Cup of Harmony 79: Everything Thread

[Jeruselem]

Princess Katherine (Kate) and Jeruselem manager Pekora Dancer (Peko) having a chat

Peko: Well, it looks like we're off again
Kate: Well this one should a little easier
Peko: But there's little room for error this time
Kate: At least it's short and doesn't waste as much of your time
Peko: Yes that is right I guess
Kate: Hopefully we come home with the cup

Peko: I wouldn't be that optimistic
Kate: Say, people have been digging your past just becuase they are asshats.
Peko: I suppose I'm a target for those who don't like me.
Kate: Well I'm used to it. I've been a target for most of my life.
Peko: But you get legal protection because you're a Princess.
Kate: I guess I have that

Peko: I hope they don't find videos of the drunken stuff we did when we were younger
Kate: Oh that, some of it was pretty full on.
Peko: Especially the lesbian stuff ...
Kate: I'm completely uninhibited when I'm drunk
Peko: I know that
Kate: Most of our children are unplanned anyway

Peko: Which is why I don't do many interviews with other channels
Kate: Yeah they ask you about your private life and nothing about the actual football
Peko: Unmarried single women don't get much respect
Kate: Well you'll have quiet time overseas at the Cup of Harmony as the local dickface press can't harass you too much
Peko: I'm sure they'll just make up more BS about me while I'm away
Kate: Bring the cup home and they'll shut up

Peko: Not sure that's going to happen
Kate: Or at least make the finals, preferable the quarters
Peko: I'm looking the opposition and it's looking difficult
Kate: I'm sure we've played at least half those teams before, if not most of them
Peko: Well if you know what to expect it's better than ... knowing nothing about your opponent
Kate: Hopefully we are in the female friendly Cassadaigua

Peko: Oh yes, one of the girl power teams
Kate: We're kinda one of those teams ... sorta
Peko: I checked our history, we've never had an all female world cup team
Kate: We used to have an all male team actually
Peko: So what changed that?
Kate: My family changed all that.

Peko: No you run the country ...
Kate: We did kinda sleep our away to that ...
Peko: As I recall from my history lessons, Queen Katherine Dallas ... and you're a Katherine.
Kate: I'm just the King's cousin, for now.
Peko: Eh
Kate: You should get a DNA test for Dallas DNA.

Peko: Hey, they've done the draw.
Kate: Yeah? So where we headed?
Peko: Cassadaigua ... so friendly female territory
Kate: Who's in there?
Peko: God, how many groups do they need. Nevermind ... Group I. San Ortelio, Netop and Xanneria .. and us.
Kate: We've played Netop and Xanneria. But not San Ortelio.

Peko: We're not the highest seed, that's Xanneria.
Kate: Meh, doesn't matter.
Peko: I guess I better start organising stuff again
Kate: Don't worry, Cassadaigua are our friends.
Peko: I assume that crazy Akai is coming along
Kate: Yeah, I'm not going anywhere with young kids.

[Chartistan]

Mercedini. Tequilo. The Gothanita Isles. If there was anything this Chartistan team were going to face in Northwest Kalactin, it was nothing short of a challenge. The Chartistanis had just come off of a bad, but surprise filled Cup of Harmony, and now the team has been refreshed. Time to introduce the next generation of Chartistani football...

---

THE TEAM
A parody of The Hills by The Weeknd

[Angel Alistar Alejandro]
My man's on the road with more to know
He says go and meet me and take it slow
I am just here trying to make the show
Cause I know my team doesn't want a no-show
I can't find my way over to Gold Coast
Guess I'll stay here and pop a good toast
With Los Pitxileros getting so close
I try to hide it but the team knows
I try to hide it when it's half past nine
The only time I'll try to hide my side
I'll only do it for the long game not the fame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame, yeah
I try to hide it when it's half past nine
The only time when it's time to ride
I'll only do it for the long game not the fame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame, yeah

[Florence "I Love My Country" George]
I'll let you all know what I'm here for
Chartistan's my country, going on tour
Just ended up here for the big show
My shirt on my body, it's number four
Barbeque in Billboard's not the greatest
Grabbing whiskey's not the best and latest
I just want to play on for my home team
My country's calling me, get onto the scene
I try to hide it when it's half past nine
The only time I'll try to hide my side
I'll only do it for the long game not the fame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame, yeah
I try to hide it when it's half past nine
The only time when it's time to ride
I'll only do it for the long game not the fame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame, yeah

[Plasticium Amphibia]
The team's old eyes, the team's old eyes
They are here to judge, they are here to judge
Hiding lies, hiding lies
Only you'll survive, only you...

[Angel Alistar Alejandro, Florence "I Love My Country" George, both]
I try to hide it when it's half past nine
The only time I'll try to hide my side
I'll only do it for the long game not the fame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame, yeah
I try to hide it when it's half past nine
The only time when it's time to ride
I'll only do it for the long game not the fame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame
And I'll mess up, I'll be a shame, yeah

[Tigger Splinter]
Go and find a home
Come on and with me, go and find a home
Stay with me, me, me
Stay with me, me, me
Go and find a home
Come on and with me, go and find a home

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

Well then...here we are in Northwest Kalactin for TJUN-ia's 4th participation in the Cup of Harmony, a competition that is less appetising the better TJUN-ia play in WCQ. The way we went out was both remarkable and heartbreaking, losing 6-5 in TJUN-ia City to fall 8-8 on the away goals rule. I know you may feel that we don't need more football, more heartbreak, at this time but the FA-TJUN-ia and David Seems would argue the point. Whether you like or not, the Cup of Harmony is a great way of increasing our standing in the WCC without being blown out by the big boys in the World Cup Finals. And besides, with the team we have and our position as a Pot 1 team, we could actually end up going deep into the competition. We play an increasing difficulty schedule, so we play the weakest team on paper first and the strongest last, but who are the 3 teams who have joined us in Group C?

Sylestone (72)
Let's begin with who we must face last at that is The Sentients of Sylestone, ranked 72nd the WCC (compared to our 43rd). The nickname "Sentients" is quite accurate for this team as they are famously made up of sentient objects - a Brick Wall in goal, a Sofa in defence, a Mixer as a striker, you get the idea. Finishing 4th in a group containing both Ko-oren and IAQ, Sylestone and the Toilet ordained as its Manager are the masters of a strong defensive unit that will certainly be difficult to break down. Of course, we want t beat the team closest to us - but don't be surprised if they give us a good fight on MD3.

Yuezhou (Yue Zhou) (94)
The team in the middle, both in rank and in schedule, is the 94th-ranked Dragons of Yue Zhou. Wait, I thought they were the Red Dragons? Well, political change in the United Republics has seen the nation put on a new face to world: their flag has changes from mainly red and yellow to blue and yellow with the team's nickname dropping the "red" to reflect this change. The now open Yuezhou finished 5th in a stacked group with Starblaydia, Omerica and the Equestrian States with a defensive mindset that, while not as committed as Sylestone, is certainly felt on the field of play. This midpoint game may be a true indicator as to where both teams will end up come the end of the tournament, so expect this matchup to be a tight one indeed.

Pluvia and the Saxean Isles (150)
Last but not least, we have the team we must play first - the Magpies of Pluvia and the Saxean Isles, ranked a lowly 150th in the WCC. A small state in the AO, Pluvia finished 7th in their WCQ group with only 4 wins and 4 draws to their name. A team that uses a similar tactics book to ourselves, this may appear as an easy win at first glance. But Lucian Hammerschmidt's side know what game we play, as we do for them - so this game will certainly be an interesting one to open our 4th CoH campaign...

---

SCHEDULE (Group D)
MD1: vs Pluvia and the Saxean Isles (150)
MD2: vs Yuezhou (Yue Zhou) (94)
MD3: vs Sylestone (72)

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

BACK TO THE CUP OF HARMONY

By Taylor Larson,

We knew that we would be going back to the Cup of Harmony, and recently we found out some more information about the specifics. Our games will be played in Northwest Kalactin, a nation that has been around in sports for a little while now but has only recently begun to host different events. This will be the first time, unless I am mistaken, where we will be playing in a competition hosted by this nation who has a nicely colored flag. Perhaps that will get us some brownie points from the locals. We are in Group B, which seems to be a manageable group, given that the two top teams make it. Mavinet, a former Baptism of Fire champion, is the main threat to us, but both Sharktail and Garbelia seem like countries that we should handle.

No one wanted to be here, but I think there is a realization that we were in the Group of Death in qualifiers, and ended up losing out on the playoff due to losing a tiebreaker. In the end, it was not a poor campaign, and you are seeing a lot of mixed emotions throughout the Empire about it. Some are outraged and want Michael Starre gone, but most are accepting of our fate. Newmanistan, now ranked #22, is the fourth best nation in the competition, behind Eura, Mriin, and Recuecn. That right there is some pretty impressive company when you think about it, and there are other strong nations ranked a bit below us. This makes the expectations for the tournament, at minimum, to be a quarterfinal appearance, but we will hope for a semifinal. If we do that, then we will have at least played to our rank, which is about all you can ask for. While we are here, though, let’s take a shot at winning the whole thing. If we did, it would be our fourth Cup of Harmony title.

That’s about it for now. We’ll try to get regular, and more in-depth coverage of the Cup of Harmony (as opposed to this blurb) out to you as the games go by.

[Krytenia]

In his private office at the Cy'Un's Emberton headquarters, Rami Niblick scowled. It was bad enough that the national team's incompetence meant he'd be missing out on the World Cup again - though taking a trip to Cassadaigua was preferable to Taeshan, he would admit - but the paper had insisted he did the mentoring thing again. True, the last time they'd tried it was over a century ago, and as the only one in the office with what his doctor had annoyingly called "Jaffacake Syndrome"*, he could forgive the current management for not remembering that. If they had, they might not have bothered, considering his "protégé" spent seven months not listening to a damn word he said, chasing cheap stories even dear Jeremy wouldn't touch with a fifty-foot pole, and eventually ending up with his corpse walled into a building in downtown Cathair.

Rami supposed it was unlikely this new bloke would be worse. The knock on the door told him he was about to find out.

"Come in," said a resigned Rami. In walked a young man, probably not that long out of university. His expression suggested that he both respected and feared Rami; the venerable journalist decided that was something he could quite happily live with. He was already sure this was not going to be a repeat of the Joe Ojosangel debacle. Rami gestured at the young man to take a seat; he did so, somewhat nervously.

"Good afternoon, Mr Niblick, sir. I've been assigned to shadow you during the Cup of Harmony; the management think it will help my development learning from the best journalist in the company. It's an honour to be in your presence."
Rami sighed heavily and rubbed his temples. "OK, first things first, kindly remove your head from my arse. I'm just a guy who can write, you're a guy who can write, you don't have to brown-nose me. If I wanted that, I'd be down in the copy room. Secondly...I don't play well with others. I'm snarky, irritable, and downright nasty when I have to be. You're going to need a titanium spine if you're going to survive a month in a foreign country with me. You get me?"
The young man audibly swallowed. "I'm gonna have to, aren't I?"
Rami chuckled. "Ah, gritted teeth resignation. We'll make a journalist of you yet. What's your name, son?"
"Simon. Simon Kentley."
"OK then Simon, here's the rules of the game." Rami's face turned serious. "What I say goes. You listen, you learn. You can ask questions, but don't question my methods. With one exception."
"What's that?"
"In the words of a colleague of mine, 'you don't have to listen to your leader when he's being a daft c$&t.'"** Simon chuckled, and Rami cracked a smile. "Oh, and get used to the sense of humour. I have no off switch."
"Duly noted, boss." Simon smirked. "By the way, nice labia."


OOC NOTES:
*Jaffacake Syndrome is how CCI (Convenient Character Immortality) is known in Krytenia. Unsurprisingly, this pisses off Rami no end. More information here, and full credit to Audio for the idea.
**With thanks to Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Ep8, which I totally cribbed this quote from. IC, I'm attributing this to Rubio, considering who he works for.

[Mavinet]

Phan Vinh Hiển criticized for refusing to shake up national team’s roster ahead of Cup of Harmony
by Võ Thành Trung, Associate Editor

After missing out on the World Cup in Taeshan and Ethane, Mavinet once again accepted an invite to participate in the 79th Cup of Harmony. This time, the Water Buffaloes enter the tournament with high hopes, and no one would hope higher than the caretaker Phan Vinh Hiển, who will be leading the national team on a temporary basis after Mr. Nguyễn Minh Quân stepped down as the head coach. The assistant-turned-head coach will aim to secure his position as permanent with a good run in the Cup of Harmony. However, before the tournament even start, Vinh Hiển has to overcome the first challenge of the position: Picking the players who will travel with to Cassadaigua and Northwest Kalactin.

In previous years, the Cup of Harmony’s roster usually doesn’t stray too far from the World Cup qualifiers’ list. Former head coach Minh Quân tended not to change many between the two tournaments, especially after a solid display in the 86th World Cup’s qualifiers which saw Mavinet finished 3rd in a tough group. This year is different. Although finishing 4th in the qualifying group is not a terrible result, the performance of the players leading up to the final matchday had been disappointing. Minh Quân stepped down earlier than expected was a sign that significant changes were expected for the national team, and Vinh Hiển is the person who is expected to make those changes. Unfortunately, it seems that those expectations have not fully been met.

In the latest roster officially announced by the MFA, we can see new names, young names, and potential names, but is it enough to satisfy fans and experts who have called for mass changes to the roster? Apparently not. Pundits and fan communities have voiced their displeasure at the lack of changes in the roster. Vinh Hiển only named 3 new players to the roster: Phạm Nhật Quang, Trần Quang Đăng and Nguyễn Hoàng Bách. Adding in the new players already introduced to the team by his predecessor, the national team still have seen only 6 new faces this cycle. Furthermore, Vinh Hiển’s replacements are made at the expense of secondary players in the previous roster, which will probably make little impact on the starting selections he will present in the Cup of Harmony.

Although it’s true that a few more changes should have been made, especially with regular players who have not performed well during the World Cup qualifiers, Vinh Hiển’s decision to not shake up the roster too much is understandable. It’s a tough position for Vinh Hiển to be in at the moment: He needs to deliver results in the upcoming tournament to have any chance to secure a permanent position, but he is also expected to vastly reshape an aging and declining national team. It is a dangerous gamble to drop the veterans in the national team in favor of more energetic yet untested young faces. The selections he made for the replacements are in no way mediocre: Phạm Nhật Quang and Trần Quang Anh are young defenders who have made an impact in their respective clubs, while Nguyễn Hoàng Bách has the potential to be a world-class player if used and developed properly. The previous roster already presented Mai Trung Hải, a wildcard that can single-handedly make a difference on a good day; and Hồ Vũ Thanh Hoàng continues to be creative and explosive on the right wing. More young players are present in the roster, which is a good sign. But the main problem remains: Mavinet are still relying on a group of veterans that have started to stall in their ability to adapt and improve. It will take bravery for Vinh Hiển to decide to drop some of the regular names in the starting 11 in favor of the new elements, and whether or not he can clear that hurdle will decide if he will remain at the helm of the national team after the Cup of Harmony.

MD1’s lineup against Sharktail:
Manh Cuong (GK) / Phuoc Long (LB), Quang Dang (CB), Van Thao (CB), Nhat Quang (RB) / The Hien (DM), Hoai Linh (CM), Trung Hai (AM) / Tien Linh (LW), Thanh Hoang (RW) / Thanh Hai (ST).

[Hebitaka]

Hebitaka in Group L

The Cup of Harmony's 79th edition in set to go. There have been 64 teams drawn for this tournament. The tournament will follow a similar structure to the final tournament of the world cup, except for the fact that there will be 64 teams divided to 16 groups instead of 32 teams divided to 8 and a round of 32 will be played as well before the Round of sixteen and the other playoffs. Well that's way too different structure than World cup. Sorry, it's a different structure than the World Cup as discussed above. And out of these 64 teams, Hebitaka got a chance to play in this tournament. Hebitaka, currently ranked 139 after the World Cup Qualifiers, thanks to their 5 victories. After the draw, the team has been placed in group L playing it's games at Cassadaigua. There are three other teams in this group all better than the falcons. Let's discuss on them shall we.

Omerica

The best team of the group according to the World rankings, the 41st placed Omericans will play the Hebitaki team in the first game. Hebitaka has no experience against the Omerican team. These two have never went off against each other in any of the national team tournaments. The only thing known about them is from the analytics by the other games and tournaments. The team finished second in the group 12, with 41 points, winning 12, drawing 5 and losing just 1. The team got selected in the playoff round, but lost to Poafmersia at a aggregate score of 4-2. gonna be a hard one for the Falcons. The star player of this team is 30 year old striker Jean-François Fernand.

Saint-Domingue

A team placed 112th in the World is going to be the second opponent of Hebitakis. The team got a great performance in the WCQ finishing fourth in group 5 with 30 points. The team won nine games, lost six and drew the other 3 games. Far better performance than the falcons in the World Cup Qualifiers, we are yet to see what this team does against us this Cup of Harmaony. The player to watch out for from this team would be the 27 year old defender Guillaume Boleyn.

Squidroidia

A well known team in the sports world Squidroidia is placed 63 in the World. The Hebitakish team has faced this team in STWC at the Semi finals and has even travelled to Squidroidia for the second IFC. But the teams never got a chance to face off against one another. Well if they did, the falcons might have had the lose end as this team is far better than the falcons. This team ended up 4th in the group stage winning 11 games, drawing one and losing 6 ending with 34 points. The star of Squidroidia is Yoneda Toshikuni, a 28 year old midfeilder playing for the Dhun Lagarr FC.

[Mapletish]

The Sour Kind
"I only know one thing, that is I know nothing"

Commentaries| Timothy Jozua

Cup of Harmony 79 Preview

The Dragons come into the Cup of Harmony 79 for the eighth time in its football history having last qualified for the Cup of Harmony back in the Cup of Harmony 67 edition, almost 13 editions ago. This was something significant for the Dragons as this was also their first World Cup qualifying cycle since the World Cup 81 cycle, almost 6 cycles ago. Against all odds, the young Dragons without any professional players in their squad made their own football worked as they finished 6th in a group of 10 strong teams, taking home a record of 6-5-7, although less impressive than their senior counterparts in their last qualifying cycle but were impressionable on the multiverse stage. The same squad also finished 3rd in the Di Bradini Cup 49, showing off some actionable quality that this group of youngsters possessed. This was also the second best showing for any Maplish representation in the DBC, following a surprise victory back in DBC 43.

Fans might have thought that Floris must have had an uphill task if he had promised to rebuild Maplish football from stretch even if he had a pool of professional players to choose from, let alone having to select players from the National Football Academy to help him on the route to restoring some national pride in the sports teams representing the nation. Floris, though against all odds, made it work in his unique style. He had shown that a coach without professional experience in the sport from his younger days, was capable enough to bring a squad with limited exposure to multiverse football and football on the higher levels, an avenue to shine.

Floris was a tennis player, rather than a football player, and with an interest in art, one would not have even noticed that he had some insight in the sport of football. That, however, did not stop the team from trying to outshine, frustrate and hold their opponents up. The Dragons end up eventually flying up the ranks to 146th. Although it was nothing compared to the 27th ranked Maplish squad way back after the conclusion of World Cup 66, the Dragons would be pleased with just how much they had come so far. The squad was also the only squad in Maplish footballing history to complete the World Cup qualifiers undefeated, racking in 9 wins and a draw in the 10 matchdays qualifiers format. The squad of 64 came the closest to the undefeated record back in 64 with a 14-3-1 record to secure qualification, in what was a schedule that ran along as long as the previous WCQ87 that concluded previously. As the tides change and time flow, the Dragons will have to be very satisfied with an opportunity to challenge heavyweights in the Cup of Harmony this time around.

The Dragons are drawn into Group P of the tournament. With 16 groups, the top 2 nations of each group will advance to the Round of 32, following which the route to the Final begins. The Dragons are drawn together with Busoga Isles, Sargossa and Twicetgria, all nations ranked higher than the Maplish side arriving in Cassadaigua for the Cup of Harmony.

First on the list, we have Busoga Isles, the 78th ranked team from Atlantian Oceania. The Busogans, as they were called by the Banijans finished 5th in the WCQ87 Group 3. The group was won by Cassadaigua, who advanced to the WC 87 proper while also hosting the CoH together with Northwest Kalactin. The Busogans had amassed a 9-3-6 record in the qualifying, rallying 26 goals while conceding 18 through their campaign. They play a seemingly defensive style of football, with a 4-3-3 formation. All eyes will have to be on their skipper, Kamu Jacobs. The 31 year old plays his trade with Anomalies in Chromatika. He is fondly known as the Busogans' best player and is a centre point for attacks. This left winger's direct man to man competition in the Maplish side would be in the form of skipper, Job Bobbie. Although technically, not the best player in the Maplish squad, the King's College captain has a lot on his hand should he want to stop Jacob from getting his way. Expect the Dragons to grind out the match and eventually concede a goal or two to mark an L.

Second on the list, we have Sargossa, fellow Rushmori neighbour. The Corsairs as their nickname suggests vastly underperformed in their quest to qualify for the WC87. They managed an impressive 8-4-6 record in qualifying, rallying a frightening 51 goals whilst conceding 40 to mark the end of their qualifier as they finished 5th in Group 8. Group 8 was eventually won by Audioslavia who marked an almost perfect unbeaten record only to sallow a sole defeat. The 38th ranked Sargossa are led by Brian McAllister from Tikariot together with Assistant head coach Gregory Wallen from Tikariot, who prefer an attractive, fluid and attacking system, with a variation of a 4-3-3 and 4-5-1, depending on the possession of the ball. Blending in hallmarks of a Tikariot system in the Sargossa squad, the Dragons will have to be careful of the centre attacking personnel, Mateo Manzanares who sit in the centre forward position of the system. Expect Fernando Gauvain to match up with the fellow 20 year old, who plays for Dínamo Maturín. Expect the Corsairs to put in a neat amount of goals and engage in physical play against the Dragons to mark another L.

Third on the list, we have Twicetagria, who are ranked 69th. They are a team from Atlantian Oceania, rounding up Group P as a Rushmore vs Atlantian Oceania encounter. The Lieutenants, as their nicknames suggests, finished impressively in third of Group 16 in the WCQ87 with a 10-3-5 record in a stacked group which was ultimately won by Trolleborg who finished ahead of The Holy Empire to qualify for the World Cup directly. The Lieutenants are led by Raiche Ryoviste. They had impressed previously with a Round of 32 appearance in the Cup of Harmony previously. They play a version of the 5-4-1, with a split midfield, which makes it a 5-2-2-1, in a somewhat defensive game play and set up. Similarly to the Dragons, the Lieutenants prefer teamwork on the ball in a version of football called The Hiteback Tiki-taka which when used effectively works when their backline is high up and pressuring the match, or when the opposition's defence is caught off guard. A quick passing, counter attacking towards the goal, as can be simply put. Expect the Dragons to put another L on the calendar as they get overwhelmed by the proficient Twicetagrian side.

Schedule
MD1 - Mapletish v Sargossa (@ Winchester)
MD2 - Busoga Isles v Mapletish (@ Grande Mountain)
MD3 - Mapletish v Twicetagria (@ Victoriaville)

Although seemingly difficult to come out off, expect the Dragons to put finish bottom of the group as they attempt to hold the fort and stringing together effective plays of their own. See you then.

[Recuecn]

"Franky?" Gerauld's voice was groggy. "It's 3 a.m. What's happening?"

"I know you're awake," Franky said. "I know you can't sleep."

Gerauld sighed. "Yeah... but why couldn't we have talked about this during the flight here? Why wait until the middle of the night? It's so late!"

"I've been busy all day, there's a lot going on, if you hadn't noticed. I haven't had time to process it until now."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's the same for me."

"What are we going to do?"

"What do you mean, 'what are we going to do?' We're going to do the same thing we always do, bring our best game, and try our hardest! We're going to win this playoff, make it to the World Cup, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to try and get Coach the world Cup win he's always wanted for his last game with the team. I think he was going to retire soon anyway and he announced it right then to give us the motivation we needed to make it to the World Cup."

"But what if it's not enough? I don't just mean the motivation... like you said, 'bringing our best' is just the same thing we always do! And we've been losing! I'm scared we can't change anything anymore. It's too late."

"It is too late... do you want to talk about this tomorrow?"

"I mean, probably I will again, yeah. But I just needed to get some thoughts off my chest. Thanks for letting me bother you."

"Any time, Franky. You were right, I wasn't asleep."

Franky sighed and was silent for a moment. "It just feels like we've already lost. If we're not going to have Tremblay, what will we have? Even if we win, what comes next without him?" But Gerauld had already hung up.

Franky's prophecy was self-fulfilling. The second leg of the playoff was no better than the first. Franky found the back of the net in the forty-ninth minute, putting Reçueçn ahead 2-1, and meaning that just one more goal for les licornes would send the match to overtime. But within minutes, the attack had fizzled out, the Reçuecians' energy draining. Two more goals for the Wanderers put to bed any questions anyone might have had, and for the first time since returning to international soccer, Reçueçn would not be part of the World Cup.

[Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom]

Pt. 2/Y

---

Off the Rekans went, seemingly without any measure of organization. All wanted firm, solid land to plant their feet on. Bogdan Rawić waited, looking out to the airport in New Lakeland. As he got up, he looked round to see the crowd exiting the plane, a few were from the Rekan team, Ogroven Vanguardi. “Hey,” the one man said to a second “Need help reaching your carry-on?” A third dude chuckled at the question as the second guy got up. The man's name was named Jan, and was taller than a refrigerator. Bogdan has never talked to him, the guy was too quiet. Jan slowly got up, avoiding a meeting of his head with the ceiling. Bogdan looked away stretching to get blood flowing around his body. The team captain was coming from the back of the cabin. “Morning,” he said, Bodgan waved back, letting the fellow walk past, “Morning, Želeti,” Bogdan said as he looked up at the captain. “Yeah, morning,” the veteran player said scratching his arm, he looked at the sleeping lady and walked away with a quick, “See you” and a nod. At that point it seemed like everyone really was gone.

In actuality, two people were left. Bogdan looked over and saw one player sleeping. “Tina?” he said to no response. Rawić gave a tap to her arm, “Tina!” he said loudly. “Huh? Why?” she asked, taking off her fluffy headphones. “We’re leaving.” The girl shrugged. “Oh” was all she said. To Bogdan's keen deductive reasoning skills, the youthful and vibrant Konstantina Popowić was not much of a morning person. “I need coffee…” she said slowly while she got up. Miss Popowić was actually bit shorter than Bogdan, who wasn’t used to that in a team mate, “I think there’s some drinks on the ground.” Bogdan said, “You ever been here?” Bogdan asked as he went for his carry-on bag. “No,” she said, “and I need coffee.” The two almost walked into each other, “This place is skinnier than I was as a kid” Rawić said, “ladies first?” Konstantina shrugged, “you first” She said, Bogdan acquiesced. “Never push too far with a stranger, let them decide,” at least that’s what Bogdan’s mother used to say. Out he walked looking back once to see if the sleepy one was still awake, “worst plane so far,” he said as he looked at a rust spot, trying to make it look like he’d not copped a cheep look at Konstantina. Out of the plane the pair went, a few players were ahead of them.

Once the two were out of the death trap, the little lady walked next to Bogdan. “Shocked they could spot us a tunnel,” Konstantina said, referring to the airtube the pair were exiting through. Out they stepped into the airport, Rawić said “Slick” as he was eyeballing the facility. He then looked over to his side, seeing some players pal around. He felt a tug, “Hey” Konstantina said abruptly, interrupting Rawić's introduction to the airport. “You want to help me look for my stuff?” she asked. “You were staying around to see me, so — might want talk to me when I’m awake.” The girl rubbed her eyes, “it's itchy again.” Bogdan looked around. Over yonder was a baggage carousel. Bogdan’s friend, Miloš Simeoniwić was starring at the precession of suitcases. Bogdan happily put forward a question knowing the answer already, “Finding everything!?” Miloš looked over, spooked at the sound, perhaps more, "This place give me the creeps, man.” he said in a quiet hush, “Don’t get any of these women mad. I think some will fingernail your sack clean off.” “It’s the others you’ll have to worry about.” Bogdan said, rolling his eyes at their past antics. Fortunately, the ones who went out on a camping trip to "acquire" exotic eggs in Sylestone are not here. Nor was the one who’d get arrested for drugs. Miloš looked over to the tired girl. Giving Bogdan a nod, “She's awake” he said.

While the trio waited, the lady standing back a bit. Bogdan saw a pink duffel bag, with what appeared to be a unicorn printed on its side. “Mine” Konstantina said. Bogdan, much closer to the bag, arched for it. “Carry this around all day?” Miloš asked. “Don’t laugh.” she said, her mouth opening before she let out a quiet yawn, “You wish you could put firetrucks on your bag, lil’ boy.” Miloš ducked in close to Rawić again to whisper, “Keep carrying her bag!” Bogdan’s trusted teammate whispered a fourth time, “The locals will love you for it. Think you’re a model gentleman, not like the rest of us outsiders, kaypeeshe?” The little man nodded over to his friend “Yeah, I will. Need to get her coffee too.” Bogdan looked over at his friend “One thing,” he said smugly, “It’s ‘capeesh,’ buddy. Capeesh?” Rawić and Popowić walked away, while Mr. Simeoniwić waited for luggage Bogdan was well aware wouldn’t arrive. Bogdan and a few pals from the National Team reserves had sent it to the home of ex-teammates Miloš knew from the old country. “Coffee...” the young lady mumbled, “Uh, there’s a place over here," Bogdan said raspily. The skinny armed boy was really lugging the term "lug" into luggage, "I'm not coffee guy, but it looks alright.” The shop was tucked away across the side of the airport, looking like something you’d see in one of those oversized supermarkets. Hopefully the product was above that grade. “I’m guessing decaffeinated isn’t your favorite.” Bogdan said, stirring up a smile on the girl, unless her sense of smell was more powerful than hearing. “Coffee” she said, like a zombie.

A the counter the girl ordered some blend Bogdan had never heard of, who knew you could even put that many technical terms into a drink. She also spoke an order for him, again, full of what a teenage Bogdan would have labeled, “coffee words.” There was also something about cake. Once everything was situated the girl put their cups in her hands. “We can sit,” Bogdan said, pointing to a table and a wooden bench, “The Association picked our flight in for price, not timeliness.” “Nice.” The young lady said, smelling her cup. Down the two sat, the girl quickly drinking up hers. “I got you a cappuccino, it’s okay… and I have this. This is a macchiato.” She spoke tired, but with some brightness. “You speak any Italian?” she inquired, “No" Rawić said after having just used the word "capeesh" minutes ago. "I just the national languages, counting english too.” Konstantina took a bite of food and handed the rest to Bogdan. The cake has a marbled appearance, and was full of air.[*] Rawić took bite, and has a smirk. “Long face?” the young girl asked, before Bogdan could answer, his breakfast partner asked another, “You been here before?” Bogdan shook his head, “You’re a queen around here apparently.” Konstantina shrugged “Apparently is right, I’m just glad at least one of the guys I’m riding with is peaceful.”

The two sat, time wasn’t going by fast, but the morning was not a drag. Konstantina played with her hair, she must’ve slept a bit funny in the airline chair, or maybe a bit of her didn’t realize they were no long fifteen thousand feet in the sky. “So, how’s it been in Baker Park?” Bogdan asked, hoping to open the two up. “Oh it’s great,” she said, sounding a bit lively, “I actually like the place. There’s sunlight! The girls are pros too.” The young man took a sip. “Women are plenty athletic, you know?” Konstantina asked, looked quickly at the staff member on hand. Cearly Konstantina was more awake now. “Anyhow, you like Savojarna yourself?” she asked him, “or are you getting homesick?” the little Rawić shrugged, “I mean, playing for Capital meant a lot to me. But I’m getting used to the small changes everywhere in my new place. As long as I can bring some money back home, I’ll be happy.” Konstantina took a final bite of the cake slice, “I’d like to do that that someday. I read online you were going to start a foundation? Something to help out the villages.” Bodgan nodded, “Oh yeah, eventually. Uh, a friend from my village is now a history professor now. She’s also been investing money since married into a rich family.” Konstantina let out an “ooooo” as the superstar striker continued, “We’re only in the planning stages for now. If we can get past that, the ‘ooo’ing will really begin.”

Bogdan checked his phone, a text message from Miloš. “Oh my!” he said, looking at a clock “We got to go, Konstantina. time flew” Bogdan said. Bogdan said suddenly, taking her bag, “Oh please, I’m Tina. Hey! you’re not actually gonna carry that thing around, are you?” Bogdan shrugged his shoulders, “I did it already.” She also got up, taking the lead on their trip. He got another text, agin from Miloš, “YOu seen my stuff?! Buddy??!”

---

[*]Cake... mmmmmmmmm:

[San Ortelio]

Calm and controlled, Vito Del Tonto blows little circles of smoke into the clear evening sky of Catrallo. Whilst the on-screen part of television might be glitter, glamour and showgirls with feathers up their behind, this place is what will stay with him when he’s sitting in an old folk’s home. Three blind walls and an overflowing thrash can which serves as the ashtray for the whole production studio. Over time, the most avid and bored smokers made a point of carving their name in the bricks as well, giving the place at the same time a welcoming face and the resemblance of an open-air prison cell. Slowly, Vito’s eyes roll over the tags, mouthing the many with whom he has worked over the years. A soft click of the only door leaning into the space opening.

“Mister Del Tonto?”

A small second of ignoring.

“Mister De-“
“What?”

Del Tonto has no inner intention to bark to the production assistant, apart from maintaining his façade as the grumpy, elderly statesman of the network. It’s not that hard, after all.

“The producer would like to start in a minute.”
“He’ll wait,” Del Tonto replies before turning his back and lighting another cigarette. Slowly, he count the seconds before the assistant gives up and returns to the studio, quite probably to complain about his diva behavior. Thirty-eight. Patient type, he could last her for a few years. A few more puffs. The doctor says it will kill home, but his raspy voice is one of the trademarks with which Vito earns his notoriety in this business, so… After a minute of three, Vito quenches his smoke on the name of a less admired colleague before strolling back.

“Let’s get started, ready in five?” he remarks casually to Evita, his producer, before walking towards the door of the actual studio. He knows she won’t have enough time to film his entrance in full. She knows he will be a pain in the ass to reshoot the scene. And he knows she knows he knows this is just to put a little extra nerves into the candidates, making it clear that this will not be a walk in the park. It’s all a great show and not just when the cameras roll – even if it drives Evita raving mad.

“Take three,” she sighs a minute or four later as Vito wanders into the studio, waving to the people who sit in a U-shape around him. The camera up high now has that nice aerial shot of his arrival, surrounded by a hundred nervous, anxious even, faces while his voice boasts over the intro music.

“Benvenuti and welcome to another episode of Il Primo tra Cento, the Sunday evening quiz of TeleUno! Last week we saw how Gianni was the best amongst our hundred candidates – he awed us with his knowledge of Rushmori birds and nearly went home with over three million lira but failed to recognize the octarine-tongued petrel from Graintfjall. Will we see a winner who takes home a big bag of lira tonight? Let’s find out!”

A repetition of the intro music as Vito seats himself in what can only be described as a throne amongst the audience. He looks around, slowly but surely. Many people believe that he does that only for the theatrical effect, but it offers him a first chance to scan the audience for interesting characters, people with a ‘television face’. He’s rarely off target.

“Your knowledge of birds will not help you here – as we will play with one hundred sports fan tonight! Different questions but the same principle. Question by question, we will try to eliminate the field to have one person remaining… With each question, we add one million lire, split by the amount of remaining contestants, to the virtual bank account. If you remain as the last man or woman standing… You will take this final amount home! Even more, you might spice your wallet even more if you can answer the ‘Double or Nothing’ question… But to get that opportunity, you must eliminate all your ninety-nine opponents and show that you are truly… Il Primo tra Cento!

Applause from slightly moist hands erupts around him, which he quickly silences with a short hand gesture.

“And as our Spada have just been eliminated from the Cup of Harmony, all questions will be related to the ongoing World Cup campaign, the debut of San Ortelio on the international scene!”

Far more fluent than one would expect from a man with a retreating hairline and a full, pepper-and salt going into white, beard, Vito rises and skips to the steps on his left. The contestants are lined up in four rows in this half-round set, giving the whole the atmosphere of an ancient amphitheater. With this exception that the lions aren’t in the ring, but seated next to one another in the stands. One of them looks agonizingly nervous. There is sweat under his armpits, the two top buttons of his shirt are opened and Vito believes that he saw an eye twitch. The perfect opening target.

“Tell me, young man, what is your name?”
“Vittorio, ehm, Vittorio Lelli,” the other one stutters.
“In the microphone, please, Vittorio,” Vito replies while flashing his dentist-approved smile, “and you are a major sports fan?”
“Vittorio Lelli,” the poor lad repeats before realizing the question, “oh, ehm, yes.”
“In that case, our opening question will be no problem for you! The World Cup of Football has been around for ages already, with various sides triumphing. But which number does the current, ongoing edition carry? Evita! The clock!”

Whilst the spectators at home see a countdown from seven seconds, the participants are left with only a disturbingly annoying sound effect which is solely intended to drive them crazy whilst bowing over their monitor to inspect the four options.

---< A – 79                >------< C - 1093              >---
---< B – 88                >------< D – 87                >---

“Three… Two… One… Fingers off the buttons! Tell me Vittorio, what was your reply?”
“Ehm… Well… I think I want to… It is the Cup of Harmony 79?”
“So you answered ‘A’, Vittorio?” Vito asks, slightly annoyed that he’s not getting the comedic value hoped for, “that would mean that this has been already a great eliminator! Only seven participants guessed for ‘A’ so… Are you a genius, Vittorio? Or are you the weakest link?”
“Well… I think…”
“That wasn’t a question,” Vito flusters under the sound of the result tune.

In the studio, the spotlight over eleven chairs go red at the loudest note of the obnoxious tune.

“And it’s the latter! That means that we must leave behind Vittorio, but we can play forth with eighty-nine contestants!”

Swiftly, he crosses the set and leans over a chair where a young woman sits notably relaxed, compared to the wrecks around her. The production assistant always instructs in his ear to pick out the female participants early on ‘as they’re fewer’. It is true, quizzing often does not seem to be their point of interest. No surprise to Vito who in a private circle compares games like this with ‘unzipping in a filled bar and slapping your member on the table to measure if its taller than most’. And besides, experience tells him that those who do partake usually last long enough to zoom into in the latter stages of the quiz. Yet, this one intrigues him over her calm outwardness.

“So, Erica,” Vito spies on the little bracelet all competitors receive – of course Vittorio had lost his already, “you’ve easily navigated the first question. How many more do you think you can last?”
“That depends on how many questions are asked,” she replies with a smile so humble that only after a few seconds, Vito realizes the underlying confidence.
“You’re a major football fan?” Vito asks.
“I follow it, yes.”
“So you have seen most of the qualifiers, maybe even all of them?”
“I was in the stadium for most home games and then the other ones on television, yes.”

Erica says it without any hint of arrogance, just a calm statement of the truth.

“In that case, the next question will be easy to navigate as well. The question goes at follows – against which team did San Ortelio draw both legs of the qualifiers? Evita! The clock!”

---< A – Mercedini         >------< C – Juvencus          >---
---< B – Taeshan           >------< D – Treekidistan      >---

There’s a cheeriness in the way he utters the last few words. He knows how much Evita despises the catchphrase, but it has grown up and beyond here. When someone needs to know the time on set, they recite the line and on the company New Year’s drink, even the network manager referenced to it. We can say that now is the time to next step in this synergy. Or as we say, now is, Evita! The Time! It was inexplicably cringe, but still Vito had grinned all the way home.

“Guide us to your answer, Erica.”
“It’s Juvencus. We always draw Juvencus.”
“So it’s not… Treekidistan? Four people of our panel believed it was th-“
“No, it’s Juvencus,” she cuts him short.

Vito looked annoyed for a split second before realizing that the cameras were rolling – he really hadn’t gotten lucky with his picks so far. They could do retakes, they did every one and a while, but the tension worked best if they kept the show going so he snapped back to being a professional.

“Well, that’s a very confident answer from Erica… Let’s see if it is also correct… Yes, it is!”

Nine more red lights got added. Vito loved how, by the final rounds, the whole set got a peculiar hue which highlighted the tension of the few remaining. In the bottom of the screen, a little counter shot up to 23736 lira. In the opening rounds, this played only a minor role – the big cash was to be earned further on in the race, so Vito ignored it for now and walked on to a next contestant. Third time was the charm indeed, as the man immediately got a perfect answer on the question…

“So Roberto, welcome to the show. Do you know the members of the national team?”
“Well yes, but not in person, of course. But I knew Fabrizio Confalonieri quite well.”
“Aha…” Vito nodded, knowing that this guy only needed a little push into the direction of a good story.
“He grew up in my neighborhood and we, yeah, you know how little punks are.”
“Little hellraisers together, bit of mischief here and there?”
“Mischief,” Roberto laughs, happy that he can tell this anecdote to someone else rather than his wife who has to live through it e-ve-ry Virtus Redoccio game, “that’s maybe a big word. One time, when we were thirteen or something like that, we snagged a stack of… ehm… how do you say this, lewd magazines with Jeruselemite models and then distributed them around the whole block. Including the priest! Many complained about Fab and me, but we’ve never heard whether father Giuseppe was happy with his copy!”

On the signal of the production assistant, there was a coordinated and well-timed laughter from the crowd.

“Haha, marvellous story,” Vito grinned, using the exact right timbre for his remark, “let’s hope you are as close with the other members of the squad for the next question. Renato De Tano selected twenty-three players for the Cup of Harmony. But only one of them has, with the tournament coming to an end, played not a single minute for the national side. Be aware, this includes the friendlies at the start of the campaign! Which of these four has not a single cap yet for the Swordfishes? Evita! The clock!”

---< A – Alberto Sgarbi    >------< C – Domenico Cappa    >---
---< B – Pasquale Pino     >------< D – Denis Spaviero    >---

The muffled sounds and late clicks on the buttons indicated that this question would separate some wheat from the chaff – two of them even missed the timings for an answer and were eliminated at once.

“For the reply, we have the man himself…”

The black screen at the head of the half round arena suddenly came to live. It showed the face of a man, but the strong light behind him disallowed you to recognize him. Only slowly, the light moved to his side, uncovering the appearance of…

“Pasquale Pino! Indeed the veteran third goalkeeper has not yet made a minute with the team. Only fifty-two of our contestants knew that, cutting loose quite a few who guessed on Sgarbi or Spaviero. And to ask our next question, here is the man himself!”

Pasquale Pino walked into the studio, waving to the people who applauded his arrival – this time spontaneously. Tall, with a scruffy beard and beady eyes, Pino had grown into a fan favorite across clubs for his honest analysis and his capacity to crack a joke in the often otherwise standardized post-game interviews.

“Pasquale! How wonderful to welcome you here… How are you?”
“Usually you should say ‘a little jetlagged’ after a marvelous trip to a final tournament but as some map geek in the FA discovered that Cassadaigua is just within reach in Rushmore, the answer is – ‘still aching from the bus trip’.”

The tightness of the FA was a common trope and immediately got him a few laughs.

“I can imagine, going to such a final tournament, especially as it was the largest one ever organized… It must make some nerves.” Vito asked.
“Of course… I remember us sitting in the dressing room ahead of the opener,” Pino replied, spontaneous enough not to give the impression that this was all scripted, “It was a madhouse, the blood rushes through your veins.”
“For everyone?” Vito enquired.
“Yes… Well, no, actually,” Pino answered. He’ll make a really good pundit one day, Vito realized, “Minutes before facing the Princesses, everyone tried to keep it together. People were fidgeting, putting their boots on and off, going to the bathroom three times in a row. And then…”

He paused, shortly. A bloody good pundit.

“Well, I can say it after the facts,” Pasquale Pino continued, “Suddenly Romeo Gozzi rises and asks, ’if I just scribble my phone number in the inside of my shirt and then swap it with Aaliyah Dallas, you think she would give it to Akai Hanto?’.”

Another pause for the gasps and grins.

“It was completely bonkers of course, we were all with our head on our tactical duties and Gozzi just thinks about picking up a girl. So we all start laughing and he goes on like ‘I’ve seen this crazy show on the internet here and it’s really f’ed up and intriguing at the same time’. And the more he explains, the more we laugh, of course. He starts about naked shows, which sounds like a bizarre gimmick and we’re just rolling over the floor whilst he keeps a straight face… The tension was gone.”
“Brilliant story,” Vito grins, just in a slightly different, more genuine tone than last time. “However, I must add… It did not do the team well in the opening minutes?”
“Yes and no… We started good, a shot on goal from Carmine early on but then…”
“The penalty… And that leads us to our next question. Pasquale?”

The goalkeeper obliges at once. A really, really good pundit.

“In the seventh minute of the opening duel of the Cup of Harmony, a penalty was caused for Jeruselem. Orlando Castorani slides at the edge of the box and just inside, coming a split second too late. But which opposing player did he send down?” And encouraged by a small nod from Vito, Pasquale continues, “Evita! The clock!”

---< A – Kate Dallas       >------< C – Stan Epstein      >---
---< B – Rishie Smuggs     >------< D – Melania Zanic     >---

“And it’s a difficult question, Pasquale, maybe also for you at home… What is the correct answer? We will see it… After the commercials!”

[Electrum]

The Turnip: Electrum Football Team Invited To Perform At Artistic Exhibition
by Billiam Maskey, chief-editor-in-chief

It's time for Electrumite football fans to rejoice once again! After the Electrumite national football team crashed out of World Cup Qualifying for the umpteenth time, they have now been invited to exhibit their performance at the 79th edition of the Cup of Harmony. The Cup of Harmony is a satirical artistic exhibition which showcases some of the best talent in the multiverse. Performers will dive, bicycle kick and do stunning actions with a ball to earn points over their opponents. Teams that give the most sarcastic performance will be invited to enter the next stage of the competition.

The Cup of Harmony is hosted by two nations, Cassadaigua and Northwest Kalactin. The two were chosen to host the world's most sarcastic dance tournament after winning the So You Think You Can Belly Dance competition which decided who would host this clearly prestigious tournament. Obviously, this is the tournament that most people love to be at, even though there's that other one down the road in Ethane and that other place.

As part of this competition, Electrum was one of the four teams to be drawn into the creatively named Group O. The group is named after Okay Simpson, a famous Cassadagan activist who has managed to somehow dodge several murder convictions and is now a celebrated figure in Cassadagan society for precisely those reasons.

But who else has had the fortunate honour of being drawn into the same group as Electrum? Find out below as we thoughtlessly sum up our thoughts on the other teams of Group Okay Simpson.

Balqia
Ah yes, verily, this peculiar little nation has hidden under the radar. A phrase, by the way, we do not get because how does one go under a radar? A radar is a representation of a 3D area over a 2D grid. You can't go under a 3D area because it would be enclosed within that 3D area. Does that make sense? That is to say we know very little about them other than the fact that we are going to face them. The Balqese are presenting an urban contemporary art piece in this edition's Cup of Harmony.

The captainless team has several marquee players, including pugilist goalkeeper Andrev Zanos, who expresses the violent crime rates in the lower socio-economic parts of Balqia by performing uppercuts "both during and after matches". Meanwhile, the team also includes veteran defender Lukas Vargas is "accused of several crimes against humanity", drawing the audience's attention to the disturbing lack of action that modern society has had against violent war lords in impoverished areas of the world. This gritty art performance will be a must see to the discerning millennial who wants to broaden their horizons beyond their usual fare of cynical film noirs and Hegellian philosophy.

Gyatso-kai
Gyatso-kai, which is apparently a collection of Avatarian Republics, likes to nickname themselves as the Bisons. Much like self-described nicknames like that weird kid at school calling himself "Blade", this nickname just doesn't work. We suggest that the Gyatso-kawaiians wait for their fans to give them a new nickname like the "Cool Bananas" (a reference to their climate and their sixth favourite fruit) or the "Gyatso-kai National Football Team", a nickname that does exactly what it says on the tin, if the nickname were to be printed on a tin.

The Bisons are going for a more traditional performance that will call back the country's history. As any geography nerd will tell you, the country is indeed split into five nations: Earth, Water, Fire, Mandalorian, as well as Developing. These five nations were all at peace, but that all changed when the Mandalorian Nation attacked. Their art piece will make use of all five nations' history, with their players viciously attacking Electrumites with their bending powers. It will indeed be reminiscent of their war. Seb, the sentient energy ball won't be complaining though. Just like those awesome tungsten pizza feeds it scored in Vdara, it will be looking to feed off the energy of their earth-bending players.

And much like the Electrumites who have emerged from our time warp before we were saved by the five-dimensional being called The Computator, the Gyatso-kawaiians have emerged from a period of international inactivity called "The Silence". We prefer our "Time Warp" because that just sounds cooler and science-fictiony compared to "The Silence" which is scary and doesn't even seem like a plot device to explain away our collective absences from the international canon that is world sports.

Reçueçn

Of course. The Recuecns, the nation that demands special treatment by oddly insisting on us hookering it's c's bottoms. Of course, once the c's bottoms gets too big, the hooking stops working and the hook gets dislodged, as can be seen here: ç. And... great. We've messed up the line spacing of this paragraph to the point where this line, right here, is now spaced completely differently compared to all the other lines in this article. Thanks Recuecn.

Instead of a contemporary Balqese art piece, or a traditional Gyatso-kawaiian performance, the Recuecnians have gone for a rather boring naturalistic and realistic art piece, reminiscent of the Renaissance. You know, it's like those boring art pieces which are just pictures of people, or landscapes, painted exactly as they look. Indeed, Recuecn is literally the most boring nation in the entire multiverse, with them choosing a plain picture of grasslands to introduce their roster. We've written extensively about Recuecn in the past, but let's just say they are not expected to perform well in this highly prestigious art tournament. They just do not have the chops to play football sarcastically like we do. As a result, they are expected to win their match against us because they're not trying hard enough to play sarcastically, which is what they're supposed to do. Try harder next time.

And there you have it, those are our rambling, incoherent thoughts on the teams that we will face. Peace out!

[Mercedini]

79th Cup Of Harmony
A New Start?
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini

Good afternoon everybody and welcome back to Mercedini Sports Daily. In a perfect world, we would be talking to you from Taeshan and Ethane, but Dini fell short in their qualification cycle once again, so they are back at the Cup of Harmony, this time hosted by Cassadaigua and Northwest Kalactin. By now, Mercedini are considered the perennial jesters of the tournament, always present and regularly making it at least past the group stage, but they have only gone all the way once, beating Audioslavia (of all nations) in the final. This time round, a rather chaotic qualification phase has meant that there are more 'World Cup-calibre' teams who have fallen into the NSWC's second-tier tournament. The likes of Eura, Mriin and Rucuecn would likely have little experience in a tournament like this, which benefits Dini and other nations, since they know the trials and tribulations of a tournament like this.

Of course, the aforementioned teams will be the ones to watch throughout all of this, and Dini would do well to carve a path which dodges all of these nations early on, or hope they get knocked out early by someone else. If you cast your mind back to the 72nd edition of this tournament, you will remember that Dini did go through many of the favourites for the tournament on their route to win. Qasden, Kita-Hinode, and finally Audioslavia, who were all World Cup regulars at the time, made way for the Golden Eagles first major title. There is potential for history to repeat itself, although, with this new team, it could be a difficult journey this time around.

Group F
Mercedini (35)
Chartistan (136)
Tequlio (50)
The Gothanita Isles (102)

Over to the group, and it's one that to regularly see at the group stages at these kids of tournament, with a clear favourite, a mid-tier side who could challenge for the top spot if it goes well for them on the night, and one or two lower-tier nations who are fighting for those points to boost their KPB and potentially cause a shock by making it to the knockout rounds. Out of the three names that the Golden Eagles have drawn, there is one that sticks out straight away, while the other two are relative unknowns for the national team.

The friendly rivalry between Mercedini and the Wight-Bonesea-Tequilo acid trip mega-cluster is renewed for another match, with the two teams likely battling it out for the top spot on the final group stage matchday. The top two seeds have met previously in World Cup Qualification, when Tequilo were a new team on the scene, but now they have spread their proverbial wings and have landed in side the Top 50 for this tournament. Being one of the best teams from Pot 2, Dini have been relatively unlucky in terms of the draw. However, it will be a nice climax to the group which could very well be solved come the final matchday.

Looking at the rest of the group, and both of the final two nations are outside the Top 100, but both Chartistan and The Gothanita Isles could be the banana peel which causes Dini and Tequilo to slip up. This would be the first time that Mercedini play either of these sides to our knowledge, however, qualification proved to be quite difficult for the Golden Eagles when it came to playing new nations. San Ortelio proved to be the big surprise of qualification, and they were an unranked team! The Gothanita Isles come first, and then provided they win there, they can wrap up their advancement to the knockout rounds with a win over Chartistan.

Ones To Watch
Group E - Eura (12)
Group J - Mriin (13)
Group O - Rucuecn (17)
Group B - Newmanistan (22)

Group I - San Ortelio (117)
Group H - Juvencus (79)

In tournaments like these, against opposition as varied as this, you cannot take things for granted. Billic's managerial life is likely on the line following the failures of recent qualification cycles. His tendency to field less-than-full-strength sides has meant easy points have gone begging. With three matches between now and the end of the groups, a dropped match or two could spell the end of any team, no matter their size, stature or pedigree. Eyes will be on the other groups to see how the other juggernauts are doing, any early eliminations for the teams from Pots 1 or 2 will spell good news for Dini, providing they can progress themselves. The first match will be Mercedini vs. The Gothanita Isles, we will be giving you all the live coverage plus the post match reaction and all the other results around the grounds for the 79th Cup of Harmony. The road begins here, how quickly will the wheels fall off the wagon?

[Pluvia and the Saxean Isles]

Royal Marienburg University, Marienburg, Pluvia and the Saxean Isles

Prof. Charles Cunningham of the history department at the Royal Marienburg University had just spilled gravy on his jacket. It was about lunchtime, and he'd realized he hadn't eaten anything substantial in more than 24 hours. So he shudder ventured down to the student cafeteria, where the entree was somewhat stringy meat, mashed potatoes with weak gravy, and boiled carrots. He disliked boiled carrots, but forced himself to eat every bite of the meal. He was just glad he had avoided spilling gravy on the diary. That would have been an unpardonable sin. Not that the priest at confession would have felt the same way, but a personally unpardonable sin. Defacing of historical artifacts was sin #1 in Charles Cunningham's book.

The last diary entry saw William II's first meeting with the Magisterium. Like his meeting with the Praesidium, it did not go well. William attempted to discuss religious freedom for Protestants or the possibility of repealing or reducing the Protestant tax, but was stonewalled at every opportunity. The bishops of the realm were not pleased with him and were even angry that he wanted to discuss things of this nature. They preferred for him to stick to the defense of the Catholic faith. The papal nuncio was especially displeased, and the meeting ended early. Not a good sign for getting them on board.

January 23, 1885

I have decided to have individual meetings with each member of the Praesidium. Perhaps, shorn of their allies, they will prove easier to master. The Praesidium is key to my plans. If I can master the Praesidium, then I can have capable, or at the very least, loyal administrators to begin to fix the problems in our realm. If I cannot, they will be a thorn in my side and oppose me at every turn. I still have not found a way to replace them without generating much ill will, but perhaps these meetings will allow me to make it clear what I need from each of them.

My first meeting was with the Lord Treasurer, the Lord Blackburn. I made the determination to begin with him because I believed him to be the easiest convert to my cause. After all, he is a great friend of our family and what I want to do with the public purse is not a drastic expansion. I began by asking him to report on the current state of the public purse; revenues, expenditures, surpluses, deficits, where we spent our money, etc. I learned that most of our money goes to support our standing army, the employment of our constabulary and intelligence-gathering services, the courts, and the expenditures of the royal court. I pressed him on our sources of revenue and discovered that the Protestant tax, the poll or election tax, customs duties (on both imports and exports), and the land tax, from which nobles and the clergy are exempt, are our principal sources of revenue, with the royal household's personal lands providing revenue for myself and my family. I was pleased to learn that we had no great debts owed to major banking houses, but less pleased to hear about the inequities of taxation. I laid out how taxation seemed inequitable, and that with proper reforms, we could both raise more and have a more equitable system. This would provide more revenue for education, for judicial reform, for a system of state support for industry, and other things that could truly modernise our realm. I pressed him on the subject, and all he could say was that tradition and the support of the nobles prevented any kind of income tax or extending the land tax to the nobles.

At this, I lost my temper a bit and plainly told him that I was not satisfied with this. That I would gladly have every noble despise me if it meant they would pay taxes to support the betterment of our realm and our populace. I stopped short of insulting him, thankfully, because at this, a look of grave concern appeared upon his face. He reminded me of the friendship between our families and informed me that he would prepare a report for me on the potential effects of some of the tax changes I wanted to make. I thanked him and told him he should make use of some of the students and professors at the royal university to conduct a scientific review of our expenditures, to see where we might find any money that was not being used properly or an expense that could be eliminated or reduced. I apologized for my behavior and again emphasised to him how important it was to me that I be a ruler who did his best to aid all of his people. After he left, I confess I breathed the largest sigh of relief in my life. That was almost certainly the easiest meeting I would have with a member of the Praesidium, and I lost my temper. I must control myself in the future if I am to get these old windbags on my side. A honeyed tongue will prove more successful than a sharp one.

[South Covello]

Final South Covell Presidential Debate

The final South Covello presidential debate was held last night, between runoff candidates rapper Tru-D and incumbent President Luisa Benitez. Janet Larren served as moderator. What follows are select quotes.

Opening Statements:

Luisa Benitez: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am honored that you chose me to proceed to the runoff. South Covello is at a crossroads. We can choose to continue the progress we have made over the last four years, or we can choose to vote for someone who continually spouts nonsense out of his mouth. I'm not usually this nasty, but Tru-D will -

Tru-D: Will what? Will destory us? I ain't gunda gunda destroy South Covello, I gunda gunda save yinz from the lizard devils!

Janet Larren: Mr. Tru-D, please allow President Benitez to finish.

Luisa Benitez: Anyway, if you re-elect me, I promise you we will continue to make progress, we will implement paid leave and time off for all employees nationwide, we will continue to to what has made us so great for the past four years. But if you elect my opponent, then, well, I'll let him explain what will happen.

Janet Larren: Mr. Tru-D, your turn.

Tru-D: Yo yo ho, yinz, it's me, Tru-D, your favorite dude, Tru-D. If elected, we will ban lizards because they are really people, we will banish dumpsters to the depths of the deep because garbage is really good and shouldn't be bye byed, we will have so much winning it won't be funny, and we will turn every chicken into a canary, stick it in the oven with your baby, and barbecue it at 375 degrees for 20 minutes so you have a delicious dinner. Also there will be taco trucks in every prison, prisons in every school, schools in every prison, and prisons in every prison. Also debates will be mandatory every six seconds because I am Tru-D and this is what I say.

On the military:

Luisa Benitez: I believe in a peaceful foreign policy, friend to all and enemy to none. But if someone dare attack us, we will fight back, swiftly and strongly. Play nice with us, and you get peace and prosperity, but mess with the bull and you get the horns. I hope I never have to declare war during my time as President. But if I do, whoever we are fighting will pay, and pay severely.

Tru-D: Eura's leader smells like beans. Let's have our Air Force spray air freshener on that country so they don't have to smell him. Is Revan Bernat still in power? He has a stupid name and should be turned into tacos and eaten. We will have Revan Bernat taco trucks on every corner, you can order a Revan Bernat taco with Kimchi and marmalade and this government of mine will give all yinz ten Revan Bernat tacos with kimchi and marmalade every day until the supply is exhausted. Also every home must have at least ten tubs of marmalade and sixteen tubs of kimchi at all times or we will bomb yinz house. That is what winz will do if winz is elected President of South Covello.


On the minimum wage:

Tru-D: Minimum wage is how they keep you poor. I would abolish minimum wage and then companies would pay everyone six million liberos and two million tacos an hour. Yinz will be rich, like if yinz won the lottery. It will be so glorious, the age of King - I mean President Tru-D. Also all paychecks must be made out of aluminum foil and jelly beans so the banks don't know how much you make. That would be awesome, wouldn't it? Now have some money!

Tru-D throws not money but some of the solid gold toilet paper from his mansion into the audience. People dodge it but someone gets hit in the head and has to be taken out in an ambulance.

Janet Larren: Please, Mr. Tru-D, we agreed no props during the debate.

Tru-D: No, yinz agreed that. I agreed to nothing except being Tru-D! Now have some marmalade!

Tru-D throws solid gold jars of marmalade in to the audience. Thankfully the audience is ready this time and dodges them, so nobody is injured.

Janet Larren: Please desist, Mr. Tru-D!

Tru-D: No, you desist, you crazy bitch! You're probably a nun too!

Janet Larren: Excuse me?

Tru-D: I insist that you desist!

Janet Larren: Mr. Tru-D, please stop, let's continue this debate.

Tru-D: You know what? Tru-D has had enough of you. Tru-D out!

Tru-D picks up his podium and throws it into the audience, clonking Janet Larren on the head and knocking her unconscious. She is taken away in an ambulance, ending the debate.

Tru-D's Disastrous Performance in Debate Ends in Arrest, Further Polling Plummet

Following a disastrous debate at Riverview Institute of Technology, rapper and Presidential candidate Tru-D was taken away in handcuffs by Riverview police for assaulting moderator Janet Larren with his podium, bringing the debate to an abrupt halt as Larren was taken away in an ambulance. Larren was diagnosed with a concussion and is in stable condition but was hospitalized overnight as a precaution. Meanwhile, Tru-D was charged with assault but the case was suspended until after the election to see if he wins, as there was concern about prosecuting the sitting President should that happen. However, that seems highly unlikely to as Tru-D has plummeted further in the polls following this disastrous and poor performance, now sitting at just 3% to Luisa Benitez's 95% with just 2% undecided. The election is now imminently approaching and is not expected to be close. There is now much debate at media organizations as to whether to call the Presidential election on the basis of exit polls as soon as voting closes, or to wait until at least some results come in to confirm it. Consensus seems to be that they will do the latter, although it could be a very quick night after polls close at 8:00 PM across the nation before we know the winner. Many Legislative Districts also have runoffs, so we will obviously be watching those as well, but the main focus will be on the Presidential election and that will likely be called fast.

[Frestovenia]

Frestovenian team arrived in Northwest Kalactin

Fresto Sports - 10/2/2021

After a long flight, the Frestovenian national team arrived in Northwest Kalactin, one of the host countries of the 79th edition of the Cup of Harmony. Around five this morning, the plane including the Frestovenian delegation landed at the airport. Several camera crews were able to catch a glimpse of the players, but there were no interviews held with the players this morning. The players went straight to their hotel and had no interest in media attention. "If you've had a short night on the plane and had little to no sleep, I can imagine you don't feel like doing interviews," says head coach Alrik Valatanen after his flight. "We were warmly welcomed at the hotel and the players are very happy with their rooms and the training complex can be reached within walking distance, so I am more than happy," says the coach about his first impression in Northwest Kalactin. The next few hours will be intense for the team. Two training sessions are scheduled to take place today in preparation for the opening match against Indusse.

Preparations

Compared to the other participating countries in the tournament, the Frestovenian team is one of the last to arrive in the host nation, because the team has chosen to stay in Frestovenia for a longer period of time before travelling to Northwest Kalactin, this because of a training camp that was held in Frestovenia. After the qualifiers for the World Cup, the players were given a couple of days off to take some time to relax. The main goal of the training camp was to regroup the team in the hope to get the team spirit back fast. "I think we handled it well and made the right decision to plan a training camp in Frestovenia to prepare for the Cup of Harmony," says the coach of the Frestovenians.

Debut

After an excellent performance in the last World Cup qualification campaign, the Frestovenian team was rewarded with an invitation for the Cup of Harmony. The Cup of Harmony serves as a basket for stranded teams that failed to qualify for the World Cup. It will be the first appearance for Frestovenia in a official tournament. Expectations remain low even after the victories over Barunia and Squidroidia in the World Cup qualifiers. The Frestovenians climbed in the KPB rankings from being unranked to the 132nd position. These are all exceptional achievements that were achieved in a short time. The team can now battle it out with the "sub-top" of the world in this tournament that will be held in Cassadaigua and Northwest Kalactin. For the first time, the tournament will feature a total of 64 participating teams. All participating teams were divided into sixteen groups of four with the group winners and runners-up advancing to the second round. The second round will be a straight knockout with the grand final to take place on the 24th of February.

Group overview

Frestovenia is drawn in group A together with Valladares, Indusse, and co-host Northwest Kalactin. All group matches will be played in Northwest Kalactin. Here is an overview of the opponents that Frestovenia will face in their group:

Valladares (68)

Valladares is the highest-ranked team in this group after the hosts Northwest Kalactin. The country has reached the final of the World Cup once back in the 75th edition of the tournament, losing 2-1 to Kita-Hinode at the Isserson Olympic Stadium in Emberton. Valladares also reached the final of the Cup of Harmony in the 49th edition, this time they lost to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. The team of Valladares belongs to the favorites to qualify from this group together with the host Northwest Kalactin.

WCQ87: 4th with 31 points

Indusse (83)

Indusse finished 5th in their qualifying group with 31 points. Leaving a gap of 15 points with the 6th placed team Baggieland. Indusse made it to the last edition of the Cup of Harmony and failed to qualify for the second round. Unfortunately we don't have much more information about this team.

WCQ87: 5th with 31 points

Northwest Kalactin (42)

Last but not least, the host of this edition Northwest Kalactin. The nation will host the tournament together with Cassadaigua. Northwest Kalactin failed to qualify for the World Cup, while Cassadaigua managed to qualify and therefore Cassadaigua will not participate in the Cup of Harmony. It was a very close battle in group 9 of the World Cup qualifiers. Huayramarca finished second with one point more than Northwest Kalactin. Huayramarca later lost the play-off over two legs against Tikariot and will therefore join the field of 64 teams in the Cup of Harmony. The team of Northwest Kalactin will definitely feel the pressure hosts of the tournament. Their best result in the Cup of Harmony is a quarter-final place in the last edition of the tournament as they lost to the team of Astograth in a penalty shoot-out.

WCQ87: 3rd with 39 points

Opening match against Indusse

Alrik Valatanen confirmed that he will start with the usual eleven and no changes have been made. Captain Olaf Artvikker will play his 21st international match for the Frestovenians. He currently has the most caps and is the all-time top scorer in the team. It was uncertain if the goalkeeper of the Frestovenians can play the match against Indusse, but the head coach confirmed earlier today that the lights turned green for him: "It was uncertain if he could play due to a minor injury to his foot that he suffered at the training camp in Frestovenia, but he is oke so he is able to play today". The first group match against Indusse will kickoff tonight at 20:00 (Frestovenian central time). Fresto Sports 1 will broadcast the match.

Schedule

Indusse v Frestovenia
MD1: @TBD, TBD

Northwest Kalactin v Frestovenia
MD2: @TBD, TBD

Frestovenia v Valladares
MD3: @TBD, TBD

OOC: Best wishes to all of you and have fun!

[Squidroidia]

Squidroidian FA President Fukuhara Himeko arrived at the association's headquarters for a meeting before the Squidroidian national team were to take the Cup of Harmony field against Saint-Domingue. She had just arrived from a long journey away from the confines of Gold Coast, being part of the Squidroidian delegation that was present at every tournament draw since the 73rd Baptism of Fire. Hebitaka, the aforementioned Saint-Domingue and an actual Omerica side were their opponents. The last one caught the attention of every beat reporter set to cover the Squidroidian national team, from within and beyond the country the Inklings represented - It was a formal apology from the URSF, Omerica's main football governing body, for the IAC 11 protest, one to make up for the amateur team traveling to Havynwilde instead of the first team and its shining stars.

But President Himeko wasn't concerned with a full strength Incorrigibles team rocking up to the Cup of Harmony. The drawing for these tournaments represented a frat party more than a formal draw. 2 people, a Dagan girl and the Northwest Kalactin manager Jared Sednah, would draw the teams from the 4 pots, and everybody else was having a laugh and a half. The Hapilopper delegate's reaction when they were going to face (Group E for) Eura? Priceless. A South Covellan clown threw a squid on her when Squidroidia were placed into Group L. Even the Toilet showed up. All of that partying for a single draw to see who faces who, from Euran Oceanian Territories all the way up to Mriin, took its toll on the FA's President, and she wanted to show up to this meeting like nothing happened.

And indeed everybody present in the meeting, from the executive staff in the SFA to the delegates from the 16 clubs in the top 2 leagues of Squidroidian football didn't care about the draw antics - They were highly publicized in tabloids throughout the country, some of them calling her "Squidhead Girl" (Not knowing the reference to the Squidhead Cup international collegiate gridiron football competition between the SAFA and KCU) and a "Party Animal". They also called her a "Party Animal" during the draw for World Cup 86 when she went into a toilet. The representatives from all aspects of Squidroidian football wanted to talk about something else - The Jump.

During the break between the end of qualification and now, the 16 member clubs of the Squidroidian Super and Challenge Leagues went to work studying both Rushmori and Atlantian Oceanian football - Their regional club competitions were a high priority for them, and the teams reported their findings straight to Himeko - Both regional club competitions were a single-elimination knockout format, one that pleased the worries of group stage football (Like in Esportiva and the Independents) clogging up the schedule and making teams in the top flight sent out rotated squads for domestic competitions while they go full strength in international competition. Both the AOCL and the RCDC also had 5 rounds, fitting into (With some effort) the knockout stages of the Champions League and Challengers Cup with ease, although in the case of the AOCL they might be "On the verge of adding a 6th round" which might spill over into the IFCF group stages, keeping at least some of the fatigue that the FFI offered up Los Squidroids when they made both the Liga dos Vencedores group stage and the Challengers Cup group stage.

In terms of clubs from their region, both regions made 4 of the top 5 leagues in the world - AO had the best league in the world, the Audioslavian National League, as well as the V-League and the Elven Premier League of Valanora, while Rushmore had the Nepharim Zenith, the second best league in the world. Clubs from these nations, as well as from the other highly ranked leagues like the S-FPL and the Euraleague, are part of an elite pantheon of club football titans - 1830 Cathair, Cedina Beach, Jungle Strike, Herzegovina City, FC Teussen Stelburg and the best club in world football, 6 time champions of the world Raynor City United, were in Atlantian Oceania, while Rushmore boasted the likes of Directus, AFC Treason, Hellinic Rouge and Olympia FC when it came to the club game. On the International side, as the delegate representing Inkopolis FC pointed out, 6 of the last 10 World Cup winners came from AO, and all 3 5 time champions? Also from AO. Rushmore, by comparison, only had Electrum winning one of the last 10 tournaments, while a further 3 - Eura and Nephara twice - lost in the final, all to first time winners in the afformentioned Electrum, the Team That Shall Not Be Named, and Banija. The Big 4 clubs wanted one thing - Squidroidia in AO.

The Squidroidia in Rushmore camp, however, knew that an AO Squidroidia would be wiped out at the AOCAF Cup due to how strong the national teams from that region were. Vilita and Turori, Starblaydia, Valanora, Equestria, Banija, Farfadillis, Audioslavia, heck even Krytenia, Commonwealth of Baker Park and Sarzonia can be uttered in the same sentence when mentioning football powers. Yes, Rushmore had Eura and Nephara and Pasarga and Savojarna and Saragossa and Valladares and Eastfield Lodge and Cassadaigua and Baptism of Fire friends Græntfjall and Tikariot just to name a few, but the competition isn't as tense as, say, AO. This, of course, would technically lead to a stronger, more ready Squidroidia team a couple Copa Rushmoris down the line instead of a AOCAF Cup challenging Inklings team in several cycles. Same strong opposition, just less of it. The Squidroidia in AO camp would respond with the prospects of, say, Yuezhou or Mavinet, both emerging powers, helping to complicate a possible Copa Rushmori win. The talk about national team this and national team that, AO versus Rushmore, Glorious Southwest versus Audistarnora Northeast, AOCL versus RCDC, it was an hours long debate that swayed no voters. Fukuhara Himeko could only respond with a soft Mein Gott.

[Graintfjall]

…at least they have politicians willing to tell it like it really is. The establishment media may sneer at the debates in South Covello, the leftist corporate zeitgeist may say we’re lucky our political process is more ‘civil’, but what they’re really doing is insisting we avoid the hard truth, dumb down to our politics to empty platitudes, a space where nothing truly important can be said. I for one salute Mr D for at least being willing to speak truth to power, something our mealy-mouthed so-called leader of the so-called opposition could hardly be accused.

“Damn straight.”

There was a knock on the door, and Jason Þórhallursson rolled out of bed. He checked through the spyhole – always worth being careful given how crazy some fans could get – and looked out on an empty corridor. He grinned, opened the door – and looked down. Amanda Guttisdóttir was standing there. She followed him into the room.

…Marxist-aligned professors scrubbing their textbooks of any mention of anything that might possibly remind anyone that Græntfjall had made a cultural contribution to the world…

“Is that Þucker Karlsson?” frowned Amanda, face so sour she could have been sucking lemon drops.

“Just had it on for background noise,” he shrugged. “I mean, sometimes the guy makes some interesting points…”

A whole bag of lemon drops.

“Just background noise,” he quickly reassured her, reaching for the remote and flipping the station onto some basketball coverage. The Græntfjaller Super Wolves were – winning? He frowned, and gave the set a slap. Must be something wrong with the signal.

“Here’s what I have so far,” she said. She was holding an indigoborg* envelope, from which she withdrew a stack of papers. Dividers sectioned off the sheaf, numerous colored tags poked out from the side highlighting key documents, and the whole thing was surmounted with a hefty bulldog clip. She handed it over to Jason who made a show of hefting it, alarmed at its size.

“Now, that’s just a start.”

“I know I’m going to regret asking, but…”

“So far I haven’t been able to find any information about the stadiums in Northwest Kalactin where the matches will be played. I actually don’t even know where tonight’s game is.”

“Tonight’s game?”

“Yes, we have a match, tonight. Against New Lusitania.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“Presumably it’s in this city where we’re staying right now?”

“Which is…?”

They both glanced at the fourth wall for a map, or anything, but came up short, shrugging.

“Like I say, we’re a little light on detail there. So this is just information about the other side.”

“Cassadaigua.”

“Yes, that’s where the other matches are being played.”

Jason began leafing through the documents. Þucker Karlsson had done a segment on Cassadaigua on his show the other night, saying it was a country where it was illegal to have a penis. Jason was not especially keen on their plan taking them to such a country, although he couldn’t find anything about a law like that here in Amanda’s notes.

“Now, all our matches will be in Northwest Kalactin, so we don’t need worry about that yet.”

Jason and his penis both breathed sighs of relief.

“But I thought it was important to be prepared. If the final ends up being played there, that’s where the Cup of Harmony will be.”

He handed her back the notes, having zoned out midway through the dental records of Cassadagan FA officials.

“Right, still, d’you think there’s maybe such a thing as being too prepared?”

“No.”

That was not a response Jason cared for, so he ignored it. “It’s just, we won’t even make the final if we don’t play well.”

Amanda began to remember now. Jason had been absent through injury for most of the last Cup of Harmony.

“Listen, this is the Cup of Harmony. If we were playing well we wouldn’t be here at all. No, if we’re going to progress, we need to take a different approach. Here.” She began rooting around inside her hoodie and Jason briefly feared their relationship was about to take a strange turn as she began groping under her pants. But then she started pulling out a long rolled-up tube she’d presumably smuggled in tucked down one pants-leg.

Amanda approached his bed, tutted at the mess, and swept the pile of clothes/drinks bottles/sleeping prostitutes off to one side. She unrolled the chart. Jason peered over her shoulder, hoping fervently it was going to be showing some tactics, how to exploit the Lusitanian back three or press their midfield. It was not.

“Oh no…” he groaned.

---

* A low grade grain of paper with a distinctive light tan color, commonly used for file paper and envelopes in Græntfjall, which has incidentally never heard of ‘Manila’, some place in … ‘the Philippines’? Naming your NS nation after yourself is super lame, Phil.

[Busoga Islands]

The Busoga Chronicle
The Islands #1 News Source!

New look Busogans get set to take on the Cup of Harmony


Busoga Islander players celebrate a goal during World Cup Qualifying

WINCHESTER, CASSADAIGUA- It is a new look and a new attitude for the Busoga Islanders. After struggling to a fifth place finish in their World Cup Qualifying group, the squad will try to put the Qualifying campaign behind them and start with the Cup of Harmony. Bethany Donnell told this to the press. "Look, unlike the last World Cup Qualifying campaign, we find ourselves here at the Cup of Harmony. While it is, of course, never the goal to reach this tournament, this is a fantastic chance for us to improve our skills, and bring some joy to our fans. There is a lot left to accomplish for this team, and we can make some real progress here in the CoH."

The first big thing for the Busoga Islanders, of course, is that they have gotten new kits, and have signed a two cycle contract with them! They are produced by uni·q, a kit manufacturing company started by a few college students in Qusmo, that has suddenly swept the biggest stage. Plenty of national teams have already gotten their crack at the company, and that includes the Busoga Islanders.

"We were excited at the opportunity when we saw another kit manufacturer entered the market, and we will be excited to work with uni·q." The BISA Chairman said. "They have made us some excellent jerseys, and our fans will have the opportunity to now buy some quality jerseys that really represent this country. The kangaroo is on the jersey, and they have made us three excellent kits- red, white, and black. We will be dressed for success, and now the focus will be on our product on the field."

Of course, there is another rumor that has gone into overdrive in recent weeks, which was confirmed with Bethany Donnell's announcement that Artem Kohut, a Delaclav/Busogan dual-national, has filed the necessary paperwork with BISA and the Delaclav federation to switch his allegiance from Delaclava to the Busoga Islands. This, of course, is widely seen as a positive development for the national team. Channeh Jarju, a former midfielder for the national team turned pundit, had the following to say about the switch.

"In the last few cycles, we have struggled to find ourselves a true #9." She said. "We have an excellent defense, of course, but you need some sort of offense to support it. We have shown, time and time again, that we did not have enough firepower to get through the rigors of a World Cup Qualifying campaign. But now, we do. Kohut is an excellent player with world-class potential, who is going to slot right into the #9 role. You've seen him in Quebec. He is quick, he has a great shot, he has a ton of energy. And, he's only 22. Make no mistake about it- this is a huge move for our own national team, and he is going to be hugely important to the setup, almost right away." Much was made of the fact that Delaclava's lack of support for their own national team prompted the opportunity for BISA to poach him, one that they, of course, would jump on.

Artem Kohut made a statement when he held his announcement press conference. "This is the country of my fathers." He said. "I love Delaclava, it is the country I grew up in, but after a lot of introspection, I figured out that it was best for myself and my career to play for the Busoga Islands. I'm already working back into game shape, and I will be ready for the Cup of Harmony." Of course, at press conferences like these, it is almost more interesting what is left unsaid. He brushed away questions about the lack of Delaclav federation support for their national team, or their conscious decision to forgo World Cup 87 Qualifying, but rumor has it those were the primary motivation factors that caused Kohut to look back. Players generally do not put national team associations on blast like that, but media rumors both here and Delaclav support that reasoning. Kohut ultimately felt that he had a better chance of eventually playing in a World Cup if he played for the Busoga Islands.

New striker, new jerseys. What does that mean for Cup of Harmony 79? Hopefully, a reinvigorated side. The team only played one friendly before travelling off to Cassadaigua, and they earned a 0-0 with World Cup participants Savigliane at home. A good result. Kohut came off the bench for that game, playing 20 minutes, although he is expected to start on Matchday 1 of the Cup of Harmony.

Our first opponent will be Twicetagria of Winchester. Winchester- a quaint city. BEst for our older fans. If you want a nightclub, this isn't it, but if you are a Busogan who loves a good bingo night? Then Winchester will be your cup of tea. On the pitch, it will be a tough matchup between the Pot 2 and 3 sides in this group. Twicetagria is an excellent counter-attacking team, while Busoga is similar. Both teams are defensively focused. It's a true tossup. But our fans will be there in droves! Hopefully, we can get off to a good start, because on Matchday 2, we face a top 40 side in Sargossa. We'd rather go into that match with 3 points rather than 0, wouldn't you?

[Sharktail]

Sharktail Post EP 43
FIGHT ON

The curtain of the Cup of Harmony 79 is about to open. Sharktail once again received an invitation to attend this tournament. After failing to qualify for the final round of world cup 87, this tournament can be likened to a wound healing for this team. The 79th Cup of Harmony Championship is the second edition of the Sharktail national team's involvement on the international stage.

In general, we can conclude that over the past few editions, more and more new teams are starting to make strides on the international stage. We see a lot of success after success, surprise after surprise produced by newcomers in this sports arena. Well done and congratulations to all. Turning to the Sharktail national team, these teams, do not have to be too covert, their performance will decrease slightly. Although the results achieved regardless of the regional or international stage can be expressed as good, but clearly, this team has not yet found their best plan or game. The closest example we can take is World Cup Qualification 87. At the beginning of the first quarter, this team lost in a row. Soon this team banhkit returned. But everything changed again, only one less encouraging result was seen to affect the rhythm of this team. The team has yet to find the best rhythm to maintain the consistency of their game.

Era Sahami (85-87).
The touch of champion Sahami's instinct became the team's bet starting the 85th edition. A coach who from nowhere is suddenly able to transform a mediorce team into a champion team which has so far topped the domestic stage at Sharktail. And we can see as long as he holds the helm of Sharktail coaching leadership, he is believed to be a gem capable of giving value to Sharktail. And the result can be seen when Sharktail lifted the first trophy, CMFA MAC 6. The average player is happy with his tactics and stylenye. However, there is one fatal weakness that can be seen, namely survival. Sharktail is still at a standstill looking for the best leader in the defensive position. Although Yusri can be considered a leader, his characteristics are not yet there. Yusri simply sometimes is in a hurry and eats himself. This issue should be the main focus of the Sharktail football association.

It is still a mystery how long the Era Sahami with Sharktail lasted. Maybe today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Or maybe the end of the era is CoH 79. Not to invite players to excuse or make fun but more to give encouragement or encouragement to them. If the Sahami Era is still in use for the 88th edition, we hope it will be a good thing. And if this is the end for the Sahami Era, still stand firmly behind Sharktail giving wholehearted support. The beginning and the end of an era will alternate. Sometimes we go up, sometimes we go down. Every structure will have a process. Defeat does not mean failure, but consider it the best starting point.

Ahead of the clash against Mavinet, 3 full points were targeted, but aware of the threat of friends, Sahami wanted his men to avoid defeat. A defeat can change everything, every important point, whether we get it or we will suffer. The uniqueness of football is unpredictable. Now, the field is ahead, swim the ocean towards your dream and target, The Bule Predator.

Starting line up
David
Harold • Yusri • Homer Harizul • Twin Haizul
Chandra • Nik Akif • Azaim • Khairul Amirin
Gaby • Virman

Formation:4-4-2
Manager:Sahami

[The Gothanita Isles]

As The Gothanita Isles was drawn out of the pot, and it became clear that the team has to overcome one of Mercedini and Tequilo to get to the Round of 32, Zahi Castilias knows that luck is definitely not on his side when he needs it. Or maybe the Goddess of Sports, Margret, was playing yet another cruel joke on him.

There was lots of flashbacks to the start of his career. Coming into Mancodas City, fresh and unknown to the football community, it was a high risk move that the owners took. They know he was a gifted tactician. His analysis of the club's games on a personal blog caught the eye of the owners of Mancodas City, and they decided to hire him since there was no high profile manager willing to take the spot. At first, it seemed good. In the inaugural season of the Poafmersian Premier League, when club football at a national level was about to start, Mancodas City suddenly rose to prominance. Yes, the club may have taken one of the many Poafmersia Champions Cups. But typically, football in Mancodas is dominated by the youth-heavy Mancodas Athletic FC. Mancodas City's academy system wasn't as old or as well developed as that of their neighbours. If you want to talk about down-to-earth, really nice football, then people would go to FC United. But Mancodas City pulled off shocks after shocks. The previous season, they had a tight race Against all odds, they went on to lift the inaugural Premier League title, a seemingly impossible move considering that there were so many clubs ahead of them. Before that, it was winning the Cochas State League title to make it into the PFPL after the restructuring. Then they made it into the semifinals of the independents' regional club competition, though they messed up big time for the Premier League title defence.

2 years ago, when he was first appointed, the Cup of Harmony was a herculean task for his team. He couldn't get anything through. The performance of the team was nowhere near the proper standards, and it was largely forgotten. Last year, during the qualifiers, the team drew a tough group involving South Newlandia, Tumbra, Hampton Island, Garifunya, Valladares, Pasarga and Bluecliff League. A mix of old guards and new stars. And there were lots of questions about whether Zahi could deliver. But he did. With the same squad as he picked for the CoH 2 years ago, he managed to mastermind lots of good results, like a 4-3 away win at Pasarga, a 2-0 victory against South Newlandia, and holding Hampton Island 1-1. There were some matches where he found the tactical breakthrough, and with the players on form, they got a bunch of surprising results that caught the attention of many football fans in the country. Suddenly, they have hope in the nation's football team. The manager is here to bring results.

Fast forward to 1 month ago, when the draw for the Cup of Harmony was made. There was, of course, the impossible top seeds like Eura, Mriin, Newmanistan, and Reçuçen. Thankfully, the Yellow Lions avoided all of those. But they meant Tequilo, Baptism of Fire 72 champions, as well as Mercedini, the Cup of Harmony 77 bronze medalists. As a Poafmer himself, Zahi Castillas personally saw how Poafmersia played it out against them on the different occasions. The Red Horses (or the Red Panjias, in the native Pomish language of Poafmersia), was promptly defeated by Mercedini in the 77th Cup of Harmony, at a time where Zahi was the resident commentator at the Poafmersia Broadcasting Corporation. At the 10th IAC in Omerica, Zahi was a fan sitting in the stands, as he watched Poafmersia beat Tequilo in the semifinals. But they are a very strong, fast paced, attacking side, like Poafmersia. And Zahi knows how much effort the Red Panjias put in in their games - the players need to be workhorses to make it into the national team, not just talents. Probably Tequilo is of a similar level. Even the 4th seeds, Chartisan, aren't exactly pushovers. It will be a difficult group to get out of. Really difficult.

For Zahi, he knows the battle starts tonight. Against Mercedini, he knows that whatever happens, the Yellow Lions cannot lose. The underdogs will have to take the fight to the favourites. And if Gothanitans want to have an idea on where their team stand, they just have to look at what happens tonight.

[Juvencus]

And that was it, the final whistle of the final game of the qualifiers, the team had managed to get through the grand Mercedinian obstacle once again, this time with an 1-2 scoreline and while players on the pitch seemed happy with the victory, the Gouvanarch-San Ortelio game was still going strong heading into stoppage time. The entire team had gathered up around physician Mathis Rotolo, with their eyes glued to his phone screen. One would say they were hopeful for a Gouvanarch goal, however when that didn't come and the match ended, it was game over for the team, with all their aspirations for world cup playoffs and possible qualification to the multiverse's grandest chance tarnished.

"Why couldn't these mandarin oranges show up just this once? For us... It always had to be against us. Lord forgive me for saying this, but what the fuck?" exclaimed Bulgari, his goalkeeping had been of pivotal importance throught the qualification stages, he had every right to be frustrated indeed. "I'll break their fucking faces when I see them again..."

Bulgari throwed his water bottle with extreme force to the ground, Martell saw this and jumped towards him.

"Calm down legionaro, it was just unlucky. It happens, it has happened many times before. Let's hope we get an invitation to the Cup of Harmony and reorganise ourselves there. We have hope, we should re-enter our glorious days once again, I promise you that. No need for violence, especially not towards inanimate objects that we need."

"But don't you see it? Why should all our efforts go to waste because of those who chose not to play when it mattered?"

"Because it didn't matter for them, they were out, this only mattered for us and lady luck wasn't on our side it seems." Martell placed his hand on Bulgari's shoulder, he knew that he had given his all this time and that soon enough there wouldn't be too much to give, especially with younger competition on the way. Bulgari was of incredible importance in the qualifiers, often keeping his side of the goal safe and sound from enemy canoniers. He was about to cry, but held himself, Martell sighed

"However, I have to admit that we did better than other times in these qualifiers. We didn't lose too many games, we are slowly learning how to become better winners. We have to show better attitude, these kids are approaching their peak and we are meant to be those figures they are mean to look up to. Breaking stuff or cussing never helped anyone and it's not something that we will tolerate. Toset wouldn't have accepted it and you know it."

"Do not use Toset's name like that!" deep inside Bulgari knew Martell was right, it hit him like a flash, all these moments coach Toset put them down to show them how to win and remain focused both in the face of adversity and defeat. "You know what, capitan? I'm sorry, I have to cool off."

"Wise choice and remember, we are the example for these bambini."

"Got you."

---

Back to base, Vinceti, the team had returned temporarily, possibly waiting for an invitation for the consolation, or dubbed skillfully by journalists in Juvencus, the tournament of wildcards, the Cup of Harmony. The Juven Football Association had just reopened itself to contact from the outside world, previous invites were turned to dust, or gone, or the inviters were reported "missing" never to be seen again. The association's power had grown within the game and how it was played in the nation, it could possibly be described as a non-political political party, but maybe it was just the people's imagination.

After the multiple warnings he had received, De Casio was worried, as a matter of fact, he was extremely nervous, the point of paleness. This was something quite unusual for a man like him. He knew that his position was on the line with each game, but he also didn't know when the last straw would be pulled. He had a bad feeling coming back home. However he went to the promenade to relax and to take a smoke or plenty while thinking of tactics, it calmed his troubled mind down and, combined with looking deep into the ocean, possibly helped him reach a state of mind categorized as a little nirvana of sorts. Either way, it served him well, however it was short-lived, a couple of really tall men in dark suits approached him and the look on his face was that which could be described as terror.

"You must be Mauro De Casio?"

"Y-yes, that might be me."

"We want you to follow us."

De Casio gasped, his ingenuity wouldn't save him this time.

"Why?"

"Someone very important wants to talk to you, we advise you not to ask further questions."

The suited men proceeded to grab De Casio by his arms as if he were a prisoner and escorted him to their car. A very luxurious sedan, with dark windows. Inside it was a laptop on the back seat with a video call of an undisclosed application on it. A council of sorts was seen through the screen, a very familiar council that De Casio had seen once before, on the initial threat upon his position. He was pushed in place, there was a soundproof cage between the back seats and front seats. Now, he was going to get locked up like a rat in a cell.

"Please, take a seat mister De Casio." said one of the suited men, whilst shoving him into place. De Casio froze, but he succumbed to the shoving as he had no other choice.

The council welcomed De Casio, he was curious as to what this was about, at least he needed to know if all this anxiety was worth it, or if it was all just some facade to keep him on tactical edge, no matter the opponent. Sometimes this worked, emphasis on sometimes. Sometimes was not enough, he knew about that. Usually was better, but always would be the best. De Casio went back to his brash self for a second, he needed to.

"Hello, hello. Why are you contacting me in the back of a sedan? Why did you send 2 giant men to put me in to communicate to you? Why-"

"We will have to stop you right there. See, your performances have given the people a sliver of hope and, because of that, we have received yet another Cup of Harmony invitation from certain people in Northwest Kalactin and Cassadaigua. We have decided to accept that, the reason being is that we have not seen enough of you to certainly know whether the team is on an improvement trajectory or not. Your job, as well as your life are safe, but under 2 conditions. You get to keep both your job and your life if you manage to give us yet another Cup of Harmony victory, just like your predecessor, August Toset, and by our sources he should temporarily manage the national team of Tequilo. You only get to keep your life if we go deep in the knockouts, quarter-finals and later. Get us eliminated before that and it is over for you, just like Antonio Campana, we will end you."

"Hold on here, I have to what now?" De Casio entered a state of shock and immediately went into a rage fit.

"What the hell am I supposed to tell my family, then? Are you kidding me? This is fucking ridiculous."

"Hold on there, you promised us we would be in the world cup by this point. We did not see you hold on to your promise, you either give us a performance for the centuries or forget about it all. Capish?"

"Alright, I guess I have no choice."

"Glad we could cooperate with you mister De Casio."

[Flavovespia]

Cup of Harmony 79 Preview

Qualifying has been and gone, and Flavovespia find themselves once again in the Cup of Harmony. Hopes of a first World Cup appearance faded relatively quickly in the competitive Group 3, as Flavovespia just couldn’t find wins against the top to mid-tier seeds of the group. Group winners and Cup of Harmony co-hosts Cassadaigua ran away with the group unbeaten. 2nd placed TJUN-ia suffered a play-off heartache, a 2-3 win in Siovanija & Teusland nullified by a 5-6 home loss to go out 8-8a. They join Flavovespia and 62 others in the 79th edition of the Cup of Harmony. Flavovespia ended up 4th in the end, some way off the impressive performing Top 2, but nevertheless, still something of a disappointment. Alan Young and plenty of the players will be looking for redemption in the Cup of Harmony.
Flavovespia found themselves in Group H following the conclusion of the draw. Playing their games in Northwest Kalactin instead of Cassadaigua is a potential benefit for Flavovespia. With Northwest Kalactin not only in Atlantian Oceania, but relatively close to Flavovespia, the team and fans don’t have far to travel for the tournament, which could reduce the effects of long travel and unfamiliar climates. The 3 teams that join Flavovespia in the group (in order of fixtures) are:

Blouman Empire

Blouman Empire are a nation who’ve returned to international football in recent years, with plenty of experience before that. They participated in the last 2 editions of the Cup of Harmony, but didn’t advance beyond the group stage on either occasion. This cycle they were in contention for a World Cup Qualifying play-off spot going into the final game. They did what they needed to do, but Independent Athletes from Quebec got the win over Ko-oren they needed to secure 2nd and eliminate Blouman Empire. Blouman Empire are ranked 59th in the world, and the Pot 2 side of the group, so they’ll be optimistic of at least a Round of 32 appearance, maybe even the group win.

Lewis Parry has been their manager as they attempt to return to their former glories. His chosen formation is an attacking 4-1-2-3 setup. Brad Hunter and Paul Credab will likely look to provide width and put pressure on the Flavovespian full backs. Flavovespia meanwhile, will likely be looking to target the space in behind the midfield, putting John Miller under pressure. A winner coming out of of the opening game will hope that can carry them to the group win.

Juvencus

Winners of the Cup of Harmony 71 and runners up in Cup of Harmony 73, Juvencus will come into this tournament knowing exactly how it can be won. Like the Blouman Empire, they had a chance at making the playoffs on the final Matchday. Their win at Mercedini wasn’t enough however, as impressive newcomers San Ortelio got the draw they needed to make the playoffs. With plenty of international experience, Juvencus will have hopes of defying their Pot 3 status to make it into the knockout stages.

Juvencus style of play has been termed Pomenienze. It looks at using pace to break on the counter, to try and seize the initiative in a dead heat, but also content to sit back and grind out wins when a lead is established. Another key feature is a hot-headed mentality, Juven players aren’t afraid to get stuck in and fight hard for victory. Mauro De Casio is a manager under pressure from his nation, and thus expect that mentality in full flow. A flexible 3-4-3 is the formation most likely to be used. Santo Silvestri will lead the attacking line, with Joaquim Martell and Patxi Etxeberria helping in attack down the wings. The midfield will be set to supply long balls at pace, so Flavovespia will have to be aware of the threat of the counter. The second group game, the heat could be on if guaranteed qualification or elimination is on the table for a team in this match.

Murphtannia

Murphtannia are only in their 2nd cycle of international football, but on both occasions have made the Cup of Harmony. Their debut match in the Cup of Harmony 78 was as good as it can get, George Jenkins scored the only goal in a 0-1 upset over eventual winners Krytenia. Although they come into this Group as the Pot 4 side, they could upset any of the other teams if they’re not given the respect they deserve. One of their squad, Steven Hurricane, may be a familiar face to Flavovespians and in particular some of the national team players, as he plays for Kings Lunsel.

Murphtannia’s manager George Murphy uses the 4-1-2-1-2 formation, much like Flavovespia, but with added emphasis on attack. The wing backs, James Cartlidge and Jack Bridge will be looking to get forward often, to try and develop the play and provide crosses. The biggest presence in midfield, quite literally, is George Jenkins. Despite being 2m tall, he is still good on the ball, pacey and a danger from set pieces. The star for Murphtannia is George “Murph” Murphy (not to be confused with the aforementioned manager). The precocious teenage striker is quick, accurate and full of leadership and ambition. He can’t be underestimated at all by the Flavovespian defence. The last game of the group, there could be all to play for when Flavovespia meet Murphtannia.


This Cup of Harmony, with 64 teams has a real mix of names in it, but leading in the bookies odds to win are Eura and Mriin. Eura, currently ranked 12th in the KPB Rankings have 27 World Cup appearances, and have been World Champions twice. It is rare for a team so prestigious to be in the Cup of Harmony. Mriin, ranked one place below Eura, are 9 times World Cup qualifiers and were co-hosts of World Cup 85. They’re also considered big contenders. Other potential contenders from Pot 1 include Reçueçn, who unfortunately ended an impressive streak of World Cup qualifications this cycle and Krytenia, defending champions of the Cup of Harmony. However the Cup of Harmony is a tournament where upsets can and do happen. San Ortelio for example, nearly qualified for the World Cup as an unranked nation, and even with a ranking of 117th in the world, could go far. Many tip them as a lower Pot dark horse.

In cycles past that Flavovespia have been in, there have been groups of 5,6, or 7. However this 4 team group stage means just 3 games before the qualifiers. One bad game can mean the difference between a group win, scraping through or even going home. After just 3 games played, 32 of the teams in Northwest Kalactin or Cassadaigua will find themselves going home. Then, the eternally tense knockout stages, 31 teams will suffer some form of heartache, one team will win 5 in a row and lift the Cup of Harmony. 128 games of football await in this tournament, and the anticipation is ever building.

Attached, a free wallchart of the Cup of Harmony 79, courtesy of the Flavovespia Football Daily

[Kandorith]

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Shinonome Kyoai - International

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Cup of Harmony 79, the expectations.
After a failed World Cup Qualification campaign Watanabe faces his first big tournament.
By Natsumi Miyasaki
Sports

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TENKYO, KANYORI — With pain in the hearts of the Kandorese fans, the Lotus Warriors were eliminated from qualification for the World Cup in a very tightly contested group. After the resignation of Hayabusa, Akira Watanabe was unable to turn the tide for the Kandorese team. With an invitation to the Cup of Harmony Watanabe will face his first major tournament and he is fully in charge for the first time too. Of course for the Kandorese fans the Cup of Harmony has mostly been a story of success as the team has been consistently been successful in it's earlier campaigns. The most proud achievement of course, Cup of Harmony 77; the first silverware for the nation ever.

Akira Watanabe is expected to at least reach the quarter-finals as the pressure for the tournament is mounting; when looking at the group surviving the group phase is more than expected. Kandorith is placed in group K and at a first glance not one of the hardest groups to be in; although stiff competition is expected. The Kandorese team will face Bluecliff League, Saltstead and zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom (by far the most unkind competition the Kandorese might face when it comes to word of mouth). Expectations right now are that the Kandorese will be placing themselves as group winners, yet opposition like Saltstead might just have a few surprises going for them.

The choice has been made on the selection of the team with absolutely no changes from the qualification squad. Watanabe himself has stated that he has the uttermost confidence in this team and has pointed out that the failure to qualify has to do with the experience of playing together in a system which did not work for them. From the first day he took the reigns the manager has changed the formation and playstyle of the team, ushering in a whole new era of Kandorese football. A more balanced, controlled style of football which still has not won the hearts of most Kandorese fans. For the fans, letting go of the Hayabusa era has been a struggle. Of course, he has been the most successful manager the Kandorese national team has ever had; yet even Hayabusa himself has said that times change.

With complete confidence and security the Kandorese team will go into the Cup of Harmony to hopefully once again, bring home one of the most prestigious prices in international football. Expectations are high, morale however; remains low after the World Cup Qualifiers. It is up to Watanabe and his recently 'reformed' national team to show the Kandorese fans, and the world, what Kandorese football is all about once again.

[Sargossa]

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Sport



New Look Side. Old Look Opposition



Blanco Borrayo reports;


And ‘lo, t’was that another World Cup campaign came to a conclusion. The fortunes of nations in international football tend to, unless your ears happen to be slightly pointy, come in peaks and troughs. Having ridden a peak which saw seven consecutive trips to the World Cup Finals, a third successive qualification failure would suggest Sargossa is now in the midst of a trough. There was a time when that would be hard to take but the Sargossan public are hardened to this now. Ending the qualification campaign behind Audioslavia and a trio of talented sides from Huayramarca, Northwest Kalactin and Mytanija was met with a collective sanguine shrug of the shoulders rather than the vengeful rage that would perhaps have been seen in the past.

Consequently, there was no inquest after the failure, and no ditching the entire coaching staff and starting a whole new project. Which is nice. Tikariotian coach Brian McAllister remains at the helm with the blessing of both his bosses at the Football Federation of Sargossa (FFS) and the public at large. Some of the results may have been questionable but if you like seeing goals then by Margaret has the coach got it right. Where it’s gone wrong is at the back. Alejandro Martínez and captain Juan Esnáider are expected to retain their places but the rest of the backline is set for a shakeup. Big Raúl Dengra is tipped to partner Esnáider in the centre, after a strong domestic campaign, with Juan Manuel Martí and the exciting youngster Tobías Figueroa taking the fallback roles. And in something of a surprise move Marcos Águila, who had seemed like a nailed on starter for years to come, is likely to lose his berth to the more defensive minded Esteban Pomar.

Interestingly, despite outscoring even the mighty Bulls in qualifying, the attack too may see a shake-up. The coach has stated his desire to experiment with some new partnerships, which could see the likes of Esteban Leguizamo and Diego Cazalla earn starting spots. At least temporarily. Although Mateo Manzanares’ position at the focal point of the attack remains sacrosanct after a stack of goals in the qualifying campaign.

It’s in the Cup of Harmony that these changes will be seen and the opposition in that contest have been revealed. There will be debut fixtures against Twicetagria, who finished third behind The Holy Empire and Trolleborg, and the Busoga Islands, who were left twenty points behind group winners Cassadaigua. But first up it’s a familiar foe. It’s always nice to see a Rushmori nation return to international action, and Mapletish are no exception. Corsairs and Dragons will resume their acquaintance, having faced each other on four previous occasions. Sargossa have won all four of those past fixtures and coach Brian McAllister will be hoping for a fifth to give the side a solid foundation to build a group campaign on.

Elsewhere the Cup of Harmony field is absolutely huge and features a whole stack of sides that will have title ambitions. Newmanistan are a big name in World Cup history, Mercedini and Tequlio can beat anyone put in front of them, Jeruselem have been doing this since Margaret was young, Darmen, HUElavia, South Covello and Electrum all rest upon fine sporting traditions. Not to mention reigning champions Krytenia, top twenty sides Reçueçn and Mriin and… dear God… is that Eura? Good luck picking a favourite from this field.