’s shoulders shrugged, “it’s fine,” he said, getting up from his bench, “and some noodles sound lovely.”

---

[*]Match Stats

Bluecliff League 5–4 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom

---

Starting Lineup

---

GK 01: Zlatko Wukowić
LB 05: Zaur-Luka Igorić: 31', 36'
CB 02: Wlad Wlad
CB 27: Jan Thimig
RB 18: Yuri Kewić
LW 07: Jad: 18'
CM 06: Stani Gröss
AM 11: Želmir Kolarowić: 76', v79'
RW 20: Miloš Simeoniwić: v28'
2S 52: Max-Otto Bergmann: 65'
ST 09: Bogdan Rawić: v70'

---

Substitutes

---

RW 44: Tomislaw Radowić: ^28'
ST 18: Stojan Heiden: ^70'
AM 21: Stanimir Rekawić: ^79'

---

Stats

---

Position: 3rd
Wins: 0
Points: 0
Shots: 16
On Target: 9
Saves: 5
Corners: 10
Fouls: 19
Yellow Cards: 1
Red Cards: 0

[Cassadaigua]

Cup of Harmony 79- Matchday 2, Groups A-H

Group A
Northwest Kalactin 5–2 Frestovenia
Valladares 6–2 Indusse

Group A                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Valladares                       2   2  0  0    8   3  +5    6
2 Northwest Kalactin               2   1  0  1    6   4  +2    3
3 Frestovenia                      2   1  0  1    5   7  −2    3
4 Indusse                          2   0  0  2    4   9  −5    0

Group B
Garbelia 1–6 Mavinet
Newmanistan 2–0 Sharktail

Group B                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mavinet                          2   2  0  0    9   3  +6    6 Q
2 Newmanistan                      2   2  0  0    7   2  +5    6 Q
3 Sharktail                        2   0  0  2    2   5  −3    0
4 Garbelia                         2   0  0  2    3  11  −8    0

Group C
Mytanija 0–2 New Lusitania
Tumbra 4–5 Graintfjall

Group C                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Graintfjall                      2   2  0  0    9   6  +3    6 Q
2 Tumbra                           2   1  0  1    5   5   0    3
3 New Lusitania                    2   1  0  1    4   4   0    3
4 Mytanija                         2   0  0  2    0   3  −3    0

*- Graintfjall has advanced as they cannot fall behind both Tumbra and New Lusitania

Group D
Yuezhou 1–1 TJUN-ia
Sylestone 2–0 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles

Group D                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sylestone                        2   1  1  0    2   0  +2    4
2 TJUN-ia                          2   0  2  0    3   3   0    2
3 Yuezhou                          2   0  2  0    1   1   0    2
4 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles      2   0  1  1    2   4  −2    1

Group E
Hapilopper 1–3 Kohnhead
Baggieland 2–3 Eura

Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Eura                             2   2  0  0    5   3  +2    6 Q
2 Kohnhead                         2   1  0  1    4   3  +1    3
3 Baggieland                       2   0  1  1    4   5  −1    1
4 Hapilopper                       2   0  1  1    3   5  −2    1

Group F
The Gothanita Isles 4–5 Tequilo
Mercedini 4–2 Chartistan

Group F                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mercedini                        2   2  0  0    7   2  +5    6 Q
2 Tequilo                          2   2  0  0    6   4  +2    6 Q
3 Chartistan                       2   0  0  2    2   5  −3    0
4 The Gothanita Isles              2   0  0  2    4   8  −4    0

Group G
Transvolcanic 1–2 Krytenia
Lorrana 1–2 Squornshelan Remnant States

Group G                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Squornshelan Remnant States      2   2  0  0    3   1  +2    6 Q
2 Lorrana                          2   1  0  1    3   2  +1    3
3 Krytenia                         2   1  0  1    2   2   0    3
4 Transvolcanic                    2   0  0  2    1   4  −3    0

*- SRS has advanced as they cannot fall behind both Lorrana and Krytenia

Group H
Flavovespia 0–0 Juvencus
Blouman Empire 3–3 Murphtannia

Group H                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Blouman Empire                   2   1  1  0    5   3  +2    4
2 Murphtannia                      2   0  2  0    4   4   0    2
3 Juvencus                         2   0  2  0    1   1   0    2
4 Flavovespia                      2   0  1  1    0   2  −2    1

[Tumbra]

C O D A

Parts One and Two
Parts Three and Four

V

The night dragged on, and the three were still no closer to making any kind of decision over what they were to do. The bar near the top of the screen was nearly halfway depleted by now; all three of them were loath to admit it, but they’d figured out that if the bar reached zero, then some kind of (presumably extremely painful, not to mention potentially lethal) consequence would occur.

Wearily, they peeked through the options again. Region. Refound. Reset. Destroy.

Region entailed the simplest choice - they could either choose Esportiva, where they’d been since the beginning, Atlantean Oceania, Rushmore or Sonnel. They, however, couldn’t even come to a simple decision on which to choose, with each having merits and drawbacks. The other options were not to be even discussed, with the three not even wanting to contemplate what they entailed.

“Esportiva’s the obvious choice, Your Majesty! We’ve been here for our entire existence, and to leave them would be a betrayal of their trust and of our values of loyalty!” cried Palmer.
“Loyalty’s overrated, Your Majesty. We must think about progress. Something has obviously gone wrong with the region, so much so that we’ve even received this...this thing! We must move,” retorted the Prime Minister.
“And what if the problem isn’t the region, but is us?”

All this while, the King had been sitting behind his desk, fingers interlocked and his forehead leaning on them. He’d given up listening to the two bickering, and was tempted to just drop the Royal Act and whip out the bottle of whisky again. All of that misplaced confidence from earlier on in the day, and for what? This? For the two diametrically opposed people sitting across him just proposing two solutions that didn’t seem better than the other? There were so many unknowns, so many derivatives, so many possibilities...it was practically impossible for the correct choice to be made. The cruelty, the heartlessness of the hand that the Multiverse, whatever it was, had dealt them…

He flipped over to the Refound tab. There were two options.
>Stasis
>Refound, Exact
>Refound, Prime
Those weren’t any better. 66 million people being put into what, a frozen state by the Multiverse until whatever needed to blow over blew over? It was too big a decision to make, too many lives at stake. And what the hell was the difference between “Exact” and “Prime”?

He walked towards the window, and looked out. There, the gleaming night lights of the Goldlion skyline continued to shine as usual. He looked up, into the jet black sky, with nary a star in sight. It was his nation, one that he felt compelled to protect. His grandfather’s words rang out in his ears once more.

And that is to act.
To act.
Act.

He looked back at the two commoners, who were engaged in their argument still, unable to move on from their little basic differences. One opportunist, another a traditionalist still. Unable to look at the threat which was about to engulf their nation.

The progress bar continued to tick down, the noises from the box becoming louder once more. If there was a decision, it had to be made soon. No more contemplating, he thought. The time for stasis was now.

Sitting down, he cleared his throat, louder and louder each time until the two looked back at him like guilty schoolchildren who had been caught not paying attention.

“I’ve come to a decision. I’m going to put the country in stasis until a time in which, God willing, the multiverse allows us to reappear again. This hasn’t been an easy decision to make. I do not know what will happen. I can only pray that we will be alright.”

He grabbed the terminal, and clicked on Stasis.

>Y/N?

Y.

The Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition looked on, almost incredulously, at what had just happened. Then they waited, to see what would happen. The box started whirring and clanking loudly once more. And time seemed to freeze.

VI

Time is not a concept most people can grasp, let alone mould or even unravel its secrets. It is one of the fundamental forces of the universe, yet one that is understood the least. Nobody knows why time cannot be suspended, nor why it is impossible to reverse its flow, at least locally. We know that it, at most, bends, and that it slows down closer to the phenomenon known as a black hole, thanks to the thought experiments of one universe’s most famous physicist and almost universal symbol for scientific thought. Most interpretations of the nebulous concept of “time travel” typically involve convoluted explanations as to how it works, and many a paradox has evolved from it. What if you killed your own grandfather?, one paradox asks. What if humans got into a box, somehow managed to time travel, just to make money? Kill other people who have somehow managed to pervert the course of time? Travel the galaxy with an insanely stunning humanoid-like creature with two hearts in a phone box across the universe? And what if we travelled into the future, just to see what it was like? What would it take to change the future? Do timelines split? Does it somehow all loop back into one? Or does time march on, unconvinced, and each person has their own sense of temporality? Those are but some of the questions that popular culture has asked, to assuage the perhaps almost universal human desire and want for perfection - which includes amending the past such that we arrive at an outcome that us, with our narrow human perceptions of what we deem as “better” or “worse”. But somehow, in considering all this, we also forget that going back in time beds us with the familiar - we’ve seen all this before. We know what it entails. We, who have been through this before, know the exact steps to take (or so we misguidedly think) to avoid the same pitfalls, to reach a better future, or for whatever ends that we would choose to time travel. Spend more time with one cruelly taken before their own, or one taken early into yours. Make amends. Start anew.

But deep down, we perhaps know it is a fantasy. We know that time moves on. We know that it can never be taken back. That is why we try so hard to extend our lives, so that we may have more of it to spend on our own pursuits, on ourselves, on our relationships. An inch of time? An inch of gold? It’s difficult to buy an inch of time with an inch of gold, as the saying goes¹. Or roughly translated it is, anyway. To waste time is akin to wasting away life. To freeze time, however, stopping its flow in place, relegating one to an eternal purgatory, a pocket universe, while another takes its place? More valuable than an inch of gold, for sure.

Almost instantaneously when the button was pushed, a thick fog descended over the nation. Time seemed to freeze, and indeed, for a few moments, it did. Nobody knew where it came from, or what caused it, or what was happening. The only thing that didn’t stand still was the box - almost immediately the box went into overdrive, making sounds nobody had heard coming from it before, revolving on an axis, spinning around. For a brief moment William V began regretting his choice. He rather thought it was beginning to explode But it had been made, and he would live with it, if there even was one left to live.

Then everything began spinning around, disorienting everyone, yet things remained markedly in their place. The small blue, white and red flag of Tumbra that lay on the King’s desk began to...flicker? Like a computer glitch. Its colours faded in and out, and for a brief moment a flag with deep red, black, gold and deep blue flickered onto the desk, before it faded out of existence yet again. The cube itself began to phase in and out of existence too, but this time in a technicoloured version that almost physically hurt to look at. The cube itself began having steam coming out of it, started wheezing like a kettle, and the last thing the King read before his entire field of vision became white was “FATAL ERROR: CODE 1093; IRREDEEMABLE FAILURE DUE TO INACTIVENESS AND/OR OTHER REASON; RETRIEVING AND/OR CREATING TUMBRA PRIME FROM POCKET UNIVERSE; SELF-CORRECTION MEASURES ACTIVATED”

When he awoke, the room was full of ashes, yet he and the other two were unharmed. No injuries, nothing was damaged. The box and terminal were both missing, but the scorch marks they had produced were still visible on the table. There was no indication as to what had happened, yet what had happened certainly was not some kind of crazed fever dream, and that he had not lost his mind. He pinched his wrist. Yes, it was not a dream. He was alive. The air tasted crisper somehow. He took a swig of water. It was the best damn water he’d ever tasted in his life.

King William V of Tumbra sprinted over to the window and flung open the curtains to reveal a night sky full of stars, galaxies, nebulas and other astronomical phenomena - the brightest the night sky had ever been. Across the skies, everything seemed peaceful and normal - a star-filled galaxy, just the same as always. And he smiled, for it seemed that the crisis was over. Gently rousing the two, who had collapsed onto the ground, he informed them that it was okay to leave now, and that their advice was very much welcomed, and that he would see the Prime Minister on Thursday. They left, groggily, leaving the King alone to his business.

But when he pored over the map of the world, it was just Tumbra on the map. Nothing else remained. They were the sole country. He rubbed his eyes to make sure, but soon decided the map was inaccurate somehow. But when he turned on his (non-Multiversal) computer and tried searching for other countries, he was stumped. Nephara. Nothing. Royal Kingdom of Quebec. Nothing. Unified Sunrise Islands. Nothing. Surely all those nations hadn’t disappeared from the map.

He gave it up as the internet having connection issues, and decided to turn in for the night, secure in the knowledge that he had just saved 66 million people, and that Tumbra would live to face another day.

VII

The seas of Esportiva took a while to register the fact that the islands of Tumbra had simply just...disappeared. Some with recollection of the anomalous event - people on fishing boats, out at sea, researchers on the deserted Sarian Islands or the Paradystopi Cheese Desert - recall a giant white light engulfing the islands before abruptly disappearing. And in its place - nothing. Staring into a gigantic chasm where the Tumbran Isles once were. Then the waters started to rush in, producing a thunderous noise as water is wont to do when it goes somewhere in massive volumes.

But by morning, the seas were calm again. The sun rose as per normal, the tides came in as usual. Everything had been corrected. All references to the Tumbran Isles had been scrapped from every history book, every piece of literature, save from where they could not be touched.

Elsewhere in Esportiva, a blindingly white light from space crashed down into the region a few minutes later that night, producing a massive, deafening explosion; the next morning, an entire country was present. This country was called Tumbra, and the people who inhabited it were called Tumbrans. To some, this was clearly wrong; but it was as if they were always here, and that nothing had changed. Those who doubted would forget about the event in a few days anyway. The records would change, as would the history; but there were several unamendable provisions that the Multiverse could not reach. Its former footballing exploits, for example, and its two outings in the World Cup, could not be changed. There was always the odd fellow in an age of discord that would recall Tumbra as an island nation in the north of the world, and not a subcontinent into itself, bustling with human activity since the Dawn of Man, yet one that only bothered to record history since the year 300.

The Correction was complete. Now it only waited for a Return. And the other one? Cast off, forever, to remain there until it was needed again. If ever.

But to keen observers of the night sky, if they looked in the correct spot after that fateful night, they might have seen an additional star that night, just twinkling in the distance.

OOC: ¹ - The Mandarin saying here is 一寸光阴一寸金，寸金难买寸光阴.

[Yue Zhou]

“加油，迪亚多啦！高一点儿!” A fan screamed at Diadora Reeve from the front row as her scuffed shot was deflected out for a corner. At least, she thought it’d been directed at her, although considering how the quarter-Yue right-back had only started learning Yueyu two weeks before, it was possible the fan was just generally upset with the state of things. After all, with just eleven minutes left to play against TJUN-ia, the Dragons were disappointingly one-nil down, a pinpoint first-half header from Kepo Ulawaya proving the difference.

Diadora had always dreamt of representing her country in international competition, and although the Cup of Harmony wasn’t her first choice of competition, she’d been old enough during the Tveidalen Incident to know it was possible. But this, well...this had not been what she’d dreamt of. And everyone around her knew it. When the Yue national team selection had first been announced, her phone had gone off, message after message asking how the hell she had ended up on the other side of the continent, representing a socialist island republic.

The answer was simple enough. Decades ago, infighting in the Yue Socialist Party had broken into outright civil war, as brutal as it had been sudden. Yue academic and noted regime loyalist Zhuang Hengshan had seen the writing on the wall as the People’s Republic had gone down in flames. By the time the People’s Federation had risen from the ashes, Zhuang was long gone, settling in Cranequin, and making a new life for himself in a faraway land. While his shaky English and, more importantly, diehard support for a deposed socialist regime made him ill-suited to the types of positions he'd had back home, the newly-christened “Henry Zhuang” was able to get by through a series of adjunct gigs with the more radical side of Nepharan academia.

Zhuang Hengshan was long gone by the time Diadora Reeve had returned to his homeland, something he himself had never even considered as first the autocratic Ren Qiang and then southern capitalists, of all people, took control of the nation. But by then, the imprint he’d left on future generations was starting to fade as well. Growing up in first Cranequin and then a pretty Nepharan neighborhood of Sabrefell, her (half-Yue) mother had tried to keep her involved with that culture. But everyone had been busy growing up, especially after her knack for football had been unearthed, and there just hadn’t been enough time in each day to maintain that level of exposure. By the time she’d entered North Sabrefell’s academy, she barely even thought of that part of her heritage. So for her to get called up to the Yue national team several years later came as a bit of a shock.

She’d gotten the call from her agent a few months earlier, explaining that Yuezhou manager Yuan Zilai wanted to add her to the qualifying squad for World Cup 87 qualifiers. Of course, she’d asked first what her chances of someday making it to the Nepharan national team, even if deep down, she knew the answer. Her agent had just responded: “Yeah, uh, so at fullback, Nephara’s got Muscadin, Rostock, Lind…”

So she’d flown to Yincheng for the first time. At any other time, it would have been a major controversy in the People’s Federation. But they were slightly busy with an all-consuming Civil War at the time, and she’d only played in a few matches anyways, so she’d flown under the radar back then. But now that Yuezhou was re-opening under new management and playing at a major (by Yue standards) international competition again, Diadora Reeve was back under the microscope that was Yuezhou’s newly-freed - and even more rabid because of that - press. While the new government was holding her up as an example of Yuezhou’s new open-door policies, conservative talk shows were lambasting the FA, Lu Jialan, and Nephara in general for allowing her to even step foot on the pitch.

All this had added up to a relatively diminished role for her, even though she played at roughly the same level - Nephara’s First Division - as basically the rest of the national team. But with his side chasing a goal in a pivotal group stage fixture, Lu Jialan had opted to roll the dice, bringing her in for Ren Fang while shifting the more conservative Zhu Aiguo from right-back to center-back.

Diadora lined up with the rest of the team for the corner. Li Jing took the ball and played it short to Wen Xiaohui, who cut by Aron McKenna and whipped a low cross into the box. The ball pinballed within the gaggle of bodies, took one final deflection off of either Kallah Umakala, and fell to...an unmarked Diadora Reeve, who instinctively sent it into the top-right corner. One-all.

Diadora ran up to the stands and slid, arms stretched out wide, with her teammates mobbing her from behind. Her Yueyu was still very much a work in progress. But the roar of the Yue fans and the elation of the crowd in front of her...well, that was one thing that wouldn’t get lost in translation.

[Twicetagram and JYPe]

Tina Kinavrei: Fast Food Worker
Tina had gotten used the immense heat from the kitchen, the oh-so-rude customers and her menacing manager pretty quickly. 3 months in this hellhole, a few more left to go before she earned enough money to rent a house. I mean, Tina did drop out of high school, and she wasn't able to get an internship anywhere. Losing all hope of getting a decent earning job, Tina had no choice but to work for a measly fast food restaurant in suburban Twice Square.

"How did I get into this situation anyway..." was the thought that resonated in her mind. Maybe if she weren't so complacent, she would be playing professional footie and earning a lot of cash. At the same time, was it her fault? Her parents were divided on her career path. Her father wanted her to be a professional football player, whereas her mother waned her to pursue something in academics. Tina became sad whenever her parents fought over this, because there wasn't really a win-win scenario. The only win-win scenario was playing professional while studying. Unfortunately, her parents could only afford to do either.

Later on when her mother passed on, Tina chose to drop out of high school to focus on her footballing career. I mean, when mother isn't here, you don't have to conform to what she wants you to be, right? Her father was a bit conflicted on this matter. A 15 year old dropping out this early wasn't exactly what one would call a perfect scenario. In fact, it was far from perfect. What if she didn't make it the the youth teams? What would her future be? But at the same time, going professional was what her father wanted. Then again, would he really want his child to lack a childhood?

As if Satan was the one answering him, his fears turned out to be true. After merely a few months, Tina was kicked out of her academy. Why? Because her performance was deteriorating rapidly. Her behaviour had been even worse than before. Tina had no answer to why those were when her father angrily interrogated her. The next few weeks were basically trauma for both of them. It wouldn't make much sense to reapply to school shortly after dropping out. She could technically go to another school but she'd have to start from year 1. Those days were spent in silence and sadness. Tina tried to look for a good job, but couldn't, obviously. Just as her life was going to return to normal, her father suicided.

The next few days, Tina wondered whether she would follow in her father's footsteps. Just then, she saw an ad for a part time job in a fast food restaurant. "This is it!" Tina thought. She applied, and through some kind of magic, got the job. The job was, to say the least, not as easy going as she expected. The customers were even worse than those in the city, the manager was a shouting loudspeaker, and the kitchen was more of a furnace. Tina questioned her decision, but after a while, had gotten used to it. Maybe it ran in her genes: adapting to any scenario, for better or for worse.

After her shift had ended, Tina walked towards a certain field. Right, the Tvoygrad RFS Academy. The place where she had spent a large amount of her childhood at. Tina didn't want to go back home, which smelt like a rotten corpse. She didn't want to remember the negative connotations of home. Lying down near the garbage dumpster, Tina imagine what her life would have been if she had become a professional. Maybe she'd have a large following, easy cash and a very good house. Not to mention, her father would still be with her.

"Please, please accept me back. I can be even better." Tina pleaded towards the field in front of her. She knew her hopes would not come true, though. She shed a tear.

[Bluecliff]

Flashy, flashy, flashy, flashy flashy flashy. Flashy flashy flashy, flashy flashy.

That was the essence of the instructional sheet that was given to Ándželo Tuľo Tores Moreno, ten minutes before he was appointed as the new manager for the Bluecliff team at the Cup of Harmony (fifteen minutes after he accepted and one minute before he was paraded in front of the press like a prime Anatarīpatuhianatan show-gecko). It wasn't like he wasn't used to it.

It was like he was used to it.

Ándželo Tuľo Tores Moreno didn't become the winningest and most tactically innovative (the media's words, not his) manager in the Fourteen Free Cities and Urban Areas of the Bluecliff League by not being tactically innovative or winning. And to be tactically innovative and winning, one must of course be flashy, flashy, flashy, flashy flashy flashy. Flashy flashy flashy, flashy flashy. High-flying attacking football at all costs and joys.

The assignment itself was a bit new, however.

Usually, and generally, and most often in his career, Ándželo Tuľo Tores Moreno (Ántu for short after his mid-childhood nickname) had been on the other side of the flash and the bustle and the flashbulbs and the manufactured hype and the artificial hysteria and the sleek polish meticulously placed over the unacknowledged and -genuinely!- miniscule pit of despair and insignificance. Now, however, rather than lean into the hype, he was being asked (by a multiplicity of very powerful lobbying interests, executives, and really just random bankers in from off the assorted banker streets) to create the hype.

And while Ándželo Tuľo Tores Moreno (Ántu for short after his mid-childhood nickname) was very, very, very good at leaning into hype, not to mentioning playing insanely attractive and good-looking attacking football, he was certainly not the man to create a hubbub. That was better left to the hubbub professionals that the Bluecliff League's Football Federation had specifically contracted to handle the matter.

And yet here he was. 5-4 over Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom, and he'd have a better time parsing out which was Zeta Reka and which was Hügeltaldom than he would actually advancing the fiduciary interests of the Bluecliff League Football Federation's main sponsors and official partners and certified potatoe chip conglomerates.

Zeta Reka is the mainland? That can't be right

Hügeltaldom is the mainland. Wrong again

Hügeltaldom is the mainland and Zeta Reka is also the mainland

Zeta and Reka are both islands, Hügeltaldom is the sea, there is no mainland.

The North and West is Zeta Reka, the Southeast is Hügeltaldom?
Of course not, this one makes far too much sense.

Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom are both independent free cities in loose but vaguely hostile relation with one another, the union having been made to bolster foreign policy and international strength without affecting domestic dynamics?

Now that's boneheadly stupid. Can't be it.

The key to discussing this type of utter nonsense with the few press who show up is to somehow tie it in to the marketing plan. The hype! Ándželo Tuľo Tores Moreno (Ántu for short after his mid-childhood nickname) wasn't good at that. Ándželo Tuľo Tores Moreno (Ántu for short after his mid-childhood nickname) was good at a couple things. Among them - tactical innovation. Winning. Flash. Flash, flash, flash, flash flash flash. Flash flash flash, flash flash.

[Mriin]

Maal Memoirs
Sports
50 Huays To Leave Your Tourney

Yon Kegaant
Grande Mountain, Cassadaigua

In another timeline tonight's opening match would have been a traditional passing of the torch. An Atlantian Oceanian power on the way out and a bright young star of the region meeting at a pivotal crux of both of their arcs. Both having had very strong qualifying performances that were very narrowly not good enough to crack the final thirty-two. A sign of weakness in one; a sign of strength in the other. Were Huayramarca to topple the Mrii on the grand stage of Peak’n’Break Stadium, it would have been trumpeting an announcement that they were now a team to beat rather than a team to watch—qualification or no. But we're in this timeline, where the Reavers stepped up and started their farewell tour on the right hoof.

The enigmatic Huayramarcan El huayco style of play is a curious juxtaposition when set in front of Tailtiu Brennan's squad. Aggressively pressing in the face of losing possession into a side well-versed in the counterattacking arts is a risky play, to say the least. But it's also an unexpected one when employed with the speed and fervor possessed by the Huayramarcans. Twice in the first half Ian Mamani unhanded Shiida Roesler within seconds of Shiida unhanding one of his teammates! The second instance elicited a noticeable groan from the Mrii contingent in the stands; from certain angles you could predict it before she even got possession.

The match featured an unusually high number of long shots throughout its runtime. While the Huayramarcans generally might reserve such tactics for home games in their mountainous stadiums, the satyr love for just fuckin' blootering was infectious on the day. And it was probably preferable to going toe-to-hoof with the hulking satyr defenders that deeper runs would require. As such, it was quite a workout for both Juan Mamani and Dun Mekeus—and both proved up to the task. Four first-half saves for Mamani and three for Mekeus with neither seeming in major danger of letting one through. Going into halftime, it seemed like a tactical shakeup on either side might be necessary for a single goal to be found.

The defining moment of the match would come in the seventy-sixth minute, where Otalia Kasmiir was able to find away past Orlando Mina's previously oppressive coverage and launch the Reaver's mere third attack into the heart of the Huayramarcan defense; a pass shuffled off to Filia Draaken would give the wingback ample time to get in position and nail a cross to Istria Saara's horns. Istria simply does not waste opportunities like that. A flick of her head down and to the right, and her horns guide the ball into the right-hand netting with laser precision; Mamani simply didn't have the footing to cover that severe an angle pulled off at a split-second's notice.

Momentum would remain in the Reavers' favor as time wound down, but that doesn't mean things were done and dusted. Abraham Mendoza in particular was clearly only motivated by the deficit, nearly equalizing on a solo effort against the run of play five minutes later. It took Karii Bruun threatening to flatten him into a fine paste to take the shot slightly off-balance and give Dun the half-step he needed to keep his sheet clean. The three minutes of injury time went by with comparatively little incident, and the clean 1-0 victory juxtaposed harshly with the 4-all draw Ibixa and Garifunya would play out later that day.

Mriin - 1
Saara 76'
Huayramarca - 0

[Recuecn]

Franky had had so many doubts leading up to the opening game of the Cup of Harmony, and in this he was not alone. Tremblay's retirement announcement - something everyone had been anticipating with dread, yet still a shock to everyone - had hung over the whole team like a raincloud. Yet as Franky stepped onto the pitch, the crowd cheering around him, sweat beading on his brow under the floodlights' glare, he was brimming with overconfidence. Reçueçn's performance was sliding, perhaps, but it couldn't be denied that they were one of the highest-ranked teams in the tournament, and still favorites to win the group.

Emanuele, lining up behind Franky, showed signs of the same excitement. He fidgeted, full of nervous energy. He stretched, pulling his arms across his chest in turn and jogging in place, knees high, cheering for his teammates. Franky won the coin flip and that won a shout. "Let's go Franky!" Franky indicated he wanted to start with the ball, then turned and grinned at Emanuele.

On the sideline, Bonheur, the assistant coach, paced up and down, yelling to encourage the players in his own way, albeit in a slightly harsher tone. On the bench, Jayson and Robert smiled at each other while Marc and Quentin cracked jokes. Only a few faces still bore the somber gravity of the past few days: Gerauld, digging in his cleats at the goal line, hyper-focused on the game about to start; Lukas, standing between Franky and Emanuele and glowering across the midline at the Bolts; and Jacques Tremblay, the man himself, standing in the technical area at the very edge of the pitch and looking into middle distance with a thoughtful gaze. The mere lack of evident joy in their faces, however, did not indicate that any of them expected a defeat at the hands of the 55th-ranked team in the multiverse - for none of them did.

The whistle blew and Franky kicked off with a quick pass back to Saunders. Harold charged forward, the vanguard in an all-out attack as the forwards ran into space ahead of him, throwing their traditionally Reçuecian defense to the winds for the moment. Saunders passed to Lebo, but he was instantly confronted by Nindethana, and soon Moore was coming to his aide. Trapped on the sidelines, Lebo paused, turned, and went back the way he came. He found Hebron, who centered to Franky. Then Franky found himself in trouble, switched over to Tegeler, and they tried it again. And again.

The sharp attack continued unabated for several minutes while the fans cheered enthusiastically and the commentators marveled at the sudden tactical change. It was eight minutes before the first real shot on goal, a 26 yard educated guess from Saunders, and another six before the first attempt that posed any real danger: a beautiful centering volley from Lebo that Franky coyly let slip past behind him for Tegeler to try to slip it quietly into the corner. Mills, caught wrongfooted, changed his momentum in mid-air to produce a jaw-dropping dive and just barely hit the ball out for a corner kick. Tegeler took it, but Franky lost his header battle with Sapper and Electrum charged away with a counterattack.

It was the last real Reçuecian attack of the half. Les licornes already appeared winded, and they fell back to their typical defensive formation, shutting down the Electrumite counterattack and any subsequent attacks, but barely venturing onto their opponents' third of the field. Possession, which had been almost entirely Reçuecian, switched hands, and between the 20-minute mark and the halftime whistle, the Bolts had the ball 68% of the time. Not that they found much they could do with it. One long-distance rocket from McCourtney hit the crossbar for a goal kick, but nothing else would make the highlight reel. It was hard to imagine the game would not play out to a draw.

Tremblay let Relié give the locker-room speech at half-time - a good sign that in his opinion, although not yet an emergency, the game wasn't going particularly well, and the players needed a fire lit under them. Relié, as usual, lit into them, calling them out for their insipid performance at the end of the half. "This is a team trying to redeem itself!?" he asked. "This is a team trying to make it's departing coach proud!? Give me a break. No it's not. I've seen you run faster to the lunch line in the training center cafeteria. Now get back out there and show me that you still have any energy left."

The second half began with a similar attack. Tegeler led the charge this time, juking past defenders as his team tried to set up an attacking position further up the field than before. But once again, the attack only lasted about ten minutes. Soon the midfielders' feet began to drag and each time they ran back toward their own goal, they were slower to cross back over toward the Electrumites'. Tremblay started to make subs. Leclair, his signature substitution when settling into a defensive position stayed on the bench, and his choices seemed targeted toward the attack, but few results were visible.

Then, in the 72nd minute, as the Bolts pressed an attack, Cutrona dove into a sliding tackle, stripping McCourtney of the ball. It rolled away from her, and was picked up by none other than Franky, further back than he had any right to be. Turning on the jets, he dashed forward, only one defender between him and the goal. He sprinted down the field, both teams at his back like a herd of bison, and easily outpaced Moore to make it a one-on-one with Mills. Franky faked a shot in the right upper ninety. Mills dove. Franky darted left and tapped the ball toward the far post, then whirled away, arms raised in victory.

But the ball didn't go in. The noise of ball against wood caught Franky's ears and he turned to see the ball rolling away frome the post. The cameras caught his reaction, broadcasting his dismayed look across the multiverse. Mills had already scrambled to his feet and dove forward now, clutching the ball, staggering upright, and launching it down the field. The Reçuecians, stunned in disbelief, took a moment to react as now it was the Electrumites who dashed down the field with a breakaway, beating les licornes to their own goal for a five-on-three attack. The ÉNRF didn't stand a chance. A couple beautiful passes to find open space, and Seb buried a beautiful shot in the net as Gerauld went to ground helplessly.

Somehow, of course, the Reçuecians found the energy to go on the offensive again. Down a goal, they charged down the field repeatedly, more and more desperately and more and more often as the clock neared 90. To no avail. The somber look with which Tremblay had watched the game open remained on his face as he watched it close, his team now only one loss away from potential elimination.

[Northwest Kalactin]

Group I
Jeruselem 4–4 Xanneria
San Ortelio 3–3 Netop

  Group I                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 San Ortelio                    2   1  1  0    5   4  +1    4
  Xanneria                       2   1  1  0    5   4  +1    4
3 Jeruselem                      2   0  1  1    5   6  −1    1
4 Netop                          2   0  1  1    3   4  −1    1

Group J
Huayramarca 1–0 Garifunya
Mriin 6–3 Ibixa

  Group J                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mriin                          2   2  0  0    7   3  +4    6
2 Huayramarca                    2   1  0  1    1   1   0    3
3 Garifunya                      2   0  1  1    4   5  −1    1
4 Ibixa                          2   0  1  1    7  10  −3    1

Group K
Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom 1–0 Saltstead
Bluecliff League 2–1 Kandorith

  Group K                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Bluecliff League               2   2  0  0    7   5  +2    6
2 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom      2   1  0  1    5   5   0    3
3 Kandorith                      2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
4 Saltstead                      2   0  0  2    1   3  −2    0

Group L
Saint-Domingue 1–0 Hebitaka
Squidroidia 3–5 Omerica

  Group L                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Saint-Domingue                 2   2  0  0    2   0  +2    6
2 Omerica                        2   1  1  0    6   4  +2    4
3 Hebitaka                       2   0  1  1    1   2  −1    1
4 Squidroidia                    2   0  0  2    3   6  −3    0

Group M
Abanhfleft 3–2 Barunia
Wreckeria 2–4 Darmen

  Group M                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                     2   1  1  0    4   3  +1    4
2 Barunia                        2   1  0  1    6   6   0    3
3 Darmen                         2   1  0  1    7   6  +1    3
4 Wreckeria                      2   0  1  1    3   5  −2    1

Group N
South Covello 0–1 HUElavia
Euran Oceanic Territories 4–4 North Japan

  Group N                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 HUElavia                       2   2  0  0    6   3  +3    6
2 Euran Oceanic Territories      2   0  2  0    4   4   0    2
3 South Covello                  2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1
4 North Japan                    2   0  1  1    7   9  −2    1

Group O
Gyatso-Kai 2–5 Recuecn
Balqia 2–1 Electrum

  Group O                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Balqia                         2   2  0  0    7   4  +3    6
2 Electrum                       2   1  0  1    2   2   0    3
3 Recuecn                        2   1  0  1    5   3  +2    3
4 Gyatso-Kai                     2   0  0  2    5  10  −5    0

Group P
Twicetagria 6–2 Sargossa
Busoga Islands 1–0 Mapletish

  Group P                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Twicetagria                    2   2  0  0    8   2  +6    6
2 Busoga Islands                 2   1  0  1    1   2  −1    3
3 Sargossa                       2   1  0  1    5   8  −3    3
4 Mapletish                      2   0  0  2    2   4  −2    0

[Tequilo]

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - Mad crazy football in Northwest Kalactin as Tequilo secure a place in the knockout stages of the Cup of Harmony...

Los Pitxileros are through with a game to spare! Want to know what's going on in the world's second best football tournament? Let the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Daily keep you up to date with the action - all your favourite bits, in brief - plus the usual generous amount of extras. All this week: Our traditional Copametro - every Tequilo match, covered. Stats, ratings, reports, line-ups and more. Plus - Rúi de Los Rovas: season 3 reboot of the famous old comic strip, only in your Daily issue of GOLa; Postcards from The Multiverse: our dedicated followers of Los Pitixileros, the Ultra-Mariachi supporters band and Basilico the Cactus Terrier are on tour, and they'll be letting us know what the food is like in NWK; and of course our regular column, Letters To The Editor. You can write in too, if you want to - address your fascinating texts to spambucket@gola.teq or drop a letter in the mail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé¹

But first, part two of the new serialised story from our sister publication, the Extra: how a former national team goalkeeper became Tequilo's Most Wanted. And we don't mean on the transfer list!

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EL COYOTE
Part 2/3: Kidnapping

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Part 0 - Previously on García de Corcoles
Part 1 - Recruiting García de Corcoles

The flight out to his first mission for the Tönjes Rúler Sect was hardly of the luxurious private jet class that they had used to bring him for an audience with Tönjes Rúler himself. This was more the airborne equivalent to Sven Deranger’s fishing boat that had sunk in the gulf of Tequilo. And I use the word ‘airborne’ advisedly. It reminded García of a Rúi de Los Rovas comic strip he had once read about ill-fated fantasy footballer Emiliano Sala. To take his mind off the rickety old plane heading out to Isla Palnoa, García considered his new identity. Well, two identities really. “The day of the coyote is coming,” Tönjes Rúler had said, “and you are García El Coyote, my friend!” But his new military identity cards and passport had a slightly less glamorous ring to them. Major Rodrigo Rumbo, Special Forces. He’d rather be a coyote than… whatever a rumbo was.

On the ground at the airstrip on Palnoa, miraculously landed without incident or injury, the militia chaps gave him a flip-phone and the keys to the RV parked at the edge of the airstrip, which he had mistakenly thought was abandoned for scrap, like much of the island, so far as he could see on his way down to the landing strip. A shabby sort of paradise. They pushed the plane under a thatch of palms that passed for a hangar in these parts, and distributed cans of SunBeer™ from a cool box - though not to García the Coyote. “You go get the targets,” said one of the militants, “we’ll get the barbecue on.”

The battered old RV eventually started after offering some resistance to the mission ahead. While he waited for it to warm up a bit, García sent the pre-planned text message to GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!! Magazine, condemning Ao-centrism in the furore about a pretend pandemic in the Rúi comic, and then cranked the old bus into gear and made his way off the airstrip. The militia waved him off, with what he felt was a dramatic sort of sarcasm.

LA MEDIDA (CAMP KIPPO), ISLA PALNOA, ANTIVADOR: García de Corcoles pulls up in his battered RV outside the gates of the refurbished holiday resort, home to but two residents and a small army of staff. An armed guard comes to the window of the RV, and García shows him a fake military ID with the pseudonym Major Rodrigo Rumbo, Special Forces. He produces some paperwork, which looks perfectly passable.

“Emergency transfer order for Patients 4 & 5 - Señors Entenza & Alemán,” says García, sounding authoritative despite his beach-bum appearance. The suspicious guard looks up and down the old RV, and at the scruffy major.

“Seems like a funny thing to be transferring them in,” he wonders.

“All hell has broken loose since the Inquiry,” replies the fake major, drawing on a very plausible source, “and this location has been compromised in the media; I’m part of a covert team to get them to their next secure location. Let me in, soldier, we need to be damn quick about this. Angry hippies are inbound.”

The guard thinks for a moment, hands back the papers and ID card, raises the barrier and signals him through, muttering under his breath. “Skraight.”

“Get in the bluddy Rova!” said Major Rumba, as the two kip-jammed patients, Luka Entenza and Tomás Alemán, late of the Tequilo national football team, prevaricated in the compound and the staff began to get suspicious about the Major’s true identity and motivations. The commanding officer on site, one Lieutenant Aiz, told the Major to hold for one moment while he called HQ to check, and went off to the office to place his call.

“All I talm bout skraight is dat ion know y sumn been made to try fo no reason buh is skraight at da same time not fin speck nun bet out of it cuh das juh how it be” said Tomás and he and Luka fell about laughing.

“Shitshitshit” said Major Rumba. It was time to escalate to plan shitshitshit. As Luka was at that very moment doing a little jig at the open door of the RV’s leisure compartment, El Coyote concluded a little force could go a long way to saving this mission, and booted Luka in the arse so that he fell into the van with a yelp; and then taking Tomás in a brace hold, more or less threw him in behind, and slammed the door shut. An attendant on poolside let up a cry at witnessing applied force and ran for the office and the lieutenant. García jumped into the RV and attempted to start it. Nothing.

He tried again. Nothing. Looking over to the office, he could see the pool attendant remonstrating with the officer. “Shitshitshit” he said. He tried turning the RV engine over again, as the officer stepped out with a pistol at his hip which he was bringing to bear on the matter in hand. Finally, the engine caught and the RV revved into life, a cloud of black smoke bursting from the back of the van. García jammed the stick into gear and launched out of the compound, smashing through the barrier on his way.

“Yo yo yooooooooh!” cried Luka, in the back of the van, “skraight, man!”

FOUR TIMES BEHIND IN DOGGED WIN

THE GOTHANITA ISLES 4-5 TEQUILO HT: 3-3
Location: @ Kempsey Centre, Kempsey, Northwest Kalactin
Attendance: 47,921 and the Ultra Mariachi Band (8 sombreros+dog)
Scorers: Ladislava Tyler 8' 25' 34' Abdelkader Kartal 57' | Niño Pinto 21' Alexandro Calvoecheaga 36'80' Tlacolotl 40' (pen.) Vilca Hualla 61'
Assists: Sardar Chaplin 8' Remus McQueen 25' Grigorii McCrory 57' | Ixtub Tün 21' Tlacolotl 36' Alexandro Calvoecheaga 61'
Booked: Ayokunle Christian, Remus McQueen, Grigorii McCrory | Huachalla
Injured: Vilca Hualla (severity 2/20), Alexandro Calvoecheaga (2/20)
Tequilo Line-Up: (4-1-3-2) Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Blêxu, Antton Machinena, Huracan, Huachalla (sub: Tutayan 69') | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C) (sub: Xaime Medal 84'), Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga (sub: Pedro Rôa 81')
Player of the Match: Vilca Hualla (Tequilo)

---

COMEBACK KINGS PAPER OVER CONSIDERABLE CRACKS

Watching as a neutral, this was an epic struggle of two forward-facing sides determined simply to outscore one another regardless of the defence. Reading on paper, this was another win for the Agave-Blues to clinch a place in the knockout stages of the Cup of Harmony. But if you are coach August Toset, or one of the eight Tequilo fans in the stadium, or Basilico the Cactus Terrier, this was a frightening kamikaze match, lacking in any sort of game management or common sense, which fortunately and against all odds ended in Tequilo's favour. Four times Tequilo fell behind against what started as a well-organised Yellow Lions team but which, taking a cue from their opponents, descended into a similar form of desperate 1-1-8 all-out attacking formation. Led by an inspired Ladislava Tyler who scored a first half hatrick, TGI had closed the ratings gap within eight minutes and gave Los Pitxileros quite the going over. Four times Tequilo hauled themselves back into the game, with a splendid display by Alexandro Calvoecheaga who has so far upstaged our heroic lead striker Tlacolotl in this tournament, and captain Vilca Hualla who, unable to keep his team from bad decision-making and full-blooded charges up the pitch, at least retained discipline in his own performance and, finally, when Alexandro had put Tequilo ahead for the first time in nine goals, with only ten minutes to go, he managed to get his message across - "calm the f- down" he was heard to yell, shortly before going off with a minor injury he'd been carrying for most of the game.

Both coaches summarised the match with similar appraisals - brilliant watching, awful technical application. Coach August went so far as to say "the audience got a 9/10 match. The coaches got a -9. We have a lot of work to do before Sunday night..."

The group decider and crucially the knockout round fixture decider comes up next as Tequilo meet old friend/foes Mercedini, whom they have been grouped with in every Cup of Harmony they have featured in - so far both previous ties ending in a draw. Anything but a win this time will see Tequilo finish behind the Dini, but on the evidence of the thrilling but wobbly games so far, three points does not look very likely. Two key players will sit out with minor knocks, captain Vilca Hualla and striker Alexandro Calvoecheaga will both be on the bench but coach August does not want to risk exacerbating their injuries with a confirmed knockout match to come. Vilca Hualla will be replaced in a straight swap by 1830 Cathair's Xaime Medal, and there will be no concerns about his ability or leadership; Alexandro may be a bigger loss as his form has been electric in the first two games as scorer and provider; Ecuador will return to replace him. With Eolo Sorazar injured and unavailable, Huachalla is the only named rightback in the squad and is on a yellow card - a second booking against Dini will see him suspended for the round of 32 with coach August having to select someone out of position for that match.

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TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY

Competition goals: Alexandro Calvoecheaga (2) Blêxu, Niño Pinto, Tlacolotl, Vilca Hualla (1)

Competition assists: Alexandro Calvoecheaga (2) Ixtub Tün, Tlacolotl

Competition PoMs: Niño Pinto, Vilca Hualla (1)

Competition cards: Ecuador, Noxochinoch, Huachalla (1)

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Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Mercedini
@ Kempsey Centre, Kempsey, Northwest Kalactin

(4-1-3-2)
Oscar Bienvenida (C) | Blêxu, Antton Machinena, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Xaime Medal (VC), Niño Pinto, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Ecuador

Injured and unavailable for bench: Eolo Sorazar

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
The things that are really disrupting your harmonies right now

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Good morning everyone. We have letters!

Daniella Strauss of Nephara has become a hot topic in the postbag after contacting the DAILY desk (“I wasn’t fired”, Thursday’s letters) and regular provocateur ‘Orejas Grandes’ sums up the mood with his short note: “She was totally fired.”

Bappa Tiza of Santa Clares wants to talk about the Cup of Harmony: “Finally the end is in sight! I love the World Cup cycle, I really do. But it does get in the way of everything else in life, don’t you think? I don’t agree with Martín (Costello, yesterday’s letters, “let’s do better than the round of 32”) and would be perfectly happy if we could go out at the group stage so I don’t have to write in any more - speaking of which, what fool at the Unión signed us up for the Mike Sarzo, the IAC, the under-18 WC, the Di Bradoccio, the Oxen Cup and the World Cuppet?”

Meanwhile Juanita Lirraytegui’s letter (“I hope the matriarchs of Cassadaigua won’t be horrible” last week’s letters) (also “boys are a bit thick” - same letter) had the desired effect and had many of you writing in to agree, disagree, congratulate or chastise young Juanita, aged six and three quarters. In particular, Priamo Lirraytegui chastised: “I am cross with my daughter for deliberately provoking a debate about gender equality in an inappropriate forum and have sent her to bed with the url for F7.”

Calm and helpful Aurora Pozo notes: “I don’t know about the playground at Juanita’s school, but I am assured things are much more progressive these days in Cassadaigua.”

Regular correspondent Rùben Curto of Chanco Cóndor wants to remind us the Cup of Harmony isn’t even in Cassadaigua: “With all this unverified talk of Cassadaiguan gender-based cyber-terrorism, let’s not forget some relevant facts, like this year’s Cup of Harmony is being held in Southeast Kalactin.”

Gender-based cyber-terrorism? Well that escalated quickly. Tord Ratinusk writes all the way from Wight, with a celebratory tone: “Congratulations on winning the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy at the Mike Sarzo Stadium in Sarzonia! I hope the turnaround from Mike Sarzo lame ducks (Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy, 2 years ago) to Mike Sarzo Champions can be replicated in the Cup of Harmony where your country has hardly set the world alight, so far!” - Err, thanks Tord. I think.

Finally, since there has been nothing more concrete from García de Corcoles since the peculiar text message to the editor about Ao cultural imperialism [other forms of communication preferred - Ed.], we resort to reverting to our traditional process of citizen journalism - that is to say, your gossip letters - to keep track of the former goalkeeper gone native. Or rogue. We’re not sure which. Anyway, Sylvia Bombarra of Lipa is first in line with some useful gossip: “I just got back from a trekking holiday on Isla Palnoa and I’m quite sure I saw García having a barbeque outside a beat-up old RV next to the airstrip - which I must say is terribly unkempt and bumpy these days.”

Do you mean García, the RV or the airstrip, Sylvia?

If you have spotted García, want to want to disagree with our correspondents or just like to share your opinion on the pitxi, please drop us a line at Letters To The Editor, spambucket@gola.teq or slowmail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé.¹.

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[1]Or TG Tequilo and we'll be sure to publish you in the next edition of the DAILY!

[Baggieland]

[Squidroidia]

Riiiiiing! Riiiiing!

It was the phone call Manager Mito feared would happen sooner rather than later. A valiant effort against a full-strength Omerica team wasn't enough to keep Squidroidia in contention for the knockout stages of the Cup of Harmony, and, like the Squidroidian Football Association feared, he was going to get the sack. He was their first national team manager, he took them to highs in the IAC and Baptism of Fire, exciting matches against the Darmens, Kelsseks, Flavovespias and Quebecs of the world in qualification for the World Cup, but now it was an excruciating low... The death nail for his job managing the national team. Talking heads were ready to dissect every blunder he had during the 2 games he had in the Cup of Harmony. He could already think that they would destroy him for the Mathieu Ahearn goal during the Saint-Domingue game... The failure to adapt to tactics, the "same old Squidroidia" that was present in every national team. The last memory he would have with the Inklings? Waving goodbye to them in Rutland, knowing this was the end of the road.

With a heavy heart, he finally picked up his call, and was greeted on the other side by SFA President Fukuhara Himeko. Upon saying hello to the leader of Squidroidian football's governing body, he heard a heavy sigh. "...You were expecting this, Manager Mito", she said, sitting in her chair at the SFA headquarters. President Himeko was ready to leave all the history, the triumphs in their first tournaments, all behind. She had the P45, the pink slip, the notice of termination, whatever you liked to call it. And with the results in the Cup of Harmony? She wasn't afraid to give it to Mito. She was ready to move on.

"President, you know I was forced into this hole, right?" Ryūzaki pleaded, to which Fukuhara would respond. "Admittedly, yes. You had a tough group in World Cup qualification, so beating Darmen and Kelssek to a qualification spot was going to be nigh impossible. That Cup of Harmony group? If it wasn't for a World Cup style group of 4 and especially that loss to Saint-Domingue I wouldn't have called you now. But, of course, every problem has to start somewhere, so let me utter you some words."

The voice on the other line went silent for a second. President Himeko pulled up the list of total fixtures for the Squidroidian national team and went over to the last IAC they partook in, the 11th edition. The result jumped out at her. The loss that started the decline of the Squidroidian national team.

"Squidroidia 1, Megistos 3."

The loss in the Quarter-Finals. After beating Trolleborg in the Round of 16, this game against Megistos, or at the time jokingly called "Free Republics", was supposed to be easy. An easy trip to the IAC semi-finals in Havynwilde, one marked with protests and controversy, their second trip to the semis in the biggest competition for Independent associations. And yet, they would lose in excruciating fashion. Megistos on that day weren't taking it easy, and that elimination... Without it, Mito wouldn't have been where he is now - Ready to leave the national team due to poor performance. If they went back to the Semi-Finals then, heck, if they went to the Final, then at the very least Manager Mito would have IAC 12 to turn it around and save his job with a deep run. As the scoreline settled in, President Himeko was almost ready to let him go.

"Without that loss in the IAC, I wouldn't even BE here ready for you to be let go of your duties. You understand this, right? Megistos were EASY, beat Trolleborg the game before, but guess what? YOU started the downward spiral. THAT LOSS started the downward spiral. If it wasn't for Megistos beating your Inklings team, then I would have treated this elimination with an ultimatum for the next IAC - Do well or you're fired. I'm sorry, Manager Mito, but it's true... No second chances for you today!"

With a slam on the desk, President Himeko was ready to lash out the 2 words she didn't want to say to such a talented national team manager, one that managed them throughout their history. She wanted him to, at the very least, resign due to personal issues or spend the rest of his career, up until retirement, with the Inklings. Maybe an IAC victory would've been on the cards for them should that had happened... But Ryūzaki knew better. He was ready to start anew, move on to greener pastures elsewhere, 2 simple words stabbing his heart, making him start soul searching elsewhere.

"...Manager Ryūzaki Mito... I hate to say this, I really do... But enough is enough! YOU'RE FIRED!"

The President of the SFA hung up her phone with anger. The P45 was going to be shipped to Mito in Cassadaigua to confirm his fate. Immediately afterwards, both the former manager and the President let out tears. This separation between a national team and their manager was ugly, way uglier than what was expected. Both the national team and Mito were left soul searching, ready to find someone to fill the void left behind... While Mito's assistant was in charge for the Hebitaka game, to at the very least end on a high note, the search was on.

[Garbelia]

The Garbelery Football Association today announced the sacking of manager Gero Tisza. The 65-year-old managed the Otters for a year, guiding them into a 6th place finish in a difficult group. However, his team have struggled in the Cup of Harmony, and suffered a crushing shock in the charity Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy. The GFA believe that a new boss is needed to take the team forwards, and are looking for a new manager.

If you wish to apply for the role with a manager from your nation, please telegram Garbelia, with tactical and IC information.