World Cup 87 - RP Thread

[South Newlandia]

It remains unclear. How did we pull this off? It certainly wasn’t an easy group. It wasn’t an easy schedule either; the Elephants have no matches remaining against top five seeds. There is only one reasonable, solidly realistic conclusion: The Elephants got lucky. And boy, they sure did.

Big wins

Against Garifunya, the Elephants once again had some trouble. De Dolfijnen played a good game, able to hold mostly even with South Newlandia, but the fighting spirit of the team once again netted them three points. Playing in the home of the Walstreim Lions, it was Patrick McMora who broke the tie just before the half. The rest of the match saw the now established and extremely well operating defense line of Roy, Anderson, Gurero and Barker hold against the attacks of Garifunya, with Trischuk solving the rest of the problems. The 29-year-old is playing his best cycle yet so far, age doesn’t seem to be getting to him yet. The narrow win kept South Newlandia on even footing with group leaders Pasarga, but a tough matchup in Valladares was looming.
Having beaten Valladares in Newport 3-2, they would now have to travel to Rushmore. Surprisingly, they pulled off yet another 3-2 win. The defense showed some weak moments against the Rushmori powerhouse, but the offense picked up the slack, with Irving netting the early lead, and Wallis following that up in the 23rd minute. The team was looking good, at least a score by Wilfried Baume cut the lead in half just before the end of the first half. After the break, the Elephants needed to respond, and they did; with Irving hitting the post on the first attack. However, it was Valladares who clawed back into the game, equalizing thanks to a beautiful volley by Thibault Benezet. The game was tied with about twenty minutes to go, and Wolverine sent Michael Glossman onto the field. Glossman had struggled a lot recently, playing bad seasons and remaining ineffective for the national team. This was his moment to shine; he could right the wrongs of the last few games. He did nothing of value, but Dhruv Roy scored on a corner from McMora in the 77th minute, giving the Elephants the win.
This win, again, keeps them on equal footing with Pasarga, while the lead to third place has been increased to a solid six-point gap. With the four strongest seeds out of the way already, it may almost look like they have a shot for at least a playoff. However, they also pulled of something historic in that game:

This has never happened before in any six-game stretch of South Newlandian football history. And it will go down as a great stretch, featuring tough wins over Pasarga, Valladares, and Hampton Island, and more; a stretch that certainly didn’t come easy. The Elephants have been playing their best football at the time it mattered most. The cause of the sudden form explosion remains unclear; the 4-4-2 diamond is still the same old formation they’ve always used. The team is, mostly, the same team as ever. What has changed are the opportunities. Presented with opportunities to do great, the Elephants will always try their hardest. We’ve seen this phenomenon before, but not at this scale. With a real chance to go to the World Cup, however small it may still be, the Elephants are fighting tooth and nail for every ball. And they succeed. They want to win.
And they will, inevitably, choke it. With five more or less dangerous teams waiting, the Elephants will likely be stumbling somewhere on the road. They have probably a good chance to secure the playoff, but with all the fantastic teams that may be waiting there, that may only be a detour on the way home.

Let us, for now, enjoy the fantastic football, including a great chance into the direction of the Wanderers. Pasarga has run into a bit of trouble during the South Newlandian win streak, blowing an eight-point lead on the Elephants. The Wanderers remain the high favourites, and they proved to be back in business with a strong performance against their region mates from Valladares, and by absolutely thumping struggling Regmotto.
Next for the Elephants are a home game against Bluecliff, a team that is still doing solidly in 6th, although they haven’t quite held on to their fantastic start, and a trip to Regmotto, an already eliminated side with just two points to their name. In other words, just the stones that the Elephants typically trip over. Elephants don’t have fingers to cross, so we can just hope for the best and watch.

[Huayramarca]

Condors, bulls and turtles - Head to head for the top.

Written by: Humberto Tello.
28/03/1982 – 5:25 P.M.

The last week has been a great one for the Huayramarcan Football Team, after being in a quite distant third place, a series of favorable results that included two Condor wins, Northwestern Kalactin only getting two out of six points and Audioslavia getting four out of six, made possible a triple draw at the top position of the group. Each team (Audioslavia, Huayramarca, Northwestern Kalactin) has 30 points and there are five matches remaining, with Huayramarca having to face both teams during that time period. Among some fans, there’s some optimism by the situation, but among others, serenity is the king, since anything can happen. The main factor for us here is to see if Huayramarca has gotten enough experience to turn it into their favor.

By talking of experience, the Audioslavian Bulls are way more experienced than any team in this group, they know what are they facing and that will be vital for the closure of the World Cup Qualifiers, meanwhile, Northwestern Kalactin and Huayramarca aren’t the most experienced sides in the block, but those two are emotion-driven sides that want to prove out that they have enough capability to fight among the best, still, going slowly but steady in their path. Omar Caicedo, the Huayramarcan National Team manager is aware that there’s a lot in gamble for the ending of this Qualifiers, and he wants to transmit that feeling to their players, but has something special to consider in this interview.

“We have nothing to lose”. Were the initial words of a chilled-up manager, Caicedo is simply enjoying the moment as he says “I don’t want to see far away from the next matches, I do only want to focus on what I have to face immediately, that’s the important thing for me”. The next matches against Ibixa and Sargossa are an important cornerstone for the most difficult part of the qualifiers in terms of the leaderboard current status. “It doesn’t matters how we are right now if we stumble in the upcoming matches, and that’s why I want to keep my mind focused on what I have in front, this isn’t a horse race, this is more like an endurance race; you have to adapt yourself to the ever changing circumstances, be able to manage the talented players you have in order to overcome or make those circumstances lean in your favor” said Caicedo while pointing out to the 5th matchday of the Qualifiers, as Huayramarca suffered a lot while playing Ibixa at home.

“Do you wonder how we would be right now if we wouldn’t made sandcastles by the previous results?” said while doing a reflection “We would be on top, but that’s not a complain on the score, it’s a complaint against our attitude, as how we started to dream with a couple of matches.” Caicedo continued “That’s why I urge people to live each match as the last one in their lives, don’t go far away of your current circumstances in a World Cup Qualifier, be always realistic and keep working game by game”. Those reactions are due to the optimism that some people are feeling in regards of the Huayramarcan Football Team. “Don’t let me misunderstood” said the manager while sipping some water “I do like your support and enthusiasm, but channelize it to the current or next game”. That was a clear message towards fans to don’t make themselves lots of illusions nor sandcastles, rather, to be realistic with the team current moment.

The momentum is positive for the Condors, indeed, they are in a trio at the top of the leaderboard, Audioslavia is on top by having a better combined performance against Huayramarca and Northwestern Kalactin, despite they have the same amount of goals scored as the Condors (27), while our guys have received one goal less than the bulls (15 vs 14). Northwestern Kalactin goal figures are better with 32 goals for and 16 against. Something that favors the Condors is the fact of having received fewer goals than anybody in the group, thus, making them the best defense in it, although, being close to what the other two squads had done throughout the Qualifier.

According to Caicedo, part of it is due to the “cohesive squad we have built”. This statement is reinforced by what Caicedo dubs “El Huayco” (or mudslide). In a mudslide, there’s a lot of material coming off together, that reference is used by Caicedo to the team. “They attack as a block; they defend as a block”. Also, he adds “Block plays are the future of football, I don’t mean that as one of its users, I do see that when I have the chance to see some Nepharim football, they always have the best domestic league, part of their success is the fact of turning football into a real team game”. He considers that sometimes the interpretation of football goes away when some teams bet to what a player can do, rather than focusing to what does that player can do for the team.

“I like to encourage my guys that I like teams that are cohesive and have a lot of courage to play, that’s something important while building identity as a group, something you might stick to it and may forge ideals that may take you through a path. That helps you to build some tangible objectives, small ones but noticeable, that may increase your morale and serve as guide/reference for the future”. Mentions Caicedo while seeing his clock, it was about time to begin the training for those important matches, the cornerstones, as he referred earlier.

Let’s support the Huayramarcan National Team in their next home match, in Guayaquil, against Sargossa in what will be a heavily disputed and important match for our guys. They need your support, come to the coast, enjoy and cheer up for our nation, in their route to achieve sporting greatness, block by block, with confidence.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Three Things
Salwan Mynhier

Better results, but still along way to go, and qualification chances look pretty slim. Krytenia can be relied upon to do what Krytenia does best, but for Poafmersia to fail to make the playoff would be a massive collapse.

1. Attacking boost from an Unexpected Source
   Rather than shuffling her roster to try to get production from a different attacking player, Groothuis instead, appears to have worked on her preferred first team's execution, particularly on set pieces. Goals from corner and free kicks have been rare thus far in qualifying for the Black-and-Reds, and she seems to have correctly identified the area most in need of improvement. Walda Harkhan chipped in a goal from a corner kick to even the scoreline early in the second half against Poafmersia. Buoyed by its first goal in nearly six hours of play, the team rallied around the center back, and while they ultimately could not hold the lead Petrov earned them, the resulting draw was an important step back to good form. Against Caryton, the defense was once again active, this time in the form of Jaylene Kazarov, who replaced Valda Harkhan out left after she sustained a strained ankle against Poafmersia. Groothuis emphasized that both Harkhan twins are expected to be available in time for the match against Farfadillis. Kazarov was an able replacement against an opponent of Caryton's stature, though some sloppy play late should see Valda return as soon as she's able. Kazarov's goal did open the scoring though, and neither of Caryton's tallys can be said to be solely her fault. Perhaps it's best not to pile on the criticism too much. Kick started once again by a defender, the attack found its feet, and Naqvi found a second, sending the right back tumbling to the ground with a cutback turn before sliding the ball home at the near post. After an ugly second half saw Caryton halve, and then eliminate the lead entirely, Gerstlauer found the winner late on with a screamer from the edge of the box. This renewed life breathed into the attack couldn't come at a better time for the Black-and-Reds. A daunting test away to Farfadillis looms, followed by a crucial six-pointer against Gyatso-kai. Every point is precious, and while many have likely written the team off as a playoff contender by this point, you can be sure that Groothuis is not among them.
   
   
2. Made up some Ground
   Speaking of the chances for making the playoff, the Black-and-Reds have managed to improve their position by three points during the past two matchdays. Poafmersia's upset loss to West Zirconia means the Black-and-Reds close to just five points out of second place by virtue of their defeat of Caryton. Krytenia sit in between, three points out of a playoff spot, and Gyatso-Kai are right on our heels, fifth only by virtue of the Black-and-Reds' head-to-head tiebreaker. With four teams all within five points of each other, it should be a thrilling finish, though the Bisons and Black-and-Reds are at best long shots to finish in second when all's said and done. Krytenia, after finding a way to win despite allowing three goals to Caryton, followed it up the the expected loss to Farfadillis, allowing the Black-and-Reds to creep one point closer to third. The Dragons, Bisons, and Black-and-Reds all still have to play each other, while Poafmersia and Farfadillis must face off in the final matchday. The match between Poafmersia and Krytenia is also still to come, as is the Red Panjias' match against Gyatso-kai. In short, the number of matches between contending teams is still far too high to sort out the vast number of possible outcomes, and while you really do have to favor Poafmersia for the playoff, any of the other three chasing them could take second without being a major shock. The matches highlighted above will play a huge role in deciding the outcome, but a poorly timed letdown against a lower seed, or finding a way to hand the Farves their second loss of qualifying have just as much chance to be impactful. The takeaway here is, tune in. It's going to be a wild finish.
   
   
   
   
3. There is no Third Point Today
   Weird stuff on the news from the Imperium lately though, isn't there? Trade war with Sarzonia a few years back, and now throwing a hissy fit over some Krytenian protectorate? Bunch of pissbabies the lot of them.

SRS Qualifying Schedule and Results:

MD1  SWE 1-2 SRS @ First Coast Stadium (cap. 33,000), Auberlin, SWE
MD2  SRS 2-1 KRY @ Megabrantid Financial Field (cap. 69,245), Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS
MD3  PFA 3-2 SRS @ Libira National Stadium (cap. 68,000), Fiskadaha City, PFA
MD4  SRS 1-0 CAR @ New Rudlit Arena (cap. 31,200), Rudlit, West Flania, SRS
MD5  WZA 2-3 SRS @ Edge Hill, Bradley, WZA
MD6  SRS 1-2 FFD @ Bridger Lane (cap. 72,406), Damogran, Algolia, SRS
MD7  GKI 2-3 SRS @ Stadia Capital (cap. 78,050), Beijing, Jing, GKI
MD8  SRS 2-0 BGJ @ Synesoft Arena (cap. 38,600), Syneca, Sivoliva, SRS
MD9  SNB 0-0 SRS @ [redacted]
MD10 SRS 0-1 SWE @ Reinallt Arena (cap. 41,230), Golgafrincham, Megabrantis, SRS
MD11 KRY 1-0 SRS @ Oxley Park, Emberton, KRY
MD12 SRS 2-2 PFA @ Slavnarzeczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD13 CAR 2-3 SRS @ [redacted]
MD14 SRS  v  WZA @ Olympiastad (cap. 47,550), Arkintoofle, Megabrantis, SRS
MD15 FFD  v  SRS @ TBA
MD16 SRS  v  GKI @ Castle Street (cap. 57,300), Jaglan, Algolia, SRS
MD17 BGJ  v  SRS @ TBA
MD18 SRS  v  SNB @ Ralph Wilson Memorial Stadium (cap. 48,700), Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS

[Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom]

Maria shrugged her shoulders, “Hey,” she said aloud, re-reading out Janija’s message.

Janijaisntonline [Today/09:29:23]: Hey, I got something I need to do.
If I don’t post by 10 your time, could you post the results for me?

---

It was fast and loose with the rules, but nothing was illegal about helping finish your own tournament. The only downside is that Maria hadn’t the foggiest idea what was going on any of these RPs. The football season had begun to pick up, and that took out time in Maria’s schedule. Not only that, but news on the world cup qualifications in her world took up a fair bit of time compared to fictional sports. Montagnard Pas appeared to be the most timely. Though it was always possible that they were late again.

---

“This will work, sir.” Fritz said to Hockman. “A party leader is always concerned,” Hockman said. “I know, we’ll be alright.” Fritz said back. The party learde put an arm on Frtiz’s back, “Waltersen, you has better be right. Nine of your friends are here. The one won’t be around this country for a while.” Fritz chuckled, “everything will be fine,” he said, walking away. Frtiz could hear the announcement that he was next to speak at this conference.

Frtiz got onto the podium, being him up were officials from around the country, party bosses, education leaders, union representative, and others of prime importance, “Gentlemen,” Frtiz said, “we are at a crossroads for prosperity in our country.” Fritz looked out into the crowd, seeing his key targets milling about, getting to their seats. Once the Prime Minister and his assistant Dufort sat fully, Fritz began to consult his papers. The young minister continued, “Fourty nine percent of funds expected from hosting the World Ice Hockey Championships were outstanding.” Fritz stopped, his mouth open slightly and he eyeballed the Prime Minister, and his assistant, looking away. “The consequences have been great and are well publicized. Out public wallets would be in pain if they were men.” He noticed Dufort whispering to the Prime Minister, and the par stood up. “I would stay, Philipe.” Fritz said pleading with face and neck gestures. The Prime Minister sat down, Dufort looking up at Frtiz, and recusing himself from an upright position.

“My predecessors took stock of this in the finance ministry.” Fritz said, as if nothing had happened. We assessed the situation, as they did. As we know, monetization was limited by sporting authorities outside of our jurisdiction. Both old and new teams concluded this was a major factor in the. We know this of course, either us, our staff, or our favorite pundits have all read the Ballouhey-Guillain-Leven report. Of course, there are many questions about this report. Regardless, there were some unanswered questions.” Fritz began to describe more facts of the situation. The paper trail that started with the sports authorities and the hockey federation president, now a member of parliament, and Mr. Jean-Henri Dufort, then federation president’s chief of staff.

Serious accusations of embezzlement cannot be taken lying down. “I’m sorry, but I haven’t a clue where you developed your delusions.” Dufort said. “We have business to attend. Apologies are in order for Ms. Caillaux, and Mr. Murin especially.” Dufort began to walk away, but the Prime Minister took his arm. “Dufort, who is Murin?” he asked, before letting out a calm, “Dufort.” Fritz spoke suddenly, “Walter Murin,” he said, continuing “the third richest man in the New Seraphim Republic” Frtiz began moving through his papers, “investor in one of the brands which intended to sponsor the championship, Gale Soda.” The prime minister trend to his assistant. “Can you explain why you knew about Murin?”

Serious accusations of embezzlement are nothing anyone takes lightly. Dufort stood up for himself, literally standing up, and approaching Fritz's perch, turning his head to the Prime Minister, looking out into the crowd, where cronies were around, “Well, ask him, sir. He should not even be here!” Dufort said loudly, “You should not be here!” Dufort shouted pointing to Fritz, “and you should not be here,” he said to his boss, turning “and I should not be here!” Dufort stormed from the conference hall, jutting past an old acquaintance. “Do no interpret tonight crossly.” Fritz said, “Almost all of us have all been fooled, not least our great Prime Minister Perrin. His career prospects are a price that the thieves were willing to pay, same with all of yours.” With that Fritz walked off the stage.

---

That sure escalated quickly. The thirty mile per hour car chase was wild enough. How was Terra Salamantica doing?

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YNW Football Championship 31 Update

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After a dreadful spill in training, Stef Snijders will be sitting out the remainder of qualifying with a knee fracture. Much criticism had been lobbied agains the national team itself for this, but the reaggravation of Snijders’ knee was described by Norris Grrove sports analyst Deania Brown as, “a long time coming.” Regardless, Julia Lindit from Maynard-Straudum has become a member in the squad’s double pivot. Results haven’t been tragic. A X-X results and a X-X result have been good with a slightly modified squad. What’s impressive is the slick free kicks on the part of Senna van Veen. She’s responsible for two goals in the campaign, and doesn’t seem to be slowing down off the ball either. Full marks should also be given to Adriaan Crusan, who recorded his first clean sheet in qualifying after van Nistelrooy's temporary absence. "We're an evolving side" manager Rodney Corvistone told media after their victory.

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The Mysterious Letter Pt. 4

Pyo arrived at his home, unhappy as anyone would be, but relaxing. Home would be fuller now, though he wasn’t sure how to tell his wife the news of his demotion. A limo was pulling away from his home. Or was it perhaps the neighbor? “Impossible” Pyo said to himself “the neighbors don’t have any fame.” Peo parked in his driveway. He saw the door open. Two little ones spilling out. “Daddy, daddy.” Pyo got up, picking up his little boy, the other hugging his leg. As Pyo came into his home, walking up the short flight of steps, his wife waiting. The two came together tightly. “Bad news?” She asked, looking into his eyes. “Marta,” he said, always using her name to bear bad news. “It’s okay,” she said, not knowing what had happened. “We had a visitor,” she said, “A fair skinned girl, she left this note.” Marta kissed her husband on the cheek and handed Pyo a package.

Pyo looked over the envelope. It was thick, and had some weight to it. “Some note,” he said, seeing his eldest child texting in the corner of the room. “Hey teenager,” he said, pitching a wave. She looked up, taking off her earbuds. “That lady was a creep,” she said looking at her mother. The father of three came over, “Dad’s here, Juliah. Don’t worry” he gave here a hug, Juliah smiled to herself, and said nothing. Pyo took the delivered goods, and went up the stairs to his study. The older man remembered he hadn’t told his wife about the dismissal. It could wait a few minutes, because this limo and package business was more pressing in the moment. Pyo pulled out a piece of shiny paper, and read over it.

To whom it concerns:

---

Mr. van Creveld, you are an athlete of esteem. We are aware that circumstances are unfortunate for you. Our sympathies are great. If you wish to fix this situation. An exciting opportunity is available for you. Our assistant has given you this letter. We apologize in advance for our inability to speak with you in person now. However, we know your plight. Would you like a second opportunity? The Kix Project is willing to help you.

~Ms. Fantasy

Pyo felt around the envelope. A piece of metal and some sort of tablet fell out. The metal was a stylus of sorts. Pyo tapped the screen, and a projection came up. “What in the world?” he asked to himself. A woman, chest and up, was being displayed The hologram repeated the message from the letter, but with another comment at the end. “Mr. Boliarte of the Kix project wishes to invite you to discuss terms of a contract.”

---

Maria had seen this story before. A long time ago, a user claimed to role play a “true to life” story about athletes in other dimensions. That RPer took the existence of the “Kix Project” to his account’s grave. Janija used to get a kick out the stories, too bad he was preoccupied. A little picture of a heart.

Overall this was an unusually short RP for Salamantica. It was a familiar feeling to Maria, who always thought felt pre writing a story would make things go smoother for her. Too bad she’d never try herself. Oh well, an update was an update, and it didn’t have any crazy typos. Maria continued to plug away, not wanting to be late again. Everyone was more than understanding, and some people enjoyed taking advantage of extra time. Pride was the matter for Maria. She began to score the next round of results. Before that, Maria noticed nobody had fixed the error. Only fourteen slots were available in the playoffs, and nothing had been corrected on the OP. The original post was quickly amended to changed this.

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Day 11: Playoff Matches (group runners up vs. third place teams)

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“Maria!” oh shoot, it was dad, “You come here a minute” Maria shouted back, “Coming!” and walked away. A message coming on Fuwa from Carlos.

Janijaisntonline [Today/10:18:15]: Thanks, sorry I’m busy now. Really didn’t expect this to happen. 
Janijaisntonline [Today/10:18:24]: See you tomorrow. ;hearts:

---

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Baker Park National Team traditions, explained.

While the modern national team era for the men began in 1948, and the women's NT was first formed in 1979, it wasn't until the dawn of mixed gender play that some of the rituals & traditions that have developed over the course of the history of the FAC became known to the average supporter. Let's look at some of the established "insider" aspects that have been the bond among players who have represented the country.

Black & Gold
The first NT in 1948, managed by Robert Lake of Corinthians, wore all white kits which became the origin of the "Ghost Whites" uniforms that became the traditional 'change strip' for the next 40 years; Harry Yates of V&A took charge in 1949 and wanted shirts that were more visible, so he asked the athletic equipment manager at University of the Commonwealth if would be possible to borrow UC's varsity team kits for the 3 match tour the national team was preparing for. As it happened, UC was planning on purchasing all new uniforms for their team, so the school passed along their old shirts (and track suit warmups) to the FAC. The all-gold unis were worn for 3 years, and in 1952 all new kits were purchased, the only change being black shorts replacing the gold. The scheme has remained pretty consistent through the years ever since.

Captains
Like all national teams, the player chosen to lead & represent the squad was the choice of the manager (and the association in certain nations), and there was usually no set criteria except having the confidence of said manager to keep players disciplined. The first four NT managers were only in charge for a single year, and it wasn't until 1952 that a more permanent arrangement developed, as Oliver Pettibone began a four year stint; his squads were the first to have a semblance of continuity from one year to the next, and he had no hesitation in choosing his first captain--the legendary Toby Morris of Hillsborough FC, a hard charging inside forward who was the National League's Most Outstanding Player in the 1952 season, which is what led Pettibone to approach him in April that year when his Newport side visited Hillsborough.

The traditional process was used into the 1980's, and certain caveats applied in extraordinary situation; if there was a vacancy in the captaincy for some reason, the player with the most caps assumed the role; if the Captain was not in the starting lineup for a match, they placed the armband on whomever was chosen to be the captain on the pitch, in the dressing room prior to the warmup—a tradition that continues this day.

Regardless of whether the captain is the regular one or selected by the coaches for a particular game, they have certain responsibilities and duties to perform on matchday; they are expected to say a few words at the beginning of the pre-match meal; they stand outside the door of the coach as everyone boards, then enters last and sits in the first row of seats on the side closest to the door; they acknowledge every member of the squad as the they leave the dressing room for the opening walk-out.

Since the beginning of mixed gender squads, there has always been co-captains, one male, one female. This is a legacy of the Under 18 squad that won the SWC on their debut in Abahnfleft; the players were asked to vote by secret ballot for a captain prior to leaving for the tournament, the result being a 'virtual tie' between Sam Harrison & Samantha Bradley. Harrison made a last second decision in the tunnel before the first match to switch the armband to Bradley, and it has remained the tradition that the female co-captain always leads the squad in the first match of a competition.

Caps
Long after the adoption of substitutes in matches, the FAC continued to count all appearances equally; in the NS Sport era, the association has gone back to break down the number of starts & sub appearances for NT record keeping purposes. Players called into training camps who have never appeared in a senior match are referred to as "cappies" and undergo a mild hazing ritual from the most experienced players. Cappies are generally expected to remain silent in the dressing room during training camp unless spoken to (except to talk to other cappies or 'bantams'—those players with fewer than 5 caps). There are several other prohibitions and restrictions, all punishable by contributing to the 'Vickie Box'—an unusually ornamental small wooden chest with a slot in the lid, where 50 cent pieces (Vickies in common vernacular, as they have an image of a young Queen Victoria as their face) are deposited.

In addition, various fines levied against other players for offenses--adjudicated by the "Elk's Court", who are three of the most capped players that are not co-captains—are paid into the same box. The EC is a kangaroo court where infractions such as unforced errors in matches, yellow cards, along with other embarrassing incidents that can be laughed about after the fact are brought forward; there is a "regalia" worn by the judges, who conduct the proceedings in a darkened dressing room or meeting room holding flashlights under their chins. At the conclusion of a international "season", all of the collected money is donated to a charitable purpose, save for a small amount used for the end of year party for the squad.

Players who score their first international goal are celebrated with a shower from the water bottles post match, while those who make their debut as a substitute are given a share of the "captain's purse", which previously was a cut of the gate receipts collected for that match which the captain then divided up among the starting XI; it was usually a 12 way split, with the captain getting double the rest of the team, then each player chipping into a pot for the physio and dressing room & equipment staff. The practice went by the wayside when the NT went to standard player contracts for the entire squad, but was revived in recent times and now is symbolic, the reward being a dollar from each of the starting XI.

Pre-Match Meal
There is an enormous amount of ritual symbolism surrounding the pre-match meal the squad consumes on game day; the timing is established to maximize the nutritional benefits from what is served to the players—heavy carbohydrate intake, along with protein & fat from sources other than red meat.
The BPNT travels with its own kitchen staff, along with supplies of certain staple foods that supplement whatever is available in a particular nation. Bread, pasta and potatoes appear on nearly every meal plan, while a soup made from concentrated chicken stock and egg noodles is traditional on matchdays, along with green peas. The post meal cup of coffee or tea is still observed even by those players who normally don't partake regularly, even if it's only a half cup.
The squad are usually given 75-90 minutes free time after the meal, prior to leaving for the stadium; leftover bread & fruit are generally bagged to be sent along with the squad.

Tactics & Style
The Commonwealth generally lagged behind other nations in the sport at domestic level until the late 1950's, as spectators expected action-filled, high scoring matches; the 2-3-5 system & the W-M formation were the default tactical choices across all levels of the sport even after the beginning of the NT, which exposed the nation to other ways of playing. Passing the ball while advancing upfield quickly had a direct connection to another sport children grew up playing--basketball; in both activities, dribbling was considered selfish or showboating, while passing often to teammates built trust, confidence and common purpose ('our common labor shall bring to us our common wealth', the guiding ethos of the nation).

The 1960's saw a massive shift in thinking about the sport tactically, as the evolution from the fossilized all-out attack mode to a more considered, conventional style swept the professional level; an interim concept used among top pro clubs with the best personnel was the 4-2-4, or more precisely a 4-1-1-4, effectively splitting a team into two five man units.

It wasn't until George Charleston became NT boss in 1982 that Baker Park returned to a faster, short passing game style, along with adapting a high defensive position and utilizing the offside trap; although he was an adherent to a flat back 4, during the later period of his 11 year tenure he began to experiment with a 3 man defensive alignment.

Today the 'BP Way'—although it's not called that—represents a combination of those historical elements, with a high defensive line & the offside trap; high percentage ball control in midfield with constant recycling of possession; and forward pressure on the opposition defense based loosely on ice hockey principles of deep forechecking—cutting off passing options, controlling space, forcing errors—all combined with a high level of technical skill.

Quali NT pool trimmed

Heading into the final five matches of WCQ, the twin squads have been reduced to a single group of 30 in order to determine whio will make the final roster for the World Cup Finals.

GK--1 Danielle Gaines, 21 Zach Johnston, 24 Kelsey Vickers
DEF--3 JC Bartok, 2 Gabby Jordan, 4 Pryna Rasanamira, 5 Kelly O'Connell, 17 Sam Harrison, 18 Jerome Brooks, 19 Alan Wisman, 20 Victor Onikambe
MID--6 Nicki Stone, 11 Travis Grimaldi, 13 Annabeth Westmoreland, 8 Jamari Bozeman, 12 Lorenzo Taborn, 7 Junior Ngoba, 14 Antonio Sotolongo, 15 Anna Porter, 27 Ashley Delgarro, 28 Amy Reynolds, 30 Marcus Nolan
FWD--10 DeAngelo Simmons, 9 Lainey Wadsworth, 16 Ayana West, 22 Reggie Laing, 23 Jessica LeClair, 25 Daniel Pryor, 26 Alicia Craig, 29 Marcus Garvey

the players listed at the beginning of each position should be considered the starters

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL | Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
OOC Information: It is of note that due to RL I am behind on the matchdays, something I hope to correct in the next matchday at most.

WARLOCKS ALMOST CAST ANOTHER SPELL
Thibaea 0-1 New Lusitania

Following the summer break, the Internationals returned in early September sending off one season and welcoming the next. The Selecção had their first match in Thibaea, which made plenty of fans nervous. It was the start of the second leg of qualifying and the opening match of the road in São Miguel had left a lasting memory for the away fans who hoped for a better outcome the second time around. António Lopes would play this one in goal, as Vinagrete, Ferradura and Pedralva were the night’s back three; captain Fernando, Palhagueira, Caldeirão, Guerra and Gama in midfield as Veiga served his final obligatory game out of action. Silveira and Jota up front concluded the starting lineup.
It was a tough match away once more, with Thibaea also knowing that they needed to get some points back to remain in the fight. The first half featured a midfield contest mostly but had some good chances for either side. Caldeirão attempted to keep his form going so he could try and find some sort of maintenance in the National Team. Delafosse was close for the home side but a strong Lopes was on show that day. The one goal came with Daniel Jota’s strike near the second post, from a cross by Gama late in the second half, in the seventieth minute. It was all that was needed, in what was a relatively uninspired game from both teams. Luckily for New Lusitania though, it had gone in their favour.

JERUSELEM MAKE THEIR POINT
New Lusitania 1-1 Jeruselem
@Estádio RSP de Nervião, Sevilha (Att: 53 207)

A warm autumn evening would welcome the Selecção back to their own territory, this time in the South, in Sevilha. The city’s light greeted back Jeruselem. A first win away in Jeruselem, held some belief that there was no reason it couldn’t happen again. Two changes as Palhagueira left to give Luís Miguel of União Leiriense a chance and Horta’s return to the left wing. Jeruselem seemed to have learnt about New Lusitania’s 3-5-2 strategy during the time between their last meeting, adapting their play in a much better fashion and therefore giving New Lusitania plenty to do over the ninety minutes of play ahead. Jeruselem drew first blood still in the first half, courtesy of Kitsumi in a corner as Lopes could all but save it. New Lusitania did equalise the game for the point shortly after – Horta once more with a good cross into Luís Miguel which just touched it in. Now, for many that would be all, goals retold, but this game was far from over with a heated battle to see the second. Silveira put it over the bar and we saw both Jota and Fernando getting plenty of shots palmed away. Jeruselem would also have plenty to bring to the other side of the pitch – the Dallas duo stopped at nothing meaning it was a arduous and long game for Lopes, but he was solid today once more. There was not much splitting the two teams apart and Grilo said at the end of the match that “a point is a fair result enough, either side could have won but y’know, it’s makes things harder because we could have given ourselves more to see if we qualify.” Plenty of course still to go at this point with five matches left to go.

[Eura]

Life in the Seventh Star

Part Nine

One year later

‘Get out of the way, I’m trying to watch!’
‘It’s just a game, Mateo.’
‘No, it is not just a game. Pssht.’ Penelope duly got out of the way, plonked herself down on the floor and looked up inquisitively at her brother. ‘Who’s winning?’
‘Ugh, we are’ he told her with disdain, like it should have been obvious. ‘Oh, go on, yes…yes…! NO! THAT’S A PENALTY!’ Uncle Medoro popped his head around the door, letting in the hearty aroma of chicken soup close to being done. ‘What’s going on, what did I miss?’
‘No fucking way, I can’t believe it!’ Mateo pointed at the television in disbelief for the benefit of his confused uncle. ‘Torjan was through and Parks just cleared him out!’ A replay on the screen showed Aspel’s veteran striker being tackled heavily by David Parks of Foxhampton. Mateo was clearly watching through rose tinted glasses; Parks had got the ball. Medoro shrugged and went back to cooking.

It had been a decent year for the family, all things considered. Natalie had turned eighteen and was suddenly looking like she might get her life together, applying for a course in sociology at the College of Brega. Gia wouldn’t have approved were he around – “they’ll turn you into a blasted communist”, he would have likely said – but then again, this was a very different country to the one he had left behind. Rossana was quietly torn about it, needing the income of her daughter working at home and terrified of her moving across the country, but also glad that she was potentially going to make a success out of her life. Penelope was still overachieving at school herself but at a younger age, and Medoro was getting more work. Mateo was now into his final year of school and doing much better than he had previously, having got his head down and his preliminary exam results on track. His behavioural problems had subsided somewhat.

What would never change about Mateo was his unhealthy obsession with the travails of Aspel football club. ‘Fucking hell, get back!’ It turned out his new friend Arabella was a fan too. A year since their escapade in the ruins, they were the best of friends, giving Natalie and Penelope plenty of fuel to tease Mateo with. Arabella threw her hands up in the air melodramatically as Aspel’s Audioslavian winger Gorka Akutain slid in hard on Theodor Armitage. The Tikariot striker tumbled over at the edge of the penalty area. ‘No way.’
‘That’s such a joke, he was offside by miles!’ Apparently the referee disagreed. After a long pause, he gave a penalty. ‘Oh, whatever!’
‘Bullshit. Bet he’s been paid off.’ Arabella smirked at Mateo’s conspiracy theorising. While Armitage’s teammate Fred Cox lined up the penalty, Medoro came into the room and grabbed the remote control.

‘Sorry Matty, we need to put something else on.’
‘What? Uncle!’ Mateo couldn’t believe it. When did Medoro ever turn off an Aspel game? If he wasn’t busy making lunch for everyone he’d be watching himself. ‘Don’t do that, it’s the last five minutes.’
‘Quiet, I need to put the news on. Blasted thing…’ He shook the remote out of frustration as it failed to work. ‘Penne, have you been taking batteries out of this for one of your projects again?’
‘No, that was just from your razor. And the radio…and maybe the flashlights.’
‘I wish I hadn’t asked.’ Finally the television responded and the news channel appeared. Up on screen appeared the Prime Minister, Amy Yarley – or as any self-respecting Sameban nationalist would say, the Euran Prime Minister. ‘Uncle, why are you putting her on?’
‘Just be quiet alright?’

The first Euran general election to include Sameba since occupation had been held last year. It was a landmark vote, though in this household only Medoro had actually bothered to turn up. Rossana was too politically disengaged to care and Natalie’s politics meant she saw the whole thing as an illegitimate fraud. Much to the frustrations of the Euran authorities, so did many Samebans. Turnout hadn’t even hit 50%. Where they lived the new MP elected was Bruno Pelle, a former dockyard worker turned candidate for Eura’s traditional centre-left Social Party. He would appear in a moment, but only after the clip of Yarley had finished. ’…for many years. I’m a pragmatist. What’s happening is not pragmatic, it’s ideological.’
‘Are you saying you don’t have control of your party, Prime Minister?
‘No, what I’m saying is that what we all need to remember is that democracy in this country relies on co-operation, as our experience in the war demonstrated. Not shutting up shop behind ideological barriers.’

Medoro furrowed his brow. ‘Holy mother...’ Medoro turned around to see the reaction on his uncle’s face, not quite sure what was going on. ‘What is it?’ He felt Arabella’s gaze cutting his way slightly, her anxiety piqued. Her half-Euran status meant she got very uncomfortable any time that politics came up with the family of a dead officer of the former Sameban military dictatorship. Medoro turned back to walk to the kitchen. ‘Leave it on, I’ll be back in a moment. I think she’s facing a leadership challenge.’
‘Wait, why? She won the election a year ago.’ Mateo didn’t know a huge amount about the mechanics of democratic politics despite it being a near decade since the fall of the Sameban regime. But he knew enough to know what “leadership challenge” meant in a democracy; and that unlike the old days in Sameba, it didn’t mean someone being led into a back room and shot.

The idea of Yarley being challenged as leader of the country from within her own party seemed mad. They had been in office for two decades, and she was the emblem of the greatest period in their history – invulnerable in elections, winner of the war for the Eurans, and the person most responsible for Eura’s resurgence following its end. Medoro came back in with food ready on the plates, distracting them all from the question. ‘A number of reasons, none of them making much sense.’
‘Good. I hope the cow rots.’ Natalie was chirping in from the doorway. Arabella looked down at the floor. Once Mateo might have agreed with his sister, but his anti-Euran instincts had been tempered by his time spent with Arabella over the past year or so. He had even started to push back against the casual xenophobia of others. ‘Don’t be stupid, Natalie.’
‘What? She’s an occupier. Occupiers deserve to swing.’ After a pause, Natalie remembered Arabella was in the room. ‘Politicians, obviously. Not, you know, you or your folks.’
‘Thanks.’ Medoro glared at Natalie from across the room for her faux pas. ‘Sit down and eat please.’

As the family gathered around the table, their MP came on the screen. ’Mr Pelle, what do you think of the situation as one of the first Social Party MP’s for a Sameban constituency?’
‘Thanks for having me Colin. Well obviously I’d love nothing more to see my party in power, but the behaviour of Ms Yarley’s MP’s really is quite extraordinary…' Medoro smiled at the sight of the man he’d put his faith in with the first vote of his life. ‘Here’s our guy.’
‘Our guy? Traitor, more like’ scoffed Natalie, ‘all the ones crawling over to Bastion are. What we need is a new system run from here, and by us. Not these suits.’
‘He’s a docker, not some lobbyist.’ Penelope piped up. ‘What’s a lobbyist?’
‘A person who licks Euran arseholes for money.’
‘Natalie!’
‘What? I’m right.’
‘That’s not the point. She’s twelve for goodness sake.’
‘Whatever. When I was twelve I was stealing from those Rushmori Aid crates at the harbour to keep us fed. That’s what you’ve got to do Penne. Be independent, and be decisive.’

Medoro couldn’t object to that at least. The kid had grown up strong, albeit due to circumstances no child should have to live through. Mateo had tuned out of their conversation. He looked up the portrait of his father on the wall, then back at a freeze frame of Yarley on the screen. His face was a picture of resentment. ‘Matty?’ Arabella was gently poking his side.
‘Is your food good?’
‘Yeah, it’s fine.’
‘I can’t believe we’re missing the end of the game.’
‘Matty, you know if there’s another election, we could vote right?’ Mateo hadn’t thought about it, but she was right. Both of them had recently turned sixteen. ‘I suppose. I don’t know if I would though.’
‘Why not?’ He squirmed about in his seat a bit, not sure what to say. ‘I…I’m not sure who I would vote for.’
‘You wouldn’t vote for any Eurans, you mean.’ He averted her gaze deliberately as he thought about it. ‘No, I suppose not.’
‘Well, maybe I should run for office then. Give you someone you can support.’ He laughed, but as long as that devil’s face was staring back at him from the television, he didn’t think voting was for him.

[Netop]

Netop manage to get a point from 15th ranked Zwangzug

Enter Zwangzug, a team ranked 15th in the multiverse, a successful team that should be breezing through Group 5 and has been struggling thus far but are still in a decent position to push for the playoffs or direct qualifications. Enter Netop a team ranked 133rd who have been overachieving in their second cycle and set in 5th of the Group. These two teams would meet in Foster Park in front of around 10,000 fans and would play to a 2-2 draw in a very weird match.

Teddy Riggs our captain who has really shown the necessary leadership qualities struck first for us to give Netop fans some hope that the upset was possible with a header into the upper corner. Jonah McCollins their captain would also put the ball in the back of the net in the first half to tie the match at 1. Nevertheless we had scored against a pot 1 team and were tied at them at halftime a remarkable achievement within itself.

We had played Zwangzug quite well last time but it hadn't been enough to get us any points, this time Netop were hoping to get at least a point from the home fixture. Marcus Hussel came on at halftime to add some reinforcement but all he did was get two yellow cards. The first for a ill-advised tackle that everyone knew was a red card, including Marcus. Marcus got a second yellow for dissent on that same call yet he never once said the call was incorrect, he merely got upset with the referee's decision to mark his number down as 6.28 and not 2π. Hussel gave him two choices, say 2π or write out all of 2π without rounding meaning he would continue to write forever, the referre opted for neither of the above and gave him a red card making sure to write 6.28 once again to the dismay of Hussel.

Despite this Zoe Kinney managed to score a goal for us getting by a defender, and stopping to yell at an insuting fan who has since been banned from all games at Foster Park. Just like that we had a 2-1 lead against Zwangzug, however it was not to last as Gordon Blum prevented us from getting the full three points getting past our starch defense (we could have used you Marcus). Nevertheless it's a quite impressive feat against a team as good as them and even a poor 3-3 draw with Koniglich Wasserstein couldn't damper our spirits.

Group 5                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Savojarna                             13    9   3   1    22    8  +14    30
 2 Abanhfleft                            13    7   4   2    31   21  +10    25
 3 Saint-Domingue                        13    7   2   4    28   18  +10    23
 4 Zwangzug                              13    5   5   3    25   17   +8    20
 5 Netop                                 13    5   5   3    35   31   +4    20
 6 Ancherion                             13    4   6   3    34   30   +4    18
 7 Sharktail                             13    5   2   6    24   27   −3    17
 8 Chartistan                            13    4   1   8    22   25   −3    13
 9 Koniglich Wasserstein                 13    2   4   7    20   33  −13    10
10 Hafamarimet                           13    0   2  11    13   44  −31     2

We are still in this, it's still possible as 2nd place Abanhfleft is only five points ahead of us.

[Vdara]

Nine Out Of Ten

After a humbling 4-2 loss to Xanneria which saw Vdara lose both their unbeaten run and their interim Unofficial World Championship, the reins were handed to Markos Moustakakos, and his task was to return Vdara to winning ways. Væñøœrëñbérghüïś was still in charge of the senior team of course, but it was time for the youngsters to show how it’s done. The youngsters would be playing group minnows North Japan, who they beat 4-1 away at the Hoshihiro National Stadium. Anything less than a win here would send Vdara’s form and confidence into the gutter - which is not what you need when the end of the qualifiers is in sight.

Home Team Dressing Room,
VdarArena

Moustakakos was the goalkeeper in the Xanneria match, and was not best pleased at conceding 4 goals to a team that had been abnormally lacklustre in this group. With Electrum only two points behind, he needed to convey a message to the players - a message to signify that dropping points could spell the end of Vdara’s qualifying campaign.

Moustakakos: ”I’m sure you all watched the match a few days ago, right? Honestly, I can’t quite believe we let those pricks put four goals past us. In fact, I can’t believe I let some of those shots past me! Anyways, that game is in the past now, so all we can do now is look forward to our next matches and get our arses in gear, yeah? I mean, you lot have actually had your arses in gear the whole time, it’s mainly the lads in the senior squad that have been slipping up. If we want qualification, we can’t afford ANY more slip-ups - otherwise we can kiss goodbye to our top two spot and hope we’ll be good enough next season. You don’t want that, do you? Surely not? Good, good. Just making sure. Anyhow, we’re against North Japan, and I’m assuming that you guys still know the drill from the last time we played them. Granted, there is a chance that you might have tried to forget everything about North Japan as soon as you left. To be fair, I tried to do the exact same, but those posters really stick in your mind and bring out the memories... I’ll just assume that you remember what to do, right? 3-2-5, annoy their defenders, yadda yadda yadda. LET’S FUCKING GO!”

The match report is as follows:

1: Here we go! The whistle has been blown, and the match has kicked off!
5: Tantalopoulos has the ball in midfield, and he’s looking around for someone to pass it to. Tantalopoulos spots Petras making a run past the defenders, and he tries to lob it over towards him. His lob succeeds, and Petras is one-on-one with A Chanwook... and Petras blasts it past him! It’s a goal! Vdara’s typical early goal strikes again, as Petras gives Vdara the lead!
8: Ah Shi-Won has the ball at the edge of the box, and he tries to roulette past Trifonas Tolakis... but Tolakis is having none of it, and he tackles the ball out of Ah Shi-Won’s feet.
10: Son Jae-Hwa has the ball out wide, and it looks like he’ll try and cross the ball in towards Hwan Kwang-Ho... but it’s caught by Frangoglou, who clears the ball towards the other end.
19: It’s a free kick to Vdara! Namgung Moon tried to take the ball off of Manolakis, but he tripped him up instead!
20: This free kick is in a good position, and Lambros Tantalopoulos will be the one to take it. Tantalopoulos runs towards the ball and hits it with power... and it’s straight into the top right corner! The midfield maestro strikes again, and the keeper had no chance of saving that! It’s a 2-0 lead for the home side.
29: It’s a corner to North Japan, and it seems as if Somun Sang-Kyu will take it. Somun Samg-Kyu whips the ball into the box... but nobody manages to get a touch on it, and the ball trundles out for a goal kick.
32: Zerveas and Tolakis are trying to keep the ball between themselves at the moment, but Tolakis has accidentally passed the ball straight to Ah Shi-Won, who’s been gifted a chance here! Ah Shi-Won hits the ball with power... and it’s hit the post and went in! North Japan have earned themselves a pathway back into this match, and Trifonas Tolakis has his head in his hands.
41: Manousos Scafididis has the ball at the edge of the box, and he’s going to cross it towards Petras... who smashes the ball over the bar and puts it out for a goal kick.
45: That’s halftime, and Vdara finish the first half with a lead of two goals to one.

Markos Moustakakos would have been pleased with Vdara’s performance so far, had Tolakis not made that crucial mistake in the lead up to Ah Shi-Won’s goal. Moustakakos saw this mistake as a lapse in concentration, and he had to make sure that this sort of thing didn’t happen for the rest of this match.

Moustakakos: ”Lads, lads, lads... you can’t be giving goals away for free like that! I mean, we were on-course for an easy win, and then we only went and gifted them an easy goal! You may as well have wrapped the goal up and handed it to them, for crying out loud! Look, I know that the goal was an honest mistake, but you can’t be letting mistakes happen, especially not ones like that. I’ve been noting a few events like that in recent weeks, honestly - you guys just seem to stop concentrating when you’re more than a goal ahead. You cannot let that happen again, understand? Good, good.”

46: Halftime is over, and the game is back on. The North Japanese seem to have made a few tactical changes, but their lineup remains unchanged, as does the Vdaran lineup.
54: It’s a yellow card for Zaharias Frangoglou, who’s been booked for time wasting. That’s the first yellow card of his career, believe it or not.
63: Alkiviadis Manolakis has received a pass from Tantalopoulos, and he’s charging towards the North Japanese. He’s got past one defender, he’s got past two defenders, and he’s now in space for the shot... which he takes, and scores! Alkiviadis Manolakis has given Vdara a third, and it looks like they’re back in the driving seat.
66: It’s a yellow card for Andrianos Petras, who’s received a card for shoving Kah Daewon to the ground. It looked accidental though, hence why it’s only a yellow card he’s getting.
71: It’s a penalty to North Japan! To Chung-Hun’s shot was blocked by the hand of Stamatios Christakos, and the referee pointed to the spot without hesitation. No booking, however, just a warning.
72: Somun Sang-Kyu steps up to take this penalty, and he looks as calm as a cucumber. Somun Sang-Kyu does a slow run up towards the ball... and he chips the ball down the middle! It’s a goal for North Japan, and Frangoglou’s dive towards the left meant that he had no chance of saving that.
78: Scafididis has snagged the ball from the feet of Gyeong Hyun-Ki, and he immediately takes a shot... which is safely gathered by the hands of A Chanwook.
84: It’s a corner to Vdara, and it looks like Akakios Demotis will be the one to take it. Demotis passes the ball to Muleas, who takes a shot from a tight angle... but it’s curved past A Chanwook and into the net! Themistoklis Muleas has scored a wonderful goal, and it looks like it’ll be the one that finishes this game off.
90: The match is finally over, and the Vdarans are the ones who are victorious! It’s 9 wins in 10 matches for the Vdarans, and their form has seemingly rebounded following that defeat to Xanneria.

VDARA - 4
Andrianos Petras 5’
Lambros Tantalopoulos 20’
Alkiviadis Manolakis 63’
Themistoklis Muleas 84’

NORTH JAPAN - 2
Ah Shi-Won 32’
Somun Sang-Kyu 72’ (P)

The dressing room atmosphere was not as boisterous and lively as it was following the 4-1 win against Baker Park, but there was still a sense of happiness within.

Moustakakos: ”I thought that you lot could have definitely played better today, but you all played a part in today’s victory. The teamwork between you all is impeccable, and I hope that the sheer amount of effort you lot put into these matches never dies down. My only complaint today is that we let too many goals slip past. Now, two goals might not seem too many, but they really do matter. Why do they matter, you ask? I’ll tell you why they matter in two words: goal difference. Now, our goal difference is quite high at the moment, but if we let too many goals in we could see that goal difference stagnate, or even decrease. We can’t let that happen.”

Admittedly, Moustakakos was being a bit pernickety on the goal difference ‘problem’. Vdara’s goal difference was still significantly higher than all the other teams in their group, so he didn’t really need to place as much emphasis on it. Nevertheless, Vdara now only had 5 games left - and these games were must-win if Vdara wanted to hold on to the top spot. While their next few games included some group minnows such as Bonbokh u Piche and Qwakmybush, they also included Hapilopper and Electrum, the latter being the team closest to Vdara in the group. If Vdara failed to get decent results against these two sides, then holding onto a place in the top two would be a much greater ask. Only time will tell, however, and time is a cruel mistress. (Especially if you happen to call ‘time’ by the name ‘Margaret’, but that would be a really weird thing to do.)

[Ethane]

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This. This. Hope you're enjoying the RPing guys, cause I'm enjoying reading them.

Yes, it is cutoff for the WCQ Matchdays 14 and 15!

[Kelssek]

THE FOOTBALL ZINE ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE READING
ALL THE BEST IN FUTURE ENDEAVOURS SINCE 162 F.E.

And then Kelssek lost to Valanora again

Kelssek came out with a high tempo, early pressure, took the lead, and then lost to Valanora again.

This was the fifth straight time Kelssek has lost to Valanora. A lot of teams regularly lose to Valanora, but you have to go back to the previous generation to find that there was a 4-4 draw in the distant past, and of course there was Kelssek’s win in dimension-tearing controversy in their first-ever meeting. But for all the attention the fixture gets from the fans, the Kelssek team probably isn’t in a hurry for the next meeting.

Loïc Maçon-Petrault was trusted by the manager in this big match and answered by scoring one goal and laying on another for Gabriel Lapierre. Colm Ó Tuathail seamlessly carried over his domestic form for Shamrock Cathair with a virtuoso showing on the wing. After switching up the midfield from the return fixture, Rémy Dionne and Ruslan Demetriev couldn’t really shut down Laborious Hawk either. And then Kelssek lost to Valanora again.

Energized by the half time break Thamior Liadon crossed the ball onto the forehead of Seamus Wylten and Kelssek gained confidence from the battle for an equalizer. They seemed to shift into higher gear as they went for the goal that would put them ahead in the Hatire Memorial. And then Kelssek lost to Valanora again.

Was there a real sense of déjà-vu when the score went from 1-0 to Kelssek to 2-1 to Valanora in the space of 15 minutes?

“I mean, on the surface you could say it was a lot like what happened in the first match and we should have learned from it. But that’s a very superficial interpretation I think so I don’t agree with that,” said Ruslan Demetriev after the match.

Yes indeed. It’s almost a footnote to add that Damien Halliger got caught flat-footed as Indra Söderström ran onto a through ball from Zahra Solhaug, clattered the Elfi winger, and Saxstrom converted the penalty that would ensure Kelssek lost to Valanora again.

VALANORA 4 – Ludwig (22’), Hawk (30’), Söderström (57’), Saxstrom (pen. 62’)
KELSSEK 3 – Lapierre (17’), Wylten (49’), Maçon-Petrault (68’)
Poirier, Liadon, Lozic, Halliger, Vinter, Demetriev, Lapierre (Blueman 71’), Ó Tuathail, Dionne (McDonald 62’), Wylten, Maçon-Petrault (Taleb 77’)
Venue: Hatire Memorial, Capri (attendance 57,283)

[Transvolcanic]

World Cup Group 12 rewind [note that this is an RP after 9 matchdays, however I am compromised to continue RPing matchday 7, 8, 9, etc.]_{dang I gotta catch up}
It has been a good first half for a team which was seeing a possible collapse, Teófilo Koralski didn’t end with good results, he never filled the expectancy made by the fans, after 4 matchdays it was impossible to think that Transvolcanic would not end last in the group
As of matchday 9, here’s how the group finished:

Group 12                                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Equestria                              9    7   2   0    27    8  +19    23
 2 Starblaydia                            9    7   1   1    27   12  +15    22
 3 Omerica                                9    5   3   1    23   15   +8    18
 4 Darkmania                              9    4   3   2    23   19   +4    15
 5 Transvolcanic                          9    4   1   4    18   25   −7    13
 6 Beepee                                 9    2   5   2    15   15    0    11
 7 Yuezhou                                9    2   3   4    16   19   −3     9
 8 The Grearish Union                     9    2   2   5    12   19   −7     8
 9 Lorrana                                9    1   1   7    17   24   −7     4
10 Mexi Catcha                            9    0   1   8     5   27  −22     1

Transvolcanic ended in a 4-1-4 mark after 9 matchdays, finishing 5th, an “unexpected” result, above we can see Equestria with a 7-2-0 mark and 23 pts
Starblaydia with a 7-1-1 mark and 22 pts
Omerica with a 5-3-1 and 18 pts
And Darkmania with a 4-3-2 and 15 pts
Below it is regional neighbors Beepee with a 2-5-2 and 11 pts
Yue Zhou with a upsetting 2-3-4 and 9 pts
The Grearish Union with a 2-2-5 and 8 points
Lorrana, a newcomer with a 1-1-7 and only 4 points
And finally, Mexi Catcha... (plays sad violin) with a 0-1-8 and a sad 1 point... that’s tough

Now time for... Transvolcanic’s results:
(Begins singing) Transvolcanic lost 0-3 to Darkmania and then 1-7 to Equestria... then drew 2-2 against Beepee and lost again 0-3 to Omerica, Koralski was sacked and Bautista came to be a hero for the national team, then won 2-3 to Lorrana and 4-2 to Yue Zhou, then the team began to rise from the basement to the mid-table, won 1-3 to Mexi Catcha, won 5-1 to TGU and lost 4-0 to Star (finishes singing)

With this, Transvolcanic has scored... the amazing quantity of 18 goals! And conceded... the depressing quantity of 25 goals! Congratulations! Transvolcanic has a -7 goal difference and so it has huge defensive problems! Not only that but the goalkeepers are the worst you have ever seen in a while! _{pls end my life} ok no

So Transvolcanic scores 1.8 goals per match and concedes 2.5 goals in average! Having a 0.7 difference towards conceding goals!

Let’s see the group! Between all 10 participants, there has been... 183 goals! And in average per match there are... up to 4.06 goals per match! Amazing! So we can say either there are exciting matches or some teams just trash worse teams like expected (becomes highly sad)

Now let’s take a look at the teams of the group:
Starblaydia (7) - Starblaydia, the homeland of one of the most legendary players in history: Simeone Di Bradini, is a top country in NationStates Soccer, that as expected trashed the Cats in home, with a 4-0 result, next step is at the Volkanstadion, the expected result is 0-3 to Starblaydia
Equestria (24) - Equestria, or Equestrian States, is also a top nation in NationStates Soccer, Equestria is known for having served as a WCC president and for its ability in soccer, the expected result is 5-2
Omerica (61) - Omerica, known for being an America but with an O, Omerica is very good, they will be an important opponent, the expected result is 4-1
Darkmania (89) - Darkmania is a tough opponent, but the Soccer Mafia will try to avenge the inaugural match, the expected result is 1-1
Yue Zhou (107) - Yue Zhou, a Chinese good looking country, they suffered during the first half of the qualifiers, but they will rise, we got to be careful, expected result: 2-1
The Grearish Union: TGU has also suffered during the first half, being in a similar rank as us, we think we can win, expected result: 0-2
Us! We started to rise thanks to Bautista, now we gotta win more! We are already eliminated but let’s try to go home with some honor no?
Beepee (280) - known by us for having recently won elections as delegate for our region, they drew against us 2-2, but it will be different, we have to crush them, expected result: 4-0
Mexi Catcha (UR) - Mexi Catcha is last with one point, even if being a newcomer, 1 point is nothing! They gotta catch up if they don’t want to be last, expected result: 4-0
Lorrana (UR) - Lorrana is also a newcomer, but they ran with bad luck the first half, almost always losing by 1 SINGLE GOAL, the expected result: 3-1

After 9 matchdays, the Transvolcanic Federation got into 5th place, if everything continues correctly, the team will end on the same spot, as it is very hard for a team on its second qualifier to win to top nations, like it was seen with Starblaydia and Equestria, which didn’t use any efforts more than walking to trash the team, or Omerica and Darkmania, middle-high nations that won 0-3, simply bad but that is how life works, if you get from the lower part, you will go far... well we guess so...

Now: the Jones awards:
-Biggest humilliation done: Transvolcanic 1-7 Equestria
-Most exciting match (Transvolcanic): Transvolcanic 4-2 Yue Zhou
-best match of group 12: Lorrana 3-4 Darkmania
-Best team: Starblaydia
-Worst team: Mexi Catcha
-Best player of the Transvolcanic Federation: Walter San Marcos
-Best player of group 12 teams: Literally Starblaydia
-FOTY (Fail of the Year): [player] when trying to blow up a ball from its area but instead scoring an own goal
-FakePlayer award: [best player of the world]
-Ignored Hall of Fame: Amazing! No one was ignored!

Next matches: Darkmania, Equestria

Do you wanna know more about us?

AND FIND NOTHING

[South Covello]

Benitez Falls Just Short of Majority, Will Face Tru-D in Shock Runoff

In a shocking result from the First Round of the South Covellan Presidential Election, incumbent Luisa Benitez fell just short of a needed majority, finishing with 49.8%. This is not as nearly as shocking as who came in second - rapper Tru-D, who finished with a mere 16% of the vote, yet will advance to a runoff against Benitez to determine who will be the next President of South Covello. Jordan Wood, aka Carter Redwin wannabee, somehow managed to finish in third but received just 11% of the vote. Harold Underpod and his anti-socialism campaign wound up in fourth with 10%. Crazed foreign policy lunatic Sally McGint finished with 9%, and about 4% were cast for various other also rans such as Busty Daniels, Moses the Pant Ferret, Rodent Supremi, and Outlaw Alcohol Now (a man who changed his name to that after the Board of Elections would not let him print his one policy position on the ballot.) Benitez and Tru-D will hold one more debate head-to-head before the final electoral showdown. Benitez is a heavy favorite to win re-election, but given how crazy this cycle has been, you never know.

Tru-D held a victory party at his 38-story mansion which is modeled after Lord Almighty Gregory's, except everything is made of solid gold, even the bed. Tru-D's wife Sin-D, a stripper and porn star, has described the bed as "quite uncomfotable" but Tru-D doesn't care because it's made of solid gold. Tru-D gave a speech from the roof of his mansion to the crowd assembled on the lawn surrounding it where he said "Woopoo! Yinz voted yinz votes for minz, winz are going to the World Cup, I mean election runoff, have some cabbage flavored donuts!" Tru-D and his wife then tossed actual cabbage flavored donuts, which were quite disgusting as expected, into the audience, before continuing with his speech. "Winz wins! Winz wins! Winz have won second place, which is as you know the best, and first is the worst! We will beat Luisa Benitez and her talking pony in the walk-off, I mean cabbage-off, call it whatever yinz wanna wanna call call maybe it, we gunda gunda win. That's what I'm talking about! Now have some chocolate covered cabbage!"

Tru-D and Sin-D tossed chocolate covered cabbage, which is as disgusting as it sounds, into the audience assembled on the lawn of his mansion before continuing again, saying "Victory shall be ours! We shall have kimchi in every brain, cabbage on every television, every bed will be made of solid gold, there will be diamond rings free with every piece of chicken nuggets, we will change our national anthem to 'God Rest Ye Merry Cocoabos' and there will be no more abortion, guns, or prunes in this country! Also we will rid our capital city of its pesky rodent problem, by which I mean the kangaroos at the national zoo. Don't let anyone tell you kangaroos aren't rodents. My hero Q-Bert knows better! We will panty raid our potato chip ponies into the future! I am the Great and Powerful Tru-D, marrier of my wonderful wife Sin-D, now have some free toilet paper!"

Sin-D throws free solid gold toilet paper into the audience before Tru-D continues. Sadly, one audience member is concussed by the toilet paper but Tru-D refuses to allow an ambulance onto his property to take her away because "Blinky lights out to get us, don't you know that?" He then continued with his (allegedly) prepared remarks. "No more blinky lights here! We will ban all blinky lights whether it's po-po, ambulance, fire hut, or Christmas tree! Because blinky lights is how they keep us poor! We will ban blinky lights and then we will all be rich! Some of you will be rich right now!" Tru-D and Sin-D then throw various libero bills and coins off the roof of their mansion to the crowd on the lawn surrounding it. They chase after the bills but some are injured by the coins. Tru-D still refuses to allow them to receive medical treatment and rants again about "Blinky is bad. No blinky. Stay here away from blinky. Keep blinky away."

He then concludes his speech by saying "Tru-D out!" and throwing his microphone over the wall of his mansion roof, entering an elevator made of solid built into the wall, which is also made of solid gold, and descending to the ground floor to give an autographed pumpkin to a six year-old girl. He then gets into a second solid gold elevator, rides it back up to the roof, and fireworks go off spelling out "Tru-D for President" and also shaped like his face.

Whatever happens next, this is sure to be an interesting and unique run-off election.

[Zwangzug]

The Arlington Moon-Tribune

Kate DiMarini's side has succeeded via the methods of karela and takil, edging past Saint-Domingue in a nervy 1-0 encounter and crushing Abanhfleft 6-3. Netop, who defeated Zwangzug on matchday twelve, beat group leaders Savojarna as well, meaning that the Northlights' lead has been reduced to five points with three games to go, and Zwangzug lead the three-way battle for second place. "This is like watching a train wreck in reverse," said ardent fan Jamin McDoherty, who has never once seen a train wreck in any direction.

The Zwischen Soccer-Specific Stadium is not a place where you would expect to find high-quality defense or indeed goalkeeping, but that was what was on display from Jules Binet and Laurel Tinker-Witt in the first half, the experienced Strathcona International getting a start in lieu of erratic Fedya Troy-Vee. In the second, Edwin Cherenkov-Nguyen avoided Giuseppe Cojuangco and converted a pass from Lissa Crain to put the hosts on the board. Tinker-Witt was tested on a couple more occasions, but it was really Akhil Sibal who led the defense, closing down Nico Pozo and Diego Palacio; Sibal's Energija Chernovets recently triumphed in the Atlantian Oceania Champions' League. "You know that little crinkly part in the middle of an accordion bus?" gesticulated McDoherty. "Yeah. Um, trains probably have one of those too. And it gave us a little breathing room when we pulled that off."

At the Aeroflot Stadium in Rosenpfelblatz, Mezaladbyi, however, attacking forces were on display. This time it was Itzhak Canterbury's turn to start, a decision which looked questionable when the highly-valued Marcus Tabarez scored just six minutes in. Zwangzug would be undeterred, however, and Johan Idmar added to his not-exactly-record pace with an equalizer on fourteen minutes. Riley Kivrin showed some vestige of consistency in dispossessing DeAngelo Levin and scoring on a long chip, and in added time of the first half, Esther Axelrod-Conway headed in a Sophie Munshi free kick. "You know how it says in case of emergency break window?" McDoherty rhetorically mulled. "DiMarini is kind of like the person who glues the window back together. You know. With a powerful glue sprayer thing. Train drivers definitely carry those."

Zwangzug picked up where they left off in the second half, with Idmar scoring shortly after the restart. After James Carmichael's rough "tackle" on Tova Miovuku, she converted the penalty herself and made it 5-1. Whether due to exhaustion or regression to the mean (that again!), the Fleftic side would not be counted out, and captain Kareem Dagen scored around the hour mark. Substitute Mustafa Bensoussan, who plays for the wonderfully-named Bananas FC (no, they're not Bassabook's feeder club), provided fresh legs and a third goal. But Munshi would finish off the slugfest with a goal in minute 89. The dejected Mezaladbyi fans did not riot, but Rosenpfelblatz and (goalkeeper Cardew) Guildernstern's spirits looked dead inside. My editor told me this would be a clever allusion but I think she's full of it.

"Anyway, DiMarini is definitely getting things back on track, which is a sensible metaphor that obviously comes from a reasonable country," said McDoherty. Zwangzug have three matches remaining, against Chartistan, Koniglich Wasserstein, and Hafamarimet, although this sounds less impressive when you remember they mustered two out of nine points against this trio in the first half. Whoever happens to finish second in Group 5 will likely be the worst-seeded of the runners-up; Zwangzug are currently on 26 points as opposed to Chromatika, Kelssek, or Squornshelous' 37). Playoff seeding is a volatile matter, though; is it "better" to face Riena than TJUN-ia, Huayramarca, or any of the many (many) other teams that might wind up in the playoffs?

"Honestly, all things considered, this is a pretty decent position to be in at this stage," evaluated McDoherty. "Kind of like a train that has met with some delays. I mean, there are other highly-ranked teams that are struggling even worse than we are. That's...probably...like, a car crash, by foreign standards? That's totally an inoffensive and appropriate metaphor to use."

[Savigliane]

Port Ember 2 - 4 Savigliane
Starting Lineup: D'Ambrosio; Marchetti, Garcia, Blanco, Vitale (Romano 52'); Vatrican, Giraudo, Toscani (Petit 70'); Coste, Grimaldi, Durand (Barthelemy 61')
Goals: Toscani 11', Vatrican 45+3', Coste 53', Barthelemy 84'

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Savigliane 2 - 0 Mapletish
Starting Lineup: Notari; Marchetti, LeClerc, Blanco, Romano; Vatrican, Giraudo, Petit (Dirac HT); Coste, Squarciafichi (Grimaldi 55'), Durand (Montevecchi 84')
Goals: Durand 36', Grimaldi 60'

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Starting Lineup against Siovanija & Teusland - D'Ambrosio; Marchetti, Garcia, Blanco, Romano; Vatrican, Giraudo, Toscani; Coste, Grimaldi, Durand
Starting Lineup against Natanians & Nosts - D'Ambrosio; Marchetti, Garcia, Blanco, Romano; Vatrican, Giraudo, Toscani; Coste, Grimaldi, Durand

Savigliane, after two strong wins and Pemecutan's upset over Eura, find themselves needing just one point from their final three matches to secure advancement to the playoffs, and with a four-point lead over second-place Siovanija & Teusland, automatic qualification seems surprisingly possible. Of course, it won't be easy - the Swans have yet to play S&T or shockingly third-placed Eura, and while Natanians & Nosts at home offers a brief respite between the two powerhouses, one slip up could send them shooting down the standings. To that extent, although Tlanx-Nulzk Hal has rotated frequently up to this point, he's gone with his best starting eleven for both matches. Any result against the Goldhorns could bring Savigliane that much closer to their first World Cup - while even two losses and a draw (or Eura dropping points in their final three matches) would secure a trip to the playoffs, leaving them one tantalizing step away. There's all to play for with three matches remaining - can the high-flying Saviglianos prove that they're still up to the challenge?

LA GAZETTE DE VILLENEUVE
Ligurie's Premier News Source
CITY GOVERNMENT GREENLIGHTS NSC STADIUM
AMELIE BOUCHER, sports

VILLENEUVE -- The City Government of Villeneuve greenlit a stadium construction project costing hundreds of millions of lira for Villeneuve NSC earlier this morning, giving the capital city’s second club a new home in the historic district of Mont-Gagnon. “We’re very proud of Villeneuve NSC’s tremendous climb to the top flight over the past few years, as well as their recent success in SavigLega,” said city mayor Florent Laframboise, “And hope that this new stadium will bring a new, even better era to the club and lift the spirits of our citizens.”

While foreign fans will likely be more familiar with AC Acqui Bollente, who recently advanced to the quarterfinals of the AOCL, or AS Villeneuve, the rapid formation and ascension of Villeneuve NSC had been one of the most interesting pre-Event stories in Savigliano football. Founded just fourteen years ago, largely as a pet project for construction mogul Joël Bonmaison, Villeneuve NSC started in SavigLega 4 before surging up the ladder (fueled by lavish spending from their owner). After finally reaching SavigLega seven years ago, Bonmaison has spent money on a variety of flashy signings, such as (recently) midfielder Sébastien Petit and forward Devon Bradford. However, Bonmaison’s controversial spending habits have earned the derision from many fans of SavigLega’s poorer clubs, most notably Pietrargenta. Additionally, they have yet to earn him much success, as the side finished a distant sixth place last season, or really assert themselves in the hearts and minds of Villeneuve residents, who largely favor the more established, successful AS Villeneuve.

However, I believe that with construction of the new “Stade Des Citoyens” underway, fans will be more attracted to the team’s project, especially now that Bonmaison has begun to focus more on youth development and renovating the area around the stadium rather than buying expensive stars (although the departure of controversial star Sébastien Petit to CSKA Quebec may dampen that). Whatever the reason, Laframboise is right - this will be a massive shot in the arm to the Villeneuve NSC fanbase, and possibly the start of a new era in the heart of Ligurie. And politically speaking, Laframboise’s approval rating now finds itself at an all-time high, which bodes well for the mayor and for his Une Nation party.

IL MERCURIO
The Conscience of San Ludovico
STADE’S SINISTER SCHEME STUNS SAVIGLIANOS
GIANCARLO GROSSI, politics

VILLENEUVE -- When Villeneuve mayor Florent Laframboise announced his intention to back a costly stadium construction project from a mediocre SavigLega team in a timeless historic center of the city, the entire nation was a little skeptical. After all, Villeneuve NSC is only sixteen years old as a club, and while they’ve managed to climb from the fourth tier all the way to SavigLega, they’ve hardly achieved the level of success necessary to even think about expanding.

So here at Il Mercurio, we’ve been poring through the documentation for you, the citizens, investigating every last detail of what it took to get Laframboise’s approval. And what we found was not only shocking news for the mayor and Villeneuve NSC owner Joël Bonmaison, but reflects poorly on Une Nation and even Ligue-Est as well - at a time when the two parties’ coalition is facing an unprecedented challenge from the likes of Populistas and the Alliance des Sociaux-Démocrates, this kind of exposé could prove fatal.

While it was initially reported that Joël Bonmaison’s club would be paying contractors for the stadium and that they only needed the approval of the city government to actually start construction, we’ve obtained exclusive records indicating that Bonmaison’s cash flow may not allow him to take on such expenditures on his own. While this wouldn’t be an issue at a normal club, Villeneuve NSC’s status as Bonmaison pet club means his spending would’ve been traceable for this type of project.

In fact, what we believe is actually happening (which we’ll expand upon in great detail below) is that Laframboise, with significant pressure from Alphonse Duhamel’s Minister of Sport, Jonathan Martin, is actually using city funds to partially fund the construction - and that said funds are going straight to Bonmaison’s construction companies, who are building their own stadium under the guise of a shell company. Suffice to say, this represents massive corruption within the Villeneuve city government as well as both Une Nation and Duhamel’s ruling Ligue-Est party.

Just a few weeks out from the election, a scandal of this nature threatens to permanently sink the disgraceful Ligue-Est - Une Nation coalition that has led ever since the election of Achille Canaveri what feels like so long ago. While the coalition promised unity and moderation for the people, since the Event, it appears that they’ve instead favored their own. With the coalition striking down Populistas and ASD bills to expand healthcare funding and establish a post-Event universal basic income, throwing millions of lira into a construction mogul’s attempt to replace a historic district of Villeneuve with a cookie-cutter football stadium is deeply hypocritical and disturbing for all Saviglianos. While it’s too early to project the election, we hope that this will be the last disgraceful act of a lame-duck coalition - and not the plunge into five more years of oligarchy…

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[Tequilo]

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KIPOLALIA
The Auto-Imitation Disease

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Part 1 - in which the Tequilo IAC squad catch The Kip
Part 2 - in which the infected are sent to isolation camp
Part 3 - in which hope of a quick end to the virus fades with news of Long Kip
Part 4 - in which the Kipolalia Five face extra time in isolation
Part 5 - in which a young star drowns in the pool

Part 6/7: Shake-Up at La Unión

“Dat mem meh n mah bred used ta share will take choo ta places choo nevah expected dis nt ta visit” said Diego Nores to The Commission, at the public inquiry into the Tequilo FA’s - El Unión de Pitxi’s - handling of the Kipolalia affair. There was an air of amusement tinged with guilt; after all, Esâ Neá had drowned whilst talking this kind of nonsense and imagining he was a crack-addled dip-dop gangsta who was imagining he was turning into a dolphin. The chief commissioner of the inquiry, an ancient and hard-eyed woman who could peel the truth out of just about any sour lemon, Congresswoman Donna Maw, cast about her to quell any thought of mockery, and proceeded to calm Diego’s nerves almost by commanding it so,

“Señor Nores, fear not to speak honestly and directly if you can, to help us understand what happened to you… but if you cannot, because this terrible disease disrupts your thinking, well, that is perfectly fine with me also. I know that you are doing your best here.”

“Yo stole fig tenda sees ta hah chil,”

This time, nobody dared even to think of amusement, let alone express it in any way most subtle.

“Skraight.”

The Congresista smiled at Diego, genuinely and without reservation; such a smile from so powerful a woman that its bequeathing upon him was like a knighthood, “I understand, Señor Nores. We will do right by you; and by your friends.”

In the auditorium, a clutch of senior Unión officials felt their gut turn to ice. The same metaphoric sword with which she had beknighted poor Diego would undoubtedly be sharpened to behead some of them.

§

The handling of the Kipolalia Affair was a national scandal. The Commission found that Los Pitxileros, The Footballers, should never have flown to Gibberish in the first place, on internal advice from experts in the field who had first hand experience of the widespread auto-imitation disease in that country. Once there, local fixers with poor understanding of epidemiology were employed to assist the team in negotiating the logistics of the Independent Associations Championship tournament, and continually gave advice that was counter to good understanding of how to conduct oneself in a virulent copycat environment. The first infectious outbreak in the camp was not recognised quickly enough, based on ill-informed team management, and then - most critically of all - when the outbreak was confirmed, the Unión’s decision to carry on regardless was the worst mistake they could possibly have made.

The reputation of the much-loved head of El Unión, Señor Lepe, had taken a battering; he was characterised in the media as a famous elderly chef put in charge of a nation’s food production - promoted significantly far above his ability - he quickly resigned, sparking a future election to run football in Tequilo. His chief influencer, the Mustardo football coach Dik ten Beuenk, was fired on the spot as the man who made the call to keep the team in Gibber City when their comprehension was turning to mulch. He literally made the phone call to Isaac Martí to advise him so. Isaac, head coach of the senior national team and director of the junior teams from the under-23s down, on the ground at the IAC tournament, could see the writing on the wall and jumped before he was pushed. He’s gone off to manage a team that welcomes a bit of controversy to keep them interesting - sleeping giants Real Gardaresso. To some that seemed unfair reward for his part in a scandal that nearly brought down football and national health security; to others, he was just another fall guy in the whole scandalous mess.

In the course of the inquiry it emerged that someone in the National Emergency Incident Room had proposed shooting down the plane that was bringing the team back to Tequilo, a divulgence that caused national outrage and even some rioting in the streets. Admiral Tobaras of the Allied States Armada was pilloried in the press and in the cantinas of Tequilo, identified as the man who wanted to launch an anti-aircraft missile at the national team in mid-flight - though he would neither confirm nor deny the accusation.

On the matter of the two Long Kip sufferers, Luka Entenza and Tomás Alemán, still being rehabilitated at Camp Kippo where Esâ Neá had drowned, there was a huge swell of sympathy mixed with a righteous furore. The government agreed to drastically upgrade the resort befitting of national heroes infected in service to their country, whilst tripling the already exceedingly generous compensation paid to all 2,000 or so residents of Isla Palnoa, effectively making each of them a millionaire all too willing to leave the island behind and start a new life in a fancy place for rich folks like, say, Gardaresso Hills.

The scandal went all the way to the top - that much was clear - though the super-tough head of The Commission, Congresista Donna Maw, classified some of the most highly disruptive details of the inquiry in an effort to apparently protect the Government and in particular the office of El Presidente, ‘Tzalti’ Larrosa.

In a private and secure antichamber at the back of the government building in Tapalupé City where the controversial and shocking Commission To Conduct Inquiry Into The Kipolalia Affair had been heard, El Presidente met with the ancient congresswoman and some of his own key advisors; including those senior military figures who had been present in the Emergency Incident Room back when the news first came in of a Kip Threat.

“Just keep schtum, Admiral,” said the Leader, “and this will all blow over. We’ll kick the Unión in the cojones a bit, sack anyone who puts their head above the parapet and let them take the fall for this. Doctor Nacao - how is the lab work going on replication?”

Chief Scientific Advisor Doctor Nacao, who had first identified the potential applications of a successfully replicated Kipolalia virus and spent years engineering a plausible way to import the auto-imitation disease from Gibberish, seemed content enough. “Patients 4 and 5 at La Medida are provisioning nicely; and we have a new cohort of infections now at Iso Camp 19. Soon Tequilo will have enough of The Kip under our control to drown our enemies in nonsense, El Presidente!”

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - World Cup qualification moves toward the crunch! Version 87 is going to be one of the most storied in history… and we've got your back for all the latest in the biggest and best competition in the multiverse: let the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Daily take the strain - all your favourite bits, in brief. All this week: Track & Trace… whatever happened to The Class of 72? Rúi de Las Rovas… season three of the famous old comic book strip rebooted. Logistics Report... how to manage a touring football team without picking up any weird viral infections; and of course, we have mail! You can write in too, if you want to - address your fascinating texts to spamcatcher@gola.teq or drop a letter in the mail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé¹ But first, El Copametro… how are Los Pitxileros making out in the qualification campaign trail?

TIKKED OFF

TIKARIOT 2-1 TEQUILO HT: 1-1

Location: @ unknown location
Attendance: A bunch of shadows and the Ultra-Mariachi Band with torches (8 sombreros+dog)
Scorers: Huachalla (OG) 2' Rory McNair 88' | Huracan 34' Assists: Nicholas van Haar 88' | Huachalla 34'
Sent Off: Patrick Zambo (3 match ban)
Booked: Romain Chatelet, James Coronello, Rory McNair | Noxochinoch, Eolo Sorazar
Injured: Huracan (severity 4/20)
Tequilo Line-Up: Kai Sidiki (VC) | Patrick Zambo, Antton Machinena, Huracan (sub: Noxochinoch), Huachalla (sub: Eolo Sorazar) | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Niño Pinto, Urbano Noboa | Tlacolotl, Ecuador (sub: Blêxu)
Player of the Match: Romain Chatelet (Tikariot) (Tequilo MVP: Urbano Noboa)

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LOMBARDI LESSONS LEAVE LOS PITXILEROS POINTLESS

NEWMANISTAN 4-2 TEQUILO HT: 3-0

Location: @ @ The Jungle, Loudon, Newmanistan
Attendance: 65,991 LOUDMOUTHS and the Ultra-Mariachi Band with ear defenders (8 sombreros+dog)
Scorers: Allister Levy 2' Paul Lombardi 16' 40' 53' (pen.) | Vilca Hualla 57' Tutayan 62' Assists: Paul Lombardi 2' Garrett Sarniak 40' | Tutayan 57' Ecuador 62'
Booked: Noxochinoch (1 match ban)
Injured: Niño Pinto (4/20) Eolo Sorazar (10/20)
Tequilo Line-Up: Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Blêxu, Antton Machinena, Noxochinoch, Eolo Sorazar (sub: José Tavia) | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C) (sub: Isidoro Artechevarria), Niño Pinto (sub: Çenturion), Tutayan | Tlacolotl, Ecuador
Player of the Match: Paul Lomobardi (Newmanistan) (Tequilo MVP: Eolo Sorazar)

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The Agave-Blues stand on the brink of elimination after two key defeats when only two wins would likely have been good enough to keep them in the running, leaving coach Ramiro Paredo facing the worst showing in World Cup qualifying so far and surely his job on the line. Bad starts in both matches saw Tequilo behind inside two minutes, the first an own goal from Huachalla in Tikariot, the second an Allister Levy tap-in from Paul Lombardi's neat set up as the latter began his dismantling of Los Pitxileros - following his assist with the perfect hattrick of header, left foot volley, and right foot penalty to tear the visitors to pieces. Almost single-handedly. The damage was really done in the first game against Tikariot, where, after the early set back, defender Huracan dragged the Agave-Blues back into the game before half time. Tequilo failed to push on from there until the last ten minutes, knowing a draw was not enough - and in piling forward, they were caught with the suckerpunch from Rory McNair with two minutes to go, and no way to come back from that.

It was a dispirited team that went to The Jungle in Loudon to face an in-form Newmanistan themselves fighting to stay in the hunt for a qualification spot, given the outstanding cycle Tikariot are having and of course Vilita coming good from an early stall to lead the way. Roared on by a wild home crowd, The Rockets - and Lombardi in particular - ran riot, handing Tequilo perhaps the most solid trouncing over the first hour of the game that they have ever suffered. 4-0 down after 53 minutes, the Agave-Blues were not only as good as finished in qualifying, but were heading for an humiliating thrashing. Bringing on talismanic young attacking midfielder Çenturion for the injured Niño Pinto immediately had a morale-boosting effect and captain Vilca Hualla quickly pulled one back as the home side eased their foot off the pedal a little. The captain was soon replaced by battling winger Isidoro Artechevarria, who added extra mettle in the midfield, and a quick second goal from Tutayan made the scoreline more respectable. Any hope of a comeback was unfounded - Newmanistan were simply too good to allow that - but, in the end, it wasn't the complete thrashing it had been shaping up to become. Whether it will save coach Paredo his job remains to be seen.

Three eminently winnable ties follow, but the chance of overhauling two of the top three even with three wins seems highly unlikely now. At the offices of La Unión (that's the FA to you and me) they will be checking the postbag and hoping for an invitation to the Cup of Harmony.

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TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY
Competition goals: Tlacolotl (10) Çenturion (5) Ecuador, Ricardo Bailén (4) Vilca Hualla (3) Huracan, Roxelio Toran (2) Xaime Medal, Eolo Sorazar, José Tavia, Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Huachalla, Aleixo Claver, Tutayan (1)
Competition assists: Çenturion (5) Alexandro Calvoecheaga (4) Ecuador (3) Vilca Hualla, Tlacolotl, Ricardo Bailén (2) Ixtub Tün, Huracan, Aleixo Claver, Roxelio Toran, Niño Pinto, Huachalla, Tutayan (1)
Competition PoMs: Tlacolotl (4) Eolo Sorazar (3) Çenturion (2) Huachalla, Blêxu, Huracan, Antton Machinena, Tutayan, Urbano Noboa (1)
Competition cards: Roxelio Toran, Patrick Zambo (1 red card) Ecuador (2 yellows, 1 red) Vilca Hualla, Ixtub Tün, Huachalla, Çenturion, Alexandro Calvoecheaga (3 yellows) Blêxu, Noxochinoch (2 yellows) Huracan, Tol Chicote, Ricardo Bailén, Jatsu Cañaverri, Niño Pinto, Antton Machinena, Jaïr Iscla, Emmanuel París, Tlacolotl, Pedro Rôa, Ostando Bertendona, Aleixo Claver, Kai Sidiki, Eolo Sorazar (1 yellow)

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Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Hebitaka @ Nido de Cuervo, La Conon, Maranco
Ocar Bienvenida (VC) | Blêxu, Antton Machinena, Tol Chicote, José Tavia | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Çenturion, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Ecuador

Probable Line-Up for TEQUILO @ Widaya @ unpublished location
Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Blêxu, Antton Machinena, Huracan, José Tavia | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Çenturion, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
The things that are really inflaming your lips right now

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Good morning everyone. We have letters!

Goodness me, but the mail bag is bulging - we could stop posting stories about The Kip and Ooóoos Skueri and match reports entirely and still fill a whole magazine up just with your letters. Which leads us neatly into the rage provoked by Ploughman Ivor Tedium (“Cup of Disharmony more like!” - Saturday’s letters) and this letter from Llàzaro Baró of Ciura: “Ivor may mock, but this debate really boils down to more eggs versus better eggs in my opinion [would that be hard or soft-boiled, Llàzaro?! - chortle; Ed.] and I’m definitely a better eggs sort of chap - whereas it is clear that the Daily - and I have said this before (“I feel I must write to you” - Letters, five years ago) - is clearly after the ‘more eggs’ market with it’s inflated word counts and preposterous letter pages.”

Harsh, Llàzaro; and we really aren’t sure where you are going with this. We should try to get back to the football as the eggs debate probably belongs in the rugby threads. Fortunately, regular correspondent Rùben Curto of Chanco Cóndor is back to remind us to stay on topic. He writes: “Getting back to the football, I was stunned to see how well Valanora are doing in qualifying. Now I know that shouldn’t really be a shock to anyone, but I was completely convinced they had quit the whole damned thing. Or was that a figment of my machinations?”

I’m not sure about all that, Rùben, it sounds a bit far-fetched. You’ll be telling me they’ve got a 750-year old midfielder next.

The Corona Beer Virus Controversy rumbles on, as our cartoon writers tell the story of an apocalyptical virus ruining football in the fantasy world of Rúi de los Blackburn Rovers, Everton, St. Etienne, and Miami Tango FC. Some think, with the Kipolalia outbreak in real life, it is the wrong time to imagine a pretend disease that destroys the fabric of society; while others disagree. García de Corcoles of La Playa, Antivador texted in: “this is just another form of cultural imperialism from the bastard Ao-centric world - no-one minded the ‘Mali War’ story cycle in Rúi that coincided with the War in Volringiansteinholschigutten because nobody cared about Balongwe. But when The Kip breaks out in Tequilo, suddenly everyone gets all sensitive about - and let’s be honest, how laughable - Coronavirus?!”

On a happier note, we have presidential mail!

Don Viento of Usorno (“Can you help?” - last month’d letters) seems to have taken exception to our interpretation of recent events in which we declared he’s not Presidente Viento, he’s just good old Donny. He twitters: “Don’t call me Donny! I’ll always be El Presidente. Fact.”

OK then, Donny. Finally, we have some concrete news from the ongoing search for missing goalkeeper García de Corcoles, last certified whereabouts clinging to a broken raft crashing down a white-water gully somewhere in The Appalachian Nation seven years ago and probably dead as Búa’s butler, but allegedly seen all over the multiverse ever since, including at home in Tequilo, somewhere in Antivador state. Our intern right here at the Daily, Juan-Line Juateguay, yells across the office: “Holy Wights! We have a text message from García de Corcoles!”

Well, we’ll need to verify that, thanks anyway, Juan-Line.

If you have spotted García, want to disagree with our correspondents or just like to share your opinion on the pitxi, please drop us a line at Letters To The Editor, spamcatcher@gola.teq or slowmail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé.¹.

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ON THE ROAD WITH...
The Team Chef

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Everybody knows that if you eat at a Starblaydi curry house you’re going to get the neighbourhood dog in your tikka masala. But how safe is a Tikariot pizza hut or a fish dish in Alikki-Corra? Can you trust your local Khytonya taco bar and is it true what they say about that Newmanistani rocket in your side salad?

The answers in no particular order, according to Tequilo national team chef Mimnermo Solo, are not likely, not very, not at all and that’s not the half of it…

In the penultimate entry of our series on the logistics team that keep Los Pitxileros playing, we catch up with 3-star Nichelim Gourmetologist Chef Solo, who travels everywhere with the team to advise what to eat, when and where to eat it; and when in Zeta Reka, how to survive without eating anything at all that they try to pass off as ‘food’. Usually, this means doing it himself - and as everyone knows, you can’t beat Chef Solo for a nutritious and wholesome flan.

Your secret for a successful team meal?

“Unless we are celebrating the satisfactory ending to a successful campaign, it has to be light, full of protein, and delivered on schedule according to the nutritional plan so that it can be digested and processed in good order and not leave a player short on the field. Nuts, pulses, and a little oily fish will do the trick. But it’s not all about nutrition, it’s about team psychology too - so you never put Xaime Medal at the top of the table or he will bore everyone to death.”

Worst place in the multiverse to eat?

“Well of course you never eat in Ao without knowing where the closest toilet is, that’s a given; and we’ll be mighty challenged if we end up having to eat in either Ethane or Taeshan, wights help us; but I should think in my time with the national team, that impromptu stopover at the Roadkill Café in the Appalachian Nation during the Baptism of Fire, and Mateo Tafalla’s flattened badger patty has got to rank pretty highly.”

But it’s not all foreign muck out there though, is it? Do you have any recommendations from the ‘multiversal food isle’ at the local Rapídomerc?

“You can’t go wrong with a juicy leg of genuine Mrii satyr basted in a garlic and chilli sauce with just a hint of orange oil and a sprig of dried triffid ivy.”

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NEXT UP
What's coming next with GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!!

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In the next edition of GOLa Extra, we take our final look back at the Kipolalia Crisis with a 'what happens now?' epilogue; PLUS! - in the Daily edition look out for more adventures of fictional comic book legend Rúi de Los Rovas, now into his 140s and running the family agency as he tries to find a new home for 'Lionel Messi', the world's greatest ever tax dodger; there will be our regular letters feature; we talk to more of the logistics team in the World Cup squad about how to manage a campaign of double-matchdays; and of course we'll keep you bang up to date with the progress of Los Pitxileros in World Cup 87...

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[1]Or TG Tequilo and we'll be sure to publish you in the next edition of the DAILY!

[Tumbra]

The 2021 Election Is Around The Corner. Here's How Things Stand.

The 2021 Federal Elections are due to be called next week. Labour are comfortably ahead, but the Liberals hope to do some catching-up during the campaign.

Prime Minister Kenneth Everett (left) will go up against Leader of the Opposition Anne Monteiro (right) in his bid for a second term.

STRATON - With federal elections due in April, Prime Minister Kenneth Everett is expected to dissolve Parliament by going to the President on Monday, The election is set to be held on April 9, a Friday, which will be declared a federal holiday. Election fever has been slowly spreading over Tumbra in the past few months, and when the dissolution is expected to be announced on 1 February, Monday.

The election - the 47th such election since the founding of the Republic - will see approximately 88 million people go to the polls to elect 650 representatives to the new House of Representatives. Any party or coalition of parties requires 326 seats to win the election, and ensure their candidate is elected as Prime Minister when Parliament reconvenes on 16 April.

Preparations for campaigns by all six parties represented in Parliament have already started, with an un-named source in the Labour party remarking that the election was "looking remarkably good, and the PM has already decided the angle to take. All that needs to happen now is the dissolution, and the campaign can officially begin."

Labour's prospects have been looking excellent, with most opinion polls giving them a healthy lead over the opposition Liberal/National coalition. Most pundits, including the election prediction website electoralcalculus.net, have given Labour a majority of about 60 seats should the election be held tomorrow, based on exit polls. This means that the Liberals, instead of gaining seats, would instead lose more seats at the election - perhaps a foregone conclusion, given leadership turmoil within the Liberal caucus, and the rise of the Conservatives. While senior Liberals have looked at the polls, privately they have not given up yet, and intend to stake everything on the election campaign, hoping that Monteiro - a relative middle-of-the-road and inoffensive candidate, who served as Education Minister in the Hayes administration - can bring the charismatic Everett down to earth, and hopefully deny them a majority.

Below is a primer to the six parties contesting in the election, and what they stand for.

Labour Party
House of Representatives: 339/650
Senate: 90/205
State Parliaments: 1004/2250

The Labour Party is a major centre-left political party in Tumbra. It, along with the centre-right Liberal Alliance, has dominated Tumbran politics since 1882. It has provided twelve prime ministers of Tumbra across nine administrations and has often been described as Tumbra’s “natural governing party”. The current Prime Minister, Kenneth Everett, comes from the Labour Party and has been head of the Everett government since their election win in 2017. He currently leads a majority government in the House of Representatives. Labour also controls fourteen of the twenty-five provincial governments, and has a plurality in the Senate.

Often described as an amalgamation of social democrats, democratic socialists and trade unions of Tumbra, the party’s coalition has seen it win 23 of the 46 federal elections. Its main voter base is the working class, those living in urban areas, and minorities.

Founded in 1871 by revolutionary leader Benjamin Washington, Labour originally espoused a more radical route, embracing socialism, before moderating its approach under the leadership of Leonard Everett, allowing it to win government in 1882. Since then, Labour has been focused more on pragmatism; its signature achievements include promulgating the National Insurance in 1933, the National Endowment in 1947 and the National Health Service in 1965. Initially formed as a means for the urban poor to be represented in Parliament, it later co-opted the trade union movement but stopped short of committing to “socialism” proper, only committing to nationalisation of Tumbran industry. Under the governments of Alistair Everett (1942-1951) and Malcolm Haywood (1963-1979), multiple industries were nationalised, including the nascent telecommunications industry; the centralisation of rail services, and shipping lines.

The party has historically been in favour of government intervention in the economy, both to protect workers and to ensure that it produces results close to its theoretical potential; as such the party has always been in favour of a welfare state. After the Haywood administration, the party began to embrace more free-market policies; the conflict between the modernisers and the more traditional social democratic wing of the party has come to the forefront in modern times.

The Leader: Kenneth Everett

Leader of the Opposition from 2013-2017 and Prime Minister since, Kenneth Everett's meteoric rise within the Labour Party from when he first became an MP in the 2001 federal election can be partly attributed to his charisma and natural political skill, and partly because of his name. The Everett family is political royalty in Tumbra - they have provided three Prime Ministers, and have been amongst the most successful politicians from their base in Timbourne. The 53-year-old is no different, having risen quickly to a junior ministership in 2006, before serving as Minister for Transport from 2007 till 2009 in the Randall administration. Everett sees himself as on the right of the party, being more amenable to a market-based economy than others in his party. Achievements in his first term were scant until he managed to pull Tumbra out of the late 2018/early 2019 recession by green-lighting a huge infrastructure program that seeks to rebuild some of Tumbra's old infrastructure. A relatively scandal-free term and unity in the Cabinet - perhaps warranted, granted their slender majority - has put him in the driving seat as the economy continues its rebound and he utilises his natural charisma.

Prospects

Labour's task this election is defence - a 1.7% swing against the Government would lose them their majority. However, Everett has been looking towards attacking the Liberal and Moderate parties, by sweeping up suburban seats that were held by the Liberals in 2017, against the tide of red. Seats like Hesham Northwoods and Thomson North West - both of which require a 1.1% swing to flip - along with Havelock Central, which will fall on a 1.9% swing - are key to this strategy. Should seats like Hesham Paiyoh (2.6%), Hesham Westwich (3.4%) and Thomson Central (4.4%) fall on election night, then Everett will have completed a 10% swing against the Liberal/National coalition in just eight years.

Liberal Alliance
House of Representatives: 241/650
Senate: 83/205
State Parliaments: 988/2250

The Liberal Alliance is a centre-right political alliance in Tumbra; it currently has two constituent parties. Formed in 1906 to contest that year’s federal elections as an alliance between the Liberals and the Christian Democratic Alliance; it has since grown to encompass the entirety of the centre-right, and incorporated the National Party in 1935.

The Union currently forms the Opposition to the government, and is currently led by Anne Monteiro, who has concurrently led the Liberal Party since 2018. The two parties in the Coalition have different voter bases - the Liberals appeal more to the suburban middle class and business owners, while the Nationals appeal more to those living in rural areas and those involved in agriculture. The two parties remain organisationally separate, but cooperate in different ways and campaign as a united front during federal elections and run joint Senate tickets. The leader of the Union is, by convention, the leader of the Liberal Party; and serves as Prime Minister in periods of government; the leader of the National Party becomes Deputy Prime Minister, unless the Union is in coalition with another party.

The Leader - Anne Monteiro

Monteiro has been the leader of the Alliance since 2018, when she defeated Geoffrey Osbourne in a leadership spill after the party saw no signs of rebounding after their 2017 election loss. An MP since 1996, representing the seat of Barker in Napier, she served in the Roscoe and Hayes administrations as the Minister for Health, and later the Minister for Labour. Since then, however, the mild-mannered conservative has struggled to make an impact, particularly as the economy has strengthened and her party comes under attack not just from Labour, but also from the right, in the form of the revitalised Conservative Party. Time will tell whether the campaign will be enough to revitalise her flagging fortunes. Rumours that she was going to face a spill in late 2020 did not bode well for party unity, though she later quashed all rumours.

Prospects

The Alliance's task is simple. It needs to gain 14 seats to deny Labour a majority, 51 to become the largest single faction in the House and 85 to gain a majority outright, though this would leave them with an unteneable majority of 2. A swing of a hundred seats, then, would be required to give the Coalition a safe majority, and many in the party also recognise the futility of this effort. Several local parties have also begun fundraising aggressively for defending their seats, with Shadow Urban Development Minister John Murray looking to save his political career. His seat - Guillemard North in Napier - requires a 0.4% swing to flip, the most vulnerable of any Alliance MP. Similarly vulnerable politicians include Shadow Labour Minister Lawrence Carlyle in Dalkeith (3.1%), Shadow Commerce Minister Adam Reed in Rutherford (3.1%), and Shadow Environment Minister Charles Baker in Eden, Hamilton (2.8%).

Liberal Party
House of Representatives: 216/241
Senate: 77/83
State Parliaments: 936/988

The Liberal Party is a major centre-right political party in Tumbra, and the oldest continually surviving political party in Tumbra. Formed in 1864 to contest the first federal election, the party initially called for an extremely federated country, and called for reforms to the Constitution to change the system of governance to a presidential system. Since then, however, it has become more socially conservative and promotes economic liberalism, which is typically seen to be supportive of smaller governments and less market intervention. A certain subset of the party is also markedly more nationalist and isolationist. The party’s current leader is Anne Monteiro, who also serves as Leader of the Opposition; she was first elected to this position in 2018, after the leadership spill that occurred that year.

Since 1882, it and its centre-left counterpart, the Labour Party, have provided all the governments that have led Tumbra. It has provided thirteen prime ministers across nine administrations, and is the dominant party in the Liberal Alliance. The party has won 19 federal elections; 14 of them as part of the Union. In 2008, the Liberal Party absorbed the Christian Democratic Alliance in preparation for the 2009 federal elections, which it won.

Ideologically, it has been described as conservative, or promoting a liberal brand of conservatism; certain sections of the party have been described as classical liberal. The party has often been in favour of shrinking the federal government and allowing the state governments to make more policy decisions, especially with regards to education and welfare; but in general the party has been also (perhaps derogatively) described as anti-socialist. The party’s major achievements have primarily been in foreign affairs, though they have taken credit for the liberalisation of the Tumbran economy in the 1980s, precipitating an economic boom that occurred then.

National Party
House of Representatives: 25/241
Senate: 6/83
State Parliaments: 52/988

The junior party in the Liberal Alliance, the National Party is a centre-right to right-wing party in Tumbra that primarily focuses on agricultural issues. Formed in 1915 in the largely rural province of Clearmont, similar unaffiliated parties sprung up in Hamilton, before it organised itself federally in 1935. The Nationals have always advocated for more assistance for Tumbran farmers and those living in rural areas; socially it has always been described as conservative. The party has always been strongest in those two states; it was the senior party in the Hamilton Liberal Alliance from 1926 till 1993; and the Clearmont Liberal Alliance until 1989. The party is currently organised in every region of Tumbra with the exception of the West, and Grantfeldt, for that was the original headquarters of the Christian Democratic Alliance before they merged into the Liberals in 2008.

Unlike most federal parties, familial relations have a prominent place in the National Party; the two most prominent are the Beaumont and the Hinchcliffe families. The current leader of the National Party is Jordan Beaumont, who has led the party since 2017.

Moderate Party
House of Representatives: 37/650
Senate: 16/205
State Parliaments: 136/2250

The Moderate Party, as its name suggests, is the main gathering place for the centre in Tumbra. While its strength has fluctuated throughout the years, it has remained as the third largest faction in Parliament since it entered Parliament in 1910. The party currently has 28 representatives in the House, and has been led by Hannah Slater since 2017.

Positioned in the centre of Tumbran politics, the party can generally be split into two wings - one on the left, that mainly focuses on civil rights, liberties, and constitutional reform to establish proportional representation, and one on the right, which mainly focuses on tax cuts, economic freedom and smaller government. Leaders throughout the years have brought different approaches to the party, but the most famous description of it comes from its most successful leader - Johan Dawson of the 1970s - which described the party as the “party of the radical centre.” The party is generally seen as an internationalist party, promoting further integration overseas, and some members also express a more pragmatist bent in their politics.

Because of its strength compared to other minor parties in the Tumbran Federal Parliament, it has often been called the kingmakers of Tumbran politics, as the party they choose to ally with more often than not forms the government, and the withdrawal of its support can prove fatal to it. The Moderates have formed part of the government after fourteen elections, most recently from 2013 to 2017 when they supported the People’s Civic Union government of Darren Hayes after he lost his majority in that year’s federal election. In return, the party gets either several government posts or major policy concessions.

The party has no strong support base, but its support is spread throughout the country, which disadvantages it when it comes to a constituency based system such as the one in Tumbra. As such, one of its policies is to call for a switch to either mixed-member proportional voting (MMP) or outright party-list proportional representation, as in the Senate.

The Leader - Hannah Slater

A former state legislator, Ms. Slater, 44, entered federal politics in 2009, and became Moderate leader in 2017. Before she entered politics, she was well known for her advocacy for gay rights in Tumbra, and came out in 2007. Politically, she trends to the left wing of the party, focusing her party on social justice issues and less on the economy, which proved to be fatal once the Moderates were drowned out in the recession talk. While she represents the safest Moderate seat in the country - Couno Ports (11.9%) - many of her colleagues are not as well defended, and fear a possible red wave. Having flown under the radar for much of her tenure, if she loses more than ten seats in April, her position might be under threat.

Prospects

Far and few. 37 seats in 2017 was largely seen as a high-water mark for the party - the highest number of seats since the 1928 election, when they held 43 - and now their efforts are entirely focused on defending the ultra-vulnerable seats, like Corcorran (1.0%), Fontwell South East (1.3%), Oakton City (2.0%) and Straton Hoven (2.0%). Opportunities for attack are scarce, and even though the party is running candidates in all 650 seats, they are expected to see a reduction in their first-preference votes in April.

Green Party
House of Representatives: 18/650
Senate: 10/205
State Parliaments: 64/2250

The Green Party of Tumbra is a green, left-wing political party in Tumbra. The party’s ideology consists primarily of environmentalism combined with left-wing economic policies, including well-funded public services within a steady-state economy. On social issues, the party is seen to be on the left of the Labour party, embracing socially progressive stances on issues like LGBT rights and drug policy. The party has two co-leaders, one male and one female; the party’s current leaders are Robert Ford and Anna Palmer.

Established in 1993 as part of the unification of the progressive left, a trend that started with Bryan LaRouche’s Reform Party but which slowly fragmented, the party won four seats in the 1996 elections, and subsequently lent its support for the Labour government after the 1999 election. The party’s founder, Michael Sinclair, became the first Cabinet minister from the Green Party when he became Minister for the Environment in Edward North’s third cabinet.

The Greens’ support base is concentrated in younger, urban professionals - as such, almost all of their seats they have won since 1996 have been in urban areas. The Greens, similar to the Moderates, also call for a change to a proportional representation system.

The Leaders - Robert Ford and Anna Palmer

Unusually for political parties in Tumbra, the Green Party has two co-leaders - one male, and one female. Mr. Ford, 63, has been the co-leader of the party since Michael Sinclair retired from the post in 2007. He was first elected to Parliament in 1996, as one of the original crop of Green MPs elected in that year's election. He served as a junior Minister in the second North administration and the Randall administration, before being elevated to Minister for the Environment upon his assuming the leadership of the party. It was he who first pushed the idea of co-leader, and the first was elected in 2009, after that year's general election.

Ms. Palmer, 43, was first elected as co-leader in 2015, following the resignation of Katie Evans. Ms. Palmer is a second-term MP, first being elected to the seat of Couno Grove Hill off Liberal preferences in 2013, taking the seat off Labour. It was her result that caused the Labour leader at the time, Hannah Young, to concede the election. Since becoming leader she has focused her efforts more on the grassroots side of the Green Party, partaking in climate protests held in Nantwich and Newton, the latter alongside fellow MP Ms. Chloe Bowen.

Prospects

Similarly to the Moderates, their focus is on defending the 18 seats they won at the end of the last term. However, unlike the Moderates, they should not have much trouble defending the seats, with polling in those seats all showing a healthy lead for the Green Party. While independent campaigner Maryanne Williams has begun a longshot campaign to flip Paul Williams' seat - Rawlings, Alexandria (11.9%) - and being subsequently adopted as the Green candidate there, she is largely seen as being able to cut into Mr. Williams' majority, but has little chance of flipping it. Mr. Williams came under fire during the 46th Parliament for openly supporting an oil pipeline that would run from Gamaliel through Alexandria to Newton, through his seat, and has been the concerted target of environmentalists since.

Conservative Party
House of Representatives: 12/650
Senate: 6/205
State Parliaments: 52/2250

The Conservative Party is a right-wing, national conservative and nationalist party in Tumbra. Founded in 1945 as an anti-socialist vanguard, the party has since evolved to encompass the right-wing politics of Tumbra, encompassing within the party traditional conservative economic stances along with being socially conservative. The current leader of the party since December 2020 has been Alan Spalko, who has been observed to trend more nationalist, while also simultaneously managing to attract a younger audience to the party.

The party’s platform is based on nationalism and social conservatism; critics have called them racist and xenophobic. The party trends increasingly isolationist, and does not support Tumbran participation in any Esportivan Union, and opposes any attempt to further integrate the party into it. It also opposes the country’s current stance on immigration, instead supporting a more assimilationist policy and stricter controls on immigration, and does not support LGBT rights beyond basic recognition.

The party typically sees a small support base, but has grown following Spalko's election as federal Leader and the merger of Taranga First into the party.

The Leader - Alan Spalko

Alan Spalko has taken the world by storm as of late. The fiery 39 year-old deposed longtime leader Avery Mitchell at the 2020 Conservative Party conference, and has embarked on a new path for the party, centralising on his home state of Georgia. He, along with his companions Jacob Licht, Courtney Kemp, Robert Breyer and Kathleen Nielsen are all expected to contest the upcoming federal elections in the region of Erie, Georgia, a traditional Liberal stronghold. Spalko is part of a new generation of Conservative leaders who have more hardline stances on immigration, and dislike the Liberals for being too "soft" and not "conservative enough". He has become the second most favoured party leader in recent times, second only to Mr. Everett, which bodes well for his upcoming campaign.

Prospects

Georgia, Georgia, Georgia. Mr. Spalko has already indicated that he will campaign almost exclusively in the state, and allow other state parties to effectively run their own campaign, harkening back to the 1996 election which saw the Conservative Alliance reach a high mark of 21 seats in Parliament. Granted, the party was then in coalition with Taranga First and the New Democratic Party, but the party still gained eight seats at that year's federal election. Mr. Spalko will most likely be contesting in the seat of Nottingham (8.9%), which, despite its large majority, is likely to fall. More unlikely to fall include seats like Golade (12.1%), Waterford (11.1%) but especially Coville (13.8%), represented by veteran MP and former Minister for Commerce John Harrison.

Social Democratic Party
House of Representatives: 3/650
Senate: 0/205
State Parliaments: 6/1640

The Social Democratic Party is a left-wing, democratic socialist political party in Tumbra. Founded in 1902 as a successor to the Protectionist League, and incorporating those disenchanted by the Labour party’s shift to the centre-left, the party has occupied a small but important space in Tumbran politics. The SDP came to its zenith in 1932, but has slowly lost power since, and lost its representation in the Senate in the 2020 Senate elections. Its current leader is Peter Saunders, who has led the party since 1997.

The SDP is explicitly socialist, and calls for democratic socialism to overcome capitalism. It calls for greater regulation of the economy and more taxes on the rich, as well as a basic income and the expansion of social welfare policies. Its support is strongest amongst the working classes in manufacturing towns, and the extremely left-wing urban neighbourhoods.

The Leader - Peter Saunders

The 73 year-old approaches his fifth decade in politics (his second as an MP) with seemingly the same vigour as he did when he became a union leader in 1986. He holds the dubious distinction of being the only MP to have been arrested (thrice) in the current House, but his fiery demeanour has brought him as many supporters as it has detractors. Saunders is likely to pass on the leadership after the election, with Penhurst MP Cressida Granger the likely candidate.

Prospects

None. The SDP holds its three seats by virtue of Labour running weak candidates in the seat, and a preference deal that sees Labour preferences directed to the SDP. Expansion is difficult, but some Straton seats have been promising of late.

Swings, and Other Things

Tumbra utilises the instant-runoff method of voting, with voters listing their preferences from "1" down to however many candidates there are on the ballot. Candidates are then eliminated based on the number of first preference votes until two remain. The votes for those candidates are redistributed to the candidate ranked second on their ballot paper, until only two candidates remain. This is to ensure that a winning candidate gets at least 50% of the vote.

A full list of seats can be found here. The number on the right represents the percentage that the candidate won by in 2017, and also doubles up as the swing required to unseat the MP. For third parties, the 'vs" column shows which of the major two parties are closest to taking that seat.

As the graph shows, a swing of 1.7% is enough to deny Labour a majority. Should, out of every hundred people, seventeen people change their minds and vote Liberal, Labour will lose their majority. The same rule follows - as one goes further down the chart, the safer the seat gets. A swing of 3.4% is required for the Liberals to become the largest party, and the swing required for them to gain a majority is slightly above 4.5%.

The Couno Herald will bring readers the latest in coverage from the 2021 federal elections, from the moment the writs dropped to the moment Parliament is sworn in.

[Nephara]

Nephara 2 - 1 Garbelia
(4-2-3-1) 20 - Markgraf; 18 - Soeringer, 6 - Clevinger, 19 - Brabanzon, 22 - Lind; 4 - Shone (15 - Horvath 58'), 17 - Mueller; 23 - Mrdja, 21 - Moxham (14 - Fletcher 58'), 13 - Belgrade; 10 - Lovelace (16 - Basilisk 78')
Goals: Lovelace 25', Belgrade 39'

Kandorith 0 - 0 Nephara
(4-2-3-1) 1 - Provost; 2 - Stride, 5 - Thorn (c), 6 - Clevinger, 3 - Muscadin; 15 - Horvath, 8 - Cromwell (17 - Mueller 76'); 7 - Koerner (23 - Mrdja 57'), 21 - Moxham, 11 - Ramsey; 10 - Lovelace (9 - Bastable 67')

A nervy win at home over Garbelia should never have been greeted with a sigh of relief from the green and black, but that's what it had come to. It was their first home win since defeating Pluvia, just before the reverse fixture against Garbelia. Nevertheless, they were happy to take the three points.
It was also greeted with cheers elsewhere. Indusse, a rival for the playoff place, had dropped points against Pluvia, while Kandorith had put first place back into contention with a dramatic win over South Covello. That was a massive favour for the Cormorants; now they had to do a favour by obligingly falling on home soil.
That would be easier said than done. The visit to Kandorith was the only match any Nephar would've been happy to take a point from, under usual circumstances, their win in the backyard of the group leaders underlining a uality that somehow hadn't shone through. But both sides needed three points tonight, with the Cormorants likely, scandalously, to fall to fifth place with defeat. There just weren't enough places left to make up ground. They maybe, just maybe, could afford two dropped points here, but how could you think like that?
Triffid Ramsey wasn't thinking like that. She stuck to her guns, switching Konrad Lovelace in up front over the out-of-form Kurtis Bastable, presumably hoping that this would not be analysed and re-analysed in a thousand think-pieces before the end of the week. Naively. Moxham continued to play in behind, with Ramsey's daughter Kendra slotting in on the left and former mainstays in Belgrade and Shone continuing to look on unhappily from the bench.
Triffid Ramsey had made a lot before the match of "players who knew how to win". She mentioned Chimera Moxham and Traudl Mrdja, two players she'd restored. She did not mention anyone else.

"...and I do class myself the best goalkeeper in Eura. Within two years I'll be at a club that can match my ambitions. That club might be lucky enough to be called Holdenberg."
"What do you say to people who accuse you of being arrogant?"
(laughs) "Now, why would they say that?"
"Well... perhaps for choosing an interview on the official club channel to announce your intentions to leave."
"That isn't the takeaway there. The takeaway there is that Holdenberg have been lucky to have me. But we all knew from the start this would be a stepping stone, right, I mean, I'm the Cormorants #1, after all..."

Provost saw the danger coming. The young tyro Kaba on the wing, drifting into space, pushing past Stride and cutting back, Honda finding his way to the end of it and firing high-- Provost pushed her body at full strength, felt the ball on her fingertips and flicked them out, pushing the ball over onto the roof of the net...
She thumped into the grass. The home fans were groaning, not cheering, and she hadn't heard the net ripple behind her. The half-satyr Clevinger hauled her unsteadily to her feet, and she allowed herself a grim smile. Any set piece would have a hell of a time getting past her.
But Kaba's corner did. Clevinger watched on as it rose over her head and Provost raced off her line and threw herself bodily towards the ball, as did the centre-half Takahashi. They crunched into each other and Provost got the worst of it, crumpling briefly to the ground before waving off any and all attention as she forced herself back to her feet, looked up and restarted the play with a long kick down the left.

"... would have to say that we're favourites for the World Cup, yeah. And that comes with its own challenges."
"You wouldn't say the blips against Kandorith and South Covello reflect anything?"
"Does it matter?" (laughs) "We'll qualify one way or another. No, I think all of us have our eyes on the prize. If we go into the last matchday caring how it ends, we've failed..."

There wasn't a lot Konrad Lovelace hated about Vivica Muscadin. The bright-eyed, faintly manic fullback had been a constant of the good times and now, apparently, bad. She was an excellent player who people, broadly, liked a lot. But holy shit did she take a long time to take throwins sometimes.
She dithered. Ramsey down the wing or Lovelace more central? Lothaire Cromwell was also in view, occasionally threatening to burst clear of Hirano's mark. What more could--
"Fucking hurl it!" Lovelace yelled, out of patience, and Muscadin glared at him before obliging. Down the wing. For Ramsey, who beat Takayama to it then looked up for options, then back, slotting the ball back to Moxham-- no, the Spartangrad midfielder did a rather egregious step-over, so now it was at Cromwell's feet...
Lovelace had already started running. He knew he could be found. The Kandorese defence was startled by the ball now being with Cromwell, the picture shifted, Lovelace made his run - he waited for leather to hit the ball, waited to hear that sound, before finally, -thunk-, splitting open the defence to find him, perfectly, deftly poked beyond Tamatsuki...
But he knew he'd hear the whistle, and he knew he'd see the flag. He trotted back towards halfway, shaking his head.
Cromwell waited for him, then put an arm around his shoulder. "Look, you needed a bit more patie--"
"Hit the damn pass early, Lothaire," snapped Lovelace. He was never normally this bitchy, not anywhere close, but they were all feeling the pressure now.

"... don't even-- sort of don't want to turn up..."
(laughs) "That's ridiculous. C'mon-- Traudi. Really?"
"I'm serious! I'm like... this close to telling her to go to Hell. I feel like I'm not there because she thinks I'm one of the best 23 - and I think I'm one of the best 23, hell, I think I'm one of the best 11 - but like I'm only there to draw a contrast. Like how we all know Moxi's there as an example, not on merit."
"You did not just imply Chimera Moxham isn't one of our best players."
"Well..."
"The best. The best playmaker we've ever had in a green shirt."
"I don't disagree. And, yeah, on paper she's one of our 11 strongest. But there was a reason Dani Strauss wanted to move on from her. And... and I guess from me. And I could take that from her. I just resent being used to win an argument I don't believe in, that's all."
"So what do you think's going wrong?"
"I think we just... I think..."
"Traudi?"
"... I don't know. I'm sorry..."

Ilia Mueller had arrived at the perfectly wrong time.
Seriously, this was no time at all to be associated with the Cormorants. She was in a sense Cromwell's replacement at club level, a clever and diligent box-to-box player, and they shared enough attributes that it was little surprise either that Bittencourt or Ramsey picked her. But, still - the timing!
Well, right now the time was what felt like a minute or two into injury time, and the score was scoreless. Both sides had been disciplined and solid first and foremost, and that approach was going to get both sides a result that would encourage nobody but Graentfjall and Indusse.
Unless.
Mueller had space, and was surrounded by tired bodies. Too many to go for goal herself, but she spotted a fellow substitute down the right. All she needed to do was find her.
So she did. Clipping a long ball down the flank. Mrdja raced for it. The spring-heeled Takayama raced after her. The ground seemed to open up for them both, for this one final titanic struggle. For a time they were shoulder to shoulder and then, just slightly, Mrdja began to break away, and Nepharim rose from their seats, and Tamatsuki raced off his line, and Mrdja pulled the trigger, the ball beat Tamatsuki at pace and kept going, inexorably...
... And clanked sadly against the far post...

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 9
Goalkeepers: 1 - Aranea Provost (Holdenberg, EUR), 12 - Raluca Garamond (Sabrefell Athletic), 20 - Alexandra Markgraf (Sabrefell Moths)
Defenders: 2 - Rovena Stride (AFC Treason), 3 - Vivica Muscadin (Sabrefell Moths), 5 - Roxelana Thorn (Revolutionaries, EUR, c), 6 - Reniira Clevinger (Sabrefell Athletic), 18 - Pristina Soeringer (Stein-los Turkish, PAS), 19 - Miska Brabanzon (Sabrefell Moths), 22 - Radeka Lind (Vermillion Rage)
Midfielders: 4 - Tawny Shone (Brinemouth), 7 - Anselm Koerner (1830 Cathair, AUD), 8 - Lothaire Cromwell (AC Izotz Zubia, AUD), 11 - Kendra Ramsey (AFC Treason), 13 - Ysabet Belgrade (Sabrefell Moths), 14 - Exene Fletcher (Hellinic Rouge, PAS), 15 - Rashica Horvath (La Nueva Avenida, FFD), 17 - Ilia Mueller (AFC Treason), 21 - Chimera Moxham (Spartangrad, EUR), 23 - Traudl Mrdja (Vermillion Rage)
Forwards: 9 - Kurtis Bastable (Ulsa, EUR), 10 - Konrad Lovelace (Revolutionaries, EUR), 16 - Latona Basilisk (Mâ Âlâmëómë, FFD)

SCHEDULE
Baggieland 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 1 Quemorr Isles @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
Græntfjall 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 0 Pluvia @ Ludd's Hammer (Stahlburg)
Garbelia 2 - 4 - Nephara
Nephara 2 - 3 Kandorith @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
South Covello 1 - 1 Nephara
Sett Forest 2 - 0 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 1 Indusse @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Nephara 2 - 2 Baggieland @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Quemorr Isles 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 1 Græntfjall @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Pluvia 0 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 1 Garbelia @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Kandorith 0 - 0 Nephara
Nephara vs. South Covello @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Nephara vs. Sett Forest @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Indusse vs. Nephara

[The Gothanita Isles]

Garifunya 1-1 TGI
Lineup for TGI (4-2-3-1): Thulile Bolkvadze (c); Jeanette Ross, Abu Bakr Ekmekçi, Den Benjaminson, Charlee Harel; Chloe Brewster, Remus McQueen (Sardar Chaplin 60'); Grigorii McCrory, Ladislava Tyler, Adelia Kelly; Abdelkader Kartal
Cards: Grigorii McCrory 38' (yellow)
Goals: Rudie Kreijenveld 42'
Goals: Adelia Kelly 67'

TGI 1-0 Bluecliff League
@ Bukit Jetong Stadium, Hangastan, South Jeolerina, Rushmore (cap. 18,000)
Lineup for TGI (4-2-3-1): Thulile Bolkvadze (c); Jeanette Ross, Timotheos Dunn, Saif al-Din Kartal, Charlee Harel; Sardar Chaplin, Remus McQueen; Stefanie Salzwedel (Grigorii McCrory 67'), Chloe Brewster, Cyneburga London; Abdelkader Kartal
Cards: None
Goals: Abdelkader Karter 59'

The team from The Gothanitan Times covering the World Cup Qualifiers sat stunned in the room after working 6 hours on it. There are just too many close rivals around, and nobody is sure enough to decide who can no longer be first, and whether any team is in a position to qualify. Of course, when they finally figured out that the top 5, including Hampton Island, can be actually 1st under some situation or another, the thoughts than turned to giving an analysis of the group. Again, no conclusion.

(for simplicity we just colour code the chunk here)
"So you see, South Newlandia are clearly favourites, needing 1 point from 9 to get themselves at least a playoff spot."
"While, you say that, have you looked at their final matches?"
"Yeah I have! Home against us and Tumbra, sandwiching an away match at U-Koro."
"So you think South Newlandia can drop 3 losses in that situation. Especially against U-Koro, who only got 7 points from 15 games?"
"Come on, Jude. (the first guy's name is Jude) Just because you think our Yellow Lions should get into the playoffs doesn't mean that we shouldn't be realistic about their chances."

---

On the plane ride to South Newlandia, Zahi Castillias was staring at an empty page in his notebook. If this trip was done 2 months ago, at the start of the qualifiers, than Zahi would probably be in a nicer mood, talking to his backroom staff, or even making his rounds to talk to the players. After all, this is what has made him well welcomed at Mancodas City, even though the club imploded in his final season in charge before he resigned and left the club. His understanding of each and every player made him so welcomed in the dressing room, made him in a position where everyone respect his each and every decision, and helped united the team even when the team wasn't in the best of conditions. Fans who are very well informed about the players' morale and everything will know that Zahi is the friendly and approachable coach, who choose to look at things the nicer way. That is what makes his fan approval rating so high, much higher than the respective nations' football team managers.

However, this was not any other ordinary day. The trip to Tumbra would be the begining of an end, and Zahi had to think very carefully about his next plans against Tumbra, South Newlandia, and Pasarga. Normally, he would spend some time looking at how his fellow countryman are doing at the World Cup Qualifiers. They, too, have tough fixtures ahead, looking to play Krytenia at home next matchday, a match which may very well decide who goes to the playoffs and who will miss the chance to fight for a spot at the World Cup. Even when one of his coach showed him an interview the Poafmer Times did with former Krytenian manager and current Kistina Galaxy player Valrauncion, he merely pushed it aside and told the coach that "he would view it later". Occassionally, he would be looking at videos, but the videos were videos about the upcoming opponents and their previous matches, not about anything else. Nothing.

Zahi knows that the team's danger spot is actually the inability to score at big stages. Sure, they may have defeated all these 3 opponents the last time round, but Zahi had pulled of 3 different tactics. Against South Newlandia, he told the team to be more proactive and attack. Against Tumbra, he told the team to keep the possession and go on fast-paced runs whenever necessary. Against Pasarga, it was a whole bunch of mid-game shifts and solid calls from the bench that helped the Yellow Lions gained 9 points out of 9. This time round, the opponents also learn that Zahi has too many tricks up their sleeve. Actually, not many. Even if he is a tactical master, like how he led Mancodas City to pull off surprises after surprises when he was in charge, he knows that those tricks are useless if the players can't actually pull them off. Just like the team's inability to close the match against Garifunya. Or the team spending 88 minutes staring blank until a late corner which gave The Gothanita Isles all 3 points against Bluecliff League. The goal-scoring drought is starting to come back again, unless he gets the team to find their scoring boots. That may mean, something as simple as playing more strikers, going more offensive, or...honestly he has no clue too. Switching to 4-3-3 helped against Pasarga the last time out, but will it help this time? Maybe, he thought to himself. Maybe.

In the back of the plane, where the players sat, there was laughter and cheering. Despite a lack of alcohol (because Zahi told the players that no one should be caught drinking alcohol, including the coaching team and himself) it seemed that the players were in high spirits. Most of them are taking a break ahead of the next 10 days of 3 matches. The World Cup qualifiers has always been seen as hectic, with 18 matches in 2 months. (according to IC time, yes) The next 10 days would be ridiculous rush for the players, and that is a fact that is probably more well-knowned than you think. But despite almost everyone having a break, there were 3 players sitting at the extreme rear, looking at videos through the In-flight Entertainment system, and they were looking at training videos and replays.

"Cyn, maybe you should have tried to attract the defender away here. Gives Abdel a larger space to work with so that he can solo the goal instead of relying on the both of us for the attempt."
"I doubt it, Grigorii. In that case, I had no chance to provide an alternative plan because the keeper knows that he just has to go to me. Let Cyn just break into a run in the event I think the defender is closing on me."
"I think both works. In this case, on that day, it didn't work because the defender caught us trying to signal a pass. Maybe it is a judgement thing that Abdel has to work on. It comes with experience, and in the international stage, the experience just helps you guess the defender better."
"Seriously, though, how do both of you think about this run thus far?" Grigorii McCrory turned towards Abdelkader Kartal and Cyneburga London. "Do you feel that the more we work with Zahi, the more we think that he works better with the national team and us as compared to the other managers?"
"Honestly," replied Abdelkader, "to keep this forward, the entire structure of football at home needs to change. Zahi needs to be given more rights as a combined national team manager in terms of call-ups, rather than relying on the words of our respective state team managers. They only manage us for a bunch of games in the regionals, with absolutely no funding whatsoever from the GIFC. What can they decide? Nothing."
"So you will submit a proposal to ask for a change in the national team structure?" asked Grigorii.
"If Zahi thinks it helps him makes decisions better, than it would really help."
Cyneburga just looked at the two guys with her beautiful smile. "I have played in the league system for 18 years till date. As early as 10 years ago, we have been questioning why the GIFL is structured that way. Why Otksarin with North Handoria in 1 conference, and South Jeolerina and Hallikshire in the other? Why must we have a playoff to decide the winner, instead of just combining all 52 teams into 3 divisions of 16, 16 and 20? Or even 16, 18, 18 if they like. But at least, us strong teams can play each other more often and yet not have such a long league. Just look at the leagues worldwide. In Nephara, the top tier is decreasing from a 24 team Premership, to 20 under the Zenith. Audioslavia plays with 15 teams. We play with 14 at the top but a very awkward playoff system. Can you imagine being top of the league during regular season but unable to be in any regional? What happens in the even we get a 5th slot? Order of qualification is decided based on league results against different opponents? How does any of that make sense? Not to mention the ban on participation in the international transfer window - you will never see Gothanitans playing overseas in a long while. Until the GIFC change their idea."

Grigorii and Abdelkader just stared at Cyneburga with amazement.

[HUElavia]

HUElavia Outlasts to Stay Alive in Qualifiers!

HUElavia 4-3 Fluvannia
(Torrisi 5', 23', Moutinho-Figo 60', 87'| Gordon 18', Paul 39', Huursonen 70')
(Estadio Bendito, San Franco)

HUElavia 2-1 Rwekazaland
(Savedra 12', Maximovna 88' | REDACTED 57')
(San Ignatius, Itio)

HUElavia returned for the closing matches of the World Cup Qualifiers looking to stay alive in the qualifiers with 5 matches remaining. Their next opponents were Flvannia, which the team was seeking vengeance for the loss in the first leg of qualifiers, and Rwekazaland, who had upseted them with a draw. The mix of players from all four squads were used for the matches, with Lobato in goal (and Captain) for the first match, and Baptista in goal for the second game. Both matches were home matches, with the first in Estadio Bendito (50,000) in San Franco, and the second in San Ignatius (52,000) in Itio. The Home Alternative Uniform was used versus Fluvannia and the Home Uniform was used against Rwekazaland. The fans flocked to the stadiums looking to cheer on the team for these matches.

The first match had HUElavia on the offense looking to score goals and assert dominance. The opening goal came in the 5th minute when a foul by Hale on Colombres gave way for a free kick. Torrisi took the kick and curved it over the wall and past a Asahiko, who stood still, as it blasted into the goal to make it 1-0, with the crowd erupting with passion and joy to make the stadium rumble, all while Torrisi celebrated with his teammates. Fluvannia reacted in the 18th minute, as a cross by Lambert went into the box, only for Gordon to win the ball from Ezwa, and put it down to blast it past Lobato into the goal to make it 1-1, silencing the crowd and frustrating the HUElavian players. In the 23rd minute, HUElavia would attack again, as a counter attack had 2 against 1, with Villca passing the ball to Torrisi, who was one-on-one with Asahiko, sending a low shot that curved past the reach of Asahiko and into the goal to make it 2-1. Torrisi hugged and high-5ed Villca for the assist and celebrated with his teammates while the crowd roared and cheered on the goal. Fluvannia responded once again, as in the 39th minute a low pass by Vaudois would go into the box and reached Paul, who tapped it past a diving Lobato to put it into the goal, making it 2-2, silencing the crowd and upsetting the players once more. In the second half, substitutions were made, with Reveles going out for Moutinho-Figo and Colombres out for Jiang. In the 60th minute, Jiang was covered by Mcdaniel, which she juked to send a cross in, only for Moutinho-Figo to tower over Lattiniemi, and head the ball past a reaching Asahiko into the goal, making it 3-2. Moutinho-Figo celebrated with Jiang and with his teammates, while the crowd jumped and cheered with passion and joy once more. Fluvannia responded in the 70th minute, as a low pass by Iezusu went into the box, only for Huursonen to get past D'Aquila and chip the ball past a diving Lobato to put it into the goal, making it 3-3, silencing the crowd once more. Time ticked away and when it looked like it would end in a draw, HUElavia would get their chance. In the 87th minute, a cross by Jiang would go into the box, only for Moutinho-Figo to appear open, chest the ball down and blast it past a sprawling Asahiko into the goal, making it 4-3. Moutinho-Figo was mobbed by his teammates and the bench, while the crowd jumped with passion to make the stadium rumble in the celebrations. Moments later, the referee blew her whistle and the match ended and the crowd erupted in joy while the players congratulated themselves for getting revenge for what should have been an easy victory.

The second match also had HUElavia looking to dominate Rekazaland with their attack. The opening goal came in the 12th minute, when a pass by Braz-Bitencourt would slide past REDACTED and REDACTED to an onside Savedra, who was left one-on-one with REDACTED, only to chip the ball over REDACTED and have it dip with ease into the goal to make it 1-0. Savedra hugged and high-5ed Braz-Bittencourt and celebrated with his teammates, all while the crowd celebrated with passion. Time ticked away and while HUElavia got some more shots, in, they couldn't get anything more in for the rest of the half. In the second half, Rekazaland would respond, as in the 57th minute, a cross by REDACTED was chested down by REDACTED, who blasted it past a sprawling Baptista, as it went into the goal, making it 1-1 and silencing the crowd in Itio. Time ticked away and it looked like it would end in a draw, when in the 88th minute, Maximovna dispossessed REDACTED and was one-on-one with REDACTED, only to juke away from the goalie and slide the ball into an empty goal, making it 2-1. The crowd erupted while Maximovna ran to the corner flag to get mobbed by her teammates and the bench, as the team got another late winner. Shortly after, HUElavia got the victory and got revenge for the draw in the first leg.

HUElavia sits in 4th Place with 28 Points (9-1-5) with no Margin of Error for the matches coming up. The next two games are an away game at Pays den Haut and at home against Sajnur in Estadio Bertoli (68,500), in Ourao. A mix of all four squads will be used once more, and Vannier will start in goal against Pays den Haut and Patricio-Leite in goal for the second match. The Away Alternative and Home Alternative will be used for each match respectively. The team trains hard while the fans pray, as HUElavia needs a hero in order to stay alive with 3 games remaining, especially where Geektopia and Recuecn can clinch the top 2 spots with 2 wins for both teams. Here's to hoping a miracle can be delivered for Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

TIME FOR STARRE TO SHINE

By Taylor Larson,

With just three games to go in World Cup qualifying, Group 17 has surely tightened up. This was expected, as this group was always going to be very difficult. The random draw gods wanted Michael Starre to show that he could earn a qualification with this team instead of getting the free pass like he did in World Cup 86 with this challenge and so far the Newmanistan has done decently. At 10-3-2, the Rockets have 33 points, but their problem is Tikariot. Vilita has eventually found their way to the front in the group and will enjoy the fact that the Rockets and the Owlets will be going head to head and potentially have a showdown between substitute striker Jarrell Connolly and their starter Jardel Connolly. Our Jar Connolly did not play in the first match as he is no longer the starter as he once was and their Jar Connolly still is.

Newmanistan is 10-3-2, Tikariot is 10-3-2. Our overall goal differential is better but presently, Tikariot has the head to head tiebreaker on us due to their 2-1 win in Southport. Therefore, a Newmanistan win in this match would swing the tiebreaker in our favor. Should we manage the road victory, we would then be tied on head to head, at the very least be tied in head to head goal differential. A greater than one goal win clinches head to head goal differential for us. Should we win only by one, then of course we would have the three point lead, but a little bit of a cushion should we blow it in the two games after this. That of course, would be a very Newmanistanian thing to do. If we end up tied, our edge in overall goal differential is six. If this is a meaningful tiebreaker, then a one goal head to head win pushes that to seven, something that the Owlets would have to make up in the last two games. Like I said, it sounds very Newmanistanian that we would blow that.

Should we lose to Tikariot, we are not officially done, but would have to win our final two games and Tikariot would have to lose their last two. That would seem to be unlikely. If we finish in a draw, then we have to gain one more point then the Owlets do over the final two games. After this head to head match, Newmanistan is at Hebitaka (4-4-6) and home to Widaya (0-3-12). Tikariot is at Balqia (2-5-8), then home to Hebitaka. Therefore, you have to think that both teams should feel good about the games that follow this one. That makes this a must win for the Rockets. Tikariot will not lose their last two, and outsourcing them by a point in those games, should we play to a head to head draw is not something that we should feel confident about.

This is why we hired Michael Starre from Drawkland. He was brought here a little after halfway in World Cup 85 qualifying and fared well with the roster that he inherited. Between World Cup 85 and 86, Starre was able to make himself at home on our planet and piece together the roster that he wanted, and we saw a lot of changes to it. This was successful, as Newmanistan made the most of their automatic bid to the World Cup and won the group before losing to Mriin in the round of sixteen. World Cup 87 would become the first time that he had to get this nation to qualify with the team that he wanted, and quite honestly 10-3-2 is a good record in this very difficult group. However, that is not going to be enough, and it is now time for Michael Starre to game plan a way for this team to pick up the road win. A manager can only do so much, so this come down to execution on the field, and perhaps the experience that we have can help offset the raucous home field support that Tikariot will receive. Tikariot has been said to be a great nation for the future in sports, but that future has become the present. We know them as a great baseball nation first. Their fans know us as a great baseball nation. They don’t need to know that we have a poor record at qualifying for the World Cup, they’ll see our flag and think about baseball and in their heads, think we are just as good in soccer. It will be loud and it will be on the Rockets to find a way to overcome everything that they need to in this game.

[Waisnor]

Chances are lost but we tried

Waisnorian team was in a pretty strong shape before macthes with Sulsuland and Maccian, and so, Waisnorian fan were waiting for victories, especially over Maccian, who defeated Waisnor in the first half of matches 6-0. However, everything turned out not so simple:

A tense struggle was expected from the match between Waisnor and Sulsuland, which should have contrasted with the frankly boring match of the first half of matches which ended in 1-1 draw. And according to the results of the match, we can say that these expectations were justified.
The match began rather unexpectedly - although in the first minutes Waisnorian team had a leading positions, Sulsuland suddenly took the initiative there, and on 25th minute Sulsuland scored the first goal in this match - forward from this team was able to dispose of the moment well and shoot directly into the formed gap in the defense, thus hitting the goal.
Waisnor team obviously got a little nervous when she started losing, and her game got a little lurid. And Sulsuland was able to take advantage of this again, scoring the second goal - in the 41st minute, the midfielder of this team bypassed the defenders and shot exactly down the gate.
The first half ended up 2-0 in favor of Sulsuland and Waisnorian fans were pretty upset about this. The coach of the team was clearly able to act on his team so that it began to really play.
Talking to the coach helped Waisnorian team take the lead in the match and start to recoup - at the 51st minute Arthur Shuteyko managed to send the ball with his head straight into the goal after a distant serve from Arseny Bratkov and scored the first goal of Waisnor in this match.
After this goal was scored, Waisnorian team began to play more confidently and uninhibited. To score the second goal Waisnor needed a little time - at the 58th munite Alexey Bolotov again after after filing from outside the penalty area, this time from a free kick, quickly kicked the ball and sent it to the top of the goal, making the score 2-2.
Waisnorians were not going to stop there, they only wanted victory. It remains only to put the squeeze on Sulsuland and score the winning goal, which they managed to do at the 73rd minute - ALexey Bolotov scored a second goal in this match thanks to the excellent bypass of the defenders of opponents and an accurate blow to the bottom corner. This allowed Waisnor to snatch victory from Sulsuland and take another 3 points.

After all this matches Waisnorian team and their fans wanted to at least not to lose to Maccian with such devastating score as in their first meeting. But getting points in meeting them would be even more pleasant.
From the very start of the match Waisnorian team started to handle attacks at the gates of Kevin Brazy, and on the 25th minute it was the Waisnorian who scored the first goal in this match - Timur Skvortsov, after a corner kick, was able to send the ball into the goal with one not very strong blow.
However, Maccian team was not going to leave this goal unanswered and it took them only 8 minutes to score a return goal - Watt Steppbrost took the penalty he earned for his team. And, as you might have guessed, the goal was scored from the penalty spot, and the score was equal.
In principle, the first half did not stand out anything special anymore and the teams left for the break with an equal score. One thing can be said about the second half - it turned out to be much more interesting than the first.
Waisnorian team seemed to be not so satisfied with the draw and wanted a win, and on the 62nd minute they became closer to it - Anatoly Makovsky was able to beat the Maccianese defense perfectly and after a little show off, he sent the ball straight into the goal, leading Waisnor forward.
Maccian team again needed a very little time to score a return goal - on the 66th minute Jessie Calinnflores was able to find a hole in Waisnor's defense an quickly shot in the gates of Dmitry Samoilov, equalizing the score once again.
After that, both teams began a fierce struggle for the victory, which both teams clearly wanted to win. For a while, Waisnor prevailed in this struggle, and on 81st minute thanks to this, the third goal was scored into the goal of Kevin Brazy - Alexey Bolotov scored another goal in this tournament thanks to a long-range shot into the goal.
Even though there are 9 minutes left in normal time, Maccian wanted to score the last goal to get at least 1 point, and on 86th minute they managed to do this - Amiensha Kyle thanks to a successful cross into the penalty area, she was able to redirect the ball straight into the goal, setting the final score of 3-3.

Even though Waisnor scored 4 out of 6 possible points in last 2 matches, it lost any chances for advancing to the regular phase of World Cup.

Team for a matches with The Holy Empire and Yerapia
Dmitry Samoilov
Pavel Burtsov
Alexey Bastanov
Alexey Tiunov
Arseny Bratkov
Timur Skvortsov
Anatoly Makovsky
Arthur Shuteyko
Prokhor Golovnov
Vitaly Butin
Alexey Bolotov

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

After the run of form as hot as the sun extended to 8 games without defeat, David Seems and his Jaguars entered what could be described as the biggest double-header in the history of TJUN-ian football. Four points back on the 1st opponent and ten ahead of the 2nd, both in the top 2 Pots heading into the WC, this would be a pivotal set of games for TJUN-ia's qualification hopes no matter what happened on both pitches.

We begin in Concord Heights, the Dagan Airways Stadium to be exact, a city TJUN-ia hasn't seen since WBC50 itself and the hosts of an epic contest between the top 2 in Group 3 - the Jaguars of TJUN-ia, the visitors, and the Dagans of Cassadaigua, the hosts and the leaders. It was Stephanie Sweeney vs David Seems once again and the 2nd football battle between the International Community and the Matriarchy. It would be another tight, entertaining contest that would put both teams in a good light. The Dagans were the better of the sides in the first half, effectively sealing the game within 35 minutes thanks to 2 superb goals from Madison McClain. TJUN-ia would get a goal back in the 2nd half, Prince Carter finding a way past Tiffany Nelson in the 67th, but after that, the Dagan defence shut down any attempts of an equaliser and the points would go only one way. The Dagans are legit and if they go undefeated in this group, I wouldn't be surprised. We did lose, but the Busoga Islands did as well as Central Shaneville pulled off the upset. That meant that heading into the next game, it would be Acronius in 3rd, 5 points back.

Speaking of the next game, this would also be a big one as the underachieving Flavovespia entered Szensky on a quest to stay alive in the race for Top 2. Szensky knew this would be an important game as well, as they wanted to join Tiankong in the 3 win club so Beregozera had a thunderous atmosphere by the time kick-off arrived on the shores of Lake Szen. It would be another game of the ages as well, with 7 goals and a lot of action to be had. TJUN-ia were dominant in the first half as they went up 2-0 thanks to quick goals by hometown-player Vladimir Podolov in the 34th and 43rd. But the former Greater Waldster/Watford wasn't going down without a fight and they responded with 2 goals in the first 5 minutes of the 2nd half, Scott Coleman providing both. Then it became a tight one for a while before the might of "The Galarian Connection" came into effect, Archer Andrews scoring the 3rd in the 67th and Prince Carter the 4th in the 78th to effectively seal the contest right there. James King scored a consolation in the 89th, but that wouldn't change this one. Flavovespia, the 2nd seeds, were out in Szensky as TJUN-ia, the 3rd seeds, returned to form on Lake Szen's shores - another place that is 3-0 this WC.

The UFC was placed into chaos as Xanneria retained but S&T did not, losing the belt to Kohnhead of all nations. As for us, the picture is certainly interesting. Seven points back on a Cassie already assured Top 2, the focus now turns to behind us. Five points ahead of Acronius and 10 ahead of Busoga, the main aim now is simple: if we are still 5 points ahead of Acronius by the time we face them on MD18, we will be in the playoffs at least. Muralos away and Havynwilde in the final home game await us. Nothing is certain, but things are certainly looking good. GO JAGS!

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SCHEDULE (Group 3) - lines indicate when next edition of Boot It! will be released
MD1: vs Busoga Islands (79) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 1-3 (T-9th)
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MD2: @Hispinas (315) W 5-1 (7th)
MD3: vs Nacaltora (UR) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 4-0 (4th)
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MD4: @Central Shaneville (UR) - Red Bull Arena, Shaneville City W 3-1 (3rd)
MD5: vs Cassadaigua (4) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 0-2 (4th)
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MD6: @Flavovespia (41) - Highland Road, Hadford Hill W 1-0 (3rd)
MD7: vs Muralos (259) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 5-4 (2nd)
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MD8: @Havynwilde (126) - Uvenstadion Superparc, Iyes D 1-1 (3rd)
MD9: vs Acronius (100) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 3-2 (2nd/6W-1D-2L/19pts/+9GD)
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MD10: @Busoga Islands (79) - The Dukuma Oval, Dukuma, North Island W 2-1 (2nd)
MD11: vs Hispinas (315) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 2-0 (2nd)
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MD12: @Nacaltora (UR) W 3-1 (2nd)
MD13: vs Central Shaneville (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 4-3 (2nd)
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MD14: @Cassadaigua (4) - Dagan Airways Stadium, Concord Heights L 1-2 (2nd)
MD15: vs Flavovespia (41) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 4-3 (2nd)
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MD16: @Muralos (259) - Komcatt Arena, Urbego (?)
MD17: vs Havynwilde (126) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
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MD18: @Acronius (100) - Atlas Arena, Defense

[Cassadaigua]

Things almost wrapped up,
By Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

Following back to back wins against the two main teams chasing the Fillies, Cassadaigua has pretty much wrapped things up. They have secured, at minimum, a spot in the playoffs, but that is not good enough for anyone here. With the lead over TJUN-ia pushed to seven, all the Fillies need to do is win one of these following games: vs Hispinas at home, at Nacaltora, or vs Central Shaneville at home. Manager Stephanie Sweeney often says that we have not clinched anything until there is a “Q” next to our name, but it was announced this morning that Kelsey Morgan will get the start in goal against Hispinas. This would make World Cup 87 the 7th World Cup that Morgan has started at least one game in. The 37-year old continues to play at a high level, and was named to the team in the reserve role behind Tiffany Nelson and Danielle Cotter. Cotter has had a couple starts during the campaign, but this is the first for the keeper who was our starter from World Cups 83-85. Morgan said of the opportunity, “I was hoping for at least one game. I had a chance to dress as a substitute over Danielle a couple times, but I am really excited about this start as I didn’t want to just be here to provide veteran leadership, as they like to call it.” Anyone who has seen Morgan play would know that she is here on merit and not for veteran leadership. There would be no need for the latter since the starter, Nelson, is 31 herself.

Sweeney suggested that the team could play a highly unique lineup for the road tilt in Nacaltora, a nation that is waiting to get their signature win in qualifying. However, right now the only major change is Morgan getting the chance against Hispinas. This all goes back to Sweeney’s stance that you don’t fiddle with the lineup until it's official. Summer Speers, a reserve defender who has only gotten in one game thus far posted on Spacebook that, “I might get a chance to start against Nacaltora. That would be my first ever start on this team and really make me feel like I am not just along for the ride.” This is one thing about Stephanie Sweeney that could make her different then many managers in the World Cup: she sticks with a regular lineup. You don’t get variations of it from game to game. Occasionally, you will see a scheduled sub get a start here and there, and she has given Danielle Cotter a couple opportunities in goal, but otherwise, Sweeney keeps the main group together.

Following the TJUN-ia win, a game in which Madison McClain returned to the scoresheet for the first time in two games, scoring both of the goals in a 2-1 win, including a real beauty to open the scoring, the team seemed to put a lock on the group, but a tough game right after that against the Busoga Islands had the potential to thwart that momentum. Lakiska City Cricket Park was loud in support of their team, and that is something that our players would feed off of. “Playing in Banija, I’ve heard about this place in the Busoga Islands. It was exciting to experience it, you love to see this kind of enthusiasm on the road. You expect that you will get it when you play elite nations, but to see it from an up and coming nation, it kind of reminds you about how special it is to be competing at this level,” was a comment from midfielder Meghan Wolcott. She did not score in the match, but assisted on Morgan Rosenblatt’s goal that opened the scoring just six minutes into the game. Of the goal, Rosenblatt stated, “We knew we couldn’t let them score the first one. We set a goal in the locker room beforehand to score in the first fifteen minutes, and we succeeded in that.” Rachel Schanke made it 2-0 in the 29th minute, and that would be it. Much like the TJUN-ia match, the Fillies took a two goal lead early, and only gave one back, each time being in the final half hour of the game. Rachel Schanke says the team isn’t partying yet, “We still need more points. No one wants to be in the playoff. You see the teams that might be in the playoffs? That is crazy! Yeah, we want no part of that, thank you very much!”

[Banija]

Lukiiko- Parliament
Katikkiro- Prime Minister
Kabaka- King
Isebantu- Crown Prince

The Hoima Eagle
The #1 print news source for Central Ankole!

With election season looming, Xolile Lubabalo announces return to hometown to contest Hoima West for the Collective Resistance Union


Ambassador Xolile Lubabalo's official portrait

HOIMA, ANKOLE- Everybody in Hoima knows and remembers Xolile Lubablo. She's a political titan of this region. She is a former Minister of Justice in the Banijan cabinet, and served for 9 years as a member of the Lukiiko before she, stunningly, lost her Parliamentary seat in elections that happened five years ago. That was when the CRU went from being the largest party in Banija to the opposition, from leading a coalition government to opposing one. A number of CRU members lost, none bigger than this cabinet hero, and our city's native daughter, Xolile Lubabalo.

Let's take a full-length look at the career of the 51 year old politician turned diplomat, who is evidently returning to the field of politics. She is born and raised right here at home, here in Hoima. She is a graduate of Northern Moravica University, earning a degree in international relations at just 22 years old. She then went to law school, earning her juris doctor at Sankt Adelheid University, in Bwubanza, on Banija's southeast coast, along the border with Geisenfred. Really, her star was rising then. She returned to Hoima as a defense attorney, simply biding her time to work in government.

Around the age of 28, she became a political activist against the Matthias Mutebi Government. "I had to stand for what I believe in." She told reporters when she ran for political office the first time. "Time, of course, proved me right- he was an egotistical maniac, who didn't stand for Banija. Only for himself. He was a danger to democracy, and a danger to the people of the Kingdom." Hoima, of course, is a bastion for left-wingers in Banija, and it was a hotbed for dissidence against the Government that intentionally butchered Banija's response to a drought, and then went to an actual war with Equestria and lost, badly.

At the age of 30, she was elected to the City Council. At the age of 32, she was re-elected, and then Mutebi's government fell. It would take two years for the Kabaka to organize elections- but he eventually did. And the Collective Resistance Union, formerly a more minor left-wing party, stunned the country, winning the first (and only) absolute majority government to date, since independence. She was a member of the CRU before they were cool- and she won election and was swept into the wave of progressive governance. In her first term in the Lukiiko, she quickly rose through the ranks. She became the Chairwoman of the Foreign Affairs Committee, and held that position for two years, before becoming Chief Whip for three.

When the CRU was elected again, she became a cabinet Minister- The Minister of Justice, as well as the party's Chief Whip. She played a major role as Minister of Justice, being in one of the country's most prominent cabinet positions. While she had many major reforms, it would be Matthias Mutebi that would cause her downfall. She led a failed push to increase the lifetime under house arrest punishment for Matthias Mutebi, which would, in the eventual election, cause her to lose her seat in Hoima. 9 years in the Lukiiko, and then, all of a sudden, gone.

She was in retirement, serving as a consultant for a year, before her old boss and good friend, Kizza Makoni, called her and summoned her to Busukuma. She came, and, to her surprise, had a meeting with not only the Katikkiro, but the Kabaka himself, and his son, Mutungi. The Kingdom had been asked to play an active role in helping assist and oversee the Chromatik transition to democracy. It'd net her an Ambassadorial appointment.

She soon came under fire in Chromatika. Opponents of the democratic transition attacked her, and one egged her to ruin her gomesi- which is, for the benefit of our foreign readership, a traditional Banijan dress. But she held her head up high, and refused to bow down. She quickly told the press that she has 'no intentions of being bullied out of Chromatika', and that she would remain fully committed to the democratic transition in the country, no matter the cost. The Royal Family backed her, and she stayed.

As politics continued in Banija, she, as an Ambassador, was far far away from the domestic political scene- both literally(as she lived in Chromatika) and politically. She's had a long list of accomplishments as Ambassador even since. She has been an active proponent of trade and increasing economic opportunities between Banija and Chromatika, even memorably arguing vehemently for it at a hearing in the Lukiiko just two years ago. She was a big proponent in helping ChromatikAir establish flight connections with Banija, to allow direct flights from Istria and Busukuma to the country for the first time.

Within Chromatika, she was a very active Ambassador, becoming a big advocate for getting members of Chromatika former color tiered system an education, as well as religious freedom within the nation. For her efforts, she was awarded one of Chromatika's highest civilian honors- the Checkered Cross. In an interview with us, she told us that she would miss a lot of parts of Chromatika. "The food in the country was great, and the energy of the capitol was fantastic as well. Always hustling and bustling... It is great to see a country embrace democracy for the first time. Chromatika will do great things... Our people have much in common. Banija will do well to ally ourselves with Chromatika for a long time to come. And hey- I'm a Northern grad. Being able to watch Felswyr State beat Loyola-Istria in person was fantastic, was it not?"

In her official statement, released through the Banijan Embassy to Chromatika, she spoke about how it was time for her to come. "The years I have spent our here have been some of the most impactful of my life. There is nothing easy about going to a foreign country and serving as Ambassador, but the people have been gracious and welcoming. In particular, I'd like to thank both former Premier Alina Krasnikova, and present Premier Keri Wyse Aart. They have been great to me. Chromatika has great leadership, and they are a democracy that is only going to strengthen with time."

"But I have decided to bring my time in Chromatika to an end. But Chromia will always hold great memories. Especially watching Crossroads games, of course. Hopefully, my opportunities to work with Chromatika won't be gone as of yet. But as the saying goes- it is time for me to go home." In a seperate statement released on her personal website, released almost at the same time, she announced that she has clinched the CRU's nomination to pursue the Hoima West seat in the Lukiiko for the upcoming general election. Hoima West is a different Hoima seat than the one she lost, and is a safe CRU seat- there's almost no chance she loses, ensuring that she should return to the next Lukiiko.

A few minutes after her statement was released, Isebantu Mutungi, who serves as the country's foreign minister, released his own statement. The statement thanked Xolile Lubabalo for her service as part of the Banijan Foreign Ministry, as well as thanking her for her professionalism. In the same statement, he announced the appointment of her replacement as Ambassador to Chromatika, effective immediately. Dr. Kekoto Mansaré has been appointed as the new Ambassador to Chromatika.

Kekoto Mansaré is 63 years old. He was a graduate of the University of Loyola-Busukuma. He has served simultaneously as the Provost & Executive Vice Chancellor for Academic Affairs of the University of Loyola-Istria, reporting only to the system wide President and the Board of Regents for the past 15 years. He served as the Loyola-Istria representative on the Istria Olympic Host Committee, and as Executive Director of the Olympic Village. He is a two-time graduate of Loyola-Istria, earning both his bachelor's and phD from the University.

He has previously served as a Chargé d'affaires to the Equestrian States, although that ended about 25 years ago. He released a statement thanking the Isebantu for his appointment. "I have always wanted to serve my country in this way, and I would like to thank His Majesty the Kabaka, as well as Isebantu Mutungi, for the opportunity. I have big shoes to fill- Xolile Lubablo was a model Ambassador in every single way. I have spent plenty of years as part of the Loyola-Istria community, and I look forward to a return to my original career path- diplomacy."

Other News
- Banija's World Cup Qualification campaign, previously thought to be in great shape, has all of a sudden turned into a heated race. Earning just one point across their last two home games, a pair of New Lusitania wins have reduced an 8 point gap between first and second down to three points. This includes a 3-2 loss on Matchday 15 to Oberour Ar Moro, a game that occured right here in Hoima. While criticism of the national team, naturally, is heating up after a pair of poor results, manager Marcus Waters said that the team will need to refocus and recalibrate, and will be ready.
- Gitonga Kahara, the now retired former Hoima Warriors player and former Banijan national team captain, has criticized the national team, saying that they are not playing with the hustle mentality that brought Banija up the rankings.
- Banija is just one of a number of big teams who many thought would coast to Qualification, but now find themselves fighting for their lives. In the most danger is Eura, who is 5 points behind Siovanija & Teusland for a playoff spot in World Cup Qualification group 19. Other big teams that are in danger of missing out on World Cup 87 are Nephara(4th place), Baker Park(2nd place), The Holy Empire(2nd place), and Recuecn(2nd place.
- Opening betting odds on favorites to win the World Cup Finals are officially out. In Banijan casinos, Farfadillis and Valanora currently have the best odds at 3/1.